Barry (2018) s03e06 Episode Script

1 (WIND BLOWING) Right there! Right up there.
That's where your brother wanted to put a hot tub.
I mean, it was his dream.
SHANE: And he gave Berkman 1,700? Yeah! I mean, it sounded like a game-changer to me, but you know Berkman, he was against it.
What kind of dick says no to a hot tub right there? (LAUGHS) I don't know! What kind of what (ECHOING) Fuckin' crazy! Right? I mean, it's absolutely nuts, am I Am I right? Anyway, y-you you got his address.
You call me when it's done.
I'm gonna be checking out a friend of mine in LA - (GUNSHOT) - (BODY THUDS) (SIGHS) Let's go.
(DIRT BIKES RUMBLING) (BIKES FADE AWAY, SILENCE) One of the bodies we pulled out of the Northridge house explosion was Fernando Sagredo, the head of the Bolivians.
So, we must have gotten to the nursery in the middle of them getting payback.
Right, so that means it was NoHo Hank who planted that bomb.
NoHo is soft.
I mean, look at the way he dresses.
He is not the bomb-planting type.
This was the Raven.
Okay, look.
You think Rumpelstiltskin over here could take out a whole monastery of goons all by himself? No, I ain't buying it.
I ain't buying it, no.
No, no, no, no.
Our guy is highly trained.
He's probably, like, ex-military or s Well, how do we know Rumper-stiltskin over here isn't some kind of badass? I mean I mean Look at his jacket, right? It-it's leather, and it's cool.
ALBERT NGUYEN: Have you heard from Berkman? - Barry? - ALBERT: Yeah.
Uh, we haven't seen him since he did that charity drive for Chris.
He said he was taking acting classes.
- No, no, no.
(LAUGHING) - Yes! Barry Berkman, the human ice machine, is taking acting classes? He seems to like it! (LAUGHS) Ah Is he still out here in LA? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is.
- We should all get together.
- Yeah.
Yeah, no, I-I'd love to see him.
Yeah.
- I'll call him.
- THEO: Mom! Can I go shoot some hoops at Victor's? Sure, honey.
He's all grown up now.
(LAUGHS) (MUZAK PLAYING) SALLY: And then this algorithm killed my show, and I'm just feeling really lost, you know? And now, my agent wants me to go and take a meeting at BanShe.
You don't wanna work with those dudes.
I know! Yeah, I used to be a baker at this kickass churro shop in Eagle Rock.
It was cushy as fuck.
Like I could've rode that shit forever, but I knew I had to level up to beignets.
Well, all the churro dudes were like, "Rein in your ambitions, Mitch," but I was like nah.
And now, and I say this in all humility, my place is the shit.
And that's all because I believed in my own abilities.
I never really thought about it that way.
I know.
(DEEP INHALE) Oh, my God, that's heaven.
- Jesus Christ, get a life.
- SALLY: Sorry that took so long.
Oh, my God, I dream about these.
We can't just give up on "Joplin.
" I mean, maybe we try another streaming service? Let's see what BanShe has to say.
They have another project they'd like to work with you on.
But I don't know if I wanna work with those dudes.
(MOUTH FULL) I think you should at least hear them out.
Did you get the dipping sauce? Maybe we start our own streaming service.
You get the fuck away from me! - (PHONE BUZZING) - (BARRY SNIFFS, GROANS) BARRY: Hello? - SHARON (ON PHONE): Barry? - BARRY: Yes.
SHARON: Hi, it's Sharon, Chris's wife.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you? Uh, what's wrong? Nothing's wrong.
How are you? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
- Uh, how are you? - SHARON: Good.
- I saw that article about you.
- BARRY: (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was H-how's your son? - SHARON: He's good.
- Yeah? SHARON: Um, look, I-I'm putting together a dinner for some of the vets from my charity, and I'd love for you to come.
Yeah.
No, that'd be great.
When? Um, I'm thinking tonight.
Is that crazy? That's not crazy at all.
Yeah.
No, just send me your address.
That's great.
A-a-absolutely great for me.
- Great.
- Uh, hey, can I bring something? - No, no.
- BARRY: No, no, no.
I know exactly what I'm gonna bring and it's gonna be great.
And you're gonna love it 'cause they're delicious.
Okay, well, I-I'll talk to you soon.
- BARRY: All right.
- Okay.
I'll talk to you later, or I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, send me your address.
Okay.
Love you.
I, uh I didn't mean to say I love you.
I don't know why I just said that, okay? Sorry.
I just went through a bad breakup.
- I'm in a bad place.
- No, no.
It-it's all good.
It's all good.
(LAUGHING) You know what I mean? Uh I thought you were gonna hang up.
Y I'll hang up.
Okay.
Bye.
This is great.
(WIND BLOWING) (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS) (TRUCK RUMBLING) ♪ (GROANS) (GROANS) (SIGHS) (RUMBLING STOPS) (GROANING) (GROANS) - (FUCHES SHOUTING) - (SPEAKING SPANISH) (GRUNTS) Sí, sí (BIRDS CHIRPING) (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) Ow.
Oh (FUCHES GROANS) (LIGHT FOOTSTEPS) ANITA: Are you feeling better? Holy smokes.
(GOAT BLEATS OUTSIDE) (BLEATING) (BLEAT) (POLICE CHATTERING) (CRYING) I'm so fucked! Everything is so fucked! (SNIFFLES) So now, you know, my business is, like, completely burned down and cops are on my tail, and they took my Cristobal.
This dude lied to you, didn't tell you he was married, didn't tell you he was straight.
Now don't get me wrong.
He sounds like a real catch, but those are massive red flags, bro.
So, I go down to Bolivia and say, like, you know, like, no more red flags, right? MITCH: Hey, dude, look.
I know we just met, but you seem, like kind of rad.
My shit's about to franchise.
We could run this business together.
Yeah You know, I might need a few days to, you know mull that over.
MITCH: So Wednesday? Yeah - Okay, bye.
- Late.
I had that talk with my daughter.
And? (BED CREAKS) Can you handle more amazing news? - How did you get into my house? - Bob Jacobson.
You know who that is? Producer.
He did the "Wonder Man" films.
You can't just break into my house.
He's moving into the streaming space, which is now creeping into the theater space.
The guy was so moved by what you did as a teacher, he wants to give you your own show.
"The Gene Cousineau Master Class.
" - "Master Class"? - That's right.
You with the students.
You know, working with them like you did with that vet, that Shawn.
- Barry - Teaching them everything about acting.
Unlocking all the weird shit that motivates them.
Saving their lives.
It's going to be streaming into people's homes, but he also wants to put it in movie theaters.
- What's his opening offer? - 400,000.
But I think I can talk him way up.
All right.
I'll do it, under one condition.
(HUSHED) Oh, please.
Leave my classroom.
I don't wanna have to get - a restraining order against you.
- You're not listening.
You get to direct all of these stage shows, and they shoot out all over the world! I'm not interested in helping you with your little Master Class.
- Now, go.
- And there's the problem.
- It's not my Master Class.
- Keep your voice down.
(HUSHED) It's not my Master Class.
It is a collaboration.
We do it together.
I didn't I said I wouldn't do this unless you got a bigger piece.
- Oh, fuck you.
- No! All right, 80-20.
I don't need your charity.
Take it all.
- Bullshit.
- Try me.
If I were you, I would think about it.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) (SERENE MUSIC PLAYING) FUCHES: Mm (SIGHS) So, what do you a-and your people call water? Water.
You know you're only 20 miles outside of LA.
There's a Starbucks right over that hill.
Wow, that's (LAUGHS) - That's incredible Shit.
- (PHONE BUZZING) Uh Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- Gotta Yeah.
Jesus fuckin' Christ, what?! - JIM MOSS (ON PHONE): Is this Ken Goulet? - FUCHES: Yeah.
This is Jim Moss.
My daughter was Detective Janice Moss.
You called me about some information regarding her murder.
I'd like to meet and discuss this.
You know what? Never mind.
I made a mistake.
I'm sorry I bothered you.
♪ Hey, Sally, exclamation point.
I just wanted to say I appreciate you for calling me out for being a, quote, "violent asshole," end quote.
I am sorry for all the shit I put you through over the past couple of weeks.
Parentheses, yelling at you at work, comma, offering to break into your boss's house, comma, take sleeping pictures of her, et cetera, et cetera, end parentheses, wincing emoji.
There is no excuses for that.
B.
Period.
S.
Exclamation point.
Exclamation point.
Exclamation point.
- Oh, man.
- "This looks nice, and it's 40% off.
"Anyway, I don't think I'm going to do acting anymore.
"I found a new community with my Marine friends.
"I'm trying to move forward by going into the past "like Marty McFly.
LOL.
"Sir, you're talking too loud.
Shit, I'm sorry.
"Just please be quack ye shame Jonas Brothers haha fresh.
"Sally, I understand if you do not want to talk to me again.
"I will five you spaceship brittle teeth in the sunshine.
Barry.
" Jesus Christ.
You dodged a bullet.
Sally Reed! Morgan Dawn-Cherry.
(SQUEALING) Okay, so excited to have you here.
- Massive, massive fan.
- Thanks.
So, what is this new project you guys have for Sally? Okay.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
So, um, this new project we have, it's called "The New Medusas," and we think it could really use the Sally Reed touch.
The show that replaced "Joplin" on the homepage? Not the best pickup line, I know, but hear me out.
So, it's a show about three women who run a salon in SoHo, who are just trying to get by, and they have snakes for hair, and they turn dudes into stone.
- Okay - So, right now, the show, it's a little, I don't know, "mm?" And I think that you, Sally Reed, could bring to it more of a, "mm!" Mm.
I don't know what you mean.
So, right now, the show, it's more (FLATLY) "yeah.
" And you could bring it to more of a, "yeah!" LINDSAY: I-I think I know what you're saying.
I have a client right now that's bringing "yeah!" to a Fox show that before was just (GUTTURAL GROWL) So, we're looking for less (GUTTURAL GROWL) and more (EXAGGERATED YELP) LINDSAY: That actually wasn't in the email.
Sally doesn't do (EXAGGERATED YELP) She does, "yeah!" She does (GRAVELLY) "no!" (NORMAL) And she'll do like Okay.
I understand.
So instead of It's more LINDSAY: I really think you should do it.
(SALLY SIGHS) It'll give you time to audition, to develop your next project, it's Writer's room? Isn't that kind of a demotion? Shouldn't I be trying to pitch my own show? Look, it's good money, and, more importantly, it preserves your relationship with BanShe, which is important.
(SIGHS) All right, I'll do it.
Love it! Yes! - SALLY: What's the money? - LINDSAY: Woo! It's good.
It's good.
We'll get it up.
We'll get it up.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) (ENGINE STOPS) Are you tied up in - some bad business? - FUCHES: I was.
Trying to put it behind me.
My daughter, Anita She likes you.
I think she wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
(SIGHS) Told her you seem like a good man.
I'm working on it, amigo.
♪ Sometimes, you have to abide by the signs God gives you.
(SIGHS) You said something there.
ANITA'S FATHER: I'll be right back.
Anita wants to make dinner for us.
Hope you like spicy.
Fantastic.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) (SPANISH CONTINUES) Abide by the signs God gives you.
(STARTS ENGINE) (SHOUTING IN SPANISH) FUCHES: Mr.
Moss.
Kenneth Goulet.
I actually have some very interesting information about who killed your daughter.
Can we meet? Absolutely.
- Yeah, okay.
- So, one, two I was walking down the street (IMITATES WALKING) and, uh, I-I came to my house, - and I w-walked up the stairs.
- (GRUNTING) And then I opened up a door.
(SLOW CREAK) A-and then I went to the bathroom, and I was like - Zip - W-what's going on here? - So then I left the bathroom.
- Oh.
- And there was and, uh - (IMITATES WALKING) and then they were having a meeting.
(IMITATING GARBLED CHATTER) And the first person to speak at that meeting - was Jesse Jackson.
- Je - Jesse.
Go ahead, do it.
- J Um Be Jesse Jackson.
♪ What's "Beg-nets by Mitch"? You haven't seen these dudes in five years? Uh, it's more like 12.
Huh.
Yeah, I'd tread lightly if I were you.
Why? MITCH: People change, man.
Like, this one time, I went to this 10-year reunion with these guys I used to deal drugs with.
And they just, like, weren't the same dudes.
Like, this one guy was, like, super MAGA, trying to get me on anti-CRT shit.
And the other dude made me watch videos of dads rapping.
It was corny as fuck.
Yeah, I don't see these guys being like that.
You don't know.
Trust me.
Like I would do like, a Zoom sesh before you go for the full-on in-person hang.
Just tip your toe.
- All right.
- No, no.
Telling you, dude.
Dip that toe.
You're my buddy, you're my friend ♪ Oh, my buddy, where have you been? ♪ You're my buddy ♪ (DIRT BIKES RUMBLING) (DIRT BIKE RUMBLING) (REVS ENGINE) I think this is the guy.
Is this the guy? - Yeah, yeah! Yeah, this is the dude! - CAL: Are you sure? TRACI: Uh, does it look like the picture Goulet gave us? CAL: I think so.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
- What do we do? - TRACI: Shoot him? CAL: Uh, okay.
(TIRES SCREECH, ENGINE ROARS) (TIRES SCREECH) - (CRASHING) - What?! (GUNFIRE) (BULLETS RICOCHETING) (BARRY GROANING) (CAR ENGINE STOPS) (PANTING) (DOG BARKING) BARRY (SINGING): You're my buddy, you're my friend ♪ You're my buddy till the end ♪ You're my buddy, you're my friend ♪ You're my buddy ♪ Ah, shit.
Damn it! (DIRT BIKE ENGINE IDLING) - (GUNSHOT) - Shit! (GUNFIRE) (QUIETLY) Fuck.
(TIRES SQUEAL, HORNS HONK) (DIRT BIKE ENGINE PUTTERING) (CAR HORN HONKS) (HONKING) (PUTTERING CONTINUES) (HONKING) (DIRT BIKES ROARING) - (WIND WHOOSHING) - (CAR RADIOS PLAYING) (DIRT BIKES ROARING) (WIND WHOOSHING) (CAR RADIOS PLAYING) (DIRT BIKE ROARING) ROBBIE (ON RADIO): He's coming towards you! (SUNROOF OPENING) (DIRT BIKE PUTTERING) (BULLETS RICOCHETING) Goddammit! Fuck! (DIRT BIKE ROARING) - Handoff! - What? Shit, shit, shit! (CRASHING) (ROAD WORKERS SHOUTING) (DIRT BIKE PUTTERING) (ENGINE POPPING) BARRY: Ah, shit.
It's got a 10-power adjustable driver's seat.
- (GUNFIRE) - Not an 8, not a 9.
I'm talking a solid 10.
We're talking maximum comfort here, lumbar support.
Look, you need to treat your back right, and it all starts right there.
- (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) - Really, it's about quality of life.
You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but, uh, recently, I've been the wife and I I've been having an affair.
- (SALES PITCH CONTINUES) - (DIRT BIKE RUMBLING) BARRY: Jesus fuckin' Christ.
Ah, fuck.
No fucking way.
Not today.
Not today.
No fucking way.
Oh, shit! Fuck! - (CROWD SCREAMING) - (GUNFIRE) (SCREAMING, CRYING) Mr.
Kleintop, on the roof! On the roof! On the roof! - (GUNSHOT) - (CROWD SCREAMING) - Jesus Christ! - Oh, my God.
- What the fuck was that? - Oh, that was cool! - He's got up! He's got up! - (GUNSHOT) Everybody good? - Is everybody okay? - Fuck me.
- Nobody's hurt, right? - I've never seen anything like that.
- You all right? - Go back inside? - You okay? - I'm okay.
Everybody good? - Oh, my God! - Did everybody make it out? - (CHATTERING CONTINUES) - You're my friend ♪ BARRY: Jesus.
You're my buddy till the end ♪ You're my buddy, you're my friend ♪ - (PANTING) Hey! - SHARON: Hey! (GASPS) Beignets by Mitch.
- Oh, my God! - (LAUGHS) Yeah! - Come on in! - Yeah.
SHARON: Oh, wow.
These smell so good.
I think you're gonna like these guys.
You know one of them.
- Fuck - Here you go.
Thanks.
Is it okay if I have one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely! Eat as many as you like.
Theo's so excited to see you! ♪ ♪ What did you put in the sauce? Die, you motherfucker.
(CHOKING) (THUDS) ("THE OTHER SONG" BY SPIRIT PLAYING) Ow! ♪ Hoo! ♪ Yeah! Uh ♪ Aight, y'all listen to this? Ha! ♪ (FUNKY GUITAR RIFF) ♪