Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) s03e06 Episode Script
Night of the Batmen!
Right on time.
You sure you don't want any help? Thanks, vigilante, but Gotham is my turf.
I can respect that.
Man's got to do what a man's got to do.
There was a man from Gotham in the Batmobile he rode defending the defenseless it's to him I sing this ode with his hammers of justice he struck down every foe safety for our families it's this to him we owe gray and blue Gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue he fought the vilest villains too numerous to list rendering his verdict with batwing-covered fists descending from the night sky his scalloped cape would flow those who broke the law deserved the punches he would throw gray and blue gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue but beneath the mask was just a man same as you and me His true face he could never share a secret identity but why endure this lone crusade? fight a fight you just can't win? if asked, the bat would tell you someone's got to stand up to all this sin gray and blue gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue gray and blue ââ¢Âª gray and blue ââ¢Âª ââ¢Âª The man from Gotham ââ¢Âª wore the gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue Holy moley! Since when does a space pirate like Kanjar Ro have firepower like this? Maybe we should call in some backup? Worry not.
I have a feeling the tide is about to turn.
How does he always seem to take out more bad guys than us? How does he do it without any powers? Easy-- He's Batman, that's how.
Huzzah! Even I can't get through his energy shield.
Well, someone better, because he's about to blow up the planet.
Now, J'onn.
That never gets old.
Reminds me of the time I infiltrated the legion of doom disguised as a deodorant bar.
The look on Luthor's-- - J'onn, the shield! - Oh, right.
Marvel, manhunter, stop that ship.
Aquaman, arrow, drive off the remaining forces.
Craters of phobos No.
There! The good news is you survived.
The bad news, that's all you'll be doing for a while.
Give it to me straight, J'onn.
You're going to be out of commission for a few weeks.
- Weeks? - Never fear.
I'll be here to maximize every minute of your rehabilitation.
Biometric repositioning slashes healing time by as much as 3%.
I don't have time to heal.
If the criminal underworld learned I was out of commission, it would be disastrous to Gotham.
Don't worry.
News hasn't left our little circle.
Indeed.
We're as mum as an oyster.
I called as soon as I heard.
How you feeling, bats? Who told you? Oh, I read about it in Aquaman's latest memoir, "the one where Batman almost died.
" Heh.
Eh-heh.
Ha, ha, ha.
Must protect Gotham.
No way, pal.
Those bones don't set properly, you'll be fighting crime with a bat-cane.
I'm sure Nightwing and Batgirl can-- You don't understand what Batman means to the city-- a symbol of hope to the people, an omen of terror to criminals.
Gotham needs a Batman.
But for now, we must worry about what Batman needs.
And that's his rest.
He's right.
Gotham needs a Batman.
And even though the original may not be available A Batman that fair city will have.
Amazing how losing one hero can make a city so inviting.
I am vengeance.
I am the night.
I am Batman! Until further notice, that is.
Surrender, criminal scum, or face my hammers of justice.
You won't take me alive.
Being Batman ain't so tough.
Was that meant for me? How does he hit anything with these? Better stick with what I know.
Aww.
Stupid cape.
Have at thee, thou dankish, foul-born rat's bane.
Oh, brother.
I see thou hast embraced more noble weaponry.
Bow versus blade! Ha-ha! Thanks Oh, yeah.
Got this whole bat thing down.
Nyah.
That's what you think, see.
How does Batman do this alone? J'onn, is this really necessary? I may be from Mars, but I've had my share of injuries.
Why, this is just like the time shaggy man bit my entire arm clean off.
How terrible.
Took a debilitating 10 seconds for it to grow back.
Whoops.
Almost forgot.
Have to get to Gotham.
What am I thinking? We must keep that rapier mind of yours running at peak efficiency.
Crossword puzzles.
Thrilling.
Pockets and purses, please, my panicked patrons.
Your antarctic anarchy ends here, you antagonistic albatross! Ooh! Your famed fractures were mere fabrication, eh? Feckless fool.
Finish him! Your gaggle of goons is going over the gangplank, you, uh Oh, the Halibut.
Time to make my exit.
Yes! Thank you, Neptune.
Escape by sea would be unwise, penguin.
Surely, you're aware, Batman, penguins spend most of the time on land! Suffering sand dollars.
How does Batman do this alone? My, Batman, you are persistent.
I can see it's not worth trying to fight you over this.
Which is why I'll be administering this powerful sedative to you.
I'm sorry, Batman, but tough love is the best medicine.
You know what they say about doctors-- Cure the disease, kill the patient.
And to think, this whole thing covered in gold plate ours for the taking.
Ahh, you said it, grundy.
Now, push! Now, villains, you shall meet your doom.
How you do that? I have a bat statue-stopper gizmo on my utilitySash.
Now you just bought yourself a world of hurt, mister! Been working out.
Holy moley.
How does Batman do this alone? Don't worry, pal.
I won't let Gotham go without a Batman.
After all, who better to embody the many faces of the dark knight? Now, let's see.
Brooding Broodier Broodiest Can't fail with the classic look.
Sit tight, pretty kitties.
You're going home with moi.
Hope they fill the blackgate litter box, Catwoman, because you'll go-- Whoa-- HiHi.
Come on, Plas, hold it together.
Get broodiest.
Surrender, you tawdry tabby.
Plastic man.
I get a brand-new outfit To attract the caped crusader And instead, I get the bendable buffoon! Ow! But I'm just like the real Batman! Ow! You know, adaptable? Ow! My.
You are flexible, aren't you? Maybe we got off to the wrong start.
Tempting, but I'm really more of a dog person.
Surrender, criminal scum! I'm Batman! Outrageous! I'm Batman! Hey, I'm more Batman than Batman.
Man.
O'brien, please.
You're as un-dark and un-knight as they get.
And I'm pretty sure Batman wears pants.
Thanks for the fashion tip, bat-Elvis.
Yeah, well, I'm rubber, you're glue-- I knew there was a phony bat-jerk at work.
But 4? It must be Christmas! Must get to transporter.
J'onn, I must get back to Gotham city.
Never you mind.
What you need is rest.
Tired.
So tired.
I write my own prescriptions, manhunter For justice.
You know, lately, Gotham's gotten to be a bit confined.
I'm tired of being a one-town clown.
So I pilfered every lab in Gotham for the techno-goodies to produce this.
Let me run you through the features.
This baby comes fully loaded.
Joker gas, lasers, air-to-air missiles, floor mats, even a moon roof! That's right.
Once I gas Gotham for good, I'm going mobile! I'm taking this show on the road to deliver my signature insanity to every major city on earth.
What would the real Batman do? Everything he could.
- Then let's do it.
- For Gotham! Farewell, bat-similes! This caravan of chaos is making an unexpected stop at Arkham asylum.
Batsy! It's really you! Nice entrance, but you're plum out of time.
There's always time for justice.
What else you got? Clown overboard! You took down the entire ship With nothing but a batarang.
Of course.
Now, that's the Batman I know and love.
A little help? Don't do it, bat-buddy! It's a trick! A good comedian knows when to get off the stage, joker.
Thanks for looking after Gotham while I was indisposed.
This makeshift exosuit will allow me to remain in action while my body heals.
Speaking of healing, how did you get away from manhunter? And that's how I prevailed in the third campaign of Horodnear.
But the fourth? Oho! Now, that is a real humdinger.
I appreciate the gesture, my friends, but for Gotham, there is only one Batman.
Heard you needed some help.
Would have been here sooner, but wormholes are tricky business.
Ok, but just for tonight.
You sure you don't want any help? Thanks, vigilante, but Gotham is my turf.
I can respect that.
Man's got to do what a man's got to do.
There was a man from Gotham in the Batmobile he rode defending the defenseless it's to him I sing this ode with his hammers of justice he struck down every foe safety for our families it's this to him we owe gray and blue Gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue he fought the vilest villains too numerous to list rendering his verdict with batwing-covered fists descending from the night sky his scalloped cape would flow those who broke the law deserved the punches he would throw gray and blue gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue but beneath the mask was just a man same as you and me His true face he could never share a secret identity but why endure this lone crusade? fight a fight you just can't win? if asked, the bat would tell you someone's got to stand up to all this sin gray and blue gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue gray and blue ââ¢Âª gray and blue ââ¢Âª ââ¢Âª The man from Gotham ââ¢Âª wore the gray and blue the man from Gotham wore the gray and blue Holy moley! Since when does a space pirate like Kanjar Ro have firepower like this? Maybe we should call in some backup? Worry not.
I have a feeling the tide is about to turn.
How does he always seem to take out more bad guys than us? How does he do it without any powers? Easy-- He's Batman, that's how.
Huzzah! Even I can't get through his energy shield.
Well, someone better, because he's about to blow up the planet.
Now, J'onn.
That never gets old.
Reminds me of the time I infiltrated the legion of doom disguised as a deodorant bar.
The look on Luthor's-- - J'onn, the shield! - Oh, right.
Marvel, manhunter, stop that ship.
Aquaman, arrow, drive off the remaining forces.
Craters of phobos No.
There! The good news is you survived.
The bad news, that's all you'll be doing for a while.
Give it to me straight, J'onn.
You're going to be out of commission for a few weeks.
- Weeks? - Never fear.
I'll be here to maximize every minute of your rehabilitation.
Biometric repositioning slashes healing time by as much as 3%.
I don't have time to heal.
If the criminal underworld learned I was out of commission, it would be disastrous to Gotham.
Don't worry.
News hasn't left our little circle.
Indeed.
We're as mum as an oyster.
I called as soon as I heard.
How you feeling, bats? Who told you? Oh, I read about it in Aquaman's latest memoir, "the one where Batman almost died.
" Heh.
Eh-heh.
Ha, ha, ha.
Must protect Gotham.
No way, pal.
Those bones don't set properly, you'll be fighting crime with a bat-cane.
I'm sure Nightwing and Batgirl can-- You don't understand what Batman means to the city-- a symbol of hope to the people, an omen of terror to criminals.
Gotham needs a Batman.
But for now, we must worry about what Batman needs.
And that's his rest.
He's right.
Gotham needs a Batman.
And even though the original may not be available A Batman that fair city will have.
Amazing how losing one hero can make a city so inviting.
I am vengeance.
I am the night.
I am Batman! Until further notice, that is.
Surrender, criminal scum, or face my hammers of justice.
You won't take me alive.
Being Batman ain't so tough.
Was that meant for me? How does he hit anything with these? Better stick with what I know.
Aww.
Stupid cape.
Have at thee, thou dankish, foul-born rat's bane.
Oh, brother.
I see thou hast embraced more noble weaponry.
Bow versus blade! Ha-ha! Thanks Oh, yeah.
Got this whole bat thing down.
Nyah.
That's what you think, see.
How does Batman do this alone? J'onn, is this really necessary? I may be from Mars, but I've had my share of injuries.
Why, this is just like the time shaggy man bit my entire arm clean off.
How terrible.
Took a debilitating 10 seconds for it to grow back.
Whoops.
Almost forgot.
Have to get to Gotham.
What am I thinking? We must keep that rapier mind of yours running at peak efficiency.
Crossword puzzles.
Thrilling.
Pockets and purses, please, my panicked patrons.
Your antarctic anarchy ends here, you antagonistic albatross! Ooh! Your famed fractures were mere fabrication, eh? Feckless fool.
Finish him! Your gaggle of goons is going over the gangplank, you, uh Oh, the Halibut.
Time to make my exit.
Yes! Thank you, Neptune.
Escape by sea would be unwise, penguin.
Surely, you're aware, Batman, penguins spend most of the time on land! Suffering sand dollars.
How does Batman do this alone? My, Batman, you are persistent.
I can see it's not worth trying to fight you over this.
Which is why I'll be administering this powerful sedative to you.
I'm sorry, Batman, but tough love is the best medicine.
You know what they say about doctors-- Cure the disease, kill the patient.
And to think, this whole thing covered in gold plate ours for the taking.
Ahh, you said it, grundy.
Now, push! Now, villains, you shall meet your doom.
How you do that? I have a bat statue-stopper gizmo on my utilitySash.
Now you just bought yourself a world of hurt, mister! Been working out.
Holy moley.
How does Batman do this alone? Don't worry, pal.
I won't let Gotham go without a Batman.
After all, who better to embody the many faces of the dark knight? Now, let's see.
Brooding Broodier Broodiest Can't fail with the classic look.
Sit tight, pretty kitties.
You're going home with moi.
Hope they fill the blackgate litter box, Catwoman, because you'll go-- Whoa-- HiHi.
Come on, Plas, hold it together.
Get broodiest.
Surrender, you tawdry tabby.
Plastic man.
I get a brand-new outfit To attract the caped crusader And instead, I get the bendable buffoon! Ow! But I'm just like the real Batman! Ow! You know, adaptable? Ow! My.
You are flexible, aren't you? Maybe we got off to the wrong start.
Tempting, but I'm really more of a dog person.
Surrender, criminal scum! I'm Batman! Outrageous! I'm Batman! Hey, I'm more Batman than Batman.
Man.
O'brien, please.
You're as un-dark and un-knight as they get.
And I'm pretty sure Batman wears pants.
Thanks for the fashion tip, bat-Elvis.
Yeah, well, I'm rubber, you're glue-- I knew there was a phony bat-jerk at work.
But 4? It must be Christmas! Must get to transporter.
J'onn, I must get back to Gotham city.
Never you mind.
What you need is rest.
Tired.
So tired.
I write my own prescriptions, manhunter For justice.
You know, lately, Gotham's gotten to be a bit confined.
I'm tired of being a one-town clown.
So I pilfered every lab in Gotham for the techno-goodies to produce this.
Let me run you through the features.
This baby comes fully loaded.
Joker gas, lasers, air-to-air missiles, floor mats, even a moon roof! That's right.
Once I gas Gotham for good, I'm going mobile! I'm taking this show on the road to deliver my signature insanity to every major city on earth.
What would the real Batman do? Everything he could.
- Then let's do it.
- For Gotham! Farewell, bat-similes! This caravan of chaos is making an unexpected stop at Arkham asylum.
Batsy! It's really you! Nice entrance, but you're plum out of time.
There's always time for justice.
What else you got? Clown overboard! You took down the entire ship With nothing but a batarang.
Of course.
Now, that's the Batman I know and love.
A little help? Don't do it, bat-buddy! It's a trick! A good comedian knows when to get off the stage, joker.
Thanks for looking after Gotham while I was indisposed.
This makeshift exosuit will allow me to remain in action while my body heals.
Speaking of healing, how did you get away from manhunter? And that's how I prevailed in the third campaign of Horodnear.
But the fourth? Oho! Now, that is a real humdinger.
I appreciate the gesture, my friends, but for Gotham, there is only one Batman.
Heard you needed some help.
Would have been here sooner, but wormholes are tricky business.
Ok, but just for tonight.