Being Erica (2009) s03e06 Episode Script

Previously on "Being Erica": You are beautiful.
I have wanted you since the moment we met.
Cassidy, um I'm straight.
Oh, looks like someone could do with nap.
I don't really have one.
You should do something about that Erica, I have breast cancer.
Mo.
.
It's gonna be okay Erica.
Yeah.
Stunningand I love the orchid.
Well, not as much as I love that outfit.
Are you always like this, or is this just how you make the new people feel welcome? We're running from the cops.
What do you want.
You threaten me drunk in the middle of Tarantino film, okay? This is new to me! I get it.
Okay, now, you're totally putting words in my mouth.
No, I'm no Eric yes, you are.
I said- You said that Rebecca should send her boss an email and quit.
Can I say something? Actually, I said that she needs to look at why she wants to quit the job, and then figure out if is the job, or if it's her.
Dr.
Tom, could we go back in time five minutes so that Erica can hear what she really said? - Guys - Oh, what I said? What about that you said? You told her- Guys! This is my regret.
Remember? Oh, I remember.
I'm just not so sure that Adam does.
What? Why don't the two of you just step outside and finish this in private.
We're trying to help you, Rebecca No, you're dominating the conversation.
And wasting time.
Late at night.
I'm up in three hours.
And I've already made my decision.
I'm not gonna send the email.
Instead, I'm gonna talk to my boss and work this out.
Oh.
Why didn't you just say so? I tried.
Dr.
Tom: And on that note I think we're done here for the day.
Thank you, everyone.
Do you think they hate us? Whatever.
It's late.
Everyone's tired.
Where you headed Oh, just back to bed.
I'm helping some friends plan this Pride party tomorrow, so Oh yeah.
You? I have to work on my application for this landscaping program.
Oh hey, that sounds like fun.
Essay writing's not really my thing, and it's due Monday, so.
Hmm I mean I could If you want, I could help you with it.
I am an editor, you know.
That's okay.
You're busy.
It's Noit's just a party, it's not a big deal if you want, just swing by my office - it's next to Goblins Cafe.
Yeah maybe, yeah.
I might take you up on that.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
'Night.
'Night Desire - it's powerful, maddening, and utterly unpredictable.
All too often we deny the desire we feel.
Hoping that that will make it disappear.
Along with all the uncomfortable questions we don't want to answer.
And the complicated truths we'd rather not see what happens when desire rises within us, unexpected? How do we stand against it? And should we even try? - Adam?! - Shhh! Oh my God, Adam.
it's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart feels like I'm seeing in the dark waking me up to my heart to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be Come on, come on, come on, come on! Funny.
I thought it'd be bigger.
How much bigger did you want? Uh, why is this an ice penis? That's what you told me to order.
No, I asked you to order an ice Venus.
Like the planet? No, like the Venus de Milo.
The goddess of love.
She without arms.
Not this Phallic monstrosity! Cassidy! Hey! You're here! Oh! Erica! I cant believe you' it's my one day off, of course I wanna spend it with you.
Hi.
Oh, sorry, guys.
- I'm Dave.
- Hi.
This is my partner, Ivan.
Cassidy.
Erica's never mentioned you before Cassidy, she is an old friend and she's in town for Pride.
We hardly ever get to see each other.
I hope you don't mind me crashing your party, but I promise to be useful.
Absolutely.
The more the merrier.
Oh, Erica, you're here! Happy Pride! Julianne, this is a really good friend, Cassidy.
Cassidy, this is Julianne.
- Hi.
- Hi! Wow! I feel like we're really underdressed.
Well, I hate to be a drill sergeant, David, but the parade starts in t-minus two hours and I'm looking at a pile of decorations and a melting penis.
Okay.
Okay Julianne, I have you on votives, and table runners.
Yes, sir.
Okay, um, Ivan, you're in charge of the audio visual display.
You can count on me, commander.
Erica, you are making the sign with Cassidy.
Perfect.
And Doug and Richard- Oh.
Dear.
Lord.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Okay, Ivan, just stay calm.
Stay calm?I will not stay calm.
I am taking control of this platoon.
Doug and Richard, grab the mop.
David, put your penis in the freezer.
After the parade, it's gonna be party central, so we need to be ready.
Let's move! Hello? I'm home! What'd you buy? A new light fixture for the dining room, some paint, some brushes, some speakers What're you gonna paint? This fireplace.
I have always hated this brick, and never done anything about it.
So today I woke up and thought "Today is the day.
" Someone named "Lenin" is calling you.
Lenin? Really? What does he want? To start a revolution? I don't know.
Why don't you answer it and find out.
Hello? Sam speaking.
Hey, Sam, how's it going? Good.
Really good.
It's my, um, first day off in three weeks.
Yeah, I know it's your day off.
Mine too.
That's why I'm calling.
Oh.
Okay You don't have to save lives, I don't have to clean floors, so instead I thought, if you're free, maybe, uh, we both could head to the Rocket.
You're inviting me to go rock-climing? Yeah, you said you wanted to go.
UhWhat time? How's one.
I could probably make that work.
Good.
Very good.
I will see you there.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
What? This feels very familiar.
Ah! She's blushing.
Changing the subject.
Why don't you tell me about what brought you to Toronto.
This, this panel that you're on.
Well, I'm moderating a discussion on inversion rituals for U of T's Pride Week.
Inversion rituals? Yeah, you know, a ritual day where everyone goes nuts and breaks the rules.
Oh, so Pride would be a classic example.
Yeah, Pride, Mardi Gras, Halloween.
Every culture has one.
It's a special day where we violate the social order.
It seems silly, but it's actually a really healthy release.
It allows people to act out the way we would in our fantasies, our dreams.
What? Nothing.
Look, paint faster, or Ivan's gonna kill us.
Ugh! This isn't working.
Come in.
I found some extra shirts laying around, so I thought maybe Thank God.
You might, um Want to try one Or uh leave them.
So, it's either chop down a forest or join the army? Timber! Oh.
So I'll just leave that to dry.
.
And voila? It's great.
Mm.
No, no.
For Pride, I think it needs a little more of this.
Hm.
Is that better? Hmm.
It's a different way to go.
Definitely more retro.
Ivan, , when a girl asks you if she looks "better," what she's really asking is do I look hot or not? Sure, you look great.
Hot as a jalapeno.
You're funny.
You're hopeless, but you're funny.
Muah! Thank you for the loaner.
So Helen and I just bought a place in the Jardins District in Sao Paulo.
You need to come visit.
Oh, um, a trip to Brazil? I think I can be talked into that.
Uh uh Who is that? Um, that's, uh That's Adam.
He's cute.
Mm.
You're hiding? What are you, four? Cas, I'm not hiding, I'm just I'm just processing.
Okay.
You've been holding out on me.
Who is this guy? He.
.
Hehe's He's just a guy.
And you like him.
No.
No.
He's totally not my type.
We're very, very different.
I mean, if Ethan is here, Adam is like all the way over there.
What, you think that's a bad thing? Erica.
Adam! Hey! Hey.
You made it.
How's the, uh How's the essay? Not great.
I got three paragraphs and they're shit.
Sorry, I'm Adam.
Cassidy.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Are you sure this is okay? You're not too busy? No, it's fine.
It'll, it'll, uh Just take a couple minutes.
Erica, really Take your time.
You can be brutal.
I can take it.
No, I mean, it's not bad It's just, um It's a little impersonal.
Impersonal.
Yeah, well, you keep listing, you know, what you know and what you've done, but you're not really revealing anything about yourself.
Okay, so tell me what you love about landscape design.
Mm um Well, I love that it's both an art, and a science.
Like, uh The science part is about solving problems.
Great! Uh, like? Bad grading, poor drainage, narrow lots.
But then there's art, you know? Like Looking at a big expanse of dirt and seeing what it could become.
That's the kind of thing I should be putting in, right? Mm-mm.
Right? Right.
Yeah.
Sorry, it's been a while since I wrote an essay.
No, it's okay.
It's totally it's fine.
And I mean it's always good to have someone else read it.
You're really good at this.
Writing essays No, at helping people.
No, you kicked my ass last weekend.
You're gonna make a great doctor.
Thanks.
Well, this should probably be enough to run with.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.
No, gosh, not at all.
- Here.
- Not at all.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Oh! Ah "Running away will never make you free.
" Kenny Loggins.
I'm not running away.
No? Okay, I'm running away.
But sometimes you're supposed to run away.
Erica.
What do you want me to say? Am I attracted to Adam? Yes.
Am I going to do anything about it? No.
And why not? Because it's clearly, it's a bad idea.
I mean, we're oil and water together, and he's completely different from me, and We're in group together.
Are you familiar with Freud's theory of personality? Um that's, uh, the The ego, and the superego, and the id.
Yes.
The id lives in our subconscious.
It is the force that drives our most primitive impulses.
And the The ego is the self, and the superego, it keeps the id in check.
Exactly.
You see, we spend most of our lives stopping ourselves from doing what we really want to do.
Which make sense; obviously, if everyone did whatever they wanted, my God, there'd be chaos.
You aren't gonna ask me to walk down Yonge Street naked, are you? Not unless you want to.
No.
But what I am gonna ask you to do is let today be your own personal inversion ritual.
- Really? - Really.
Today, Erica, I want you to follow all of your impulses, no matter how uncomfortable that they may make you.
Sounds terrifying.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the idea.
Yup.
Okay.
Have fun.
Oh! Sorry.
You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
All right.
I'll see ya in group.
Sounds good.
Oh! Sorry.
You okay? Are you sure you're all right? Uh-huh.
All right.
I'll see ya in group.
Adam? Um Why don't you, uh Why don't you stay and hang out for a bit? Okay.
Great.
Calling out around the world are you ready for a brand new beat summer's here and the time is right for dancing in the street they're dancing in Chicago Down in New Orleans In New York City Here, let me help you with that.
Yeah.
God, what are you doing, you freak? Thank you.
I really wanted to touch his muscles.
So I did.
Hey, sexy.
Wow.
That was a first.
I bet.
Uh, actually, this whole day is a first.
What, you've never been to Pride before? No.
Oh, hm Things change.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So how do you know Cassidy? Oh, she's an old friend.
Actually I used to have a crush on her.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean, she's pretty special.
She's She's smart and tough and interesting.
Too bad I'm straight though.
Right.
Find a guy like her and you'd be set.
Okay, I can't see the parade.
Do you wanna be my personal step ladder? Sure.
Hello? Hello? I brought my tools.
I'm in here, Gary.
Whoa.
I thought we were hanging a light fixture.
Oh, and some speakers for the stereo system.
Gary, this house is caught in a time warp and it needs a facelift.
Which is also why I'm painting the fireplace.
Here, look at the colour, tell me what you think? Oxblood Why're you looking at me like that? I'm not looking at you like anything.
You are.
You think I should leave it the way it is.
It's fine.
But But what? I know you're feeling restless, which is fine; makes sense given what you're going through.
Gary.
I know what I'm going through, which is precisely why I wanna do all this.
I've spent too long putting this stuff off.
So? Where do you want to hang the speakers? On the wall, by the kitchen doorway.
So? How's it going with Mr.
manly man? Oh, would you stop it.
Look, Adam, he is beyond not right for me, okay? Okay, if history proves anything, Erica, it's that you have no idea who's right for you.
What does that mean? Your problem, when it comes to men, is that you keep going after safe relationships where you have the power and you call the shots.
Now, that's not true.
Ethan.
That guy before him.
Ryan.
What you need is somebody strong.
You know, someone who can meet you where you are, someone who can challenge you.
Someone with balls.
I just want you to go after what you really want.
For once.
What I really want? Mm-hm.
Is those shoes, that dress, and ah! Come on, hey, where are you going? Five minutes! Looking for some hot stuff hey, guys.
Erica! What're you doing? She's, she's molting.
I I just You know, I I saw this in the store front back there, and I thought, well If I'm ever gonna dress up in public, today's, you know, today's the day to do it, so.
Go Pride! Um come on.
We're missing the parade.
Let's go! I'm gonna do that? Well, maybe someday.
I thought we'd start off with with the rock climbing equivalent of a bunny hill.
Over here.
Come on.
Okay, tell me what to do first.
All right, well, start with the harness.
Okay you wanna make sure that you got this on securely.
Okay.
I learned that the hard way, when I was, uh Climbing on Wye Creek in New Zealand a couple years back.
I fell 30 feet.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah.
Yeah, luckily, I just broke one ankle.
But still Okay So wow, New Zealand and Thailand? You get around.
Yeah, I try to.
Next trip, Brazil.
When's that? When I make save up enough money from cleaning up after you, Doctor Strangelove.
All right.
So to finish this off Mm-hm.
We'll tie down your leg.
Oh.
How's that? It's good.
- Yeah? All right.
- Yeah.
Samantha? Pam.
This is random.
Yeah.
Hi.
Uh, I'm Pam.
Sam and I went to Med school together.
Sorry.
This is Lenin.
He is teaching me rock climbing.
Oh.
Do you work here? No.
No, I work at the hospital.
Mm-hmm.
Damn, uh, where are my carabiners? Do you mind if? No, of course.
Okay, sorry.
I'll be right back.
Ooh, look at you back in the saddle.
Well, so how are things? Are you still at St.
Mike's? Sam, come on.
I wanna know everything.
So, you met at work? What's he do? Lenin? He's, um A general surgeon.
Like me.
God, why are the surgeons at St.
Mike's not that cute? Oh, there's my instructor.
Um, can we catch up when we have more time? Sounds good.
- Okay.
See you.
- Okay.
Bye.
They were in my knapsack.
Oh.
You ready? Totally.
I love Pride! Pocahontas! Come up here and dance with me.
Me? No, no thanks! Actually that looks like a lot of fun.
Adam, here! No way.
I can't go up there.
Yes you can.
Come on! Julianne, come on! No, Erica, Erica! Go, go! Cassidy! Cassidy, Dave and Ivan: Wooooo! Wooo! Oh yeah! wooo! Erica and Adam: Ahh what a day! Yeah.
Not how I expected to spend my weekend.
Dancing on a float? Another new experience.
Oh gosh! Sorry.
Careful.
Sorry.
You might wanna ditch those shoes.
Yeah.
Maybe we could just sit down for a sec.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I had a really great time today.
Me too.
Thanks for inviting me.
Erica Sorry.
I just I just had an impulse and I went for it and I'm sorry.
You don't need to apologize.
Ah I respect what you bring to group and I really enjoy spending time with you.
Me too.
I just don't think of you that way.
I'm sorry.
Uh, no.
Totally.
I get it.
Um Uh, we should probably catch up with the others, I think.
Actually, I think I'm just gonna head home.
Oh.
Sure.
'Kay.
See you in group? Yeah.
Okay.
Hey you.
Hey.
I thought you could use this.
All right.
Ugh.
It's strong.
Very.
That's the point.
I just, I I feel so humiliated.
You know? Yeah.
I know.
Because This is what it felt like when when you and me When you rejected me.
I am not saying that to make you feel badly, but, yeah, it sucks when you like someone and they don't like you back.
At least, they don't like you the same.
Ugh.
So drink up.
It'll numb the pain, at least for a while.
Whew! Oh hey, care bear, I'm just gonna pop back into the storage room to get more nachos.
Oh shoot.
Take a picture.
It lasts longer.
Oh my God! Oh, no, no, no.
I was supposed to get Here take this.
Ugh! Julianne! Oh Must teach Dave that move Ooh You're doing great, Sam.
You okay? First time? Yeah.
She's always wanted to try, and I've been climbing for years, so I thought I'd just show her the ropes.
It's funny.
You're like the fourth surgeon I know who climbs.
It's gotta have something to do with the rush we get.
We're all adrenaline junkies, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we are.
Dave! Can I get another one of these pretty purple drink thingies, please? Okay.
Let's catch up.
Definitely, let's catch up.
Okay.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
Enough.
Stop avoiding me.
Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Uh, yes.
Yes you do.
Okay, can we not discuss this? You caught Richard and Doug, my two hottest friends, going at it, and you liked what you saw.
I liked what I saw.
So what? So it's embarrassing.
Why? Because it is.
Okay? Okay, you, you might be all open and out of the closet, and you might've "come to terms" with your gayness.
Oh watching two guys have sex doesn't make you gay, Julianne.
Okay, I know that.
I'm just saying, you're used to weirdness.
I'm not.
Oh.
So being gay is weird.
No, that's not what I meant.
No, but that's what you said.
Happy Pride.
It's the green wire.
You see it? Yeah, yeah, I think I got it.
- Whoa.
- Oh.
So Do I just pull it out? Yes.
That would be great.
Barbara and Gary: Gary Do you still think I'm pretty? What? Now just look at me, and answer the question.
And don't lie, because I can always tell when you're lying.
Yes.
I still think you're pretty.
I never stopped thinking you were pretty.
Oh wow.
I'd like another penis colada.
'Kay Our little red-headed friend is cut off.
What? Come on.
Erica, honey, you smell like a distillery.
Oh And what are you, huh? My mother? My father? 'Cause you're not.
Erica, I just think- woof.
That's right, I woofed at you.
You big bear.
No-no-no-no, bah-bah-bah-bah, no, no, no.
I said no.
You, my dear, do not belong behind the bar.
Okay.
You can't make me.
No.
Erica, honey, come on.
Come on now.
I used, I used I used to dance on bars.
Relax, don't do it when you wanna come relax, don't do it I I was I was actually very entertaining.
Oh that's nice.
Oh my! Okay.
All right, get No, don't even think about it.
Hello.
- Don't touch it! - Mr.
penis.
Don't touch it! - Erica - So sparkly.
- Get off! - Sparkly Erica, get down off the bar! Off the bar.
No, Ivan, let go.
- Erica! - Ivan, let go! Ivan, let go of me! Let go of me! Don't touch that.
Gotta hit me Hit me Hit me with you laser beam You know, maybe Maybe nobody even saw the part where I was hugging it? Maybe they think that it just fell over on its own.
Just don't worry about it, okay? I just want you to come over here, on the couch, and try to sleep this off.
Oh Oh, Cassidy.
Oh, we should've just hung out on a patio, just you and me.
Yeah? And why's that? Because then we could have had a real visit.
And you could have avoided all of this, right? Yeah.
Erica, when you go after what you want, sometimes it works out, and sometimes It ends up with an ice penis being smashed to smithereens.
Oh God Now get some sleep.
You'll feel a lot better when you wake up.
Thanks, Cassidy.
Oh Look, um What I said before, it was awful and insensitive, and I know it's easy for me to say this now, but it wasn't what I meant.
At all.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, I "heart" the gays.
I'm in awe of you.
The way you You embrace who you are, and what you like.
There's such a freedom in that.
In theory.
But you'd be surprised how people still put you in a box.
How? Well, look at me and Dave.
We're not exactly gay poster boys.
Oh, whatever.
Dave's cute.
Dave's hot - he is to me.
And And what? Never mind.
Oh hello? Big sharing moment going on here.
And what? Well, you know how most people say that straight people are 10 percent gay? I kissed a girl once, in university.
See? Well, gay people also, sometimes, can be 10 percent straight.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm attracted to big hairy dudes most of the time, but I also sometimes find myself attracted to Slender blonde women.
Really? Yeah.
Well, I gotta Oh.
Yeah.
So is it normal for my forearms to feel like they're on fire? Yeah, yeah, you just need to use your legs more.
It's a beginner's mistake.
Oh.
I'll remember that for next time.
What? I'm just uh Checking to see if you're telling the truth.
You know, that you do actually want there to be a next time.
Of course I do.
Why wouldn't I? Why did you tell your friend I'm a surgeon? Lenin, I'm sorry.
There's no excuse, it just It came out of my mouth, I don't even know why.
You don't know why you just didn't tell her I'm a janitor? I don't care what you do for a living.
But you care that other people do.
Oh God, I feel like a jerk.
I'm shallow, and a snob.
I don't know why I care.
I don't wanna care.
I, I know it's stupid to care.
Hey, if you care, you care.
And I get it.
I'm a janitor, you're a surgeon - it's weird enough that we're friends.
Why are you being so nice? You should be mad at me.
Enh, there's no point.
Getting mad wouldn't change how you feel.
Well, how do you feel? How do I feel? I I like you.
Yeah, you're smart, funny, attractive.
You wouldn't want to come in for a sandwich, would you? I'm starving.
I would love a sandwich.
Yeah? Yes! I can't believe we just did that.
I hope we didn't just make a huge mistake.
No.
Okay, I need a glass of water.
I need to find my pants.
Mom? You home? I brought- Oh my God.
Come in! So We're gonna head out.
But I just wanted to Say goodbye and make sure you don't feel weird about, you know, what I said before.
Ivan, you're not the first gay man to be "into" me.
Oh.
So we're cool then? Yeah, we're cool.
Oh, I just have one question for you.
You know, before, I told you that I kissed a girl.
I mean, have you ever kissed, or um, maybe, maybe more? Kissed, yes, when I was a teenager.
But more than that? No.
Hm.
Well, just given your "homo-flexibility," aren't you at all curious? Definitely.
I mean, when you were standing there in your bra, I was Hoo, anyway, we-we should We shouldn't be talking about this.
No-no-no-no-no-no, tell me.
You were what? Um It's just I've always wondered about breasts.
You know, what they'd feel like.
Guys don't have them.
Dave kinda does.
It's a joke.
Okay, go ahead.
What? No?! What? Oh, come on.
It's no big deal.
No.
Here.
Okay, that's enough.
Yes, that is.
Ivan? What's the security code again? I'll be right there.
Thank you, Julianne.
Okay, sure.
See you later.
Hm.
- It is the most powerful force on earth; the seed from which everything begins.
Ah It upends the best laid plans; See ya.
It challenges who we think we are; it defies what we think we need.
I was hoping to run into you.
It's a beautiful night.
After a crazy day.
How was it? Oh, I don't know about my id, but my ego, it's pretty bruised.
I'm just glad it's over.
You know, there's only so much ritual inversion a girl can take.
Well, you followed your impulses today and that led you to have some new experiences.
Like being rejected.
Let me tell you, that was a lot of fun.
Erica, do you know what lies at the root of impulse? Stupidity? No.
Do, desire.
Desire, it's the fuel that drives us, right.
I mean, it's at the core of who we are, and yet, from our very earliest days, we're taught to control it.
To suppress it.
Well, to banish it.
But sometimes a little inversion That could be a good thing.
How is what happened today a good thing? Well, because you were brave and you were truthful and you didn't second guess or censor yourself.
You said, this is me, this is what I feel, and this what I want And you let the chips fall where they may.
It's gonna be awkward with Adam.
What? It is.
Well maybe.
Or maybe Adam is just like you, and just like me, just like everybody else.
He's just walking around all day stopping himself from feeling what he's feeling, and wanting what he wants.
What're you saying? I'm just saying that this story, like any story, has to play itself out.
That's all.
And not you, or I, or anybody else can tell us where that's gonna end.
Good night, Erica Strange.