Casual (2015) s03e06 Episode Script
Troubleshooting
1 Previously, on "Casual" - Got an interview.
- Ooh.
Some new company in digital branding.
And, as Chief Technology Officer, I would, what? - Head up the development team? - The CTO is more of, um, - an IT professional.
- Yeah.
You want me to be the guy who tells you how to restart your computer? Hey, there.
Got a minute to stick it to the oligarchy? You don't think maybe the people backing this initiative have a less than philanthropic agenda? The Clean Renewables Institute? It's a group of rich old men who want to sell natural gas.
I'm always looking for interns.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Jack Briggs.
He can sustain a relationship about as long as he could probably hold a boom box over his head.
I just don't wanna see you get hurt.
- Do you find me attractive? - I do.
Do you think you can have sex with someone you find attractive, no strings attached? [squeaking.]
[car door slams.]
[car door slams.]
[car beeps.]
- Hey, could you pass the milk? - Yeah.
All right.
Did you know you have three cartons of eggs, and the oldest carton is, like, four months old, and there's only one egg in it? Eggs don't spoil.
So do I ask why you're in costume, or do you just tell me? Yeah, it's my alter ego, Tybalt, a medieval Scandinavian sorcerer.
- Right.
- [exclaims.]
- Of course.
- [chuckles.]
Oh, wait, shit, it's your first day.
- Yep.
- Are you nervous? - I'd be nervous.
- Nervous? No.
I'm so fucking nervous.
I haven't been a wage slave since my 20s.
Do you think they'll haze me? No, I'm sure they'll just stick to pre-formed social groups and subtly isolate you.
Thank you, that's helpful.
- Yeah.
- What do we have here? Ah, "Magic: The Gathering.
" Bunch of friends are coming over to play cards.
And you wear costumes for this game? No, I just love costumes.
Bah! - [door bell chimes.]
- Oh, will you grab that? Tybalt here? RAE: Aha! BOTH: [laugh.]
[exclaiming.]
[phone buzzes.]
Good morning.
Leon, you're not gonna believe this, but I need your help.
What seems to be the problem? ALEX: You sounds weird.
Why do you sound weird? Are you happy? Of course not.
Oh, okay, do you think you could watch my house - for the day? - Why? ALEX: Rae is hosting a costume party.
There are multiple strangers with foam weaponry tramping around my living room.
ALL: [chanting.]
Fireball, fireball, fireball, fireball! ALEX: They're chanting.
GAME PLAYERS: [exclaiming.]
Mm.
Here, that still needs to be canvassed.
So I'm going to have you do this.
And Jim made copies of all the names, and then we'll just Laura? Casey warned us.
Said she poached you from the bowels of corporate corruption? Yeah, cut the golden parachute right off my back.
Well, come on.
I'll show you around.
No, that can't work.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
She's been working the phones since 6:00.
It's unclear whether she eats or sleeps or just absorbs energy from the lies of elected officials.
I'm Todd, by the way.
Everyone calls me Harvard.
- You call yourself Harvard.
- All right, Katrina.
All right, Laura, field team.
Field team, Laura.
- Hey.
- Hi.
So how much did Casey tell you? Not much, but I'm a quick study.
Cool, we're canvassing on West Adams.
There's a big community meeting tonight.
Signatures? - What? - Nothing.
Let's do it.
I've given up beer and liquor and caffeine for this baby.
I'm not giving up Equinox.
You really want to die on this sword? This is where you're gonna take a stand? - Alyssa, I think we - What stand? - [thud.]
- Exercise is a basic human right.
[muffled angry voices.]
He's not taking any of this seriously.
It's like I'm just this overactive, hormonal baby capsule that hasn't had sex in 12 days.
Maybe if I got to work out, I'd feel better about myself.
- Oh.
- And then, by extension, be more likely to have sex with you.
Fine, go to fucking Equinox.
[thud.]
What was that howling? Are you fucking a barista named Theo? His name is Theo? Mm-hmm, and his girlfriend is not happy about it.
Girlfriend? Ah, shit.
She seemed like a real nut case.
I thought I was gonna have to take my rings off and thrown down, but she took off before shit got real.
Uh, have you ever actually been in a real fistfight? Multiple, I am 25% white trash on my father's side.
- [door opens.]
- Jesus, Leia.
Hey, is everything okay? I heard some screaming in here.
Oh, yeah, Val just has a lady stalker.
Yeah, apparently I'm fucking her boyfriend.
Whoa, clearly we have some catching up to do.
Do you want to get a drink later? Hell yeah, I do.
- Great.
- I'm done at 5:30, okay? - Okay.
- I love those boots.
Thank you.
She loves the boots.
You're doing a noble thing.
Your pen is mighty, sir.
We'll see you at 7:00.
- Yeah, 0%.
- 0%? 40%.
35%? That guy would've signed up for ballet class if it got us off his stoop.
- [laughs.]
- There's no way he shows.
Erin Brockovich over here.
You can't force people to care.
About the environment? No, most things.
Definitely not the environment.
I'm killing your philanthropy buzz, - aren't I? - Oh, come on, we're on a signature beat.
My buzz is real weak.
Well, look at it like this it's something - for your college apps.
- If I even want to go to college.
Ooh, rebel, rebel.
Yep, I've even got a bad tattoo.
I love a bad tattoo.
All right 2267 is next.
How many more of these do we have? Sigh, heavy sigh.
Saya, call Nat about L'Oreal.
She's contracted with them before.
She can get you the numbers.
Oh, and Beckett, I need to see the Chance deal before it's signed off.
Oh, oh, my God, perfect.
Everyone, meet Alex Cole, new CTO.
- Hello.
- Let's give him a warm welcome.
[applause.]
Thank you, thank you, glad to be a part of the team.
Well, you have big shoes to fill, but I have faith.
Our last IT guy, Erik, was like family to us.
It's been hard.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
Did he die? [laughter.]
He went to Google.
- Ah.
- He's doing really great.
He's leading a team of 12, and he's really, really happy and fulfilled.
Aww.
- Cool.
- And he sent cookies.
- Oh, he is so sweet.
- Erik.
There's a gluten-free, dairy-free one for you.
Erik wasn't sure if you had any dietary restrictions.
Wow, how considerate.
Anyway, um, if you don't mind hitting the ground running, Saya, you're having issues with your computer, yeah? It's got that spin-y wheel of death, and I can't get online.
Right, this is probably a minimum speed issue, and I will go take a look.
Okay, let's try something else.
Oh, wow, that's pretty.
Is that Hawaii? Yeah, Oahu.
"The Gathering Place," that's what Oahu means in Hawaiian.
I know.
Both my parents were born there.
So what do you think's wrong? Um, still in the diagnostic phase.
Erik maintained a minimum upload speed of 248 megs per second on our servers, so I know it's not that.
Oh, wait, I have an idea.
Wait, don't Ugh, yeah, that takes 20 minutes to reload.
A bad idea.
Hmm.
- [phone ringing.]
- I need to get that.
Can you do this from your desk? Oh, yeah, um, yeah, I need to get a part anyway A part? [phone ringing.]
Getting a real Buffalo Bill vibe here.
[groans.]
Fuck, is it hot.
Here.
[laughs.]
Thank you.
- I want coffee.
- Me too.
What's nearby? My place.
Bad teacher.
What about the other houses? I do like coffee.
[bell dings.]
[exhales.]
How was that for timing? [indistinct chatter.]
- Honestly, it's inspiring.
- Totally.
To just pick up and start fresh like that? We'll probably work for him someday.
- As soon as he asks, I'm there.
- To Erik.
The fucking best of us.
[sighs.]
- [phone vibrating.]
- Sorry, sorry, hold on.
- Hello? - ALEX: Leon, what's happening? Are those wizards behaving? I'm, uh, keeping them in line.
You're a lifesaver, you know that? You're a true friend.
- Any time.
- RAIN: Leon! Cunning Breezedancer up in yo' shit! Equipped and breathing fire.
[all whooping.]
What is that? Gotta run.
- JUDY: Hi.
- Hey.
I'm Judy.
Sorry we didn't get to meet this morning.
Alex.
Can you join me in my office for a minute? [sighs.]
We are a relatively new company.
And we're still figuring things out.
For instance, I'm the COO, but for some reason, now I have to deal with HR complaints.
- I'm sorry? - It's fine.
It's your first day a little culture shock it normal.
Digital branding, not ISIS.
Hm.
Did you "huff away angrily" when a coworker questioned your competence? No.
I stepped away to do some troubleshooting.
Is this about that Oahu thing? 'Cause I was just trying to be nice.
Also, is it offensive to not know where someone's parents are from? Is that, like, a micro-aggression? 'Cause I certainly didn't mean it that way.
She didn't mention the Oahu thing.
Please just try to be patient and positive, okay? I hear your note.
And I note it.
Thank you.
And hey, don't drive yourself crazy.
No one expects you to replace Erik on day one.
Okay? Thank you.
Oh, God, no, I really should have called you.
If I had known what I was missing I mean, look at you.
You feel so loose and just good.
Well, these are the perks of an identity crisis.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
I want an identity crisis.
Have you tried killing your father and then finding out that your father's not your real father? No, no, but I did almost cut my bangs.
- What? - I know! Okay, you're gonna wanna sleep on that.
Um, are we do for another bottle? I-I would.
Just I'm sort of training for a marathon.
- You're sort of training? - God.
That was so obnoxious.
I'm definitely training for a marathon.
Penance for my privilege.
Uh, okay, that's fine.
I'll just Keep my dignity and continue drinking in my bathtub.
- Good for you.
- Oh, my God.
You're so old.
From afar, I was like, okay, she's cute.
But up close? You don't have crow's feet.
You have crow's face.
- Who is this? - I, um I think this is the girlfriend.
Yeah, I'm the girlfriend, bitch.
- Whoa, okay.
- No one's talking to you.
What happened to girl code? Girl code? Okay.
He didn't tell me he had a girlfriend, so.
- I think that's on him, right? - That's totally on him.
Yeah, I guess it explains why we fucked in the car.
- Fucking look at me! - Stop yelling.
Okay, go yell at your boyfriend, not me.
I don't know you.
We don't know each other.
Also, girl code? Really? Did you see who we elected as president? The code is cracked.
Enigma has fallen.
You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you? [Jennifer laughs.]
[laughter.]
Wow.
Um Hi, yes, no, we'll definitely need another bottle, please.
- Look at you.
- [laughing.]
Not much of a turnout.
We did what we could.
But hey, you should come by later.
I'll make espresso.
Well, this is an unmitigated fucking disaster.
- It was rough out there.
- I mean, six people? I thought we were making inroads.
It's summer.
A lot of people are out of town.
God, José Malick and Peg Danow didn't even sign? Did they say why? I don't think so.
I can't remember.
Can you? No, no.
It's just too many people to keep straight.
Todd, let's talk.
- Boo! Mm-mm.
- What? - Thumbs down! - No, no, no, no! - Thumbs way up! - No.
Men should not wax down there.
Are you kidding? - Uh, no.
- There's just too many flaps.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you fucking Aquaman? - Flaps? - Not flaps.
Folds.
I feel like I'm looking at a naked old fisherman - with a little beanie.
- Oh, my God! Oh, the image! Oh, I can't unsee it.
Oh, my God.
Did I tell you I fucking miss you? - Aww.
- I'm saying fucking so much.
I think I am officially drunk.
I do, I fucking miss you.
- I fucking miss you too.
- You know what we need to do? - What? - Is another dinner party.
- A game night, something.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes? - Anything.
Okay, great, we will I'll replace Jack.
Oh, come on.
Are you kidding? I'd be fine.
I'm not worried about you.
- You're not worried about me? - Oh.
I find that kinda hard to believe.
Okay - What.
- Mm.
- What? - Sorry, I'm trying to decide how discerning I should be about this, but apparently just not at all.
Jack is a sex addict.
And he is in recovery, or on the wagon, or whatever.
- But that's the fact.
- Whoa.
That's why I tried to warn you off of him in the first place.
No, I get it.
I Get it, yeah.
- Thank you.
- Fuck it.
- I mean, you're an adult.
- Mm-hmm.
- He's an adult.
- I am an adult.
You're an adult, and you're really good at gaming.
- I am.
So game night.
- Game night.
- We shall play.
- Yes! I want to play this game night.
I want to order French fries.
[quirky music.]
Hey, are you okay? I just got fired.
For missing a few houses? For fucking you.
Do you think I need protection? - Sorry.
- We're adults.
If you're gonna fire him, then fire me too.
Todd was your direct supervisor.
He removed you from your post and took advantage of you.
Oh, my God, I feel like I'm in a bad Lifetime rape movie.
He did not take advantage of me.
I wanted something, and he gave it to me.
An older guy, an adult, in a position of power.
I mean, that's predatory.
- If you can't see that - Whatever.
Yeah, I guess I'll just find somewhere else to do free work.
[laughter.]
Hey, sorry.
Kinda turned into a bender.
It's fine.
Gonna go eat this pizza and think about obsolescence.
- That bad, huh? - You know, I can't even fix a VPN.
It's fucking embarrassing.
- Who's your provider? - Nord.
- Open or PPTP? - PPTP.
Oh, there's your problem.
PPTP sucks.
Download Viscosity and go Open.
Rain's an IT wizard.
Like, literally.
Doomslayer too.
- Where do you work? - Enframe.
Oh, snap.
You replaced Erik Tripplethorpe? Fucking Google, man.
You gotta download his book, man.
- "Insight" is amazing.
- Of course he's got a book.
- Series of e-readers - Shhh.
[mumbles.]
[keyboard clacking.]
[phone chimes.]
[indistinct chatter.]
- You think this will do it? - I think it will, yes.
I've got, like, 13 contracts that need entering.
- Big contracts.
- I know that, I understand.
And I'm doing everything I can to get you there.
It's just, it's taking an awfully long time.
Okay, Saya, that's, unfortunately, not something I can control.
SAYA: The bar has literally stopped moving.
- It's frozen.
- God damn it.
God fucking damn it.
How did you even get this job? Are you someone's retarded cousin? Oh, I just said the R-word.
Maybe I should just call Erik.
Fine! Call him.
Call him.
Call Erik.
See if I fucking care.
I'm just the IT guy, right? It's not like I have feelings.
Or pride or anything resembling human emotion.
God! [computer pings.]
It's working now.
See? I fixed it.
I like the I like the stubble beard thing.
- Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Cool.
You know, I wanted to reach out to you too, actually.
- To apologize.
- Oh, don't worry about it.
No, no, the birthday party was that was - Oh.
- And your dad.
- I-I should apologize.
- No, really, it's I - I should be apologizing to you.
- For what? Well, I didn't know what you were going through.
And I guess I just thought I don't know what I thought.
About what? Well, your sex addition.
Well, that is not what I expected.
And I don't really like being defined by that label, but okay.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just Are you not an addict? There are times in my life when sex plays a bigger role than it probably should, and when that happens, I scale back or abstain.
That's That's all.
Are you abstaining now? - I am.
- Mm.
For how long? Since you.
- Should we order? - Uh-huh.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How 'bout that espresso? [elevator dings.]
Hey.
So you had lunch with Jack.
Yeah.
And you told him what I told you? I guess I did.
He's my friend, Val.
He's pissed.
What the fuck? I just got I'm so sorry.
I just I-I didn't think it was that big a deal, and then It just slipped out.
How does something like that just slip out? It just did.
Just I, um we were having lunch.
It was really awkward.
Um You know what? It's fine.
It was my fault.
[gasping.]
Hey, can we just shift and No.
Don't move.
Don't move.
- HARVARD: What the fuck? - I don't like it like that.
Well, you didn't seem to mind before.
Well, now I do.
ALEX: IT guy, right? It's not like I have feelings.
Or pride, or anything resembling a human emotion! God! God! [growls.]
That's excessive.
And well edited.
- You are not good at this job.
- I'm really not.
What are you doing here? I have friends who use Snooger.
It's a great app.
Nobody leaves that to work IT.
Look, I'm 36 years old.
I'm out of money.
I'm keeping a horrible secret from my sister.
I'm living alone.
Actually, that's not true.
I have a cosplaying roommate who's been here for two weeks and already has more friends than me.
You know, it's funny.
When things are going well, you never think about it.
It's just normal.
But when things are bad, it's, like, every minute you spend thinking about how things used to be, and how you wish you'd appreciated it more.
I'm sorry.
That was sentimental and embarrassing.
It's okay.
I totally get it.
Nobody's perfect.
Except, apparently, for Erik.
Oh, I couldn't stand Erik.
He signed his emails, "Have a blessed day.
" No.
Gross.
And I can't prove it, though, I firmly believe he was hosting gigabytes gigabytes of anime porn torrents on our server.
You're blowing my mind right now.
Look, I can't go through the process of hiring another IT guy.
Interviewing those freaks was insufferable.
So.
Please.
Take a class or something and learn how to do this job.
And no more temper tantrums at work.
I have a nine-year-old at home.
I get enough of that shit already.
Understood.
Oh.
Have a blessed day.
Get out.
[microwave beeps.]
[phone chimes.]
[chuckles.]
["Moonstruck" by Sinkane.]
MAN: Each night, outside of Lowlands Walking home alone - I know which side that I'm on - Confused, we look up, doubting what's our song - Yet alone, without a song of our own - Assumed you'd come and show me but I learned soon you don't even come outside on your own No, you don't, you don't even come outside RAE: Hey, finally.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
MAN: No, we don't, we don't even got a song - RAE: Oh, damn.
- LEON: Come on.
- ALEX: Can I play this? - RAE: You can keep that.
- And then turn those over.
- I don't wanna hear it, Leon.
- Turn those over.
- I see your fox.
- And I raise you a lord - No, you're not.
You don't know what you're doing yet.
- So just wait.
- All right.
[all chattering and laughing.]
MAN: Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime Your face And pull Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime
- Ooh.
Some new company in digital branding.
And, as Chief Technology Officer, I would, what? - Head up the development team? - The CTO is more of, um, - an IT professional.
- Yeah.
You want me to be the guy who tells you how to restart your computer? Hey, there.
Got a minute to stick it to the oligarchy? You don't think maybe the people backing this initiative have a less than philanthropic agenda? The Clean Renewables Institute? It's a group of rich old men who want to sell natural gas.
I'm always looking for interns.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Jack Briggs.
He can sustain a relationship about as long as he could probably hold a boom box over his head.
I just don't wanna see you get hurt.
- Do you find me attractive? - I do.
Do you think you can have sex with someone you find attractive, no strings attached? [squeaking.]
[car door slams.]
[car door slams.]
[car beeps.]
- Hey, could you pass the milk? - Yeah.
All right.
Did you know you have three cartons of eggs, and the oldest carton is, like, four months old, and there's only one egg in it? Eggs don't spoil.
So do I ask why you're in costume, or do you just tell me? Yeah, it's my alter ego, Tybalt, a medieval Scandinavian sorcerer.
- Right.
- [exclaims.]
- Of course.
- [chuckles.]
Oh, wait, shit, it's your first day.
- Yep.
- Are you nervous? - I'd be nervous.
- Nervous? No.
I'm so fucking nervous.
I haven't been a wage slave since my 20s.
Do you think they'll haze me? No, I'm sure they'll just stick to pre-formed social groups and subtly isolate you.
Thank you, that's helpful.
- Yeah.
- What do we have here? Ah, "Magic: The Gathering.
" Bunch of friends are coming over to play cards.
And you wear costumes for this game? No, I just love costumes.
Bah! - [door bell chimes.]
- Oh, will you grab that? Tybalt here? RAE: Aha! BOTH: [laugh.]
[exclaiming.]
[phone buzzes.]
Good morning.
Leon, you're not gonna believe this, but I need your help.
What seems to be the problem? ALEX: You sounds weird.
Why do you sound weird? Are you happy? Of course not.
Oh, okay, do you think you could watch my house - for the day? - Why? ALEX: Rae is hosting a costume party.
There are multiple strangers with foam weaponry tramping around my living room.
ALL: [chanting.]
Fireball, fireball, fireball, fireball! ALEX: They're chanting.
GAME PLAYERS: [exclaiming.]
Mm.
Here, that still needs to be canvassed.
So I'm going to have you do this.
And Jim made copies of all the names, and then we'll just Laura? Casey warned us.
Said she poached you from the bowels of corporate corruption? Yeah, cut the golden parachute right off my back.
Well, come on.
I'll show you around.
No, that can't work.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
She's been working the phones since 6:00.
It's unclear whether she eats or sleeps or just absorbs energy from the lies of elected officials.
I'm Todd, by the way.
Everyone calls me Harvard.
- You call yourself Harvard.
- All right, Katrina.
All right, Laura, field team.
Field team, Laura.
- Hey.
- Hi.
So how much did Casey tell you? Not much, but I'm a quick study.
Cool, we're canvassing on West Adams.
There's a big community meeting tonight.
Signatures? - What? - Nothing.
Let's do it.
I've given up beer and liquor and caffeine for this baby.
I'm not giving up Equinox.
You really want to die on this sword? This is where you're gonna take a stand? - Alyssa, I think we - What stand? - [thud.]
- Exercise is a basic human right.
[muffled angry voices.]
He's not taking any of this seriously.
It's like I'm just this overactive, hormonal baby capsule that hasn't had sex in 12 days.
Maybe if I got to work out, I'd feel better about myself.
- Oh.
- And then, by extension, be more likely to have sex with you.
Fine, go to fucking Equinox.
[thud.]
What was that howling? Are you fucking a barista named Theo? His name is Theo? Mm-hmm, and his girlfriend is not happy about it.
Girlfriend? Ah, shit.
She seemed like a real nut case.
I thought I was gonna have to take my rings off and thrown down, but she took off before shit got real.
Uh, have you ever actually been in a real fistfight? Multiple, I am 25% white trash on my father's side.
- [door opens.]
- Jesus, Leia.
Hey, is everything okay? I heard some screaming in here.
Oh, yeah, Val just has a lady stalker.
Yeah, apparently I'm fucking her boyfriend.
Whoa, clearly we have some catching up to do.
Do you want to get a drink later? Hell yeah, I do.
- Great.
- I'm done at 5:30, okay? - Okay.
- I love those boots.
Thank you.
She loves the boots.
You're doing a noble thing.
Your pen is mighty, sir.
We'll see you at 7:00.
- Yeah, 0%.
- 0%? 40%.
35%? That guy would've signed up for ballet class if it got us off his stoop.
- [laughs.]
- There's no way he shows.
Erin Brockovich over here.
You can't force people to care.
About the environment? No, most things.
Definitely not the environment.
I'm killing your philanthropy buzz, - aren't I? - Oh, come on, we're on a signature beat.
My buzz is real weak.
Well, look at it like this it's something - for your college apps.
- If I even want to go to college.
Ooh, rebel, rebel.
Yep, I've even got a bad tattoo.
I love a bad tattoo.
All right 2267 is next.
How many more of these do we have? Sigh, heavy sigh.
Saya, call Nat about L'Oreal.
She's contracted with them before.
She can get you the numbers.
Oh, and Beckett, I need to see the Chance deal before it's signed off.
Oh, oh, my God, perfect.
Everyone, meet Alex Cole, new CTO.
- Hello.
- Let's give him a warm welcome.
[applause.]
Thank you, thank you, glad to be a part of the team.
Well, you have big shoes to fill, but I have faith.
Our last IT guy, Erik, was like family to us.
It's been hard.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
Did he die? [laughter.]
He went to Google.
- Ah.
- He's doing really great.
He's leading a team of 12, and he's really, really happy and fulfilled.
Aww.
- Cool.
- And he sent cookies.
- Oh, he is so sweet.
- Erik.
There's a gluten-free, dairy-free one for you.
Erik wasn't sure if you had any dietary restrictions.
Wow, how considerate.
Anyway, um, if you don't mind hitting the ground running, Saya, you're having issues with your computer, yeah? It's got that spin-y wheel of death, and I can't get online.
Right, this is probably a minimum speed issue, and I will go take a look.
Okay, let's try something else.
Oh, wow, that's pretty.
Is that Hawaii? Yeah, Oahu.
"The Gathering Place," that's what Oahu means in Hawaiian.
I know.
Both my parents were born there.
So what do you think's wrong? Um, still in the diagnostic phase.
Erik maintained a minimum upload speed of 248 megs per second on our servers, so I know it's not that.
Oh, wait, I have an idea.
Wait, don't Ugh, yeah, that takes 20 minutes to reload.
A bad idea.
Hmm.
- [phone ringing.]
- I need to get that.
Can you do this from your desk? Oh, yeah, um, yeah, I need to get a part anyway A part? [phone ringing.]
Getting a real Buffalo Bill vibe here.
[groans.]
Fuck, is it hot.
Here.
[laughs.]
Thank you.
- I want coffee.
- Me too.
What's nearby? My place.
Bad teacher.
What about the other houses? I do like coffee.
[bell dings.]
[exhales.]
How was that for timing? [indistinct chatter.]
- Honestly, it's inspiring.
- Totally.
To just pick up and start fresh like that? We'll probably work for him someday.
- As soon as he asks, I'm there.
- To Erik.
The fucking best of us.
[sighs.]
- [phone vibrating.]
- Sorry, sorry, hold on.
- Hello? - ALEX: Leon, what's happening? Are those wizards behaving? I'm, uh, keeping them in line.
You're a lifesaver, you know that? You're a true friend.
- Any time.
- RAIN: Leon! Cunning Breezedancer up in yo' shit! Equipped and breathing fire.
[all whooping.]
What is that? Gotta run.
- JUDY: Hi.
- Hey.
I'm Judy.
Sorry we didn't get to meet this morning.
Alex.
Can you join me in my office for a minute? [sighs.]
We are a relatively new company.
And we're still figuring things out.
For instance, I'm the COO, but for some reason, now I have to deal with HR complaints.
- I'm sorry? - It's fine.
It's your first day a little culture shock it normal.
Digital branding, not ISIS.
Hm.
Did you "huff away angrily" when a coworker questioned your competence? No.
I stepped away to do some troubleshooting.
Is this about that Oahu thing? 'Cause I was just trying to be nice.
Also, is it offensive to not know where someone's parents are from? Is that, like, a micro-aggression? 'Cause I certainly didn't mean it that way.
She didn't mention the Oahu thing.
Please just try to be patient and positive, okay? I hear your note.
And I note it.
Thank you.
And hey, don't drive yourself crazy.
No one expects you to replace Erik on day one.
Okay? Thank you.
Oh, God, no, I really should have called you.
If I had known what I was missing I mean, look at you.
You feel so loose and just good.
Well, these are the perks of an identity crisis.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
I want an identity crisis.
Have you tried killing your father and then finding out that your father's not your real father? No, no, but I did almost cut my bangs.
- What? - I know! Okay, you're gonna wanna sleep on that.
Um, are we do for another bottle? I-I would.
Just I'm sort of training for a marathon.
- You're sort of training? - God.
That was so obnoxious.
I'm definitely training for a marathon.
Penance for my privilege.
Uh, okay, that's fine.
I'll just Keep my dignity and continue drinking in my bathtub.
- Good for you.
- Oh, my God.
You're so old.
From afar, I was like, okay, she's cute.
But up close? You don't have crow's feet.
You have crow's face.
- Who is this? - I, um I think this is the girlfriend.
Yeah, I'm the girlfriend, bitch.
- Whoa, okay.
- No one's talking to you.
What happened to girl code? Girl code? Okay.
He didn't tell me he had a girlfriend, so.
- I think that's on him, right? - That's totally on him.
Yeah, I guess it explains why we fucked in the car.
- Fucking look at me! - Stop yelling.
Okay, go yell at your boyfriend, not me.
I don't know you.
We don't know each other.
Also, girl code? Really? Did you see who we elected as president? The code is cracked.
Enigma has fallen.
You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you? [Jennifer laughs.]
[laughter.]
Wow.
Um Hi, yes, no, we'll definitely need another bottle, please.
- Look at you.
- [laughing.]
Not much of a turnout.
We did what we could.
But hey, you should come by later.
I'll make espresso.
Well, this is an unmitigated fucking disaster.
- It was rough out there.
- I mean, six people? I thought we were making inroads.
It's summer.
A lot of people are out of town.
God, José Malick and Peg Danow didn't even sign? Did they say why? I don't think so.
I can't remember.
Can you? No, no.
It's just too many people to keep straight.
Todd, let's talk.
- Boo! Mm-mm.
- What? - Thumbs down! - No, no, no, no! - Thumbs way up! - No.
Men should not wax down there.
Are you kidding? - Uh, no.
- There's just too many flaps.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you fucking Aquaman? - Flaps? - Not flaps.
Folds.
I feel like I'm looking at a naked old fisherman - with a little beanie.
- Oh, my God! Oh, the image! Oh, I can't unsee it.
Oh, my God.
Did I tell you I fucking miss you? - Aww.
- I'm saying fucking so much.
I think I am officially drunk.
I do, I fucking miss you.
- I fucking miss you too.
- You know what we need to do? - What? - Is another dinner party.
- A game night, something.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes? - Anything.
Okay, great, we will I'll replace Jack.
Oh, come on.
Are you kidding? I'd be fine.
I'm not worried about you.
- You're not worried about me? - Oh.
I find that kinda hard to believe.
Okay - What.
- Mm.
- What? - Sorry, I'm trying to decide how discerning I should be about this, but apparently just not at all.
Jack is a sex addict.
And he is in recovery, or on the wagon, or whatever.
- But that's the fact.
- Whoa.
That's why I tried to warn you off of him in the first place.
No, I get it.
I Get it, yeah.
- Thank you.
- Fuck it.
- I mean, you're an adult.
- Mm-hmm.
- He's an adult.
- I am an adult.
You're an adult, and you're really good at gaming.
- I am.
So game night.
- Game night.
- We shall play.
- Yes! I want to play this game night.
I want to order French fries.
[quirky music.]
Hey, are you okay? I just got fired.
For missing a few houses? For fucking you.
Do you think I need protection? - Sorry.
- We're adults.
If you're gonna fire him, then fire me too.
Todd was your direct supervisor.
He removed you from your post and took advantage of you.
Oh, my God, I feel like I'm in a bad Lifetime rape movie.
He did not take advantage of me.
I wanted something, and he gave it to me.
An older guy, an adult, in a position of power.
I mean, that's predatory.
- If you can't see that - Whatever.
Yeah, I guess I'll just find somewhere else to do free work.
[laughter.]
Hey, sorry.
Kinda turned into a bender.
It's fine.
Gonna go eat this pizza and think about obsolescence.
- That bad, huh? - You know, I can't even fix a VPN.
It's fucking embarrassing.
- Who's your provider? - Nord.
- Open or PPTP? - PPTP.
Oh, there's your problem.
PPTP sucks.
Download Viscosity and go Open.
Rain's an IT wizard.
Like, literally.
Doomslayer too.
- Where do you work? - Enframe.
Oh, snap.
You replaced Erik Tripplethorpe? Fucking Google, man.
You gotta download his book, man.
- "Insight" is amazing.
- Of course he's got a book.
- Series of e-readers - Shhh.
[mumbles.]
[keyboard clacking.]
[phone chimes.]
[indistinct chatter.]
- You think this will do it? - I think it will, yes.
I've got, like, 13 contracts that need entering.
- Big contracts.
- I know that, I understand.
And I'm doing everything I can to get you there.
It's just, it's taking an awfully long time.
Okay, Saya, that's, unfortunately, not something I can control.
SAYA: The bar has literally stopped moving.
- It's frozen.
- God damn it.
God fucking damn it.
How did you even get this job? Are you someone's retarded cousin? Oh, I just said the R-word.
Maybe I should just call Erik.
Fine! Call him.
Call him.
Call Erik.
See if I fucking care.
I'm just the IT guy, right? It's not like I have feelings.
Or pride or anything resembling human emotion.
God! [computer pings.]
It's working now.
See? I fixed it.
I like the I like the stubble beard thing.
- Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Cool.
You know, I wanted to reach out to you too, actually.
- To apologize.
- Oh, don't worry about it.
No, no, the birthday party was that was - Oh.
- And your dad.
- I-I should apologize.
- No, really, it's I - I should be apologizing to you.
- For what? Well, I didn't know what you were going through.
And I guess I just thought I don't know what I thought.
About what? Well, your sex addition.
Well, that is not what I expected.
And I don't really like being defined by that label, but okay.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just Are you not an addict? There are times in my life when sex plays a bigger role than it probably should, and when that happens, I scale back or abstain.
That's That's all.
Are you abstaining now? - I am.
- Mm.
For how long? Since you.
- Should we order? - Uh-huh.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How 'bout that espresso? [elevator dings.]
Hey.
So you had lunch with Jack.
Yeah.
And you told him what I told you? I guess I did.
He's my friend, Val.
He's pissed.
What the fuck? I just got I'm so sorry.
I just I-I didn't think it was that big a deal, and then It just slipped out.
How does something like that just slip out? It just did.
Just I, um we were having lunch.
It was really awkward.
Um You know what? It's fine.
It was my fault.
[gasping.]
Hey, can we just shift and No.
Don't move.
Don't move.
- HARVARD: What the fuck? - I don't like it like that.
Well, you didn't seem to mind before.
Well, now I do.
ALEX: IT guy, right? It's not like I have feelings.
Or pride, or anything resembling a human emotion! God! God! [growls.]
That's excessive.
And well edited.
- You are not good at this job.
- I'm really not.
What are you doing here? I have friends who use Snooger.
It's a great app.
Nobody leaves that to work IT.
Look, I'm 36 years old.
I'm out of money.
I'm keeping a horrible secret from my sister.
I'm living alone.
Actually, that's not true.
I have a cosplaying roommate who's been here for two weeks and already has more friends than me.
You know, it's funny.
When things are going well, you never think about it.
It's just normal.
But when things are bad, it's, like, every minute you spend thinking about how things used to be, and how you wish you'd appreciated it more.
I'm sorry.
That was sentimental and embarrassing.
It's okay.
I totally get it.
Nobody's perfect.
Except, apparently, for Erik.
Oh, I couldn't stand Erik.
He signed his emails, "Have a blessed day.
" No.
Gross.
And I can't prove it, though, I firmly believe he was hosting gigabytes gigabytes of anime porn torrents on our server.
You're blowing my mind right now.
Look, I can't go through the process of hiring another IT guy.
Interviewing those freaks was insufferable.
So.
Please.
Take a class or something and learn how to do this job.
And no more temper tantrums at work.
I have a nine-year-old at home.
I get enough of that shit already.
Understood.
Oh.
Have a blessed day.
Get out.
[microwave beeps.]
[phone chimes.]
[chuckles.]
["Moonstruck" by Sinkane.]
MAN: Each night, outside of Lowlands Walking home alone - I know which side that I'm on - Confused, we look up, doubting what's our song - Yet alone, without a song of our own - Assumed you'd come and show me but I learned soon you don't even come outside on your own No, you don't, you don't even come outside RAE: Hey, finally.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
MAN: No, we don't, we don't even got a song - RAE: Oh, damn.
- LEON: Come on.
- ALEX: Can I play this? - RAE: You can keep that.
- And then turn those over.
- I don't wanna hear it, Leon.
- Turn those over.
- I see your fox.
- And I raise you a lord - No, you're not.
You don't know what you're doing yet.
- So just wait.
- All right.
[all chattering and laughing.]
MAN: Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime Your face And pull Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime Ma lune Je t'aime