Doom Patrol (2019) s03e06 Episode Script

1
As Rita's ship slipped
into the time stream,
she was riddled with fear.
But there was no turning back.
She wanted to be a hero.
As she dove into the very root
of consciousness
I'm Rita Farr.
her tree of life blossomed
before her.
But as she watched,
Rita was struck by how little
of her life she'd actually chosen.
When was the last time
she followed her bliss?
I'm always ♪
Rita wept,
and every tear that fell
represented all the shame and regrets,
all the judgy looks and great
harms that Rita had endured.
And then, the most remarkable
thing happened.
With each tear shed,
Rita's memory was purged.
My schemes are just ♪
Whatever this woman's
dreams and sorrows had been,
by the time she landed in 1917,
she was a blank slate.
I'm always chasing ♪
Rainbows ♪
Okay, you.
I won't hesitate to give you
the what-now.
But if you're just passing through,
let me be the first to say
welcome to Iowa.
My name is Betty Ann Bucklestone.
Uh Mmm.
Might I use your restroom?
Uh, can't say about rest.
You might get a few splinters.
It's over yonder.
- Okay.
- What's your name, hon?
Uh
Good question.
There I was picking mushrooms,
when this strange earthly motor carriage
dug right up through my daffodils.
Lady, you do not want to mess
with the Bureau of Normalcy.
Where is the pilot?
I can assure you, I don't
want to mess with anyone,
but it does appear,
I am the ship's aviatrix.
Lady, what do you take us for?
Let's try this again.
I'm Agent Wilson, and you are?
Come on, lady, we don't have all day.
- I don't know. I am
- I am
Laura De Mille.
Oh, you're a wisecracker now, are ya?
Please. I'm not trying to
wisecrack anything. I
Okay, I've seen enough.
Come on.
Blasted Bureau bottomfeeders.
Quickly, Mallah, capture
every detail of the vessel
before they haul it away.
Great idea, sir.
I'm The Brain.
All I have are great ideas.
Wonder of wonders.
Something tells me, if I
reverse engineer the sketch,
I can design my own ship.
And then all my plans
for world domination
come into sharp focus.
- Our.
- Excuse me?
Our plans for world domination.
Sure.
Stop.
Macaroni. Caroni. Caroni.
I finally arrived.
I don't know why.
The Stapler flies at dawn.
Yams.
There, there.
It's okay.
- It's okay.
- Come.
Don't worry, Kay.
You just tell me what shoes
you want. I'll get them.
- You think it'll work?
- It'll work.
What about green high tops,
or maybe some pink runners?
- You got the money?
- Yeah.
Okay. Go straight up, buy your shoes,
and come right back, okay?
- What about the others?
- I'll take care of them.
Hey, you got this. Now go.
Hey, man, you busy?
Dude, who is that?
I thought I told you not
to click pop-ups.
That's Ginger. She keeps
me company while I play.
And if I just can get Private Nuttles
to the Hazelnut Highway,
I'll be frickin' awesome.
- What's up?
- I've been thinking
Am I the hammer or the nail?
My brother, I hear you.
I mean, am I an approximate man?
Why am I even Cyborg?
What? What? Because
you're a fucking god.
You can basically bang anybody you want.
Like the entire cast of
The Love Boat or Knots Landing.
Why in God's name and nut cheese
would you want to change that?
Maybe because it's not
all about who you can bang?
Said no superhero ever.
- Oh, nuts!
- What? No!
I had cashew reserve!
That really wasn't the kind
of talk I was hoping for.
Oh, sorry. Stupid life choices
really aren't my specialty.
Oh, here's a thought.
Maybe talk to somebody who gives a shit.
Sit down. And don't touch anything.
Enter.
Right, right.
My, what a lovely laboratory.
A smoldering headless mannequin
bubbling potions and mice.
Hello. Very sciencey.
The rather imposing gentleman
who was just leaving
seemed rather upset.
Might I ask what it is
you do here exactly?
Ah. Who am I?
Good question. Relevant question,
and yet, I know not.
I seem to have flown in
like a feather off the cosmos.
That actually sounded quite sciencey.
Right. Next question. What am I?
Ditto.
Why am I? Mmm, another
thought-provoking inquiry,
and yet, I think we might both
agree that my journey here
has left me quite discombobulated.
The only thing I have is this.
Therefore, it would seem that I
am from the Sisterhood of Dada,
and my name is Laura De Mille.
Ah! Look at that. We have the same name.
Or not.
Now, if you're Laura De Mille,
then, who is the Sisterhood of Dada?
Have you got a light?
Goodness. You did that
with such vigor and flair.
Not flame.
Okay, not telekinesis.
Ha!
Did that Did that hurt?
No! In fact, it felt just
like I don't even know,
but, in summary, felt good,
felt really good.
Right.
Not a weapon.
Nuh-uh, Comrade Hog,
no squirrel meat today.
No! Get away from me.
What the fuck?
You scared the shit out of me.
Sisterhood of Dada. Speak.
Fine.
Bunch of super self-absorbed
kookledoodle meta-humans
who definitely do not like you.
When I said the name Laura De Mille,
I got a foot up my ass
and not in a good way.
So, if I were you,
I'd stay away from
the Sisterhood of Wackydoo.
And?
And they were working on
some creepy, maybe cool art thingy.
Too early to tell.
Okay, draw it.
If it gets you away from
me sooner I will do it.
- What's this?
- Hello? Robot fingers.
You are aware that your little
friend Rita stole my time machine.
And that sucks for me why?
Mail plops into the gizmos,
sort and file it in the doodads.
If they don't have a doodad,
put it in the thingamabob.
If they don't have a thingamabob,
we put it back up the whatzit.
Got it?
Ah, goody!
Out of the gizmo.
Into the doodad.
And we're off!
Don't think I've ever seen anyone
so delighted by mail delivery.
Might as well make the most
out of this postal pit stop.
Reckon you're just visiting, then?
Mmm-hmm. Your guess is as good as mine,
but until I figure out why I'm here,
I'll happily file the whatzits,
and take my marching orders
from that officious Laura
De Mille in recruiting,
whom, by the way, strikes me
as a tad bit strange.
That officious Laura De Mille,
she saved us.
I stand corrected, Holly.
I suppose I'm just feeling
out of sorts not knowing my
name or where I come from.
Let's give you a name, then.
How about we call you
Bendy?
Hmm.
You've got a real knack, Bendy.
- And you've got a fan club.
- What?
Oh, hello, it's me.
Hi. Oh, I remember seeing you.
Come with me. Now.
Freaks.
Guess who was up there
just eating her sandwich
at the agents' table?
Bendy!
Meet the gang.
Malcolm, Shelly, Sachiko and Lloyd.
I did, but Holly said it
Wait. Did you just speak Japanese
and did I just understand you?
- Piffle paffle, Bendy.
- Sorry, what?
Don't question. Just go with it.
You have to eat here?
I'm utterly confounded.
You all should do something about it.
Must be nice to have forgotten
how the world works.
That's true.
Meta weapons get sent
to the front lines.
People like us, we work here.
Or get carted off.
Well, then, until I find my way,
I shall indeed piffle paffle here,
in this glorious, gloomy gutter.
And don't worry, Bendy.
We still find ways to have fun.
What are you doing?
Fuck yourself sideways, Pretty Polly.
Oh, ouch.
How could you let the girl go up?
It's never been about what I want.
Haven't you ever done a kindness
simply for the sake of it?
Dr. Harrison says there's no
such thing as a selfless act.
Pretty Pretty Polly, wake the fuck up.
We're a construct.
Kindness may be one
of our only commodities.
Grid, turn off notifications.
Notifications off.
What is so special about Niles Caulder?
I'm not sure.
Just felt a twinge.
Ah, twinge.
That's fascinating.
Has your, um
body elephant recalled anything else?
Perhaps about the Sisterhood of Dada?
- The what?
- It was in your note.
Oh, right.
- No, still nothing.
- Hmm.
It appears you're the only part
of the note that I found.
Well, I must confess
I do know a little something
about the other part.
And I do believe it's high time
you found out.
It's wonderful.
The stuff of life, is it not?
A warm place to hang your hat
at the end of the day,
filled with friends and music.
But how did you
Where are we?
Shelley made it for us. It's her thing.
You're the Sisterhood of Dada.
But of course, you are. Piffle paffle!
And we welcome you,
Post Mistress Divine.
We like to dress up, Bendy.
Adds a touch of the mysterious.
I made this for you.
I call it "Ode to Lunchroom".
- Lloyd, c'est magnifique.
- Ah, merci.
- What are you thirsty for?
- Whatever you're having.
One Leap Frog coming on up.
Come, come, come, come.
Oh! Pull up a pillow, huh?
First things first.
How did you know about
our little troupe?
And are you from the past or the future?
De Mille said you had a note
that mentioned the Sisterhood.
This is our top secret enclave, Bendy.
I had to mention the note, I'm afraid.
Price of admission.
Don't let her straight-laced
Bureau face fool you.
Laura's a wild cat.
Well, it's all in good fun.
Ooh, that reminds me.
Maybe you could help.
We're making a moving picture later.
Before we get zozzled,
we've got to know.
Bendy, are we important?
I wish I could remember.
- Uh
- It's all right, honey.
Hmm.
You know, the only rule is,
there are no rules.
Piffle paffle!
- J'm'en fous.
- Really?
What happened to that crackerjack
woman with the clipboard?
Oh, that bitch is off the clock.
Truly, Bendy,
does anyone really know who they are,
or why they're here?
All that really matters is now.
And now
And wow.
Whoo! My
I need a break.
Say, where's that fellow with the books?
Isn't he part of your coterie?
Oh, Malcolm? Dreadfully shy.
He had his head scrambled
by the war in France.
Just follow the pipe smoke.
You'll find him.
My schemes
are just like all my dreams ♪
Ending in the sky ♪
Some people look
and find the sunshine ♪
I always look and find the rain ♪
Some people make a winning sometime ♪
I never seem to make a gain ♪
Believe me ♪
Ha, I found you.
You found the absinthe.
- Ah, yes!
- Have a seat, Bendy.
Well, thank you.
Oh, I have just the thing.
Ah.
I, um, I traded my heart
for a canary in Verdun.
Every morning, she flies.
Looking forward.
No memory from when she came.
Fresh eyes. Like you.
Your heart, does it hurt?
Ah, remembering's worse.
Can I help?
You already have.
Lovebirds, come hither!
Sweet folly of Cupid's rapture.
We're making sound poems.
Malcolm, darling,
bring the lumiere. Come on.
And in the spirit of absolute nonsense,
our great Bendy will pick a word.
Yes!
Come on, Bendy! Come on, Bendy!
Come on, Bendy!
Bendy?
Chocolate.
Chock.
Chock.
Chock-chock.
Chock.
- Oh!
- Chock.
Chock-chock-chock.
Chock-chock-chock.
Okay.
Okay, okay. Okay!
Mountain.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
Mountain.
Muh-muh-muh.
Mum-mum-mum.
Muh. Mum-muh.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Mum-mum-mum-mah.
Muh-muh-muh-mah.
Muh-muh-muh-mah. Muh-muh-muh-mah.
Muh-muh-muh-mah. Muh-muh-muh-mah.
Oh, yeah. Come to Papa.
Papa needs aces high. Aces high, baby.
Who's my big metal stud?
You know what I'm gonna do, Cliffie?
I'm gonna take my finger
and put it in my
Oh, sweetums, you're out of time.
It's okay. Uh Just run my card again.
I need more Gingey goodness.
Aw, yeah! Level 19, bitches!
Seven walnuts from the Filbert Flyaway.
Um, Cliffie, it says that your card's
declined due to insufficient funds.
I'm gonna need to log off now.
What? No. What if we do an IOU?
No, it doesn't work that way.
Uh, do you have any
of those vintage coins?
Maybe you can sell them on eBay.
Uh, nope.
How about a used race car set?
Ew. Boring.
What about your wacky roommates?
Do they have anything cool to sell?
Uh, maybe.
Actually, you know,
one of my roomies is Cyborg.
Really? You know, I would pay big bucks
to have coffee or something
hot with him.
You would?
Let's see what someone else would pay.
Who would have thunk it?
All these little accidents seem random,
but maybe I had to become
a race car driver, swerve,
see my wife cheating with Bump,
get in a wreck caused
by a mad scientist,
be reduced to a brain in a tin can
and come live in this dump with
my wacky roommates, you know?
Maybe it's some grand scheme
designed by the cosmos
that brought me to Salty Bumps
to fight an alligator
so I could reunite with Clara and
meet my amazing grandson Rory.
Don't you see? I had to
die, go to the afterlife,
see my asshole dad, become a zombie,
only to realize I wanted
to be a better person.
Not for me, but for Clara and Rory.
And in that quest,
I had too many parky meds
and clicked on that pop-up,
even though Vic told me not to,
but Chipmunk Jump opened a gate
where I didn't know
there was one, you see?
Point is, I took a risk
and it set me on this hero's
journey with Private Nuttles,
Stan my online dealer at World Wide
poker, and Ginger my cam girl.
And with this posse of love and support,
I'm gonna win that fucking key chain
and be the grandad Rory needs me to be.
Last night was pure joy.
Not a care in the world.
Wherever you come from,
you didn't have this?
I don't think so.
The only sense I could get was that
happiness was never as easy
as you all make it seem.
No, it's never been easy.
Their lives have been bloody awful.
But at some point, they chose to
be happy in spite of everything,
took comfort in that struggle.
When I met them I realized that I needed
to protect their weird
and wonderful ways.
And the Bureau let you?
Oh, they haven't bothered me yet.
This is their protest.
A life well-lived.
What about you?
I'm a tad more complicated.
What are those two up to?
Their zany creation.
Oh, it's absurd, really.
I'm afraid some think of Dada
as more than a temporary fling
and carry the wild idea
that it can change the world.
But why shouldn't they risk it?
Follow their mad bliss,
plant their flag and
stand for something?
Bendy, you may have
lived a charmed life,
but from where I sit,
I'm lucky to be standing at all.
Not everyone can take that kind of risk.
No, Lloyd. I suppose you're right.
Whoa.
Whoa!
No, no, no, no Kay. Kay, let me up.
You don't know him, don't talk to him.
You okay?
Um, yeah, I'm okay. Thanks.
You just learning?
Well, you're doing pretty darn good.
But if it were me,
I'd pay a bit more attention
to these cars. Much safer.
Take care now.
Okay.
The Bureau's known for going
to any lengths to secure a target.
They have no qualms pitting
family against each other.
I'm sorry you got sucked in.
I didn't. I chose this.
What? Why?
Really wasn't that far a stretch,
what with the abandonment
and the mom going insane,
brother offing himself,
son getting shot.
Can't believe it took me
so long to realize
the Bureau's where I always belonged.
But the Bureau is evil.
This can't be who you are, son.
It can't be.
At least I didn't run away
with my tail between my legs.
And don't call me son.
That implies that you were actually
at my Little League games.
Or helped me with algebra, told me
what to do on a fucking first date.
You weren't there!
You weren't there, Larry Trainor!
Not for me. Or Gary. Or Mom.
So drop the Dad routine
because it implies
responsibility for something
other than your goddamn self.
No, I stayed away to protect you.
You stayed away to protect you!
Face it, you sucked at being a dad.
Accept that. Make things
a lot easier for us.
We don't all get to choose our paths.
You think I wanted
to burn up in my plane
and become some nuclear accident?
You think I raised my hand
at flight school,
volunteered to have an alien
entity merge with my body,
basically making me
a radioactive pariah?
You think I enjoy wrapping
my body everyday in bandages
and unwrapping them just to take a piss?
Do you think it's been fun
to not touch anyone
for 70 goddamn years?
And until today, yeah,
I selfishly wanted more.
But if my being around you is
so harmful, then I'm done trying.
I am your father.
I loved you from the moment
you were born.
Actually, no, from the moment
I knew you were on the way.
I sat next to your mom's tummy,
and we listened to Game 1
of the World Series.
And when Willie Mays
caught that fly ball
and when we cheered, you kicked.
Your foot was as big as an orange
slice and I knew you'd be tall.
You can't take that from me.
And even after I left,
in my mind, I stayed.
But maybe that doesn't count.
And maybe you can't forgive me,
but I forgive myself.
So if you're feeling better
now, I'd like you to leave.
Your father and I
used to have this ritual
that every time we would come up here,
I would put a rock under this
tree and he would call me crazy.
I am because the world
needs justice and order.
I am because
I want to serve and protect.
That was rehearsed and cliche
for a half-man, half tin can.
The great Cyborg. The man
who doesn't even know himself.
How can you know suffering or joy
without knowing who you are?
You were right.
You were right.
Everything I did was to protect you.
I don't care what you hear
or who you talk to.
It won't change that.
Victor, when you walk down that path,
anything that happens
from here is your choice.
Focus on that.
Oh goody. Chicken salad.
Come on, Holly.
Yeah, come on, Frank.
Bendy, you're out of your mind.
In the best way possible.
Okay.
God almighty, look at that thing.
It's so ugly, I can't look away.
This is why they're not
supposed to be up here.
How can you stomach any food?
It's grotesque.
Whoa, whoa. I got you.
Never let 'em see you sweat.
Piffle paffle.
Piffle paffle.
Come on.
Piffle paffle. Piffle paffle.
Piffle paffle. Piffle paffle!
Pickled stockings.
Sell! Buy! Cut the piss!
Look, sir. You don't know what's coming.
Boom-boom dun-dun ca-caw.
Boom-boom. Dun-dun. Ca-caw.
You metas. With me. Now!
Right now!
Piffle paffle. Ca-caw. J'm'en fous.
Piffle paffle. Ca-caw. J'm'en fous!
Piffle paffle. Ca-caw. J'm'en fous!
Ca-caw. J'm'en fous.
I thought we were done for.
We are the Sisterhood of Dada
and I will stand by you
till the day I die.
But for now, we have got to go
because the actual guards
are on their way. Come on.
Clowns, Sachiko? Really?
You couldn't have turned
them into kittens?
Oh, come on. Come on.
Well, if it isn't Dr. Preparation H
and the Tattle Tale Twin.
That could have gone very badly.
You may be primary but
you can't take risks like this.
Thanks, Jane. It was great.
She looks pretty happy to me.
She doesn't understand the
danger. Can't you see that?
I just watched a girl
teach herself how to ride a bike
after being held captive in her
own mind for almost 70 years.
In one afternoon, she freed
herself from that bondage
and found a little joy.
Some things are worth the risk.
Well, it'd be nice
if all the personas could have
been consulted beforehand.
Look, she gets better, we get better.
I didn't always think like this.
But when I saw the wind in her
hair and the sun on her face,
I realized this is the next step.
This is what growth looks like.
Our fates are all intertwined
You have no idea what growth looks like.
If you don't stop
this divisive behavior,
you'll get exactly what you want.
What's that supposed to mean?
Mmm. Figured.
More idle threats
from a second-rate doctor
in cheap shoes.
That's a burn, Dr. H.
Now what?
For starters, no more idle threats.
I had three of a kind.
I thought we were going up the river
so I went all in and now it's gone.
All gone!
You'll bounce back, Cliffie.
Hang on. Fuzzyrimjob42
is offering 50K for blueprints
of my robot body and brain!
I mean, it's basically my DNA.
I can't sell that stuff.
I already sold half my roomies' stuff.
What am I doing?
Next hand in 30 seconds.
29, 28, 27, 26
twenty-five, 24, 23, 22, 21
Oh, what the fuck. Fuck it.
Hey, I'm here to see
Dr. Chalmers about synthetic skin.
- Do you have an appointment?
- I think so.
I booked it online.
- I can check. Let's see.
- Thanks.
Cyborg.
Actually, I booked it under Vic Stone.
Right.
Here you are. Dr. Chalmers
will be with you in a minute.
Meantime, have a seat
and fill out this questionnaire.
Thanks.
"What is it you want to change
about yourself and why?"
"How will your life improve
if you get synthetic skin?"
Oh, no. I thought you were gone.
Ooh!
Oh! What is happening?
I was hoping
if I stood here long enough,
this great metal beast
would say something.
Anything. So I could know why I'm here.
Not that it really matters, but
I don't really care why.
I just thank my lucky stars
that you chose this time, this place.
And if this thing should
suddenly jump to life
I understand if you wanna go back.
Back to what?
I'm happy here. Life makes sense.
I don't want to run just because I
fear what the Bureau's becoming,
but what if they try to do
away with us completely?
What if my purpose was to take
the Sisterhood away from here
to some place safe?
Hmm.
I think your ship was built for one.
Oh.
What if your purpose was to show us
how to bend and stretch
towards a better world?
Huh?
Do you think there's something
better out there?
I can't imagine what.
Somehow, somewhere,
I climbed into that metal beast
and journeyed here.
I found what I was looking for and more.
Honestly, Malcolm,
why do we always think
there's something better out
there just beyond our reach?
What could be better than right here?
Right now?
I'm staying. I'm staying!
Good.
That's good.
- Oh, I almost forgot.
- Hmm?
I, um, made you something.
Your paperclip.
I believe I know
the perfect place to keep this.
May I?
For safekeeping.
I'll guard it with my life.
Sisterhood of Dada.
Whatever you're after, it won't be me.
Or maybe it will.
Or maybe it will.
Or maybe it will.