Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s03e06 Episode Script
Rule #218: There's No Crying in Baseball
1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" Breakfast is on me today, 'cause Mama got a raise.
- [women cheering.]
- Wow.
Delia! Ronnie, we're in the middle of divorce negotiations.
If your wife's lawyers get any evidence of this, they're gonna have a field day! My infant of an attorney 127 hours of community service.
- I'm Phoebe.
- Gemma.
- Gemma Sako? - No escaping it.
JD, my husband, is amazing, I'm just here because L.
A.
can be a little stifling.
- Hey, I'm Ethan.
- I know that look.
You've got the hots for Ethan.
I got the impression that you're really not his type.
- What? - He likes sportier girls.
Just because I'm not in the mood for one meeting does not mean I'm going out on a bender.
Mom, give him a break.
He's fine.
I have a ton of pre-calc studying, and I can't focus if I have to block out all the fighting.
Honey, call 911! What's this book about, anyway? Uh, hello, I am not ready to tell you that.
You have inspired me.
[gasps.]
Oh, my God.
They've had the toughest year, and they are still in the thick of it.
I mean, I can't imagine splitting up with someone and living under the same roof.
- [sighs.]
- Wow.
That was Oh, my God, that thing you did at the end, that was, like Wow.
- My specialty.
- Yeah.
Why did we wait so long? - What are we, crazy? - You, you're crazy.
I am.
- You all right? - Yeah.
I'm just still rattled a little.
I should've told you right away that I was living at home.
You finding out like that It was tough.
I felt like I didn't know you at all.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
I only want you to feel safe safe and happy.
And you need to know what you've done for me - to me.
- What have I done? You've made me feel again.
[shudders.]
[keys clacking.]
No, no, no, that is way too much.
- [cell phone vibrates.]
- [sneaky music.]
- [cell phone vibrating.]
- [Lilly chuckles.]
Who you texting there, girlfriend? No one, Mom.
How's everything? How's school? Normal.
It's school.
Normal.
Okay, well, that's descriptive.
Well, you're in writing mode, I didn't know you wanted to hear my life story.
I always want to hear your life story.
I made your life with my body.
Gross.
Just you know, we haven't had a catch-up in a long time, so Well, we've been busy, both of us.
Yeah, yeah, Charlie and baseball That's like a job.
And my job job, the book.
I mean, I have been so immersed.
- What's it about, anyway? - Baseball, mostly.
You know, just baseball and other other stuff.
Descriptive.
I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk, okay? Always.
[cell phone chimes.]
[upbeat music.]
[giggles.]
[electronic pop music.]
- Ethan! - Guess what.
I made the varsity debate team.
- Wow, that's - Freakin' amazing! Oh, my gosh! Look at my baby! Varsity debater.
- [chuckles.]
That's awesome, Z.
So proud of you.
So, so, so proud of you, baby.
Okay, so first debate when? Um, not till next week, but I have practice all afternoon tomorrow.
- [cell phone chimes.]
- Well, if you get a break, I'm going with Abby to Charlie's game.
It's at the point where every game is the last one.
- Playoffs? - Yes, yes, whatever.
I just want to see that little weirdo hit a ball.
- I'll be pretty busy, I think.
- Oh, okay.
Well, hey, you should come when you're donesie.
Lilly said Jo invited everybody to hang after.
You talked to Lilly? Since when? They met when she came in last week, remember? - Oh.
- I should probably go study.
Okay.
Look at me, honey.
This is what pride looks like Proud mama.
My client has already been quite generous.
The house in Kauai, the chalet in Gstaad, the Jeff Koons My client wants the guitar.
What guitar? Very funny.
You know what guitar.
That guitar is mine! - It was always mine, given to me! - Ron.
Prince gave it to both of them as a wedding gift following his performance at their reception.
A performance that my client paid $1 million for prior to the ceremony, ergo prior to the marriage.
It's community property, Ms.
Banai.
And my client wants it.
My client is prepared to buy out your client's stake in that guitar.
We're listening.
$19.
99.
1999.
Get it? [laughs.]
Yeah, like the song, I get it.
But guess what you're not gonna get.
Why are you doing this, Amber? You hate Prince! Not as much as I hate you.
[rock music.]
Who doesn't love Prince? RIP.
Everybody loves Prince, but she knows how much Ronnie loves that guitar, and keeping it from him is the best way to punish him.
- You are mildly terrifying.
- It's her job.
Mildly terrifying rich people and sharing their stupid wealth with their stupid exes.
And this case is high-profile enough, people at work are finally beginning to get past that Albert gossip and the legal aid for my CUI community service.
Nobody else knows that I have to do it.
They all think I'm doing it to be nice on purpose.
So wait, is that good or bad? I'm guessing good? For office politics, yes.
But the case work is brutal.
And speaking of brutal, Babs, that Mucker lawsuit - It's crazy.
- You don't have to tell me.
- It's a hot mess.
- What the hell's a Mucker? Mucker is my corporate overlord, owns SheShe.
They're being sued up the ass for invasion of privacy.
Sex tape makes Kardashian look bush league.
Or no bush league.
Ha.
[laughter.]
Mucker uploaded it, and now we're all paying.
I don't want to talk about work.
I want to talk about hot kitchen guy, Babs.
Oh, I've heard about him.
Darrell.
- Perfect timing.
- [squeals.]
I want to hear about Babs and her new beau.
- How was Cabo? - It was fun and blissful.
But I want to hear about Babs and Darrell.
- Yummy.
- Pump your breaks, Speed Racer.
We're taking it nice and slow.
We're slow-roasting it.
Phoebe! Did you go to Cabo or prison? Oh, what, this? It's not permanent.
It's just henna.
Gem and I got it after we went horseback riding on the beach.
And then we went snorkeling, and then we went parasailing.
- It felt so good to be so high.
- [mouthing.]
Wow.
And JD is okay with all this frolicking with Gemma? He gets it I mean, he knows a relationship is good for both of our careers.
Hi! Sorry I'm late.
[gasps.]
Phoebe.
- I know.
- It's henna.
Yeah, she and Gemma got them after going horseback riding on the beach.
You should put that in your sexy book, Abs.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- How's the writing? Um, it's good, it's fine, I'm feeling productive.
Did you kill off the coach character yet? - [laughter.]
- No, I have not.
I'm not even mad anymore.
We're done, but my book can diverge from my life.
I am a writer.
I can make stuff up.
It's fiction.
[laughs.]
Hey, Abby, it's okay to be mad.
I mean, I'm mad for you.
He's living with his wife.
Ex-wife I think.
I assume.
But done.
- Onward.
- Good for you.
Well, rear-view mirror him, Abby.
It sounds like he was a mess, anyways.
- Big mess.
- Yep.
But I am just grateful that I got out before I got in too deep or before he got in too deep.
Right? I'm talking about my vagina.
- Oh, we got it.
- Okay, good.
So you haven't talked to him at all? He doesn't even know I know.
It's not worth bringing it up, because, you know, moving on.
I am gonna have to see him at the game tomorrow, though.
- That won't be awkward.
- Yeah, it's gonna be whatever.
He's gonna be in game mode.
He's not even gonna know anybody's there, so Oh, I'll be there.
You got BFF backup if shit goes down, girl.
Thank you very much.
More importantly, I think that Lilly has a love interest.
- [all exclaiming.]
- I don't know who it is yet.
She's just been texting and grinning like a fool.
- Oh, that is so cute.
- That's terrifying.
They're acting so grown-up all of a sudden.
So Zooey made varsity debate team.
- Wow! - Varsity? That's like the travel team for smart people.
I know, right? I was worried the meshuggaas from Frump might derail her, but uh-uh-uh, not my baby, no, she's kicking ass.
- On the rise.
- Yes, they are! All that matters.
[laughter.]
[doorbell rings.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, I got the the Sportade that you asked me to get Lemon-lime.
That's why I'm here To make sure.
It's a joke or an attempt at one.
Can we talk for a second? Um, actually, no.
I'm it's not a good time.
- I'm writing.
- Abby, come on.
You've barely responded to my texts all week.
Is it because of what happened? - Linda catching us - No, it's fine.
- It's fine.
- I'm sorry, okay? - Is that it? - Yeah, look our thing doesn't have to be done.
So you're not gonna tell me that you're still living at home with your wife? [sighs.]
Shit.
- Linda told me.
- Linda? Well, she assumed I knew.
I mean, usually when you are groping somebody in their laundry room, you have already shared pertinent information about your living situation.
You never asked me about my living situation.
I never asked you? Seriously? [chuckles.]
Uh, I'll see you at the game tomorrow, Coach.
[dramatic music.]
Mom? Hey, sweetie.
I know you're writing, but No, um, I am I'm on a break, actually.
Remember when you said that we could talk? Of course, yeah, what is it? [chuckles nervously.]
What's up? It's Zooey.
Mom, she's been mean to me.
But mean how? Just been harassing me on Snapchat and making fun of me at school.
I don't get it.
Zooey being mean, why? I don't know.
Well, I'm gonna talk to Jo, okay? [emotional music.]
Hey, Mitchell, hold up.
You get to read it yet? My column? I sent it to you yesterday.
- What'd you think? - Oh, that.
Yeah, um I liked it a lot.
You know, the part where you kept it real so real.
You didn't read it, did you? What? Of course I did.
Okay, let's talk.
Everything okay? This Mucker lawsuit is giving me a headache the size of my grandma's thimble collection.
- I heard it's bad.
- Night mare.
It is draining company reserves.
And now corporate is squeezing us, asking demanding that we find fresh, exciting ways to increase revenue.
So whatever you heard [whispering.]
Ten times gorier.
Mitchell I think I have an idea.
Recognize it? Uh, wow, it's it's really nice.
I've been a bit locked up lately.
Mm-hmm? And I just focused on our tree, and I got inspired.
Right.
- You hate it, don't you? Tell me - No, no, I don't hate it.
It's just, it's not your brand.
I have a brand? - I thought I was an artist.
- Don't get defensive.
I'm not defensive.
You know I think you are the most talented and everything you do is magic.
- But - But? I have been talking you up to Gemma, like, constantly, and she is coming over for dinner tonight, and she could be a huge potential buyer.
So Just stick to brands.
Do not roll your eyes.
And just, you know, stick to your usual stuff.
I'm excited to finally meet this Gemma that you've been spending all your time with.
Oh, my God, she cannot wait to meet you, and I cannot wait to merge my Gemma with my loving husband.
That makes me so happy.
[doorbell rings.]
Who's ready for baseball? - Hell, yeah, baseball, whoo! - Yeah.
No way would I miss the, uh playoffs? [laughs.]
Thank you, um, for coming.
It means a lot to me and to Charlie, so, um You freaking out about seeing the coach? No, I'm fine about that.
I just, uh There is something I do want to talk to you about.
- It's a little bit sensitive.
- Okay, hit me.
It's about Lilly and Zooey.
Lilly talked to me last night.
She said that Zooey's being mean to her.
"Mean"? What do you mean "mean"? Calling her names on Snapchat and in person.
Wow.
That doesn't sound like Zo.
I know, and that's what I I mean, Lilly and I both said that.
Oh, shit! Ethan.
Ethan? Who He's my new baker.
Zooey's been crushing on him, and you said Lil's got a guy.
- She probably likes him, too.
- That makes sense.
- But still - Yeah, teen hormones.
Total shitshow.
But girls will be girls.
They'll figure it out.
- Yeah.
- Come on, come on.
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! Hell, yeah, baseball! What are you, head ball thrower or something? - That's not a real position.
- Okay.
Can you help me, please? Yeah.
[rock music.]
Oh, that coach is pretty hot.
I see what you see.
Saw.
You sure you're okay? Yeah, no, I'm good.
I told you I'm good.
All right, Warriors, huddle up! This is what we worked for.
This is our moment, and we're ready.
Okay, put your hands in, let 'em know who you are.
All: One, two, three, Warriors! - All right, yeah! - Whoo! All: Steelheads! [cheers and applause.]
Whoo-Hoo! Yeah, Warriors, let's go! Smoke those fish! Yeah, Warriors, smoke 'em! Eat 'em for dinner.
Oh, way to go, honey.
Way to build off mine.
Well, I'm out of practice.
I haven't been to a game all season.
- Uh-oh.
- Who's your kid? Uh, I am here with a friend.
- 2-8.
- 2-8's mom, yeah.
I don't even know my kid's number.
Asher, second base.
Coach's son.
I'm Colette.
Colette Brady.
Hi.
All right, 1-5, We need you scoring! Let's go, let's go! All right! Yes! [cheers and applause.]
Nice hit.
Good focus.
[applause.]
So, uh, why no games this season? You not a big baseball fan? Not really.
Baseball more my husband's department.
Husband? I-I heard that you guys were, uh Divorcing? Oh, nothing stays secret in these bleachers, huh? Kind of why I've been staying away Avoiding the stares.
- Sorry, I didn't mean to - So why did you come today? To this game? Asher asked me to come.
- Can't say no to your kid.
- No.
Colette? [gasps.]
Colette, oh, my God, hi! - Excuse me.
- Linda, babe.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Mwah.
I didn't know you were gonna be here.
God, you look fantastic.
Hi, Abby.
Hi, uh have you met Colette? I Di We did.
We just met, and we have been chatting, small talk, game talk chatter.
And - [whispering.]
Oh, my God.
- No, no, it's good.
- The ex.
- No, it's good.
It's, like, great for my book.
It's a great new character.
Are you kidding me? - I would be dying right now.
- I'm fine.
I am more worried about our girls to be honest About Zooey's behavior.
We covered that.
Yeah, well, clearly, we need to have a larger conversation.
You want to have one right here in the bleachers? Maybe I do.
[cheers and applause.]
Go, Charlie! Yes! Go, Charlie! He's in the dugout.
[upbeat music.]
[doorbell buzzes.]
Hello? Ronnie? Got your text.
Is there something you wanted to discuss? Oh, my God! Thanks for coming.
I did not want to do this over the phone.
Ronnie, this is completely inappropriate.
- This is totally unprofessional! - Surprise! - We're getting back together! - I'm sorry, what was that? We're calling off the divorce.
You were totally at each other's throats yesterday.
Exactly.
It was so hot.
It got us all riled up.
$19.
99 for the guitar? - Mm.
- Genius! Ooh, careful, babe! Guitar.
I'm really happy for you both, but this is a really big decision.
I don't think you should make it rashly.
That's how we like it.
Rash, bruised, rough.
Oh, my God.
Okay, excuse me, I really need to have a word here with my client With your husband, sorry.
Please.
[whispering.]
You can't be serious.
How many times have you told me what a toxic nightmare she is? It's only a matter of time before she does something to hurt you again trust me.
This is always how these things end up.
Nah.
We'll be fine.
[chuckles.]
Oh.
.
I guess this means you're fired.
[Amber chuckles.]
All right, Warriors, hustle up! Take your positions.
[sighs.]
Hey.
Can you give me a minute? I'm just trying to go to the restroom.
And you could've given me the heads-up that your wife was gonna be at the game.
Ex-wife.
Look, me and her, our situation I You know what? You have stuff.
You have a lot of stuff, but it's not my stuff.
So maybe we should move on.
Season's almost over.
We should just call it.
That's what you want? That's what I want.
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[laughter.]
We'll discuss internally.
Uh, how did you come up with this? - Well - Oh, SheShe is a very creative place.
Barbara and I were kind of bouncing around some ideas and just Pshew It just kind of happened.
Impressive work.
Thank you, sir.
Yay us! "Yay us"? Hey, we have got to make them feel good about us as a site A team.
I will follow up with them tomorrow.
Great work.
Ah, shit, this place needs a scoreboard.
Are we still at, uh Down by one, last inning, two outs.
You got this little contact, little knock right here.
Come on, Andy.
Come on.
Mike doesn't like chain-grabbers.
Oh, yeah, I can't I'm one, too.
The worst.
Come on, Ash, you got this, kiddo! Strike! I'm, uh I'm sorry about earlier.
I didn't mean to come off as so insensitive, you know, asking about your marital situation.
I-I got divorced recent recently.
It was it was really hard on the whole family.
Yeah.
Talk about protecting your kids.
I just want to keep their lives as normal as possible.
Yeah.
My ex and I We went through so much.
Um, there was, like, a lot of ups and downs and, you know, "will they/won't they"? It was, uh, a lot of complex complexity.
Yeah.
It's, uh It's a roller coaster.
Yeah.
Oh, oh! Yes, baby! There we go! There we go! Wow! Wow, that was amazing.
Last at-bat, season's on his shoulders.
Come on, little guy! All right, Charlie! You can do it! Strike! [light applause.]
Strike! [light applause.]
You got this! Focus.
Let's go, 2-8.
Strike three! That's the game.
Oh, God.
Ah.
2-8, look at me.
Coach, I lost it.
I lost the whole game for us.
No, no, you didn't.
You played hard.
You left it all out there.
I'm proud of you.
You had a great season.
We had a great season.
Yeah.
All: One, two, three, Steelheads! Sweetie, you did a damn good job.
Damn good job.
I'm so proud of you, honey.
[emotional music.]
There you go, slugger.
Oh, honey bear.
This must be hard.
The Warriors, its been a big part of your life for a while now, and now it's over.
It's okay to be sad.
- Endings are tough.
- Wow, this cupcake's amazing! - Yeah? - Go into the kitchen.
- Ethan will get you another one.
- Yeah.
All right, sweetie, well, it's okay to feel your feelings.
You know, everything's gonna be okay.
[sighs.]
Poor guy.
Yeah, he seems pretty broken up.
You, on the other hand, I'm sure you're relieved.
No more Mike drama.
Oh, yes, I am relieved.
- I am extremely relieved.
- I did not say that.
Yes, you did.
You said that yesterday.
- I did not.
You're such a liar.
- No, you said that yesterday.
[giggling.]
I didn't.
Okay, my theory's correct.
There's a love triangle going on.
Yeah, one that Zooey's on the outside of.
You don't know that.
Get you a refill.
Maybe Lilly's just trying to move in on Ethan because Zooey is, you know Jo, enough.
Lilly was really upset.
- She seems fine.
- Now.
But before, when she told me, she was near tears.
Well, Lilly, she's a little Lilly's a little what? She's a tiny bit overprotected, just coddled, and that's fine.
That's your parental choice I just think sometimes you got to let the kids get dirty and figure it out.
Well, that is easy for you to say, when my daughter's the one getting all the dirt on her.
Your hands-off parenting technique is not gonna cut it this time.
How about you worry about your kid, I worry abut mine? I am worried about my kid because your kid is bullying her! Bullying? Wow! That's a buzzword.
Why can't you acknowledge Because Zooey's been through hell.
So I'm sorry if she's less than sweet.
But now it is affecting my daughter.
If you don't talk to Zooey, I will.
Mommy, can I have another one? You can have anything you want.
Yay.
JD, that dinner I mean, my taste buds, mmm! You know what? I need a JD of my very own.
He's pretty amazing.
Well, I may be willing to share.
[giggles.]
Phoebe, I thought this was gonna be a respectable evening? [mellow music.]
Besides, I'm a selfish bitch.
I never really learned how to share.
- Where'd you learn, JD? - To share? - No, to cook.
- My mom.
Oh, what's her specialty? - Take-out.
- [laughs.]
That's how I learned.
If I wanted a decent meal, I had to.
I'm not too good in the kitchen either.
Oh, stop it.
You're amazing at everything else.
JD, your wife is my favorite person - Aw.
- In case you couldn't tell.
- [laughs.]
- Mine too.
Oh, my God, you two, so adorable.
Well, JD, we've tasted your cooking.
Let's see what else you can do with those hands.
Honestly I'm not crazy about this one.
I feel like I've seen it before.
Well you've been spending a lot of time with the subject.
Good one.
I'm just not into the overtness of the sexuality.
I like my sex more veiled.
- What else you got? - Uh, let's see.
Some of his portraits have more nuance.
Or I just finished something new.
I'm intrigued.
Show me.
[tense music.]
Now, this I'm absolutely obsessed with.
You like it? Wow.
Thank you.
It's a delight.
I mean, it's just so bold in its simplicity.
That's exactly right.
Amazing.
JD is always shaking it up.
He never stays on one topic too long.
- Thanks, Phoebe.
- You're welcome, babe.
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, how was the game? Oh, Charlie's team lost, but it was great.
It was exciting.
How was debate practice? Good.
So great.
Mm-hmm.
Listen, honey, do you have a sec? - Can we chat? - Oh, um, yeah.
But is Ethan here? - He said that I should stop by - He's in the kitchen, but- - Okay.
- Zooey He said it was for the good of the site, so what can I say to that? That Mitchell really pisses me off.
I know, but there's nothing I can do he's my boss.
But you can't let him walk all over you.
That was your idea, and you need to make sure it's acknowledged.
You deserve respect.
You've earned it there.
[loud crash.]
- What the hell, Zooey? - What's going on? She pushed me! She's insane! Mom, she had her hands all over him! - That dirty slut! - Jo, you see this? - This is it! - I will deal with this.
No, you won't, and that is the problem! He's never gonna want to be with you.
Look at you, you're a child! Well, at least I'm not huge like you I'm surprised you can stand up straight! Hey, Zooey, don't! What about what she said to me? Hey, C-man, can I get you on the patio, please? Thank you.
Zooey, no matter what you are feeling, physical violence is never okay! - Do not lecture - Enough! You, problem, move it out.
Lilly, follow your brother, please.
Zooey, a separate corner.
Thank you.
- You happy? Are you happy now, Jo? Because this is what happens when you don't There you go with the mommy lecturing again! - In front of you! - Okay, ladies, take a breath! You are like an ostrich with your stupid head buried in the sand.
You daughter is obsessed! Obse you're the one that's obsessed! I'm obsessed? Oh, yeah, you are obsessed with the coach.
You have these cartoon hearts coming out of your eyes! The last time I saw you like this, you married the guy! Who really has her head in the sand? Good talk.
Uh, Lilly took Charlie home.
Where's Zooey? Barbara gave her a lift.
And lover boy? I sent him home, too.
I'm sorry what I said about you and the coach.
I'm sorry what happened just now with the kids.
I kind of lost my shit.
I'm sorry, too.
I didn't really handle it very well either.
Me not wanting to see what was happening I just I wanted her to be all right, and I thought she was.
[sighs.]
She's okay.
She is tough and smart, and she's a good person, Jo.
That's big of you to say.
Poor Lilly.
She'll be all right.
At least she got the guy.
Can you believe it? Our daughters fighting over a guy.
They're just like us.
- Who did we fight for? - Uh, you were totally into Jake.
That is such a lie! Although, his aimless quality, I did appreciate.
But I never fought you for him.
Come on.
I conceded real fast.
Because you knew it was a love story for the ages.
- Forever.
- Forever.
It's disconcerting, huh? Our kids being hornballs? That, and that I'm going through menopause, and I'm still as boy-crazy as ever.
And I'm not gonna marry him, but You got the feels going on? I knew he was going through a tough divorce, and I deluded myself into thinking that I had something different with him.
Ugh.
New, easy.
I just don't know if I can go down that road with him.
I don't like what it brings out in me Neurotic Abby.
I guess we never really change.
I actually think you're doing pretty well.
[emotional music.]
[sighs.]
Came home and found it like this.
Oh, no.
Amber.
She says it wasn't her, but who else would want to hurt me like this? She played me just so she could ruin the thing that I care for most my baby.
What do you want to do? I want to leave her with nothing.
[sighing.]
That could not have gone any better.
- She loved you.
- She was cool.
I know.
I thought for a second she was gonna buy the squirrels.
No, Gemma never buys anything right away.
She has to let a piece exist in her soul before she commits it to her physical space.
Trust me, this was forward movement.
[chuckling.]
Okay.
I'll take your word for it unless you change your mind.
What was that? Sorry, forget it.
No, JD, we've talked about this.
If you're angry, just express yourself.
I just you said before that you didn't like that painting.
- I never said that.
- You said it was "off brand.
" Why are you finger quoting? Like, brand isn't a thing.
I guess I just miss when you had an opinion.
I want to know what you think of my work, not what you think that Gemma might think.
Anticipating what other people think is my job.
I am a consultant.
My opinion it doesn't matter.
I think that you can do your job and be my wife at the same time.
Yeah, well, I think that you're being really naive.
[somber music.]
Good night, Phoebe.
[door opens.]
[exhales sharply.]
Hey.
Mom, I know that getting into a fight with Zooey was not good, and It's just that she physically attacked me Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just relax.
Jo is talking to Zooey right now, and I am so sorry that she said all those mean things to you.
And you're beautiful, by the way.
But empathy moment Zooey's been going through a lot.
And clearly, she also has a crush on Ethan.
I don't have a crush.
Lilly It's more than that for me.
I really like him.
We make each other laugh, Mom, and he gets me, and, we get each other.
The other boys I meet, they're not It's hard to find.
Yes, it is.
And I know that everything with Jo and Zooey is messed up, but I think it's worth going for.
- Good.
- Okay, I'm gonna go to bed.
- [both chuckle.]
- Well, give me a hug first.
[both giggle.]
Good night, sweetie.
I don't want to talk about it.
Too bad.
You gave up that choice when you treated your friend like human garbage.
I'm going to bed.
I have debate tomorrow, and I need to get Screw the debate.
We're debating right here.
You come sit down.
Zooey please try to help me understand this.
I know running into your father and these past couple of months, him coming and going from rehab, it has been rough.
It's not just that.
It's everything.
I go to school, and I'm stressed.
I come home to you and Dad, and I'm stressed.
I'm always stressed.
School? What are you talking about? You're doing great.
"Great" isn't good enough.
A 4.
0 is, like, nothing now, okay? You need a million extracurriculars and APs to even be considered by top colleges.
Ethan he was the one thing that almost made me happy.
And then Lilly just swooped in.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, sweetie.
I didn't realize.
But that is no excuse to bully your friend.
There have to be consequences.
What you did and how you acted is not okay.
- Not okay for whom? - It's not okay for anybody.
Including you? You call people names all the time.
You bully people Dad, Scott, your friends.
You don't think I see that? I'm just learning from the master.
[dramatic music.]
[Door slams.]
Hey.
- Morning.
- Morning.
So I have some news.
Um, Gemma called, and she invited us to her lodge, uh, up north next weekend.
- That's nice of her.
- Yeah.
A bunch of people are going I mean, her crowd.
Could be a really cool experience.
But I will only go if you want to, and if you are not into it No.
Let's do it.
Great.
I didn't think you'd want to.
- Why, 'cause I'm naive? - I am sorry abut that.
I was tired.
I wasn't myself.
You were right.
I was being naive.
This trip will be good for us great for our careers.
Yeah.
Heard about Ronnie.
Congrats.
How did you get him to change his mind? Oh, you know, he changed his own mind.
Delia, come on.
I saw that you billed the firm investigator.
You want to tell me what that was for? I didn't want to lose this case, Albert.
I didn't want to lose this client, so I just did what I had to do.
[sighs.]
This was gonna happen eventually.
Ronnie and Amber.
Nothing lasts forever.
You're not wrong there.
Sherry and I are getting a divorce.
Sorry, that's too bad.
Yeah too long in this place can warp you.
Ruthless behavior starts to seem like it's no big deal.
But I don't have to tell you that after what I did.
I acted like I knew what was best for you, and there's no excuse.
Anyway You are a great lawyer.
You don't need tricks.
[dramatic music.]
Mitchell, can we talk? Just the woman I have been looking for.
Please.
Corporate called, and they are into it.
They want to launch "Insider" features across all of their sites ASAP.
They do? Wow.
- Great work, Barbara.
And I made sure to tell them it was all you, rock star.
Oh, BTW, some not so good news to go with the yay.
We are gonna hold a beat on that raise.
Wait, I come up with a way to make the company money, - and I'm rewarded with a pay cut? - It is not a pay cut.
Just the raise we gave you isn't happening.
It's been happening for weeks.
We all need to make sacrifices.
How about you? You taking a pay cut? I'm not sure I like your tone there.
[chuckling.]
I'm sorry, Mitchell, no.
No to this.
I work too hard to take this kind of disrespect.
What Barbara, wait.
- What's happening here? - I'm quitting.
Come on, don't be impulsive.
You have got a good thing here, okay? Out there, that is a bad economy.
The economy's fine, Mitchell.
Are you sure you want to compete for jobs with people half your age? Oh, my God.
[laughs.]
You are making a huge mistake! I guess we'll find out.
Buh-bye.
[doorbell rings.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Thanks for coming.
- Sure.
I was surprised to get your text.
Can I come in this time? Yeah, the kids are all out, so please come in.
- Look, Abby - Wait.
Let me go first.
- You and me, it was fun - I'm moving out.
What? Already? I found a place.
I'll see if I get it.
- Wow, for me? - For me.
I thought you were out.
You made that pretty clear at the game.
I got your text when I was filling out the application for the new place.
- Huh.
- Timing is everything.
I should've told you about my situation, but we were just feeling each other out, and But I'll be on my own now, so So maybe we can feel each other out a little bit more? That's what I'm saying.
If you are drinking It's late I know But, baby, I ain't wasted Can't you call me? Can't get along Can't be alone - Hey.
- Hey.
Where's your mind at? Are you on your own? I know it's been a long time since you've been with someone new, and Abby? Mike? We got this.
Don't you feel alone? Yeah, we do.
Tell me, won't you give us One more try 'Cause I I think about I think about you - [laughs.]
- 'Cause I I think about I think about you
- [women cheering.]
- Wow.
Delia! Ronnie, we're in the middle of divorce negotiations.
If your wife's lawyers get any evidence of this, they're gonna have a field day! My infant of an attorney 127 hours of community service.
- I'm Phoebe.
- Gemma.
- Gemma Sako? - No escaping it.
JD, my husband, is amazing, I'm just here because L.
A.
can be a little stifling.
- Hey, I'm Ethan.
- I know that look.
You've got the hots for Ethan.
I got the impression that you're really not his type.
- What? - He likes sportier girls.
Just because I'm not in the mood for one meeting does not mean I'm going out on a bender.
Mom, give him a break.
He's fine.
I have a ton of pre-calc studying, and I can't focus if I have to block out all the fighting.
Honey, call 911! What's this book about, anyway? Uh, hello, I am not ready to tell you that.
You have inspired me.
[gasps.]
Oh, my God.
They've had the toughest year, and they are still in the thick of it.
I mean, I can't imagine splitting up with someone and living under the same roof.
- [sighs.]
- Wow.
That was Oh, my God, that thing you did at the end, that was, like Wow.
- My specialty.
- Yeah.
Why did we wait so long? - What are we, crazy? - You, you're crazy.
I am.
- You all right? - Yeah.
I'm just still rattled a little.
I should've told you right away that I was living at home.
You finding out like that It was tough.
I felt like I didn't know you at all.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
I only want you to feel safe safe and happy.
And you need to know what you've done for me - to me.
- What have I done? You've made me feel again.
[shudders.]
[keys clacking.]
No, no, no, that is way too much.
- [cell phone vibrates.]
- [sneaky music.]
- [cell phone vibrating.]
- [Lilly chuckles.]
Who you texting there, girlfriend? No one, Mom.
How's everything? How's school? Normal.
It's school.
Normal.
Okay, well, that's descriptive.
Well, you're in writing mode, I didn't know you wanted to hear my life story.
I always want to hear your life story.
I made your life with my body.
Gross.
Just you know, we haven't had a catch-up in a long time, so Well, we've been busy, both of us.
Yeah, yeah, Charlie and baseball That's like a job.
And my job job, the book.
I mean, I have been so immersed.
- What's it about, anyway? - Baseball, mostly.
You know, just baseball and other other stuff.
Descriptive.
I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk, okay? Always.
[cell phone chimes.]
[upbeat music.]
[giggles.]
[electronic pop music.]
- Ethan! - Guess what.
I made the varsity debate team.
- Wow, that's - Freakin' amazing! Oh, my gosh! Look at my baby! Varsity debater.
- [chuckles.]
That's awesome, Z.
So proud of you.
So, so, so proud of you, baby.
Okay, so first debate when? Um, not till next week, but I have practice all afternoon tomorrow.
- [cell phone chimes.]
- Well, if you get a break, I'm going with Abby to Charlie's game.
It's at the point where every game is the last one.
- Playoffs? - Yes, yes, whatever.
I just want to see that little weirdo hit a ball.
- I'll be pretty busy, I think.
- Oh, okay.
Well, hey, you should come when you're donesie.
Lilly said Jo invited everybody to hang after.
You talked to Lilly? Since when? They met when she came in last week, remember? - Oh.
- I should probably go study.
Okay.
Look at me, honey.
This is what pride looks like Proud mama.
My client has already been quite generous.
The house in Kauai, the chalet in Gstaad, the Jeff Koons My client wants the guitar.
What guitar? Very funny.
You know what guitar.
That guitar is mine! - It was always mine, given to me! - Ron.
Prince gave it to both of them as a wedding gift following his performance at their reception.
A performance that my client paid $1 million for prior to the ceremony, ergo prior to the marriage.
It's community property, Ms.
Banai.
And my client wants it.
My client is prepared to buy out your client's stake in that guitar.
We're listening.
$19.
99.
1999.
Get it? [laughs.]
Yeah, like the song, I get it.
But guess what you're not gonna get.
Why are you doing this, Amber? You hate Prince! Not as much as I hate you.
[rock music.]
Who doesn't love Prince? RIP.
Everybody loves Prince, but she knows how much Ronnie loves that guitar, and keeping it from him is the best way to punish him.
- You are mildly terrifying.
- It's her job.
Mildly terrifying rich people and sharing their stupid wealth with their stupid exes.
And this case is high-profile enough, people at work are finally beginning to get past that Albert gossip and the legal aid for my CUI community service.
Nobody else knows that I have to do it.
They all think I'm doing it to be nice on purpose.
So wait, is that good or bad? I'm guessing good? For office politics, yes.
But the case work is brutal.
And speaking of brutal, Babs, that Mucker lawsuit - It's crazy.
- You don't have to tell me.
- It's a hot mess.
- What the hell's a Mucker? Mucker is my corporate overlord, owns SheShe.
They're being sued up the ass for invasion of privacy.
Sex tape makes Kardashian look bush league.
Or no bush league.
Ha.
[laughter.]
Mucker uploaded it, and now we're all paying.
I don't want to talk about work.
I want to talk about hot kitchen guy, Babs.
Oh, I've heard about him.
Darrell.
- Perfect timing.
- [squeals.]
I want to hear about Babs and her new beau.
- How was Cabo? - It was fun and blissful.
But I want to hear about Babs and Darrell.
- Yummy.
- Pump your breaks, Speed Racer.
We're taking it nice and slow.
We're slow-roasting it.
Phoebe! Did you go to Cabo or prison? Oh, what, this? It's not permanent.
It's just henna.
Gem and I got it after we went horseback riding on the beach.
And then we went snorkeling, and then we went parasailing.
- It felt so good to be so high.
- [mouthing.]
Wow.
And JD is okay with all this frolicking with Gemma? He gets it I mean, he knows a relationship is good for both of our careers.
Hi! Sorry I'm late.
[gasps.]
Phoebe.
- I know.
- It's henna.
Yeah, she and Gemma got them after going horseback riding on the beach.
You should put that in your sexy book, Abs.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- How's the writing? Um, it's good, it's fine, I'm feeling productive.
Did you kill off the coach character yet? - [laughter.]
- No, I have not.
I'm not even mad anymore.
We're done, but my book can diverge from my life.
I am a writer.
I can make stuff up.
It's fiction.
[laughs.]
Hey, Abby, it's okay to be mad.
I mean, I'm mad for you.
He's living with his wife.
Ex-wife I think.
I assume.
But done.
- Onward.
- Good for you.
Well, rear-view mirror him, Abby.
It sounds like he was a mess, anyways.
- Big mess.
- Yep.
But I am just grateful that I got out before I got in too deep or before he got in too deep.
Right? I'm talking about my vagina.
- Oh, we got it.
- Okay, good.
So you haven't talked to him at all? He doesn't even know I know.
It's not worth bringing it up, because, you know, moving on.
I am gonna have to see him at the game tomorrow, though.
- That won't be awkward.
- Yeah, it's gonna be whatever.
He's gonna be in game mode.
He's not even gonna know anybody's there, so Oh, I'll be there.
You got BFF backup if shit goes down, girl.
Thank you very much.
More importantly, I think that Lilly has a love interest.
- [all exclaiming.]
- I don't know who it is yet.
She's just been texting and grinning like a fool.
- Oh, that is so cute.
- That's terrifying.
They're acting so grown-up all of a sudden.
So Zooey made varsity debate team.
- Wow! - Varsity? That's like the travel team for smart people.
I know, right? I was worried the meshuggaas from Frump might derail her, but uh-uh-uh, not my baby, no, she's kicking ass.
- On the rise.
- Yes, they are! All that matters.
[laughter.]
[doorbell rings.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, I got the the Sportade that you asked me to get Lemon-lime.
That's why I'm here To make sure.
It's a joke or an attempt at one.
Can we talk for a second? Um, actually, no.
I'm it's not a good time.
- I'm writing.
- Abby, come on.
You've barely responded to my texts all week.
Is it because of what happened? - Linda catching us - No, it's fine.
- It's fine.
- I'm sorry, okay? - Is that it? - Yeah, look our thing doesn't have to be done.
So you're not gonna tell me that you're still living at home with your wife? [sighs.]
Shit.
- Linda told me.
- Linda? Well, she assumed I knew.
I mean, usually when you are groping somebody in their laundry room, you have already shared pertinent information about your living situation.
You never asked me about my living situation.
I never asked you? Seriously? [chuckles.]
Uh, I'll see you at the game tomorrow, Coach.
[dramatic music.]
Mom? Hey, sweetie.
I know you're writing, but No, um, I am I'm on a break, actually.
Remember when you said that we could talk? Of course, yeah, what is it? [chuckles nervously.]
What's up? It's Zooey.
Mom, she's been mean to me.
But mean how? Just been harassing me on Snapchat and making fun of me at school.
I don't get it.
Zooey being mean, why? I don't know.
Well, I'm gonna talk to Jo, okay? [emotional music.]
Hey, Mitchell, hold up.
You get to read it yet? My column? I sent it to you yesterday.
- What'd you think? - Oh, that.
Yeah, um I liked it a lot.
You know, the part where you kept it real so real.
You didn't read it, did you? What? Of course I did.
Okay, let's talk.
Everything okay? This Mucker lawsuit is giving me a headache the size of my grandma's thimble collection.
- I heard it's bad.
- Night mare.
It is draining company reserves.
And now corporate is squeezing us, asking demanding that we find fresh, exciting ways to increase revenue.
So whatever you heard [whispering.]
Ten times gorier.
Mitchell I think I have an idea.
Recognize it? Uh, wow, it's it's really nice.
I've been a bit locked up lately.
Mm-hmm? And I just focused on our tree, and I got inspired.
Right.
- You hate it, don't you? Tell me - No, no, I don't hate it.
It's just, it's not your brand.
I have a brand? - I thought I was an artist.
- Don't get defensive.
I'm not defensive.
You know I think you are the most talented and everything you do is magic.
- But - But? I have been talking you up to Gemma, like, constantly, and she is coming over for dinner tonight, and she could be a huge potential buyer.
So Just stick to brands.
Do not roll your eyes.
And just, you know, stick to your usual stuff.
I'm excited to finally meet this Gemma that you've been spending all your time with.
Oh, my God, she cannot wait to meet you, and I cannot wait to merge my Gemma with my loving husband.
That makes me so happy.
[doorbell rings.]
Who's ready for baseball? - Hell, yeah, baseball, whoo! - Yeah.
No way would I miss the, uh playoffs? [laughs.]
Thank you, um, for coming.
It means a lot to me and to Charlie, so, um You freaking out about seeing the coach? No, I'm fine about that.
I just, uh There is something I do want to talk to you about.
- It's a little bit sensitive.
- Okay, hit me.
It's about Lilly and Zooey.
Lilly talked to me last night.
She said that Zooey's being mean to her.
"Mean"? What do you mean "mean"? Calling her names on Snapchat and in person.
Wow.
That doesn't sound like Zo.
I know, and that's what I I mean, Lilly and I both said that.
Oh, shit! Ethan.
Ethan? Who He's my new baker.
Zooey's been crushing on him, and you said Lil's got a guy.
- She probably likes him, too.
- That makes sense.
- But still - Yeah, teen hormones.
Total shitshow.
But girls will be girls.
They'll figure it out.
- Yeah.
- Come on, come on.
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! Hell, yeah, baseball! What are you, head ball thrower or something? - That's not a real position.
- Okay.
Can you help me, please? Yeah.
[rock music.]
Oh, that coach is pretty hot.
I see what you see.
Saw.
You sure you're okay? Yeah, no, I'm good.
I told you I'm good.
All right, Warriors, huddle up! This is what we worked for.
This is our moment, and we're ready.
Okay, put your hands in, let 'em know who you are.
All: One, two, three, Warriors! - All right, yeah! - Whoo! All: Steelheads! [cheers and applause.]
Whoo-Hoo! Yeah, Warriors, let's go! Smoke those fish! Yeah, Warriors, smoke 'em! Eat 'em for dinner.
Oh, way to go, honey.
Way to build off mine.
Well, I'm out of practice.
I haven't been to a game all season.
- Uh-oh.
- Who's your kid? Uh, I am here with a friend.
- 2-8.
- 2-8's mom, yeah.
I don't even know my kid's number.
Asher, second base.
Coach's son.
I'm Colette.
Colette Brady.
Hi.
All right, 1-5, We need you scoring! Let's go, let's go! All right! Yes! [cheers and applause.]
Nice hit.
Good focus.
[applause.]
So, uh, why no games this season? You not a big baseball fan? Not really.
Baseball more my husband's department.
Husband? I-I heard that you guys were, uh Divorcing? Oh, nothing stays secret in these bleachers, huh? Kind of why I've been staying away Avoiding the stares.
- Sorry, I didn't mean to - So why did you come today? To this game? Asher asked me to come.
- Can't say no to your kid.
- No.
Colette? [gasps.]
Colette, oh, my God, hi! - Excuse me.
- Linda, babe.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Mwah.
I didn't know you were gonna be here.
God, you look fantastic.
Hi, Abby.
Hi, uh have you met Colette? I Di We did.
We just met, and we have been chatting, small talk, game talk chatter.
And - [whispering.]
Oh, my God.
- No, no, it's good.
- The ex.
- No, it's good.
It's, like, great for my book.
It's a great new character.
Are you kidding me? - I would be dying right now.
- I'm fine.
I am more worried about our girls to be honest About Zooey's behavior.
We covered that.
Yeah, well, clearly, we need to have a larger conversation.
You want to have one right here in the bleachers? Maybe I do.
[cheers and applause.]
Go, Charlie! Yes! Go, Charlie! He's in the dugout.
[upbeat music.]
[doorbell buzzes.]
Hello? Ronnie? Got your text.
Is there something you wanted to discuss? Oh, my God! Thanks for coming.
I did not want to do this over the phone.
Ronnie, this is completely inappropriate.
- This is totally unprofessional! - Surprise! - We're getting back together! - I'm sorry, what was that? We're calling off the divorce.
You were totally at each other's throats yesterday.
Exactly.
It was so hot.
It got us all riled up.
$19.
99 for the guitar? - Mm.
- Genius! Ooh, careful, babe! Guitar.
I'm really happy for you both, but this is a really big decision.
I don't think you should make it rashly.
That's how we like it.
Rash, bruised, rough.
Oh, my God.
Okay, excuse me, I really need to have a word here with my client With your husband, sorry.
Please.
[whispering.]
You can't be serious.
How many times have you told me what a toxic nightmare she is? It's only a matter of time before she does something to hurt you again trust me.
This is always how these things end up.
Nah.
We'll be fine.
[chuckles.]
Oh.
.
I guess this means you're fired.
[Amber chuckles.]
All right, Warriors, hustle up! Take your positions.
[sighs.]
Hey.
Can you give me a minute? I'm just trying to go to the restroom.
And you could've given me the heads-up that your wife was gonna be at the game.
Ex-wife.
Look, me and her, our situation I You know what? You have stuff.
You have a lot of stuff, but it's not my stuff.
So maybe we should move on.
Season's almost over.
We should just call it.
That's what you want? That's what I want.
SheShe's target demo is women in their 30s and 40s.
Our advertisers already play to that audience.
But what if we offered advertiser-sponsored "behind the scenes" on our hottest features? So you finish reading an article, you click on the "SheShe Insider" link, like so, a quick ad plays, and then you get to find out some fun behind-the-scenes tidbits Meaning our writers hold back a few juicy details about how they got the story, and then our readers only get them after watching a short ad.
I'm in our demo.
There's no way I'm not clicking that link.
Hell, I'll click on two links if it means finding out what Kerry Washington eats to minimize morning sickness.
[laughter.]
We'll discuss internally.
Uh, how did you come up with this? - Well - Oh, SheShe is a very creative place.
Barbara and I were kind of bouncing around some ideas and just Pshew It just kind of happened.
Impressive work.
Thank you, sir.
Yay us! "Yay us"? Hey, we have got to make them feel good about us as a site A team.
I will follow up with them tomorrow.
Great work.
Ah, shit, this place needs a scoreboard.
Are we still at, uh Down by one, last inning, two outs.
You got this little contact, little knock right here.
Come on, Andy.
Come on.
Mike doesn't like chain-grabbers.
Oh, yeah, I can't I'm one, too.
The worst.
Come on, Ash, you got this, kiddo! Strike! I'm, uh I'm sorry about earlier.
I didn't mean to come off as so insensitive, you know, asking about your marital situation.
I-I got divorced recent recently.
It was it was really hard on the whole family.
Yeah.
Talk about protecting your kids.
I just want to keep their lives as normal as possible.
Yeah.
My ex and I We went through so much.
Um, there was, like, a lot of ups and downs and, you know, "will they/won't they"? It was, uh, a lot of complex complexity.
Yeah.
It's, uh It's a roller coaster.
Yeah.
Oh, oh! Yes, baby! There we go! There we go! Wow! Wow, that was amazing.
Last at-bat, season's on his shoulders.
Come on, little guy! All right, Charlie! You can do it! Strike! [light applause.]
Strike! [light applause.]
You got this! Focus.
Let's go, 2-8.
Strike three! That's the game.
Oh, God.
Ah.
2-8, look at me.
Coach, I lost it.
I lost the whole game for us.
No, no, you didn't.
You played hard.
You left it all out there.
I'm proud of you.
You had a great season.
We had a great season.
Yeah.
All: One, two, three, Steelheads! Sweetie, you did a damn good job.
Damn good job.
I'm so proud of you, honey.
[emotional music.]
There you go, slugger.
Oh, honey bear.
This must be hard.
The Warriors, its been a big part of your life for a while now, and now it's over.
It's okay to be sad.
- Endings are tough.
- Wow, this cupcake's amazing! - Yeah? - Go into the kitchen.
- Ethan will get you another one.
- Yeah.
All right, sweetie, well, it's okay to feel your feelings.
You know, everything's gonna be okay.
[sighs.]
Poor guy.
Yeah, he seems pretty broken up.
You, on the other hand, I'm sure you're relieved.
No more Mike drama.
Oh, yes, I am relieved.
- I am extremely relieved.
- I did not say that.
Yes, you did.
You said that yesterday.
- I did not.
You're such a liar.
- No, you said that yesterday.
[giggling.]
I didn't.
Okay, my theory's correct.
There's a love triangle going on.
Yeah, one that Zooey's on the outside of.
You don't know that.
Get you a refill.
Maybe Lilly's just trying to move in on Ethan because Zooey is, you know Jo, enough.
Lilly was really upset.
- She seems fine.
- Now.
But before, when she told me, she was near tears.
Well, Lilly, she's a little Lilly's a little what? She's a tiny bit overprotected, just coddled, and that's fine.
That's your parental choice I just think sometimes you got to let the kids get dirty and figure it out.
Well, that is easy for you to say, when my daughter's the one getting all the dirt on her.
Your hands-off parenting technique is not gonna cut it this time.
How about you worry about your kid, I worry abut mine? I am worried about my kid because your kid is bullying her! Bullying? Wow! That's a buzzword.
Why can't you acknowledge Because Zooey's been through hell.
So I'm sorry if she's less than sweet.
But now it is affecting my daughter.
If you don't talk to Zooey, I will.
Mommy, can I have another one? You can have anything you want.
Yay.
JD, that dinner I mean, my taste buds, mmm! You know what? I need a JD of my very own.
He's pretty amazing.
Well, I may be willing to share.
[giggles.]
Phoebe, I thought this was gonna be a respectable evening? [mellow music.]
Besides, I'm a selfish bitch.
I never really learned how to share.
- Where'd you learn, JD? - To share? - No, to cook.
- My mom.
Oh, what's her specialty? - Take-out.
- [laughs.]
That's how I learned.
If I wanted a decent meal, I had to.
I'm not too good in the kitchen either.
Oh, stop it.
You're amazing at everything else.
JD, your wife is my favorite person - Aw.
- In case you couldn't tell.
- [laughs.]
- Mine too.
Oh, my God, you two, so adorable.
Well, JD, we've tasted your cooking.
Let's see what else you can do with those hands.
Honestly I'm not crazy about this one.
I feel like I've seen it before.
Well you've been spending a lot of time with the subject.
Good one.
I'm just not into the overtness of the sexuality.
I like my sex more veiled.
- What else you got? - Uh, let's see.
Some of his portraits have more nuance.
Or I just finished something new.
I'm intrigued.
Show me.
[tense music.]
Now, this I'm absolutely obsessed with.
You like it? Wow.
Thank you.
It's a delight.
I mean, it's just so bold in its simplicity.
That's exactly right.
Amazing.
JD is always shaking it up.
He never stays on one topic too long.
- Thanks, Phoebe.
- You're welcome, babe.
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, how was the game? Oh, Charlie's team lost, but it was great.
It was exciting.
How was debate practice? Good.
So great.
Mm-hmm.
Listen, honey, do you have a sec? - Can we chat? - Oh, um, yeah.
But is Ethan here? - He said that I should stop by - He's in the kitchen, but- - Okay.
- Zooey He said it was for the good of the site, so what can I say to that? That Mitchell really pisses me off.
I know, but there's nothing I can do he's my boss.
But you can't let him walk all over you.
That was your idea, and you need to make sure it's acknowledged.
You deserve respect.
You've earned it there.
[loud crash.]
- What the hell, Zooey? - What's going on? She pushed me! She's insane! Mom, she had her hands all over him! - That dirty slut! - Jo, you see this? - This is it! - I will deal with this.
No, you won't, and that is the problem! He's never gonna want to be with you.
Look at you, you're a child! Well, at least I'm not huge like you I'm surprised you can stand up straight! Hey, Zooey, don't! What about what she said to me? Hey, C-man, can I get you on the patio, please? Thank you.
Zooey, no matter what you are feeling, physical violence is never okay! - Do not lecture - Enough! You, problem, move it out.
Lilly, follow your brother, please.
Zooey, a separate corner.
Thank you.
- You happy? Are you happy now, Jo? Because this is what happens when you don't There you go with the mommy lecturing again! - In front of you! - Okay, ladies, take a breath! You are like an ostrich with your stupid head buried in the sand.
You daughter is obsessed! Obse you're the one that's obsessed! I'm obsessed? Oh, yeah, you are obsessed with the coach.
You have these cartoon hearts coming out of your eyes! The last time I saw you like this, you married the guy! Who really has her head in the sand? Good talk.
Uh, Lilly took Charlie home.
Where's Zooey? Barbara gave her a lift.
And lover boy? I sent him home, too.
I'm sorry what I said about you and the coach.
I'm sorry what happened just now with the kids.
I kind of lost my shit.
I'm sorry, too.
I didn't really handle it very well either.
Me not wanting to see what was happening I just I wanted her to be all right, and I thought she was.
[sighs.]
She's okay.
She is tough and smart, and she's a good person, Jo.
That's big of you to say.
Poor Lilly.
She'll be all right.
At least she got the guy.
Can you believe it? Our daughters fighting over a guy.
They're just like us.
- Who did we fight for? - Uh, you were totally into Jake.
That is such a lie! Although, his aimless quality, I did appreciate.
But I never fought you for him.
Come on.
I conceded real fast.
Because you knew it was a love story for the ages.
- Forever.
- Forever.
It's disconcerting, huh? Our kids being hornballs? That, and that I'm going through menopause, and I'm still as boy-crazy as ever.
And I'm not gonna marry him, but You got the feels going on? I knew he was going through a tough divorce, and I deluded myself into thinking that I had something different with him.
Ugh.
New, easy.
I just don't know if I can go down that road with him.
I don't like what it brings out in me Neurotic Abby.
I guess we never really change.
I actually think you're doing pretty well.
[emotional music.]
[sighs.]
Came home and found it like this.
Oh, no.
Amber.
She says it wasn't her, but who else would want to hurt me like this? She played me just so she could ruin the thing that I care for most my baby.
What do you want to do? I want to leave her with nothing.
[sighing.]
That could not have gone any better.
- She loved you.
- She was cool.
I know.
I thought for a second she was gonna buy the squirrels.
No, Gemma never buys anything right away.
She has to let a piece exist in her soul before she commits it to her physical space.
Trust me, this was forward movement.
[chuckling.]
Okay.
I'll take your word for it unless you change your mind.
What was that? Sorry, forget it.
No, JD, we've talked about this.
If you're angry, just express yourself.
I just you said before that you didn't like that painting.
- I never said that.
- You said it was "off brand.
" Why are you finger quoting? Like, brand isn't a thing.
I guess I just miss when you had an opinion.
I want to know what you think of my work, not what you think that Gemma might think.
Anticipating what other people think is my job.
I am a consultant.
My opinion it doesn't matter.
I think that you can do your job and be my wife at the same time.
Yeah, well, I think that you're being really naive.
[somber music.]
Good night, Phoebe.
[door opens.]
[exhales sharply.]
Hey.
Mom, I know that getting into a fight with Zooey was not good, and It's just that she physically attacked me Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just relax.
Jo is talking to Zooey right now, and I am so sorry that she said all those mean things to you.
And you're beautiful, by the way.
But empathy moment Zooey's been going through a lot.
And clearly, she also has a crush on Ethan.
I don't have a crush.
Lilly It's more than that for me.
I really like him.
We make each other laugh, Mom, and he gets me, and, we get each other.
The other boys I meet, they're not It's hard to find.
Yes, it is.
And I know that everything with Jo and Zooey is messed up, but I think it's worth going for.
- Good.
- Okay, I'm gonna go to bed.
- [both chuckle.]
- Well, give me a hug first.
[both giggle.]
Good night, sweetie.
I don't want to talk about it.
Too bad.
You gave up that choice when you treated your friend like human garbage.
I'm going to bed.
I have debate tomorrow, and I need to get Screw the debate.
We're debating right here.
You come sit down.
Zooey please try to help me understand this.
I know running into your father and these past couple of months, him coming and going from rehab, it has been rough.
It's not just that.
It's everything.
I go to school, and I'm stressed.
I come home to you and Dad, and I'm stressed.
I'm always stressed.
School? What are you talking about? You're doing great.
"Great" isn't good enough.
A 4.
0 is, like, nothing now, okay? You need a million extracurriculars and APs to even be considered by top colleges.
Ethan he was the one thing that almost made me happy.
And then Lilly just swooped in.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, sweetie.
I didn't realize.
But that is no excuse to bully your friend.
There have to be consequences.
What you did and how you acted is not okay.
- Not okay for whom? - It's not okay for anybody.
Including you? You call people names all the time.
You bully people Dad, Scott, your friends.
You don't think I see that? I'm just learning from the master.
[dramatic music.]
[Door slams.]
Hey.
- Morning.
- Morning.
So I have some news.
Um, Gemma called, and she invited us to her lodge, uh, up north next weekend.
- That's nice of her.
- Yeah.
A bunch of people are going I mean, her crowd.
Could be a really cool experience.
But I will only go if you want to, and if you are not into it No.
Let's do it.
Great.
I didn't think you'd want to.
- Why, 'cause I'm naive? - I am sorry abut that.
I was tired.
I wasn't myself.
You were right.
I was being naive.
This trip will be good for us great for our careers.
Yeah.
Heard about Ronnie.
Congrats.
How did you get him to change his mind? Oh, you know, he changed his own mind.
Delia, come on.
I saw that you billed the firm investigator.
You want to tell me what that was for? I didn't want to lose this case, Albert.
I didn't want to lose this client, so I just did what I had to do.
[sighs.]
This was gonna happen eventually.
Ronnie and Amber.
Nothing lasts forever.
You're not wrong there.
Sherry and I are getting a divorce.
Sorry, that's too bad.
Yeah too long in this place can warp you.
Ruthless behavior starts to seem like it's no big deal.
But I don't have to tell you that after what I did.
I acted like I knew what was best for you, and there's no excuse.
Anyway You are a great lawyer.
You don't need tricks.
[dramatic music.]
Mitchell, can we talk? Just the woman I have been looking for.
Please.
Corporate called, and they are into it.
They want to launch "Insider" features across all of their sites ASAP.
They do? Wow.
- Great work, Barbara.
And I made sure to tell them it was all you, rock star.
Oh, BTW, some not so good news to go with the yay.
We are gonna hold a beat on that raise.
Wait, I come up with a way to make the company money, - and I'm rewarded with a pay cut? - It is not a pay cut.
Just the raise we gave you isn't happening.
It's been happening for weeks.
We all need to make sacrifices.
How about you? You taking a pay cut? I'm not sure I like your tone there.
[chuckling.]
I'm sorry, Mitchell, no.
No to this.
I work too hard to take this kind of disrespect.
What Barbara, wait.
- What's happening here? - I'm quitting.
Come on, don't be impulsive.
You have got a good thing here, okay? Out there, that is a bad economy.
The economy's fine, Mitchell.
Are you sure you want to compete for jobs with people half your age? Oh, my God.
[laughs.]
You are making a huge mistake! I guess we'll find out.
Buh-bye.
[doorbell rings.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Thanks for coming.
- Sure.
I was surprised to get your text.
Can I come in this time? Yeah, the kids are all out, so please come in.
- Look, Abby - Wait.
Let me go first.
- You and me, it was fun - I'm moving out.
What? Already? I found a place.
I'll see if I get it.
- Wow, for me? - For me.
I thought you were out.
You made that pretty clear at the game.
I got your text when I was filling out the application for the new place.
- Huh.
- Timing is everything.
I should've told you about my situation, but we were just feeling each other out, and But I'll be on my own now, so So maybe we can feel each other out a little bit more? That's what I'm saying.
If you are drinking It's late I know But, baby, I ain't wasted Can't you call me? Can't get along Can't be alone - Hey.
- Hey.
Where's your mind at? Are you on your own? I know it's been a long time since you've been with someone new, and Abby? Mike? We got this.
Don't you feel alone? Yeah, we do.
Tell me, won't you give us One more try 'Cause I I think about I think about you - [laughs.]
- 'Cause I I think about I think about you