I Am Jazz (2015) s03e06 Episode Script
Face Your Demons
1 Jazz: Previously on "I Am Jazz" Jazz: "It's absolutely horrific that a child would be given hormone blockers when a teenage girl or boy would never be ethically allowed to be neutered.
" Jazz has always been a target for hate, but since she's really active in social media, it's only gotten worse.
I really don't think there's any problems with my life that I'm not aware of.
I worry, 'cause Jazz suffers from clinical depression.
You think some random individual who doesn't even know who I am internally and doesn't know my thought processes will have the answers to my questions? No! Have you ever heard of dating in the dark? Like, legit, where people date in the dark? Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Do you mind if I get your number? Sure.
It's the first time in my entire life that a guy has asked for my number.
So I'm really excited and I'm hoping that he texts me.
Jazz: 16 years ago, I was assigned male at birth, but inside, I always knew I was a girl.
I have a girl brain and a boy body.
Being transgender hasn't been easy.
This is definitely not, like, a straightforward case.
I don't think you have many options for a vaginoplasty.
- I had a great time.
- I had a lot of fun.
Have a great night.
- Now, it sounds like a date.
- It's not a date! But it's made me who I am.
I am Jazz.
Jazz: This drew my eye right away.
Do you like red? Red actually suits me well.
I'm going shopping with Jay, and since we go to different schools, it's just a great way for us to catch up.
I'm a velvet girl.
I think I look whiter in red, so I wouldn't wear it.
She always listens to what I have to say.
I appreciate all of her advice and I tell her everything.
So you never told me about the dating in the dark thing.
How was that? Um I'm just going to go back in the dark for this one.
No, it went well, it did.
It was really cool.
So was it actually dark or could you see shadows or something? Okay, no, it was like pitch-black, basically.
So did you actually meet anybody that you like? Um Maybe.
Tell me.
Who did you meet? There was only one guy that, like, I really, really liked.
His name was Shane.
Was he cute in the light or? I thought he was really, really nice.
And then he asked for my number.
- He asked for your number? - He asked for my number.
That's so cool.
Is this the first time a guy has ever asked you for your number? Yeah, it's definitely kind of cool.
I'm pretty happy that Noelle recommended dating in the dark to me.
And the fact that Shane asked for my number is the cherry on top.
And I'm hoping that he calls me.
I don't know if anything's going to work out with this guy, but it's still exciting, right? Yeah.
I'm happy you did it.
It sounds like Shane's a really cool person, very unique.
I haven't heard of many cisgender guys accepting her being transgender.
And hopefully, it just works out.
Oh, and he likes cats.
Oh, that's good for you, 'cause you have like three cats and I go over your house and I die, 'cause of those things.
I actually have four cats.
Oh, yeah.
[Both laugh.]
Jeanette: I want to make the bed look pretty before we go into it.
Am I doing this right? Am I supposed to go under the blanket? Yeah, and under the sheet, yeah.
- Okay.
- Like that.
Anyway, we got so busy with pride, I didn't tell you about Jazz dating in the dark.
She went with four complete strangers, like, and put herself out there and actually enjoyed it.
And she made a connection.
He was named Shane.
[Laughs.]
- Another Shane.
- That's a coincidence.
Yeah.
And he asked for her phone number.
- She give it to him? - Yeah.
Like a cis boy, a sweet cis boy You get the sense she's interested? I don't know.
Like, with her, she's sort of like, she doesn't know.
I'm favorably impressed that someone who's not transgender, knowing everything about Jazz, still said, "I'd like your phone number.
" This is one small step for Jazz and one giant step for Jazz-kind.
[Both laugh.]
I'm going to kind of not push her too much, but That's a good idea.
She's got a lot going on, I mean, unreal.
She does.
In fact, tomorrow is the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I don't know if you remembered, but No, I remember.
Jeanette: Transgender Day of Remembrance is honoring those people who, during the past 365 days, have lost their life.
It's sad, 'cause they're going to list the names of people who were murdered.
We pay tribute to them and get together and have a memorial to remember them.
So you can't get out of it this time.
I'm not trying to get out of it.
It's just very hard, as a dad, to think of that situation.
One of the reasons I haven't gone to Transgender Day of Remembrance in the past is because the purpose of the day is thinking about people that have been murdered just for being transgender.
And it's very hard for me to think of Jazz in that context.
And, you know, it's something that I've had to come to terms with, and I really just need to be there to support Jazz.
I just feel like we have so much going on.
And how is it affecting you? I'm just stressed.
We've got the bottom surgery stuff looming.
Dr.
Reed saying one thing, then you have Dr.
McGinn saying something else.
And then Dr.
salgado really going polar from what Dr.
McGinn says, so Even though this has been our lives for the last like 13, 14 years, taking hormones or letting Jazz wear a dress to school is nothing compared to major surgery.
Huge decisions are being made and it's overwhelming.
My stomach's in knots a little bit.
Maybe you should talk to someone.
Why not cousin Debbie? - She has some insights.
- She certainly does.
She knows most of these situations that are going on.
I never really get to chill with her one-on-one.
Well, maybe you set aside some time if she's willing to.
Yeah.
I'm struggling with the decision.
Like, where are we going? How do we make our final decision? And Debbie is a great person to talk to about this because she has many patients who are transgender who've had surgery and she's been there counseling them.
Greg: I got some good news.
Jazz: What? Especially good news for Mom.
I like good news.
I signed us up for this scuba course.
Yay.
- We're all set to go.
- I'm excited.
Greg: With the kids up at college, very rarely do we ever just spend time as a family.
So I wanted to go on a family vacation to make the most of our time together.
Why can't we just go to an aquarium and call it a day? I've never, ever thought about going scuba diving.
Even when I'm in the ocean, I'm always afraid something's going to bite me or touch me or Well, I think scuba diving is a great, natural excursion for us as a family.
Wait, wait a minute.
Natural to be underwater, not breathing your own breath? Okay.
You got me on the The breathing device, but There's nothing natural about scuba diving.
Jazz: You've never been to the Transgender Day of Remembrance, right? I've never gone before.
I think about you and your advocacy work and I think about this day, and it's probably the single most significant day of the year.
And I just never can get myself to go in the past.
I'm glad that my dad is coming to the Transgender Day of Remembrance, because he has expressed that, you know, it's really difficult for him to comprehend the struggles that transgender people face and he's scared because he knows that I'm at just as much risk as any other transgender person out there.
Unfortunately, in U.
S.
A.
, the number of people that have been murdered goes up every year.
That's what's so sad.
Like, it's supposed to be going down.
That's just too bad.
- It's sad.
- No, there should not have to be a Transgender Day of Remembrance.
That would be great.
But there is one.
- Ah! - Hey! Good to see you.
I'm really excited to see my friend Lynn.
She's also transgender, but she hasn't been transitioning that long.
I'm Noelle.
It's nice to meet you.
Oh, yeah, this is Noelle.
I forgot.
This is Lynn, by the way.
So I met Lynn at a PSA.
I did a public service announcement with her.
Sometimes my mom, because she's very religious, she'll tell me, that there's a demon inside of me.
And it kind of feels It's just really difficult.
Oh, no, I don't want to get so emotional, but, you know, I've been so thankful to have the love and support of my family.
Noelle: How was the PSA for you? By doing the PSA, it just felt really relieving, because when I came out to my mom, I was too scared to face her, really.
I like, wrote her a letter.
I expressed, "I'm just me, at this point.
Like, I am who I am right now.
" And then we just got into an argument after that.
It really hurts that my mom's not being supportive of my transition.
She's just so fixated on the fact that I'm not normal.
She believes that god created me a certain way.
But if god created me a certain way, then why do I feel like this? It's just come to the point where it's like, I don't want to start any conflicts.
So so you just don't discuss it at all? But does she use male pronouns? She uses male pronouns.
What do you do? Do you speak up? Yeah, sometimes I will.
And what does she say to that? She just ignores me.
- For real? - Yeah.
Jazz: I can't imagine how tough it is for Lynn, because I know if her mother sees her wearing nail Polish, she gets scolded.
If her mother sees any girl clothes, then she'll be grounded.
And it's just really upsetting, because this is denying who Lynn really is.
Never give up, okay? 'Cause I know I know it can be hard.
You have me and I know you have other really close friends and, you know, things will get better.
Because I've been living my life as a girl for so long, I feel like it's my obligation to take, you know, other trans kids like Lynn under my wing.
I just want to be there to stand by her side.
Is the bullying getting better? There are times where people would just like, come up to me and call me tranny or something.
But at least you get to be here today.
Yeah.
Everyone here is trans, everyone here can understand what, like, all of us are going through.
I can sympathize with Lynn, because I've been transitioning for almost two years now.
But I've developed sort of a thick skin to people's hate.
Whoever and no matter where it comes from, it hurts.
We can stop bullying if we spread awareness.
I know, like, I've done little things like videos, like Facebook lives.
I think Facebook live would be a great thing for Lynn to participate in, because she has a perspective that Noelle and I can't offer.
She doesn't have the support of her family.
Online communities can be a great place for kids who are getting bullied or feel like they are outsiders.
And I think that Lynn has a very powerful voice.
- You want to do it? - Yeah, I'm down.
Let's go.
- Yeah! - [Laughs.]
We're going to do this thing with Noelle that's like a Facebook live chat.
You can't really control who's watching a Facebook live and there might be a lot of people who disagree with what Jazz is saying.
This sounds like a recipe for some not such nice calls.
Today, we come together to reflect every member, our brothers and sisters, who have met their death through anti-transgender hatred.
Each year, we become more aware of the atrocities that our transgender community suffers at the hands of those who fail to realize that people are people and love is love.
Jazz: I can't comprehend how in this world, just by being myself, I am a target for possible violent bullies.
This is a special community that has suffered through the worst possible discrimination.
As we remember those we've lost, I want to focus on the brave, strong, and honorable ways they lived as their true selves.
Greg: Just the fact that there's a Transgender Day of Remembrance each year is just It's just horrible to even think about.
Why should a community have to go through that year after year after year? First of all, I'm very humble to be here today.
I'm sad to be here today.
Um I knew at seven years old, when they were trying to get me to play basketball and football and speaking to me in a tone I didn't understand, but I could understand when they spoke to my sisters, I knew I was different.
I was the first male child in three generations.
And I decided I had to try everything manly possible, and I joined the army at 17.
On a leave, I went into a drag bar, and a young entertainer came to me and said, "where'd you get those cheek bones from? Girls will kill for those cheek bones.
" [Light laughter.]
So I've never really got the passable word thing, 'cause I've never thought I was passable.
[Voice breaking.]
I wake up every morning ashamed.
I wake up every morning guilty.
Embarrassment is the worst feeling and does more damage than hate does, people.
Greg: It was very emotional listening to Shawn.
I know that in a way, Jazz has things easier by having a loving, supporting family and having a roof over her head, which not all transgender people do.
And I feel sadness knowing there's a significant part of the transgender population that has a very difficult time.
No matter how many times I've heard horror stories of those people that have struggled within the transgender community, it's still overwhelming.
There's so much pain and hurt out there and we need to keep advocating for trans people.
You guys ready to be aqua men and women? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm aqua excited.
We got away from our classes for a weekend, so it's awesome to go scuba diving and spend some time with family.
Who's looking forward to this? I'm excited.
Isn't this on your bucket list, Jeanette? - No.
- It's on mine.
You know what? There's certain things that you save for when you're older.
And you miss the window of opportunity and you just keep going by.
It's okay.
What have you guys been up to at home? Anything change down here? I mean, we had the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I got to see my friend Lynn and we're going to do this thing with Noelle that's, like a Facebook live chat.
It's going to be, like, about bullying.
Is it just questions You read questions and then answer or? Well, they, people, they ask questions.
Also, we're going to have, like, a phone where people could call in.
On the live Facebook? Yeah.
But it sounds like a recipe for some not such nice calls.
So what exactly do you hope to accomplish by this video chat? 'Cause it feel like it's definitely a recipe for possible hate mail.
- Hate calls.
- I mean You can't really control who's watching a Facebook live and there might be a lot of people who disagree with what Jazz is saying.
Jazz: My goal is that, you know, people will watch it and it'll give hope and encouragement to kids out there who may be getting bullied.
In the past, I've been confronted with hate.
You know, either it's the radio show or the Liberty council.
So you never know about these things.
Griffen: We're here! Time to go scuba diving! Man: Hey, guys, how's it going? You guys are the Jennings? You're here for your discovery scuba diving? - Yes, we are.
- Awesome.
Well, my name's Tyler.
I'm going to be your instructor today.
We can actually head right back to the pool, if you'd like? - Great.
- Sounds perfect.
- Okay.
- Let's ride.
I think the family's going to have a great time.
It's it's different.
It's nothing like anything we've done before.
We're just going to be out of our own element and in an element you only really see on TV, unless you do it.
Or an aquarium.
All right, guys, so everybody in your right hand, you should have the regulator.
Everyone's going to stick it in your mouth and you're going to take three deep breaths, okay.
- Yep, just like that.
- It tastes weird.
- [Honks.]
- It's salty.
[Both laugh.]
It's like [Pants.]
And then I had, like, flashbacks to when I was pumping breast milk, because it sounded the exact same way.
There was this machine I had to hook myself up to and it went Heh-huh, heh-huh, heh-huh.
All right, guys.
Who's ready to take a few breaths underwater? Let's do it.
You're going to take the tongue, stick it up against the hole, the breathing hole here, okay, and you're going to press the purge button.
And you can see all the water get shot out of it, right.
Aaah! Sorry.
I just see her eyes popping out of the goggles.
Great job.
Now you feel the air? We're not quite ready to go into the ocean yet.
All right, guys, regulators in.
Let's go ahead and kneel down.
[Laughter.]
Guys, there's no wall in the ocean.
Jeanette: On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being somebody super-coordinated, I'm like a 3.
5.
What'd I do wrong now? I'm sorry.
You're supposed to just watch me.
Oh, okay.
It's very important you keep the regulator in your mouth, - all right.
- Okay.
Jeanette: Yeah, Greg, who was the best and worst of the scuba diving lesson? Greg: I would say, if I had to rank the family, in terms of best and worst in the scuba diving Start with the worst.
Make it easy.
The worst was you.
Oops.
Did I just say that? [Laughs.]
We went scuba diving the other day.
Debbie: How did you do that?! I [laughs.]
Oh, no.
But, honestly, Debbie, I'm doing this for the family.
I'm just like, "take me to a fricking aquarium.
" I've got a little of Jacky in me.
You know, like, if I want to see the fish, I'll go through one of those, like, you know, the conveyor belt, they move you along I love those.
Yeah, and, like, that's enough for me.
Jeanette: Debbie is my cousin.
She is a therapist and she specializes in the transgender community.
She's got a way with words and she's got a way with people.
She's very therapeutic to talk to and given all the stress in my life, I could really use help.
Anyway, so the real reason I wanted to talk to you is because I'm really overwhelmed.
We want Jazz to have her dream, beautiful vagina.
Mm-hmm.
And we want her to be able to have a healthy sex life.
But there is a complication.
She is so suppressed that nothing grew, and there's one doctor that will not do a penile inversion, does not recommend it.
But one of the doctors that we're leaning toward, out of town, said that she would do a penile inversion.
Well, research has gotten that far.
That's the good news, that we do have more options and with more options, there's going to be more anxiety.
How do we know the right thing to do? It's sort of like back when Jazz was little.
How do we know? When Jazz was first transitioning and I went to look for help to see if anybody had transitioned, like, their 4- or 5-year-olds, and I couldn't find anybody.
It was really scary.
It was like the unknown.
And now here we are again, Jazz is looking to have her bottom surgery and it's a little difficult, because I really haven't heard about a lot of surgeries on suppressed youth.
And the other thing is, when do we do the surgery? Yeah.
A lot of kids want to get it done over the summer, between senior year and the first year of college.
Mm-hmm.
Don't think that's the best idea.
But I think I want to take like, a one-year break anyway.
Just knowing her personality, I just don't think it's the best for her mentally.
I think she could go to high school and still do what she needs to do medically that senior year.
She gets the surgery and takes a year off in between high school and college, you know, she gets in her head.
- I do.
- So she's laying in bed and not doing anything but watching TV, that's going to get a little old after a while.
And then she's going to get depressed and then go into another dark cloud That's a very real fear.
Jeanette: I'm extremely worried about Jazz falling into a depression after the surgery.
And I think sitting at home, day after day, dilating or, you know, recovering, is just not good for who she is as a person.
I just I think it's a bad idea.
I don't know what to do.
Jeanette's in a really difficult place, because she wants to do the right thing and it's hard to know what the right thing is.
I think she needs a lot more information and she might have to be in an uncomfortable position for a little while.
Don't leave any stone unturned.
Talk to everyone.
Support groups are available.
I know that.
I know that they are.
Mm-hmm.
And I think this would be a really great idea for you to know that there's someone, even in a similar situation, someone who may be able to connect you with someone else.
- Yeah.
- It think it'd be a great thing.
Jeanette: Even Debbie doesn't have a crystal ball.
Nobody has any way of knowing what's going to happen.
We just don't.
But I think it could be really helpful to get some feedback from other family members or parents of trans kids who are faced with these really difficult decisions.
Okay, let's go live.
I am a little bit nervous because anything live is Live.
All right, so we have a caller.
Man: Of course, you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
Big, old lights.
Uhh.
Oh, my goodness.
You're really taking this serious.
Uhh.
The lights make you look pretty.
Watch out for my chandelier.
Oh, sorry.
Jazz: I've done a few Facebook lives in the past before, but it's usually been with a media outlet or just some type of news source.
But now I'm going to do it in my own home, set it up myself, and it's going to be fun.
- Hey.
- Hi.
How are you? Noelle: Hey, Jazz.
Hey.
You excited? I'm glad you could be a part of this.
I'm glad I can be, too.
Jazz: It's really sad when trans youth are not in a comfortable and safe environment and a lot of them haven't met or heard from another transgender person before, so it's really great that we have the opportunity to do this and we're just going to try to help them as much as possible.
This is where we're going to look at the comments from and then this is where we're going to take calls from, 'cause we're taking calls.
I am a little bit nervous, because anything live is Live, and it is unmoderated.
So there is a chance that a hater may call in.
And even though I have a thick skin when it comes to haters saying awful things, I don't know how it is for Lynn and Noelle.
Hello.
Lynn: Hi, how you doing? - Oh, you look lovely.
- Thank you.
Hola.
Oh, my gosh, you look so cute.
Thank you, boo.
What I hope to accomplish today is just to have people know that we're there for them and just for them to know that you're not alone in this world.
Girls, we're going to sit over here.
If you need anything, we'll be right there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Have fun.
Let me know if you need anything.
- You guys nervous? - Yeah.
Okay, let's go live.
We're having an open discussion about bullying, because as three trans people, it clearly affects our lives and we're also willing to go beyond the discussion of bullying in general.
So my name is Jazz and then I have my friend Lynn here and Noelle.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I guess I will share that most of the bullying that I face is online, cyberbullying.
On social media, I see a lot of these comments that are just so negative, so cruel, and are really hurtful.
I try not to look at them, but, you know, at the end of the day, they're still there.
It shows me that there's more work to be done and that society isn't fully accepting people like us who are transgender, who just happen to be transgender.
I also have faced struggles.
One day on Instagram, I did see a picture of me with a very rude caption.
At that point, I was suffering from very bad depression.
That honestly hit me very hard.
And I guess that's what we're here to share today.
Oh, we have a caller.
Hello? Most of the bullying I face is often from adults, actually.
Kids are more open to change and new ideas, but adults, they're a little bit stuck in terms of their belief system.
So adults have bullied me, and it's sometimes intimidating.
Jeanette: The adults are the ones that set the rules, not the kids.
You can't use the bathroom.
That's an adult rule, not a child rule.
You know, little, tiny Jazz, when she was playing soccer in the beginning, these are all adults saying, "you have to sit on the sidelines and can't play.
" One of our first questions is from Sarah and she wants to know how we can support our friends when they are transitioning if they don't know what pronouns to use? You guys have any thoughts on that? I feel like you should ask them.
Like, I mean, asking's always okay for somebody.
At least you're acknowledging them and telling them like, "oh, you know, how do I do this, so I don't, like, offend you in a way?" Yeah.
Oh, okay, so people are curious, at what age did you two know that you were trans? I knew ever since I could differentiate boy from girl.
So I-I internalized that a lot, I pushed it away.
I eventually acknowledged that I was transgender when I was 13 years old, but I feel that I did know all my life.
How about you, Lynn? The time that I acknowledged that I was transgender was around the ages between 10 and 12, when I was around in middle school.
So I had these friends who would Like, we'd always do feminine things, I enjoyed it.
Like, I thoroughly enjoyed, you know, being more feminine.
That's who I was as a person.
Yeah.
All right, we have a call from Denmark.
Oh, my god.
Hello.
- Bottom surgery.
- Bottom surgery.
- Bottom surgery.
- Let's talk about it.
I mean, normally, this is pretty personal, but since we want to try to be a educational as possible, I'll say for me, I have been going on a few consultations now, and it's been really, really exciting.
You know, I've wanted this my whole life, so it's really cool to just, like, finally embark upon this journey.
For me, I'm not I'm not quite sure yet, but it's best to learn about everything that you might do, so that when you do want to follow through with the procedure, you'll be prepared and you'll be ready for it.
I have a mother who doesn't really accept me and neither a father, so my social worker at school, she's actually helping me with my transition.
Like, she's giving me the contacts, who to call, and, like, some people who could help me out and, like, sign me off for hormones when I turn 18.
All right, so we have a caller.
Hello, new person.
Man: Hi.
Am I online? - You are online.
- Yes, you are.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just I want to say, I think this is all basically just one big load of crap.
Y'all are just trying to get attention.
I mean, we all have problems.
Just, you know, cut the crap, man up.
Of course you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
Man: Y'all are just trying to get attention.
Of course you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
All right, well, I would say, the first thing that is Yeah, I'm going to hang up on you first and then we could address that person.
So, you know, I think you're just being completely disrespectful.
You're jumping to conclusions without educating yourself, and understand that we are people, as well.
You can't treat us like we're not human beings, because we are human beings.
My mind itself can't comprehend or understand how people are like this.
I thought that we were in a world where people could accept each other.
I'm one person who values people's opinions, but that is completely debating fact and completely contradicting reality.
Jazz: Although the call is hateful, I definitely do believe there is value in seeing that people are willing to say awful things directly to someone who is transgender or to anyone's face and it shouldn't be accepted.
But transgender individuals and transgender youth, three innocent girls, can face bullying.
All right, so we're going to wrap up.
We've been doing this for a long time.
You guys have both been great.
I'm really proud of both of you.
And I'm proud of everyone who commented.
Thank you so much.
All right.
Got to press this button.
Uhh.
[Laughs.]
Oh, this is not cute.
Jeanette: I think you guys have a new profession.
You guys did awesome.
Yay! I'm so proud you.
- Thanks.
- So proud of you.
Congratulations.
How did you feel? Well, I thought it was fun, 'cause people were, like, asking a lot of questions.
It was fun.
With the hater, I love how we hung up.
We were like, "okay, bye," and then we addressed.
Jeanette: Yeah.
Well, I'm glad that you did, 'cause I don't want you engaged with anybody like that.
Lynn: It's important for people who are bullied to have somebody who they can come together with and share and express themselves.
That's how I feel with Jazz.
She is a friend and that's, really, it's a great thing.
Lynn: And then it felt nice helping other people and giving them advice.
It's really, really relieving knowing that I possibly helped somebody out there in the world.
Jeanette: You guys were on for a long time.
You must be tired.
Yes.
I'm thirsty, too.
I'm getting a drink of water.
Jeanette: You looked like you were having fun.
Jazz: I thought we were able to provide some helpful advice.
I think the fact that Lynn could relate to a lot of the transgender youth out there more is better, because Noelle and I are really lucky that we have the support of our family.
Yeah, she I don't think she ever would've done something like that if it wasn't for you.
- [Cellphone rings.]
- Who's calling? Daddy.
Hello? - Greg: How you doing? - Good.
How are you? I've got Jazz here.
You're on speaker phone.
Jazz, that was amazing.
I thought you guys were incredible.
Thanks.
That makes me feel really good.
The three of you had really different experiences, but you all have that same common goal of trying to educate people.
But there's always that one clown in the crowd that has to make a statement.
Yeah.
Greg: I think it's important that people see things in real time happening to a real person.
You know, it's one thing to see it on TV or to hear about laws that are being passed by states, but to hear somebody say something directly to Jazz, you know, I'm sure, hits home.
I love you.
And keep up the good work, kiddo.
Love you.
Love you guys.
Bye.
- Hello.
- How you doing? - How are you? - Good to see you.
I'm taking Debbie's advice and going to a support group and unlike Jazz, I'm a big believer in therapy.
So I feel that I'm going to get something out of this, that it's going to be good for me.
I wish I went to therapy more.
I can't do this all on my own all the time, and I would love some feedback from other family members or parents of trans kids.
Deanna: Good evening, everyone.
My name is Deanna Muniz.
And I'm here to kind of open up our support group tonight of friends, family, and significant others of transgender individuals.
So I'm really excited and happy that you all came.
My son Jake, he just turned 14.
He's female-to-male.
And he's on testosterone.
His confidence level has, like, went up the roof.
And so, today, I get to see him as a teenage boy, which, when I go into his room, I have febreze, 'cause definitely there's been a boy There's been a boy in that room.
I'm just saying.
The puberty is happening in real time.
[Laughter.]
But this is who he is.
- He's happy.
- He's happy.
- He's content.
- He's content.
I think it's very hard for people to understand, when you allow a child to transition at such a young age.
But they don't see all the stuff behind the scenes.
And in our case, she was, you know, saying to us, "I no longer want to live in this world," at the age of four.
And when you hear that as a parent, you think, "well, I'm going to do anything I can to make this child a happy child," no matter what.
Jeanette: Even though it's hard to listen to the pain and hurt of other parents, it's really reassuring to know that I'm not on an island alone and there's other people out there that are faced with decisions like mine.
It wasn't until recently that they would let anyone that was under 16, even with parents' permission, have the surgery.
The surgeons face stigma from their colleagues.
We just had that discussion with Oregon's top surgeon.
I feel like it shouldn't be this taboo thing to talk about.
Jazz is getting ready to go out in the world and she wants to be a whole woman.
She's like, "I'm a woman, I know I'm a woman, but, you know, I just need this one extra part.
" And I thought it would be like, cut and dry, like, go to a great doctor and they'd be like, "oh, you know, here it is, let's do it, let's set a date," and it's so not that.
These kids have been suppressed on hormones, so they haven't quite developed the same way as if you were doing surgery on an adult.
And I had a feeling in the back of my mind, 'cause, like, she's pretty immodest.
And I've seen what's there and I'm like, you know, "what are they going to do with that? Like, how are they going to?" 'Cause I know, you know, like, there's a penile inversion thing and I'm like, "uh, no.
" You find out about biology really quick and anatomy.
Yeah, it's a different ball game.
Well, I shouldn't say that, but [Laughter.]
No pun intended.
A lot of us are going through heavy stuff, but it's great to be light-hearted, as well.
You never pictured in your lifetime that you'd be sitting around with a group of people talking about vaginoplasties and penile inversion.
So, you know, we have to have a sense of humor about everything, as well.
I want her to have the surgery before she leaves for college.
I need to be there on top of the situation, where I can monitor her and she has the option, it's her choice.
She can do this while she's home, between her junior and senior year, and Mommy can be there to hold her hand, and Daddy, too, or whoever else, or she can do the surgery and take time off, which sounds ideal.
But she has depression and for those of you familiar with it, when somebody is depressed, they don't have a purpose.
[Voice breaking.]
And and I don't want her laying around in bed and then the depression can come.
If that happens, I don't know what will happen.
So I'm pushing her towards something.
I don't know if she wants that.
I want her to do what's best for her.
But if I secretly, well, not so secretly, am telling her, "I don't think this is a good idea.
" So it's like, what do I do? Shane's calling me.
- Which one? - Yeah, which one? The dating in the dark one.
The fact that a guy is taking an interest in me is something that I haven't experienced.
What's up? Shane: Well, I actually have a question.
I don't really need her to have the surgery at 17 1/2, but I do need her to have it, 'cause she needs us to be there.
So this is like, I don't know people They're not talking about this.
I'm not seeing this on TV, I'm not seeing this in the support groups.
Woman: But what does she want to do? How does she feel about it? 'Cause it sounds like, even at three and four, they're already guiding you.
I think they've been very clear about their journey and they're very comfortable in letting you know.
Let her figure that out, which kind of takes the burden off of you and not having to feel like, "did I make the right decision, did I not?" Kind of let her guide you.
I don't think that Jazz realizes that as her mom, this is very difficult for me.
I want to do what's best for her and honestly, I didn't realize it was so tough on me until I lost it.
Decisions have never been black and white, and that makes it harder to figure out what's best for Jazz.
Thank you so much, Jeanette, for opening up.
- Thank you.
- Because that benefits us all.
Again, thank you so much.
I want to thank every single one of you, you know, for opening up and giving your story and your perspective.
I hope we do this again.
[Applause.]
Jeanette: Oh, look, he likes this.
- He'll like this.
- Jazz: Come on, kitten.
You're going to help with Jazz's homework.
It's my midterm project.
You didn't do your assignment, you go, "the cat ate it.
" Duncan! You definitely don't leave it on the ground.
Uhh.
[Cellphone rings.]
What's that? Shane's calling me.
Which one? [Both laugh.]
- Yeah, which one? - The dating in the dark one.
Oh, okay.
Just checking.
- Where's she going? - I don't know.
Jazz: I'm going outside.
Hello? What's up? I'm good.
How are you? I'm good.
How has everything been? Tell me about your life.
I'm just working on a project right now for school that's due tomorrow, procrastinating.
Well, I actually have a question.
Do you remember Frank and Hannah, right? Yes.
Didn't they, like, work out as a match, kind of? Or didn't they like each other? Yeah, and Monday, they're actually, I think going on, like, a date-date.
And Frank talked to me and asked me if I wanted to go with you and make it a double.
Okay.
Yeah, that actually sounds really fun.
I would have to ask my parents, but I'm pretty sure they would say yes.
All right, sounds good.
I'll text you all the deets when I get 'em.
Take care.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Jazz: I'm actually really excited about this double date, because the fact that a guy is taking interest in me is something that I haven't experienced, and he's also a cisgender guy, so that's really cool and I'm excited to get to know him a little bit better.
Did Jazz know that Shane was going to be calling? No.
If she did, she didn't tell me.
Ahh.
What was that all about? You got a big smile on your face.
Just very, very, very interesting.
Details? Your girl was asked out on a date.
You're calling it a date? A double date with Frank and Hannah.
Hannah was, like, one of the other girls and Frank was one of the other guys and they met in the dark, as well.
This dating in the dark is really working.
I know.
Greg: It seems like, in this particular case, the stars sort of align.
Whatever happened, the dating in the dark, the way they met, the communication that they had, the personalities, everything seems to be aligning where Jazz is really comfortable this time, and that's nice to see.
It's refreshing.
We're happy for her.
So tell me about the date.
Does Shane drive or who's driving? Yeah, how are you getting there and where are you going? I don't know.
We didn't go over all those details.
I was just asked out and then you text later, figure out all the details.
Wait, but he didn't say where? He's just like, "you want to go out?" That's how it works.
You ask someone out and then you figure out where you want to go later.
That's how it works? So, okay, you actually look excited.
- That's cool.
- Aww.
You like him? You're going to get to know him, then you'll decide.
I think he's really, really nice, though.
This date is very different from the previous dates that I've been on, because I've met Shane and I know who he is, I know what I'm getting into, we know that we're both interested in each other and have that connection.
So it's pretty exciting and I feel like it is fair to call it a date.
This is official and real and hopefully, we're going to have a good time.
Next time on "I Am Jazz" I think he's a really, really nice kid.
I just don't know if he's my type.
I feel myself shutting down, but I don't want to close the doors like I have in the past.
Jacky: Yeah.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hello.
My dad and Jazz had a little altercation.
I know you're very stubborn, but you are wrong.
You wanted to say something about your presentation? Oh, yeah.
I thought this was in the past, but apparently, he's still been thinking about it.
We are once again talking about bathrooms.
Those on the left are all about feelings, while the rest of us just don't want to get raped in the bathroom.
Greg: I'm not ecstatic about putting Jazz in the firing line of a shock jock.
It's a little scary and intimidating.
" Jazz has always been a target for hate, but since she's really active in social media, it's only gotten worse.
I really don't think there's any problems with my life that I'm not aware of.
I worry, 'cause Jazz suffers from clinical depression.
You think some random individual who doesn't even know who I am internally and doesn't know my thought processes will have the answers to my questions? No! Have you ever heard of dating in the dark? Like, legit, where people date in the dark? Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Do you mind if I get your number? Sure.
It's the first time in my entire life that a guy has asked for my number.
So I'm really excited and I'm hoping that he texts me.
Jazz: 16 years ago, I was assigned male at birth, but inside, I always knew I was a girl.
I have a girl brain and a boy body.
Being transgender hasn't been easy.
This is definitely not, like, a straightforward case.
I don't think you have many options for a vaginoplasty.
- I had a great time.
- I had a lot of fun.
Have a great night.
- Now, it sounds like a date.
- It's not a date! But it's made me who I am.
I am Jazz.
Jazz: This drew my eye right away.
Do you like red? Red actually suits me well.
I'm going shopping with Jay, and since we go to different schools, it's just a great way for us to catch up.
I'm a velvet girl.
I think I look whiter in red, so I wouldn't wear it.
She always listens to what I have to say.
I appreciate all of her advice and I tell her everything.
So you never told me about the dating in the dark thing.
How was that? Um I'm just going to go back in the dark for this one.
No, it went well, it did.
It was really cool.
So was it actually dark or could you see shadows or something? Okay, no, it was like pitch-black, basically.
So did you actually meet anybody that you like? Um Maybe.
Tell me.
Who did you meet? There was only one guy that, like, I really, really liked.
His name was Shane.
Was he cute in the light or? I thought he was really, really nice.
And then he asked for my number.
- He asked for your number? - He asked for my number.
That's so cool.
Is this the first time a guy has ever asked you for your number? Yeah, it's definitely kind of cool.
I'm pretty happy that Noelle recommended dating in the dark to me.
And the fact that Shane asked for my number is the cherry on top.
And I'm hoping that he calls me.
I don't know if anything's going to work out with this guy, but it's still exciting, right? Yeah.
I'm happy you did it.
It sounds like Shane's a really cool person, very unique.
I haven't heard of many cisgender guys accepting her being transgender.
And hopefully, it just works out.
Oh, and he likes cats.
Oh, that's good for you, 'cause you have like three cats and I go over your house and I die, 'cause of those things.
I actually have four cats.
Oh, yeah.
[Both laugh.]
Jeanette: I want to make the bed look pretty before we go into it.
Am I doing this right? Am I supposed to go under the blanket? Yeah, and under the sheet, yeah.
- Okay.
- Like that.
Anyway, we got so busy with pride, I didn't tell you about Jazz dating in the dark.
She went with four complete strangers, like, and put herself out there and actually enjoyed it.
And she made a connection.
He was named Shane.
[Laughs.]
- Another Shane.
- That's a coincidence.
Yeah.
And he asked for her phone number.
- She give it to him? - Yeah.
Like a cis boy, a sweet cis boy You get the sense she's interested? I don't know.
Like, with her, she's sort of like, she doesn't know.
I'm favorably impressed that someone who's not transgender, knowing everything about Jazz, still said, "I'd like your phone number.
" This is one small step for Jazz and one giant step for Jazz-kind.
[Both laugh.]
I'm going to kind of not push her too much, but That's a good idea.
She's got a lot going on, I mean, unreal.
She does.
In fact, tomorrow is the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I don't know if you remembered, but No, I remember.
Jeanette: Transgender Day of Remembrance is honoring those people who, during the past 365 days, have lost their life.
It's sad, 'cause they're going to list the names of people who were murdered.
We pay tribute to them and get together and have a memorial to remember them.
So you can't get out of it this time.
I'm not trying to get out of it.
It's just very hard, as a dad, to think of that situation.
One of the reasons I haven't gone to Transgender Day of Remembrance in the past is because the purpose of the day is thinking about people that have been murdered just for being transgender.
And it's very hard for me to think of Jazz in that context.
And, you know, it's something that I've had to come to terms with, and I really just need to be there to support Jazz.
I just feel like we have so much going on.
And how is it affecting you? I'm just stressed.
We've got the bottom surgery stuff looming.
Dr.
Reed saying one thing, then you have Dr.
McGinn saying something else.
And then Dr.
salgado really going polar from what Dr.
McGinn says, so Even though this has been our lives for the last like 13, 14 years, taking hormones or letting Jazz wear a dress to school is nothing compared to major surgery.
Huge decisions are being made and it's overwhelming.
My stomach's in knots a little bit.
Maybe you should talk to someone.
Why not cousin Debbie? - She has some insights.
- She certainly does.
She knows most of these situations that are going on.
I never really get to chill with her one-on-one.
Well, maybe you set aside some time if she's willing to.
Yeah.
I'm struggling with the decision.
Like, where are we going? How do we make our final decision? And Debbie is a great person to talk to about this because she has many patients who are transgender who've had surgery and she's been there counseling them.
Greg: I got some good news.
Jazz: What? Especially good news for Mom.
I like good news.
I signed us up for this scuba course.
Yay.
- We're all set to go.
- I'm excited.
Greg: With the kids up at college, very rarely do we ever just spend time as a family.
So I wanted to go on a family vacation to make the most of our time together.
Why can't we just go to an aquarium and call it a day? I've never, ever thought about going scuba diving.
Even when I'm in the ocean, I'm always afraid something's going to bite me or touch me or Well, I think scuba diving is a great, natural excursion for us as a family.
Wait, wait a minute.
Natural to be underwater, not breathing your own breath? Okay.
You got me on the The breathing device, but There's nothing natural about scuba diving.
Jazz: You've never been to the Transgender Day of Remembrance, right? I've never gone before.
I think about you and your advocacy work and I think about this day, and it's probably the single most significant day of the year.
And I just never can get myself to go in the past.
I'm glad that my dad is coming to the Transgender Day of Remembrance, because he has expressed that, you know, it's really difficult for him to comprehend the struggles that transgender people face and he's scared because he knows that I'm at just as much risk as any other transgender person out there.
Unfortunately, in U.
S.
A.
, the number of people that have been murdered goes up every year.
That's what's so sad.
Like, it's supposed to be going down.
That's just too bad.
- It's sad.
- No, there should not have to be a Transgender Day of Remembrance.
That would be great.
But there is one.
- Ah! - Hey! Good to see you.
I'm really excited to see my friend Lynn.
She's also transgender, but she hasn't been transitioning that long.
I'm Noelle.
It's nice to meet you.
Oh, yeah, this is Noelle.
I forgot.
This is Lynn, by the way.
So I met Lynn at a PSA.
I did a public service announcement with her.
Sometimes my mom, because she's very religious, she'll tell me, that there's a demon inside of me.
And it kind of feels It's just really difficult.
Oh, no, I don't want to get so emotional, but, you know, I've been so thankful to have the love and support of my family.
Noelle: How was the PSA for you? By doing the PSA, it just felt really relieving, because when I came out to my mom, I was too scared to face her, really.
I like, wrote her a letter.
I expressed, "I'm just me, at this point.
Like, I am who I am right now.
" And then we just got into an argument after that.
It really hurts that my mom's not being supportive of my transition.
She's just so fixated on the fact that I'm not normal.
She believes that god created me a certain way.
But if god created me a certain way, then why do I feel like this? It's just come to the point where it's like, I don't want to start any conflicts.
So so you just don't discuss it at all? But does she use male pronouns? She uses male pronouns.
What do you do? Do you speak up? Yeah, sometimes I will.
And what does she say to that? She just ignores me.
- For real? - Yeah.
Jazz: I can't imagine how tough it is for Lynn, because I know if her mother sees her wearing nail Polish, she gets scolded.
If her mother sees any girl clothes, then she'll be grounded.
And it's just really upsetting, because this is denying who Lynn really is.
Never give up, okay? 'Cause I know I know it can be hard.
You have me and I know you have other really close friends and, you know, things will get better.
Because I've been living my life as a girl for so long, I feel like it's my obligation to take, you know, other trans kids like Lynn under my wing.
I just want to be there to stand by her side.
Is the bullying getting better? There are times where people would just like, come up to me and call me tranny or something.
But at least you get to be here today.
Yeah.
Everyone here is trans, everyone here can understand what, like, all of us are going through.
I can sympathize with Lynn, because I've been transitioning for almost two years now.
But I've developed sort of a thick skin to people's hate.
Whoever and no matter where it comes from, it hurts.
We can stop bullying if we spread awareness.
I know, like, I've done little things like videos, like Facebook lives.
I think Facebook live would be a great thing for Lynn to participate in, because she has a perspective that Noelle and I can't offer.
She doesn't have the support of her family.
Online communities can be a great place for kids who are getting bullied or feel like they are outsiders.
And I think that Lynn has a very powerful voice.
- You want to do it? - Yeah, I'm down.
Let's go.
- Yeah! - [Laughs.]
We're going to do this thing with Noelle that's like a Facebook live chat.
You can't really control who's watching a Facebook live and there might be a lot of people who disagree with what Jazz is saying.
This sounds like a recipe for some not such nice calls.
Today, we come together to reflect every member, our brothers and sisters, who have met their death through anti-transgender hatred.
Each year, we become more aware of the atrocities that our transgender community suffers at the hands of those who fail to realize that people are people and love is love.
Jazz: I can't comprehend how in this world, just by being myself, I am a target for possible violent bullies.
This is a special community that has suffered through the worst possible discrimination.
As we remember those we've lost, I want to focus on the brave, strong, and honorable ways they lived as their true selves.
Greg: Just the fact that there's a Transgender Day of Remembrance each year is just It's just horrible to even think about.
Why should a community have to go through that year after year after year? First of all, I'm very humble to be here today.
I'm sad to be here today.
Um I knew at seven years old, when they were trying to get me to play basketball and football and speaking to me in a tone I didn't understand, but I could understand when they spoke to my sisters, I knew I was different.
I was the first male child in three generations.
And I decided I had to try everything manly possible, and I joined the army at 17.
On a leave, I went into a drag bar, and a young entertainer came to me and said, "where'd you get those cheek bones from? Girls will kill for those cheek bones.
" [Light laughter.]
So I've never really got the passable word thing, 'cause I've never thought I was passable.
[Voice breaking.]
I wake up every morning ashamed.
I wake up every morning guilty.
Embarrassment is the worst feeling and does more damage than hate does, people.
Greg: It was very emotional listening to Shawn.
I know that in a way, Jazz has things easier by having a loving, supporting family and having a roof over her head, which not all transgender people do.
And I feel sadness knowing there's a significant part of the transgender population that has a very difficult time.
No matter how many times I've heard horror stories of those people that have struggled within the transgender community, it's still overwhelming.
There's so much pain and hurt out there and we need to keep advocating for trans people.
You guys ready to be aqua men and women? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm aqua excited.
We got away from our classes for a weekend, so it's awesome to go scuba diving and spend some time with family.
Who's looking forward to this? I'm excited.
Isn't this on your bucket list, Jeanette? - No.
- It's on mine.
You know what? There's certain things that you save for when you're older.
And you miss the window of opportunity and you just keep going by.
It's okay.
What have you guys been up to at home? Anything change down here? I mean, we had the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I got to see my friend Lynn and we're going to do this thing with Noelle that's, like a Facebook live chat.
It's going to be, like, about bullying.
Is it just questions You read questions and then answer or? Well, they, people, they ask questions.
Also, we're going to have, like, a phone where people could call in.
On the live Facebook? Yeah.
But it sounds like a recipe for some not such nice calls.
So what exactly do you hope to accomplish by this video chat? 'Cause it feel like it's definitely a recipe for possible hate mail.
- Hate calls.
- I mean You can't really control who's watching a Facebook live and there might be a lot of people who disagree with what Jazz is saying.
Jazz: My goal is that, you know, people will watch it and it'll give hope and encouragement to kids out there who may be getting bullied.
In the past, I've been confronted with hate.
You know, either it's the radio show or the Liberty council.
So you never know about these things.
Griffen: We're here! Time to go scuba diving! Man: Hey, guys, how's it going? You guys are the Jennings? You're here for your discovery scuba diving? - Yes, we are.
- Awesome.
Well, my name's Tyler.
I'm going to be your instructor today.
We can actually head right back to the pool, if you'd like? - Great.
- Sounds perfect.
- Okay.
- Let's ride.
I think the family's going to have a great time.
It's it's different.
It's nothing like anything we've done before.
We're just going to be out of our own element and in an element you only really see on TV, unless you do it.
Or an aquarium.
All right, guys, so everybody in your right hand, you should have the regulator.
Everyone's going to stick it in your mouth and you're going to take three deep breaths, okay.
- Yep, just like that.
- It tastes weird.
- [Honks.]
- It's salty.
[Both laugh.]
It's like [Pants.]
And then I had, like, flashbacks to when I was pumping breast milk, because it sounded the exact same way.
There was this machine I had to hook myself up to and it went Heh-huh, heh-huh, heh-huh.
All right, guys.
Who's ready to take a few breaths underwater? Let's do it.
You're going to take the tongue, stick it up against the hole, the breathing hole here, okay, and you're going to press the purge button.
And you can see all the water get shot out of it, right.
Aaah! Sorry.
I just see her eyes popping out of the goggles.
Great job.
Now you feel the air? We're not quite ready to go into the ocean yet.
All right, guys, regulators in.
Let's go ahead and kneel down.
[Laughter.]
Guys, there's no wall in the ocean.
Jeanette: On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being somebody super-coordinated, I'm like a 3.
5.
What'd I do wrong now? I'm sorry.
You're supposed to just watch me.
Oh, okay.
It's very important you keep the regulator in your mouth, - all right.
- Okay.
Jeanette: Yeah, Greg, who was the best and worst of the scuba diving lesson? Greg: I would say, if I had to rank the family, in terms of best and worst in the scuba diving Start with the worst.
Make it easy.
The worst was you.
Oops.
Did I just say that? [Laughs.]
We went scuba diving the other day.
Debbie: How did you do that?! I [laughs.]
Oh, no.
But, honestly, Debbie, I'm doing this for the family.
I'm just like, "take me to a fricking aquarium.
" I've got a little of Jacky in me.
You know, like, if I want to see the fish, I'll go through one of those, like, you know, the conveyor belt, they move you along I love those.
Yeah, and, like, that's enough for me.
Jeanette: Debbie is my cousin.
She is a therapist and she specializes in the transgender community.
She's got a way with words and she's got a way with people.
She's very therapeutic to talk to and given all the stress in my life, I could really use help.
Anyway, so the real reason I wanted to talk to you is because I'm really overwhelmed.
We want Jazz to have her dream, beautiful vagina.
Mm-hmm.
And we want her to be able to have a healthy sex life.
But there is a complication.
She is so suppressed that nothing grew, and there's one doctor that will not do a penile inversion, does not recommend it.
But one of the doctors that we're leaning toward, out of town, said that she would do a penile inversion.
Well, research has gotten that far.
That's the good news, that we do have more options and with more options, there's going to be more anxiety.
How do we know the right thing to do? It's sort of like back when Jazz was little.
How do we know? When Jazz was first transitioning and I went to look for help to see if anybody had transitioned, like, their 4- or 5-year-olds, and I couldn't find anybody.
It was really scary.
It was like the unknown.
And now here we are again, Jazz is looking to have her bottom surgery and it's a little difficult, because I really haven't heard about a lot of surgeries on suppressed youth.
And the other thing is, when do we do the surgery? Yeah.
A lot of kids want to get it done over the summer, between senior year and the first year of college.
Mm-hmm.
Don't think that's the best idea.
But I think I want to take like, a one-year break anyway.
Just knowing her personality, I just don't think it's the best for her mentally.
I think she could go to high school and still do what she needs to do medically that senior year.
She gets the surgery and takes a year off in between high school and college, you know, she gets in her head.
- I do.
- So she's laying in bed and not doing anything but watching TV, that's going to get a little old after a while.
And then she's going to get depressed and then go into another dark cloud That's a very real fear.
Jeanette: I'm extremely worried about Jazz falling into a depression after the surgery.
And I think sitting at home, day after day, dilating or, you know, recovering, is just not good for who she is as a person.
I just I think it's a bad idea.
I don't know what to do.
Jeanette's in a really difficult place, because she wants to do the right thing and it's hard to know what the right thing is.
I think she needs a lot more information and she might have to be in an uncomfortable position for a little while.
Don't leave any stone unturned.
Talk to everyone.
Support groups are available.
I know that.
I know that they are.
Mm-hmm.
And I think this would be a really great idea for you to know that there's someone, even in a similar situation, someone who may be able to connect you with someone else.
- Yeah.
- It think it'd be a great thing.
Jeanette: Even Debbie doesn't have a crystal ball.
Nobody has any way of knowing what's going to happen.
We just don't.
But I think it could be really helpful to get some feedback from other family members or parents of trans kids who are faced with these really difficult decisions.
Okay, let's go live.
I am a little bit nervous because anything live is Live.
All right, so we have a caller.
Man: Of course, you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
Big, old lights.
Uhh.
Oh, my goodness.
You're really taking this serious.
Uhh.
The lights make you look pretty.
Watch out for my chandelier.
Oh, sorry.
Jazz: I've done a few Facebook lives in the past before, but it's usually been with a media outlet or just some type of news source.
But now I'm going to do it in my own home, set it up myself, and it's going to be fun.
- Hey.
- Hi.
How are you? Noelle: Hey, Jazz.
Hey.
You excited? I'm glad you could be a part of this.
I'm glad I can be, too.
Jazz: It's really sad when trans youth are not in a comfortable and safe environment and a lot of them haven't met or heard from another transgender person before, so it's really great that we have the opportunity to do this and we're just going to try to help them as much as possible.
This is where we're going to look at the comments from and then this is where we're going to take calls from, 'cause we're taking calls.
I am a little bit nervous, because anything live is Live, and it is unmoderated.
So there is a chance that a hater may call in.
And even though I have a thick skin when it comes to haters saying awful things, I don't know how it is for Lynn and Noelle.
Hello.
Lynn: Hi, how you doing? - Oh, you look lovely.
- Thank you.
Hola.
Oh, my gosh, you look so cute.
Thank you, boo.
What I hope to accomplish today is just to have people know that we're there for them and just for them to know that you're not alone in this world.
Girls, we're going to sit over here.
If you need anything, we'll be right there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Have fun.
Let me know if you need anything.
- You guys nervous? - Yeah.
Okay, let's go live.
We're having an open discussion about bullying, because as three trans people, it clearly affects our lives and we're also willing to go beyond the discussion of bullying in general.
So my name is Jazz and then I have my friend Lynn here and Noelle.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I guess I will share that most of the bullying that I face is online, cyberbullying.
On social media, I see a lot of these comments that are just so negative, so cruel, and are really hurtful.
I try not to look at them, but, you know, at the end of the day, they're still there.
It shows me that there's more work to be done and that society isn't fully accepting people like us who are transgender, who just happen to be transgender.
I also have faced struggles.
One day on Instagram, I did see a picture of me with a very rude caption.
At that point, I was suffering from very bad depression.
That honestly hit me very hard.
And I guess that's what we're here to share today.
Oh, we have a caller.
Hello? Most of the bullying I face is often from adults, actually.
Kids are more open to change and new ideas, but adults, they're a little bit stuck in terms of their belief system.
So adults have bullied me, and it's sometimes intimidating.
Jeanette: The adults are the ones that set the rules, not the kids.
You can't use the bathroom.
That's an adult rule, not a child rule.
You know, little, tiny Jazz, when she was playing soccer in the beginning, these are all adults saying, "you have to sit on the sidelines and can't play.
" One of our first questions is from Sarah and she wants to know how we can support our friends when they are transitioning if they don't know what pronouns to use? You guys have any thoughts on that? I feel like you should ask them.
Like, I mean, asking's always okay for somebody.
At least you're acknowledging them and telling them like, "oh, you know, how do I do this, so I don't, like, offend you in a way?" Yeah.
Oh, okay, so people are curious, at what age did you two know that you were trans? I knew ever since I could differentiate boy from girl.
So I-I internalized that a lot, I pushed it away.
I eventually acknowledged that I was transgender when I was 13 years old, but I feel that I did know all my life.
How about you, Lynn? The time that I acknowledged that I was transgender was around the ages between 10 and 12, when I was around in middle school.
So I had these friends who would Like, we'd always do feminine things, I enjoyed it.
Like, I thoroughly enjoyed, you know, being more feminine.
That's who I was as a person.
Yeah.
All right, we have a call from Denmark.
Oh, my god.
Hello.
- Bottom surgery.
- Bottom surgery.
- Bottom surgery.
- Let's talk about it.
I mean, normally, this is pretty personal, but since we want to try to be a educational as possible, I'll say for me, I have been going on a few consultations now, and it's been really, really exciting.
You know, I've wanted this my whole life, so it's really cool to just, like, finally embark upon this journey.
For me, I'm not I'm not quite sure yet, but it's best to learn about everything that you might do, so that when you do want to follow through with the procedure, you'll be prepared and you'll be ready for it.
I have a mother who doesn't really accept me and neither a father, so my social worker at school, she's actually helping me with my transition.
Like, she's giving me the contacts, who to call, and, like, some people who could help me out and, like, sign me off for hormones when I turn 18.
All right, so we have a caller.
Hello, new person.
Man: Hi.
Am I online? - You are online.
- Yes, you are.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just I want to say, I think this is all basically just one big load of crap.
Y'all are just trying to get attention.
I mean, we all have problems.
Just, you know, cut the crap, man up.
Of course you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
Man: Y'all are just trying to get attention.
Of course you're going to be getting bullied.
You guys are just freaks.
All right, well, I would say, the first thing that is Yeah, I'm going to hang up on you first and then we could address that person.
So, you know, I think you're just being completely disrespectful.
You're jumping to conclusions without educating yourself, and understand that we are people, as well.
You can't treat us like we're not human beings, because we are human beings.
My mind itself can't comprehend or understand how people are like this.
I thought that we were in a world where people could accept each other.
I'm one person who values people's opinions, but that is completely debating fact and completely contradicting reality.
Jazz: Although the call is hateful, I definitely do believe there is value in seeing that people are willing to say awful things directly to someone who is transgender or to anyone's face and it shouldn't be accepted.
But transgender individuals and transgender youth, three innocent girls, can face bullying.
All right, so we're going to wrap up.
We've been doing this for a long time.
You guys have both been great.
I'm really proud of both of you.
And I'm proud of everyone who commented.
Thank you so much.
All right.
Got to press this button.
Uhh.
[Laughs.]
Oh, this is not cute.
Jeanette: I think you guys have a new profession.
You guys did awesome.
Yay! I'm so proud you.
- Thanks.
- So proud of you.
Congratulations.
How did you feel? Well, I thought it was fun, 'cause people were, like, asking a lot of questions.
It was fun.
With the hater, I love how we hung up.
We were like, "okay, bye," and then we addressed.
Jeanette: Yeah.
Well, I'm glad that you did, 'cause I don't want you engaged with anybody like that.
Lynn: It's important for people who are bullied to have somebody who they can come together with and share and express themselves.
That's how I feel with Jazz.
She is a friend and that's, really, it's a great thing.
Lynn: And then it felt nice helping other people and giving them advice.
It's really, really relieving knowing that I possibly helped somebody out there in the world.
Jeanette: You guys were on for a long time.
You must be tired.
Yes.
I'm thirsty, too.
I'm getting a drink of water.
Jeanette: You looked like you were having fun.
Jazz: I thought we were able to provide some helpful advice.
I think the fact that Lynn could relate to a lot of the transgender youth out there more is better, because Noelle and I are really lucky that we have the support of our family.
Yeah, she I don't think she ever would've done something like that if it wasn't for you.
- [Cellphone rings.]
- Who's calling? Daddy.
Hello? - Greg: How you doing? - Good.
How are you? I've got Jazz here.
You're on speaker phone.
Jazz, that was amazing.
I thought you guys were incredible.
Thanks.
That makes me feel really good.
The three of you had really different experiences, but you all have that same common goal of trying to educate people.
But there's always that one clown in the crowd that has to make a statement.
Yeah.
Greg: I think it's important that people see things in real time happening to a real person.
You know, it's one thing to see it on TV or to hear about laws that are being passed by states, but to hear somebody say something directly to Jazz, you know, I'm sure, hits home.
I love you.
And keep up the good work, kiddo.
Love you.
Love you guys.
Bye.
- Hello.
- How you doing? - How are you? - Good to see you.
I'm taking Debbie's advice and going to a support group and unlike Jazz, I'm a big believer in therapy.
So I feel that I'm going to get something out of this, that it's going to be good for me.
I wish I went to therapy more.
I can't do this all on my own all the time, and I would love some feedback from other family members or parents of trans kids.
Deanna: Good evening, everyone.
My name is Deanna Muniz.
And I'm here to kind of open up our support group tonight of friends, family, and significant others of transgender individuals.
So I'm really excited and happy that you all came.
My son Jake, he just turned 14.
He's female-to-male.
And he's on testosterone.
His confidence level has, like, went up the roof.
And so, today, I get to see him as a teenage boy, which, when I go into his room, I have febreze, 'cause definitely there's been a boy There's been a boy in that room.
I'm just saying.
The puberty is happening in real time.
[Laughter.]
But this is who he is.
- He's happy.
- He's happy.
- He's content.
- He's content.
I think it's very hard for people to understand, when you allow a child to transition at such a young age.
But they don't see all the stuff behind the scenes.
And in our case, she was, you know, saying to us, "I no longer want to live in this world," at the age of four.
And when you hear that as a parent, you think, "well, I'm going to do anything I can to make this child a happy child," no matter what.
Jeanette: Even though it's hard to listen to the pain and hurt of other parents, it's really reassuring to know that I'm not on an island alone and there's other people out there that are faced with decisions like mine.
It wasn't until recently that they would let anyone that was under 16, even with parents' permission, have the surgery.
The surgeons face stigma from their colleagues.
We just had that discussion with Oregon's top surgeon.
I feel like it shouldn't be this taboo thing to talk about.
Jazz is getting ready to go out in the world and she wants to be a whole woman.
She's like, "I'm a woman, I know I'm a woman, but, you know, I just need this one extra part.
" And I thought it would be like, cut and dry, like, go to a great doctor and they'd be like, "oh, you know, here it is, let's do it, let's set a date," and it's so not that.
These kids have been suppressed on hormones, so they haven't quite developed the same way as if you were doing surgery on an adult.
And I had a feeling in the back of my mind, 'cause, like, she's pretty immodest.
And I've seen what's there and I'm like, you know, "what are they going to do with that? Like, how are they going to?" 'Cause I know, you know, like, there's a penile inversion thing and I'm like, "uh, no.
" You find out about biology really quick and anatomy.
Yeah, it's a different ball game.
Well, I shouldn't say that, but [Laughter.]
No pun intended.
A lot of us are going through heavy stuff, but it's great to be light-hearted, as well.
You never pictured in your lifetime that you'd be sitting around with a group of people talking about vaginoplasties and penile inversion.
So, you know, we have to have a sense of humor about everything, as well.
I want her to have the surgery before she leaves for college.
I need to be there on top of the situation, where I can monitor her and she has the option, it's her choice.
She can do this while she's home, between her junior and senior year, and Mommy can be there to hold her hand, and Daddy, too, or whoever else, or she can do the surgery and take time off, which sounds ideal.
But she has depression and for those of you familiar with it, when somebody is depressed, they don't have a purpose.
[Voice breaking.]
And and I don't want her laying around in bed and then the depression can come.
If that happens, I don't know what will happen.
So I'm pushing her towards something.
I don't know if she wants that.
I want her to do what's best for her.
But if I secretly, well, not so secretly, am telling her, "I don't think this is a good idea.
" So it's like, what do I do? Shane's calling me.
- Which one? - Yeah, which one? The dating in the dark one.
The fact that a guy is taking an interest in me is something that I haven't experienced.
What's up? Shane: Well, I actually have a question.
I don't really need her to have the surgery at 17 1/2, but I do need her to have it, 'cause she needs us to be there.
So this is like, I don't know people They're not talking about this.
I'm not seeing this on TV, I'm not seeing this in the support groups.
Woman: But what does she want to do? How does she feel about it? 'Cause it sounds like, even at three and four, they're already guiding you.
I think they've been very clear about their journey and they're very comfortable in letting you know.
Let her figure that out, which kind of takes the burden off of you and not having to feel like, "did I make the right decision, did I not?" Kind of let her guide you.
I don't think that Jazz realizes that as her mom, this is very difficult for me.
I want to do what's best for her and honestly, I didn't realize it was so tough on me until I lost it.
Decisions have never been black and white, and that makes it harder to figure out what's best for Jazz.
Thank you so much, Jeanette, for opening up.
- Thank you.
- Because that benefits us all.
Again, thank you so much.
I want to thank every single one of you, you know, for opening up and giving your story and your perspective.
I hope we do this again.
[Applause.]
Jeanette: Oh, look, he likes this.
- He'll like this.
- Jazz: Come on, kitten.
You're going to help with Jazz's homework.
It's my midterm project.
You didn't do your assignment, you go, "the cat ate it.
" Duncan! You definitely don't leave it on the ground.
Uhh.
[Cellphone rings.]
What's that? Shane's calling me.
Which one? [Both laugh.]
- Yeah, which one? - The dating in the dark one.
Oh, okay.
Just checking.
- Where's she going? - I don't know.
Jazz: I'm going outside.
Hello? What's up? I'm good.
How are you? I'm good.
How has everything been? Tell me about your life.
I'm just working on a project right now for school that's due tomorrow, procrastinating.
Well, I actually have a question.
Do you remember Frank and Hannah, right? Yes.
Didn't they, like, work out as a match, kind of? Or didn't they like each other? Yeah, and Monday, they're actually, I think going on, like, a date-date.
And Frank talked to me and asked me if I wanted to go with you and make it a double.
Okay.
Yeah, that actually sounds really fun.
I would have to ask my parents, but I'm pretty sure they would say yes.
All right, sounds good.
I'll text you all the deets when I get 'em.
Take care.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Jazz: I'm actually really excited about this double date, because the fact that a guy is taking interest in me is something that I haven't experienced, and he's also a cisgender guy, so that's really cool and I'm excited to get to know him a little bit better.
Did Jazz know that Shane was going to be calling? No.
If she did, she didn't tell me.
Ahh.
What was that all about? You got a big smile on your face.
Just very, very, very interesting.
Details? Your girl was asked out on a date.
You're calling it a date? A double date with Frank and Hannah.
Hannah was, like, one of the other girls and Frank was one of the other guys and they met in the dark, as well.
This dating in the dark is really working.
I know.
Greg: It seems like, in this particular case, the stars sort of align.
Whatever happened, the dating in the dark, the way they met, the communication that they had, the personalities, everything seems to be aligning where Jazz is really comfortable this time, and that's nice to see.
It's refreshing.
We're happy for her.
So tell me about the date.
Does Shane drive or who's driving? Yeah, how are you getting there and where are you going? I don't know.
We didn't go over all those details.
I was just asked out and then you text later, figure out all the details.
Wait, but he didn't say where? He's just like, "you want to go out?" That's how it works.
You ask someone out and then you figure out where you want to go later.
That's how it works? So, okay, you actually look excited.
- That's cool.
- Aww.
You like him? You're going to get to know him, then you'll decide.
I think he's really, really nice, though.
This date is very different from the previous dates that I've been on, because I've met Shane and I know who he is, I know what I'm getting into, we know that we're both interested in each other and have that connection.
So it's pretty exciting and I feel like it is fair to call it a date.
This is official and real and hopefully, we're going to have a good time.
Next time on "I Am Jazz" I think he's a really, really nice kid.
I just don't know if he's my type.
I feel myself shutting down, but I don't want to close the doors like I have in the past.
Jacky: Yeah.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hello.
My dad and Jazz had a little altercation.
I know you're very stubborn, but you are wrong.
You wanted to say something about your presentation? Oh, yeah.
I thought this was in the past, but apparently, he's still been thinking about it.
We are once again talking about bathrooms.
Those on the left are all about feelings, while the rest of us just don't want to get raped in the bathroom.
Greg: I'm not ecstatic about putting Jazz in the firing line of a shock jock.
It's a little scary and intimidating.