Lost In Space (1965) s03e06 Episode Script

We're pretty far from the Jupiter, Dr.
Smith.
Maybe we'd better start heading back.
You know Dad said not to go too far.
Will Robinson is right.
We should go back to the campsite.
We shall never discover the wonders of the universe sitting at camp beside the Jupiter.
We must strike out boldly in all directions.
First I simply must have a bit of rest.
- [ Yelps .]
- Dr.
Smith! - Oh! - Are you all right? I don't know.
I'm very frightened.
- There's a cave dug right into the cliff.
- Yes.
So there is.
William, I think it's time we return to camp.
Aren't we even gonna go inside and look around? Certainly not! We don't know what's in there.
You said we were gonna be space explorers brave and fearless space explorers.
- Yes.
So I did.
- Then we have to go inside and explore, don't we? I suppose so.
William, I wouldn't dream of depriving you of the thrill of discovery.
- You go inside, and then you can tell me what you found.
- Okay.
No, Will Robinson! My sensors compute danger in there! [ Will .]
Dr.
Smith! Come quickly! I knew they shouldn't have gone in there.
William! William.
What did you find? Wait'll you see what's in there.
I'm gonna go get Dad and bring him back.
William, you come back here this instant and tell me what you found inside that cave! Indeed.
He seems in a great hurry to tell the others.
There must be something very valuable in there.
It's all so bright and shiny.
Do not activate controls.
I compute danger.
Never fear, Smith is here.
What possible harm could there be in pressing a little button? There.
You see, you cautious clump.
It's just an oversized pinball machine.
- How very interesting.
- Danger! Danger! We must leave here immediately! Nonsense, ninny.
I'm sure it's making something wonderful for us.
[ Whirring .]
How marvelous! I just pressed the right buttons, and the machine produced you.
- [ Groaning .]
- Now, look, sir.
Just a moment.
You don't seem to understand.
That is to say, I am your friend.
[ Loud Growl .]
No! Don't just stand there, you coward! Do something! He's trying to kill me! [ Screams .]
Fight back, you coward! Fight back! Oh, you blithering booby! He's beating you! Fight back, I tell you! Fight back! - Why don't you come here and help? - Hit him or something.
Hit him! - [ Clattering .]
- Oh, no! No! No! No! No! No.
Stay away from me.
Stay away! Oh! Help! No, please! Please don't! Don't! Don't do this! No! - Well, I guess it's ready for the test.
- Okay.
- Now, you all set? - Mm-hmm.
- [ Don .]
Good shot.
- Are you nearly through with that? We'll be finished in a few minutes, dear.
Good, 'cause lunch is nearly ready and I wouldn't want it to go to waste while you're tinkering with that.
Darling, I never tinker.
Dad! Boy, have I got something to tell you.
All right now.
Where's Smith and the Robot? - Back at the cave, I guess.
- What cave? That's just what I was about to tell you.
We found this great cave! It's back over that way.
[ Groaning, Grunting .]
Help! Help me! And against the wall, there's this panel with lights and levers.
On the other side is this big conveyor belt that runs into a machine.
- [ Maureen .]
What? - What do you think? I think we oughta go to that cave and find out what this is all about.
Oh, dear! Oh! Oh, dear! Oh! You have a built-in timer.
We're just about to sit down for lunch.
How can you think of food, madam, at a time like this? We're all going to be destroyed.
I was just telling Dad and Don about the cave, Dr.
Smith.
Didn't you bring the Robot back with you? Where is he? I neither know nor care.
We have more important things to worry about than that mechanical meddler.
- I want to know what happened to the Robot.
- Nothing at all, I'm sure.
- John! - Look! [ Yelps .]
Help! Help me! It's trying to kill me! Professor, don't let it harm me.
It's not human, and it's not an android.
What is it? I don't know.
I just pressed the buttons and made it.
- You made it? - Yes.
Maureen, get everyone back into the ship, quietly.
Don't startle it.
Just move smoothly.
Don, get on that switch.
I'll get it with the net.
Hey! Over here.
- [ Growls .]
- Over here! Over here! Here.
Here.
Over here.
Hah! Hey! Hey, hey! Get him away from that switch or he'll kill me! Hey! Hey! Get set with that switch! Now! Whew.
Well.
Well.
You're gonna have to tell us what happened to the Robot, Smith.
I told you before.
He probably just wandered off somewhere.
- What's happened to him, Smith? - I wouldn't know.
I'm not his keeper.
- Where is he? - Really! Anyone would think that pusillanimous pinhead is more important to you than I am.
- You wouldn't want me to answer that, would you? - Cease and desist, Major.
I know nothing of this matter.
[ John .]
All right then.
Have it your way.
As of now, you are confined to quarters till the Robot returns or until you tell us what happened.
Confined to quarters, indeed.
We shall see.
That would give us exactly in Point "Z.
" Now, does that come out 7-2-1? - [ Don .]
I'll have to check.
- All right.
We move to this sector, and it would be 484 million miles probably cutting the whole thing in half.
That should be 3.
1.
Can you hear me, dear old friend? Can you hear me? Oh, please! Please get up! You bubbleheaded booby! You got me into this frightful predicament! Get up! Get up, you hear? Get up! [ Yells .]
Oh, good heavens.
What have I done? [ Whirring .]
Oh, I do hope nothing serious will happen.
Oh, the pain, the pain.
[ Whooshing .]
No! No! No! [ Screams .]
Oh, no! Stay away from me! Don't hurt me! I'm innocent, I tell you! No.
No.
Stay away from me.
Please stay away from me.
Don't hurt me.
Can't we be friends? Oh, please.
Please, sir, I've never done anything to you! Please don't hurt me! Don't! Don't, I tell you! I-- I-- Stay back.
Stay back! - No! - [ Beeping .]
"Conditioned Reflex System"? "Obedience"? He appears to be afraid of me, I think.
[ Electronic Voice .]
Command.
All your orders will be obeyed.
Really? We shall see.
Attention! Hands on hips.
We shall do deep knee bends at the count of one.
One! Two! Three! Four! Enough.
About face! March.
Oh, lovely.
That is obedience.
About face! Yes.
Now, pick up that mess of metal and set him in the corner.
How very nice this is going to be.
Uh I've searched the ship from top to bottom.
- Smith just isn't on board.
- Where could he have gone now? Wherever he is, it's a sure thing he's got the Robot with him and he's up to his diodes in some kind of trouble.
I'll bet I know where he is.
He went back to that cave.
I just know he did.
It's too dark to go looking for them now.
- What do you think? First thing in the morning? - We can't leave 'em out there.
Suppose they really are in some kind of trouble.
Listen, Will, if Smith's in some kind of trouble it's a sure thing that he caused the trouble and he's not on the receiving end.
And whatever it is, it won't get any worse before morning.
He's right, Son.
We'll get a good night's sleep and start early.
- Hey.
Bedtime.
- No! [ Sighs .]
[ Sighs .]
Thank you, but no.
A third dessert is really going too far.
[ Sighs .]
Not too bad, you know.
Not too bad.
Mind you, the sauce of the Coquille St.
Jacques could have been the slightest bit richer and the chateaubriand the slightest bit juicier.
But all things considered, not too bad.
So, you lugubrious lump your friends think they have me incarcerated, do they? Confine Dr.
Smith to his quarters.
That's what the professor said.
Indeed! I'll confine them to their own quarters before they know what they're about.
And I can do it.
I've learned how to create my own servants.
Marvelous, strong, brave creatures who are eager to do everything I wish.
I know you're all beaten and battered, but you can hear me and I know that you've seen all these things with your own scanners.
Haven't you? It just occurs to me, my dear old friend these wonderful, brilliant creatures of mine make of you an obsolete piece of scrap metal! - What do you say to that? - They are just mindless cyborgs, Dr.
Smith.
I am a highly complex computer-oriented mechanism with many skills programmed into my memory banks.
I may be battered, but far from obsolete.
Fiddle-dee-fie.
You saw the magnificent gourmet repast my creature prepared for me.
You could never do that.
The Coquille St.
Jacques was not very good.
- You said so yourself.
- It will get better.
I'm just learning to manipulate all the levers of the cyborg machine.
Let me tell you-- even though I'm still in the experimental phase of my building program my cyborgs can do many more things than you could ever dream of doing.
- Huh! - "Huh" indeed! You're just jealous.
I'll demonstrate.
You, sir! Entertain me.
There was once an intergalactic salesman whose spaceship developed a retro-rocket warp.
So he was forced to pull in for repairs at a remote solar farm.
- And the solar farmer had a very pretty daughter.
- You heard it.
I was programmed for sophistication.
Silence, both of you! Spare me these unfunny jokes.
We shall have music.
Sophisticated music and dancing.
That is what I want.
## [ Instrumental: Upbeat .]
Observe, ninny.
## [ Ends .]
To the reject pile with you, sir.
You have had it.
Poor unfortunate creature.
He couldn't make the grade.
As for you, sir one more word, and off goes your bubble.
- [ Groans .]
- Now remove all this furniture.
It's far too conservative for me.
I fancy myself rather baroque.
Well, back to the drawing board.
[ Electronic Voice .]
Try the controls that are marked "X.
" The variety there is better.
You will turn out a much higher quality product.
Why, thank you.
How very nice.
Thank you.
[ Running Footsteps .]
Dr.
Smith? Are you in there? Dr.
Smith? Where are you? Dr.
Smith? Dr.
Smith.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
We've gotta get out of here.
There are these-- [ Gasps .]
[ Laughing .]
William! Shouldn't you be back in bed, back at the Jupiter? - Is that really you, Dr.
Smith? - Well, of course it is.
And a good thing for you too.
If one of my subjects had gotten to you first, it could have been unfortunate.
- Subjects? - Yes.
The first of a hardy band of conquerors who will soon control the universe for me, their leader.
That will be all.
I'll call you when I want you.
You see, William, they obey my every command.
- But what are they? - Follow me.
Come along, William.
Come along.
There.
Do you see? Isn't it all splendid? Lovely.
It's lovely.
You see, I just press the proper buttons and the master machine makes them at my command.
They're terrible louts, really.
Very primitive.
But they are a beginning.
They will improve as I learn more about this controls panel.
Once my experiments have been completed I shall be able to create the most perfect fighting machines ever seen.
Invincible soldiers who will conquer the universe for me.
You don't believe me, do you? Very well.
I'll show you.
I shall create one of the great fighting men of history.
Not too bright and really no finesse, but they will get the job done.
Now watch carefully.
A fine new soldier for Zachary Smith's magnificent army will soon be ready for action.
Watch.
- It looks like it's baking a cake.
- Hush.
Come, William.
Come.
Come along, William.
There, William.
You see? Just as I told you.
One of the great fighting men of history.
- Why do they all look like you? - I told you.
I'm striving for perfection.
What could be more formidable than an entire army with my best features? Stop.
Now, behave yourself until I tell you otherwise.
There.
That's better.
The things a leader has to endure, William, you wouldn't believe.
Report to the barracks and await my further orders.
Stop! Cancel that order.
Report to the stockade and stand guard over the prisoner.
- What prisoner? - In times of strife, there are many prisoners.
- It's the Robot, isn't it? - Didn't he make a splendid soldier? Dr.
Smith, what did you do to the Robot? He meddled in affairs that did not concern him.
But not to worry.
I'm holding him in protective custody.
- You can't lock the Robot up.
He's your friend.
- Friend, indeed.
Alack and alas, one of the true curses of command-- we leaders can have no friends.
I'm afraid that includes you too, William.
Captain Smith! Here is another prisoner for your stockade, Captain Smith.
But, Dr.
Smith-- A leader must make harsh decisions, William, if he is to rule the universe.
Take him away, but don't harm him.
[ Sighs .]
Lovely, lovely.
It's all going splendidly, I think.
Don't worry, Robot.
It's just a dented diode and a twisted transistor or two.
There.
That should do it.
Can you hear me? Yes, Will Robinson.
- Does it hurt very much? - Only when I laugh.
[ Coughs, Groans .]
[ Parts Squeaking .]
Uh I feel stiff all over.
Well, I'm sorry, Robot but these repairs should hold till we get back to the Jupiter if we get back.
Okay.
Let's see what I can do.
- [ Sighs .]
- Any luck? I searched all over that end of the immediate area.
No sign of any of them.
I searched the other area, came up with the same thing: nothing.
First the Robot, then Smith, and now Will.
All missing.
That cave that Will spoke about-- Don't ask me how I know this, but I think that cave has the key to this whole thing.
Could take us days, maybe even weeks to find it.
Yes, I know, but it's our only answer.
We'll just have to keep searching till we do find it.
- I guess you're right.
We better get some weapons.
- All right.
Gentlemen, one moment, please.
You will have no further need for your weapons.
You are now in my protective custody.
Protective custody? Smith, you were confined to quarters, and you jumped camp.
I'm gonna see that you remain confined until you tell me where Will and the Robot are.
So sorry, Professor, but you are no longer in control here.
Look, I'm warning you, Smith! Show Professor Robinson who's in command here now.
Get the destructor capsules.
Hurry! All right, Smith.
Now, what's this all about? You're indeed fortunate, Major, that I am a compassionate man.
I could just as easily have ordered it to kill you.
What a magnificent emperor I shall make, don't you think? Firm, but benevolent.
Emperor Zachary Smith the First.
It has a good sound.
William and the Robot are my prisoners and will remain so for the time being and the sooner the rest of you learn to obey my orders the better it will be for all concerned.
Smith! Knock it off.
Have a care, Professor.
I'm in control now.
The next time you see me, I will be at the head of a whole cyborg army.
[ Disgusted Sigh .]
He's really flipped out this time.
We're gonna have problems.
- Emperor Smith! - Maybe he has.
But if he can build enough of those things, he might pull it off.
But we're not gonna be sitting ducks.
We're gonna construct whatever defenses we can as quickly as we can.
Now, let me see.
Now, let me see.
First I must have a general worthy of commanding my armies.
Hi! Robot, we've gotta get out of here and warn everyone.
Yes, Dr.
Smith must be stopped.
The universe is in enough of a mess as it is, without him being in charge.
There must be some way we can sneak past that guard.
Do you have any ideas? I could allow him to destroy me.
That would take all his attention.
While he was grinding me down and crushing my transistors, you might slip away.
Boy, is that a dumb idea! What would I do without you? Who would miss a stupid servomechanism one whose computers are constantly tricked and misled by Dr.
Smith? I don't think this is all Dr.
Smith's fault.
I think that machine is somehow taking him over.
Even so, enough is enough.
If we survive this, I have finally had it with that man.
That's it! If we survive.
- Now, listen.
I've got a plan.
- Yes.
Tell me about it.
You're gonna get sick, but not for real.
- You're just gonna fake it, see.
- But, Will-- Shh! Now, while you're faking it, I'm gonna sneak by the guard.
- Yes, yes.
That's an excellent idea.
- Thank you.
Splendid.
I've programmed all of his physical characteristics.
Now for his mental ability and instincts.
First, he must have the cunning and ingenuity of Napoleon.
The bravery of Alexander the Great.
And the leadership of Julius Caesar.
Yes.
The ferocity of Genghis Khan.
No! Don't put him out of his misery.
And don't call for help either.
He won't last that long.
[ Groaning .]
Closer.
- He wants you to come closer.
- Come closer.
You've got to help him.
He's extremely weak! - [ Robot .]
Closer.
- Please come closer.
His batteries are so low, you've just got to help him.
- Closer.
- You've gotta come closer.
- It's his last request.
- [ Moans .]
Closer.
Oh, closer.
No, it was just a-- a nervous twitch.
You see, he's got a nervous twitch.
He's so ill.
He can't control his movements.
You've got to help him! Do you want to have a bad conscience? - Please, come closer.
- Closer.
Closer.
Got ya! Run, Will Robinson! Run! I've got you.
You won't get away from me.
And the strength of Hercules.
[ Whirring .]
There.
Does that do it? You have left out one important ingredient.
Yes, of course.
The most important ingredient.
My brain.
There.
This will be my shining hour, my crowning glory.
I feel it.
Oh, lovely.
I can hardly wait to see it finished.
William! I thought I had you safely under lock and key.
Don't have your guard stop me, Dr.
Smith.
I'm getting out of here.
I just can't let you do this.
I'm going back to the Jupiter and bringing Dad and Don back here to stop you.
You don't seem to understand, William.
I have just finished preparing the greatest mixture of generalship ever known.
Once it is mingled with my brains no force in the universe will be able to stand before my armies.
You've changed, Dr.
Smith.
You used to do some strange things in the past, but you were always my friend.
You're different now.
This machine is taking you over.
Nonsense, my dear boy.
Of course I'm still your friend.
That's why I placed you into protective custody until it's all over.
Then I'll take you out and find a good place for you in my domain.
- You will be my chief advisor.
- No, thank you, Dr.
Smith.
- William.
William, you cannot-- - Stop! Let go! - I cannot let you escape.
William! - Let go! - Get off this thing at once! Oh, good heavens! - Help! What have I done? William! William! [ Yelps .]
Oh, I must find a way to reverse this thing! Drat! Oh, William.
Please come out of there, and we'll be friends, just the way we always were.
I promise you.
Oh, William! Oh, no! Oh.
William! William! Where are you? Oh! Oh, no! No! What have I done? Oh, William, will you ever forgive me? William.
William? It's me, your dear Dr.
Smith.
Oh, please.
Please let's be chums again.
There is no further need for you.
You will be destroyed.
No.
No! No! I can't be destroyed.
I can't be.
I'm in command here.
- You have never commanded here.
- But I have.
I have! You only thought you did.
You were just doing the master mechanism's bidding.
But it's just a servile mechanism.
It cannot give orders.
Can't it? Look what it can do to your hand.
- [ Screams .]
- I will fix it.
There.
It is as it was before.
Now go.
The master mechanism no longer needs you.
It will now work through me.
I am a superior intellect.
It will conquer the universe.
No! I will conquer the universe.
You're not gonna stay here and just work on that thing while Will's out there? Look, I don't think that Smith would hurt Will but I do know he's coming back here with an army of cyborgs and we're gonna make a fight of it.
You don't really think he'd try to conquer us now? In his condition, he'd try anything.
I'd like you to get back in the ship.
Keep the doors locked at all times.
All right.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh.
I'm beaten.
Beaten.
- Something terrible has happened.
- Where's my son? Back at the cave.
Something dreadful has happened to him.
I think he's turned into a cyborg.
- Smith, I oughta-- - Where's the cave? At the bottom of the gully, on the other side of this hill.
Let's go! What a frightful mess I've made of everything and all I wanted was to rule the universe.
[ Shrieking .]
Come on.
Let's make it to the cave and get Will out of all this.
Let's go that way.
Don! Are you all right? Yeah, I'm all right.
Don't worry about me.
Go-- Go find Will.
All right.
Will! Will, where are you? Will, it's all right.
Come on out and show yourself.
- Where's Will? - I do not know.
I've been looking all over for him.
Will! - Is that you, Son? - There's no longer a Will Robinson.
I am now a useful cog in the vast, all-powerful mechanism.
Don't talk like that, Will.
We'll help you.
You are the ones who will need the help.
The master mechanism will conquer the universe.
We're getting out of here.
Come on, Son.
Destroy this place.
Come on! No, you mustn't! You mustn't! No, I mustn't leave! No! No! No! [ Coughing .]
[ Explosion .]
Here are your things.
I think I packed them all.
You can check, if you like.
I trust you, Professor.
I'm sure they're all here.
But you can't be serious about this.
- You cannot send me out into the wilderness alone.
- Can't I? But I'm the weakest person here.
I'll never survive out there all alone.
You'd be surprised at what a man can do when he has to.
But my delicate back-- It gets frightfully stiff when I'm forced to sleep in the open.
Then I suggest you find yourself a nice, warm cave somewhere.
Oh, please! Please don't send me out there all alone.
I'll change.
Really, I will.
When could you ever change? Then give me another chance.
It will all be different.
I promise you.
Look, Smith, I don't like this.
I don't like this anymore than you do, but this time you've gone too far.
All right, you nearly had us all killed but you almost sentenced my son to live endlessly as a cyborg.
But that wasn't me.
That dreadful mechanism had me in its evil power.
- You saw that for yourself, did you not? - Yes, I saw.
I saw how it would have enslaved him to a life of mindless eternity.
- I saw.
- But I'm not to blame for that.
Yes, you are.
If you hadn't been so greedy, so insanely desirous of power Will would have never fallen into the clutches of that machine.
No, Smith.
You're too much of a liability to the safety of this organization for me to allow you to remain.
But I can change.
I know I can.
No.
I'll never change.
I'm afraid it's time for me to face up to the cold, hard facts about myself.
Greedy, rapacious Zachary Smith.
If ever there are riches or power or enormous glory to be had I know I'll always endanger the lot of you to get my hands on it.
You're a good man, Professor.
You're doing what you think is right to ensure the safety of all the others.
But I'll always be a menace.
I know it.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye, Smith.
Would you be good enough to say good-bye to all the others for me? And tell them that if ever again they think of me in the future I would be very pleased if they would think of me kindly.
And tell them that I know I do bad things from time to time but I don't mean it.
It's just that, well, I can't control myself.
All right.
I'll tell them.
But I think they already know that.
Thank you.
You're very kind.
Kinder than I deserve, considering all the trouble I've caused.
You needn't worry about me.
I'm very resourceful and self-sufficient when I have to be if I survive.
Good-bye.
- Smith! - Yes, Professor.
Okay.
We'll give it one more try.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I shall turn over a new leaf.
I shall be a new man.
You'll see.
You won't be sorry.
I better not be sorry.