Money Heist (2017) s03e06 Episode Script
Everything Seemed Insignificant
1 A Netflix Original Series Sergio.
Did you stay up late studying again? Come downstairs.
We're waiting for you to eat breakfast.
Tatiana is here.
Good morning.
Prince Hamlet.
May I introduce you to Tatiana? Hello It's a pleasure.
Isn't she the most beautiful woman in the world? Really? I didn't know! What do you do? I'm a concert pianist.
Soloist of classic piano? Yes, Schumann, Chopin, Bach.
- She has heavenly fingers.
- For piano and for robbery.
Excuse me.
She's a thief and a good one.
Piano and jewels are my two specialties.
By the way, she loves the idea of the Bank of Spain's robbery.
She knows.
- She knows? - Yes.
There are no secrets between us.
Actually, she likes it better than yours at the Royal Mint.
Can we take a minute to talk in private? Are you crazy? That may be.
Andrés, what's going to happen once they offer a million dollar reward for any information? With a job like this, it will surely happen.
- Don't go there.
- What? You're insinuating that the love of my life is going to betray me.
I'm not insinuating it, I'm saying it.
But, okay, let's believe in true love - Fuck! - Let's go inside.
You were saying, "Let's believe in true love", and I say, "Of course".
Yes, let's assume Tatiana won't sell you out.
Listen to me! She's a thief.
What if she has to choose between ratting you out or going to jail? It's so easy to talk about love when you've never known it.
I'm being objective, my perspective isn't deformed by sentimentality.
Let me tell you something about Tatiana.
I've traveled around Europe opening safes with her, and you know robberies are tense affairs.
There is always conflict.
"You didn't place the explosives right.
" "Where are the diamond bits?" It's normal to blame any mistake on the other.
But with her, that doesn't happen.
It doesn't.
It's like walking on clouds.
We've spent 14 hours in a stinky basement to open a hole in the wall.
And we made love as if there was no tomorrow.
Couples fight when they go to Marbella on holiday, we robbed Crédit Agricole and it felt as if we were on our honeymoon.
You felt the same the other four times you married.
That was a low blow.
Low and despicable, it doesn't do you justice as a brother or a man.
- Good morning, Giovanni.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
You allow two monks to get to the kitchen, and you have the plans on the walls! Please, they call me Mr.
Engineer.
They think we're academics, not robbers.
Why are you so pessimistic? How long have you known her? Tatiana.
How long? Why does it matter? Love can't be timed! Love is to be lived.
No.
You can't risk the whole plan for a woman.
That's the first rule.
Andrés, the first rule: "The plan can't be poisoned by an amorous relationship.
Never.
" Never.
It's not so difficult to understand.
It's seven p.
m.
We have to make a call.
Can you call Palermo, please? Palermo.
Situation? We've already done ten tons.
It's 10,700 kilograms turned into grains.
Two percent more than planned.
Breaking records, Professor.
Like Usain Bolt.
And the defenses? We're still welding.
We have two for now.
Any news? Everything's in control here.
There? No complications.
Over and out.
Break into the bank.
Don't doubt it.
We're evaluating risks.
Luis, look at me.
I have a pill box on my nightstand with pills of every color.
I feel weird if I am not wearing pajamas.
For two years, I have had erectile dysfunction because of those fuckers.
Post-traumatic stress.
What you have to do is stop coming here.
Go with Merche to your hometown, rest and take care of yourself.
And don't turn the fucking TV on.
Luis, don't make the same mistake I did.
If you have to drop a 20-megaton bomb on them, you do it! Just do it! Don't be afraid of the consequences! That's better than dropping small shitty bombs every two hours.
Because these fuckers, if you aren't forceful, they'll shit all over you.
They can shit on me as long as they want, as long as they don't reveal state secrets.
If we break into the bank, Alfonso, we will all end up in court.
Or something worse.
What do we do then? Should we sit back and watch, as if we were tied down? If they have that advantage, we neutralize it.
Do people know what those secrets are? No! Not even God knows.
Well, Intelligence knows those secrets.
What paper is used, what stamp.
Wonderful.
Let's fabricate our own secrets.
Let's contaminate the editorial offices of all the newspapers and TV networks in this country, as the Professor would do.
Sierra, please, what you're Superintendents bought by drug dealers, ministers accepting bribes, orgies paid with the cooperation's funds.
All in.
What the fuck are you saying? Listen to me.
We can't do that, we would destroy the system's credibility.
Police, politics, institutions Everything! No! The media they'll start to verify the information.
And everyone will have an alibi.
Where was whatshisname? In his hometown! For fuck's sake! Where else? And the Minister? In a meeting in Brussels.
And once the Professor, our dear shepherd, publishes the real state secrets not even God will be able to tell the lies from the truth.
We would have deactivated the ace up their sleeve.
And do you know what's best of all? That by the time he tries to recover, we'll have gotten in and out of the bank.
That, I swear to you.
Day 2 Are you all right? My stomach hurts.
From being shot.
Here.
It's hard, because of the impact.
Poor you.
And I'm constipated.
With this situation, you can imagine.
Of course.
Can you pass me the coffee, please? Come here.
Me? Yes, you.
Of course.
Who else? Stand up and come here.
Come with me.
I can't believe it! Go, go! What the fuck are you doing? I'm sorry! Did you try to flirt with that girl by talking about poop? I was just saying my tummy aches because of the gases.
What an idiot! Okay, okay.
Listen to me.
Do you like that girl? Yes.
- I like her very much.
- Very much.
Very much.
Did you think that talking about being constipated, about your fucking bowel obstruction, was a good way to seduce her? Listen to me.
You have to From now on, you're a fucking hero.
A fucking hero.
Nothing hurts you.
You are going to give her your food ration every day.
Every one of them.
And if I get cocky, you're going stand up to me.
Starting now.
Stand up to me.
Stand up to me, fuck! Yes, sir! I'm sorry.
For what I did.
For shooting you in the vest.
I was having a tough time.
Don't worry, Mr.
Denver.
I know these things happen during robberies.
It isn't easy, Miguel.
It isn't.
But let me tell you something.
I know that with my intelligence and that roguish smile you have, that tenderness, you're going to win Amanda over.
Am I right? You are much better up close.
Well, I do what I can, Mr.
Denver.
Of course.
Now, go to the toilet and don't come out until you're done pooping.
Go.
Mr.
Denver.
What's up? If you're there, I can't concentrate.
We interrupt this program.
The biggest secret filtration has just happened in the history of our country.
This newspaper has had access to more than 100 classified documents.
Spain sold cluster bombs to Saddam Hussein six months before Iraq's invasion.
It's one of the CNI's files.
A massive leak of the secrets that were kept in the Bank of Spain.
- All digital media.
- Those secrets are fake.
They're neutralizing the best bargaining chip we have to negotiate for Rio.
That's not it.
They're knocking down our shield.
They're going in.
Of course, Mr.
Minister.
Gentlemen, we have a green light from the prime minister.
Formation! We're going to inject gas at an extraordinary pressure.
Halothane, highly narcotic.
In 30 minutes, they should all be unconscious, but be ready to face any kind of surprise.
Palermo, do you copy me? I'm listening, Professor.
They're going in.
I need you to gather everyone.
I repeat, they're going in.
When? What kind of attack? I don't know yet.
Keep in contact.
Marseilles.
They're going in.
We need to know through where.
Report on any kind of movement.
We need to get off the regional road.
Find another route.
In 300 meters, turn left.
Dirt road.
What's going on? We passed that car 90 kilometers ago yesterday.
Are you sure it's the same one? M5354XX.
It's the same! Don't talk to me like that! - Not now, please.
- Never! The antenna, fuck! Palermo! Palermo, do you copy? It's stuck.
We need to get it out.
Start the car! No! Look, Dad! It's the Professor! Dad! It's the Professor! The Professor! And the Inspector! Yes, that's right, I'm the Professor, and she's the Inspector.
Lisbon.
No zeppelins have flown over here.
No.
What? Do you need help to get the van out of the mud? Come on! Come on, we can do it in a minute! Come on! Come on! Come on.
Wait for her to get into the van.
Wait.
Come on, let's get into position.
Come on! Push! Push! Come on! We're close! Come on! Push! Come on! Something weird is going on.
I thought they were hostages.
Boy! Weren't you a hostage? They hired me, okay? Now, everyone shut the fuck up! Ladies and gentlemen, they're coming in.
And we all know what that means.
I would love to have more information.
Sadly, we don't.
So we only have one option left.
To use violence as a dissuasive method.
What? The first armored car we see, we will fire at them, so they will back down.
Is that what the Professor said? We've lost contact with the Professor.
And I don't know if it's a technical problem or something worse.
The thing is that we're alone.
And I'm in charge now.
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
We don't know how they'll enter or if they'll use armored cars.
Will they lower themselves from the ceiling or come out of the sewers? Tell me.
Where the fuck are you going to launch those missiles? Did we lose our minds or what? Guys, fuck, don't.
Our people are out there.
We got in here by throwing money.
Not bombs.
That would never be one of the Professor's strategies.
He would try to buy time.
So Miss Trigger-Happy now proposes to buy time.
Funny.
Do you know what I think, Tokyo? What do you think? You know that if we use the anti-tanks, they won't give you Rio back.
They will burn us with napalm.
What the fuck is up with you? Come on.
Wake up! Fuck! - I'm sorry.
- No.
I'm sorry.
We already discussed this, Tokyo.
Love.
I'm sorry for your romance, but it's time to defend ourselves.
Bogotá.
This one.
There's no time! Hurry up! - Come on.
- Yes.
Stop that nonsense, girl.
Now this is the only friend you have.
- Where is everyone else? - I think This needs a little more oil.
No, don't shoot.
Please! He's from the gang, yes! He is.
Cincinnati is part of the gang.
He didn't kill me! Don't kill dad! - Kill policemen.
- No! It's a guitar.
How do you play a guitar? A guitar! Yes.
Yes.
It's a guitar.
No.
Listen to me.
What you're thinking right now, forget it.
What? Do you read minds? I don't need to read minds, love.
From the moment we came here, you've been guilt-tripping yourself.
Stop that right now.
You were all so fucking happy.
Swimming in money, and now here you are.
It's normal to give myself a guilt-trip sometimes, isn't it? I'm going to tell you one thing.
And you're going to brand it on your pretty forehead.
You're a free woman.
You're free to go to a party, you're free to leave an island, and you're free to leave the planet if you want.
Understood? Do you know who fucked it up first? The Professor.
Yes.
One doesn't need to know you very well to know you can't stand living on a desert island.
What are you now? Bin Laden? Are you? No, you're Tokyo.
And the second one who fucked up was Rio.
He bought the phones.
He couldn't help it and he called you.
But do you know what matters the most? We aren't here to do you a favor.
Look at this big birthday cake.
We're here because we're adrenaline junkies.
We're adrenaline junkies! So stop looking at Cincinnati as if he is an orphan.
No, stop that, and let's enjoy ourselves! Because this is a party.
Party time, sister.
Bravo! Everyone to the table! What the fuck is this? - Artichokes.
- Artichokes? There wasn't any alfalfa left? Come on, the monks gave us a lot of vegetables, so grilled vegetables! And I'm a vegan, which you always ignore.
Today's my birthday, we're eating vegan.
I ignore it because vegans are the new Taliban.
- Come on! - Terrorists! - What? - You won't stop until we die of boredom! Boredom, why? Everything that's healthy is boring.
Nobody invites their friends over to eat deliciously cooked artichokes.
Because eating artichokes isn't fun.
What's fun is eating lamb with friends or grilled piglet.
Or gathering 50 friends at a country house and eat a cow.
That's fun.
I'm sorry for the cow, but that brings people together.
Meat unites, cows unite and artichokes divide.
Then, I don't know why they say, "Eat healthy, eat a vegan pussy.
" For you, I can become a vegan, love.
Not even with a ten-foot pole, honey.
Professor.
What probability do we have of leaving the bank alive? Right now, I would say less than 50 percent.
Then, I want to say something.
Well, I won't say it myself, but it's practically the same.
Missing your lips I cried for the first time And I cursed meeting you Because I can't stop loving you I wanted to make you my wife With no love, I searched for luck I started to use guns And fate brought me death MarÃa, my life, my love I won't ever stop Loving you With bullets, I lost you You won't ever see me again MarÃa, my life, my love I won't ever stop Loving you What happened here, Manolo? As you can see, the van is stuck in the mud.
Where did you get this van? I borrowed it from my cousin Antonio, from Madrid.
It's the Professor's.
What are you saying, Perico? My cousin Antonio is a teacher in Madrid.
Is he? Juani and I are going to Portugal in that van.
Seven days.
Please, shut up! And there, we will eat cod.
This thing is huge.
This is like a house inside, isn't it? Yes, like a small flat.
- Can I go in? - No! Look at your boots! They're dirtier than a cow's ass! I mean your soles.
You will stain the carpet, man.
Don't worry, man.
Here, done.
A kitchen and all.
A fridge.
What a place! It's very comfortable.
Teachers make a good living, don't they.
I'm going to buy one like this once I retire.
- Yes? - Yes.
I'll get a car to get this out of there.
Thanks, Paco.
At your service.
Push! Wow! Give me a hug, Professor! Tell me, Marseilles.
It's a tank truck.
They're putting tubes through the ventilation pipes.
Anything else? That's all.
Thank you.
Narcotic gas.
It's probably halothane.
I know Sierra.
She's going to do what Putin did in the Dubrovka Theater.
How far away are we from the exchange point? Twelve kilometers.
Hello.
Is someone here? Turn up the volume.
to prevent a death.
As an example, should we use harsher interrogations techniques on terrorists? What do you think? Are their rights being violated? The life of an innocent person is worth more than a terrorist's.
Are you confirming then, that the police practice torture? - No, no.
I'm only saying - Son of a bitch.
Can I go home already? No, you can't go home.
Your statements are risking everyone's safety.
You will stay here until you learn to keep your mouth shut.
Where were you during the previous robbery? Excuse me.
Because I was there.
Facing the terrorists, saving the lives of 19 hostages.
You brought me here as an expert.
I may be very wrong, but I think you realized you don't know shit and this is over your head.
Do you know what your problem is? Your life is shit.
You talk to your followers, they applaud you, and all this attention makes you cum, right? But when you get home, there's no one.
Your wife left you.
You live in an apartment full of cardboard boxes.
You eat canned tuna, and your sons don't want to see you.
And you're obsessed with the kidnapping because it was the only noteworthy moment of your life, and you miss it.
That's why when you see a camera, you grab onto it like a baby to a tit.
You couldn't be more pitiful.
Canned tuna, you say? Actually, my life is settled.
I go from theater to theater, filling every seat.
I help them to improve their lives.
My book is an international bestseller.
And everyone absolutely everyone in this country considers me a hero.
Canned tuna? Bold ignorance! Now, if you excuse me.
No, friend.
You aren't going anywhere.
Emergency Connected.
Palermo.
Palermo, do you copy? The toilet's ventilation pipes may be the only access they won't control with bombs.
They were installed and widened 17 months ago.
Even so, it's a narrow passage.
It's 45 by 80 centimeters.
We will check that the gas is taking effect.
Halothane's concentration, 67 percent.
Gentlemen, we're going in.
This is a high-risk mission.
If they control it, that pipe is a damn slaughterhouse.
Halothane is a narcotic gas that makes you fall asleep in ten seconds when its concentration in the air is over 50 percent.
Colonel, we reached the screen.
It looks like there's someone there.
He's not moving.
The police broke into the bank the same way someone enters a nursery.
Five elite agents and 30 clips full of bullets to achieve a simple objective.
To slaughter us like lambs.
The truth is that we earned it.
We will do what Putin would do.
Shoot first and ask questions later.
We'll try to avoid that.
Understood? But in case of doubt, we assume there can be civilian victims.
Understood? Yes, sir.
Understood? Yes, sir! Clear.
Clear.
Clear.
Hostage.
Hostage.
Hostage.
Get down! What the hell?! On the floor! Take cover! Take cover! Exit through the left, now! Let's go! Barricade! Surviving such an operation is impossible, but by that time in our lives, we were experts in making sure nothing was impossible.
Palermo.
10 minutes before Palermo, do you copy? They're using narcotic gas.
Professor.
It's Tokyo.
Professor, all the entries are blocked.
Let's be sure about their entry route.
They'll wait for the building to be filled with gas.
We have ten minutes.
Change of plans.
Retreat! To confront them, we only needed oxygen.
And to neutralize them, we only needed to block their path so they didn't have a way out.
Smoke! How are you, Suárez? Did you see the bars? They're pretty, right? It's plastic explosive RDX! Exactly.
They're more than 40 kilograms distributed in seven charges.
I imagine I don't need to explain what would happen if any of you dares to touch a light beam, do I? Because this is how this works, the detonator is connected to a photoelectric cell, and if a charge explodes, the rest of them do as well in solidarity.
Is your bomb expert here? Fuck! Then, I am going to recommend that you calm down because you're using up your oxygen, and you will start breathing halothane.
Therefore, lie back, curl up and kiss each other good night, boys.
Thirty-five minutes incommunicado.
We're preparing a rescue mission.
General, we can't do that.
They'll riddle them with bullets through the same hole.
We don't know what happened there.
We know we heard the Browning machine gun and that there was return fire.
Then, nothing.
It's him.
MartÃnez.
Professor? I guess you're wondering what happened to Inspector Suárez and his four men.
What do you have to say about it? That his behavior was exemplary.
I would describe the operation as commendable.
But how would I put it? There were complications.
Don't worry, their health is in perfect condition, of course.
Actually, we're sending you a video right now so you can be sure.
MartÃnez! I think it's better if you see it.
I'm Inspector Suárez, head of the Special Operations Team.
We're captives.
But I have to say we're being treated well.
I beg the authorities to order a permanent ceasefire.
Very good! Very good! What's next? Come on! What's next? Come on! One morning I woke up.
Beautiful, goodbye Beautiful, goodbye Beautiful, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye One morning I woke up And I found an invader Very entertaining.
But he's sending it to us, not to the press.
I deduce that the Professor wants to negotiate.
I see you're a real artist.
I'll offer you something better.
I'll offer you an exit.
The Committee against Torture of the United Nations has opened an investigation into the Cortés case.
It's a matter of hours before they send forensic doctors to interrogate him and neither you nor the presidency want that.
Son of a bitch.
Your only solution is to hand over Rio.
I am not going to hand a prisoner over.
The police doesn't hand over thieves.
Yes, of course, but there's a second reason.
Your operation made it quite obvious that you've already decided to kill us.
But under custody, you can't eliminate Cortés.
However inside the bank, in an escape, in a chase you can.
I'm offering the state a better situation than the current one.
I'm saving you from the huge international ridicule of spreading the video of your elite commando singing "Bella Ciao".
Hand him over.
We accept the exchange.
Hand him over.
I want all the hostages and GEOs.
I need to sell this as a victory.
I will give you 40 hostages and your elite commando.
You can sell that as a victory.
It's eight p.
m.
No.
I want light.
We'll make the exchange at eight a.
m.
I am not going to get 40 civilians out of there without knowing what's going on.
Accepted.
Take care of it.
Of course.
MartÃnez! Tokyo, they've accepted.
Hello.
Did you sleep well? How long have I been asleep for? Fourteen hours.
I'm very sleepy.
You asked for something to sleep.
And they gave you an elephantine dose.
Don't you remember? Right.
Come on.
We've to get you all dolled up.
You're going to be on TV.
Let's go.
Come on.
Where are you taking me? To school.
Do you want me to make you some cereal? Are you really going to be a mother? Will you go to your son's school to ready the kids a story? Of course.
And we will bring them lollipops to bother all those sexually frustrated mothers who say candy's bad for kids.
Alicia.
Your son won't love you.
But you will adore me.
Let's go.
Are you going to tell me where we are going? To school.
Hostage swap at the Bank of Spain And the impossible was there.
We had to make a racket, but everything seemed insignificant to me when I saw Rio getting out of the car.
He was alive.
Disoriented and out of sorts.
But he looked so handsome.
Did you stay up late studying again? Come downstairs.
We're waiting for you to eat breakfast.
Tatiana is here.
Good morning.
Prince Hamlet.
May I introduce you to Tatiana? Hello It's a pleasure.
Isn't she the most beautiful woman in the world? Really? I didn't know! What do you do? I'm a concert pianist.
Soloist of classic piano? Yes, Schumann, Chopin, Bach.
- She has heavenly fingers.
- For piano and for robbery.
Excuse me.
She's a thief and a good one.
Piano and jewels are my two specialties.
By the way, she loves the idea of the Bank of Spain's robbery.
She knows.
- She knows? - Yes.
There are no secrets between us.
Actually, she likes it better than yours at the Royal Mint.
Can we take a minute to talk in private? Are you crazy? That may be.
Andrés, what's going to happen once they offer a million dollar reward for any information? With a job like this, it will surely happen.
- Don't go there.
- What? You're insinuating that the love of my life is going to betray me.
I'm not insinuating it, I'm saying it.
But, okay, let's believe in true love - Fuck! - Let's go inside.
You were saying, "Let's believe in true love", and I say, "Of course".
Yes, let's assume Tatiana won't sell you out.
Listen to me! She's a thief.
What if she has to choose between ratting you out or going to jail? It's so easy to talk about love when you've never known it.
I'm being objective, my perspective isn't deformed by sentimentality.
Let me tell you something about Tatiana.
I've traveled around Europe opening safes with her, and you know robberies are tense affairs.
There is always conflict.
"You didn't place the explosives right.
" "Where are the diamond bits?" It's normal to blame any mistake on the other.
But with her, that doesn't happen.
It doesn't.
It's like walking on clouds.
We've spent 14 hours in a stinky basement to open a hole in the wall.
And we made love as if there was no tomorrow.
Couples fight when they go to Marbella on holiday, we robbed Crédit Agricole and it felt as if we were on our honeymoon.
You felt the same the other four times you married.
That was a low blow.
Low and despicable, it doesn't do you justice as a brother or a man.
- Good morning, Giovanni.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
You allow two monks to get to the kitchen, and you have the plans on the walls! Please, they call me Mr.
Engineer.
They think we're academics, not robbers.
Why are you so pessimistic? How long have you known her? Tatiana.
How long? Why does it matter? Love can't be timed! Love is to be lived.
No.
You can't risk the whole plan for a woman.
That's the first rule.
Andrés, the first rule: "The plan can't be poisoned by an amorous relationship.
Never.
" Never.
It's not so difficult to understand.
It's seven p.
m.
We have to make a call.
Can you call Palermo, please? Palermo.
Situation? We've already done ten tons.
It's 10,700 kilograms turned into grains.
Two percent more than planned.
Breaking records, Professor.
Like Usain Bolt.
And the defenses? We're still welding.
We have two for now.
Any news? Everything's in control here.
There? No complications.
Over and out.
Break into the bank.
Don't doubt it.
We're evaluating risks.
Luis, look at me.
I have a pill box on my nightstand with pills of every color.
I feel weird if I am not wearing pajamas.
For two years, I have had erectile dysfunction because of those fuckers.
Post-traumatic stress.
What you have to do is stop coming here.
Go with Merche to your hometown, rest and take care of yourself.
And don't turn the fucking TV on.
Luis, don't make the same mistake I did.
If you have to drop a 20-megaton bomb on them, you do it! Just do it! Don't be afraid of the consequences! That's better than dropping small shitty bombs every two hours.
Because these fuckers, if you aren't forceful, they'll shit all over you.
They can shit on me as long as they want, as long as they don't reveal state secrets.
If we break into the bank, Alfonso, we will all end up in court.
Or something worse.
What do we do then? Should we sit back and watch, as if we were tied down? If they have that advantage, we neutralize it.
Do people know what those secrets are? No! Not even God knows.
Well, Intelligence knows those secrets.
What paper is used, what stamp.
Wonderful.
Let's fabricate our own secrets.
Let's contaminate the editorial offices of all the newspapers and TV networks in this country, as the Professor would do.
Sierra, please, what you're Superintendents bought by drug dealers, ministers accepting bribes, orgies paid with the cooperation's funds.
All in.
What the fuck are you saying? Listen to me.
We can't do that, we would destroy the system's credibility.
Police, politics, institutions Everything! No! The media they'll start to verify the information.
And everyone will have an alibi.
Where was whatshisname? In his hometown! For fuck's sake! Where else? And the Minister? In a meeting in Brussels.
And once the Professor, our dear shepherd, publishes the real state secrets not even God will be able to tell the lies from the truth.
We would have deactivated the ace up their sleeve.
And do you know what's best of all? That by the time he tries to recover, we'll have gotten in and out of the bank.
That, I swear to you.
Day 2 Are you all right? My stomach hurts.
From being shot.
Here.
It's hard, because of the impact.
Poor you.
And I'm constipated.
With this situation, you can imagine.
Of course.
Can you pass me the coffee, please? Come here.
Me? Yes, you.
Of course.
Who else? Stand up and come here.
Come with me.
I can't believe it! Go, go! What the fuck are you doing? I'm sorry! Did you try to flirt with that girl by talking about poop? I was just saying my tummy aches because of the gases.
What an idiot! Okay, okay.
Listen to me.
Do you like that girl? Yes.
- I like her very much.
- Very much.
Very much.
Did you think that talking about being constipated, about your fucking bowel obstruction, was a good way to seduce her? Listen to me.
You have to From now on, you're a fucking hero.
A fucking hero.
Nothing hurts you.
You are going to give her your food ration every day.
Every one of them.
And if I get cocky, you're going stand up to me.
Starting now.
Stand up to me.
Stand up to me, fuck! Yes, sir! I'm sorry.
For what I did.
For shooting you in the vest.
I was having a tough time.
Don't worry, Mr.
Denver.
I know these things happen during robberies.
It isn't easy, Miguel.
It isn't.
But let me tell you something.
I know that with my intelligence and that roguish smile you have, that tenderness, you're going to win Amanda over.
Am I right? You are much better up close.
Well, I do what I can, Mr.
Denver.
Of course.
Now, go to the toilet and don't come out until you're done pooping.
Go.
Mr.
Denver.
What's up? If you're there, I can't concentrate.
We interrupt this program.
The biggest secret filtration has just happened in the history of our country.
This newspaper has had access to more than 100 classified documents.
Spain sold cluster bombs to Saddam Hussein six months before Iraq's invasion.
It's one of the CNI's files.
A massive leak of the secrets that were kept in the Bank of Spain.
- All digital media.
- Those secrets are fake.
They're neutralizing the best bargaining chip we have to negotiate for Rio.
That's not it.
They're knocking down our shield.
They're going in.
Of course, Mr.
Minister.
Gentlemen, we have a green light from the prime minister.
Formation! We're going to inject gas at an extraordinary pressure.
Halothane, highly narcotic.
In 30 minutes, they should all be unconscious, but be ready to face any kind of surprise.
Palermo, do you copy me? I'm listening, Professor.
They're going in.
I need you to gather everyone.
I repeat, they're going in.
When? What kind of attack? I don't know yet.
Keep in contact.
Marseilles.
They're going in.
We need to know through where.
Report on any kind of movement.
We need to get off the regional road.
Find another route.
In 300 meters, turn left.
Dirt road.
What's going on? We passed that car 90 kilometers ago yesterday.
Are you sure it's the same one? M5354XX.
It's the same! Don't talk to me like that! - Not now, please.
- Never! The antenna, fuck! Palermo! Palermo, do you copy? It's stuck.
We need to get it out.
Start the car! No! Look, Dad! It's the Professor! Dad! It's the Professor! The Professor! And the Inspector! Yes, that's right, I'm the Professor, and she's the Inspector.
Lisbon.
No zeppelins have flown over here.
No.
What? Do you need help to get the van out of the mud? Come on! Come on, we can do it in a minute! Come on! Come on! Come on.
Wait for her to get into the van.
Wait.
Come on, let's get into position.
Come on! Push! Push! Come on! We're close! Come on! Push! Come on! Something weird is going on.
I thought they were hostages.
Boy! Weren't you a hostage? They hired me, okay? Now, everyone shut the fuck up! Ladies and gentlemen, they're coming in.
And we all know what that means.
I would love to have more information.
Sadly, we don't.
So we only have one option left.
To use violence as a dissuasive method.
What? The first armored car we see, we will fire at them, so they will back down.
Is that what the Professor said? We've lost contact with the Professor.
And I don't know if it's a technical problem or something worse.
The thing is that we're alone.
And I'm in charge now.
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
We don't know how they'll enter or if they'll use armored cars.
Will they lower themselves from the ceiling or come out of the sewers? Tell me.
Where the fuck are you going to launch those missiles? Did we lose our minds or what? Guys, fuck, don't.
Our people are out there.
We got in here by throwing money.
Not bombs.
That would never be one of the Professor's strategies.
He would try to buy time.
So Miss Trigger-Happy now proposes to buy time.
Funny.
Do you know what I think, Tokyo? What do you think? You know that if we use the anti-tanks, they won't give you Rio back.
They will burn us with napalm.
What the fuck is up with you? Come on.
Wake up! Fuck! - I'm sorry.
- No.
I'm sorry.
We already discussed this, Tokyo.
Love.
I'm sorry for your romance, but it's time to defend ourselves.
Bogotá.
This one.
There's no time! Hurry up! - Come on.
- Yes.
Stop that nonsense, girl.
Now this is the only friend you have.
- Where is everyone else? - I think This needs a little more oil.
No, don't shoot.
Please! He's from the gang, yes! He is.
Cincinnati is part of the gang.
He didn't kill me! Don't kill dad! - Kill policemen.
- No! It's a guitar.
How do you play a guitar? A guitar! Yes.
Yes.
It's a guitar.
No.
Listen to me.
What you're thinking right now, forget it.
What? Do you read minds? I don't need to read minds, love.
From the moment we came here, you've been guilt-tripping yourself.
Stop that right now.
You were all so fucking happy.
Swimming in money, and now here you are.
It's normal to give myself a guilt-trip sometimes, isn't it? I'm going to tell you one thing.
And you're going to brand it on your pretty forehead.
You're a free woman.
You're free to go to a party, you're free to leave an island, and you're free to leave the planet if you want.
Understood? Do you know who fucked it up first? The Professor.
Yes.
One doesn't need to know you very well to know you can't stand living on a desert island.
What are you now? Bin Laden? Are you? No, you're Tokyo.
And the second one who fucked up was Rio.
He bought the phones.
He couldn't help it and he called you.
But do you know what matters the most? We aren't here to do you a favor.
Look at this big birthday cake.
We're here because we're adrenaline junkies.
We're adrenaline junkies! So stop looking at Cincinnati as if he is an orphan.
No, stop that, and let's enjoy ourselves! Because this is a party.
Party time, sister.
Bravo! Everyone to the table! What the fuck is this? - Artichokes.
- Artichokes? There wasn't any alfalfa left? Come on, the monks gave us a lot of vegetables, so grilled vegetables! And I'm a vegan, which you always ignore.
Today's my birthday, we're eating vegan.
I ignore it because vegans are the new Taliban.
- Come on! - Terrorists! - What? - You won't stop until we die of boredom! Boredom, why? Everything that's healthy is boring.
Nobody invites their friends over to eat deliciously cooked artichokes.
Because eating artichokes isn't fun.
What's fun is eating lamb with friends or grilled piglet.
Or gathering 50 friends at a country house and eat a cow.
That's fun.
I'm sorry for the cow, but that brings people together.
Meat unites, cows unite and artichokes divide.
Then, I don't know why they say, "Eat healthy, eat a vegan pussy.
" For you, I can become a vegan, love.
Not even with a ten-foot pole, honey.
Professor.
What probability do we have of leaving the bank alive? Right now, I would say less than 50 percent.
Then, I want to say something.
Well, I won't say it myself, but it's practically the same.
Missing your lips I cried for the first time And I cursed meeting you Because I can't stop loving you I wanted to make you my wife With no love, I searched for luck I started to use guns And fate brought me death MarÃa, my life, my love I won't ever stop Loving you With bullets, I lost you You won't ever see me again MarÃa, my life, my love I won't ever stop Loving you What happened here, Manolo? As you can see, the van is stuck in the mud.
Where did you get this van? I borrowed it from my cousin Antonio, from Madrid.
It's the Professor's.
What are you saying, Perico? My cousin Antonio is a teacher in Madrid.
Is he? Juani and I are going to Portugal in that van.
Seven days.
Please, shut up! And there, we will eat cod.
This thing is huge.
This is like a house inside, isn't it? Yes, like a small flat.
- Can I go in? - No! Look at your boots! They're dirtier than a cow's ass! I mean your soles.
You will stain the carpet, man.
Don't worry, man.
Here, done.
A kitchen and all.
A fridge.
What a place! It's very comfortable.
Teachers make a good living, don't they.
I'm going to buy one like this once I retire.
- Yes? - Yes.
I'll get a car to get this out of there.
Thanks, Paco.
At your service.
Push! Wow! Give me a hug, Professor! Tell me, Marseilles.
It's a tank truck.
They're putting tubes through the ventilation pipes.
Anything else? That's all.
Thank you.
Narcotic gas.
It's probably halothane.
I know Sierra.
She's going to do what Putin did in the Dubrovka Theater.
How far away are we from the exchange point? Twelve kilometers.
Hello.
Is someone here? Turn up the volume.
to prevent a death.
As an example, should we use harsher interrogations techniques on terrorists? What do you think? Are their rights being violated? The life of an innocent person is worth more than a terrorist's.
Are you confirming then, that the police practice torture? - No, no.
I'm only saying - Son of a bitch.
Can I go home already? No, you can't go home.
Your statements are risking everyone's safety.
You will stay here until you learn to keep your mouth shut.
Where were you during the previous robbery? Excuse me.
Because I was there.
Facing the terrorists, saving the lives of 19 hostages.
You brought me here as an expert.
I may be very wrong, but I think you realized you don't know shit and this is over your head.
Do you know what your problem is? Your life is shit.
You talk to your followers, they applaud you, and all this attention makes you cum, right? But when you get home, there's no one.
Your wife left you.
You live in an apartment full of cardboard boxes.
You eat canned tuna, and your sons don't want to see you.
And you're obsessed with the kidnapping because it was the only noteworthy moment of your life, and you miss it.
That's why when you see a camera, you grab onto it like a baby to a tit.
You couldn't be more pitiful.
Canned tuna, you say? Actually, my life is settled.
I go from theater to theater, filling every seat.
I help them to improve their lives.
My book is an international bestseller.
And everyone absolutely everyone in this country considers me a hero.
Canned tuna? Bold ignorance! Now, if you excuse me.
No, friend.
You aren't going anywhere.
Emergency Connected.
Palermo.
Palermo, do you copy? The toilet's ventilation pipes may be the only access they won't control with bombs.
They were installed and widened 17 months ago.
Even so, it's a narrow passage.
It's 45 by 80 centimeters.
We will check that the gas is taking effect.
Halothane's concentration, 67 percent.
Gentlemen, we're going in.
This is a high-risk mission.
If they control it, that pipe is a damn slaughterhouse.
Halothane is a narcotic gas that makes you fall asleep in ten seconds when its concentration in the air is over 50 percent.
Colonel, we reached the screen.
It looks like there's someone there.
He's not moving.
The police broke into the bank the same way someone enters a nursery.
Five elite agents and 30 clips full of bullets to achieve a simple objective.
To slaughter us like lambs.
The truth is that we earned it.
We will do what Putin would do.
Shoot first and ask questions later.
We'll try to avoid that.
Understood? But in case of doubt, we assume there can be civilian victims.
Understood? Yes, sir.
Understood? Yes, sir! Clear.
Clear.
Clear.
Hostage.
Hostage.
Hostage.
Get down! What the hell?! On the floor! Take cover! Take cover! Exit through the left, now! Let's go! Barricade! Surviving such an operation is impossible, but by that time in our lives, we were experts in making sure nothing was impossible.
Palermo.
10 minutes before Palermo, do you copy? They're using narcotic gas.
Professor.
It's Tokyo.
Professor, all the entries are blocked.
Let's be sure about their entry route.
They'll wait for the building to be filled with gas.
We have ten minutes.
Change of plans.
Retreat! To confront them, we only needed oxygen.
And to neutralize them, we only needed to block their path so they didn't have a way out.
Smoke! How are you, Suárez? Did you see the bars? They're pretty, right? It's plastic explosive RDX! Exactly.
They're more than 40 kilograms distributed in seven charges.
I imagine I don't need to explain what would happen if any of you dares to touch a light beam, do I? Because this is how this works, the detonator is connected to a photoelectric cell, and if a charge explodes, the rest of them do as well in solidarity.
Is your bomb expert here? Fuck! Then, I am going to recommend that you calm down because you're using up your oxygen, and you will start breathing halothane.
Therefore, lie back, curl up and kiss each other good night, boys.
Thirty-five minutes incommunicado.
We're preparing a rescue mission.
General, we can't do that.
They'll riddle them with bullets through the same hole.
We don't know what happened there.
We know we heard the Browning machine gun and that there was return fire.
Then, nothing.
It's him.
MartÃnez.
Professor? I guess you're wondering what happened to Inspector Suárez and his four men.
What do you have to say about it? That his behavior was exemplary.
I would describe the operation as commendable.
But how would I put it? There were complications.
Don't worry, their health is in perfect condition, of course.
Actually, we're sending you a video right now so you can be sure.
MartÃnez! I think it's better if you see it.
I'm Inspector Suárez, head of the Special Operations Team.
We're captives.
But I have to say we're being treated well.
I beg the authorities to order a permanent ceasefire.
Very good! Very good! What's next? Come on! What's next? Come on! One morning I woke up.
Beautiful, goodbye Beautiful, goodbye Beautiful, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye One morning I woke up And I found an invader Very entertaining.
But he's sending it to us, not to the press.
I deduce that the Professor wants to negotiate.
I see you're a real artist.
I'll offer you something better.
I'll offer you an exit.
The Committee against Torture of the United Nations has opened an investigation into the Cortés case.
It's a matter of hours before they send forensic doctors to interrogate him and neither you nor the presidency want that.
Son of a bitch.
Your only solution is to hand over Rio.
I am not going to hand a prisoner over.
The police doesn't hand over thieves.
Yes, of course, but there's a second reason.
Your operation made it quite obvious that you've already decided to kill us.
But under custody, you can't eliminate Cortés.
However inside the bank, in an escape, in a chase you can.
I'm offering the state a better situation than the current one.
I'm saving you from the huge international ridicule of spreading the video of your elite commando singing "Bella Ciao".
Hand him over.
We accept the exchange.
Hand him over.
I want all the hostages and GEOs.
I need to sell this as a victory.
I will give you 40 hostages and your elite commando.
You can sell that as a victory.
It's eight p.
m.
No.
I want light.
We'll make the exchange at eight a.
m.
I am not going to get 40 civilians out of there without knowing what's going on.
Accepted.
Take care of it.
Of course.
MartÃnez! Tokyo, they've accepted.
Hello.
Did you sleep well? How long have I been asleep for? Fourteen hours.
I'm very sleepy.
You asked for something to sleep.
And they gave you an elephantine dose.
Don't you remember? Right.
Come on.
We've to get you all dolled up.
You're going to be on TV.
Let's go.
Come on.
Where are you taking me? To school.
Do you want me to make you some cereal? Are you really going to be a mother? Will you go to your son's school to ready the kids a story? Of course.
And we will bring them lollipops to bother all those sexually frustrated mothers who say candy's bad for kids.
Alicia.
Your son won't love you.
But you will adore me.
Let's go.
Are you going to tell me where we are going? To school.
Hostage swap at the Bank of Spain And the impossible was there.
We had to make a racket, but everything seemed insignificant to me when I saw Rio getting out of the car.
He was alive.
Disoriented and out of sorts.
But he looked so handsome.