Offspring (2010) s03e06 Episode Script

Darcy, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you, Geraldine.
I don't believe I've been ambiguous, but let me just say this again I'm not a Proudman.
You think that if you do these things, we're going to be a family.
We ARE a family.
No.
I know this thing between us is new, but I mean, is there any way we could? I think we're both old enough to know when it's the end.
All I know is there's been a volcano.
I'm stuck here.
All flights are grounded.
What? And I'm not pregnant.
Rosanna, this is Mick.
Oh.
Hello, Mick! How did the meeting with Rosanna go? That's all I've got.
That was good.
It's a pretty good start.
Thanks.
Is she hot? Well, you know, some people would think so.
I'm just not built like you.
I don't operate the way you do.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh, for fuck's sake! What do you want me to say? Do you want kids? Patrick, come home.
Can't you just give me some space? Are you scared? Yes.
I know I shouldn't be.
Good morning.
He didn't come home.
Just got to find the best way to handle this.
Why not just? Patrick, I love you.
I'm so sorry we had a fight.
I was just on my way to see you.
I'm sorry too.
Hey, I've got the motel until 10.
Do you want to wash each other with those tiny motel soaps and have high-quality make-up sex? But what if? I'm sorry we had a fight! It's too late.
You didn't come back.
I thought you didn't care.
I've moved on.
Those PJs are very tatty.
You should have made more of an effort in that department.
If you'd have left me alone, we might have had a chance, but now No.
Come on.
We can get through this.
Patrick, I love you.
Let's navigate our way through this together.
You're right.
You're so wise.
Hello.
Hi.
Firstly, let me apologise for my part in the argument last night.
I shouldn't have followed you.
That was wrong.
And secondly, I'm sorry if I said anything.
I'm sorry for everything.
The way things spun out of control.
Yeah, they did.
It felt terrible and I'm sorry.
Yeah, we don't have to keep apologising about last night.
Really.
There are bigger things we need to discuss.
Bigger things? OK! No, that's good.
Hey.
I'd like to swap these two on the list.
It's no problem for me.
So, let's find time, yeah? Yes.
Go to theatre.
Yeah.
Yeah, we can We can talk properly later.
Talk properly.
Yes.
That's just sensible.
Is something going on? Hmm? Peculiar.
I'm fine and dandy.
Fine AND dandy? Well just as well, 'cause you've got a day chock-a-block full of antenatal appointments.
Now, your bag is going to get chucked around by the baggage gorillas, so you'll need to be I will pack my clothes around the precious cargo.
Good.
Actually not that one.
No.
Andrew.
Andrew, don't worry.
These wines, they all look great.
If you can only have two, I want them to be the perfect two.
OK, great.
Go for it.
What time is your flight tomorrow? I've got to be at the airport at 5:30am.
Ooh, ouch.
Are you making the ultimate sleep sacrifice to drive him there? Yeah.
You don't have to.
It's crazy for anyone to have to get up that ridiculously early.
I'm happy to.
No, I'll get a cab.
I'm driving you.
OK.
I will pack these carefully.
Good.
Wow.
You guys are playing the whole goodbye thing very cool and casual.
Brother, I have never felt more uncasual about anything in my life.
Right.
It's just four weeks together is not long enough for him to say, "Come to London", or me to say, "Fuck it.
"I'll get Raj to manage the shop and come with you.
" Yeah, yeah.
I see your point.
Hopeless.
My back's been aching so much.
I asked a friend of mine what she did.
My friend suggested pelvic tilts and hallelujah, turns out pelvic tilts really help with the constantly needing to wee thing too.
Oh, good.
Are you finding it hard to focus on work? Yeah, I was awake all night trying to get my head around it.
Come on.
Get a grip.
You look worried.
Pelvic tilts won't hurt the baby, will they? No, no.
No, no.
Tilt away.
Thanks for coming to my place.
It's OK.
It's always a bit tricky when my son's sick.
Ollie, this is Mick.
Hello, Ollie.
Pleased to meet you.
I hope you don't mind him.
He's really friendly, but he does fart a lot.
Let me take that.
Thank you.
Ta.
Come on, mate.
Very good.
We'll see you in a fortnight.
Thank you.
Talk to Billie.
Billie and Mick fight like feral dogs.
She'll know how to handle this without getting tangled and Hi, you've reached Billie Proudman of Proudman Real Estate.
I'm Hey, Neens.
Hi, Mick.
I need to speak with Billie.
Is there a reason why I can't get through to her on her? Yeah, well, volcanic ash interferes with satellites, apparently.
OK, if you speak to her, can you please get her? Are you OK? Yep.
Fine.
You should come down to the pub tonight.
We're doing a mini gig just to, you know Just to perform some new songs.
Not sure we're No, I can't.
I've got something important to do.
OK.
Well, just if you're Got to go.
Bye.
So you're on your own.
Be patient, not paranoid.
Hi.
Who's next? Ka tie.
It's him again.
Dr Noonan.
What? He's walked past four times.
Don't hide behind the shrubbery, Mother.
Invite the man in.
Why would I want to do that? I'm curious to talk to the man whose genes make up half of my half-sister.
Don't encourage him! He must have questions.
With Zara's baby, I want to feel connected in every way possible.
Yeah, you don't power walk past Zara's place, do you? No.
But let's invite the poor guy in for a cuppa.
No! What what what is this? A chariot for me and the baby to cruise around town.
You can't put a baby in that! Its head will flop around like a beetroot.
I have done the research, Mum.
At 12 months, a kid can handle this.
Yes.
I think it's time we had a serious talk with Zara about this baby situation.
A serious talk? Yeah.
About what? Mum? What are you going to say? Mum?! Shit.
Mum! Hey! Mum, I need your laptop.
Uh, excuse me.
"Mum, can I please have your laptop?" Please may I blah, blah, blah? Well, if you're going to talk to me like that, why do you expect? Blah, blah, blah.
Listen, mate.
That's it.
Forget about the laptop.
Are you bored? Do you want me to take you back to school? You don't even look that sick anymore.
I AM sick.
Ollie, don't throw up in here.
Off you go.
Scoot off to the bathroom, please.
He's showing off for you.
Good to go? Yes.
Where were we? I'm sorry, Mum.
That's OK, Ollie.
That's OK.
Does your dog bite? No.
You can pat him if you like.
Dog slobber has bacteria in it.
Do you know about rabies? I'm pretty sure there's no rabies in Australia.
My friend's dog got parvovirus in Collingwood.
Well, um, he's had all his shots.
Look at him.
I reckon he'd love a pat.
You can stay in here, Ollie.
It's fine.
As long as you're quiet, not rude.
Do you want to play? Second verse? OK.
Right, they're all done.
Is Dr Reid still in surgery? Dr Reid? Oh, I get it.
Um, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's still in there.
Here's your next lot.
Is he avoiding you? No! Obviously, the man's busy in theatre.
Wait for an appropriate time to talk sensibly.
"Bigger things.
" Who says that, then walks off? Or it could just be you.
Are you avoiding me? Sprung.
Desperate.
I'm avoiding you because Patrick's been regaling us with the reasons why he can't stand one more day with you.
You're too neurotic to make proper decisions.
You're a control freak who can't control herself.
Too nosy.
Nosy was on the list, yeah? Major stickybeak.
Ooh, and you're over-involved with your family.
Let's face it, Nina.
Your appalling history with men is no accident.
Don't make a fool of yourself by trying to hold on to him.
Patrick.
Yeah? Can we just? Obviously, we can talk about this later when you've finished surgery and I have finished.
But just to be clear I've got to get back in a sec.
Yeah, I know.
It's just Needing a bit of reassurance here.
We're OK, aren't we? Now isn't a really good time to talk.
Should I have done something differently last night? Should I have stayed or? No, no.
But look, let's not have a rushed, half-baked conversation when we're both busy.
Yeah, OK.
You're right.
You're right.
Can we? We can talk tonight? Are you coming home tonight? I don't know.
What? I was awake all night thinking, realistically, about how we both see the future.
Hang on.
Are you? I don't want to bring you a whole lot of pain.
That's what I'm trying to avoid.
Are you breaking up with me? I hate this.
Um, I didn't want to have this conversation in the middle You're breaking up with me.
We can't control that bleeding so we need to get her into theatre immediately.
Are you ready to go? Anyway, thanks for giving up your lunch break.
I thought we should get to know you, given that I'm gestating your grandchild.
Which we're tremendously excited about, by the way.
Jimmy's explained that we're not He's explained his limited role, yes.
Mind you, Jimmy's growing up.
He's a lot more mature, don't you think? This doesn't exactly paint a picture of Jimmy as a fully-fledged adult.
See, his mother's only cutting up his food because Because of an injury he sustained when breaking into my flat.
Yeah.
Which doesn't inspire confidence in Jimmy as a mature partner, either.
No.
Jimmy is right here.
Are we all going to talk about me like I'm not present? Well, um Whatever the nature of your arrangement with Jimmy, we will offer any support we can.
Oh, rock-solid support.
You and your baby are welcome to be part of the Proudman family, such as it is! That's not how I see things operating.
I see.
Well, I hope I'll be able to have reasonable access to my grandchild.
I'm sure we can come to an arrangement at the appropriate time.
Amazing how you can function as a professional person at the same time as your insides are crumbling.
Varicose veins and insomnia.
Heartburn so bad, it's like white-hot magma in my gullet.
Itchy belly skin and haemorrhoids.
These patients have no idea your partner just broke up with you.
I just feel terrible.
Mmm, I know.
It can get very uncomfortable towards the end.
Flying through volcano ash is really dangerous for planes.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why they, um Volcano ash can block Pitot tubes.
Do you know what a Pitot tube is? It's part of a plane.
Right.
Well, I guess it's not good if it gets blocked, then, huh? Mick, is Ollie disturbing your work? No.
Oh, but, Ollie, am I disturbing your work? No.
Good.
Volcano ash can turn to glass.
No way! Now, you're just making stuff up to mess with my head.
"Ash can reach temperatures of 2,000 degrees "inside the engine of an aeroplane.
"The melted ash can solidify into a layer of glass.
" What?! Glass? How wild is that? I told you.
Can you not encourage his doom and destruction searches, please? Hey.
Kim said that was your last patient.
Yeah, I think we're finished.
Is something wrong? Oh Look, I was going to say, come to the pub and hear Mick and his new singer lady.
Oh, no, Cherie If you're feeling ratshit, come out.
Well When Patrick's done in the theatre, he can zoom down and join us, yeah? I should just go home.
Ugh, home.
Don't want to go back there now.
The whole thing was just excruciating.
Well, Zara's a forthright young woman, alright.
Still, in the long run, I'm sure she'll love having you help out with the baby.
In the meantime, you need a glass of wine.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what? I can do this.
Why don't you go and talk to Geraldine? She's cool.
You can sit there and watch the show.
Mick said I should sit next to you.
That's fine.
Mick's blocked that door.
When my daughter Nina was your age, she always counted the emergency exits.
Here we are.
Geraldine, um I'd like to thank you again for your apology.
It's greatly appreciated and, as it turns out, liberating.
Oh? All these years, I've been on the moral back foot, so to speak, but now, I feel released from that bond to you.
I don't know whether to feel offended or delighted.
Nina! Hi, darling.
Is Patrick coming? Yeah.
No.
I don't know.
Nina's still angry with me.
No, no, no.
I'm sure she's not.
Patrick coming down? Maybe later.
He's stuck in surgery.
How's your hand? Alright.
Can I have a drink? Alright.
Did he really mean break up? He said "realistically".
What does that mean? I'm miserable.
Tim leaves tomorrow.
I thought he was the man for me.
I thought you had a work thing.
Well, yeah.
But I was thinking Look, I keep wanting to say, "Let's take a punt on this relationship "and both of us go to London.
" How can I drop everything and follow you? I know.
It's too much to ask and I didn't want to put pressure on you, so I didn't say it, but I'm thinking now Fuck it! I love you, Andrew, and I'm pretty sure that you love me.
Yeah.
So, I mean, is there a tiny chance that we could? I stopped myself saying, "Let me come with you" because I didn't want you to think that I was chasing you round the world.
I want you to chase me.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming down.
Yes, thank you.
You are a test audience for some new material we've been working on.
Yes, a bit of an experiment and it could all go completely awry.
Anyway, thanks for being here.
Let's do it.
They love each other.
They only missed their chance.
Now look at them.
Girl, you're afraid And you know he's terrified too He's slipping away When he should be sticking like glue Don't let him throw in the towel You've got to fight to the final day That's it.
That's it.
You've got to fight, fight, fight for your love Soon he will be right, right back in your arms tonight But you've got to fight for all that you've got You were made for each other Don't let your precious love just die 'Cause if you're going down, girl Don't go down without a fight Fight, fight, fight for your love tonight Girl, you've got to fight, fight fight for your love tonight Girl, you've got to fight, fight fight for your love tonight Girl, you've got to Come with me.
Andrew's going to London with Tim.
Really? Those guys are finding a way to be together despite all of their problems.
Are we really going to break up? I never said break up.
You're the one that said that.
Yeah, because you sounded like you were Nina, I just wanted to talk later.
But it made it sound like it was ominous.
No, you pushed things up to some cliff in your mind.
Please don't make this about me being paranoid.
Well, you ARE paranoid.
Well, you withdraw.
And you don't want to look like the bad guy, so you forced me to call it.
Right, apparently, you know what I'm thinking, so you don't need to listen to me.
Don't walk away when it gets difficult.
Nina, you imagine your version of the world and how people are supposed to behave.
I know, I know.
We can't all behave the way you see it in your head.
I know.
I'll stop doing that.
I don't think you can stop.
Can we start again? I came back here because I think what we have is really precious.
Don't you? It's been amazing.
It has.
I love you.
But this happened very fast.
That's why I didn't realise it was spinning past the point I can handle.
We can work through problems, Patrick.
Yeah, but I can't give you the guarantees you want.
I don't want guarantees.
Yes, you do.
I can see how it'd be.
You'd want me to be different.
I'd always feel like I was failing you.
You'd keep hoping I'd change, I'd be ready to have a baby What? I never mentioned having a baby.
You'd end up hating me.
Now you're not listening to me.
No, I'm just trying to be realistic because there's a strong likelihood that down the track, we're going to cause each other a lot of pain.
You're doing a risk assessment on our relationship? Fuck it, Nina.
This is who I am, OK? These are my limits.
Can't you get that through your head? I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
Nina, please wait.
Nina! Hey, come here.
Look, come here.
Nina, it's not like that.
Oh, isn't it? What's it like? Are you going to say, "Let's take a risk and be together"? No, I'm just trying to be realistic.
Don't talk to me like that.
OK, what do you want me to say? You won't even fucking try! In case Patrick gets hurt.
That's because I can see all the things that can go toxic between us.
Yes, so do I.
It doesn't stop me from having a go.
You know, you're braver than me, right? That's piss-weak.
Nina, please "Please" what? Please make this easier for you? You're such a coward, Patrick.
You don't have the guts to break up with me, you don't have the guts to be with me.
If you don't want to be with me, then just fucking say it! I'm just I'm worried, OK? I'm worried.
Well, don't worry.
Don't worry anymore because any feeling I had for you is evaporating so fast, it's making me dizzy.
I don't even want to look at you.
Do you want me to get my stuff out of the house? Yeah, get your stuff out.
Pat.
Hey.
Sorry to barge in.
I rang the doorbell.
What's going on? I've got another load in the car, so What, your new house has burnt down? No.
Can I stay here for a while? Oh, you and Nina have had a monster fight.
You've broken up? Why? Can we please not talk about it? This is crazy.
I'm going to get the rest of my stuff, OK? Pat, you have to talk to me.
Whose idea was it? Hi, you've reached Billie Proudman of Proudman Real Estate.
Please leave a message.
Hey, Billie.
It's me.
I'm trying to reach you through a volcanic ash cloud.
Patrick and I broke up.
God, I wish you were here.
What's this? What's what? Your characteristic brooding demeanour is darker than usual.
OK, I'll tell you if you promise you won't speak about it.
Alright.
Nina and I split up.
I don't want to discuss it.
Don't do the cat's bum mouth.
My facial hair was designed to conceal that.
I can hear your thoughts clunking around in your brain anyway.
Clunking? No.
Thoughts pirouette across my brain.
Why have you broken up? I thought we agreed we wouldn't discuss it.
Yes, I agreed to that before I realised quite how stupid you've been.
I know what I'm doing.
Do you? Yes, right now, I'm doing the surgical list.
I'll grant you that Nina Proudman is not easy.
I don't mean easy in the sense that she's sexually promiscuous.
I know what you mean.
Yes.
Nina is hard work.
You're no skate across the icerink either, Mr Man.
How are you holding up, my darling girl? I've burned you a CD.
Break-up survival mix.
Baked goods.
Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
You can tell me to go away if you'd rather be alone, but Billie sent me over with an emergency package.
Selected DVDs.
Oh! Curly Wurlys.
Uh Oh, yeah.
Billie also sent a letter of agreement she wants us to sign.
Oh, confirming that we won't have sex with each other in her absence.
You know, Billie is really upset she can't be with you right now.
She'd swim back if she could.
I know.
She's investigating fishing boats.
You know, Patrick thought that I was I mean, I guess I am.
I am a control freak.
Control freak who's not very good at controlling anything.
Nina.
I have to go to work with him in two days.
Oh, God! Hey.
What brings you here today? I've been feeling strange.
I thought it might be something medical.
I'm not sure a physical examination would be appropriate, given the No! No! I think it might be stress-related, anyway.
Um you're under unusual stress at the moment? A lot of things have been overturned.
And this instability is making you feel? Are you doing that reflective listening technique? You're feeling you'd like me to stop? I am genuinely interested, Geraldine, if that makes any difference.
I don't know where I am.
I don't know how to be a mother to my children anymore.
From what I've seen, you've managed to raise three kids who certainly have a presence in the world.
Nina is a remarkable young woman.
Oh, my poor Nina.
That Patrick's broken up with her.
Oh, sorry to hear that.
It takes all my willpower not to go round to his house and shake him.
"Why don't you love my daughter? "What are you, a fool, throwing away this treasure?" Does Nina know you think these things? Shouldn't she? Jimmy.
Hey.
How's Nina? She'll be OK.
Oh, good.
I just wanted to see if I think my sister's an incredible person.
Yeah, you don't need to convince me of that.
I always liked you, Patrick.
But now, I can only assume you must be some kind of fuckwit.
Yes? Do you know about? I can't say.
Unless you already know about it? Nina and Patrick have separated.
So you know.
Yes.
I feel terrible for Nina.
And Patrick.
Hence, I am devising a number of strategies to intervene and repair the relationship.
Nina and Patrick's situation.
It's a flow chart all pretty much self-explanatory.
Resumption of dialogue which might lead to dinner for two at Luigi's.
Oysters? And some alcohol and possibly carnal knowledge.
No.
No, no, you can't do that.
No matter how much we want to.
All we can do is Feel melancholy.
And perhaps seek solace in each other's arms.
Yes.
There's only one thing I want right now.
I wish you were really here to talk to.
Use the aloe vera ones.
So your nose doesn't get too chafed.
Is it pathetic that the one person I wish was here to console me is the person that broke my heart? I used to love that we could just hang out.
Not talk.
Just be together.
Me too.
Easy as breathing.
It wasn't easy all the time.
No.
No.
How are you? No, no.
I can't be worried about you at the moment.
I can't be wasting emotional energy on you.
Fair enough.
Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? That even when I love someone, I can't make it work.
You have an amazing family.
Maybe you don't need a partner.
Don't say "partner".
It's not about having a partner.
It's about the fact that I need you.
You're not here anymore.
Man, our parents did a choice job on the two of us, didn't they? I pick dickheads to fall in love with and you pick sensational women and then push them away.
Thanks, Mum.
Oh, darling.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
You will handle this with the strong spirit that I know you have.
How should you tell everyone? Yes, Dr Reid and I have separated.
We ask that you respect our privacy at this difficult time.
Thank you.
Hi, Kim.
I'd like to let you know that Patrick and I have broken up.
What? Oh, Neen, I'm so sorry.
Don't be nice to me right now.
I might lose it.
OK.
You're ugly and you smell rank.
Thanks for that.
Anytime.
I'm telling you this in the knowledge that it'll spread round the hospital within hours.
Consider it done.
How should you approach him? With a strong spirit.
Hi, Liv.
How are we going? OK.
We're all going to help you get this baby out.
OK.
Thanks.
Let me look.
Is this little one being stubborn? I think we're ready for a big push.