Packed to the Rafters (2008) s03e06 Episode Script
Home Matters
RACHEL: (NARRATES) When you're 18, you can? wait to leave home.
But a few years on, you start to appreciate what you're actually leaving behind.
Oh, this is great.
I haven't seen this for years.
What's all this? Oh, just some stuff I fetched from the storage unit.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Look.
Nan's lamp.
From her pineapple period.
Are you sure I can have this, Grandad? Better than sitting out there going mouldy.
Well, it's great.
It's perfect.
It's gonna be perfect for our new apartment.
How do you know'? You haven't found it yet.
It's mere detail.
I know what it'll be like.
An inner-city warehouse, cute but cutting-edge, double doors opening onto a small balcony.
Shed for my tools.
Garage for the ute.
We probably can't afford a garage, but Jake'll just have to cope.
Spare bedroom for Alex.
A studio, all open-plan.
Near a park.
Somewhere quiet.
Buzzy, near cafes.
Close to work.
Close to work would be good too.
(GAS PS) (SIGHS) Wow, look at that! Yep, that's technology for you.
That's memories.
Beautiful ones.
Aww.
Well, Mum probably wouldn't think so.
Used to drive her mad, clicking that thing on and off.
It's funny the things that come back to you.
Hadn't thought about that for years.
No, me neither.
Do you remember the fuss you made about those curtains? They had to be pink.
My ballerina phase.
And remember you sewed coins into the corners to weigh it down.
Yeah.
20-cent coins.
You probably dug them out.
They're only 2 cents anyway.
Oh! Well, they might be worth something.
You could sell them on eBay.
No.
(SNIFFS) No, this is my past.
You have to promise me something, Mum, OK'? No matter how long I'm gone for, this will always be Rachel's room.
Oh, darling.
Well, with that giant 'R' on the wall, it could always be Ruby's room.
Mum! Or Dave's pool room.
I thought we agreed.
That's really hilarious.
You're funny.
OK, OK, I'll compromise.
Dave's pool room and the occasional guest room.
Rachel's room.
Take it.
Take all of them.
They're yours, not mine.
Mum, we haven't even found a place yet.
Alright? And, when I visit, I like the idea of them being here.
There is one thing I would like.
What? Fridge photos.
Like these ones.
Well, take it.
I've got copies.
Oi.
Things must be hotting up if he's on the fridge.
Oh, no, look, it's just a work photo.
Oh, yeah? Stuck itself up there, did it? What does Alex think about his new stepdaddy? Oh, stop it! (LAUGHS) I haven't told him, 'cause there's nothing to tell.
Well, he's on the fridge.
That's a pretty important nothing.
Look, it's nothing serious.
It might all blow over.
(LAUGHS) (DOOR OPENS) Hi, Gracie, bub.
Hey.
Hello.
Hi, Jake.
Doug.
Alright, I gotta go.
I'm having dinner at Rachel's.
I might catch you later.
See you, mate.
I'll put this in the fridge, yeah? Yeah.
Uh, just give me a second.
Yeah? Jake? About the key.
No.
No, no, no.
It's better than him breaking a window.
Look, it doesn't change anything.
It's not Doug's home, it's yours.
And I just couldn't bear it if you thought you were being driven away.
Mum, I'm moving out 'cause it's time.
And it's about time you found a good guy like Doug.
So go on, go for it.
You really don't mind? Of course not.
He's crazy about you, âGracie, bub (LAUGHS) Now, don't forget, drinks at the Rafters' tomorrow.
It's about time you guys finally met.
Bye.
RACHEL: So, do you think Doug will move in'? Nah.
Oh, maybe.
It's a big move.
Mum wouldn't do it lightly.
No, neither would I.
No, I know.
I did once before with Daniel, but I didn't do that lightly.
And I didn't go into it with my eyes open either.
So, what's the difference now'? Well, that time it was all about him and his space.
This is about us building something together.
A home.
Yeah.
So, every important decision, we both make it.
Even the unimportant ones.
Including that lamp.
You have to be kidding me.
That belonged to my Nan! Oh, Rach, we could have been so good together.
Nuh.
You love me, you love Nan's lamp.
Don't you start.
Wouldn't dare.
Uh, before Chel gets here, there's something we need to tell you all, so could you, uh'? I thought Chel was totally against that.
Yeah.
No kidney talk ever.
JULIE: Yeah, well, your dad put up some very strong arguments.
I don't want to make it a big deal.
Just wanted to keep you up to speed.
It's a great idea.
I think you should go for it.
Yeah, me too.
We all do.
So, what's for dinner? Steak and kidney pie? Hey! I'm warning you, no jokes in front of Chel.
As if.
Don't know any.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) And don't try to make any up.
Kidney.
Doesn't even rhyme with anything.
It's not gonna happen immediately.
My GP first, then a barrage of tests.
You know, it could take months.
Sydney! RACHEL: Oh, ignore him.
Ignore him, he's special.
Sorry, Dad.
Anyway, there's no guarantees.
We don't want to make it a big deal.
It's just something we're doing.
Together.
Oh, it's so much more than that.
It's such a gift.
I'm overwhelmed.
I feel all warm and gooey.
JULIE: Ooh, OK.
Well, I might put this one down.
I'll do it.
Oh, thanks.
So, Mama, are you all set and prepared for tomorrow'? Prepared? Yeah, for Grace coming over? Oh, yeah.
Well, it's just drinks, isn't it? Oh What, I don't have to lay on a banquet, do I'? No, no.
But, I mean, a bit of effort would be nice.
Right.
Well, dips and crackers? That sounds great.
OK.
There's a yummy taramasalata from the deli up the road.
Uhfish.
Mum doesn't eat seafood.
Oh, OK.
Well, something else, then.
Pété.
Oh.
Um, that's the other thing Mum doesn't eat as well.
Cheese and pineapple? Sounds great.
OK, great.
No.
No, Mum, no.
Rach, it's fine.
It's no biggie.
(LAUGHS) Does anybody know an accountant? Got to get my tax sorted.
Oh, don't you hate 'em'? Yeah.
Do you need a hand with it? Ha! Like you know anything about tax, Rachel.
No, you're right, Nathan.
I don't.
Nathan knows a lot about tax, though.
He'd be happy to help you out with that.
He's a whiz! Really? You wouldn't mind? Yep.
You wouldn't mind? âBite me.
Possess me like no-one ever has.
" Excuse me? No, not you.
My secret admirer.
You should see the things she writes to me.
It's like poetry.
âYour sharp teeth in my soft flesh.
" Who is she? Sookie Stackhouse? She hasn't told me her name yet.
Listen to this.
âI'm so hot for you.
I'm burning up.
" Oh, she must have the flu.
That's it.
I'm officially separated.
Are you OK'? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
It needed to be done.
Next stop, the finances.
Speaking of which, I should probably get an early night.
I've got hours of tax fun with Chel tomorrow.
Ooh.
Ouch.
I reckon Dad got the easy option.
Tell me about it.
Night, guys.
See ya.
Goodnight.
Poor Nathan.
I know.
How are we ever gonna relax around here with all that Sammy stuff hanging over our heads'? Mmm.
And how I can ever relax with that rooster looking at me? Hang on.
There we go.
Can't you just accidentally knock it off or something? I could move it closer to the edge and with a bit of luck, Carbo might knock it off.
He wouldn't mind.
He doesn't like it either.
But if no-one likes it, what's it doing there? Well, point one - it's not our house.
Yeah, but it is our home, isn't it? Of course.
Well, just as much as Carbo's.
Yeah.
So, check it out.
Why are we surrounded by his mum's ceramic zoo'? Hey, that money that your parents gave us for our wedding Yeah? that we're putting aside for a rainy day? Hey? Hey? It's pouring.
If we bought something together and put it in here, then we'd know it was ours.
Yep.
Make it feel more like home.
Mm-hm.
Yep.
Yep.
OK.
Good.
(CH UCKLES) RACH EL: They say home is where the heart is.
Or in my case, the lamp.
Wanted - a home for two people very much in love without a care in the world.
At least, that's what I thought.
These are all apartments.
No, relax, I didn't forget you.
What about that'? Surry Hills.
Rach, come on.
That for me? Oh, making her a cup of tea's a big mistake, mate.
Yeah, you're right.
She might come to expect it.
Well, that's alright by me.
MAN: Hey! Mum! Jake! Kill the fatted calf.
I'm home.
You didn't tell me Alex was coming home.
We didn't know.
Where is everyone'? Hey! Alex! Hey! I would've picked you up.
Ah, yeah, we missed you.
(LAUGHS) How you going, kid? Look at you.
Ah! RACHEL: Hey, I missed you.
Did you bring me a pressie? Oh, yesme.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) So, how was the flight? Oh, coffee first.
I can't talk without coffee.
Hi.
Who are you? Doug.
Friend of your mum's.
Did he sleep here? Alex, um Since when? Just a little while.
Not long.
Why didn't you tell me? I was going to.
You weren't here.
What's this? They're mine.
They're mine and Rachel's.
Yeah, we're gonna get a place together, Al.
There's a lot of stuff going on here, isn't there? Alex, you weren't here.
There are phones in New Zealand.
There's no need You can shut up! JAKE: Oi! Mind your own business.
I don't even know who you are.
Mate, you need to calm down.
What is this? Some kind of conspiracy? Home is where the heart is.
And for Alex and Jake, that was suddenly an issue.
Hey.
I was just texting you.
What did you say? Maybe we should leave the househunting for another day? Yeah.
How is it all in there? Uh, it's not great.
Mmm.
Can I ask you a big favour'? What? He won't listen to me or Mum.
And he trusts you.
He'll think I'm interfering, though.
Please, Rach.
You're practically family and right now, I can't think of anything else.
OK.
But don't expect any miracles.
Sent in the cavalry, have they? You calling me a horse? So, big changes, huh? So'? No-one cares what I think.
Of course they do.
Look, I'm sorry.
Jake really should have said something about him and I moving out together, it's Yeah.
Justwhen people are away, you don't Yeah.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's more we didn't want to interrupt your holiday.
Sure.
OK, and we got a bit carried away with all the things we were planning and that made us a bit selfish.
And as for your mum Who is that guy'? No, he's really nice.
Honestly.
I think you'll like him.
Yeah, we'll be besties.
(LAUGHS) Totally.
Totally besties.
You know, on the plane, I was thinking about how great it was to be coming home.
Yeah, well, home's still here.
It's just changing shape a little bit.
So, did you have a good time? Oh, yeah.
Get any Maori tatts? Not where I can show you.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Well, I hope I at least get to see some pictures.
Of the tatts'? No! No, I'll pass on that, thanks.
But some G-rated shots would be nice.
You could bring them along this afternoon.
Where? Your mum's coming over.
It's a bit of a parental meet-and-greet thing.
Mmm.
You will come, won't you? I don't know.
I might.
I might not.
I don't know if it's a good idea, leaving Mum and Alex together.
Oh, yeah.
They might actually have a conversation.
Bad move.
Well, at least Doug was tactful enough to leave, so that's a start.
Yeah.
I mean, think about it.
Alex gets home.
He's tired, he's thinking âYay!" And what does he get? He gets a middle-aged man in a dressing-gown who's acting like the furniture.
Of course he was gonna overreact.
He'll be fine? Yeah, he'll be fine.
Well, we'll think of you while we're out spending our wedding money.
Ooh, what are you gonna buy? Don't know yet.
Thought we might make the place a bit more us.
We've lived here long enough.
Right.
Have you run it past Carbo? I think we'll be safe.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Are you, er, who I think you are? I could be, if that's a good thing.
Yeah.
Could be.
You look hot.
Burning up, you could say.
I just moved in down the road.
Hmm.
Far down the road? Not very.
Quite close.
Number 40.
That is close.
Compared tonumber 42.
Well, maybe you should pop around sometime.
Maybe I willpop around.
SONG: Ain't no good But you ain't no good.
That's a new car.
It's nice.
Oh, it's not exactly new but it'll get me around.
I won't hug you.
No, it's probably best if you don't.
Wow! Chel, this garden looks so much better since you've been here.
Oh, well, house-sitting.
Just returning the favour.
Er, are you sure it's not too much of an imposition? No, it's a piece of cake.
Besides, it gives me a chance to show off.
Well, it's just a few bits of paper.
Five years? Well, every year it just gets harder and harder to face.
Thought I mentioned it.
Well, you probably did.
I probably just blanked it out.
I guess we'd better start somewhere.
Um.
.
OK.
Do you remember what this is from? Er, that's my membership receipt for the Communist Party.
You're a Communist? Not really.
Just seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's political party membership.
That's deductible.
That's good! We're off to a good start.
What about that one? We're gonna have to go up in price.
Everything we looked at was disgusting.
No, one place we looked at on the way back was OK.
It had a big yard.
It's practically in the South Pole.
JULIE: You've only been looking a month.
That place in the city was good.
It only had one room.
No.
It had two.
It had two rooms.
If you count the toilet.
Oh, Mum, that's not tarama'? No, it's hummus.
It's perfectly harmless.
Thank you.
You're the best.
I love you.
I hope you're all gonna get along.
Aw.
If we don't, the relationship's over.
Dad, just don't start, yeah? You've kept us at arm's length for long enough.
Are you ashamed of us'? Of course not.
Meeting the in-laws for the first time, it's a pretty big deal.
Dad, I said don't start! OK, now, you're all gonna have to be extra nice to Alex, please.
Rach, it's OK.
You got his text.
Alex is cool.
I'm sure he'll be fine.
Jake, could you get some parsley? It's in the pot at the back door.
Yep.
Thanks.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) I'll get it.
Alright.
That's them.
Dad, please, no jokes.
Even if you think they're really funny.
Alright.
Hey, Rachel? Yeah.
Pull my finger? (LAUGHS) And look who we have here.
Hi.
I'm Julie.
It's been way too long.
I'm Grace.
And, yes, it has.
This is my youngest son, Alex.
JULIE: Hi, Alex.
I heard you just got back from New Zealand.
Yeah.
I know some jokes about New Zealand.
Dad Oh, and of course you've met these two.
Yeah, once or twice.
Alright, well, er Well, the most important thing - who wants what? I'll have whatever's going.
Beer for us, mate.
JULIE: Wine.
I've heard so much about Ruby.
Oh! Would you like to take a peek? I'd love to.
Nap time's almost over, so Good.
You've got such a beautiful home here.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
Ooh.
How do you think it's all going in there? Oh, I don't know.
Feels like trouble's brewing.
(CH UCKLES) What about Alex? Oh, he's pretty quiet.
Yeah.
Maybe he's still just a bit tired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you want to take these? Yep.
Hey, um, I just had a great idea.
Yeah? What? Well, look around.
This is perfect.
Perfect for what? We should move in here.
Live in the shed.
It'd be bigger than the city place we found.
(RUBY owes) I knew it was too good to be true.
GRACE: I seem to have lost the knack.
She's just a bit grumpy at the moment.
Dad, could you'? Allow me.
TED: Come on, sweetheart.
GRACE: Oh, she's gorgeous.
Yeah, we think so.
Hey, would you like some hummus'? Jake mentioned you don't like seafood.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Since when? Since always.
That was me.
Ah.
How's Doug? You know he was invited.
Jake told you about that too.
Not much.
Just, you know DAVE: Who's for another? Me, please.
Alright.
I'm gonna sit this one out, though.
What? You? Well, I'vejust decided to start looking after myself.
You know'? My mother needs a kidney transplant and I'm gonna be tested Oh, Alex! Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Alex.
Nothing to worry about, Alex.
Er, so, you're going to donate? If they let me, yeah.
That's a wonderful thing to do.
Is there a queue? Once you've handed over your kidney, maybe you could give me a CP transplant.
Mate What? Aren't I good enough for a transplant? No, but whatever your point is, this isn't the place to make it.
Look, Jake, you don't make the rules.
Just because I'm retarded Oh, Alex, don't say that.
It doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to speak.
But you're not allowed to make everyone feel embarrassed.
Why not'? That's all I'm good for, isn't it? Um Sorry.
JULIE: No, no, no.
I'm so sorry! It's fine, it's fine.
I got it, I got it.
It's fine.
Oi! Oi! Today is not about you.
Ha! Doing that in front of Rachel's parents, mate, that's not good.
It's not good.
You made her parents feel bad.
You made Mum feel bad.
And what for'? Oh, shove it.
You don't know anything.
Oh, no, I've only just been living with you for how long'? Yeah, well, now you're moving out.
So you can keep your opinions.
Oh, but what? So that gives you the right to say anything you like'? OK, guys.
That's enough.
Time out.
Rachel, keep out of it.
You're not family.
I'm gonna kill him.
No.
No.
Shh.
You go back inside, OK'? You're too fired up.
Go.
What are you doing? I'm ringing a taxi.
I thought we were OK, Al.
I've got enough friends.
I don't need any more.
That might be the case for you but I need all the friends I can get.
Sorry.
I met a girl in Queenstown and I liked her a lot.
Yeah? And I asked her out.
And you know what? She said yes! And she said yes a second and a third time.
And finally, I had a girlfriend.
And what happened? She said that I was great but it would be better if we were just friends.
Can you guess why'? You know what? A lot of guys have used that line on me before.
It might have nothing to do with your C Rachel, it has everything to do with it! I can'tprove it, though, because everybody pretends that they don't even see it.
Then I come home and my mum's met someone! And you and Jake And I just see what I will never have.
Is there anything I can say to make you feel better? Probably not.
Can you not say anything to Jake about this? No.
I'll tell him later, when I'm ready.
Hey.
Come here.
RACHEL: Alex had come home.
Problem was, it felt like the locks had been changed.
Fantastic.
Look at that big pile! Oh, no, that's the 'don't know' pile.
Oh.
No, it's fine.
We're doing well.
We're doing alright.
UmOK.
Chel, what's this? That's the receipt for my share of the land title.
Land title? In Vanuatu.
You own land in Vanuatu? There were a few of us.
We thought it'd be a good idea to run a resort.
We were drunk at the time.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
The guy that sold it to us must have seen us coming.
It didn't happen.
Is it tax-deductible'? No, Chel, it's not tax-deductible.
Not unless there's a category for bad decisions made while drunk.
(CH UCKLES) Be a big category.
For both of us.
(CH UCKLES) I don't know what's going on with him but he wouldn't have meant it like it sounded.
A bit of verbal biffo.
Nothing wrong with that.
Cheers.
What I said to you earlier I'm sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, mate.
You can say what you like around here.
I'm used to it.
TED: You heard him.
Here.
There's a beer here with your name on it.
Cheers! Cheers.
Sometimes our kids have gotta learn that they're not the centre of the universe.
Aren't they? (CH UCKLES) That's news to me.
I think Jake moving out and (SIGHS) Yeah, well, it's a big disruption for Alex.
But he'll cope.
Please don't worry.
I'm sure it'll work out.
Won't it'? Absolutely.
Yeah, you've got to trust her.
She's generally right about these sort of things.
Hey.
Hi.
You've got a way with words.
Poetry.
You think? Oh, yeah.
I'm so hot for you, I'm burning up.
(MOANS) Bite me.
Possess me like no-one ever has.
You're not a virgin, are you? Hey, I'm Greek.
No such thing.
Mmm.
(GIGGLES) I'm so hot, I'm burning up.
Mmm.
So you keep saying.
You really like to talk, don't you? Well, it's your words.
They get me going.
My words? Yeah.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Don't worry.
It's just my husband.
Husband? You never said you had a husband.
We've only just met.
We've hardly had a conversation.
We've shared our deepest desires.
You said you'd be my mortal and I'd be your vampire.
(HISSES) Ew! What? Not you? Absolutely not me! Huh.
Is that is that your husband? Who else? What do you think I am?! Um You know, look, I'm sorry.
Thisthat there was all good.
It was, er And Look, welcome to the neighbourhood.
But I, er I've gotta go.
Are you kidding? CHEL: No.
Oh, Chel, I can't believe how much you've travelled! I love it.
I have to put it on hold for the moment, though.
Oh, no.
You'll go again.
Maybe.
Maybe I shouldn't be allowed.
I've done such silly things.
You're still standing.
Sort of.
I hitched a ride on the back of a motorbike in Thailand and came a cropper and I had to have a blood transfusion.
Wow.
When did that happen? About 2O years ago.
Can I ask a question? Is that how I got HIV? Yes.
I think so.
I mean, there's no knowing for sure but I think so.
All from that one choice.
Until we crashed, the bike ride was fun.
You can't waste time regretting things.
You're amazing.
I wish I could feel that way about my bad choices.
You can put a positive spin on anything.
Really? Even what happened to you? Yes.
I appreciate my life like I never had before.
If you're not sure how much time you've got left, you're not gonna waste it hating yourself.
RACHEL: I'm glad things are better on the home front.
OK.
Goodnight.
Everything alright there? Yeah, it seems to be.
I'm gonna pack it in.
OK.
Goodnight, Dad.
And, hey, thank you again so much for today.
I really appreciated it.
Here's the tax man.
How'd you go? Good, yeah.
ls Mum around? Nah, she's gone to bed.
She didn't get much sleep last night, thanks to Ruby.
And neither did I.
So, um Turn out the lights.
Will do.
Hey.
What's that'? It's a plant that Chel potted.
For your new place.
Is it'? Yeah.
Oh! That's so nice of her.
Mmm.
Did you get one? Nah.
I haven't finished her tax yet.
Oh, how useless are you? Very.
You know I was only joking, Nathan.
I'm your big sister.
It's my job.
You're right, though.
I've spent my whole life being this completely useless and selfish person and I don't like it and I don't want to be that way anymore.
Whoa.
Nathan.
No.
I mean it.
Rachel, I mean it.
If I could be someone different, I would be.
But I don't know how.
Right.
Hey- Hey- So I've gotta tell you something about yesterday.
Oh, don't worry.
Don't worry, mate.
Forget about it.
I can't.
I've gotta tell you why.
OK.
Went out with a girl in New Zealand and she dumped me.
Well, you should stuff her.
There's plenty more out there.
No.
There isn't - not for me.
Oh, come on, mate.
Trust me, they're there.
OK, see, you show me one girl who chose me over you.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me but I need you to admit the truth.
AI (CLEARS TH ROAT) sometimes honesty's a big ask.
I live with it.
Every day.
I still hope that someone will want me but I don't think that they will.
Well, I hope you're wrong.
I want to feel good about you and Rachel, but when I see you together, all I see is what I haven't got.
(SIGHS) SONG: Army Like taking on an army Ooh, yeah Like taking on an army Like taking on an army Ooh, yeah No point playing the victim You got your work cut out for you (BARKS) No point worrying about the little things 'Cause the little things won't help you GT-'laY- GT-'laY- You get stuck right in You can hold your own No-one's gonna help you when you're all alone You can feel it coming on Like taking on an army Like taking on an army.
What's up with you? I just saw him.
He's got a Rottweiler.
I think he's tracking me.
What are you so scared of? The way you described it, she's not coming here anytime soon.
Yeah, but he might, and trust me - that bloke, you don't want popping around.
He's got guns.
Hey, uh, what's this? Oh.
We bought it together.
It's kind of tasteful, yeah? Yeah.
We both wanted somethingplain.
Yeah, but where's my rooster'? Don't worry, it's safe.
It's in the cupboard in the garage.
What's it doing in there? Well, that's where we put it.
It belongs there.
Look, it's always lived there.
That's its home.
It's got a new one.
No way.
I want it back where it belongs.
It's been there since I was a kid.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) Ooh.
Might be another message from your admirer.
I don't want to look at it.
Look, it's her fault that I've got a psycho killer after me.
Look, whoever you are, leave me alone.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) And I want my rooster back.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) Well, it's a good thing you're cute, because, quite frankly, after getting us up four times last night, your personality leaves a lot to be desired.
Oh, how can you say that'? Look at that face.
Doesn't cut any ice with me.
(DOOR CLOSES) (WHISPERS) Knock, knock, knock.
Hello.
Hey.
If either of you act like this is out of character, I'll take it back.
I'd prefer you didn't.
No.
What have we done to deserve breakfast in bed? I just wanted you to both have a lovely coffee before I told you that I've made a decision.
I've decided that I'm gonna test for kidney compatibility.
Well, why don't we just find out what happens with me? Yeah.
No, no, no.
It's something I feel strongly about.
I just want you guys to know that I'm offering and that I mean it.
Yeah, but you don't need to, darling.
No, but I want to.
I'm not doubting your sincerity.
But you don't need to do this.
I do.
No, you don't.
And we don't think you should.
Why? Well, because we don't and it's unnecessary.
I'm really sorry you feel that way.
RACHEL: (CHUCKLES) No, some of these are really fantastic, Al.
Thanks, yeah.
Maybe later I'll show you the ones with people in them.
When I'm feeling braver.
Yeah.
But now (GRUNTS) .
.
I'm gonna go and mess up my room.
Yeah, Mum tidied it.
I couldn't stop her.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
Won't take long to mess it up and then it will feel like home again.
Speaking of home Yeah.
Lthink we should wait.
You don't wanna get a place with me? No, of course I do.
But Don't give me that look.
You know I love you.
Yeah.
Yeah! Butthere's Alex.
He needs his big brother right now a lot more than I need a live-in boyfriend.
I think we owe him some time to sort things out.
(SIGHS) Say something? I don't want to wait to live with you.
I know, but it's not forever.
And What? We're in this for the long haul, aren't we'? Got the rest of our lives, right? Right.
You're awesome.
You're awesome.
You know that'? The kind of girl that could care that much about my brother she's worth waiting for.
I was looking forward to trashing your place, get you back for those teenage years.
Look, under the circumstances, I think you've made the best possible decision.
That goes for me too.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
You sure you're OK'? If I'm honest, no.
(WHISPERS) I was really looking forward to it, Mum, getting a place of our own.
If we ever agreed on one.
(CHUCKLES) You know, making a home.
It'll happen.
Hopefully.
Now I'll have to put up with Dad's bad jokes for a little while longer.
Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I would like you guys to know, however, that seeing as I am staying, I'd like to make a few changes just in recognition of the fact that I've actually become an adult.
Oh, what sort of changes? I haven't decided yet, but I'm gonna think about it while I plant this.
OK.
There is a downside to Rachel not moving out.
What's that'? No pool room.
Aw.
(CHUCKLES) Hello.
Hello.
Thanks for coming.
Hey.
You're brave, coming here.
Oh, come on, the food's not that bad.
No, I mean No, I know.
And it's OK.
You seem so much better than last time we saw you.
I am, and that's actually the reason I called.
Lookl think I'm ready to make contact with Nathan.
Oh, I'm so glad you said that.
It's killing me not telling him.
Feeling stronger andyeah, I think I'm ready.
I'm glad.
So, how do you think I should go about it? Do you think I should just call him? Actually, just let me tell him.
Really? Yeah.
It'll be a shock.
I live with him.
I'll pick the right moment.
I've got some explaining to do.
I'd prefer it if it came from me.
You're sure? Yeah.
OK.
(CHUCKLES) Well, cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Bloody Carbo.
Poor thing.
Nathan.
We're telling him.
Yep.
No more excuses.
No.
How are we gonna do it? Not we, you.
(DOOR CLOSES) (PANTS) You really pounded the pavement.
Just trying to shake this bad mood.
What's wrong'? Just some stuff with Mum and Dad.
They can just be so negative.
Right.
Sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you.
You guys are always there for me.
(PANTS) CARBO: Hey, did you see anyone outside? Big bloke, looks like Ivan Milat's cousin.
No.
Good.
Hey.
Look, after much consideration I've decided I think it's OK for you guys to have that vase thing there.
Are you sure? Yes.
You're not gonna have a big whinge about it later, are you? No.
It's OK for you guys to have one thing in here.
Maybe even two? Or three? Er Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, it's only fair.
This is your home too.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's alright, but excuse me.
Don'ttouchmy roosteragain.
OK? Who you hiding from? You're going to work.
Well, work's not the problem.
It's getting there.
Wish me luck.
Go tell Nathan.
I can't tell him now.
You heard him, he's too angry.
Wimp.
Wuss.
Sook.
Coward.
Hey, kid, you wanna move out the way? I'm backing the car out.
Walla-walla-wincha? Yeah, yeah, walla-walla-wincha.
Which is great, but we're over that now, OK'? Do you wanna be my vampire? What? 'Cause I wanna be your mortal.
You? You? How old are you? I'm 16.
OK, I'm not, but I'm old for my age.
No, look, I am so sorry.
You really should go home now.
But you said all those things.
No! No, no, no.
Look, I didn't know you were who you are.
I mean it - go home.
Right now.
But I love you.
Oh And I know you feel the same way.
No.
Trust me, I do not.
Go home, where you should be right now, playing with your dolls or something.
Oh, this isn't happening.
I thought you were going to work.
Er, what? Can't.
What? She's underage.
She's so underage.
I'm gonna get arrested.
What was all that about? I think Carbo's finally cracked it.
Great, so I've got parents who don't take me seriously and a nut-case housemate.
That's the last thing I need.
(SMASH!) No, that is the last thing I need.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
Really? Really.
I'll grab the dustpan.
No, no, no.
I've got it.
Thank you, Ben.
I owe you.
I'm really sorry.
What? You'd rather take the rap for the broken rooster than tell Nathan.
Lookthe rooster has spoken.
I'll tell him, just not right now.
It's clearly not a good time.
Wimp.
Wuss.
Sook.
Coward.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) JAKE: Hey.
(CHUCKLES) Hey.
OK.
(swans) Oh! (CHUCKLES) What do you think? Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, I think you've got wallpaper paste in your hair and paint on your nose.
Hey! (CHUCKLES) Come on.
I really want your opinion.
Looks good, right? Mmm There is one thing.
Ohhh! Now that looks better.
Mmm.
(CHUCKLES) So do you.
Hmm'? Mmm.
RACHEL: (NARRATES) And in that moment with Jake, I was home.
We were home.
But a few years on, you start to appreciate what you're actually leaving behind.
Oh, this is great.
I haven't seen this for years.
What's all this? Oh, just some stuff I fetched from the storage unit.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Look.
Nan's lamp.
From her pineapple period.
Are you sure I can have this, Grandad? Better than sitting out there going mouldy.
Well, it's great.
It's perfect.
It's gonna be perfect for our new apartment.
How do you know'? You haven't found it yet.
It's mere detail.
I know what it'll be like.
An inner-city warehouse, cute but cutting-edge, double doors opening onto a small balcony.
Shed for my tools.
Garage for the ute.
We probably can't afford a garage, but Jake'll just have to cope.
Spare bedroom for Alex.
A studio, all open-plan.
Near a park.
Somewhere quiet.
Buzzy, near cafes.
Close to work.
Close to work would be good too.
(GAS PS) (SIGHS) Wow, look at that! Yep, that's technology for you.
That's memories.
Beautiful ones.
Aww.
Well, Mum probably wouldn't think so.
Used to drive her mad, clicking that thing on and off.
It's funny the things that come back to you.
Hadn't thought about that for years.
No, me neither.
Do you remember the fuss you made about those curtains? They had to be pink.
My ballerina phase.
And remember you sewed coins into the corners to weigh it down.
Yeah.
20-cent coins.
You probably dug them out.
They're only 2 cents anyway.
Oh! Well, they might be worth something.
You could sell them on eBay.
No.
(SNIFFS) No, this is my past.
You have to promise me something, Mum, OK'? No matter how long I'm gone for, this will always be Rachel's room.
Oh, darling.
Well, with that giant 'R' on the wall, it could always be Ruby's room.
Mum! Or Dave's pool room.
I thought we agreed.
That's really hilarious.
You're funny.
OK, OK, I'll compromise.
Dave's pool room and the occasional guest room.
Rachel's room.
Take it.
Take all of them.
They're yours, not mine.
Mum, we haven't even found a place yet.
Alright? And, when I visit, I like the idea of them being here.
There is one thing I would like.
What? Fridge photos.
Like these ones.
Well, take it.
I've got copies.
Oi.
Things must be hotting up if he's on the fridge.
Oh, no, look, it's just a work photo.
Oh, yeah? Stuck itself up there, did it? What does Alex think about his new stepdaddy? Oh, stop it! (LAUGHS) I haven't told him, 'cause there's nothing to tell.
Well, he's on the fridge.
That's a pretty important nothing.
Look, it's nothing serious.
It might all blow over.
(LAUGHS) (DOOR OPENS) Hi, Gracie, bub.
Hey.
Hello.
Hi, Jake.
Doug.
Alright, I gotta go.
I'm having dinner at Rachel's.
I might catch you later.
See you, mate.
I'll put this in the fridge, yeah? Yeah.
Uh, just give me a second.
Yeah? Jake? About the key.
No.
No, no, no.
It's better than him breaking a window.
Look, it doesn't change anything.
It's not Doug's home, it's yours.
And I just couldn't bear it if you thought you were being driven away.
Mum, I'm moving out 'cause it's time.
And it's about time you found a good guy like Doug.
So go on, go for it.
You really don't mind? Of course not.
He's crazy about you, âGracie, bub (LAUGHS) Now, don't forget, drinks at the Rafters' tomorrow.
It's about time you guys finally met.
Bye.
RACHEL: So, do you think Doug will move in'? Nah.
Oh, maybe.
It's a big move.
Mum wouldn't do it lightly.
No, neither would I.
No, I know.
I did once before with Daniel, but I didn't do that lightly.
And I didn't go into it with my eyes open either.
So, what's the difference now'? Well, that time it was all about him and his space.
This is about us building something together.
A home.
Yeah.
So, every important decision, we both make it.
Even the unimportant ones.
Including that lamp.
You have to be kidding me.
That belonged to my Nan! Oh, Rach, we could have been so good together.
Nuh.
You love me, you love Nan's lamp.
Don't you start.
Wouldn't dare.
Uh, before Chel gets here, there's something we need to tell you all, so could you, uh'? I thought Chel was totally against that.
Yeah.
No kidney talk ever.
JULIE: Yeah, well, your dad put up some very strong arguments.
I don't want to make it a big deal.
Just wanted to keep you up to speed.
It's a great idea.
I think you should go for it.
Yeah, me too.
We all do.
So, what's for dinner? Steak and kidney pie? Hey! I'm warning you, no jokes in front of Chel.
As if.
Don't know any.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) And don't try to make any up.
Kidney.
Doesn't even rhyme with anything.
It's not gonna happen immediately.
My GP first, then a barrage of tests.
You know, it could take months.
Sydney! RACHEL: Oh, ignore him.
Ignore him, he's special.
Sorry, Dad.
Anyway, there's no guarantees.
We don't want to make it a big deal.
It's just something we're doing.
Together.
Oh, it's so much more than that.
It's such a gift.
I'm overwhelmed.
I feel all warm and gooey.
JULIE: Ooh, OK.
Well, I might put this one down.
I'll do it.
Oh, thanks.
So, Mama, are you all set and prepared for tomorrow'? Prepared? Yeah, for Grace coming over? Oh, yeah.
Well, it's just drinks, isn't it? Oh What, I don't have to lay on a banquet, do I'? No, no.
But, I mean, a bit of effort would be nice.
Right.
Well, dips and crackers? That sounds great.
OK.
There's a yummy taramasalata from the deli up the road.
Uhfish.
Mum doesn't eat seafood.
Oh, OK.
Well, something else, then.
Pété.
Oh.
Um, that's the other thing Mum doesn't eat as well.
Cheese and pineapple? Sounds great.
OK, great.
No.
No, Mum, no.
Rach, it's fine.
It's no biggie.
(LAUGHS) Does anybody know an accountant? Got to get my tax sorted.
Oh, don't you hate 'em'? Yeah.
Do you need a hand with it? Ha! Like you know anything about tax, Rachel.
No, you're right, Nathan.
I don't.
Nathan knows a lot about tax, though.
He'd be happy to help you out with that.
He's a whiz! Really? You wouldn't mind? Yep.
You wouldn't mind? âBite me.
Possess me like no-one ever has.
" Excuse me? No, not you.
My secret admirer.
You should see the things she writes to me.
It's like poetry.
âYour sharp teeth in my soft flesh.
" Who is she? Sookie Stackhouse? She hasn't told me her name yet.
Listen to this.
âI'm so hot for you.
I'm burning up.
" Oh, she must have the flu.
That's it.
I'm officially separated.
Are you OK'? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
It needed to be done.
Next stop, the finances.
Speaking of which, I should probably get an early night.
I've got hours of tax fun with Chel tomorrow.
Ooh.
Ouch.
I reckon Dad got the easy option.
Tell me about it.
Night, guys.
See ya.
Goodnight.
Poor Nathan.
I know.
How are we ever gonna relax around here with all that Sammy stuff hanging over our heads'? Mmm.
And how I can ever relax with that rooster looking at me? Hang on.
There we go.
Can't you just accidentally knock it off or something? I could move it closer to the edge and with a bit of luck, Carbo might knock it off.
He wouldn't mind.
He doesn't like it either.
But if no-one likes it, what's it doing there? Well, point one - it's not our house.
Yeah, but it is our home, isn't it? Of course.
Well, just as much as Carbo's.
Yeah.
So, check it out.
Why are we surrounded by his mum's ceramic zoo'? Hey, that money that your parents gave us for our wedding Yeah? that we're putting aside for a rainy day? Hey? Hey? It's pouring.
If we bought something together and put it in here, then we'd know it was ours.
Yep.
Make it feel more like home.
Mm-hm.
Yep.
Yep.
OK.
Good.
(CH UCKLES) RACH EL: They say home is where the heart is.
Or in my case, the lamp.
Wanted - a home for two people very much in love without a care in the world.
At least, that's what I thought.
These are all apartments.
No, relax, I didn't forget you.
What about that'? Surry Hills.
Rach, come on.
That for me? Oh, making her a cup of tea's a big mistake, mate.
Yeah, you're right.
She might come to expect it.
Well, that's alright by me.
MAN: Hey! Mum! Jake! Kill the fatted calf.
I'm home.
You didn't tell me Alex was coming home.
We didn't know.
Where is everyone'? Hey! Alex! Hey! I would've picked you up.
Ah, yeah, we missed you.
(LAUGHS) How you going, kid? Look at you.
Ah! RACHEL: Hey, I missed you.
Did you bring me a pressie? Oh, yesme.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) So, how was the flight? Oh, coffee first.
I can't talk without coffee.
Hi.
Who are you? Doug.
Friend of your mum's.
Did he sleep here? Alex, um Since when? Just a little while.
Not long.
Why didn't you tell me? I was going to.
You weren't here.
What's this? They're mine.
They're mine and Rachel's.
Yeah, we're gonna get a place together, Al.
There's a lot of stuff going on here, isn't there? Alex, you weren't here.
There are phones in New Zealand.
There's no need You can shut up! JAKE: Oi! Mind your own business.
I don't even know who you are.
Mate, you need to calm down.
What is this? Some kind of conspiracy? Home is where the heart is.
And for Alex and Jake, that was suddenly an issue.
Hey.
I was just texting you.
What did you say? Maybe we should leave the househunting for another day? Yeah.
How is it all in there? Uh, it's not great.
Mmm.
Can I ask you a big favour'? What? He won't listen to me or Mum.
And he trusts you.
He'll think I'm interfering, though.
Please, Rach.
You're practically family and right now, I can't think of anything else.
OK.
But don't expect any miracles.
Sent in the cavalry, have they? You calling me a horse? So, big changes, huh? So'? No-one cares what I think.
Of course they do.
Look, I'm sorry.
Jake really should have said something about him and I moving out together, it's Yeah.
Justwhen people are away, you don't Yeah.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's more we didn't want to interrupt your holiday.
Sure.
OK, and we got a bit carried away with all the things we were planning and that made us a bit selfish.
And as for your mum Who is that guy'? No, he's really nice.
Honestly.
I think you'll like him.
Yeah, we'll be besties.
(LAUGHS) Totally.
Totally besties.
You know, on the plane, I was thinking about how great it was to be coming home.
Yeah, well, home's still here.
It's just changing shape a little bit.
So, did you have a good time? Oh, yeah.
Get any Maori tatts? Not where I can show you.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Well, I hope I at least get to see some pictures.
Of the tatts'? No! No, I'll pass on that, thanks.
But some G-rated shots would be nice.
You could bring them along this afternoon.
Where? Your mum's coming over.
It's a bit of a parental meet-and-greet thing.
Mmm.
You will come, won't you? I don't know.
I might.
I might not.
I don't know if it's a good idea, leaving Mum and Alex together.
Oh, yeah.
They might actually have a conversation.
Bad move.
Well, at least Doug was tactful enough to leave, so that's a start.
Yeah.
I mean, think about it.
Alex gets home.
He's tired, he's thinking âYay!" And what does he get? He gets a middle-aged man in a dressing-gown who's acting like the furniture.
Of course he was gonna overreact.
He'll be fine? Yeah, he'll be fine.
Well, we'll think of you while we're out spending our wedding money.
Ooh, what are you gonna buy? Don't know yet.
Thought we might make the place a bit more us.
We've lived here long enough.
Right.
Have you run it past Carbo? I think we'll be safe.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Are you, er, who I think you are? I could be, if that's a good thing.
Yeah.
Could be.
You look hot.
Burning up, you could say.
I just moved in down the road.
Hmm.
Far down the road? Not very.
Quite close.
Number 40.
That is close.
Compared tonumber 42.
Well, maybe you should pop around sometime.
Maybe I willpop around.
SONG: Ain't no good But you ain't no good.
That's a new car.
It's nice.
Oh, it's not exactly new but it'll get me around.
I won't hug you.
No, it's probably best if you don't.
Wow! Chel, this garden looks so much better since you've been here.
Oh, well, house-sitting.
Just returning the favour.
Er, are you sure it's not too much of an imposition? No, it's a piece of cake.
Besides, it gives me a chance to show off.
Well, it's just a few bits of paper.
Five years? Well, every year it just gets harder and harder to face.
Thought I mentioned it.
Well, you probably did.
I probably just blanked it out.
I guess we'd better start somewhere.
Um.
.
OK.
Do you remember what this is from? Er, that's my membership receipt for the Communist Party.
You're a Communist? Not really.
Just seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's political party membership.
That's deductible.
That's good! We're off to a good start.
What about that one? We're gonna have to go up in price.
Everything we looked at was disgusting.
No, one place we looked at on the way back was OK.
It had a big yard.
It's practically in the South Pole.
JULIE: You've only been looking a month.
That place in the city was good.
It only had one room.
No.
It had two.
It had two rooms.
If you count the toilet.
Oh, Mum, that's not tarama'? No, it's hummus.
It's perfectly harmless.
Thank you.
You're the best.
I love you.
I hope you're all gonna get along.
Aw.
If we don't, the relationship's over.
Dad, just don't start, yeah? You've kept us at arm's length for long enough.
Are you ashamed of us'? Of course not.
Meeting the in-laws for the first time, it's a pretty big deal.
Dad, I said don't start! OK, now, you're all gonna have to be extra nice to Alex, please.
Rach, it's OK.
You got his text.
Alex is cool.
I'm sure he'll be fine.
Jake, could you get some parsley? It's in the pot at the back door.
Yep.
Thanks.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) I'll get it.
Alright.
That's them.
Dad, please, no jokes.
Even if you think they're really funny.
Alright.
Hey, Rachel? Yeah.
Pull my finger? (LAUGHS) And look who we have here.
Hi.
I'm Julie.
It's been way too long.
I'm Grace.
And, yes, it has.
This is my youngest son, Alex.
JULIE: Hi, Alex.
I heard you just got back from New Zealand.
Yeah.
I know some jokes about New Zealand.
Dad Oh, and of course you've met these two.
Yeah, once or twice.
Alright, well, er Well, the most important thing - who wants what? I'll have whatever's going.
Beer for us, mate.
JULIE: Wine.
I've heard so much about Ruby.
Oh! Would you like to take a peek? I'd love to.
Nap time's almost over, so Good.
You've got such a beautiful home here.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
Ooh.
How do you think it's all going in there? Oh, I don't know.
Feels like trouble's brewing.
(CH UCKLES) What about Alex? Oh, he's pretty quiet.
Yeah.
Maybe he's still just a bit tired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you want to take these? Yep.
Hey, um, I just had a great idea.
Yeah? What? Well, look around.
This is perfect.
Perfect for what? We should move in here.
Live in the shed.
It'd be bigger than the city place we found.
(RUBY owes) I knew it was too good to be true.
GRACE: I seem to have lost the knack.
She's just a bit grumpy at the moment.
Dad, could you'? Allow me.
TED: Come on, sweetheart.
GRACE: Oh, she's gorgeous.
Yeah, we think so.
Hey, would you like some hummus'? Jake mentioned you don't like seafood.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Since when? Since always.
That was me.
Ah.
How's Doug? You know he was invited.
Jake told you about that too.
Not much.
Just, you know DAVE: Who's for another? Me, please.
Alright.
I'm gonna sit this one out, though.
What? You? Well, I'vejust decided to start looking after myself.
You know'? My mother needs a kidney transplant and I'm gonna be tested Oh, Alex! Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Alex.
Nothing to worry about, Alex.
Er, so, you're going to donate? If they let me, yeah.
That's a wonderful thing to do.
Is there a queue? Once you've handed over your kidney, maybe you could give me a CP transplant.
Mate What? Aren't I good enough for a transplant? No, but whatever your point is, this isn't the place to make it.
Look, Jake, you don't make the rules.
Just because I'm retarded Oh, Alex, don't say that.
It doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to speak.
But you're not allowed to make everyone feel embarrassed.
Why not'? That's all I'm good for, isn't it? Um Sorry.
JULIE: No, no, no.
I'm so sorry! It's fine, it's fine.
I got it, I got it.
It's fine.
Oi! Oi! Today is not about you.
Ha! Doing that in front of Rachel's parents, mate, that's not good.
It's not good.
You made her parents feel bad.
You made Mum feel bad.
And what for'? Oh, shove it.
You don't know anything.
Oh, no, I've only just been living with you for how long'? Yeah, well, now you're moving out.
So you can keep your opinions.
Oh, but what? So that gives you the right to say anything you like'? OK, guys.
That's enough.
Time out.
Rachel, keep out of it.
You're not family.
I'm gonna kill him.
No.
No.
Shh.
You go back inside, OK'? You're too fired up.
Go.
What are you doing? I'm ringing a taxi.
I thought we were OK, Al.
I've got enough friends.
I don't need any more.
That might be the case for you but I need all the friends I can get.
Sorry.
I met a girl in Queenstown and I liked her a lot.
Yeah? And I asked her out.
And you know what? She said yes! And she said yes a second and a third time.
And finally, I had a girlfriend.
And what happened? She said that I was great but it would be better if we were just friends.
Can you guess why'? You know what? A lot of guys have used that line on me before.
It might have nothing to do with your C Rachel, it has everything to do with it! I can'tprove it, though, because everybody pretends that they don't even see it.
Then I come home and my mum's met someone! And you and Jake And I just see what I will never have.
Is there anything I can say to make you feel better? Probably not.
Can you not say anything to Jake about this? No.
I'll tell him later, when I'm ready.
Hey.
Come here.
RACHEL: Alex had come home.
Problem was, it felt like the locks had been changed.
Fantastic.
Look at that big pile! Oh, no, that's the 'don't know' pile.
Oh.
No, it's fine.
We're doing well.
We're doing alright.
UmOK.
Chel, what's this? That's the receipt for my share of the land title.
Land title? In Vanuatu.
You own land in Vanuatu? There were a few of us.
We thought it'd be a good idea to run a resort.
We were drunk at the time.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
The guy that sold it to us must have seen us coming.
It didn't happen.
Is it tax-deductible'? No, Chel, it's not tax-deductible.
Not unless there's a category for bad decisions made while drunk.
(CH UCKLES) Be a big category.
For both of us.
(CH UCKLES) I don't know what's going on with him but he wouldn't have meant it like it sounded.
A bit of verbal biffo.
Nothing wrong with that.
Cheers.
What I said to you earlier I'm sorry.
Oh, don't worry about it, mate.
You can say what you like around here.
I'm used to it.
TED: You heard him.
Here.
There's a beer here with your name on it.
Cheers! Cheers.
Sometimes our kids have gotta learn that they're not the centre of the universe.
Aren't they? (CH UCKLES) That's news to me.
I think Jake moving out and (SIGHS) Yeah, well, it's a big disruption for Alex.
But he'll cope.
Please don't worry.
I'm sure it'll work out.
Won't it'? Absolutely.
Yeah, you've got to trust her.
She's generally right about these sort of things.
Hey.
Hi.
You've got a way with words.
Poetry.
You think? Oh, yeah.
I'm so hot for you, I'm burning up.
(MOANS) Bite me.
Possess me like no-one ever has.
You're not a virgin, are you? Hey, I'm Greek.
No such thing.
Mmm.
(GIGGLES) I'm so hot, I'm burning up.
Mmm.
So you keep saying.
You really like to talk, don't you? Well, it's your words.
They get me going.
My words? Yeah.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Don't worry.
It's just my husband.
Husband? You never said you had a husband.
We've only just met.
We've hardly had a conversation.
We've shared our deepest desires.
You said you'd be my mortal and I'd be your vampire.
(HISSES) Ew! What? Not you? Absolutely not me! Huh.
Is that is that your husband? Who else? What do you think I am?! Um You know, look, I'm sorry.
Thisthat there was all good.
It was, er And Look, welcome to the neighbourhood.
But I, er I've gotta go.
Are you kidding? CHEL: No.
Oh, Chel, I can't believe how much you've travelled! I love it.
I have to put it on hold for the moment, though.
Oh, no.
You'll go again.
Maybe.
Maybe I shouldn't be allowed.
I've done such silly things.
You're still standing.
Sort of.
I hitched a ride on the back of a motorbike in Thailand and came a cropper and I had to have a blood transfusion.
Wow.
When did that happen? About 2O years ago.
Can I ask a question? Is that how I got HIV? Yes.
I think so.
I mean, there's no knowing for sure but I think so.
All from that one choice.
Until we crashed, the bike ride was fun.
You can't waste time regretting things.
You're amazing.
I wish I could feel that way about my bad choices.
You can put a positive spin on anything.
Really? Even what happened to you? Yes.
I appreciate my life like I never had before.
If you're not sure how much time you've got left, you're not gonna waste it hating yourself.
RACHEL: I'm glad things are better on the home front.
OK.
Goodnight.
Everything alright there? Yeah, it seems to be.
I'm gonna pack it in.
OK.
Goodnight, Dad.
And, hey, thank you again so much for today.
I really appreciated it.
Here's the tax man.
How'd you go? Good, yeah.
ls Mum around? Nah, she's gone to bed.
She didn't get much sleep last night, thanks to Ruby.
And neither did I.
So, um Turn out the lights.
Will do.
Hey.
What's that'? It's a plant that Chel potted.
For your new place.
Is it'? Yeah.
Oh! That's so nice of her.
Mmm.
Did you get one? Nah.
I haven't finished her tax yet.
Oh, how useless are you? Very.
You know I was only joking, Nathan.
I'm your big sister.
It's my job.
You're right, though.
I've spent my whole life being this completely useless and selfish person and I don't like it and I don't want to be that way anymore.
Whoa.
Nathan.
No.
I mean it.
Rachel, I mean it.
If I could be someone different, I would be.
But I don't know how.
Right.
Hey- Hey- So I've gotta tell you something about yesterday.
Oh, don't worry.
Don't worry, mate.
Forget about it.
I can't.
I've gotta tell you why.
OK.
Went out with a girl in New Zealand and she dumped me.
Well, you should stuff her.
There's plenty more out there.
No.
There isn't - not for me.
Oh, come on, mate.
Trust me, they're there.
OK, see, you show me one girl who chose me over you.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me but I need you to admit the truth.
AI (CLEARS TH ROAT) sometimes honesty's a big ask.
I live with it.
Every day.
I still hope that someone will want me but I don't think that they will.
Well, I hope you're wrong.
I want to feel good about you and Rachel, but when I see you together, all I see is what I haven't got.
(SIGHS) SONG: Army Like taking on an army Ooh, yeah Like taking on an army Like taking on an army Ooh, yeah No point playing the victim You got your work cut out for you (BARKS) No point worrying about the little things 'Cause the little things won't help you GT-'laY- GT-'laY- You get stuck right in You can hold your own No-one's gonna help you when you're all alone You can feel it coming on Like taking on an army Like taking on an army.
What's up with you? I just saw him.
He's got a Rottweiler.
I think he's tracking me.
What are you so scared of? The way you described it, she's not coming here anytime soon.
Yeah, but he might, and trust me - that bloke, you don't want popping around.
He's got guns.
Hey, uh, what's this? Oh.
We bought it together.
It's kind of tasteful, yeah? Yeah.
We both wanted somethingplain.
Yeah, but where's my rooster'? Don't worry, it's safe.
It's in the cupboard in the garage.
What's it doing in there? Well, that's where we put it.
It belongs there.
Look, it's always lived there.
That's its home.
It's got a new one.
No way.
I want it back where it belongs.
It's been there since I was a kid.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) Ooh.
Might be another message from your admirer.
I don't want to look at it.
Look, it's her fault that I've got a psycho killer after me.
Look, whoever you are, leave me alone.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) And I want my rooster back.
(COMPUTER BEEPS) Well, it's a good thing you're cute, because, quite frankly, after getting us up four times last night, your personality leaves a lot to be desired.
Oh, how can you say that'? Look at that face.
Doesn't cut any ice with me.
(DOOR CLOSES) (WHISPERS) Knock, knock, knock.
Hello.
Hey.
If either of you act like this is out of character, I'll take it back.
I'd prefer you didn't.
No.
What have we done to deserve breakfast in bed? I just wanted you to both have a lovely coffee before I told you that I've made a decision.
I've decided that I'm gonna test for kidney compatibility.
Well, why don't we just find out what happens with me? Yeah.
No, no, no.
It's something I feel strongly about.
I just want you guys to know that I'm offering and that I mean it.
Yeah, but you don't need to, darling.
No, but I want to.
I'm not doubting your sincerity.
But you don't need to do this.
I do.
No, you don't.
And we don't think you should.
Why? Well, because we don't and it's unnecessary.
I'm really sorry you feel that way.
RACHEL: (CHUCKLES) No, some of these are really fantastic, Al.
Thanks, yeah.
Maybe later I'll show you the ones with people in them.
When I'm feeling braver.
Yeah.
But now (GRUNTS) .
.
I'm gonna go and mess up my room.
Yeah, Mum tidied it.
I couldn't stop her.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
Won't take long to mess it up and then it will feel like home again.
Speaking of home Yeah.
Lthink we should wait.
You don't wanna get a place with me? No, of course I do.
But Don't give me that look.
You know I love you.
Yeah.
Yeah! Butthere's Alex.
He needs his big brother right now a lot more than I need a live-in boyfriend.
I think we owe him some time to sort things out.
(SIGHS) Say something? I don't want to wait to live with you.
I know, but it's not forever.
And What? We're in this for the long haul, aren't we'? Got the rest of our lives, right? Right.
You're awesome.
You're awesome.
You know that'? The kind of girl that could care that much about my brother she's worth waiting for.
I was looking forward to trashing your place, get you back for those teenage years.
Look, under the circumstances, I think you've made the best possible decision.
That goes for me too.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
You sure you're OK'? If I'm honest, no.
(WHISPERS) I was really looking forward to it, Mum, getting a place of our own.
If we ever agreed on one.
(CHUCKLES) You know, making a home.
It'll happen.
Hopefully.
Now I'll have to put up with Dad's bad jokes for a little while longer.
Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I would like you guys to know, however, that seeing as I am staying, I'd like to make a few changes just in recognition of the fact that I've actually become an adult.
Oh, what sort of changes? I haven't decided yet, but I'm gonna think about it while I plant this.
OK.
There is a downside to Rachel not moving out.
What's that'? No pool room.
Aw.
(CHUCKLES) Hello.
Hello.
Thanks for coming.
Hey.
You're brave, coming here.
Oh, come on, the food's not that bad.
No, I mean No, I know.
And it's OK.
You seem so much better than last time we saw you.
I am, and that's actually the reason I called.
Lookl think I'm ready to make contact with Nathan.
Oh, I'm so glad you said that.
It's killing me not telling him.
Feeling stronger andyeah, I think I'm ready.
I'm glad.
So, how do you think I should go about it? Do you think I should just call him? Actually, just let me tell him.
Really? Yeah.
It'll be a shock.
I live with him.
I'll pick the right moment.
I've got some explaining to do.
I'd prefer it if it came from me.
You're sure? Yeah.
OK.
(CHUCKLES) Well, cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Bloody Carbo.
Poor thing.
Nathan.
We're telling him.
Yep.
No more excuses.
No.
How are we gonna do it? Not we, you.
(DOOR CLOSES) (PANTS) You really pounded the pavement.
Just trying to shake this bad mood.
What's wrong'? Just some stuff with Mum and Dad.
They can just be so negative.
Right.
Sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you.
You guys are always there for me.
(PANTS) CARBO: Hey, did you see anyone outside? Big bloke, looks like Ivan Milat's cousin.
No.
Good.
Hey.
Look, after much consideration I've decided I think it's OK for you guys to have that vase thing there.
Are you sure? Yes.
You're not gonna have a big whinge about it later, are you? No.
It's OK for you guys to have one thing in here.
Maybe even two? Or three? Er Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, it's only fair.
This is your home too.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's alright, but excuse me.
Don'ttouchmy roosteragain.
OK? Who you hiding from? You're going to work.
Well, work's not the problem.
It's getting there.
Wish me luck.
Go tell Nathan.
I can't tell him now.
You heard him, he's too angry.
Wimp.
Wuss.
Sook.
Coward.
Hey, kid, you wanna move out the way? I'm backing the car out.
Walla-walla-wincha? Yeah, yeah, walla-walla-wincha.
Which is great, but we're over that now, OK'? Do you wanna be my vampire? What? 'Cause I wanna be your mortal.
You? You? How old are you? I'm 16.
OK, I'm not, but I'm old for my age.
No, look, I am so sorry.
You really should go home now.
But you said all those things.
No! No, no, no.
Look, I didn't know you were who you are.
I mean it - go home.
Right now.
But I love you.
Oh And I know you feel the same way.
No.
Trust me, I do not.
Go home, where you should be right now, playing with your dolls or something.
Oh, this isn't happening.
I thought you were going to work.
Er, what? Can't.
What? She's underage.
She's so underage.
I'm gonna get arrested.
What was all that about? I think Carbo's finally cracked it.
Great, so I've got parents who don't take me seriously and a nut-case housemate.
That's the last thing I need.
(SMASH!) No, that is the last thing I need.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
Really? Really.
I'll grab the dustpan.
No, no, no.
I've got it.
Thank you, Ben.
I owe you.
I'm really sorry.
What? You'd rather take the rap for the broken rooster than tell Nathan.
Lookthe rooster has spoken.
I'll tell him, just not right now.
It's clearly not a good time.
Wimp.
Wuss.
Sook.
Coward.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) JAKE: Hey.
(CHUCKLES) Hey.
OK.
(swans) Oh! (CHUCKLES) What do you think? Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, I think you've got wallpaper paste in your hair and paint on your nose.
Hey! (CHUCKLES) Come on.
I really want your opinion.
Looks good, right? Mmm There is one thing.
Ohhh! Now that looks better.
Mmm.
(CHUCKLES) So do you.
Hmm'? Mmm.
RACHEL: (NARRATES) And in that moment with Jake, I was home.
We were home.