Private Practice s03e06 Episode Script
Slip Slidin' Away
New bag? Mm.
Chloé.
On sale.
Chloé's never on sale, you lucky bitch.
I love Chloé.
And Bottega Veneta.
And - Hermès.
- Oh, Hermès.
I'll miss Hermès.
- Is that tender? - Everything's tender.
It's gone to my liver, hasn't it? I don't know, but we knew that that was a possibility.
I'd like to readmit you to the hospital, run some tests.
- I can't.
I can't go to the hospital.
- Lillie, I know that this is scary, but I'm not scared.
I have Stage 4 ovarian cancer.
I've had two courses of chemo, three biopsies, one hysterectomy.
I'm way beyond scared.
It's Milo.
I can't leave him.
Your cat? Lillie, I know that you're attached, but - Heh.
- He's my world.
I spent my life working to make my design studio go, and it did and it was great.
But I thought there'd be time for everything else and there wasn't.
But I had Milo.
And now I can't leave him alone.
Well, um Okay, I can find you a cat-walker.
Or a sitter or, you know, a Whatever.
You You need to get back to the hospital.
I need to make sure that Milo's okay.
I need to find somebody to look after him.
Somebody that I can trust.
Dr.
Bennett? Our patients are already here.
They're very excited to start treatment.
I'm sorry.
Uh, do I know you? Gabriel Fife.
Dr.
Fife? Director of the G.
R.
P.
Genetic Research Program.
- Uh, where? - Here.
- We don't have a G.
R.
P.
- William hired me two weeks ago.
- You should keep up with your e-mails.
- I didn't get an e-mail because I'm the one who's in charge of hiring.
William thought we'd be good together, professionally speaking.
I've designed a technique that improves the success rate for complex implantations in various high-risk groups.
What techniques? What high-risk groups? Meet the Donovans.
Curtis and Sally.
They're here for embryo implantation.
We wanna have a dwarf baby.
And we're going to give it to them.
Dr.
Fife's been a godsend.
We've wanted children for so long.
But a child like us.
Without selection, there's about a 50 percent chance they'll have a dwarf baby, but with embryo selection and isolating the FGFR3 mutation, it's guaranteed.
You guaranteed it? I know it's odd to some people.
People who see this as a deformity or a disability.
But it's us.
It's who we are.
So when Dr.
Fife told us about you We are so grateful you're gonna give us a baby.
Our baby.
Thank you.
I just need time to review.
Dr.
Fife, may I speak with you outside, please? I know we just met, but I think you need to be careful.
You don't exactly exude the confidence most people expect from their doctor.
- Confidence? - Just trying to be helpful, no harm done.
Tell me, what can I do to expedite this process? - Um, I just met you five minutes ago.
- Uh-huh.
And I haven't agreed to do any of this.
I am uncomfortable with the idea of designer babies, and frankly, you say you work here, but I believe that you are mistaken.
William White hired me to do exactly this.
- This is his practice.
- This is my practice.
Then you ought to read your e-mails.
I'll schedule the implantation for tomorrow.
Nice meeting you.
There was no e-mail.
I don't think I can move.
I can't get off the table.
- Barbara.
- Please.
I'm tired.
I wanna stay here.
Tell Dr.
Turner I can't talk today.
They need to see you.
That's how you're fighting your depression.
And you are fighting it.
You got here.
- Jimmy had to drag me.
- Doesn't matter.
You got here.
- You did your biofeedback.
- And I don't feel better.
Which is why it's important for you to go upstairs.
So the therapies can work in concert.
I know you're trying to help.
And I know everyone's trying to help, but I just I'm done.
I wanna die.
I don't know why you people won't just let me kill myself so I can stop feeling like this.
So I said to him, "You do smell.
Bad.
" You said that to the patient? Yeah, I'm saying what I think.
It's freeing.
I'm telling them what I think.
And you know what? - They like it.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey.
- Anybody want a cat? Whoa.
A temporary, temporary cat.
Nice pussy.
Oh, don't be childish.
I'm talking about the cat.
- It's not mine.
It's my patient's.
Okay.
Well, just be careful.
Single woman, living alone.
First it's one cat, then you're home Fridays watching chick flicks.
Next you're living with nine cats and a bird.
Ha, ha.
- It's not mine.
Why is Catwoman so sexy, but a woman with cats? - So not.
- I think you should keep the cat.
I think it's a perfect opportunity for someone with commitment issues to work through them.
I'm saying what I think.
It's freeing.
Violet, I am glad that you're feeling better.
I am.
But, uh, I do not have commitment issues.
- Hey, Charlotte, I bet, uh, you like cats.
- I'm allergic.
I just wanted to give you ladies a thanks- for-welcoming-me-to-the-practice gift.
I just got them.
Please, not in front of the cat.
Catsitters, L.
A.
Cats don't need a sitter.
Haven't you ever had a pet before? Yeah, we had horses.
With trainers and riders.
Oh, and I had a pet hermit crab once.
But the air filter was very noisy, so I shut it off and he died.
- I'm escaping.
- Escaping who? My new director of genetic research.
Ooh, impressive.
You guys are going high-tech.
William is.
He hired him behind my back.
- Aren't you supposed to be in charge? - Yes, I am.
- Is he good? - He's brilliant.
And he knows it.
And he's arrogant and he's rude and - He's in a wheelchair.
- Oh.
And his patients are little people.
And they want to do a selective implantation.
They want a little baby.
I, uh I guess that leaves you with a small problem.
- Ha.
- Don't act like you weren't thinking it.
Well, you're in charge, Nai.
Yes, I am.
I am.
And genetic selection is a line that I won't cross.
There you have it.
You just stand tall.
I gotta go find Cooper.
He'll laugh with me.
Why is there a cat in here? So if the snot turns green, you're gonna have your mom call me, right? Yes.
All right, give me five.
Get out of here.
If his fever spikes, call me.
But otherwise, he's fine.
All right.
Bye.
Problem? Addison or Sam giving you a hard time? You need me to beat somebody up? OWG smackdown? No patients.
Oh, well, they'll grow to like you.
You're an acquired taste.
I did.
No patients, Cooper.
No people patients.
It's been two weeks and my practice is bombing.
- It's embarrassing.
- Charlotte Cooper, you've got a boatload of little snotty-head kids.
Go doctor them while I figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I watch her.
All the time.
And I don't even keep a razor in my bathroom in case I watch her.
But she stopped eating.
- Barbara's never getting better, is she? - Jimmy, depression is tough to break.
- And treatment is not fast.
- Yeah, it's been over a year.
I mean, she nursed her father, we canceled the wedding.
I love her, Pete.
I need her better.
Oh, hey.
Are you going up for your appointment? No, I'm I'm tired of all the talking.
I'm tired of all the pills, I'm It's not working.
- Barbara.
- Jimmy.
Barbara made a decision.
- What decision? Dr.
Turner has a way for me to get better.
To feel happy again.
Now.
I'm gonna do electroshock therapy.
This is not the treatment we agreed on.
The treatment we agreed on isn't working.
She needs a shock to the system.
Literally.
- What? - What are you doing? My job.
I'm adapting to Barbara's situation.
I'm altering course.
By sending electrical current through our patient's brain and inducing a seizure? That's a last resort.
It's not Cuckoo's Nest.
There's no holding her down, frothing at the mouth.
She's not gonna feel a thing.
It is accepted treatment.
She is desperate, she wants to be better, she wants to be better now, and I can give that to her.
ECT is not a magic bullet.
And this is not like you.
Well, I'm not like me, you know.
This is the new me, ha, ha.
Look, Violet, I know the trial was rough on you with - You faced your attacker and that was - Freeing.
I'm free.
I'm great.
But this is not about me.
This is about Barbara and what she needs.
Pete, we have tried everything.
We tried antidepressants, acupressure, biofeedback, exercise therapy, talk therapy.
Nothing's working.
Slow and steady is not working.
Slow and steady takes time.
You're the one that's always preaching that.
Well, maybe I was wrong.
People deserve more.
Faster.
I asked you to help and you did.
And thank you.
And now if you don't mind, I'm taking my new vibrator and heading home.
I want you to press this button whenever you have discomfort, okay? Lillie? Dr.
Montgomery, this is Dr.
Reynolds.
I'm Brian.
Her new oncologist.
Addison.
I did the initial resection.
Morphine, huh? Pain's worse? Well, hopefully after the chemo, it should start to subside.
I'm actually not recommending that.
But if we can give her a few more months, then I know you're a surgeon and you like to fix things.
And Lillie told me how good you are but I think it might be time to let go.
I think that's not your call.
No, it's mine.
I'm sorry, Addison.
You did your best.
I'm grateful.
But he's right.
I've decided.
I think I was holding on to my life, but once you agreed to take Milo, there's no reason to anymore.
It's time.
Before you yell, I wanna start with an apology.
I wanted to be here yesterday to introduce you to Dr.
Fife, but my jet was delayed.
We had a deal, William.
Hiring was my responsibility.
And you went around me.
You knew that I would object to his research, his attitude, and ultimately, his hiring.
I was aware that you might object to some of his research, yes.
Okay, would object.
But he became available.
There were other people interested, I had to make a decision.
Think of the potential.
Sickle cell, hemophilia.
Cystic fibrosis.
His work has the ability to change the face of medicine as we know it.
- That's what you and I wanted.
- He has no moral center.
He supports eugenics.
I mean, he wants me to help him design a baby.
That's what you do, Naomi.
When you weed out for disease.
You're afraid of the slippery slope, but you're already on it.
Maybe, but I am not skiing down it.
I'm not asking you to accept him.
I'm telling you.
Find a way to make it work.
So there will be a sedative running in the IV, and once I hit the switch, the current will move from the left cortex to the right cortex, inducing a seizure which we will monitor on the EEG.
- How long will it take? - It'll be over in a few seconds.
And you're not gonna feel a thing.
A few days of observation, I'll send you home.
A new woman.
A happier one, anyway.
You ready? Love you.
Okay.
- Is that it? - That's it.
Well, looks like I'm gonna have a cat a little longer than I thought.
Your patient? Chose hospice.
She's refusing treatment and she is gonna die.
I'm sorry.
She's dying alone.
You have any chocolate? We're all out downstairs.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Yes, Sam.
I ate it all.
Do you have any chocolate, please? - That's from Halloween.
- Didn't go well? Apparently, I have the ability to hire whoever I want, so does he.
Doesn't mean you have to do what Fife's asking.
It's your practice.
If he's being a jerk, why don't you tell him off? I can't.
He's in a chair.
What? I know it doesn't seem right, but telling off a man who's It You know, it feels wrong.
I can't.
Then I think you should go to the little people.
No, I'm serious.
They're your patients now.
Talk them out of it.
If you think it's wrong, then convince them.
You're right.
I'll convince them.
- Go ahead, take them.
- Thank you.
Charlotte.
I understand you've joined Oceanside Wellness.
- Good for you.
- It is.
Good for me.
It's allowed me to refocus my priorities.
Onto patient care.
Something my previous administrative duties prevented me from doing.
Well, it appears it all worked out for the best.
Yes.
Got patients lining up out the door.
Congratulations on all your success.
Dr.
Weinstein to Trauma 1 stat.
Dr.
Weinstein to Trauma 1.
Hi.
I was just keeping Jimmy company while he waits for her to wake up.
- He's getting coffee.
She's fine.
It went off without a hitch.
Good.
That's good.
Hey.
Hey, Barbara, you're in the hospital.
Everything went well.
- How you feeling? - Oh, I have a headache.
But there's nothing pressing down on my shoulders anymore.
If I feel lighter.
Hi.
Wow.
Well, look at you.
Look at that smile.
I missed that smile.
- Barb? - I'm sorry.
Uh, do I know you? Mild temporary memory loss is a common side effect of Mild? She doesn't remember me.
- She looked right through me.
- The memory loss should resolve in time.
And until then, what do I do? Do I remind her of things or do I have to keep my distance? Look, I know this is scary, Jimmy, but don't expect her to react to you the way she has in the past.
But you can talk to her, jog her memory.
That may help.
Okay, Violet.
Cards on the table.
How bad is this? I don't know.
I don't know, Pete.
I mean, it's rare, but sometimes the memory loss is permanent.
But she seemed good.
Her attitude.
- I mean, that's a good sign, isn't it? - It is not a good sign.
That's his fiancée and you're saying she might never remember him? She's happy, good for her.
But what about him? I told you not to rush into this.
I will fix this.
Okay? I will.
Once we start down the road of choosing characteristics for our children, I don't I don't know where that ends.
It's not something that our practice does.
I do wanna work with you.
I do.
But, um - Your daughter? - Uh, yeah.
She's very pretty.
She looks just like you.
Ha, ha.
Thank you.
You know, I never really see the resemblance, but, uh Of course you don't.
You take it for granted having a child that looks like you.
But what if someone had told you you couldn't have your daughter? Your own daughter who's like you in so many ways? Even if you don't select for dwarfism, your child will be a part of you.
What do you see when you look at me? It's a hard question for a tall person to answer.
Heh, because all you see is the dwarf.
No.
No, I don't.
When I look at Curtis, I see an accountant.
A husband.
And those things are what our friends see.
If we have a child who's 5'10", they'll look at him the way other people look at us.
What if you had a fifty-fifty chance of having a white baby? - Would you want a white baby? - No It's not the same thing.
It is.
You'd love that white baby.
But every day, people would question whether she was yours.
They'd whisper like they'll whisper about our tall child.
Would you want that for your child? We're not asking you to clone us.
We're just asking for what any other parent would come in and ask for.
We want what you have.
How is that crossing a line? You going to stand there all day or do you have something to say? In the wrong hands, genetic engineering can have terrible consequences.
So while you are here, I'm gonna be the gatekeeper.
That means I set the limits.
If there's gonna be any slippery slope, I'm gonna be the one to decide just how far we slide.
So you're in, with the Donovans.
Yes.
Well, don't expect me to thank you for doing what's right.
He is just He's a little man.
I'm sorry.
Wheelchair or no, he is a little man.
Oh.
What? - What is this? - Ha-ha-ha.
It's a Christmas angel.
You can take your kitty caroling.
- We're out of here.
- Um, this Ha, ha.
This isn't her cat.
This is for a temporary cat she's taking care of, so no caroling, ha, ha.
Okay.
- But thank you.
Okay, this place is insane, all right? We are in retail purgatory all because I'm trying to do a good deed for my patient? Let's Let's go over here.
This looks safe.
Oh, cute bag.
That's a cat carrier.
- Really? - Yeah.
What, you think Milo would like it? I think Lillie would like it.
Charlotte? - Uh, what are you doing? - Pipes weren't right, need to redo them.
- Charlotte.
- Unh.
Damn it.
Ahh, cheap tools.
How can I work like this? What do you want, Cooper? You want me to say I screwed up? Okay.
I screwed up.
You didn't want me to do this.
- And William White thinks I'm - Doesn't know you.
You're not heartless.
I saw him.
In the elevator.
Ow.
I humiliated myself.
I stood there and I lied to him.
I told him everything was great and that I was great.
And he knew I was lying.
He doesn't matter.
William White doesn't matter.
I can't fail twice.
I don't have it in me.
I can taste things again.
And when I look outside, the sky is blue.
Like indigo or cobalt or sapphire maybe.
I'm sorry.
Ha, ha.
It's just, um, everything feels so new.
Ha, ha.
That's great.
That's That's exactly how it's supposed to be.
Um, from the work we've done so far, I can see that your ability to form new memories is intact, so I'm gonna ask you some other questions, okay? What was the name of your high school? - Monklands High.
- Prom date? Eddie Parker.
Great prom.
Romance in Venice.
Wow, that's impressive.
I didn't think anyone remembered their prom theme.
It was great.
We did it by this pool with these giant papier-mâché gondolas.
I think I remember because my dad told me so many stories about Venice.
He went there with my mom on their honeymoon.
Can you tell me about his illness? He was just sick for such a long time.
And he tried to hang on until Until the wedding? What? What wedding? To Jimmy.
You and Jimmy were going to get married.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
He seems like a really nice guy.
I really wish I could remember.
She remembers nothing about Jimmy.
She remembers everything else.
Everything.
Memory loss from ECT is not that specific.
Then what is it? I think the ECT worked.
I think it unblocked her.
I think we got to the root of her depression.
I think the problem is Jimmy.
Something happened with Jimmy.
Something so bad that she blocked it out.
Okay.
Good morning, Nai.
- Hey.
- Oh, I hear you hired a new doctor.
Whatever.
I'm sorry.
No, yes.
A doctor has been hired, and he's great, and everything's going to be great.
If you could erase bad memories, do you think everything in life would be better? Yeah, there's some things in my life I'd like to erase.
Yeah, wouldn't we all? Oh, um - Will you say the thing? - Oh, okay.
Violet is not ready to come back.
Do not get your hopes up.
Do not push.
- Wait.
- But she's better.
- Freed or something.
- Want me to say the thing again? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Violet is not ready to come back.
Do not get your hopes up.
Do not push.
- Wait.
- Okay, thanks.
Okay, anytime.
White may have hired you, but you work for me.
And as long as you do, you will not withhold information from me.
Exactly what's the problem? The embryos that have the marker for dwarfism? They have a mutation that the other embryos don't have.
- It's called VHL.
- I know.
And children born with it have a 40 percent chance of developing cancer by the time they're in their 20s.
- It's a nonissue.
- It's cancer.
And in 20 years, if these children develop it, my gene-therapy treatments will allow me to cure it.
- No one can guarantee that.
- I can.
I did.
- What do you mean? - I told the Donovans.
They wanna go ahead with the implantation.
They'd rather have a sick dwarf child than a tall healthy one? Mm-hm.
The nondwarf embryos don't have the mutation.
- I told you, it's a nonissue.
- Ugh.
You I have been walking around here trying to be polite to you, but that is it.
I am done.
You are the most egotistical, pushy, boorish, little man that I have ever met.
Good for you.
- Excuse me? - You got over your fear of the wheelchair.
Usually takes people a few months, but you, less than a week.
I'm impressed.
Now, if you can just get over your fear of little people Shut up.
Shut up! You stupid, horrible, stupid jerk.
Okay, that was kind of lame.
Oh, God.
- We're still doing the implantation.
No.
No, we are not.
Okay, we're gonna try something different.
Um Hey, Jimmy, describe the last fight you had with Barbara.
Our last fight? We don't fight.
Well, come on, all couples fight.
It doesn't have to be a big thing.
It can be small even.
You were always so sad, I didn't wanna upset you any more.
Well, how about you, Barbara? I don't want you to think about Jimmy, but just describe the last fight you had with anyone.
Um - Um, I don't know.
- Well, like Violet said, everyone fights.
Well, it's not that.
It's just I'm sorry.
I know you want me to remember, and I want to remember.
Good things.
But to start talking about fights, l I've discovered peaches and the smell of lavender.
And I'm just I'm so happy.
I don't wanna go back.
Barbara, please.
You have to try.
We were in love.
You loved me.
I'm sorry.
You seem so nice.
But Can I have some more Jell-O? So how'd you hear about me? Uh, well, l I saw you at a seminar.
Great.
There's really no need to be nervous, Mr.
Parker.
Whatever issue you have, we can talk about it openly.
It's the only way I'm gonna be able to help.
So how can I help? I love my girlfriend.
And I want her to be happy.
Heh.
- Satisfied.
- I understand.
But I'm just a little too quick on, um pulling the trigger.
Well, that's a common problem.
There are many possible explanations.
And treatments.
We will get to the bottom of this.
And I can guarantee you, you and your girlfriend will be satisfied.
Great.
That That's great.
Uh, that's why I went online in the first place, but the more I read, the more freaked out I got.
Then someone in the chat room suggested you and, um I thought you said you saw me at a seminar.
Right.
After the seminar, I went to a chat room.
I wasn't supposed to mention the chat room.
Exactly what chat room are we talking about? Uh, we don't allow animals in here.
- I'm kidding.
- Oh.
I'm impressed.
With this? It is pretty fabulous, isn't it? No.
That you'd bring a cat for the visit.
- It's very nice of you.
- Oh.
Maybe you're a cat person after all.
I know you think you're paying me a compliment, but I don't think so.
- Ahem.
- No? Uh, actually, I was hoping I would flatter you enough that you'd have coffee with me.
You're asking me out on a date as we walk to our terminally ill patient's room? I'm an oncologist.
I'm always walking to a terminally ill patient's room.
I ask where I can, when I can, or I'd never get to ask.
Yes.
To coffee.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Uh, you know what? - Can you just hold this for a minute? - Sure.
Hey, Milo.
- Hello, Milo.
- There we go.
- How's his hair? - Perfect.
Okay.
Okay, bud.
I'm sorry.
- She's afraid.
- Of course she's afraid.
She's feeling good, feeling better.
She doesn't wanna lose that.
- So how do we break through? - We don't.
That's it? She's blocked out Jimmy, you think there's a mystery about him, and we just give her Jell-O? - She found a magic bullet, Pete.
- And what about Jimmy? If you're right, he could be dangerous.
If not, then is it fair that he suddenly becomes nobody to her? Look, I wish I could forget.
I wish I could find everything bad that happened to me and yank it out.
I can't, she can.
I'm not gonna take that away from her.
You're the one that pushed her to get the ECT, and now she's damaged.
- She's better.
- I don't buy that.
And if you're not gonna get to the truth, I will.
Pete.
Do Barbara.
- We need to talk about Jimmy.
- Is something wrong? - Let her rest.
- Your memory.
You've been through a lot and you're feeling better.
- But ECT does not - Pete.
ECT does not completely erase one person from your memory and leave everything else intact.
That's not the way it works.
Then I don't understand.
If you're blocking Jimmy out, there might be a reason.
Not an ECT reason.
Something he did.
Something that That you're burying.
Something that you buried so deeply during the past year that might be hard to talk about.
If Jimmy did something to you, if you're scared, we can help protect you.
You can tell us, and no matter how bad it is, no matter how awful, we'll make sure he never hurts you again.
I'm sorry.
Was there something funny about that? No.
The idea that Jimmy is dangerous.
You know him, he's Ha-ha-ha.
What? Nice.
You remember Jimmy.
I woke up feeling better.
I smiled and then I saw Jimmy walk through that door and I didn't wanna smile anymore.
I couldn't just tell him to go away after everything he's done.
Then I remembered you telling me that ECT can cause memory loss, so I suddenly realized, I could forget him.
And then I wouldn't have to hurt his feelings.
Wouldn't it have been easier to just tell him? You're engaged to him.
And for the life of me, I can't figure out why.
When I was depressed, he seemed fine.
And he took care of me and I really appreciated that.
But after the ECT, it's like the lights in my head went on and What was I thinking? No wonder I was depressed for such a long time.
Don't you think your father's death might have had to do with that? Yes.
Of course.
He liked Jimmy so much.
He used to tell me all the time, "Barbara, Jimmy, he's such a nice boy.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
" Sometimes l Argh, I want him to hurt a fly.
You get it.
Jimmy's that guy.
The guy at the bar that you go home with at 3 a.
m.
Because the guy you really wanna go home with went home with somebody else.
Telling him, it just seems cruel.
I wanna spare him.
Isn't this better? I just told off a man in a wheelchair and it felt so good.
I may be going to hell, but I am taking him with me.
What's wrong? Lillie died.
I'm sorry.
Alone, in a tiny room by herself without family, without friends.
Addison, you're not dying.
And you're not alone.
I know.
I have you.
And Sam.
And this practice, but I am alone.
And I don't know if it's me or if I have some bad karma because I'm a cheater, but every man I meet, it's either the wrong person or the wrong time.
Even the oncologist.
Lillie's oncologist.
He asked me out.
Brian Reynolds? He's cute.
Yes.
I said yes, but I can't, Nai.
I'm a mess.
Too screwed up to date.
Ugh, this damn cat keeps staring at me.
What the hell were you thinking? - Hey, Dr.
King.
I'm with a patient - A real patient.
Not like that guy you sent me.
The one with the You met him in a chat room.
My mom doesn't let me go into chat rooms.
Your mom's right.
Unless you're supervised by a grown-up.
- I'm a grown-up.
- No, he isn't.
- I was trying to help.
- Don't.
I don't need your pity patients.
Your hesitation has nothing to do with the second genetic lesion.
- Let's call this what it is.
- Yes, let's.
Uh, which is what? You won't do the implantation because you think we're freaks.
You're prejudiced against little people.
There is nothing I would rather do than give you what you want, but not like this.
But it's the only way for us.
- I understand what you want Look at you.
How can you possibly understand what it's like to be laughed at? To never fit in.
- You're tall and beautiful and successful - I was fat.
As a kid, l I was fat.
I don't mean to suggest that it's comparable, but everyone has their own scars to bear.
We all have our insecurities, and they're painful and persistent and they're ours.
I don't wanna compare painful anecdotes with you.
I'm just saying, in some small way, I do understand.
A small way? You know, it is really hard to avoid using words like "big" and "small" and "short" and "tall.
" We try to say things nicely, but, you know, the fact of the matter is, I wasn't just fat.
Fat is the nice word for what I was.
I was huge.
I was massive.
Six summers of fat camp.
My whole adolescence being made fun of.
I have heard every single joke.
Lardo and fat-ass and, uh, Dumbo and elephant and In our group of friends, a tall child will be Lurch or Giant or Godzilla.
But if he's healthy, he'll survive it.
I did.
You did.
But I cannot implant a sick embryo.
No matter what Dr.
Fife promises you about future breakthroughs, I cannot do it.
But what I can do is help you to have a healthy baby.
And whether he is tall or medium or small, when you hold him in your arms, he will be yours.
And you'll love him.
Isn't that all that really matters? That's what I can give you.
Are you Dr.
Montgomery? The hospital told me I'd find you here.
I'm Iris.
Lillie's second cousin, Iris.
Oh, uh, yeah, please come in.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I didn't realize that Lillie had any family.
We weren't close.
But Lillie called me, asked me to make the arrangements.
Wrap up the loose ends.
Is there anything that I can do? Or do you have any questions? Lillie told me how kind you were.
She told me you offered to care for Milo.
She wanted me to thank you.
I was glad I could help.
She didn't want to impose on you any further.
It wasn't her way.
I've come to take Milo home with me.
- Exactly what do you find so funny? - I'm sorry.
It's the fact that I dreamed up this huge trauma that turned out to be niceness.
The fact that somebody could dislike somebody else so much that she'd pretend not to remember him.
It's not funny.
You know, I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I actually I thought that Ha-ha-ha.
I thought that Jimmy might have killed her father.
Oh, it's sad, isn't it? The lengths we go to.
People.
Sad for Jimmy.
Oh, poor, nice Jimmy.
We have to tell him.
This isn't right.
You wanna break his heart more honestly? Because either way, Barbara doesn't wanna be with him.
Is that how it is for you? With me? No, don't answer that.
Just don't say what you think.
For once.
I don't wanna know.
Come on, Pete.
We're just We're laughing.
We're having fun.
So we lie to Jimmy.
We lie to Jimmy.
You're a very persuasive woman.
But not a particularly farsighted doctor.
Science is about progress.
And ten years from now? These kind of choices will be commonplace.
With or without your approval.
- There are limits to what we should do.
- And I guess here you get to decide.
- You don't like me? - No.
- No, I don't.
- I didn't like you either.
You're beautiful, gorgeous really, and very, very annoyingly tall.
The fact that you were a big giant fatty makes me like you just a little bit now.
There are chinks in that armor.
- Is that supposed to be a compliment? - Uh, actually, yes.
But don't feel too good about it.
You got what you wanted today.
But the Donovans? They didn't get what they wanted.
And I'll call you after I get the results of the CT urogram.
Okay.
Dr.
Sarno, Oncology, please.
Hi.
See what I did there? I didn't barge in and start yelling.
I waited for you to finish because I respect you professionally.
- Well, yay for you.
- And that wasn't a pity patient.
That's what, in doctor circles, is called a referral.
The proper response to which is: "Thank you, Dr.
Freedman, for referring me this interesting case.
" Oh, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Cooper.
Thank you for making me feel like a failure.
It's not bad enough that I failed at Pacific Wellcare, now my boyfriend's wrangling me patients off a bondage chat room because he doesn't believe I can get them on my own.
Shut up.
You can't reinvent yourself overnight.
It takes time.
And you can't do this all on your own and you don't have to.
You're part of a couple now.
We do things together.
You help me, I help you.
Admit it, you need me.
I'm awesome.
So this referral you sent me, you met him on a bondage site? Think there were other people on that site who could use a sexologist? Say I'm awesome.
Answer the question.
Maybe I will.
If you say I'm awesome.
So I'm just gone? Erased? I'm just supposed to walk away? I love her.
You love who she was, Jimmy.
And she loved you too.
But, ha, memory's a funny thing.
Memory and emotion get all wrapped up with each other, and sometimes it's hard to pull them apart.
She's happy now.
You did this.
- This isn't the way it was supposed to be.
No.
No, it isn't.
I wish we could offer you more.
But all you can really do is try to be happy for her.
Try and move on.
Addison? It's Sam.
Are you okay? Come on in.
Oh, I thought you said it was an emergency.
He's hiding underneath the couch.
I think.
I can't get him to come out.
I tried the nip, the squeaky toy, the cat boa.
And then I tried this.
Okay, that is wrong on so many levels.
No, he took a couple swats at it.
Why won't he come out? Because it's nasty.
Because he doesn't feel like it.
He's a cat.
That's what cats do.
Sort of takes the fun out of it.
Okay.
Let's try this.
- Cat whisperer.
- Ha, ha.
Look at So I take it he's staying? Yeah.
I'm keeping him.
I have a cat.
To crazy cat ladies.
- To Catwoman.
- Hmm.
Chloé.
On sale.
Chloé's never on sale, you lucky bitch.
I love Chloé.
And Bottega Veneta.
And - Hermès.
- Oh, Hermès.
I'll miss Hermès.
- Is that tender? - Everything's tender.
It's gone to my liver, hasn't it? I don't know, but we knew that that was a possibility.
I'd like to readmit you to the hospital, run some tests.
- I can't.
I can't go to the hospital.
- Lillie, I know that this is scary, but I'm not scared.
I have Stage 4 ovarian cancer.
I've had two courses of chemo, three biopsies, one hysterectomy.
I'm way beyond scared.
It's Milo.
I can't leave him.
Your cat? Lillie, I know that you're attached, but - Heh.
- He's my world.
I spent my life working to make my design studio go, and it did and it was great.
But I thought there'd be time for everything else and there wasn't.
But I had Milo.
And now I can't leave him alone.
Well, um Okay, I can find you a cat-walker.
Or a sitter or, you know, a Whatever.
You You need to get back to the hospital.
I need to make sure that Milo's okay.
I need to find somebody to look after him.
Somebody that I can trust.
Dr.
Bennett? Our patients are already here.
They're very excited to start treatment.
I'm sorry.
Uh, do I know you? Gabriel Fife.
Dr.
Fife? Director of the G.
R.
P.
Genetic Research Program.
- Uh, where? - Here.
- We don't have a G.
R.
P.
- William hired me two weeks ago.
- You should keep up with your e-mails.
- I didn't get an e-mail because I'm the one who's in charge of hiring.
William thought we'd be good together, professionally speaking.
I've designed a technique that improves the success rate for complex implantations in various high-risk groups.
What techniques? What high-risk groups? Meet the Donovans.
Curtis and Sally.
They're here for embryo implantation.
We wanna have a dwarf baby.
And we're going to give it to them.
Dr.
Fife's been a godsend.
We've wanted children for so long.
But a child like us.
Without selection, there's about a 50 percent chance they'll have a dwarf baby, but with embryo selection and isolating the FGFR3 mutation, it's guaranteed.
You guaranteed it? I know it's odd to some people.
People who see this as a deformity or a disability.
But it's us.
It's who we are.
So when Dr.
Fife told us about you We are so grateful you're gonna give us a baby.
Our baby.
Thank you.
I just need time to review.
Dr.
Fife, may I speak with you outside, please? I know we just met, but I think you need to be careful.
You don't exactly exude the confidence most people expect from their doctor.
- Confidence? - Just trying to be helpful, no harm done.
Tell me, what can I do to expedite this process? - Um, I just met you five minutes ago.
- Uh-huh.
And I haven't agreed to do any of this.
I am uncomfortable with the idea of designer babies, and frankly, you say you work here, but I believe that you are mistaken.
William White hired me to do exactly this.
- This is his practice.
- This is my practice.
Then you ought to read your e-mails.
I'll schedule the implantation for tomorrow.
Nice meeting you.
There was no e-mail.
I don't think I can move.
I can't get off the table.
- Barbara.
- Please.
I'm tired.
I wanna stay here.
Tell Dr.
Turner I can't talk today.
They need to see you.
That's how you're fighting your depression.
And you are fighting it.
You got here.
- Jimmy had to drag me.
- Doesn't matter.
You got here.
- You did your biofeedback.
- And I don't feel better.
Which is why it's important for you to go upstairs.
So the therapies can work in concert.
I know you're trying to help.
And I know everyone's trying to help, but I just I'm done.
I wanna die.
I don't know why you people won't just let me kill myself so I can stop feeling like this.
So I said to him, "You do smell.
Bad.
" You said that to the patient? Yeah, I'm saying what I think.
It's freeing.
I'm telling them what I think.
And you know what? - They like it.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey.
- Anybody want a cat? Whoa.
A temporary, temporary cat.
Nice pussy.
Oh, don't be childish.
I'm talking about the cat.
- It's not mine.
It's my patient's.
Okay.
Well, just be careful.
Single woman, living alone.
First it's one cat, then you're home Fridays watching chick flicks.
Next you're living with nine cats and a bird.
Ha, ha.
- It's not mine.
Why is Catwoman so sexy, but a woman with cats? - So not.
- I think you should keep the cat.
I think it's a perfect opportunity for someone with commitment issues to work through them.
I'm saying what I think.
It's freeing.
Violet, I am glad that you're feeling better.
I am.
But, uh, I do not have commitment issues.
- Hey, Charlotte, I bet, uh, you like cats.
- I'm allergic.
I just wanted to give you ladies a thanks- for-welcoming-me-to-the-practice gift.
I just got them.
Please, not in front of the cat.
Catsitters, L.
A.
Cats don't need a sitter.
Haven't you ever had a pet before? Yeah, we had horses.
With trainers and riders.
Oh, and I had a pet hermit crab once.
But the air filter was very noisy, so I shut it off and he died.
- I'm escaping.
- Escaping who? My new director of genetic research.
Ooh, impressive.
You guys are going high-tech.
William is.
He hired him behind my back.
- Aren't you supposed to be in charge? - Yes, I am.
- Is he good? - He's brilliant.
And he knows it.
And he's arrogant and he's rude and - He's in a wheelchair.
- Oh.
And his patients are little people.
And they want to do a selective implantation.
They want a little baby.
I, uh I guess that leaves you with a small problem.
- Ha.
- Don't act like you weren't thinking it.
Well, you're in charge, Nai.
Yes, I am.
I am.
And genetic selection is a line that I won't cross.
There you have it.
You just stand tall.
I gotta go find Cooper.
He'll laugh with me.
Why is there a cat in here? So if the snot turns green, you're gonna have your mom call me, right? Yes.
All right, give me five.
Get out of here.
If his fever spikes, call me.
But otherwise, he's fine.
All right.
Bye.
Problem? Addison or Sam giving you a hard time? You need me to beat somebody up? OWG smackdown? No patients.
Oh, well, they'll grow to like you.
You're an acquired taste.
I did.
No patients, Cooper.
No people patients.
It's been two weeks and my practice is bombing.
- It's embarrassing.
- Charlotte Cooper, you've got a boatload of little snotty-head kids.
Go doctor them while I figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I watch her.
All the time.
And I don't even keep a razor in my bathroom in case I watch her.
But she stopped eating.
- Barbara's never getting better, is she? - Jimmy, depression is tough to break.
- And treatment is not fast.
- Yeah, it's been over a year.
I mean, she nursed her father, we canceled the wedding.
I love her, Pete.
I need her better.
Oh, hey.
Are you going up for your appointment? No, I'm I'm tired of all the talking.
I'm tired of all the pills, I'm It's not working.
- Barbara.
- Jimmy.
Barbara made a decision.
- What decision? Dr.
Turner has a way for me to get better.
To feel happy again.
Now.
I'm gonna do electroshock therapy.
This is not the treatment we agreed on.
The treatment we agreed on isn't working.
She needs a shock to the system.
Literally.
- What? - What are you doing? My job.
I'm adapting to Barbara's situation.
I'm altering course.
By sending electrical current through our patient's brain and inducing a seizure? That's a last resort.
It's not Cuckoo's Nest.
There's no holding her down, frothing at the mouth.
She's not gonna feel a thing.
It is accepted treatment.
She is desperate, she wants to be better, she wants to be better now, and I can give that to her.
ECT is not a magic bullet.
And this is not like you.
Well, I'm not like me, you know.
This is the new me, ha, ha.
Look, Violet, I know the trial was rough on you with - You faced your attacker and that was - Freeing.
I'm free.
I'm great.
But this is not about me.
This is about Barbara and what she needs.
Pete, we have tried everything.
We tried antidepressants, acupressure, biofeedback, exercise therapy, talk therapy.
Nothing's working.
Slow and steady is not working.
Slow and steady takes time.
You're the one that's always preaching that.
Well, maybe I was wrong.
People deserve more.
Faster.
I asked you to help and you did.
And thank you.
And now if you don't mind, I'm taking my new vibrator and heading home.
I want you to press this button whenever you have discomfort, okay? Lillie? Dr.
Montgomery, this is Dr.
Reynolds.
I'm Brian.
Her new oncologist.
Addison.
I did the initial resection.
Morphine, huh? Pain's worse? Well, hopefully after the chemo, it should start to subside.
I'm actually not recommending that.
But if we can give her a few more months, then I know you're a surgeon and you like to fix things.
And Lillie told me how good you are but I think it might be time to let go.
I think that's not your call.
No, it's mine.
I'm sorry, Addison.
You did your best.
I'm grateful.
But he's right.
I've decided.
I think I was holding on to my life, but once you agreed to take Milo, there's no reason to anymore.
It's time.
Before you yell, I wanna start with an apology.
I wanted to be here yesterday to introduce you to Dr.
Fife, but my jet was delayed.
We had a deal, William.
Hiring was my responsibility.
And you went around me.
You knew that I would object to his research, his attitude, and ultimately, his hiring.
I was aware that you might object to some of his research, yes.
Okay, would object.
But he became available.
There were other people interested, I had to make a decision.
Think of the potential.
Sickle cell, hemophilia.
Cystic fibrosis.
His work has the ability to change the face of medicine as we know it.
- That's what you and I wanted.
- He has no moral center.
He supports eugenics.
I mean, he wants me to help him design a baby.
That's what you do, Naomi.
When you weed out for disease.
You're afraid of the slippery slope, but you're already on it.
Maybe, but I am not skiing down it.
I'm not asking you to accept him.
I'm telling you.
Find a way to make it work.
So there will be a sedative running in the IV, and once I hit the switch, the current will move from the left cortex to the right cortex, inducing a seizure which we will monitor on the EEG.
- How long will it take? - It'll be over in a few seconds.
And you're not gonna feel a thing.
A few days of observation, I'll send you home.
A new woman.
A happier one, anyway.
You ready? Love you.
Okay.
- Is that it? - That's it.
Well, looks like I'm gonna have a cat a little longer than I thought.
Your patient? Chose hospice.
She's refusing treatment and she is gonna die.
I'm sorry.
She's dying alone.
You have any chocolate? We're all out downstairs.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Yes, Sam.
I ate it all.
Do you have any chocolate, please? - That's from Halloween.
- Didn't go well? Apparently, I have the ability to hire whoever I want, so does he.
Doesn't mean you have to do what Fife's asking.
It's your practice.
If he's being a jerk, why don't you tell him off? I can't.
He's in a chair.
What? I know it doesn't seem right, but telling off a man who's It You know, it feels wrong.
I can't.
Then I think you should go to the little people.
No, I'm serious.
They're your patients now.
Talk them out of it.
If you think it's wrong, then convince them.
You're right.
I'll convince them.
- Go ahead, take them.
- Thank you.
Charlotte.
I understand you've joined Oceanside Wellness.
- Good for you.
- It is.
Good for me.
It's allowed me to refocus my priorities.
Onto patient care.
Something my previous administrative duties prevented me from doing.
Well, it appears it all worked out for the best.
Yes.
Got patients lining up out the door.
Congratulations on all your success.
Dr.
Weinstein to Trauma 1 stat.
Dr.
Weinstein to Trauma 1.
Hi.
I was just keeping Jimmy company while he waits for her to wake up.
- He's getting coffee.
She's fine.
It went off without a hitch.
Good.
That's good.
Hey.
Hey, Barbara, you're in the hospital.
Everything went well.
- How you feeling? - Oh, I have a headache.
But there's nothing pressing down on my shoulders anymore.
If I feel lighter.
Hi.
Wow.
Well, look at you.
Look at that smile.
I missed that smile.
- Barb? - I'm sorry.
Uh, do I know you? Mild temporary memory loss is a common side effect of Mild? She doesn't remember me.
- She looked right through me.
- The memory loss should resolve in time.
And until then, what do I do? Do I remind her of things or do I have to keep my distance? Look, I know this is scary, Jimmy, but don't expect her to react to you the way she has in the past.
But you can talk to her, jog her memory.
That may help.
Okay, Violet.
Cards on the table.
How bad is this? I don't know.
I don't know, Pete.
I mean, it's rare, but sometimes the memory loss is permanent.
But she seemed good.
Her attitude.
- I mean, that's a good sign, isn't it? - It is not a good sign.
That's his fiancée and you're saying she might never remember him? She's happy, good for her.
But what about him? I told you not to rush into this.
I will fix this.
Okay? I will.
Once we start down the road of choosing characteristics for our children, I don't I don't know where that ends.
It's not something that our practice does.
I do wanna work with you.
I do.
But, um - Your daughter? - Uh, yeah.
She's very pretty.
She looks just like you.
Ha, ha.
Thank you.
You know, I never really see the resemblance, but, uh Of course you don't.
You take it for granted having a child that looks like you.
But what if someone had told you you couldn't have your daughter? Your own daughter who's like you in so many ways? Even if you don't select for dwarfism, your child will be a part of you.
What do you see when you look at me? It's a hard question for a tall person to answer.
Heh, because all you see is the dwarf.
No.
No, I don't.
When I look at Curtis, I see an accountant.
A husband.
And those things are what our friends see.
If we have a child who's 5'10", they'll look at him the way other people look at us.
What if you had a fifty-fifty chance of having a white baby? - Would you want a white baby? - No It's not the same thing.
It is.
You'd love that white baby.
But every day, people would question whether she was yours.
They'd whisper like they'll whisper about our tall child.
Would you want that for your child? We're not asking you to clone us.
We're just asking for what any other parent would come in and ask for.
We want what you have.
How is that crossing a line? You going to stand there all day or do you have something to say? In the wrong hands, genetic engineering can have terrible consequences.
So while you are here, I'm gonna be the gatekeeper.
That means I set the limits.
If there's gonna be any slippery slope, I'm gonna be the one to decide just how far we slide.
So you're in, with the Donovans.
Yes.
Well, don't expect me to thank you for doing what's right.
He is just He's a little man.
I'm sorry.
Wheelchair or no, he is a little man.
Oh.
What? - What is this? - Ha-ha-ha.
It's a Christmas angel.
You can take your kitty caroling.
- We're out of here.
- Um, this Ha, ha.
This isn't her cat.
This is for a temporary cat she's taking care of, so no caroling, ha, ha.
Okay.
- But thank you.
Okay, this place is insane, all right? We are in retail purgatory all because I'm trying to do a good deed for my patient? Let's Let's go over here.
This looks safe.
Oh, cute bag.
That's a cat carrier.
- Really? - Yeah.
What, you think Milo would like it? I think Lillie would like it.
Charlotte? - Uh, what are you doing? - Pipes weren't right, need to redo them.
- Charlotte.
- Unh.
Damn it.
Ahh, cheap tools.
How can I work like this? What do you want, Cooper? You want me to say I screwed up? Okay.
I screwed up.
You didn't want me to do this.
- And William White thinks I'm - Doesn't know you.
You're not heartless.
I saw him.
In the elevator.
Ow.
I humiliated myself.
I stood there and I lied to him.
I told him everything was great and that I was great.
And he knew I was lying.
He doesn't matter.
William White doesn't matter.
I can't fail twice.
I don't have it in me.
I can taste things again.
And when I look outside, the sky is blue.
Like indigo or cobalt or sapphire maybe.
I'm sorry.
Ha, ha.
It's just, um, everything feels so new.
Ha, ha.
That's great.
That's That's exactly how it's supposed to be.
Um, from the work we've done so far, I can see that your ability to form new memories is intact, so I'm gonna ask you some other questions, okay? What was the name of your high school? - Monklands High.
- Prom date? Eddie Parker.
Great prom.
Romance in Venice.
Wow, that's impressive.
I didn't think anyone remembered their prom theme.
It was great.
We did it by this pool with these giant papier-mâché gondolas.
I think I remember because my dad told me so many stories about Venice.
He went there with my mom on their honeymoon.
Can you tell me about his illness? He was just sick for such a long time.
And he tried to hang on until Until the wedding? What? What wedding? To Jimmy.
You and Jimmy were going to get married.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
He seems like a really nice guy.
I really wish I could remember.
She remembers nothing about Jimmy.
She remembers everything else.
Everything.
Memory loss from ECT is not that specific.
Then what is it? I think the ECT worked.
I think it unblocked her.
I think we got to the root of her depression.
I think the problem is Jimmy.
Something happened with Jimmy.
Something so bad that she blocked it out.
Okay.
Good morning, Nai.
- Hey.
- Oh, I hear you hired a new doctor.
Whatever.
I'm sorry.
No, yes.
A doctor has been hired, and he's great, and everything's going to be great.
If you could erase bad memories, do you think everything in life would be better? Yeah, there's some things in my life I'd like to erase.
Yeah, wouldn't we all? Oh, um - Will you say the thing? - Oh, okay.
Violet is not ready to come back.
Do not get your hopes up.
Do not push.
- Wait.
- But she's better.
- Freed or something.
- Want me to say the thing again? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Violet is not ready to come back.
Do not get your hopes up.
Do not push.
- Wait.
- Okay, thanks.
Okay, anytime.
White may have hired you, but you work for me.
And as long as you do, you will not withhold information from me.
Exactly what's the problem? The embryos that have the marker for dwarfism? They have a mutation that the other embryos don't have.
- It's called VHL.
- I know.
And children born with it have a 40 percent chance of developing cancer by the time they're in their 20s.
- It's a nonissue.
- It's cancer.
And in 20 years, if these children develop it, my gene-therapy treatments will allow me to cure it.
- No one can guarantee that.
- I can.
I did.
- What do you mean? - I told the Donovans.
They wanna go ahead with the implantation.
They'd rather have a sick dwarf child than a tall healthy one? Mm-hm.
The nondwarf embryos don't have the mutation.
- I told you, it's a nonissue.
- Ugh.
You I have been walking around here trying to be polite to you, but that is it.
I am done.
You are the most egotistical, pushy, boorish, little man that I have ever met.
Good for you.
- Excuse me? - You got over your fear of the wheelchair.
Usually takes people a few months, but you, less than a week.
I'm impressed.
Now, if you can just get over your fear of little people Shut up.
Shut up! You stupid, horrible, stupid jerk.
Okay, that was kind of lame.
Oh, God.
- We're still doing the implantation.
No.
No, we are not.
Okay, we're gonna try something different.
Um Hey, Jimmy, describe the last fight you had with Barbara.
Our last fight? We don't fight.
Well, come on, all couples fight.
It doesn't have to be a big thing.
It can be small even.
You were always so sad, I didn't wanna upset you any more.
Well, how about you, Barbara? I don't want you to think about Jimmy, but just describe the last fight you had with anyone.
Um - Um, I don't know.
- Well, like Violet said, everyone fights.
Well, it's not that.
It's just I'm sorry.
I know you want me to remember, and I want to remember.
Good things.
But to start talking about fights, l I've discovered peaches and the smell of lavender.
And I'm just I'm so happy.
I don't wanna go back.
Barbara, please.
You have to try.
We were in love.
You loved me.
I'm sorry.
You seem so nice.
But Can I have some more Jell-O? So how'd you hear about me? Uh, well, l I saw you at a seminar.
Great.
There's really no need to be nervous, Mr.
Parker.
Whatever issue you have, we can talk about it openly.
It's the only way I'm gonna be able to help.
So how can I help? I love my girlfriend.
And I want her to be happy.
Heh.
- Satisfied.
- I understand.
But I'm just a little too quick on, um pulling the trigger.
Well, that's a common problem.
There are many possible explanations.
And treatments.
We will get to the bottom of this.
And I can guarantee you, you and your girlfriend will be satisfied.
Great.
That That's great.
Uh, that's why I went online in the first place, but the more I read, the more freaked out I got.
Then someone in the chat room suggested you and, um I thought you said you saw me at a seminar.
Right.
After the seminar, I went to a chat room.
I wasn't supposed to mention the chat room.
Exactly what chat room are we talking about? Uh, we don't allow animals in here.
- I'm kidding.
- Oh.
I'm impressed.
With this? It is pretty fabulous, isn't it? No.
That you'd bring a cat for the visit.
- It's very nice of you.
- Oh.
Maybe you're a cat person after all.
I know you think you're paying me a compliment, but I don't think so.
- Ahem.
- No? Uh, actually, I was hoping I would flatter you enough that you'd have coffee with me.
You're asking me out on a date as we walk to our terminally ill patient's room? I'm an oncologist.
I'm always walking to a terminally ill patient's room.
I ask where I can, when I can, or I'd never get to ask.
Yes.
To coffee.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Uh, you know what? - Can you just hold this for a minute? - Sure.
Hey, Milo.
- Hello, Milo.
- There we go.
- How's his hair? - Perfect.
Okay.
Okay, bud.
I'm sorry.
- She's afraid.
- Of course she's afraid.
She's feeling good, feeling better.
She doesn't wanna lose that.
- So how do we break through? - We don't.
That's it? She's blocked out Jimmy, you think there's a mystery about him, and we just give her Jell-O? - She found a magic bullet, Pete.
- And what about Jimmy? If you're right, he could be dangerous.
If not, then is it fair that he suddenly becomes nobody to her? Look, I wish I could forget.
I wish I could find everything bad that happened to me and yank it out.
I can't, she can.
I'm not gonna take that away from her.
You're the one that pushed her to get the ECT, and now she's damaged.
- She's better.
- I don't buy that.
And if you're not gonna get to the truth, I will.
Pete.
Do Barbara.
- We need to talk about Jimmy.
- Is something wrong? - Let her rest.
- Your memory.
You've been through a lot and you're feeling better.
- But ECT does not - Pete.
ECT does not completely erase one person from your memory and leave everything else intact.
That's not the way it works.
Then I don't understand.
If you're blocking Jimmy out, there might be a reason.
Not an ECT reason.
Something he did.
Something that That you're burying.
Something that you buried so deeply during the past year that might be hard to talk about.
If Jimmy did something to you, if you're scared, we can help protect you.
You can tell us, and no matter how bad it is, no matter how awful, we'll make sure he never hurts you again.
I'm sorry.
Was there something funny about that? No.
The idea that Jimmy is dangerous.
You know him, he's Ha-ha-ha.
What? Nice.
You remember Jimmy.
I woke up feeling better.
I smiled and then I saw Jimmy walk through that door and I didn't wanna smile anymore.
I couldn't just tell him to go away after everything he's done.
Then I remembered you telling me that ECT can cause memory loss, so I suddenly realized, I could forget him.
And then I wouldn't have to hurt his feelings.
Wouldn't it have been easier to just tell him? You're engaged to him.
And for the life of me, I can't figure out why.
When I was depressed, he seemed fine.
And he took care of me and I really appreciated that.
But after the ECT, it's like the lights in my head went on and What was I thinking? No wonder I was depressed for such a long time.
Don't you think your father's death might have had to do with that? Yes.
Of course.
He liked Jimmy so much.
He used to tell me all the time, "Barbara, Jimmy, he's such a nice boy.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
" Sometimes l Argh, I want him to hurt a fly.
You get it.
Jimmy's that guy.
The guy at the bar that you go home with at 3 a.
m.
Because the guy you really wanna go home with went home with somebody else.
Telling him, it just seems cruel.
I wanna spare him.
Isn't this better? I just told off a man in a wheelchair and it felt so good.
I may be going to hell, but I am taking him with me.
What's wrong? Lillie died.
I'm sorry.
Alone, in a tiny room by herself without family, without friends.
Addison, you're not dying.
And you're not alone.
I know.
I have you.
And Sam.
And this practice, but I am alone.
And I don't know if it's me or if I have some bad karma because I'm a cheater, but every man I meet, it's either the wrong person or the wrong time.
Even the oncologist.
Lillie's oncologist.
He asked me out.
Brian Reynolds? He's cute.
Yes.
I said yes, but I can't, Nai.
I'm a mess.
Too screwed up to date.
Ugh, this damn cat keeps staring at me.
What the hell were you thinking? - Hey, Dr.
King.
I'm with a patient - A real patient.
Not like that guy you sent me.
The one with the You met him in a chat room.
My mom doesn't let me go into chat rooms.
Your mom's right.
Unless you're supervised by a grown-up.
- I'm a grown-up.
- No, he isn't.
- I was trying to help.
- Don't.
I don't need your pity patients.
Your hesitation has nothing to do with the second genetic lesion.
- Let's call this what it is.
- Yes, let's.
Uh, which is what? You won't do the implantation because you think we're freaks.
You're prejudiced against little people.
There is nothing I would rather do than give you what you want, but not like this.
But it's the only way for us.
- I understand what you want Look at you.
How can you possibly understand what it's like to be laughed at? To never fit in.
- You're tall and beautiful and successful - I was fat.
As a kid, l I was fat.
I don't mean to suggest that it's comparable, but everyone has their own scars to bear.
We all have our insecurities, and they're painful and persistent and they're ours.
I don't wanna compare painful anecdotes with you.
I'm just saying, in some small way, I do understand.
A small way? You know, it is really hard to avoid using words like "big" and "small" and "short" and "tall.
" We try to say things nicely, but, you know, the fact of the matter is, I wasn't just fat.
Fat is the nice word for what I was.
I was huge.
I was massive.
Six summers of fat camp.
My whole adolescence being made fun of.
I have heard every single joke.
Lardo and fat-ass and, uh, Dumbo and elephant and In our group of friends, a tall child will be Lurch or Giant or Godzilla.
But if he's healthy, he'll survive it.
I did.
You did.
But I cannot implant a sick embryo.
No matter what Dr.
Fife promises you about future breakthroughs, I cannot do it.
But what I can do is help you to have a healthy baby.
And whether he is tall or medium or small, when you hold him in your arms, he will be yours.
And you'll love him.
Isn't that all that really matters? That's what I can give you.
Are you Dr.
Montgomery? The hospital told me I'd find you here.
I'm Iris.
Lillie's second cousin, Iris.
Oh, uh, yeah, please come in.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I didn't realize that Lillie had any family.
We weren't close.
But Lillie called me, asked me to make the arrangements.
Wrap up the loose ends.
Is there anything that I can do? Or do you have any questions? Lillie told me how kind you were.
She told me you offered to care for Milo.
She wanted me to thank you.
I was glad I could help.
She didn't want to impose on you any further.
It wasn't her way.
I've come to take Milo home with me.
- Exactly what do you find so funny? - I'm sorry.
It's the fact that I dreamed up this huge trauma that turned out to be niceness.
The fact that somebody could dislike somebody else so much that she'd pretend not to remember him.
It's not funny.
You know, I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I actually I thought that Ha-ha-ha.
I thought that Jimmy might have killed her father.
Oh, it's sad, isn't it? The lengths we go to.
People.
Sad for Jimmy.
Oh, poor, nice Jimmy.
We have to tell him.
This isn't right.
You wanna break his heart more honestly? Because either way, Barbara doesn't wanna be with him.
Is that how it is for you? With me? No, don't answer that.
Just don't say what you think.
For once.
I don't wanna know.
Come on, Pete.
We're just We're laughing.
We're having fun.
So we lie to Jimmy.
We lie to Jimmy.
You're a very persuasive woman.
But not a particularly farsighted doctor.
Science is about progress.
And ten years from now? These kind of choices will be commonplace.
With or without your approval.
- There are limits to what we should do.
- And I guess here you get to decide.
- You don't like me? - No.
- No, I don't.
- I didn't like you either.
You're beautiful, gorgeous really, and very, very annoyingly tall.
The fact that you were a big giant fatty makes me like you just a little bit now.
There are chinks in that armor.
- Is that supposed to be a compliment? - Uh, actually, yes.
But don't feel too good about it.
You got what you wanted today.
But the Donovans? They didn't get what they wanted.
And I'll call you after I get the results of the CT urogram.
Okay.
Dr.
Sarno, Oncology, please.
Hi.
See what I did there? I didn't barge in and start yelling.
I waited for you to finish because I respect you professionally.
- Well, yay for you.
- And that wasn't a pity patient.
That's what, in doctor circles, is called a referral.
The proper response to which is: "Thank you, Dr.
Freedman, for referring me this interesting case.
" Oh, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Cooper.
Thank you for making me feel like a failure.
It's not bad enough that I failed at Pacific Wellcare, now my boyfriend's wrangling me patients off a bondage chat room because he doesn't believe I can get them on my own.
Shut up.
You can't reinvent yourself overnight.
It takes time.
And you can't do this all on your own and you don't have to.
You're part of a couple now.
We do things together.
You help me, I help you.
Admit it, you need me.
I'm awesome.
So this referral you sent me, you met him on a bondage site? Think there were other people on that site who could use a sexologist? Say I'm awesome.
Answer the question.
Maybe I will.
If you say I'm awesome.
So I'm just gone? Erased? I'm just supposed to walk away? I love her.
You love who she was, Jimmy.
And she loved you too.
But, ha, memory's a funny thing.
Memory and emotion get all wrapped up with each other, and sometimes it's hard to pull them apart.
She's happy now.
You did this.
- This isn't the way it was supposed to be.
No.
No, it isn't.
I wish we could offer you more.
But all you can really do is try to be happy for her.
Try and move on.
Addison? It's Sam.
Are you okay? Come on in.
Oh, I thought you said it was an emergency.
He's hiding underneath the couch.
I think.
I can't get him to come out.
I tried the nip, the squeaky toy, the cat boa.
And then I tried this.
Okay, that is wrong on so many levels.
No, he took a couple swats at it.
Why won't he come out? Because it's nasty.
Because he doesn't feel like it.
He's a cat.
That's what cats do.
Sort of takes the fun out of it.
Okay.
Let's try this.
- Cat whisperer.
- Ha, ha.
Look at So I take it he's staying? Yeah.
I'm keeping him.
I have a cat.
To crazy cat ladies.
- To Catwoman.
- Hmm.