Stuck in the Middle (2016) s03e06 Episode Script

1 What the heck is that? - Could be a camera.
- Or a thermometer.
I bet it's a dolphin translator.
And it could not come sooner.
I can't wait to hear what they have to say.
It's a heart rate monitor.
It's the first part of my lie detector test.
Your heart rate goes up when you lie.
Or when your work gets interrupted.
Uh, what do you need a lie detector for? Abuela sent us Valentine candy.
Everybody says they didn't see it, yet I found the empty box in the trash.
- Well, it wasn't me.
- We'll see.
Oh, which wire are you gonna connect next, red or blue? [HUFFS.]
I thought you guys were going to the movies tonight.
Well, we couldn't decide which one, so we figured we'd see what you were doing.
This happens every time Georgie and Wyatt hang out.
You know how sometimes people feel like they're the third wheel in a relationship? That's me.
And I never even wanted to be a part of the tricycle.
I'm working.
At least I'm trying to.
Well, I'd better get home.
But still really curious about that red-or-blue thing? - Red.
- Knew it.
- Okay, bye.
- Oh Bye.
Have you noticed every time you and Wyatt hang out, you actually hang in? - With me.
- We do? [MOVIE PLAYING.]
Wait, why is the queen running through the forest? Because the fire elves are chasing her.
- Who are the fire elves? - We don't know yet.
They just crawled out of the dungeon.
Oh.
Missed that.
- I'll rewind.
- Okay.
What do you want to eat? I don't know.
Huh.
Me neither.
Hey, Harley, what are you having? Peanut butter and jelly.
- [GASPS.]
That sounds good.
- Mmm.
[HUFFS.]
Wow.
Our relationship has really slipped since the prom.
And he spent half of that talking to a potted fern he thought was me.
Okay, "Grandpa thought I was a potted plant" is not the kind of story you want to be telling your grandkids.
You two need to get out and make better memories.
It's weird.
We have fun at my games and at parties, but when it's up to us to make a plan, we end up eating your sandwich.
I like Wyatt, but maybe the two of us just don't work.
Well, I know the three of us don't.
Starting now, you are going to be coming up with your own activities.
You're right.
One of us needs to take charge.
But how will we decide which one? You, Georgie! It should be you! Yes.
Me, of course.
I will take charge.
- With your help.
- I would be happy to.
For your sake.
And because I need to finish this before the Valentine thief strikes at Easter.
You can steal my candy hearts, but no one takes my chocolate bunny.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you All right.
The new take-charge, decisive Georgie just texted Wyatt.
I'm making us a plan for Saturday.
So what should we do? Well, where would you go if you were taking yourself out? Start with a meal.
Hmm.
Okay, well, I would take me to the grilled cheese truck.
See how easy that was? Keep going.
Then I would eat it in Dobson Park.
You know the bench next to the garden? Love it.
That sounds so good I want to tag along.
But I won't, because, as you know now, and should have before, that's weird.
- Hmm.
- Okay.
Grilled cheese, park then what? Oh! And if I'm in the park, I would love for me to take me roller skating! See? You're showing yourself a great time.
I am, but this date's for Wyatt, too.
Isn't it selfish if I only plan stuff that I like? Well, you and Wyatt like most of the same things.
That's why you're such a great couple.
If you plan things that you like to do, he'll like them too.
You're right.
I can't wait to have the perfect date with me! I mean, Wyatt.
And I can't wait for the perfect date with me finishing my heart rate monitor.
I'm so excited.
I wish it was already finished so I could measure how excited I am.
Hey.
Saw you reading comics at school the other day.
Ever heard of Doctor Tick-Tock? Of course.
I just got the latest issue.
Thought you might want to check it out.
I'll just give it a quick glance and then slide it back under the gate to you.
Okay, bye.
Wait.
This issue isn't even out yet.
How do you have it already? My friend Todd from my old school, his dad draws it.
You know Garth Benson? - Uh-huh.
- What's he like? A lot like Doctor Tick-Tock, minus the solar-powered clock helmet.
I had that helmet when I was a kid! Me too! That thing made no sense.
What's the point of having a clock on your head? You can't even see it! And it never worked! I was late to school, every day.
They're in town.
I'm supposed to have dinner with them tonight.
You're welcome to come.
To dinner? W-With Garth Benson? - Uh-huh.
- Oh ho! Wait.
No, I-I can't.
You're not exactly my sister's favorite person.
I mean, between the backyard battle and the fight you had over the announcements Oh, and do you still do that drumming thing with your fingers? 'Cause she hates that.
That's why I'm inviting you no her.
Still.
Wait.
You're not afraid of your sister, are you? Afraid? No.
Pfft! She's, like small.
So that's yes.
[SIGHS.]
Yes.
That's a yes.
[SNAPS FINGERS.]
See ya.
Thanks to me having some alone time, this baby's finally finished.
[BEEPING RHYTHMICALLY.]
Heart rate steady.
I did not take Abuela's candy.
Hey! New take-charge Georgie is back.
How'd it go with Wyatt? Wait.
[BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
Your heart is racing.
It must have been exciting.
Or you took the candy.
- I didn't.
- We'll see.
Now sit.
I want to hear everything.
Start at the beginning.
Okay.
Well, first, we hit the grilled cheese truck.
Mmm! Warm, gooey goodness.
Solid start to an awesome time.
Oh! This is so delicious! Thanks for takin' charge of today.
Don't thank me.
We owe it all to Harley.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Boop! - Oh! Boop! I was just the inspiration.
- You get the credit.
- Credit? - More like blame.
- What? [GEORGIE.]
Last month Wyatt got food poisoning from a grilled cheese.
Now even the smell of it makes him sick.
He didn't want to say anything because I told him grilled cheese was my favorite thing.
Oh! Oh! Done already? I'll order you another.
Okay, food fail, but at least you were eating at the park.
The setting was beautiful.
[SIGHS.]
What a great spot.
You really nailed it.
No.
Harley nailed it.
[WYATT CHUCKLES.]
I'm just a person.
Anybody could save a relationship.
Slow down, anybody.
That is not how it went.
[GEORGIE.]
Turns out they had fertilized the garden with chicken manure.
[HARLEY.]
Oh, no, could you smell it? [GEORGIE.]
Smell and, when a big wind kicked up, taste.
FYI, chicken manure does not taste like chicken.
- So you left? - Not fast enough.
So roller skating turned it all around? Ahh.
This is fun.
And thanks to all this protective gear, we can't even get hurt.
Hurt? We're past that nonsense.
Only good things can happen now.
- Right? - [GRUNTS.]
[GEORGIE.]
After the fertilizer storm, Wyatt couldn't really see.
[HARLEY.]
He didn't learn his lesson after prom and have backup contacts? - Are your eyes okay? - Oh, yeah.
They're fine.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
He not only learned, he got laser eye surgery.
Which is too bad, because his giant glasses could have kept the tornado of chicken poop out of eyes.
[WYATT.]
Ohh! Which led to my first good decision of the day: taking him to the hospital.
- The hospital? - When he fell he broke his arm and his other wrist.
If this isn't a sign we're not meant to be together, I don't know what I'm waiting for a meteor to hit him? I'm sorry.
I don't even know what to say.
Except that there won't be another meteor shower for five months.
Ohh.
I can't wait that long.
In every couple, there should be a leader and a follower.
When two followers get together, this is what happens.
[SIGHS.]
Wyatt and I need to break up.
Okay.
Wow.
Uh well, you're being a leader now.
You just made a really big decision.
Actually, two decisions.
I also decided you're telling him.
Me?! Why should I be the one to break up with Wyatt?! This whole thing is your fault.
You made me plan my perfect day and ruin Wyatt's life.
Look, I gave you advice, you took it, and it turned out terribly.
It happens every day in this house.
Well, I can't break up with him.
You've seen what happens when I make decisions.
Wyatt's already lost both of his arms he can't afford to lose his legs, too.
He walks to school.
I don't know how to break up with someone! I took a nine-year-old to the prom because I couldn't hurt his feelings.
There's a photo in the yearbook of me and the top of his head.
You know what? This is my problem, not yours.
- I'll handle it.
- Good.
Now what are you gonna say? Nothing.
Wyatt and I will just stay together.
Get married someday, move upstate, maybe downstate.
Maybe some other state.
Or we could stay here.
Can we do Thanksgiving with your family? No.
I will break up with him.
Hey.
Why are you here? "Thanks for the awesome dinner last night "with my favorite comic book artist I never would have met on my own, Aiden.
" Is that what you meant? Sorry.
You just surprised me.
You're right.
Thanks.
So, uh, what's up? Just wanted to borrow that book you were talking about.
Ya know, I can't go get it right now.
I'll bring it to school tomorrow.
You didn't tell Harley we're hanging out, did you? Uh, haven't really seen her.
Heh.
Big family.
People get lost in the crowd.
Didn't even know we had Daphne till she was, like, three.
I'm going to track down Harley and tell her.
As soon as I'm finished with this.
Okay.
Hey, good luck standing up to your little sister.
Ohh.
Aah! You put that guy on the Dead To Diaz list for being a jerk to Harley.
Why are you back there? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're not supposed to speak to him even if it's lies.
Especially if it's lies.
Your lies are terrible.
Really? I thought they were pretty Terrible.
You're hanging out with a dude who's Dead To Diaz.
Even I wouldn't do that.
And I just spied on you through garbage.
I'm going to need ten dollars to keep this quiet.
Forget it.
I'm telling Harley myself.
Fine.
I'll take five! Uhh.
Nothing kills a bribe game like honesty.
I'm kind of worried about how Wyatt's going to handle the bad news, but I figure everything is easier to take with some warm cookies.
Plus, who can cry when their mouth's filled with chocolate chips? Ohh.
Got a sec? Sure.
Just baking some cookies for Georgie's soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
Look, there's something I need to tell you.
So, I - [BEEPING.]
- What is that? What are you doing? Heart rate monitor.
I think it's messed up.
I have something to do later that I'm really nervous about, and it's saying my heart rate is only normal.
I'm gonna test the levels out on you while you talk.
- [BEEPING.]
- Great idea.
Okay how do I put this? You know that video where the man becomes friends with the goose? I haven't seen it.
So, this guy is going for a walk one day, and this goose climbs out of a lake and starts following him around.
- [BEEPING.]
- It sounds crazy, but before you know it, they end up becoming buds.
The man never thought it would happen in a million years, and I'm sure the goose didn't either, and even though a man and a goose becoming friends makes no sense, it totally works because they're both fans of the same comic book.
Wait, the goose can read? You should have led with that.
The thing to remember is, neither the man or the goose meant to hurt anyone's feelings.
- [BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
- I guess what I'm trying to say is Whoa.
This thing says your heart rate is off the charts.
[BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
Did you take the abuela candy? No! It's because I friends the goose can read, Harley! - [BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
- Ohh! [KNOCKS.]
Ohh.
I don't want to do this.
Huh.
Everything is easier with cookies.
[CLATTER.]
Harley! Oh.
I think I know why you're here.
Good.
That'll make this go a lot faster.
I always knew the Diazes were great people, but I can't believe you remembered today's my birthday! I can't either! I just can't believe it! Really can't believe it.
Your birthday! Of course! Which is why I brought you these chocolate chip cookies.
Happy birthday.
Or should I say, "Chippy birthday"? [LAUGHS.]
Here you go.
Could you carry them in for me? Your timing's great.
You can stay and watch me open presents.
[LAUGHS.]
Of course.
Ohh.
Hey! Thanks for comin' down.
I got that comic book you wanted to borrow.
In fact, I brought my entire collection.
What better place to get your geek on than a bait shop? Lots of space to lounge, [inhales) refreshing salty air, the chatter of old fishermen.
Dude, just admit it.
You're afraid to tell your sister we're friends.
I'm not afraid of my sister.
Good, 'cause there she is now.
Duck! I was joking.
Heh.
Me too.
You still didn't tell her yet, did you? Ah, no, no, not yet.
But-But I will.
For now, have fun.
Enjoy the books.
If you want to read anything prior to 2010, use these protective gloves.
Dad? I-I thought you went out to fix that motor.
No, good news.
I got there late, the boat sank.
[LAUGHS.]
It's good news because I didn't have to fix anything.
And someone's coming here tomorrow to buy a boat.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE.]
Hey.
Isn't that the kid you guys put on the Dead To Diaz list? Y-Yeah, yeah.
He's just here shopping for an anchor.
Like teenage boys do.
I-I'll ring him up.
[GRUNTING.]
Here's the one you're looking for.
Comes out to $107.
Look, Ethan, you're cool and all, but we're either friends or we're not.
Let me know when you figure it out.
Until then, I'm taking your Vampilot 6.
It's a long walk home.
You didn't tell me it was his birthday! You seemed nervous.
I didn't want to put any more pressure on you.
So, how did it go? I want every detail.
Funny you want details when you're so fond of leaving them out.
How'd he handle the breakup? Pretty well probably because I never got to that part.
- What? - He had a lot of presents to open.
By the way, his parents say hi.
And he's coming over later because the reason you weren't with me was that you were planning a party for him here.
He's coming here?! Harley! Hey, this is your fault! The birthday thing caught me off guard and I started rambling.
FYI, you're baking him his favorite cake.
Oh, and you should probably get him a gift.
Not a book, though.
He got a ton of those.
A cake? You went over there and made it worse.
- Thanks a lot.
- Don't be mad at me.
I told you I'd never broken up with anybody before.
You still haven't.
Ohh.
I wish Rachel were here.
She would talk to Wyatt and he would be gone in a hot second.
Great idea.
Let's buy her a plane ticket home to do the dirty work.
Not fast enough.
We need a heartless assassin who's in the same country.
[CLATTER.]
[DAPHNE.]
Anyone else got a problem with my spoons? Okay.
Hit the bricks, Unicorn! Great.
Now Blue Fairy's crying.
How can I enjoy my tea with all that blubbering! So what we're saying is, we'd like for you to break up with Wyatt for me.
No, thanks.
We're all enjoying our scones.
Right? If you don't help us, I'll use my heart rate monitor to find out if you were the one who took Abuela's candy.
- Like you have a - [MONITOR BEEPING.]
Someone ate all the candy that Abuela sent us.
- Was it you? - No! - Uh Lewie took it! - [BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
Beast took it! Dad took it! Would you excuse me? I have to go to the bathroom.
Aah! Get her! She's the one who took the candy! All right, all right, I'll do it! But I keep the candy.
Hey, Dad? There's something important I need to talk to you about.
Have you seen that video where the man is friends with the goose? Yeah! You're like, "What are these two doing together?" - But it totally works.
- Exactly.
Aiden and I are friends, and I'm the one who put him on the Dead To Diaz list for Harley.
Oh.
When Harley finds out, she'll think I betrayed her.
If I stay loyal to my sister, I have to lose my friend.
What do I do? I'm sorry, I can't make this decision.
You're gonna have to do it yourself.
I don't want Harley to be mad at me.
Well, she might be.
But that's the good thing about family no matter what choices you make, good or bad, your family's not going anywhere.
They're stuck with you for life.
Thanks, Dad.
I guess I have a lot to think about.
You know what helps me think? Scrubbing algae.
It's very therapeutic.
Hmm.
Thanks for coming by.
Make yourself comfortable.
I will be over there.
Oh.
Uh, is this a surprise party? Because Harley already told me there's gonna be a party.
Don't worry.
There's a surprise.
[DAPHNE.]
Hello, Wyatt.
May I offer you a refreshment? [REMOTE BEEPS.]
[BEEPS.]
Umm.
Sorry.
Thank you.
I understand today is your birthday.
- Yes.
- Happy birthday.
Cake? [REMOTE BEEPS.]
[REMOTE BEEPS.]
Sure.
February birthday that would make you an Aquarius.
I find that the weakest of all the signs.
Pisces, actually.
I'm on the cusp Enough small talk.
You've been dumped.
Tissue? [BEEPS.]
[BEEPS.]
Haha.
Georgie, what's going on? Okay here she goes.
I'm breaking up with you.
Are we done here? I'm meeting Blue Fairy for an apology lunch.
I can't wait to hear her beg.
Uh, I don't understand.
- We broke up weeks ago.
- What?! Yeah, don't you remember when I said I wanted to see other people? We were in the recovery room for your laser eye surgery.
I-I thought you meant you wanted to see other people.
Oh.
It was "see" and "go out with.
" So, what you're saying is, these last few weeks we've been hanging out as friends? Sittin' here daydreamin' 'Bout how you see me No, thanks.
I'm not in the mood.
You should be happy.
This is what you wanted, right? I did, but I'm not good at letting things go.
I get sad when I sell my old clothes at a yard sale.
They don't fit, and I don't want them, but still.
I miss Wyatt like I miss those red clogs that gave me blisters.
[HARLEY.]
Decisions are tough even for the best of us.
Sometimes you can't decide what to do.
So, what do you want to watch? I don't know.
It's all right.
I'll decide.
Sometimes you need some help.
And sometimes, you need someone to do it for you.
So, we can't hang out anymore? Don't drag this out.
It's my second one of these today, and I'm tired.
Boys.
So pathetic.