Tales from the Crypt (1989) s03e06 Episode Script

Welcome aboard, fright-seers.
Looking for a little hell-iday fun? You've come to the right place.
We specialize in all sorts of hack-age tours.
So what'll it be? A few days in a scream park? Or would you like me to book you into a nice quiet dead and breakfast? Or perhaps you'd like to go treasure-haunting Iike my friend Red? He wants to steal a priceless black pearl in a tasteless tidbit I call: "Dead Wait:" Hey, I've been waiting for you for hours, Charlie.
Where the hell you been? Where do you think? I've been tracking Duval.
Took me all goddamn day to find someone who'd talk to me about him.
Son of a bitch practically owns the fucking island.
He's got a huge plantation up in the mountains.
Well, hey.
That's where he keeps the pearl.
Bingo! We got him, Charlie.
That pearl's practically ours.
It ain't going to be that easy, Red.
Did you get the boat like I asked? Yo, I've been thinking.
I got a better idea.
-lf we hijack a plane-- -Christ! You're gonna fuck things up, aren't you? If I tell you I want a boat, I want a goddamn boat.
You know, I've got ideas, too.
Well, fuck your ideas! I'm the one that's got to do all the dirty work around here.
When they come running to the coast I want to make damn sure I got a way off this stinking island.
Don't treat me like a fucking moron.
I will treat you the way I wanna treat you.
What's the matter with you? You ought to be doing your job instead of fucking with goddamn games.
I got news for you, Charlie.
Chess isn't just a game, man.
-It's a way to improve your mind.
-Yeah, well first you got to have a mind in order to improve it.
Got to hand it to you, Charlie.
You're the one with the brains, all right.
But if you're so fucking smart how come you're the one that's dead? Hey, that mec you were looking for.
That's him, Duval.
Mr.
Duval, I'd like to introduce myself.
My name's Red Buckley.
I understand you're looking for some help running your plantation.
Who told you of this? It's a small island.
Word gets around.
Yes, I would imagine it would.
Sit, monsieur.
Bring another glass.
Katrine, this is monsieur Buckley.
Pleasure's mine.
You have beautiful hair, monsieur.
Don't stare, Katrine.
It's not polite.
You must excuse her, monsieur.
Even where you come from hair like yours is rare.
On this island it is positively unique.
So what do you know about running a plantation? -I grew up on a farm.
-You did? May I see your hands? This does not look like the hand of a farmer, monsieur.
I've been at sea for a lot of years.
In the Navy.
And now you want to get back to the land.
If I never see water again it wouldn't break my heart.
That's rather an odd thing to say, isn't it? Here in the middle of an island.
Especially this one? You are aware of what is going on here? I refer to the revolution.
Most people are trying to run away.
I've been in more dangerous places.
Well, I hope you're right.
Tell me, are you, by any chance, a player of chess? Yeah.
As a matter of fact, I am.
Good.
-Well, my dear, shall I hire him? -What the hell.
There you have your answer, monsieur: "What the hell:" -Nice place you have here, Mr.
Duval.
-Thank you, monsieur.
It's one of the few pleasures that I have left on this earth.
Don't be alarmed, monsieur.
That's just the rebels operating in the hills.
They're not very well-organized on this side of the island.
Or not yet, anyway.
-Welcome back.
We missed you.
-Thank you, Peligre.
This is Red.
He will be running the plantation from now on.
Red, this is Peligre who has worked with me for many years.
It's nice to meet you.
Peligre will escort you to your quarters.
If they're ready.
Yes, they are.
I've just finished cleansing them.
-So you're the housekeeper? -Oh, no, no, no.
Peligre is a Mundunugu.
Her cleansing is of an entirely spiritual nature.
Come and talk to me when you've settled in.
Perhaps we can play chess.
If there is ever anything that you need, monsieur.
Thanks.
Nice place.
So you're a voodoo priestess or something? Or something.
-ls that your real hair color? -Yeah.
What is all this shit about my hair? Our culture believes that the color red symbolizes life.
So you should feel very blessed.
I'm working on it.
Say, what's wrong with Duval? What do you mean? Well, you know, the limp.
The lines on his hand.
What the hell is that? Evil spirits.
-What? -He conjures them.
Didn't he tell you he was a witch doctor? You're much too easy.
Really, what's wrong with him? Schistosomiasis.
Water worms.
They mature in the blood and destroy the liver and spleen.
Sometimes they migrate out to the skin and burrow there.
-I'm told they're very painful.
-I'll bet.
Not exactly the Ritz, is it? You don't need to be afraid.
The spirit of the ram is here to protect the hut for you.
I want you to get that fucking thing out of here.
You should be more careful.
Especially about things you don't understand.
Can you imagine how odd some of your beliefs must be to others? Hello, Duval? You home? Duval? Katrine? Holy shit.
Don't get too close.
You'll set off the alarm.
And I don't think the local army commandant will appreciate being dragged here from his bed at this time of night.
-The army? -Oh, yes.
Far more reliable than the island's police.
One of the benefits of having friends in high places.
That's some pearl, Mr.
Duval.
I've never seen anything like it.
Yes, and you never will.
It's one of a kind.
Oh, there are other black pearls, but none like this.
-lt must be worth a lot of money.
-Oh, yes, if I wished to sell it.
But some things are worth more than money, Red.
You don't mind me calling you Red? Fine with me, Mr.
Duval.
Then you shall call me Emil.
You know, I want you to know that I'm really glad that you're here.
I hope we become friends.
Good friends.
-I'd like that, Emil.
-Good.
And now, my friend, you must excuse me.
I have to go to bed.
A word of advice, Red: Don't get old.
There's no fun in it.
Night, Emil.
It's quite beautiful, isn't it? The black pearl? Yeah, it's something.
Except I was under the impression that you were Duval's black pearl.
No.
I'm his black diamond.
Or maybe his black queen.
It doesn't seem right.
An incredible-looking woman like you with a sick old man like him.
Emil is very good to me.
Emil or Emil's money? You are one to talk.
All I'm saying is maybe Duval's right.
Maybe there is more to life than money.
Ah, oui? And what might that be? Red king takes black queen.
Baby, you were something.
I shouldn't stay too long.
Emil will be looking for me.
He doesn't sleep much anymore.
Sounds like the rebels are operating on this side of the hill tonight.
-You mean they're getting closer? -Well, they might be.
Do you know how to turn off Duval's security system? You're not exactly subtle, are you? I don't have time for subtle.
Come on.
You want that damn pearl as much as I do.
Why wait for it? If you want something, you might as well take it.
I don't know how the security system works.
I bet you'll find out.
I don't think you understand something.
Stealing the pearl, that's the easy part.
But getting away, between the rebels and the army-- Let me handle that.
Is it a deal? Partners? Are you crazy? Bringing that woman here.
She's.
She's dangerous.
She will take your soul and throw it away.
You're nuts, lady.
You're the one that's dangerous.
I'm trying to protect you.
Hey, I live here, assholes.
What the fuck is going on here? -The rebels took the capital.
-Shit.
Army still holds on to the airport but they want everyone to leave tonight.
Army is running a convoy to the airport.
-Bad news, I'm afraid, Red.
-I know.
Katrine just told me.
Well, the army will regain control, but in the meantime I want you to do me a favor.
Take care of Katrine for me.
Go with her on the convoy tonight.
Sure.
But what about you? Aren't you going? I'm too old and too sick to run.
What are you going to do? Just wait for the rebels to come get you? I may not go as quietly as you think.
But don't worry about me, eh? Look after Katrine.
Go now.
Now, where were we, then? -They're gone now.
-What took them so fucking long? Come on.
Let's get this over with.
Red, the pearl, it's gone.
-What? -It's gone! -When did this happen? -I don't know.
I was packing.
If you're fucking me.
Red, we're partners, remember? I'll get to the bottom of this.
Shit! Packing cash.
Strange thing for a guy to do who's about to meet his maker.
Is the gun really necessary? I want the pearl.
Don't you think that you're being just a little selfish, eh? -lsn't Katrine enough? -Katrine? Well, I am giving her to you.
Now, the pearl may be worth money but a beautiful woman.
I don't think the lady is yours to give.
But the pearl.
I cannot tell you how much you disappoint me.
I thought we could've been friends.
Now I swear to you.
I swear to you that even if I wanted to give you the pearl I cannot right at the moment put my hands on it.
I'm not an idiot, Duval.
You've got it here and it doesn't make sense that you'd be sitting around waiting for the rebels to show up.
Maybe you are.
Christ! You know goddamn well that army convoy isn't gonna make it.
That's not true.
And now you insult me.
I want you to get away.
Excuse me.
Just give me the fucking pearl! I told you, I cannot lay my hands on it.
You're full of shit, Duval.
-Did you get the pearl? -Yeah, baby.
I got the pearl.
It's gotta be here.
-What if it's not? -It's gotta be here! Come on.
Come on.
Balloons.
What the hell are you doing with balloons? You smart motherfucker! What are you talking about? Duval said he couldn't get to the pearl right away 'cause this is where it is.
The son of a bitch swallowed it.
Worm tracks.
Red, what are you going to do? Those things, they spread through contact.
What do you think I'm going to do? You think I've come this far to let a bunch of fucking worms stop me? Come on.
Come on.
Yes.
Put down the pearl, please.
-I hope I'm not taking this the wrong way.
-No, I don't think so.
Katrine, listen to me.
Between the cash and the pearl-- Plenty for the both of us.
Or just more for me.
I don't want the pearl, Red.
If I had, I could have taken it anytime.
I want to get you out of here.
You can't do it without me.
Don't stop.
They'll be after us.
Hey, I don't understand why you're doing this.
You don't understand why I don't want that pearl.
And I don't understand why you do.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? It's worth a lot of money.
And what's that worth? Come on, lady.
Look, now that you have it, are you happy? Fucking delirious.
-I owe you, Peligre.
-Perhaps.
I just wanted to get you out in one piece.
Hey, I want you to know something.
This pearl, it isn't just money.
I know a lot of people who've wanted it.
And none of them had the balls to get it.
Or the brains.
This pearl means respect.
You know, Red, if I had red hair like yours I could have respect, too.
-I don't think red hair would work for you.
-Oh, I do.
Hey, wait a minute.
What are those lights down there? -Where the hell are we? -My village.
Oh.
You know, they say the spirit lives in the head.
Your head must have a very special spirit in it.
What? Talk about being headed off at the pass.
We've got a guest, kiddies.
Whoopi, it's a pleasure to meet you.
I want you to know that I loved your movie The Killer Purple.
That's Color Purple, Crypt Keeper.
Oh.
Right.
Well.
Congratulations on winning that Academy A-weird.
Well, thanks, but it's actually called an Academy Award.
Whatever.
Look, it's a pleasure to meet a big star like you.
You're a pretty big star.
I mean, I'd love it if you'd be in my next film.
-Really? -Yeah.
It's just a bit part.
I'm flattered.
But you don't know what bit I want.
Well, as long as I don't wind up on the cutting room floor.
Okay! English