That's So Raven (2003) s03e06 Episode Script
Sweeps
1 Welcome, everybody.
And I want to thank you all for signing up to help us with our community theater play.
And I also wanted to say that I am very honored that you had the confidence to choose moi to be your producer.
That's 'cause no one else wanted the job.
I know that's right.
Now let's give it up for our director, Miss Tonya Baxter.
Thanks.
I am a mom But I've always wanted to direct.
And this play is an original, written by an original, Miss Chelsea Daniels.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The play is called, the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London.
Sounds like a million laughs, Chelsea.
Thank you.
And I just want to thank the entire cast and crew, and say that this is going to be the best play that our community theater has ever done! Rae, get into the spirit! Where's your "Whoo"? Yep, that's me.
You're low.
You're weary.
You're exhausted.
Your spirits are broken.
Lots of energy, now! And Action! All right, you lazy layabouts, get your bloomin' brooms movin'! There are more chimneys to be swept.
More, Mr.
Ashburn? You're already worked us to the bone.
Please, sir, I've come down with a case of the sniffles.
And it's starting to snow.
It's starting to snow! Cue the snow! Victor! Cuing the snow! You're silent Murph! I need someone to talk to.
So, listen, I get these, these feelings.
Well, they're kinda hard to explain.
But I had a feeling that this play was gonna get booed off the stage.
I i just don't know why.
Look! It's the wealthy widow Mrs.
Haypenny.
Her house has many a chimney to sweep.
I said Many a chimney to sweep! Victor, cue the chimney! Cuing the chimney! Mr.
Ashburn! Fancy meeting you here on my rooftop.
Fancy, indeed.
The night's blow so cold in my large but lonely house.
Perhaps a good sweeping's what my chimney needs.
Consider 'em swept.
All right, sweeps, let's get to work.
And remember what I always say Grime Is money.
"Grime is money"?! It's definitely the writing.
Excuse me, people.
Can I make some suggestions? Rae, what's the problem? See yeah.
We're off to a fun start.
And it's working out great.
And not to criticize anybody in particular "Grime is money"? That's my favorite line, Rae.
I can see that, Chels.
You put it in the script about 72 times.
See, we need to find something to do to the script so that the audience Won't start booing the play and walking out.
Why would they do that? I don't know, really.
But if we fix something in the script, maybe they won't.
So you want to change my script, then? No, no, no.
Now, no, no, no, no.
Not change it maybe give it a little Tweaky-tweaky.
Fine, Rae.
Tweaky-tweaky yourself silly! Hit it! Grab your brushes and your rags turn your collars to the cold there's lots of money to be made where you see ash, I see gold if you've got to sweep, you've got to sweep until you've grown yes you've got to work your fingers to the bone yes, we've got to work our fingers to the bone yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Ok, now, this is wack! Yeah, I second that wack! What? You guys don't like my changes? Well, let's start with the title, Rae.
What was wrong with the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London? Well, for one thing, Chels, the title was longer than the play.
That's why I changed it to sweeps.
Ok, well, I don't think it was necessary to add songs.
Chels Come on, dude.
Nobody boos a musical.
Dang! They're still booing and walking out! It's gotta be the acting.
Ok, everybody, come over here, please.
Please come over here, everybody.
Let me talk to you for a second.
All right.
Thank you.
I'm just not feeling it.
All right? Where's the pain? Ok? Where is the rage?! Trust me, Rae, the rage is coming.
Sweetie, maybe they were a little off because the chimney cue was late.
Rae, relax.
I'm still trying to learn the ropes.
Get it? The ropes.
'Cause there's only 3 of them.
This is no joking matter! Can i Can I talk to you? Yes, mom.
Rae I'm the director.
The director That could be it.
That could be what? What what? What? What? What? What what? What I'm trying to say is, as the director, all of these changes need to come through me.
Mom, I'm not trying to direct the play.
I'm just, you know, trying to Tell everybody what to do, what to say, and how to say it.
Yes, but, honey, the play is my vision.
Your vision.
Well, my vision says that your vision ain't so good.
What? What what? Ok, people people, please, come around again.
We had a very good day.
All right? But it could be better.
All right? So I want you to go home, study your lines, learn your songs, and come back tomorrow refreshed and ready to go.
Hands in! Hands in, people.
Come on.
Ready? Goooo sweeps! Go sweeps.
That's more like it! Ok, all right, settle down everyone.
Settle down.
She got to go! I was asked to call this meeting because some of you have expressed concerns about the way the show is going.
If anyone would like to discuss this matter in a calm and mature manner.
Ok, ok, ok, one at a time! Chels.
Thank you.
I had a dream.
A dream called the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London.
But that dream has been turned into a nightmare by Raven.
This is awkward.
Hey Are you guys having a meeting? No, no No.
Why would we be having a meeting? I mean, that's so crazy that you would even think that we would have that Here.
Then why does it say "cast and crew meeting"? Who put that there?! It's crazy! Are you guys talking about me? No.
No.
No.
No.
Why would we even be talking Then why does it say "discuss the Raven problem"? That's just the name of next year's play.
Right! Exactly.
It's all about you.
Right.
We forgot to tell you.
Ok.
Honey, let's just get this out in the open.
You're drivin' us nuts.
What Cory means is you've been stepping on some toes.
More like Stomping! Cory! Ok, everybody, listen up.
See, I didn't want to do this 'cause I didn't want to freak you out, but I've been having some very strong feelings.
Yeah, right, yeah, ok.
And, yeah, it's telling me that the audience is gonna hate the play.
Well well did you happen to Feel why they hated it, Rae? No.
And you know what? I've been trying to figure that out.
Yeah, well, you know, maybe it's all those songs you put in.
Yeah, I doubt that.
Or those cheesy dance numbers.
Well, William, I don't really think they'd be that cheesy if someone had some rhythm.
No, you didn't.
Ok, it doesn't even matter.
Listen, people.
I had another feeling.
All right? And because of the changes that I made, the audience is gonna love the play.
Wait.
Hold up.
Hold up.
You mean to tell me that if you didn't come in, take over, and do everybody's job, that we would be laying flat on our faces right now? Yep.
You got it.
I think I got it, Rae.
Looks to me like you don't want anybody around here.
I'm outta here.
Me, too.
Me, too.
What? Wait, you guys.
Come on! Don't go, you guys.
Don't even worry about it, all right? I fixed it.
Rae! It wasn't broken.
Look here.
Mon and dad.
Thanks for not leaving me.
Honey, we couldn't leave.
We live here.
But we are quitting the play.
What?! Creative differences.
Nothing personal.
Honey, we love you.
Just can't work for ya.
Ok, listen up, people.
It's opening night.
All right, we worked hard for this, now let's go out there and give it everything we've got! Who am I kidding, Murph? It's just you and me.
I couldn't get anyone to do the show, and I was just too stubborn to admit it.
I guess my feeling was wrong.
The show's not going on.
What did you say?! Oh, snap! What did you say?! I've never heard you talk before.
Well, that's because no one's ever cancelled a show before.
Not once in 37 years.
37 years? Young lady, we have a proud tradition here.
The one thing this community can count on every year is this show.
Do you want to go down as the one who destroyed that? Who let this entire community down? Who ruined 37 years of tradition? Dang, Murph, when you start talkin', you be trippin'.
You bet I'm trippin'.
I hear you, Murph.
You know, I guess I got a show to do! Now that's the spirit.
You go out there and give this community the best darn show they've ever seen! I will, Murph.
Thanks! This should be interesting.
So, you guys decided to come and support Raven.
Actually, I just came to see who's playing my part.
There's a rumor going around that it's Denzel.
Yeah, there's another rumor that it's not.
All right, you lazy sweepies, there's work to be done! This is definitely not Denzel.
There are chimneys out there, and you get to clean them.
Isn't that right, me sweepies? Yes, Mr.
Ashburn, sir.
I can't hear you! When did this become a one-woman show? I guess when only one woman showed up.
Where is me main sweep, young dusty Dudley? And take your time before you answer, please.
Sorry I'm late, sir, but do we have to work now? It's starting to snow.
At least in a minute it will.
I can i can feel it in me bones.
I can feel 'ello.
The snow, it will chill us to the bone as sure as me name is Smithers.
Enough! To Mrs.
Haypenny's chimney! Yeah.
It's a beautiful chimney! Well worth waiting for! Maybe not.
That shouldn't keep you lazy sweeps from doing your job! Grab your brushes and your rags turn your collars to the cold there's lots of money to be made where you see ash, I see gold you've got to sweep, you've got to sweep until you're grown yes you've got to work your fingers to the bone yes, we've got to work our fingers to the bone yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Oh, snap! Yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Man, she's dying up there.
I know.
It's so horrible But I can't look away.
The widowed and wealthy Mrs.
Haypenny is on her way.
Give my girl her props, yo.
She never gives up.
Please don't make them work so hard they should be out there in the yard they're only children, after all but they play with brooms instead of balls People People, please don't go! Don't you want to see what happens to the children? Stay for the children! I'm sorry, ok? I ruined 35 years of tradition.
You burnt me, Murph.
Look, everyone, I'm sorry.
Ok? I tried to make a great show, but I made it worse.
Way, way worse.
Sweep, sweep we brush the grime and soot away sweep, sweep it's what we earn instead of pay weep, weep we cry ourselves to sleep at night and dream of waking at first light to once again with all our might sweep, sweep Mom, you guys came! Well, we figured you suffered enough.
We know the audience did.
We just thought if the show's going down, we're all going with it.
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry.
It was my visions that messed me up.
I became obsessed.
I just wanted to save the show.
Honey, I know it's tough trying to figure out your visions, but sometimes you just have to let things happen the way they're meant to happen.
Well, how do you know which times? I wish I knew.
It isn't easy, honey, but I know your heart is in the right place.
Ok.
Thanks.
Sounds like they like it.
Mom, and they're really gonna love this next part.
It's where all the sweeps dance around the chimney.
That's that's me! That's me! Sweep, sweep we struggle through this endless night sweep, sweep to once again with all our might sweep, sweep sweep your life was very harried now it's better 'cause we're married you'll all stay here with me we'll be a happy family no longer will we weep we'll never have to sweep anybody's chimney again 38 years.
38 years! All right!
And I want to thank you all for signing up to help us with our community theater play.
And I also wanted to say that I am very honored that you had the confidence to choose moi to be your producer.
That's 'cause no one else wanted the job.
I know that's right.
Now let's give it up for our director, Miss Tonya Baxter.
Thanks.
I am a mom But I've always wanted to direct.
And this play is an original, written by an original, Miss Chelsea Daniels.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The play is called, the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London.
Sounds like a million laughs, Chelsea.
Thank you.
And I just want to thank the entire cast and crew, and say that this is going to be the best play that our community theater has ever done! Rae, get into the spirit! Where's your "Whoo"? Yep, that's me.
You're low.
You're weary.
You're exhausted.
Your spirits are broken.
Lots of energy, now! And Action! All right, you lazy layabouts, get your bloomin' brooms movin'! There are more chimneys to be swept.
More, Mr.
Ashburn? You're already worked us to the bone.
Please, sir, I've come down with a case of the sniffles.
And it's starting to snow.
It's starting to snow! Cue the snow! Victor! Cuing the snow! You're silent Murph! I need someone to talk to.
So, listen, I get these, these feelings.
Well, they're kinda hard to explain.
But I had a feeling that this play was gonna get booed off the stage.
I i just don't know why.
Look! It's the wealthy widow Mrs.
Haypenny.
Her house has many a chimney to sweep.
I said Many a chimney to sweep! Victor, cue the chimney! Cuing the chimney! Mr.
Ashburn! Fancy meeting you here on my rooftop.
Fancy, indeed.
The night's blow so cold in my large but lonely house.
Perhaps a good sweeping's what my chimney needs.
Consider 'em swept.
All right, sweeps, let's get to work.
And remember what I always say Grime Is money.
"Grime is money"?! It's definitely the writing.
Excuse me, people.
Can I make some suggestions? Rae, what's the problem? See yeah.
We're off to a fun start.
And it's working out great.
And not to criticize anybody in particular "Grime is money"? That's my favorite line, Rae.
I can see that, Chels.
You put it in the script about 72 times.
See, we need to find something to do to the script so that the audience Won't start booing the play and walking out.
Why would they do that? I don't know, really.
But if we fix something in the script, maybe they won't.
So you want to change my script, then? No, no, no.
Now, no, no, no, no.
Not change it maybe give it a little Tweaky-tweaky.
Fine, Rae.
Tweaky-tweaky yourself silly! Hit it! Grab your brushes and your rags turn your collars to the cold there's lots of money to be made where you see ash, I see gold if you've got to sweep, you've got to sweep until you've grown yes you've got to work your fingers to the bone yes, we've got to work our fingers to the bone yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Ok, now, this is wack! Yeah, I second that wack! What? You guys don't like my changes? Well, let's start with the title, Rae.
What was wrong with the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London? Well, for one thing, Chels, the title was longer than the play.
That's why I changed it to sweeps.
Ok, well, I don't think it was necessary to add songs.
Chels Come on, dude.
Nobody boos a musical.
Dang! They're still booing and walking out! It's gotta be the acting.
Ok, everybody, come over here, please.
Please come over here, everybody.
Let me talk to you for a second.
All right.
Thank you.
I'm just not feeling it.
All right? Where's the pain? Ok? Where is the rage?! Trust me, Rae, the rage is coming.
Sweetie, maybe they were a little off because the chimney cue was late.
Rae, relax.
I'm still trying to learn the ropes.
Get it? The ropes.
'Cause there's only 3 of them.
This is no joking matter! Can i Can I talk to you? Yes, mom.
Rae I'm the director.
The director That could be it.
That could be what? What what? What? What? What? What what? What I'm trying to say is, as the director, all of these changes need to come through me.
Mom, I'm not trying to direct the play.
I'm just, you know, trying to Tell everybody what to do, what to say, and how to say it.
Yes, but, honey, the play is my vision.
Your vision.
Well, my vision says that your vision ain't so good.
What? What what? Ok, people people, please, come around again.
We had a very good day.
All right? But it could be better.
All right? So I want you to go home, study your lines, learn your songs, and come back tomorrow refreshed and ready to go.
Hands in! Hands in, people.
Come on.
Ready? Goooo sweeps! Go sweeps.
That's more like it! Ok, all right, settle down everyone.
Settle down.
She got to go! I was asked to call this meeting because some of you have expressed concerns about the way the show is going.
If anyone would like to discuss this matter in a calm and mature manner.
Ok, ok, ok, one at a time! Chels.
Thank you.
I had a dream.
A dream called the pitiful, joyless life of the urchin chimney sweep children of London.
But that dream has been turned into a nightmare by Raven.
This is awkward.
Hey Are you guys having a meeting? No, no No.
Why would we be having a meeting? I mean, that's so crazy that you would even think that we would have that Here.
Then why does it say "cast and crew meeting"? Who put that there?! It's crazy! Are you guys talking about me? No.
No.
No.
No.
Why would we even be talking Then why does it say "discuss the Raven problem"? That's just the name of next year's play.
Right! Exactly.
It's all about you.
Right.
We forgot to tell you.
Ok.
Honey, let's just get this out in the open.
You're drivin' us nuts.
What Cory means is you've been stepping on some toes.
More like Stomping! Cory! Ok, everybody, listen up.
See, I didn't want to do this 'cause I didn't want to freak you out, but I've been having some very strong feelings.
Yeah, right, yeah, ok.
And, yeah, it's telling me that the audience is gonna hate the play.
Well well did you happen to Feel why they hated it, Rae? No.
And you know what? I've been trying to figure that out.
Yeah, well, you know, maybe it's all those songs you put in.
Yeah, I doubt that.
Or those cheesy dance numbers.
Well, William, I don't really think they'd be that cheesy if someone had some rhythm.
No, you didn't.
Ok, it doesn't even matter.
Listen, people.
I had another feeling.
All right? And because of the changes that I made, the audience is gonna love the play.
Wait.
Hold up.
Hold up.
You mean to tell me that if you didn't come in, take over, and do everybody's job, that we would be laying flat on our faces right now? Yep.
You got it.
I think I got it, Rae.
Looks to me like you don't want anybody around here.
I'm outta here.
Me, too.
Me, too.
What? Wait, you guys.
Come on! Don't go, you guys.
Don't even worry about it, all right? I fixed it.
Rae! It wasn't broken.
Look here.
Mon and dad.
Thanks for not leaving me.
Honey, we couldn't leave.
We live here.
But we are quitting the play.
What?! Creative differences.
Nothing personal.
Honey, we love you.
Just can't work for ya.
Ok, listen up, people.
It's opening night.
All right, we worked hard for this, now let's go out there and give it everything we've got! Who am I kidding, Murph? It's just you and me.
I couldn't get anyone to do the show, and I was just too stubborn to admit it.
I guess my feeling was wrong.
The show's not going on.
What did you say?! Oh, snap! What did you say?! I've never heard you talk before.
Well, that's because no one's ever cancelled a show before.
Not once in 37 years.
37 years? Young lady, we have a proud tradition here.
The one thing this community can count on every year is this show.
Do you want to go down as the one who destroyed that? Who let this entire community down? Who ruined 37 years of tradition? Dang, Murph, when you start talkin', you be trippin'.
You bet I'm trippin'.
I hear you, Murph.
You know, I guess I got a show to do! Now that's the spirit.
You go out there and give this community the best darn show they've ever seen! I will, Murph.
Thanks! This should be interesting.
So, you guys decided to come and support Raven.
Actually, I just came to see who's playing my part.
There's a rumor going around that it's Denzel.
Yeah, there's another rumor that it's not.
All right, you lazy sweepies, there's work to be done! This is definitely not Denzel.
There are chimneys out there, and you get to clean them.
Isn't that right, me sweepies? Yes, Mr.
Ashburn, sir.
I can't hear you! When did this become a one-woman show? I guess when only one woman showed up.
Where is me main sweep, young dusty Dudley? And take your time before you answer, please.
Sorry I'm late, sir, but do we have to work now? It's starting to snow.
At least in a minute it will.
I can i can feel it in me bones.
I can feel 'ello.
The snow, it will chill us to the bone as sure as me name is Smithers.
Enough! To Mrs.
Haypenny's chimney! Yeah.
It's a beautiful chimney! Well worth waiting for! Maybe not.
That shouldn't keep you lazy sweeps from doing your job! Grab your brushes and your rags turn your collars to the cold there's lots of money to be made where you see ash, I see gold you've got to sweep, you've got to sweep until you're grown yes you've got to work your fingers to the bone yes, we've got to work our fingers to the bone yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Oh, snap! Yes, you've absolutely, positively got to work your fingers to the bone Man, she's dying up there.
I know.
It's so horrible But I can't look away.
The widowed and wealthy Mrs.
Haypenny is on her way.
Give my girl her props, yo.
She never gives up.
Please don't make them work so hard they should be out there in the yard they're only children, after all but they play with brooms instead of balls People People, please don't go! Don't you want to see what happens to the children? Stay for the children! I'm sorry, ok? I ruined 35 years of tradition.
You burnt me, Murph.
Look, everyone, I'm sorry.
Ok? I tried to make a great show, but I made it worse.
Way, way worse.
Sweep, sweep we brush the grime and soot away sweep, sweep it's what we earn instead of pay weep, weep we cry ourselves to sleep at night and dream of waking at first light to once again with all our might sweep, sweep Mom, you guys came! Well, we figured you suffered enough.
We know the audience did.
We just thought if the show's going down, we're all going with it.
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry.
It was my visions that messed me up.
I became obsessed.
I just wanted to save the show.
Honey, I know it's tough trying to figure out your visions, but sometimes you just have to let things happen the way they're meant to happen.
Well, how do you know which times? I wish I knew.
It isn't easy, honey, but I know your heart is in the right place.
Ok.
Thanks.
Sounds like they like it.
Mom, and they're really gonna love this next part.
It's where all the sweeps dance around the chimney.
That's that's me! That's me! Sweep, sweep we struggle through this endless night sweep, sweep to once again with all our might sweep, sweep sweep your life was very harried now it's better 'cause we're married you'll all stay here with me we'll be a happy family no longer will we weep we'll never have to sweep anybody's chimney again 38 years.
38 years! All right!