The Batman (2004) s03e06 Episode Script
Brawn
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Man-Mountain Malloy, the strongest man in Gotham City! Ho hum.
You know all clowns are evil, don't you? Ooh, tough guy.
Especially that clown.
If you think he's buff, folks, get a load of me.
Hide your families, Gotham, 'cause when Joker goes jumbo, he'll snap your twigs! Whoa, big.
Batgirl? You're way dinkier than I expected.
Oof! Being a criminal genius just doesn't cut it these days.
You need brawn to complement the brains.
I think I better join a gym.
Now we know who stole Bane's power infusion module from Gotham P.
D.
's evidence lockup.
The crazy crime-clown running amuck with the strength of Bane.
But what did he steal at a circus? The box office.
That seems rather small potatoes for a giant Joker.
The entire box office.
No doubt a warm-up for a bigger workout.
I need to bulk up.
I can't let the Batman have a weakling for backup.
Ninety-nine.
One hundred.
Twenty thousand more reps and I'll have Iron Pumping Muscles of Steel.
Barb, are you ready for school? Uh, did I mention I'm taking a new elective, Pop? Competitive bodybuilding.
That's my girl.
Thank you all for joining us this morning.
To symbolize Gotham City's prominent place in the global community, we unveil our new landmark.
The Gotham Globe! Gold-plated! As valuable as it is heavy, I bet.
Don't bother wrapping it.
I'll take this little bauble as is.
Today, Gotham.
Tomorrow, the world.
Bye, sweetie.
Be good.
Define "good.
" Gordon.
Joker walked away with it? I'm on my way.
You go, Pop.
Round 2 with Joker.
Pull it together, Barb, the Bat needs you.
Thanks, Alfred.
Early start, haven't had my coffee.
But Joker's already had his protein shake.
Huh? Put down the globe.
It's all yours, officer.
Have a ball.
Hey, I got a fab new figure.
And you got a fab new Batmobile.
Show-and-tell's over, Joker.
Ooh! Um, ouch.
You only have yourself to blame for me, Batsy.
We've always taken turns outsmarting each other, but you had the muscle.
So I thought I'd stack the odds in my favor.
Back for more, tiny? Um, bring it on? Well, Jim, Batgirl didn't score very high in that round.
Let's see if Joker can top her in the discus throw.
Oh.
Joker takes the gold.
you hit clown-boy high, I hit him low.
He's out of your league.
I've been working out, you know.
For your own safety, stay back.
Hey! Who's up for dodge ball? Up here if you need me.
Welcome to my world, Bats.
And Planet Joker is a world of hurt.
Heads up! Look out! Bye! Phew.
Need me yet? Sir? I'll need more backup.
Prepare for special delivery.
Batman.
Not good.
Next up, Jim, we have a new sporting event.
The Batmobile toss! Where do you think you're going? I'm not through with you, weakling.
If Batman can't beat super clown, how can I? Whoa.
A Bat-robot? Or a muscle suit? I won't ask again, Batsy.
Hand over your milk money.
Oh, Batgirl, you stepped up to heavyweight class.
Here goes nothing.
Yes.
How many rounds can you go with Sugar Ray Joker? Let's find out.
Uh-oh.
Retro thrusters? Whoa! You're a klutz, tiny.
Okay, where's the tutorial on this thing? She didn't.
His weak spot.
Whoopsie! Priceless! With shtick like that, Batgal, you may have a future in comedy.
Which is more than I can say for the Batman.
I predict he doesn't have a future at all.
Ta-ta, tiny! Great.
I can't get up.
And I can't eject.
I had to land on the escape hatch.
Batman needs my help.
Think, Barbara.
Think outside the box.
Glad I took gymnastics.
I'll get the hang of this muscle suit.
At least it's gonna lead me straight to Batman.
Wakey-wakey, Batsy-watsy.
Can't let you sleep through your own demise, you know.
Hope you like carnival games.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Get the picture? With you gone, Batsy, there'll be no one to stop me from kicking sand in Gotham's face.
You forget about Batgirl.
That pip-squeak? If she stands in my way, I'll just scrape her off my shoe.
Now, time to ring your bell.
"Mama's boy"? Just warming up.
Okay, now I'm pumped.
Huh? You're going down, clown.
You again? Good girl.
Huh? Whoa, cheap shot.
Oh, no.
Batman? Huh? Batarangs? Uh, tried that, didn't hurt him.
Wait.
Batman's aiming for Joker's fuel pump.
He's using brain to beat brawn.
Sorry, Batsy.
But only the strong survive.
Pardon me, but a tin can is just begging to be opened.
I'm tiny, Joker.
You can't reach me.
No! I'm still bigger than you.
But not me, bully.
Look what I found.
Smart move there.
Muscles aren't everything.
Sometimes brains are better than brawn.
And sometimes being tiny can be a strength.
You know all clowns are evil, don't you? Ooh, tough guy.
Especially that clown.
If you think he's buff, folks, get a load of me.
Hide your families, Gotham, 'cause when Joker goes jumbo, he'll snap your twigs! Whoa, big.
Batgirl? You're way dinkier than I expected.
Oof! Being a criminal genius just doesn't cut it these days.
You need brawn to complement the brains.
I think I better join a gym.
Now we know who stole Bane's power infusion module from Gotham P.
D.
's evidence lockup.
The crazy crime-clown running amuck with the strength of Bane.
But what did he steal at a circus? The box office.
That seems rather small potatoes for a giant Joker.
The entire box office.
No doubt a warm-up for a bigger workout.
I need to bulk up.
I can't let the Batman have a weakling for backup.
Ninety-nine.
One hundred.
Twenty thousand more reps and I'll have Iron Pumping Muscles of Steel.
Barb, are you ready for school? Uh, did I mention I'm taking a new elective, Pop? Competitive bodybuilding.
That's my girl.
Thank you all for joining us this morning.
To symbolize Gotham City's prominent place in the global community, we unveil our new landmark.
The Gotham Globe! Gold-plated! As valuable as it is heavy, I bet.
Don't bother wrapping it.
I'll take this little bauble as is.
Today, Gotham.
Tomorrow, the world.
Bye, sweetie.
Be good.
Define "good.
" Gordon.
Joker walked away with it? I'm on my way.
You go, Pop.
Round 2 with Joker.
Pull it together, Barb, the Bat needs you.
Thanks, Alfred.
Early start, haven't had my coffee.
But Joker's already had his protein shake.
Huh? Put down the globe.
It's all yours, officer.
Have a ball.
Hey, I got a fab new figure.
And you got a fab new Batmobile.
Show-and-tell's over, Joker.
Ooh! Um, ouch.
You only have yourself to blame for me, Batsy.
We've always taken turns outsmarting each other, but you had the muscle.
So I thought I'd stack the odds in my favor.
Back for more, tiny? Um, bring it on? Well, Jim, Batgirl didn't score very high in that round.
Let's see if Joker can top her in the discus throw.
Oh.
Joker takes the gold.
you hit clown-boy high, I hit him low.
He's out of your league.
I've been working out, you know.
For your own safety, stay back.
Hey! Who's up for dodge ball? Up here if you need me.
Welcome to my world, Bats.
And Planet Joker is a world of hurt.
Heads up! Look out! Bye! Phew.
Need me yet? Sir? I'll need more backup.
Prepare for special delivery.
Batman.
Not good.
Next up, Jim, we have a new sporting event.
The Batmobile toss! Where do you think you're going? I'm not through with you, weakling.
If Batman can't beat super clown, how can I? Whoa.
A Bat-robot? Or a muscle suit? I won't ask again, Batsy.
Hand over your milk money.
Oh, Batgirl, you stepped up to heavyweight class.
Here goes nothing.
Yes.
How many rounds can you go with Sugar Ray Joker? Let's find out.
Uh-oh.
Retro thrusters? Whoa! You're a klutz, tiny.
Okay, where's the tutorial on this thing? She didn't.
His weak spot.
Whoopsie! Priceless! With shtick like that, Batgal, you may have a future in comedy.
Which is more than I can say for the Batman.
I predict he doesn't have a future at all.
Ta-ta, tiny! Great.
I can't get up.
And I can't eject.
I had to land on the escape hatch.
Batman needs my help.
Think, Barbara.
Think outside the box.
Glad I took gymnastics.
I'll get the hang of this muscle suit.
At least it's gonna lead me straight to Batman.
Wakey-wakey, Batsy-watsy.
Can't let you sleep through your own demise, you know.
Hope you like carnival games.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Get the picture? With you gone, Batsy, there'll be no one to stop me from kicking sand in Gotham's face.
You forget about Batgirl.
That pip-squeak? If she stands in my way, I'll just scrape her off my shoe.
Now, time to ring your bell.
"Mama's boy"? Just warming up.
Okay, now I'm pumped.
Huh? You're going down, clown.
You again? Good girl.
Huh? Whoa, cheap shot.
Oh, no.
Batman? Huh? Batarangs? Uh, tried that, didn't hurt him.
Wait.
Batman's aiming for Joker's fuel pump.
He's using brain to beat brawn.
Sorry, Batsy.
But only the strong survive.
Pardon me, but a tin can is just begging to be opened.
I'm tiny, Joker.
You can't reach me.
No! I'm still bigger than you.
But not me, bully.
Look what I found.
Smart move there.
Muscles aren't everything.
Sometimes brains are better than brawn.
And sometimes being tiny can be a strength.