The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s03e06 Episode Script

1 Yeah! This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the red swimsuit and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the green swimsuit and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now, because they're about to go swimming in Lake Summer Camp.
- Or are they? - Lake's closed! We've got a score to settle with those mega-mansion millionaires at Camp Upper Crust.
You mean the rich camp with the rich kids and the nice stuff? That's the one! And they've challenged us to a regatta race.
- What's a regatta race? - Well, it's No idea.
What I do know is we're going to win.
And we're going to show those richies they're not better than us just because they have the best cars, and counterfeit artwork, and overpriced mushrooms, and they're better than us.
-What? -So I'm giving the camp that beats those caviar cowboys exclusive use of the lake.
The other camp spends the rest of the summer bone dry! Because it's Camp Lake Summer Camp versus Lake Summer Camp Camp for Lake Summer Camp in a campers' "campetition"! -All I heard was "camp.
" -Follow-up question.
-What's a regatta race? -It's, like, a sailing race.
I love sailing.
It's the "har" of the sea.
How are we gonna win a boat race? We don't have any boats.
Easy.
Um, are we waiting for the theme song, or-- So George and Harold Make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.
Krupp is, too Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget when he gets wet You're sure to feel the squeeze! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! The Savage Spite of the Slimy Salamangler.
Chapter One: Call of the Child.
What was Krupp's plan? An essay competition in Free Boats magazine.
First prize: free boats! "Honestly, I don't want a boat, but I was told to write this by--" "Mr.
Krupp"? Useless! Start o-over! --"Mr.
Krupp is a danger to us.
-Please send--" -"A rhino capture squad"? I'm not a rhino, I'm a ma-- Ah! Write about boa-- Hey! -Boooats! The boys were over it.
If Krupp was gonna ruin their summer, they were gonna ruin his right back.
T-minus 20 seconds.
Why do you know Krupp eats lunch at the same time every day? Know your enemy, keep your socks dry and pee before the movie.
Rules to live by.
And there he goes.
A salamander's gonna get the job done? Tested well with the focus group.
Mm, and how many of you were grossed out by the salamander? Rub-a-dub-dub, get in my mouth.
Huh? Ah! Sandwich salamander! Ah! Salamandwicher! Oh, no! Ah! It's trying to steal my soul through my mouth! Get it off! So much better than I expected.
-Are you getting this? -Oh, yeah.
This is Krupp gold.
Oh, sigh.
Get it off! Ah! Get it off! What? No! I'm sure he survived.
I- I mean, he's a salamander.
Yeah.
We should make it up to him.
-Oh, how about a parade? -Great idea, but we need a permit.
Seventy-five bucks? -How about a tribute comic instead? -It's the thought that counts.
"Please bring oversized packages to window.
" We can beat that.
"Please bring deep rage to kiss window.
" That should start some conversations.
Chapter Two: Captain Underpants and the Slimy Salamangler! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
So, once there was a mean lady with a bad wig that everybody knew was a wig.
And she was flush-happy.
Instead of throwing stuff away, she flushed it down her toilet like it was a magic portal-- leftovers, goulash, old rugs, berbash, and her plumber Rodney, who had a short fuse-- Zazash! One time, she flushed a salamander.
Amphibloosh! But her toilet was a magic portal.
Yes way! And it turned the salamander into Salamangler, a salamander monster with an even shorter fuse than Rodney's.
Possible? Yes! 'Ah!' Anyway, Salamangler tracked down the lady and scared her so bad, she put her house on the market, though it was a bad time.
But Salamangler wanted revenge on all the people who'd ever called him disgusting or yucky or, like, not management material.
So he started going downtown on downtown! Boosh-boosh-boosh! Luckily, Captain Underpants was on the corner selling gyros 'cause his buddy Dimitri asked him to watch his gyro cart while he was on jury duty.
Captain Underpants was all, 'Get your jy-roes here,' 'cause he couldn't pronounce 'gyros' to save his life.
'Jy-roes!' And kerslank! A van, boom, landed on the cart, and Captain Underpants was all, 'Tra-la-lamb! Dimitri's gonna flip!' And then Salamangler tail-slapped Captain Underpants through the bank.
Clinkle-clinkle coins! After Captain Underpants was denied a loan to pay for Dimitri's cart, he made a Skivvy Snare and lassoed Salamangler's tail.
Kerpap-whap! But the tail pulled off and Salamangler grew a new one 'cause that's how salamanders roll.
Wow.
And Captain Underpants was all like, 'You've got tail game!' And Salamangler was touched 'cause it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.
So he stopped tearing down buildings and started tearing down walls between humans and salamanders by starting SAPI, the Salamander Awareness Program Institute.
Okay, the end.
I don't get it.
How do you make money giving away boats? -Volume? -What in the huckleberry pie is going on? Why don't I hear keys clickity-clacking? We're not writing another word until we get a brain break.
Fine.
Five minutes.
But no lake! Ah! This is the lake life.
-How's our video doing? -Great.
It's our most popular Krupp fails video yet.
Krupp fail! I said "no lake," not "yes lake.
" Out of the water and back on the letter buttons now-- Oh! Ah! Hey! Who left this here? Ah! Deep-sea ghost diver! That was my air supply, you land whale! Well, why don't you just breathe water like dolphins? -And what are you even doing down there? -I read the Lake Truther website.
Lake Truther, because all lakes have secrets.
And it says there's an old top-secret naval base under this lake, and it's likely full of classic, collectible technology, including the first nuclear submarine prototype, Atomic Ava! Here's Sailor Saul with flowers for his best gal, Atomic Ava.
But don't kiss her, fella, 'cause this little lady runs on uranium and she'll melt your face off.
Unless that sub has a PhD in boat essays, your diving days are done.
Your essay is the best shot for me to win my free boat! No, the Atomic Ava is your best chance.
And I'm going to find it.
That's ridiculous! If you won't come out, I'll come in and get you.
Just let me take off my shoes.
Come on.
Okay, there's one.
I had a lot of salt for lunch.
There.
And my socks.
Warmed up, cooled down, and it's been 20 minutes since second breakfast.
Just need my swim cap-- Ow! He's the not-so-little mermaid.
Okay, shark in the water, Sneedly! I can't swim! Ah! Ghost yacht! Whoa! Sweet boat! -Yeah, Jack Yacht! -Nailed it, buddy.
No, that's the name of the boat-- Jack Yacht.
Ahoy, Krupp! Saw you were in some nautical need, so I sped right over.
Save the charity for your charity yoga tournament, Cash Networth! -Cool name.
Are you a billionaire? -No.
I mean, yes.
You richies are all the same with your fancy mustard, your monocles, your koi ponds and your socks.
I'm not wearing socks.
Exactly! But I'm also the director of Camp Upper Crust.
Can you believe this weather? Perfect day for the annual Camp Upper Crust regatta.
Nice try, Cash Networth, but your trust fund trickery won't work.
-The regatta isn't until the 17th.
-Today is the 17th.
Why are calendars so confusing? They're not.
It's all right there.
- The month, the day.
That's it.
- Fine! -We'll see you on the water! -Aces! Looking forward to it.
And maybe this year, someone besides us will take home our Regatta Cup.
Oh, yeah, and your watch, and your hat, and your wallet! Well, the regatta is just for fun, but why not? Let's make it sporting, sport.
I'm keeping this to stay alive.
So, how are we gonna win a boat race without boats? Easy.
Uh, are we starting a new chapter or-- Chapter Three: Heap Blue Sea.
Okay, listen up! Since we didn't win the essay competition and I still need a free boat, you're going to build boats.
We're making boats out of garbage? Yes, because one man's garbage is another man's boat of garbage.
Now let's gut those richies like fish that own multiple homes! Why are you so down on rich people? That Cash guy was really nice.
And he saved your life.
Well, it all started when I was an orphan Please let us take your bags And then we'll burn those rags You're rich now And you're here to stay Oh, here's the billionaire Who adopted you Papa Moneysack! No, Ms.
Primly.
Take it back.
I think that was a dream.
-You weren't an orphan.
-Yeah, we met your mom.
Bernice! The point is, we're gonna show those richies, because richies don't deserve to be rich, and I do! Can't we skip all that regatta stuff and just go swimming? If your camp beats Camp Upper Rust you can have all the lake breaks you want.
But if they win, I'll fill the lake in with garbage! I can't let him bury priceless naval antiquities.
We have to win.
Lake Summer Camp Camp, follow me.
Leave the garbage to the g-garbage.
We've gotta win.
It's not summer camp if we can't swim in a lake.
Yeah, but, like, building a boat will take, like, forevar! -Is there any way to speed this up? -Well, we could do a music montage.
Build a boat Will it float? If the garbage sinks Baby, that's all she wrote Gotta shake, gotta bake 'Cause if we lose Krupp is gonna fill the lake With garbage Melvin's been down there for a long time.
My research was correct! Behold, Atomic Ava! You wanna race in that? It's rusty, and I'm overdue on a tetanus shot.
Why didn't you just invent a new sub? I mean, you're Melvin.
This is a maritime marvel, a one-of-a-kind, a classic, like the 1983 Deelia Mustache.
Groovy.
Macho.
Impractical.
The all-new Mustache-- it'll grow on you.
Only six Mustaches were made.
Five exploded or six.
Anyway.
Just needs some oil.
Chapter Four: Yacht So Fast.
I had my doubts, but Landfill Lucy is pretty lit.
I don't even notice the garbage.
Unless I look at it or smell it.
Good point.
There's definitely a hint of old bath mats in the air.
Ha! Nice garbage boat.
Fits you like a lost, ripped, stained glove.
Thanks.
What kind of garbage did you guys use? A rusted sewer pipe? The Atomic Ava is a classic, a one-of-a-kind, like the '83 Deelia Mustache.
Bold.
Distinct.
Unsettling.
We're going to race circles around your floating dumpster, and then all the lake's secrets will be mine.
Wha-- More oil! What in the pork pot pie is this? These boats look like garbage! That's because they're made of garbage, remember? This isn't garbage, it's a classic.
No, the plaid couch is a classic.
Bold.
Distinct.
That's a shipwreck in progress.
And if these aren't faster than they look, you'll be swimming in a lake full of those little trays they use for meat at the grocery store, all soaked in meat juice.
- That is very specific garbage.
- Sporty boats, sport! We've got a real regatta on our hands.
Wrong, Country Club! We don't got a real regatta on our hands because your campers didn't show, so we win! - Whoa! - "Deep Pockets"? That boat moves like a cheetah with pontoons.
This is Georgewick Beardington III and Harolding Hutchinsworth III.
Georgewick is the kid on the left with the ascot and the trust fund.
Harolding is the one on the right with the old money and the ascot.
Remember that, now.
So that's what we'd look like if we were rich.
And had promising futures.
Ah, now that's a boat.
This is gonna be a slaughtarrr.
Maybe they'll give us a turn with their boat after they humiliate us.
Aren't their boats incredible, Dressilia? So creative, so free.
Mayhap they'd be willing to trade.
Perish! Which one of you scions of privilege put mayonnaise in my hair pomade? Hey, rich us pranked rich Melvin.
Good to know money changes everything but us.
I, Melvinport Sneedleyfeller III, am waiting.
I'm waiting! Chapter Five: You've Got Sail! Sailors ready! And they're off! Chat Blathering here, live on Lake Summer Camp as the Camp Upper Crust Regatta begins! Brought to you by TP TP, the tristate area's number one store for number two.
-Oh, no.
The voices are back.
-That's Chat Blathering.
He's our camp sports commentator.
Care to join me on the Jack Yacht to watch the race, Mr.
Krupp? Lounge in the lap of luxury like a fat cat? -Ha! Never! -Whatever floats your boat.
- Is that guacamole? - Yes.
Lovingly crafted from the finest Peruvian avocados, garnished with a luscious bacon puree and velvety cilantro foam.
Our guacamole chef, Javi, makes it fresh on the quarter hour.
Guac! Give me guac, guac, guac! Give me guac, guac, guac! Guac, guac, guac, guac, guac Guac! No surprise, Deep Pockets has taken the lead.
And speaking of surprises-- TP TP, if your pants are ripe, try a new wipe! Buddy, it's hopeless.
Your oar is a broken tennis racket.
Also, we're on a pile of garbage, and Camp Upper Crust has a boat from the future.
- No! There's gotta be a way to win.
- There is.
Like, grab all the plastic bags you can find.
Now trim those bags and, like, tack to starboard! When did you learn how to sail? Right after episode ten.
Like, we're sailors now! Thanks, Pirate Miiike.
But we're, like, still too heavy.
Other Sophie? Bettarrr.
Looks like that floating pile of garbage is making a run for first.
Speaking of runs, maybe you should make a TP run to TP TP.
One of your boats just took the lead, sport.
Let's double down.
If I win, I also get your yacht and your guac guy.
- I don't think-- - Deal! And then I'll be better than you! No! Those two sandals with socks can't win.
Give me more speed.
More speed? We're at full speed.
Then I'll make it fuller speed! Oh! Uh hey.
That looks bad.
No, it doesn't! We're speeding up.
Nothing can deny me Melvictory now.
And the rusted grain silo pulls ahead! Looks like a dead heat.
-Whoa.
-It's that salamander Krupp flushed! First I get flushed down a toilet, and now I'm a giant monster.
Can this day get any worse? But why does he look like the Salamangler from our comic? Here's the replay: the salamander went from the toilet to a water treatment plant, to a seagull, to a garbage truck, back to the camp where he was added to Landfill Lucy and then to the lake where he swam through nuclear reactor runoff! Yes! Do you believe in magic? Then abracadabra, baby! So, the lake's closed till I get flush justice.
Or flush-dish.
Flushdis.
Flush-j-- Flush-dis.
Flushdish.
Flush-- Whoo! That is not easy to say! Now where's that double XL panic attack that flushed me? 'Cause I'm gonna flush him! I can feel the guac making me younger, Javi.
Keep slathering.
- We're gonna die! - Not today.
The Jack Yacht is fully equipped with-- Ah! Great! Because Javi and I are getting out of here.
Adios, Networst! Rich guy burn! High-five, Jav.
We need Captain Underpants, but how do we get to Krupp without a boat? No idea.
That works.
Hey, Salamangler.
The guy who flushed you is over there! Jack Yacht! What are you doing? I mean, Krupp's a terrible person, but we don't want him to get salamangled.
Trust me.
Grab your meat trays! Stop right there, you double XL panic attack, - 'cause I'm gonna flush you! - No! If you want me, you'll have to go through Javi.
Right, Javi? Javi, no! You're my guacabrole! Tra-la-lizard! Salamanders aren't lizards.
Captain Underpants, we need you to sink that salamander.
Sure! After I eat this giant donut.
That's a tire.
-Mm! Chewy.
-Come down here! The fun's over.
Let's throw a beach party.
Yeehaw! Chapter Six: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter in Beach Party-O-Rama, because fighting is dangerous and beach parties are the most.
Come on, everybody.
The clams are bakin' and I'm a-shakin'.
Feelin' a little dizzy, but still gettin' busy.
Now pass me anything but a clam-- Ow! Ooh, those clams did not agree with me, but it's okay I think.
Wait, is that a shark in the water? Ow! Ah! Where's my beautiful body? Oh, there it is.
Buried treasure.
Salamangler is one tough lizard.
Again, not a lizard.
You never should have flushed me! No way, Jose-lamander.
I didn't flush anybody, 'cause I never flush.
Can't talk your way out of this.
An eye for an eye, a swirl for a swirl.
And now you'll know the pain of being flushed down the toilet! He already knows that pain.
We'll show you.
- It's the top Krupp fail video.
- Hey, that's funny.
- So, are we good? - I guess.
I mean, it's a little unsatisfying.
-So what now? -Now we got a regatta to win.
-You don't have an engine.
-We don't have a boat.
-But we all wanna use the lake.
-So let's win this regatta together.
What do you say? Fine, I'm in.
Let's finish this race.
And the regatta is back on! It's working! We can't lose! Yeah, as long as the wind holds up.
Hey, wind, how you holding up? Great! Are we winning? I can't see through all this wind-swept hair.
Pfft.
Oh, we're winning, all right, because I'm pushing! Faster! No! Camp Upper Crust wins! But no surprise, because they're rich.
Whoa! Being wind makes me dizzy.
Where are my clothes? And Javi? And land, because I can't swim! I got you covered, sport.
Oh, great! Here to gloat about your victory, Networst? Actually, so there's no hard feelings, I'm here to give you this yacht.
We've got a bunch of them.
I mean, unless you don't want it.
Mm! Oh, Javi Best guac ever.
-Looks like everybody wins.
-Everybody except Melvin.
Oil! Oil! Best lake break ever.
Hello? Where am I supposed to go? Relax.
We got you covered, sport.
Oh, here's the billionaire Who adopted you Welcome home, son Papa Moneysack!