The Family Law (2016) s03e06 Episode Script
Number One Gay Son
1 BENJAMIN: There's a difference between knowing who you are and being able to say it out loud.
You might know how you feel inside, but there's always that fear of how other people are going to react.
(WOMAN WAILS) (SOBS) JENNY: Hey, hey, hey! Oh! Hey! Careful, Mr Clumsy! Sorry.
Sorry.
(SOBS, WAILS) She said, "You always have other children"! Can't come out to her now.
Feels weird even being around her, to be honest.
Kids! I got everything you needed! Mum! Can you knock? Sorry.
Am I interrupting? It's fine.
I can take that.
Thanks, Jenny.
Sure! Anything for my dream team.
Is there anything else you need? Space would be good, thanks.
Oh.
(SLAM!) Knock knock? See? Mummy knock now.
It's getting pretty late.
I made you some cha.
Thanks.
Ai, all grown up now.
Remember when we had to ban drinks before bedtime? Such a deep sleeper.
Wet the bed so much.
Good thing you and your Gor-Gor didn't sleep in bunks.
Yeah, I remember, Mum.
I was there.
What's wrong? I'm sure your talent show routine's not that bad.
Why would you say that? You seem pretty stress out.
What makes me stressed is when people hover over me, passing judgement.
(SEWING MACHINE WHIRRS) (TAP AT WINDOW) (LAUGHS) What are you doing? It's called romance.
(CHUCKLES) Cute.
It's true.
I'm very cute, yes.
So I think this is the part where you ask me up.
You know, if youwant to.
Shh! Quiet! You're making everything squeak! Are you calling me fat? (GIGGLES) Shh! Shh! Shh! So.
What happens now? You know I've had five kids, right? I've had two.
(SIGHS) (DOOR OPENS) What's wrong with your face? Looks like you've had a stroke.
(LAUGHS) Ai! Is it illegal for Jenny-Mum to be happy-lah? Hey, hey! Hey! Bye.
Hey.
Benji-ah, you know Mummy's always here for you, right? Are you? Of course.
If you say so.
Logically, it doesn't make sense that Gene Kelly's tap shoes would stay dry in a monsoon, but if we transition out of his original move with a kind ofhot step .
.
then take off all our clothes .
.
and set ourselves on fire? Hey! Ben.
If you're not listening, you're not caring.
(SIGHS) I care! It's just I've got other stuff on my mind.
Oh, my God! I left the bowler hats in the S Block toilets.
Melissa! It's fine.
They're next to the tampon bin.
No-one will touch them.
You go ahead, get set up.
(DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYS) (CRASH!) Sorry! You OK? Yeah.
I'm fine.
Don't stop for me.
Umwhat was that? Oh, justsomething I wrote.
You wrote that? Just how II don't know, express myself, I guess.
I know.
Gay, right? Ohno I mean, you're the same.
Uh With how you approach performing.
Oh.
Yeah.
For sure.
What are you doing for the talent show? We're doing a scene from Singing In The Rain.
Oh.
Right.
Well, you can't go wrong with that.
Excuse me.
We've booked this room and we're year 10.
Oh, no, Melissa He's year 9 scum.
Sorry.
My bad.
How is this expressing ourselves? What's our act saying about us and who we are? I mean, why Singing In The Rain? Why now? Ben, it was your idea.
I know, I know.
Something just doesn't feel right.
I don't know what it is.
I feel all blocked.
Ew! Creatively.
(SIGHS) You're just having your usual last-minute freak out.
Relax.
It might feel weird now, but the more we practise, the better it will be.
Trust me.
Mum, Ben and Melissa are just friends.
Ai, I know what I saw! Friends don't dothat.
Do what? You know.
Intimate touching! Penetration? Foul! Were they naked? OK, stop! Was he wearing a condom? Michelle! Oh, my God! How would he even buy them? Self-serve checkout.
Do they have condoms that small? Girls! Ah-Ben, we need to talk.
Oh.
OK.
Sure.
Mummy knows.
What? How? You live in this house! How did you think you could hide something so big from me? How did you find out? I saw! You and Melissa.
(SIGHS) So you're having sex.
Under my roof.
I need to know you're safe at least.
Are you using condoms? No.
Well, is Melissa on the pill? Mum, Melissa and I aren't together! Thenwhy are you having the sex for?! Mum, stop! Shut up.
You don't know what you're talking about! OK.
You talk.
Why bother? You don't even listen! You say you know me when you don't! My Benji wouldn't yell at his mother and tell her to shut up! I feel like I'm losing my son! Well, it's good you have other kids, then! (SLAM!) See you.
Bye.
Bye, guys.
Can't believe Mum didn't even drop me off.
Of course she didn't.
You've been acting like a little shit.
Me?! Look, I don't know what's going on with you and Melissa Nothing is! Who cares? It's no excuse for treating Mum like that.
Mum's always there for you.
Yeah, right.
You're kidding? Who buys all your costume supplies? Who's in the front row of every single one of your performances, no matter how crap? Hey! Name one thing that's more important to her than you.
She deserves better.
And you need to talk to her.
MumI have something I need to tell you.
I'm (ASIAN ACCENT) Gay! Ai, I knew it! What if you die of AIDS-lah? Melissa, Jesus! Don't break character.
Commit to the role play.
We need to cover every single possibility.
Ai, my baby boy-lah, dead of AIDS! (WAILS) OK, she's not gonna say that.
Isn't this basically how your aunty reacted? True.
Come on.
You've got this.
How can you be sure-lah? Have you try sex with a girl? No, I haven't tried sex with girls.
Firstly, I'm only 15.
Secondly, you didn't do it with girls to know you were straight.
Actually-lah, this one time in my 20s Oh, Melissa! Focus! So if sine is opposite over hypotenuse and the opposite is 2.
8, then the hypotenuse is Uh, tan.
Cos.
I mean cos.
Andrew, it's a number.
Look, I'm trying.
Be serious! This is our final exam.
Maybe it doesn't matter to you, but it matters to me.
It matters to me.
Well, then take it seriously.
Ah! Young love! (CHUCKLES) So cute.
Only eyes for each other.
Then you get old, bodies change shape, lose all desire, can't talk without fighting.
Jesus, Dad! Oh, no, no, don't worry.
(CHUCKLES) Everything work out OK eventually.
Look at me and Ming-Zhu now.
Just be happy.
Mum, I've got something I need to Gor-Gor? What's going on? Heidi and your brother, they Heidi dumped me.
Why? Was it your personality? You did nothing wrong.
You were always there for Heidi.
Yeah, too much, apparently.
That's horrible.
(QUIETLY) And inconvenient.
What? Nothing.
Between you and me, I never liked Heidi.
Me neither.
So up herself.
Guys Like the rest of her family.
And honestly, who plays a harp? Guys You're not a frickin' woodland creature.
You're not an elf! Guys! This isn't helping.
Mum? Can we talk? Why? So you can yell at Mummy again? Tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? I have something important to tell you.
About me.
OK.
The thing is .
.
I You got Melissa pregnant? Mum! What? It happens.
Especially on the Sunshine Coast.
No! Uh You on drugs? What? No! Then what is it? Just tell me.
You're starting to scare Mummy.
Mum? Hmm? I'm gay.
Oh, come here! (CHUCKLES) So you're not angry? Oh! Angry? Why would I be angry? So what ARE you feeling? Love.
Just love.
So, guysthanks for coming.
Hey! No phones.
Focus, please.
Your sei-lo has something to tell you.
Mum, it's fine.
Listen to your brother! Mum, well, let him talk, then.
Guys Don't gang up on your mother! No emotional support from your dad for 20 years.
I don't need this from you two For God's sake! Guys, I'm gay! And? Really? Does your mum know? Yep.
And your Gar-Jer? Yep.
And your Gor-Gor? Yep.
And Tammy? Yes.
And Michelle.
But only because they were eavesdropping.
What are you thinking? You're still my son.
And it's very popular nowadays.
So it's OK with me.
And if you want to be normal later (SIGHS) Dad! .
.
that's OK with me too.
Thanks, Dad.
How did this happen? Must be on your side of the family.
You do have two lesbian cousins.
Does it matter? People don't like people who are different.
I'm just scared for him.
He'll never get married.
Have kids.
So what? Like it was perfect for us? True.
Hey.
We'll never not be scared for him.
That's what parents do-lah.
But Ah-Ben was so brave to tell us.
Can you imagine keeping all that inside? He did that by himself.
Could you do that? I'm so proud of you! You're officially gay now! (LAUGHS) I think it was already official.
You know what I mean.
How do you feel? Relieved.
Lighter.
Unblocked.
It's like I can see things clearly now.
And - I've worked out how to fix our act! I didn't know it was broken.
We've got to stand out.
Everyone else is bland.
We should be brave.
What's more important than telling our truth? Wouldn't you rather take a risk and crash out than be safe and runner-up? MALLORY: Please take your seats.
The show will commence shortly.
(HARP PLAYS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You'd think they'd never heard a harp before.
OK, we can't go on after that! Abort! Abort! Ben! Pull yourself together.
What would Oprah do? We're living boldly, remember? It's all or nothing.
Klaus and Heidi Thomson, ladies and gentlemen.
Wasn't thatastoundingly pleasant? Next up, to entertain us all once more, three-times runners-up, Melissa Hills and Benjamin Law! (THUNDER CRASHES) (SHOES TAP) (THUNDER CRASHES) (BRASH POP MUSIC PLAYS) # Humidity's risin' Mm-hm.
Right.
# Barometer's getting low How low, girl? # According to all sources What sources, now? # The street's the place to go You'd better hurry up! # 'Cause tonight, for the first time # The first time # Just about half past ten # Half past ten # For the first time in history # It's gonna start raining men # It's raining men BOTH: # Hallelujah! It's raining men # Amen # I'm gonna go out # I'm gonna let myself get # Absolutely soaking wet It's raining men! (WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHS) That was so good! WE were so good.
(LAUGHS) Oh, God, these pants are so tight! I have to pee.
All that rain.
(LAUGHS) Hey.
Umcongratulations.
I liked your performance.
Oh.
Thanks.
I liked yours too.
He was bloody spectacular.
(LAUGHS) Oh! I wonder where he gets it from.
Mmm! I may be bias, but he was so much better than the other kids, wasn't he? Mmm.
(WHISPERS) Speak of the devil.
BOY: That was great, guys.
Well done.
GIRL: Congratulations, guys.
Ohh! Ohh! Oh! Oh! I am so proud of you! Can I just say, we're totally winning at life right now! Mebeing me, and you finding your soul mate! (LAUGHS) What? Ai-ya, Pete isn't my soul mate! What do you mean? I already have my soul mate right here.
Hey, Benji boy! Number one gay son! Uh, just number one's fine, Dad.
(ALL LAUGH) OK, everyone! Photo time! Uh, Pete, can you take photo? Yeah.
Come on, kids, let's go! Come on! Come on BENJAMIN: It's scary having to carry a secret.
It's even scarier putting yourself out there Wayne.
Ming-Zhu, come on! Come on! No OK! .
.
and showing people who you really are.
But at the end of the day, all you need are good people in your corner.
Like friends Hey! .
.
loved ones, and, if you're really lucky OK? Everyone? Yat, yi, sam! (CLICK!) .
.
family.
Captions by Red Bee Media (c) SBS Australia 2019
You might know how you feel inside, but there's always that fear of how other people are going to react.
(WOMAN WAILS) (SOBS) JENNY: Hey, hey, hey! Oh! Hey! Careful, Mr Clumsy! Sorry.
Sorry.
(SOBS, WAILS) She said, "You always have other children"! Can't come out to her now.
Feels weird even being around her, to be honest.
Kids! I got everything you needed! Mum! Can you knock? Sorry.
Am I interrupting? It's fine.
I can take that.
Thanks, Jenny.
Sure! Anything for my dream team.
Is there anything else you need? Space would be good, thanks.
Oh.
(SLAM!) Knock knock? See? Mummy knock now.
It's getting pretty late.
I made you some cha.
Thanks.
Ai, all grown up now.
Remember when we had to ban drinks before bedtime? Such a deep sleeper.
Wet the bed so much.
Good thing you and your Gor-Gor didn't sleep in bunks.
Yeah, I remember, Mum.
I was there.
What's wrong? I'm sure your talent show routine's not that bad.
Why would you say that? You seem pretty stress out.
What makes me stressed is when people hover over me, passing judgement.
(SEWING MACHINE WHIRRS) (TAP AT WINDOW) (LAUGHS) What are you doing? It's called romance.
(CHUCKLES) Cute.
It's true.
I'm very cute, yes.
So I think this is the part where you ask me up.
You know, if youwant to.
Shh! Quiet! You're making everything squeak! Are you calling me fat? (GIGGLES) Shh! Shh! Shh! So.
What happens now? You know I've had five kids, right? I've had two.
(SIGHS) (DOOR OPENS) What's wrong with your face? Looks like you've had a stroke.
(LAUGHS) Ai! Is it illegal for Jenny-Mum to be happy-lah? Hey, hey! Hey! Bye.
Hey.
Benji-ah, you know Mummy's always here for you, right? Are you? Of course.
If you say so.
Logically, it doesn't make sense that Gene Kelly's tap shoes would stay dry in a monsoon, but if we transition out of his original move with a kind ofhot step .
.
then take off all our clothes .
.
and set ourselves on fire? Hey! Ben.
If you're not listening, you're not caring.
(SIGHS) I care! It's just I've got other stuff on my mind.
Oh, my God! I left the bowler hats in the S Block toilets.
Melissa! It's fine.
They're next to the tampon bin.
No-one will touch them.
You go ahead, get set up.
(DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYS) (CRASH!) Sorry! You OK? Yeah.
I'm fine.
Don't stop for me.
Umwhat was that? Oh, justsomething I wrote.
You wrote that? Just how II don't know, express myself, I guess.
I know.
Gay, right? Ohno I mean, you're the same.
Uh With how you approach performing.
Oh.
Yeah.
For sure.
What are you doing for the talent show? We're doing a scene from Singing In The Rain.
Oh.
Right.
Well, you can't go wrong with that.
Excuse me.
We've booked this room and we're year 10.
Oh, no, Melissa He's year 9 scum.
Sorry.
My bad.
How is this expressing ourselves? What's our act saying about us and who we are? I mean, why Singing In The Rain? Why now? Ben, it was your idea.
I know, I know.
Something just doesn't feel right.
I don't know what it is.
I feel all blocked.
Ew! Creatively.
(SIGHS) You're just having your usual last-minute freak out.
Relax.
It might feel weird now, but the more we practise, the better it will be.
Trust me.
Mum, Ben and Melissa are just friends.
Ai, I know what I saw! Friends don't dothat.
Do what? You know.
Intimate touching! Penetration? Foul! Were they naked? OK, stop! Was he wearing a condom? Michelle! Oh, my God! How would he even buy them? Self-serve checkout.
Do they have condoms that small? Girls! Ah-Ben, we need to talk.
Oh.
OK.
Sure.
Mummy knows.
What? How? You live in this house! How did you think you could hide something so big from me? How did you find out? I saw! You and Melissa.
(SIGHS) So you're having sex.
Under my roof.
I need to know you're safe at least.
Are you using condoms? No.
Well, is Melissa on the pill? Mum, Melissa and I aren't together! Thenwhy are you having the sex for?! Mum, stop! Shut up.
You don't know what you're talking about! OK.
You talk.
Why bother? You don't even listen! You say you know me when you don't! My Benji wouldn't yell at his mother and tell her to shut up! I feel like I'm losing my son! Well, it's good you have other kids, then! (SLAM!) See you.
Bye.
Bye, guys.
Can't believe Mum didn't even drop me off.
Of course she didn't.
You've been acting like a little shit.
Me?! Look, I don't know what's going on with you and Melissa Nothing is! Who cares? It's no excuse for treating Mum like that.
Mum's always there for you.
Yeah, right.
You're kidding? Who buys all your costume supplies? Who's in the front row of every single one of your performances, no matter how crap? Hey! Name one thing that's more important to her than you.
She deserves better.
And you need to talk to her.
MumI have something I need to tell you.
I'm (ASIAN ACCENT) Gay! Ai, I knew it! What if you die of AIDS-lah? Melissa, Jesus! Don't break character.
Commit to the role play.
We need to cover every single possibility.
Ai, my baby boy-lah, dead of AIDS! (WAILS) OK, she's not gonna say that.
Isn't this basically how your aunty reacted? True.
Come on.
You've got this.
How can you be sure-lah? Have you try sex with a girl? No, I haven't tried sex with girls.
Firstly, I'm only 15.
Secondly, you didn't do it with girls to know you were straight.
Actually-lah, this one time in my 20s Oh, Melissa! Focus! So if sine is opposite over hypotenuse and the opposite is 2.
8, then the hypotenuse is Uh, tan.
Cos.
I mean cos.
Andrew, it's a number.
Look, I'm trying.
Be serious! This is our final exam.
Maybe it doesn't matter to you, but it matters to me.
It matters to me.
Well, then take it seriously.
Ah! Young love! (CHUCKLES) So cute.
Only eyes for each other.
Then you get old, bodies change shape, lose all desire, can't talk without fighting.
Jesus, Dad! Oh, no, no, don't worry.
(CHUCKLES) Everything work out OK eventually.
Look at me and Ming-Zhu now.
Just be happy.
Mum, I've got something I need to Gor-Gor? What's going on? Heidi and your brother, they Heidi dumped me.
Why? Was it your personality? You did nothing wrong.
You were always there for Heidi.
Yeah, too much, apparently.
That's horrible.
(QUIETLY) And inconvenient.
What? Nothing.
Between you and me, I never liked Heidi.
Me neither.
So up herself.
Guys Like the rest of her family.
And honestly, who plays a harp? Guys You're not a frickin' woodland creature.
You're not an elf! Guys! This isn't helping.
Mum? Can we talk? Why? So you can yell at Mummy again? Tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? I have something important to tell you.
About me.
OK.
The thing is .
.
I You got Melissa pregnant? Mum! What? It happens.
Especially on the Sunshine Coast.
No! Uh You on drugs? What? No! Then what is it? Just tell me.
You're starting to scare Mummy.
Mum? Hmm? I'm gay.
Oh, come here! (CHUCKLES) So you're not angry? Oh! Angry? Why would I be angry? So what ARE you feeling? Love.
Just love.
So, guysthanks for coming.
Hey! No phones.
Focus, please.
Your sei-lo has something to tell you.
Mum, it's fine.
Listen to your brother! Mum, well, let him talk, then.
Guys Don't gang up on your mother! No emotional support from your dad for 20 years.
I don't need this from you two For God's sake! Guys, I'm gay! And? Really? Does your mum know? Yep.
And your Gar-Jer? Yep.
And your Gor-Gor? Yep.
And Tammy? Yes.
And Michelle.
But only because they were eavesdropping.
What are you thinking? You're still my son.
And it's very popular nowadays.
So it's OK with me.
And if you want to be normal later (SIGHS) Dad! .
.
that's OK with me too.
Thanks, Dad.
How did this happen? Must be on your side of the family.
You do have two lesbian cousins.
Does it matter? People don't like people who are different.
I'm just scared for him.
He'll never get married.
Have kids.
So what? Like it was perfect for us? True.
Hey.
We'll never not be scared for him.
That's what parents do-lah.
But Ah-Ben was so brave to tell us.
Can you imagine keeping all that inside? He did that by himself.
Could you do that? I'm so proud of you! You're officially gay now! (LAUGHS) I think it was already official.
You know what I mean.
How do you feel? Relieved.
Lighter.
Unblocked.
It's like I can see things clearly now.
And - I've worked out how to fix our act! I didn't know it was broken.
We've got to stand out.
Everyone else is bland.
We should be brave.
What's more important than telling our truth? Wouldn't you rather take a risk and crash out than be safe and runner-up? MALLORY: Please take your seats.
The show will commence shortly.
(HARP PLAYS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You'd think they'd never heard a harp before.
OK, we can't go on after that! Abort! Abort! Ben! Pull yourself together.
What would Oprah do? We're living boldly, remember? It's all or nothing.
Klaus and Heidi Thomson, ladies and gentlemen.
Wasn't thatastoundingly pleasant? Next up, to entertain us all once more, three-times runners-up, Melissa Hills and Benjamin Law! (THUNDER CRASHES) (SHOES TAP) (THUNDER CRASHES) (BRASH POP MUSIC PLAYS) # Humidity's risin' Mm-hm.
Right.
# Barometer's getting low How low, girl? # According to all sources What sources, now? # The street's the place to go You'd better hurry up! # 'Cause tonight, for the first time # The first time # Just about half past ten # Half past ten # For the first time in history # It's gonna start raining men # It's raining men BOTH: # Hallelujah! It's raining men # Amen # I'm gonna go out # I'm gonna let myself get # Absolutely soaking wet It's raining men! (WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHS) That was so good! WE were so good.
(LAUGHS) Oh, God, these pants are so tight! I have to pee.
All that rain.
(LAUGHS) Hey.
Umcongratulations.
I liked your performance.
Oh.
Thanks.
I liked yours too.
He was bloody spectacular.
(LAUGHS) Oh! I wonder where he gets it from.
Mmm! I may be bias, but he was so much better than the other kids, wasn't he? Mmm.
(WHISPERS) Speak of the devil.
BOY: That was great, guys.
Well done.
GIRL: Congratulations, guys.
Ohh! Ohh! Oh! Oh! I am so proud of you! Can I just say, we're totally winning at life right now! Mebeing me, and you finding your soul mate! (LAUGHS) What? Ai-ya, Pete isn't my soul mate! What do you mean? I already have my soul mate right here.
Hey, Benji boy! Number one gay son! Uh, just number one's fine, Dad.
(ALL LAUGH) OK, everyone! Photo time! Uh, Pete, can you take photo? Yeah.
Come on, kids, let's go! Come on! Come on BENJAMIN: It's scary having to carry a secret.
It's even scarier putting yourself out there Wayne.
Ming-Zhu, come on! Come on! No OK! .
.
and showing people who you really are.
But at the end of the day, all you need are good people in your corner.
Like friends Hey! .
.
loved ones, and, if you're really lucky OK? Everyone? Yat, yi, sam! (CLICK!) .
.
family.
Captions by Red Bee Media (c) SBS Australia 2019