The Guild (2007) s03e06 Episode Script
Newbtastic
I am not going to be defensive about my choice for the new guild member! That sounded really defensive.
Fine, I admit it! I didn't want Riley in the Guild.
I don't care if she plays games and would be an awesome addition, skill-wise.
There are just some people I don't want to interact with.
A lot of those people happen to be taller, prettier, and more charismatic than me.
But in this instance I feel like I made the best decision for the Guild.
And I am gonna watch this back a few times to convince myself of that.
Daddy! Wiggly, you don't run away from the bad guys! You shoot them! But it hurts when they hit me! Er push to talk But they keep hitting me! Clara, how does this microphone thing work? O-M-G! Mr.
Wiggly! Concentrate DPS! I don't know what that means, Spork! Vork! Sorry! I Clara, I can't get my person thingie to move.
You're doing great, honey! Wiggly! Wrong way! No, no, don't go near the Minotaur! No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no Augh! He's pulled! And now we're dead.
Joy.
Zaboo! Report! My lady calls.
Hopefully, she's got something in store for me that's less torturous than this.
Hopefully'd.
Okay, everyone else, take a few breaths.
Clara, we need to have a little Guild meeting sans Wiggly.
Um, he's not Spanish.
Without him.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Honey, I printed you out some game guides.
How about you go have a look-see? I love you! I love you, too.
This game has homework? Man, I shoulda kissed that stunt guy months ago! This is great! Clara, you're wed to an incompetent.
Mr.
Wiggly needs to be ejected from the Guild.
He should never have been admitted in the first place.
Vork, you are entitled to your opinion, but until you're Guild Leader again I say who's in and who's out.
Please.
Well, hello.
I would like us all to discuss how we can help Mr.
Wiggly be um not so utterly awful? Well, he didn't accidentally turn off his laptop this time.
That's an improvement! Oh, playing with the computer actually on.
Big step.
Look, if we don't play together, then I don't play at all, remember? So there's your choice, buckos! No, no, no.
We can't be down two players.
He stays for now.
Hi, I'm applying to be a part of the Knights of the Good, where everything's rainbows and applesauce and sunshine.
Oh, you guys have a sharing rule, right? I would love to be a member! Except that I wouldn't! Who is this? Vakyrie from the Axis of Anarchy.
Did you see that little website I made for your little Guildie? I guess I'm most proud of the typography.
I thought a font with seraphs would really just, like, you know, rub it in.
What you guys did to Bladezz was totally low! We don't want to have anything to do with you! Yeah, you had your revenge, and now I'm bored.
Good-bye.
You'll be needing more than a group hug when the next twist of the knife turns, Bladezzey Wadezzey.
Oh, hello, sir.
I'm on with a client actually, yeah.
Uh, her damask came in, and, well, it showed up in coral instead of lavender like she asked, so, you know Drama! What? Surfing the internet? No, of course I'm not.
There's a strict rule in the office, and I'm really happy you implemented it because I think we all need to focus.
You guys are stupid! Well, that sounded serious, that damask thing.
You think they're gonna try something else? As an individual who is not a leader, I have no opinion on the matter.
They can't force me any lower on the High School totem pole.
A cover band called "Smulders" played with the face-on-a-sticks during lunch today.
I'm never going to get a date.
Ever.
Simon, get in here! And my mom's blowing a gasket.
BRB.
Okay, Zaboo was supposed to get Tink's info.
It couldn't hurt to try to track her down, see if she can stop this.
Going AFK.
Yes, thank you for obtaining the Harvest Elementary Wi-Fi key.
Here's a small exciting toy.
Now leave.
Is that a video game in your car? Yes, it is.
Do you like video games? - Yeah! Can I play? - No.
The cerebral cortex is underdeveloped for humans before puberty.
Hey, that's my ride! How did I provoke such an attack? Because you're ugly, and you use stupid long words! You made some good points.
I see the potential for male-pattern baldness on your scalp, something I experienced myself at your age.
Do you find it affects your leadership skills? I'm bald? Alvin, who are you talking to? Why do you have all this equipment in your van? Are you taping the children? Miss Wagonner! He said I'm undercortexed and balding! It only gets worse.
Good luck with the chicks! It's open! Oh, hi.
You looking for Wade? Oh, God, no! Is he here? He's up in Vancouver roundhousing Lorenzo Lamas.
I'll never hear the end of it.
Good, I was hoping to never see him again.
Um, I just need to ask Zaboo something.
He's out.
In case you didn't get it, this: Bitch stare.
That's cool.
Okay, so I just gotta go.
You know, I mean, I'm just Whoa! Okay, I caught it! - Play me.
- What? Um, no.
No, I've got Guild Leadering to do, so Not good enough for the Guild, not good enough to hang out with? News flash: I'm cooler than you.
The rejection ladder goes the other way, nerdlet.
Reject? No, no! I didn't reject you! I just, you know, filled the spot.
Gosh.
Like I wanted to play with you, little RPG fairies, anyway.
When I game, it's sit, shoot, kill.
Let's go.
Oh, unless these big, bad buttons are too scawy? Well, if you're gonna be snarky about it, I think I can spare a minute.
If you puke on my controller, I will kick you in the head with my steel-toed boot.
You ask Zaboo if you think I'm kidding.
That boy bruises like a peach.
You know, you're the first girl Zaboo's ever been with.
You might wanna be a little gentle with him.
I mean, he's a really Oh! Augh, who would program a game like that? I would never run that fast down a hallway in real life! Here.
I know all the pressure points.
For pain and pleasure.
Oh, that feels better, actually.
Thanks.
You have such soft skin.
Dungeon prisoner pale.
Thanks.
Codex! Zaboo? Oh, thank you.
He was out.
Guess he woke up.
Ah! Fresh air.
Thank you.
I will not forget to make you breakfast again, that's for sure.
What is going on here? I think it's fairly obvious.
He forgot to make me breakfast, so I knocked him out and tied him up.
Now it won't happen again.
I am a fast learner.
Codex, Bladezz just texted me, and someone planted something in his locker.
I mean, the cops are at his doorstep! He could go to Juvie!
Fine, I admit it! I didn't want Riley in the Guild.
I don't care if she plays games and would be an awesome addition, skill-wise.
There are just some people I don't want to interact with.
A lot of those people happen to be taller, prettier, and more charismatic than me.
But in this instance I feel like I made the best decision for the Guild.
And I am gonna watch this back a few times to convince myself of that.
Daddy! Wiggly, you don't run away from the bad guys! You shoot them! But it hurts when they hit me! Er push to talk But they keep hitting me! Clara, how does this microphone thing work? O-M-G! Mr.
Wiggly! Concentrate DPS! I don't know what that means, Spork! Vork! Sorry! I Clara, I can't get my person thingie to move.
You're doing great, honey! Wiggly! Wrong way! No, no, don't go near the Minotaur! No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no Augh! He's pulled! And now we're dead.
Joy.
Zaboo! Report! My lady calls.
Hopefully, she's got something in store for me that's less torturous than this.
Hopefully'd.
Okay, everyone else, take a few breaths.
Clara, we need to have a little Guild meeting sans Wiggly.
Um, he's not Spanish.
Without him.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Honey, I printed you out some game guides.
How about you go have a look-see? I love you! I love you, too.
This game has homework? Man, I shoulda kissed that stunt guy months ago! This is great! Clara, you're wed to an incompetent.
Mr.
Wiggly needs to be ejected from the Guild.
He should never have been admitted in the first place.
Vork, you are entitled to your opinion, but until you're Guild Leader again I say who's in and who's out.
Please.
Well, hello.
I would like us all to discuss how we can help Mr.
Wiggly be um not so utterly awful? Well, he didn't accidentally turn off his laptop this time.
That's an improvement! Oh, playing with the computer actually on.
Big step.
Look, if we don't play together, then I don't play at all, remember? So there's your choice, buckos! No, no, no.
We can't be down two players.
He stays for now.
Hi, I'm applying to be a part of the Knights of the Good, where everything's rainbows and applesauce and sunshine.
Oh, you guys have a sharing rule, right? I would love to be a member! Except that I wouldn't! Who is this? Vakyrie from the Axis of Anarchy.
Did you see that little website I made for your little Guildie? I guess I'm most proud of the typography.
I thought a font with seraphs would really just, like, you know, rub it in.
What you guys did to Bladezz was totally low! We don't want to have anything to do with you! Yeah, you had your revenge, and now I'm bored.
Good-bye.
You'll be needing more than a group hug when the next twist of the knife turns, Bladezzey Wadezzey.
Oh, hello, sir.
I'm on with a client actually, yeah.
Uh, her damask came in, and, well, it showed up in coral instead of lavender like she asked, so, you know Drama! What? Surfing the internet? No, of course I'm not.
There's a strict rule in the office, and I'm really happy you implemented it because I think we all need to focus.
You guys are stupid! Well, that sounded serious, that damask thing.
You think they're gonna try something else? As an individual who is not a leader, I have no opinion on the matter.
They can't force me any lower on the High School totem pole.
A cover band called "Smulders" played with the face-on-a-sticks during lunch today.
I'm never going to get a date.
Ever.
Simon, get in here! And my mom's blowing a gasket.
BRB.
Okay, Zaboo was supposed to get Tink's info.
It couldn't hurt to try to track her down, see if she can stop this.
Going AFK.
Yes, thank you for obtaining the Harvest Elementary Wi-Fi key.
Here's a small exciting toy.
Now leave.
Is that a video game in your car? Yes, it is.
Do you like video games? - Yeah! Can I play? - No.
The cerebral cortex is underdeveloped for humans before puberty.
Hey, that's my ride! How did I provoke such an attack? Because you're ugly, and you use stupid long words! You made some good points.
I see the potential for male-pattern baldness on your scalp, something I experienced myself at your age.
Do you find it affects your leadership skills? I'm bald? Alvin, who are you talking to? Why do you have all this equipment in your van? Are you taping the children? Miss Wagonner! He said I'm undercortexed and balding! It only gets worse.
Good luck with the chicks! It's open! Oh, hi.
You looking for Wade? Oh, God, no! Is he here? He's up in Vancouver roundhousing Lorenzo Lamas.
I'll never hear the end of it.
Good, I was hoping to never see him again.
Um, I just need to ask Zaboo something.
He's out.
In case you didn't get it, this: Bitch stare.
That's cool.
Okay, so I just gotta go.
You know, I mean, I'm just Whoa! Okay, I caught it! - Play me.
- What? Um, no.
No, I've got Guild Leadering to do, so Not good enough for the Guild, not good enough to hang out with? News flash: I'm cooler than you.
The rejection ladder goes the other way, nerdlet.
Reject? No, no! I didn't reject you! I just, you know, filled the spot.
Gosh.
Like I wanted to play with you, little RPG fairies, anyway.
When I game, it's sit, shoot, kill.
Let's go.
Oh, unless these big, bad buttons are too scawy? Well, if you're gonna be snarky about it, I think I can spare a minute.
If you puke on my controller, I will kick you in the head with my steel-toed boot.
You ask Zaboo if you think I'm kidding.
That boy bruises like a peach.
You know, you're the first girl Zaboo's ever been with.
You might wanna be a little gentle with him.
I mean, he's a really Oh! Augh, who would program a game like that? I would never run that fast down a hallway in real life! Here.
I know all the pressure points.
For pain and pleasure.
Oh, that feels better, actually.
Thanks.
You have such soft skin.
Dungeon prisoner pale.
Thanks.
Codex! Zaboo? Oh, thank you.
He was out.
Guess he woke up.
Ah! Fresh air.
Thank you.
I will not forget to make you breakfast again, that's for sure.
What is going on here? I think it's fairly obvious.
He forgot to make me breakfast, so I knocked him out and tied him up.
Now it won't happen again.
I am a fast learner.
Codex, Bladezz just texted me, and someone planted something in his locker.
I mean, the cops are at his doorstep! He could go to Juvie!