The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s03e06 Episode Script

1
[clunks]
-[Rover whimpers, yelps]
-No!
[shrieks]
[inhales]
-Wha Whoa! Ugh!
-[Rover] Hmm?
I gotta head out for awhile, boy.
[grunts]
To do some errands. Violent errands.
-[snuffling]
-Oof!
Hey, boy, I gotta.
They don't call me
Jack the Maniac for nothin'.
[June]
Nobody calls you that!
Remember when we were mapping the town
and I said we can't let
any more evil beings, like Thrull,
sprout up under our noses?
[barks]
Well, just what I didn't want to happen
has happened.
This King Wretch is in my head.
And it's time I found out why.
-Jack!
-Ah! Ah!
-[crashing]
-[crying out]
[theme music playing]
[roars]
Whoa!
[screaming]
-June! What the huh?!
-Come on!
Uhh, actually, I can't. I've got a
Just come on!
Now that we've got the antenna,
we could have a working radio any minute.
Well, I've been at it all night
and there's still a lot of work to
We're this close to
making contact with other people!
Not what I said.
Uh, that's great, June,
but I need to tell you something.
[gasps] What if there's a rescue party,
with tanks, and blimps,
and dancing in soda?
June? Do you think a rescue party
is an actual party?
It will be! Whoop whoop!
Hey! Earth to June!
There's more going on right now
than just that radio!
Not to me.
Oh.
Okay, if that's how you feel.
So, you done yet?
[clanks]
All right.
Time to find that King Wretch
and face my fears.
Ah!
Gah! Why do people keep doing that?
Ah, Jack, the puny human.
Jack the Maniac. Man-i-ac.
[growls]
I look for your companion, Dirk.
What, with your ax raised
and ready to swing?
My ax is always raised
and ready to swing.
Well, Dirk's not here, and neither am I.
Oh, you're gonna do hilarious
Jack fun and games, yes?
No.
Not this time.
[steps down ladder]
[monsters chatting]
Whoo Aha.
I like my darts like I like my pizza
Fast and pointy.
-Hey!
-[reverberates]
Funny man! You think
it's a riot trying to get me killed?
Yeah, it's a real side splitter.
That's why I did it.
So, I agree to do the three tasks to prove
I'm worthy of monster-hood, right.
And-and for the second task,
this comedy genius
says to find a little Scrapken
at the junkyard.
-Uh-oh.
-Yeah, uh-oh.
'Cause Scrapken is a fifty foot tall
gigantor of a monster
that nearly obliterated me and my friends!
But I did it.
[chuckles]
I swear on my mother's left tarknuckle,
it was a real test, sunshine.
A monster's gotta be ready
for the unexpected.
Well, did you expect this?
-Ha! Ugh! Ya!
-[growls]
You want some of this, sweet cheeks?
Oh, you wish your cheeks were this sweet!
Rah!
I'm gonna clean the floor
with your intestines!
That would just make the floor dirtier,
jerkweed!
Enough!
Really? That's what stopped you?
What can I say? I command a room.
I'm two for two, slugbutt!
You got a third task,
let's get it over with.
Oh, oh, yeah, I got a third task,
monkey-mouth.
This is the face of someone
who has a third task.
So, what is it, dingus?
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll tell you,
I'll tell you what it is,
right, uh, now.
-So, tell me!
-I will!
So, go ahead and tell me!
I'm waiting for you to tell me!
Uh, task, uh, number three, uh
Eat like a monster!
Ha! Yeah, that's it.
-Uh-oh, oh.
-[reverberates]
-[voice] Jack
-[gasps]
Jack
[screeches]
[wings flap]
[squelching]
[creaks]
[gasps]
[squelching]
[gasps] I know you!
-Page 38 of the Bestiary!
-[hisses]
Terror-ranchala! A dozen evil eyes,
venom-filled fangs,
web-shooting butt sac
that defies explanation.
-[snarls]
-Ah!
Whoa! Ugh!
-[snarls]
-Uh! Yah!
[laughs] Huh? Ah!
What the? Hey!
-[growls]
-Ah-ah. Ah!
[panting] Ah! [spits]
[gasps, whimpers] Huh?
This was not on my to-do list for today.
Well, no going back, no going forward.
That leaves going over!
-[snarls]
-[panting]
Huh! Uh! Yah!
[snarls]
[squelches]
And that, my multi-legged friend,
is how it's done.
[scurries]
Huh?
-[snarls]
-Ah!
Ugh! Ugh!
-[snarls]
-[whimpering]
Ah!
[Skaelka]
Hah!
Ugh. Skaelka!
Jack.
Terror-ranchala.
[snarling]
Ha-ha!
-Unh!
-[shrieks]
[Jack grunts]
I thought someone was following me.
You did?
No, not really.
[June humming]
Hey, Quint! No pressure.
Just brought you a super slushie thingie.
Thank you.
Gotta hydrate. Liquids, you know.
Eight glasses a day.
I'm just Ah! Excited! You know?
I know.
Excited, nervous, and worried, too.
What if they're broadcasting, right now?
What if it's their last one?
What if they're making a last call
looking for people
before they set out
for the big rescue mission?
-Or worse!
-[gasps]
What if it's a last call for help?
Zombies closing in around them.
Ah! And we don't even
hear them calling for
Quiet!
Why would they call for quiet?
I'm calling for quiet!
You have to chill or I'll never finish!
[panting]
[takes deep breath]
[slurps]
You act like I'm taking this lightly,
but I'm not!
-I just
-You're not the only one
who misses their family, you know.
I know. I
At least you saw your parents on that bus.
You know they're alive!
I have no idea!
Mine could be
[crying] Just go, please.
[sing-song]
It's time, time to eat,
but your meal is not complete,
-'til we have a
-No, no, cut it.
I told you no musical numbers.
Yeah, geez, enough stalling.
Let's get this over with.
[squelches]
[gasps, gags]
Oh, you know, actually,
I'd kinda like to hear how the song ends.
I know it must seem crazy for me to
go out in search of a dangerous monster.
No, this is normal.
I mean, Quint or June would say
it's like going out looking for trouble.
It is literally exactly that.
[footsteps]
[sniffs] Ew!
It is the stench of evil.
This is what I came here for.
Fine. I will slay whatever awaits us.
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. If that's
the King Wretch up there, we need a plan.
Uh, we have a plan.
Okay, fine, your ax is the plan,
but we need a backup plan.
Eh, close enough.
Oh, come on! This isn't food!
You wouldn't know good food
if it inked in your eye socket.
-You want to be a monster, dingle-flesh
-[laughing]
you gotta eat like one.
Even I wouldn't eat that,
and I eat road donuts!
[chomps] Mmm. [mumbles]
I know you can do it!
I don't actually think he can do it,
but I am very supportive.
Okay. [inhales] Okay.
I'm sorry, Hurley.
[chomps, gags]
[chomps, gags]
[slurps, gags]
[whimpers, chomps]
[guzzles, gasps]
That's it! I did it! I did it!
You ate the meal, curly-q.
Hope you saved room for dessert.
[groans, slurps]
[clanks]
[Quint]
Come on, come on.
[static hums]
-[zaps]
-[gasps]
Yes! Fixed it!
O. M. Gosh!
It works!
[sing song] It works.
I fixed it. It works.
Gonna hear stuff. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
Everybody gonna
[normal tone]
Well, don't all thank me at once!
[echoes]
Jack? Dirk?
[sighs] June?
I stay up all night and half of today
and nobody even
Whatever.
[stretches] Ah!
No rest for the wickedly talented.
Better check my 72 other projects.
-Quint, I am so sorry. I never meant
-[static hums]
[gasps] Ugh!
Oh, my gosh! It's working! It's working!
Come on, come on, come on!
[woman breaking up over radio]
Hello. Repeat, hello
We are Contact And hope To
Guys! Guys! The radio! [grunts]
It's-it's the message! Hurry!
[radio static crackling]
Darn it! The signal's too weak in here.
Guys! Quint! Dirk! Jack!
I need help with the radio!
Ugh, where is everybody? Don't they care?
This is everything we've been working for!
Grr! Ah! Ah!
Argh! Ah!
[panting]
[snaps]
[burps]
[groans]
Hey, that don't look too bad.
[sniffs] Ah, and it smells great!
[gasps] It's looking at me!
Sure is. And it's gonna keep lookin' 'til
you shove it down your fat human pie hole.
'Cause in my dimension,
this is a delicacy that must be eaten
alive. [chuckles]
Whoa, hey, I-I don't know about that.
I-It's not just disgusting,
it seems, you know,
uh, cruel, to-to the dessert.
Are all humans warthog-sized wusses
or is it just you?
But if it upsets your
[baby talk] human sensibilities,
then, by all means, don't eat it.
-Phew!
-That's it, you all heard it.
You heard it, right? He forfeits.
Not a monster, never gonna be one.
-Hmph!
-[hisses]
[water dripping]
[groans]
[growls]
-[shrieks]
-Ugh!
Hey! You! Tall, dark, and nasty smelling!
I'm here! The kid you keep picking on!
And I'm not leaving 'til I find out
why you're dogging me
or wretching me,
or whatever you're doing!
[shrieks]
What do you want from me? Yah!
[taps]
[shrieks]
Ah!
[growls]
I'm sorry. Ha ha.
[shrieks]
[whimpers]
[screeches]
-[shrieks]
-Uh-oh.
Oh, no, there better not be
100 little baby wretches
that come swarming out of there.
[haunting voice]
Jack.
Oh, no. That voice. It can't be!
Jack.
Rezzoch.
Oh, I thought I was dealing with
an overgrown bird with body odor, not you!
Yes, I am Rezzoch.
You know me, as I know you.
You don't know anything about me.
You are the one who felled Blarg,
who defeated Thrull,
who wounded the mighty creature
before you with your weapon.
Okay, maybe you know
a few things about me,
b-but what's my favorite color?
I have been seeking
a pathway into your world.
Wrong! Sea foam green.
And our world is full up right now.
Didn't you see the "no vacancy" sign?
I have been searching for a host.
And when you opened
the flesh of this beast
-Huh!
-I saw an opportunity.
-Yah!
-[shrieks]
[Rezzoch]
And I took it.
-Your weapon
-[shrieks]
the blade that felled my emissary,
created an entryway for my energy.
[Jake]
It's just a baseball bat.
[screeches]
[Rezzoch]
My intrusion took its toll
on this creature,
but it served my purpose.
Nice bedtime story to tuck in
all the little baby Rezzochs at night.
But I'm not in the mood for fairy tales
right now. Yah!
-[shrieks]
-Huh! Ah!
Psych! Huh!
Ugh.
I am not done with you yet, Jack Sullivan.
You just don't give up, do you!
Well, you should 'cause I, I
No, here we go again!
[panting]
Come on, Quint. Keep up.
Can't stop now. [pants]
Can't stop ever.
[panting]
Ugh! No! That isn't real!
You're trying to hurt me again!
No, I'm trying to help you.
You humans can only see the present.
I show you glimpses of the future.
Those visions aren't the future.
There has to be another way!
Now, you understand.
These visions need not come to pass.
You could live in peace
with your companions.
Never alone again.
Okay. Good. Better. Keep talking.
All you must do is
finish what Thrull began.
Open the door
and bring me into your world.
Ugh.
[whines]
Eat it.
Oh, man.
-Eat it!
-Oh, but
A picture is worth 1000 words.
And all of those words are eat it!
Ohh.
-[whines]
-[groans]
-No!
-[squeaks]
I can't eat a living creature.
It's too cruel.
[cries] Oh, no!
[monsters cheer]
Y-You passed.
I knew he would! I said so.
What?
[laughs] It was a test of your compassion!
You have the heart of a true monster!
You passed!
[cheering]
This dimensions sucks zombie eggs.
Ha! I did it!
[coos]
-[pencil scratching]
-[June] Hey, guys.
This is harder than I thought,
but
I'm leaving.
The radio is fixed but no one seems to be
taking it as seriously as I am.
I looked for you but everyone is gone.
I decided I can't keep waiting.
I have to act.
I'm taking the radio with me
and I'm heading out
to higher ground
to try to get a better signal,
to make contact with other people,
and hopefully find my parents.
[door creaks]
Before it's too late.
If I find my mom and dad,
or Quint's parents,
or anyone, I'll send help.
I was about to write that
I'll see you again real soon,
[snuffling]
but the way things
are in the world right now
[snuffling, panting]
guess that's not such a sure thing.
[whimpers]
Thanks for everything.
[whimpers]
-June.
-[whimpers]
Seventy-two tasks complete.
I am on top of it today.
[Rezzoch]
You know it is the only way.
Keep your friends.
Help me cross over
to your world.
[squelching]
[shrieks]
You know, your new body
ain't looking so hot,
and I'm not about to let you
move into mine.
So, I think it's time to
kick your wretch-y butt.
[Rezzoch laughs]
Even in its decaying state,
the body I inhabit is more than a match
for a lone human boy.
[shrieks]
Who said I was alone? Now!
And I'm no boy. I'm Jack the Maniac!
Puny human! Rah!
-[ax clangs]
-[shrieks]
-Yah!
-[shrieks]
Skaelka! Uh-yah!
-[slices]
-[screeches]
-Yah!
-[shrieks]
Ugh!
-[shrieks]
-Oh, boy!
-[shrieks]
-Ah!
[screaming]
-[Jack panting]
-[screeches]
[panting]
[cracking]
[gasps] Skaelka!
[crumbling]
The column!
Use your plan!
-Ugh! Hah!
-[clangs]
[shrieks]
Whoa!
Rahh! Ah!
Whoo!
Ah!
-[shatters]
-[shrieks]
Nice plan, Jack the Maniac!
[groans]
We did it!
So much for the mighty Rezzoch.
[Rezzoch]
While you wasted time in battle,
I ordered my army
to destroy your home and friends.
What?
[shrieks]
[theme music playing]