The Suite Life on Deck (2008) s03e06 Episode Script

Come on, man.
Make this field goal.
Then when we win, they owe us smoothies.
That is precisely why I am judging the wind's direction.
- Miss miss miss! - Oh, just hurry.
- My fingers are getting tired.
- Oh, this coming from the man.
Who once picked his nose for three straight hours.
I think I actually pulled out a tiny piece of brain.
More than a tiny piece.
You missed.
You guys now owe us smoothies, Which I now have to make.
Didn't think that through.
Hey, everybody.
I'm back from kettlecorn.
Bailey! I mean Bailey, right? - Right.
And which one are you, Zack or Cody? - Mmm.
So, guys, what's new? - I've got a newunion.
- I saw Woody's new bunion.
I got nauseous at the sight of Woody's new bunion.
Any non-bunion-related news? - Not really, no.
- Nope.
No.
Well, I'm writing a hip hora.
- What's a hip hopera? - Well, it's a rap musical.
I figured if green day can take their album to Broadway, I can do the same with my megahit "retainer baby.
" Green day is one of the most popular bands in the world, While you wrote a song about a girl with bad teeth.
Look, "retainer baby" is about much more than that, okay? It's an epic love story about a social outcast.
And the handsome, big-hearted boy who sees her inner beauty.
I require that wire.
oh ayh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows - we say - Hey-ho, let's go! - oh ay oh - This boat's rocking - oh ay oh - Ain't no stoppis now ♪ 'cause we're living the suite life ♪ - ♪ oh ay oh ♪ - ♪ This boat's rocking ♪ - oh ay oh - Rocking the wle orld round and we're living the suite life now hey ho! Oh ay oh let's go! Oh no.
Look at this mess! - Where's Cody?! - In here.
I hate my job.
Oh! Oh hi, Mr.
Moseby.
I can come back when you're done playing.
Oh! I'm not playing.
A little help here! Okey-dokey.
Sorry, sir.
I forgot you're a grown man who weighs as much as a baby.
- Can I help you up? - No thanks.
I'm good.
Frankie, why aren't you finishing construction on the aqua lounge? Mr.
Tipton is demanding that we open Friday.
Really? Because I didn't know that from the hundreds of texts, The countdown calendar and the hourly visits.
Oh, by the way, I did not appreciate the one when I w in the shower.
It wasn't the highlight of my day either.
Just get it done.
I have enough trouble trying to find a new Sushi chef! Mr.
Moseby, This could be a lucky day for the both of us.
It just so happens I am quite the whiz with wasabi.
- Yeah.
- I'd like to offer my services.
As your new Sushi chef.
Ease, Cody.
This is a world-class ship.
Oh darn.
Coffin? Dirt? Bailey? I like where this is going.
It's not a coffin.
It's a planter.
Working back on the farm made me realize.
How much I miss helping things grow.
With just a spoonful of seeds and a skyful of sunshine.
You're not gonna start singing, are you? Guess not.
I thought I'd start a garden here in our room.
You know, I hate that word "our.
" Thanks to my new super-duper fertilizer, Before you know it, we'll have bushels of yummynips.
- Eww.
What are those? - Oh, it's a hybrid vegetable.
Combg the swt taste of con.
With the hearty fiber of parsnips.
Ugh.
Ooh ooh I have an idea.
Quick tell me before it dies of loneliness.
Well, we could plant something that people want, - Like carats.
- That's the spirit.
Here, plant this.
It's only five carats and I want it to grow bigger.
One Cara for ea I.
Q.
Point.
And done.
You know what I love more than funnel cake? Nothing.
Zack, I finished my hip hopera.
I'm gonna send it to some hotshot Broadway producers.
- But fore I do, tell me what you think.
- All rit.
Dot, dot, circle, circle with a stick, Dot with a stick d a feather.
This doesn't make ansense.
Those are notes.
I've got a note for you boring.
Look.
Don't you know.
People in show business have no imagination? You've gotta show 'em the goods.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
Maybe I can make a little demo video and send it to 'em.
- You can be my meraman.
- Why would do that? Well, I'll give you 20% the first dollar gross.
Plus a piece of the merandising.
Uh, I don't know.
- How about a funnel cake? - Done.
Wow, the aqulounge looks awesome.
Mrmoseby says we're not supposed to be in here.
- Until it's officially open.
- I know.
But I need to practicemy Sushi s.
On the special Sushi surface.
- Eesh.
- Shush.
W, mr.
Moseby.
- We're still on schedule.
- No no no! - This is all wrong.
- What? This is built exactly to your specifications.
I even lowered the height of the stools so your feet wouldn't dangle.
And I appreciate that.
What I meant was.
The is a streakon poseidon'.
- Excuse me? - Well, I thought iwas betr.
Than barnacle bill's blowhole.
Yeah.
Shark! That's a dolphin.
Either way, I need to go change my pants.
Thank goo.
I couldn't hold my breath any longer.
Why were you holding your breath? We just had to be quiet.
Now you ll me.
Whoa.
- Relax.
It's a sujihiki.
- A who-ji-whatey? No, a hujiwati I for cutting fruits and vegetables.
The sujihi is for the delicate job of filleting fis.
And should only be used by trained professionals.
Oh whatever.
Hurry up.
I'm hungry.
Patiencewoody-san.
I will now ppare a dish I like to call.
The Cody roll of delight and wonder.
The secret ingredient is the most rare of all Japanese dicacies The gero squid.
Ooh, that sounds tasty.
What does "gero" mean? Vomit.
What, was the market out of booger slugs? Now now.
It's called the vomit squid.
Because if prepared improperly it can make you sick.
But a good Sushi cf Knows how to use the smalpart of the squid.
That is both safe and delicious.
Woy, did you just eat what wasn the plate? No.
Ody, that was the part I was gonna throw away.
You ate the poison sac! Uh-oh.
I think maybe I should go to the doctor.
I don't think the poison sac agrees with me.
It doesn't agree with anye, Ergo "the poison sac"! Ooh! Wow.
Yeah, it's my costume for the ening number "crooked.
" great, huh? Okay.
And action.
the kids in the playgroun turned their backs just 'cause we're all out of whack it's our fat camisha sits alone no texts coming on in this girl's pho we're pointing ea, West, north, South so camisha's got one ugly mouth .
Oh, man.
Ll this and funnel cake too? Oh no! I see a crack! Rry.
Mbad.
Uh-oh.
Huh.
'M probably gonna have to fix that.
Okay, guys, check it out.
I've vamped it up atle bit.
now we're straight thanks to these braces but all t kids, they still make faces.
except one boy who gives a grin well, he can see past all this tin we were pointing East, West, north and South camisha got one ugly mouth.
.
AndUt! Thanks, girls.
Thank you.
So what do you guys think? Are all the songs about teeth? I like the girls, but I think I'd have you extracted.
My thoughts exactly.
I'm not talking about his show.
I'm talking about my stomach.
- Cody tried to poison me.
- Oh, .
I left food on alate and warned you not to eat it.
Officer, take me away.
You kids.
My underwater lounge is now completely underwater! So that's good, right? No, it's not good.
It's ruined.
I have put up with a lot om you hooligans, But this time you have crossed the line.
Mr.
Tipton is furious and so am I.
Whoer done this, oever is ree.
Will be expelled immediately and kicked off of this ship.
Wow.
I haven't seen moseby that angry.
Since I was five and told him I wished he'd disappear.
Well, all kids get mad at grownups and say things they don't mean.
Yeah, but I actually hired some guys to do it.
He didn't find his way back to the hotel for a whole month.
I can't believe moseby is gonna kick someone off the ship.
This is horrible.
It wouldn't be the same if one of us left.
Yeah, I've never had friends like you guys.
Well, actually I've never really had friends.
Even as a kid, all I had was imaginary acquaintances.
Who could've done something so incredibly stupid.
And destructive? I'm pretty sure they're talking about you.
Well, we're gonna miss you, Zack.
Hey hey hey hey.
Why do you all assume I did this? I haven't pulled a prank since I put the liquid soap in the ship's horn.
When did you do that? This morning.
Wow.
Huh.
Mommy is proud of you! Uh-oh.
Auntie london is not gonna be happy when she sees you.
Oh, she sees it.
And she is not happy, But she doesn't care, because she'll be Wait.
Who am I talking about again? - You.
- Oh.
Well, I'll be leaving the ship.
- Once I confess to flooding the aqua lounge.
- It was you? Heck no.
I just want to get off this floating jail.
But, london, this is serious.
One of our friends is gonna get kicked off of the boat.
What are you doing? I always harvest when I'm upset.
Wow.
These roots are strong.
And long.
Oh no, this is bad.
My super-duper fertilizer must've made the roots grow.
Right through the planter and the floorboards.
What if they expanded right through the hull of the ship, Compromising its integrity And eventually cracked the window in the aqua lounge? Uh-oh.
It's my fault.
I broke the aqua lounge.
I'm gonna get expelled and kicked off the ship.
You know, Woody, This whole aqua lounge disaster might be my fault.
- What do you mean? - Well, after you left the lounge to barf, I kept practicing my Sushi skills.
Oh! My sujihiki! Maybe the knife hit the window.
And caused a hairline fracture that I didn't see.
Uh-oh.
Proving once again.
No good can come from your sujihiki.
I can't let Zack get expelled for something I did.
Well, on the other hand, I love everything about school.
While Zack just thinks of it as a place to sleep between naps.
Well Actually, now that I think about it, It might be my fault.
See, right after I ran out of the aqua lounge, I made a beeline for the bathroom.
- Get-get-get-get - Oh! Oh! Ladies room! That Sushi did not agree with me.
The buildup of gas in the plumbing Must've been too much for them to bear And the vibrations caused the window to break.
Uh-oh.
Woody, I really don't think that could happen.
Oh yeah? One Thanksgiving, I blew my grandmother's septic tank clear out of the ground.
It was shot down over Canada.
- Confess.
- Never.
- I know you did it.
- I didn't.
Ooh, that's what you would say if you were guilty.
And what would I say if I weren't guilty? You're always guilty.
Mmm, yeah, that seems fair.
- Moseby.
- Mmm? I want you to know that the aqua lounge was all my fault.
- Aha! - Your fault? How so? I don't know.
Just call daddy and have him throw me off the ship.
- Oh.
- He won't be surprised.
I've been thrown out of lots of stuff Preschool, middle school, High School.
Dance club, glee club, Switzerland.
Mr.
Moseby, I need to tell you that what happened.
- To the aqua lounge was all my fault.
- Aha again! My cornsnips grew into the bulkheads.
- Excuse me? - Mr.
Moseby, The aqua lounge was all my fault.
I'm out of ahas.
My sujihiki hit the window.
- Excuse me? - Mr.
Moseby? The aqua lounge was all my fault.
My powerful bowels have struck again.
Excuse me? No, excuse me.
Okay, look.
I see what's going on here.
You're all covering for Zack.
Now your loyalty is admirable, however, Mr.
Tipton is demanding that someone be punished.
Well, you're not punishing Zack, - Because he's innocent.
- Oh no.
I know, I know.
The aqua lounge was all your fault.
Heck no, but it wasn't Zack's either.
He couldn't have done it.
He's been with me nonstop filming my hip hopera.
And this timecode here proves it.
Oh, thank you, buddy.
Oh, so I guess it's no one's fault.
That my aqua lounge is underwater up to here? What's that, like a foot and a half of water? Big deal.
Mr.
Moseby, I think I got to the bottom of things.
- And? - It seems something clogged an air duct 'causing an internal rupture which cracked the window.
- Oh.
- Was it my cornsnips? - Was it my sujihiki? - Was it my powerful bowels? Nope.
Nope.
Eww! It was this pocket hanky.
Apparently you dropped your hanky into the vent.
When you got scared by that dolphin and wet your pants.
Oops.
Ah! It's Mr.
Tipton.
He's going to want to know who to throw off the ship.
I don't want to leave! We can't let Mr.
Tipton fire Mr.
Moseby.
Oh, give me the phone.
Daddy, I flooded the aqua lounge.
It was all my fault.
Yup, it's Switzerland all over again.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Bye, daddy.
Well, did he kick you off? Nah, he just cut my allowance by 50,000 a week.
Looks like no one's leaving the ship after all.
Yes! I'm leaving the ship! - What? - But it's moseby's fault.
Oh no, I know, but I just got an email.
From those producers about my hip hopera.
They said it was the most ridiculous thing they've ever seen.
Then why are you so happy? They said it's gonna be the next big comedy.
They're moving my whole family to New York.
I'm gonna star in a Broadway show.
I'm gonna be the lead tooth.
Comedy? I thought you said it was a serious love story.
About overcoming adversity.
Look, it's a stupid song about a girl with bad teeth.
retainer baby, retainer baby - I require the wire - Retainer baby .
Well, I guess it's cake time.
Well, Mr.
Moseby.
Thanks again for everything.
Before I left, I wanted to give you a little something.
Oh no.
Please, Marcus, you don't need to do that.
Your friendship is gift enough.
Well, it's a lil little t-shirt.
Made into a pocket hanky.
This is the best gift ever! Oh, this reminds me.
Of my goodbye party when I left kettlecorn.
Except you're leaving and I'm not.
And we're in a boat and not in a barn.
And there's not a giant twister bearing down on us.
- Oh, Marcus, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Well, Woody, I'm gonna miss you.
Marcus, I always thought of you as a brother A real brother, not like Steve's kid Neil, Who's 40 years old and lives in my tree house.
Well, I've got nothing to say to that, So let's just cut right to the man hug.
I'm going to miss you, Marcus.
I just wanted to say good luck, big guy.
To think you'll be entertaining people.
While promoting proper dental care.
Oh, I am so proud of you.
- I'm gonna miss you, Cody.
- I'm gonna miss you too.
Zack, I think I'm gonna miss you most of all.
Hurtful.
I'm gonna miss you too, buddy.
You know what? You were the only roommate I've ever had that I didn't hate.
Hurtful.
Well listen, guys.
I just wanna say thank you for everything.
Before I came here I was going through a really really tough time.
But you guys, you took me in.
And made me feel like family.
And I will always be grateful to you.
- So thank you.
- Oh, that's wonderful.
And if you guys are ever in New York, Please just look me up.
You know what? We might just do that someday.
Oh! Someday? How about now?! Take me with you! - Oh, okay.
- Next stop Tiffany's! Whoo! Thank you for giving me this opportunity, Mr.
Moseby.
We'll see.
My palate is very discerning.
Did you just eat what was on that plate? Yes, why? That was the poison sac! Oh dear! Does this mean I don't get the job? Okay, I'm no iron chef, But you might want to start serving something without poison in it.
Just a thought.