UnREAL (2015) s03e06 Episode Script

1 Dad, we have to get you out of here.
The woman is a monster.
This all stops, today.
- Stupid bitch.
- Please don't go.
Please.
Withdrawing from lithium no joke.
- We're talking tremors - I understand.
That's exactly why I have him here, so I can keep an eye on him.
I really like your cabin, by the way.
I think it could be really good.
You know, for both of us.
No.
What? No, no, no, no.
Chet.
- I miss you.
- I know.
Sissy Bounce came from Xavier.
I wouldn't even know what it is without him.
- Who the hell's Xavier? - My boyfriend.
I-I mean, I always just imagined he'd be a big part of the show.
Yeah, that's a sticky one.
For you.
- I need more cocaine.
- I cannot do this.
What are you doing? You give me something, I give you something.
[UNZIPPING.]
AUGUST: Jasper's here on a bet.
He gets $400,000 if he's the first one to sleep with you.
Wait.
I really need to speak to you.
There's something Oh, what, about the bet? Yeah, I know all about it.
You lost.
I slept with the jockey night one.
I know that you've been stealing $18 million from me and Chet.
You're gonna pick up "Passport to Dance," and you're going to give us four shows by the end of the year.
I made $9 million today.
To $9 million.
[CHUCKLES.]
To $9 million.
I'm glad you're doing well, Dad.
Well, I feel surprisingly good.
I'm just so grateful, Rach.
You did for me what I could never have done for myself.
You got me out.
Thank you.
Okay, let's keep a low profile today.
I just wanna keep you close until you finish tapering off those meds, but I am working on a plan.
You're sure it's okay for me to be here? Yes, of course.
Come on.
You're my dad.
All right.
What do you say, should I get us some breakfast? - Huh? - Hmm! You and me, lox and bagels, like we used to? - Lox and bagels? - JEREMY: Mr.
Goldberg? Jeremy! [LAUGHS.]
Hey! How are you? Good to see ya.
Uh, you too.
- Uh, what brings you to "Everlasting"? - Just visiting.
- At 6:00 a.
m.
? - Yeah.
Dad, why don't you head in? I'll get those bagels.
Okay.
Jeremy, good to see you.
You, too.
Rachel, is he staying with you? In In your truck? It's complicated.
What's going on? You okay? Please don't say anything.
And then at the end, the winning team escapes, hence "escape room.
" It's really hot right now.
Yeah.
No.
'80s-themed Tahoe ski weekend? Serena, what do you want to do? Thank you for asking, Rachel.
I would like to sit with the guys, one-on-one, and talk.
- Just talk.
- Talk? Yeah.
I want unlimited time to get to know who these guys really are.
Yeah, Quinn's not really gonna go for that.
That sounds great, actually.
Love it.
- Are you crazy? - Thank you.
Hey, hi.
Thank you so much for calling me back.
We spoke a few weeks ago about the cabin at Mount Hood? REALTOR: Yeah, it was six weeks ago.
And when I never heard back from you, I just assumed you weren't interested.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm still really interested.
Well, I got a couple willing to buy it now at above asking.
Um, hey, look.
Can I Can I just, like, try speaking to the owner like five minutes, just so I can explain to them how much this place means to me? Please.
[SIGHS.]
I'll see what I can do.
QUINN: Interviews? That's boring.
She just wants to "talk"?! Who would ever sign off on that? Um, that one right there.
- Rachel! - Yeah? So, you sanctioned today's snooze-fest? I mean, like I had a choice.
Serena completely despises us right now.
I mean, this was the only way to calm her down - and make her think she's in control.
- Okay, fine.
But then what am I going to put on television that people are actually going to want to watch? Don't worry.
She's gonna do these dumb interviews, and then we'll make her pick some guy.
She's gonna have this, like, uber romantic one-on-one date.
- [SCOFFS.]
- In a few hours, this place is gonna be.
- "Everlasting" on 'roids.
- All right, look.
I-I just I want a romance explosion, all right? Flowers, candles, and somebody's tongue down someone's throat! I'm on it.
Look, it's not working.
Sure, Serena's the Feminist Suitress tough career woman finds love, I get it.
Okay, this is premium, elevated - An Emmy? - That is our long game.
But right now, we need eyes on the show.
We need to get the word out that we are pushing boundaries.
I like it.
What are you thinking? Something buzzy, unexpected, headline-worthy.
A scandal with a dark secret, but enough "Everlasting" romance to keep things wet.
I'm about to explode.
That sounds so good.
What is it? You tell me, Mr.
Zeitgeist.
'Cause once we find it, we're golden.
- Rachel.
- RACHEL: Yes.
How's your dad? He's, uh, great, actually.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
No withdrawal symptoms yet? Dizziness, agitation, tremors? No.
He's reading and resting.
Okay.
Well, it's only been 24 hours.
We still don't know what's coming.
Listen, um I got the name of a place.
It's not far away.
You could visit.
He could get real supervision.
It's pricy, but I think it's worth it.
I'm telling you, we don't need it.
You should see him.
He's better than he's been in years.
This is absolutely the right thing to do.
- Okay, get it! Get it! Mine! - Okay.
All right.
You, uh, come up with anything? You know, each one of these guys is a potential story.
We just have to point a camera at them and find it.
Dad?! - Dan, hey.
- Yeah? Have you seen an older guy around? - Like Gary? - No, no.
Not Gary.
A guy in a brown jacket.
- Um, has anybody seen - No, Dan.
Forget it.
Just don't say anything.
[SIGHS.]
Okay! Let's, uh, break up into teams the shirts versus the skins! - There you go.
- Actually, he meant skins versus skins.
All right, everyone's shirts off! Wardrobe, take their shirts! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Hey! Where is Jeremy? We gotta be getting this on film.
This is Um, I think he's at the camera truck.
You want me to get him? No, there's no time, okay? Uh, so, today's your lucky day, Peppermint Patty.
Let's roll.
Get it up on your shoulder.
Copy.
Come on, come on.
Excuse me.
JEREMY: Rachel? - Yeah.
- Hey, what's going on? Nothing.
Does this have something to do with your dad? [SIGHS.]
I I just I can't find him.
I'm really worried.
Quinn really just can't know that he's here.
He's coming off his meds.
Go.
I'll watch the monitors.
You go find him.
[ROBIN LOXLEY'S "AIN'T NO WAY" PLAYS.]
You heartbreaker Sold me down the line - You soul taker - Whoo! - Took away my life - [CHUCKLES.]
So, which one of these guys has a deep, dark, buzz-worthy secret? August is an open book, so no secrets there.
[SCOFFS.]
Uh, Jasper.
No, not Jasper.
We can't reveal the bet yet.
And plus, he's still a wifey, all right? We need somebody who is not gonna mess up the long game with Serena.
I got it! ALL: Oh! - Hmm.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[LAUGHTER.]
That'll work.
[RADIO STATIC.]
JEREMY: Rachel to Serena's room.
Stat.
Oh, God.
SERENA: Can't even take a shower in privacy? Can one of you, like, stand and guard the door - so I can wash this sham - What? What happened? I was in the middle of a shower, and this guy just wondered into my room! Rach! Look, I am so sorry.
I just I just wanted to find a bathroom, and then I got turned around, and this place is so huge.
Rachel, you know this guy? Uh, hey! What is going on here? So you're Quinn, huh? Yeah, I heard so much about you.
That's creepy.
Okay.
Who the hell are you? Yeah, I would like to know, too.
This is my dad.
Why the hell is your dad on the set? He Look, he's just visiting for the day.
Oh, really? Is your mom gonna join him? - 'Cause I'll go get my battle armor.
- No, okay? This is just some long-overdue father-daughter bonding time, you know? No, I don't know, Rachel.
Having quality father-daughter time on the set of "Everlasting"? That makes no sense.
Okay.
Look, I am so sorry that he got in the way.
I promise you won't see him again, okay? But maybe after the interviews, Madison could just cover the one-on-one.
Absolutely not.
You can do "Take Your Daddy To Work Day" some other time.
I need you on that date and I need you focused.
Okay.
It's fine.
I just thought that you and Madison No, Madison may be able to screw her way into useful information, but she cannot perform your voodoo.
You said you wanted to find Serena love, so go find it for her.
That wedding you did with that Adam guy a couple seasons ago I never saw it coming.
Are you kidding me? You watch the show? Eh Don't tell your mother.
No, I mean, y-you're not there to talk to.
It's the next best thing.
But now I get to see you do it in person.
I am so thrilled.
Can I, you know, stay and watch for a little while? Come on, please? - Okay, for a little while.
- Okay, thanks.
[RADIO STATIC.]
We need Alexi at makeup and hair.
Hey! Bom, bom! What you think? Russian James Bond.
Look.
Whatever happened between us, it cannot happen again.
I have a boyfriend, and you are here to date a woman.
Actually, I think that now I'm here just to do.
- "Dance for Passport," no? - It's "Passport to Dance.
" Same-same.
The point is, we are working together so gorgeously, why mess with success? - No, I can't.
- I need refill.
Already? [SCOFFS.]
No.
No way.
Yes way.
It will be worth it.
Trust me.
- XAVIER: There you are! - [DOOR CLOSES.]
Xavier, what are you doing here? Making sure you eat something healthy for a change.
Hey, Sissy Boy! He should be on our show.
It's perfect.
[LAUGHS.]
What, "Everlasting"? No, no, no.
This [SNAPS FINGERS.]
"Passport for Dance.
" What are you talking about? That's our show.
Right? I need touch-up.
What the hell's going on, Jay? Alexi's an international star who can bring eyeballs to the show.
So, is he a producer? He's the host.
- I thought I was - Look, I'm trying to get you approved as a segment host, okay? I'm doing everything I can to keep you involved here.
How long have you known about this? [SIGHS.]
Since before the pitch.
- When were you gonna say something? - Xave, I wanted to Jay, we really need your help with these interviews, okay? I have to Are you seriously gonna walk away from me right now? I am at work, Xave.
I have to work.
We'll talk about this later.
The architecture of romance must be built upon a bedrock of trust, knowledge, and understanding.
And today, Serena wants to investigate what these men are really made of.
Charlie Rose clipping his toenails from jail would get better ratings than this! Plug these in, there you go, so you can listen, okay? Thank you.
Sure, of course.
- Hey, Rachel.
Do you have a minute? - Yes, of course.
- So, look.
I know I'm Madison's guy.
- Right.
But you seem to know Serena better than anybody else here.
And to be honest, I'm not getting any traction with her.
I'm not gonna come up with a joke for this interview, so Oh, okay.
Seriously, don't even worry about a joke, okay? You just do what you do best.
You're an amazing guy.
MAN: Okay.
Rolling on Alexi interview in three, two So, Alexi.
Tell me about your history with substance abuse.
- Sorry? - Your very public drug problem.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, that.
No, no, no, no, no.
Drugs are so bye-bye.
Now my only drug is love.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, you.
- So, Owen.
- [LAUGHS.]
What would you do differently in a second marriage? I'd make sure that I was there for it.
Family is the most important thing in the world to me.
- Oh, Lord.
- [LAUGHS.]
So, August, how many women have you slept with? Oh, hello! [LAUGHS.]
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES.]
Hey, can you cover me for five? Do I have a choice? Dad, are you gonna be okay here for a few? Oh, I'm great.
I'm great.
I'm great.
Okay.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
My idea of a perfect day? First, we wake up with the sun.
To the sweet smell of cowboy perfume.
What's cowboy perfume? That's horse manure.
- Just an old rancher joke.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You ready for this? - So ready.
Mmm.
Mmm! I look forward to hearing your decision.
You know what? I think my, uh I think my mouth just decided.
No.
No.
Actually, no, Serena, hold on.
Um, you still need to hear from Jasper.
No, I don't.
I don't need to hear from anyone else.
I choose Guy! CHET: No, no, no, no! She can't! She can't choose Guy.
Guy's gotta stay back here and have a gay love affair with Warren.
Relax, Chet, all right? She just gave us a love triangle.
Oh! Look, to be honest with you, this cabin is what's kept me going.
And now, it just really means more to me than ever.
I mean, to me and my dad.
He's gonna come and help me get settled, fix the place Listen, that's sweet and all, but this other couple offered above asking.
Okay.
W-What if I get you $75,000 cash tomorrow? And I can get you the other half in a month once I finish this job.
Full cash offer? Now you're speaking my language.
How about you give me the day? - Okay.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
Look, I'm really sorry, babe.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
All the time I've been cooking for you, making a home, figuring out how to tell your mom about us all that time, you knew? Okay, look, Xave, um, I-I can get you a finder's fee.
It's not a lot, I know, but, Xave, that's the business.
It's not about It's not about the business, Jay! It's about you lying to the one person who showed up for you.
Are you sleeping with him, too? I-Is that why you're doing this? - Xave, stop.
- O-Or maybe that's what you're hoping for.
No! Stop.
I moved my life out here for you, Jay.
I gave up everything.
[SCOFFS.]
Yeah? Well, I never asked you to.
And honestly, Xave, it's a little much.
Like, showing up at my work unannounced, moving in, like, surprising me with protein shakes and shit.
Can you just chill for like one second, seriously? Maybe I should go home.
Yeah, maybe you should.
I meant to New Orleans, Jay.
I know.
I think maybe this whole thing was a mistake.
I don't know.
I'm not really sure if it's my style, Zach.
- [LAUGHS.]
- It looks good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Maybe I should give it to my daughter You know Rachel, my daughter? Know her? I live in constant fear of Rachel.
- That's a compliment.
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh, yeah? Yes, sir.
She's a force of nature.
Keep the hat.
I think I'm gonna widen my demo.
I can't believe you don't have one of those already.
Yeah.
Well, it's a whole new world there, Rach.
Hey, Dad.
I'm so sorry I have to go on this date.
I mean, I'd much rather be here with you.
No, I'll be fine.
You just You do your work, all right? I'm so proud of you.
- I'll see you soon? - Okay.
[JORCK'S "AS WE ARE CHANGING" PLAYS.]
Changing our path There's nothing changed There's nothing changed Our lives will stay the same Our lives will stay the same And we are changing, we're changing Our lives will stay the same All right, let's serve up this beefcake and see if Serena takes a bite! Let's roll cameras! Bring the talent in, please! - And - Get down, get down! Here we go, and action! This'll do.
Restaurant's not bad, either.
- [LAUGHS.]
Can I take this for you? - Thank you.
After you.
Oh.
Such a gentleman.
Why am I sitting? I thought you were gonna teach me how to cook some things.
I will.
I just wanted to do this first.
Oh! Uh [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
I just You look so amazing.
I just kinda wanted to skip all five courses and jump straight to dessert.
Well, we will get there.
Uh, Just, let's start with the appetizer and really savor it.
- Coming right up.
- All right, and cut! Let's start getting ready for some food prep.
[TREADMILL BEEPS.]
Working it out, huh? - What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
You just seem a little stressed out, that's all, you know.
Not that I blame you.
You don't stand a chance with her.
Now might be time to consider bowing out gracefully.
Please.
I didn't get to where I am by giving up.
I thought you got to where you were by being a rich white dude from England.
Well doesn't hurt.
I felt like I needed to get you out of the mansion.
I feel bad for you, Warren.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, yeah? Now, why's that? I mean, I'm pretty kick-ass, if I do humbly say so m'self.
Well, I agree.
And that is why it feels so awful that Serena hasn't really given you a chance.
Yeah.
You know, some days, I don't even see her.
I mean, what do you do all day? Just chill with my roommate, mostly.
And who's that again? It's the cooker dude, Guy.
- Mm.
- Yeah, he's great.
The other night we stayed up till like 3:00 a.
m.
just playing cards, and he made us these fancy little pancakes.
- Mmm.
- [LAUGHS.]
That sounds fantastic.
You know, I gotta say, I never met no one like Guy before.
Really? [CHET SIGHS.]
- Chet.
- What? Hey.
What are you doing here? - I'm a producer.
I work here.
- Okay, hey.
Listen, listen.
If you want to take this and run with your vision, it's totally fine by me.
I can just head out.
Rachel, we both have jobs to do.
Yeah.
I mean, this show just does crazy things to your head.
But when I come back.
To my room and there's Guy, just a big ol' smile on his face with a cup of that mint tea he makes for me, just a drop of honey in there and a slice of this really delicious date-nut bread, mmm, he's amazing.
[LAUGHS.]
Warren are you gay? What? Where the hell'd that come from? Well, I mean, you're talking about fancy little pancakes and drops of honey.
I mean, not judging at all.
So, what, you see "Brokeback Mountain" one time and suddenly you think all good-looking single cowboys are gay? Well, not all of them.
But I-I mean, if you want to get something off your chest, this is a great opportunity.
And you'd only have to come out once, - because everyone would have seen it.
- Damn it, I'm not gay! Well, Mr.
Straight Cowboy, you don't have to convince me.
You need to convince Serena.
Well, where's she at? I'll tell her right now.
[SIZZLING.]
Oh, that sauce smells so good! - Yeah, right? - Can I taste it? - Nope.
- Please? No, it's not ready yet.
Well, then, put me to work, Chef.
Okay.
Now she's getting into it.
Look, you said it yourself.
Let's just savor each of these courses first.
Well, what if I'm tired of waiting? - Everybody freeze! Nobody move! - What? Just kiddin'! [CHUCKLES.]
I ain't robbin' y'all.
Just always wanted to holler that.
[WHISPERING.]
Go, go, go.
Guy, where are you?! Right here.
What are you doing here? Serena - [WHISPERS.]
I told the crew the plan.
- [WHISPERS.]
I hope this gets crazy.
I just want to put these hands all over you.
- Okay, um - I can't stop thinking about you.
I dream about you.
What are you two doing? We're just gathering, you know, alternative facts.
Hey, listen.
I'm all for secret plans, as long as I know what they are.
Otherwise, I'm just wasting my time - when I should be with my dad.
- Oh, relax, Rachel.
Your dad survived your mom for 30 years.
He can make it a couple more hours.
- Quinn - GUY: How much have you been drinking? You can't just storm in here and propose to the girl I'm on a date with! Guess what?! I just did! I can't believe you'd do this to me.
We're supposed to be going through this together.
We're on the same team.
Oh, God.
Excuse me.
I need you to know, and I will whoop your ass, bitch! This is crazy.
You should know how I feel about you, dude.
So, what, this is just another stupid rigged moment? Yeah, Serena, I swear I had, like, nothing to do with this.
Oh, yeah, right.
I don't believe you.
You have lost all credibility.
You don't give a shit about me.
Okay, that's not true.
I mean, I've treated you better than anyone that's come on this show, ever.
I'm trying to protect you.
I mean, it may not feel like that, but I am.
Yeah? So, why didn't you tell me about Jasper? Look, Jasper He had no idea who you were when he made that bet.
He came on the show, he actually fell for you, and like it or not, he's a great option.
I didn't want you to screw that up.
Because I'm just too dumb to understand any of that? You know what, Serena? I have got so much going on.
- I am a person.
I'm not just a job.
- This isn't about your life - or whatever's going on with your dad.
- Right, look.
I have put my entire life on indefinite hold for this show, for you, Serena.
So you know what? I am so sorry if things aren't as picture-perfect as you seem to believe you are.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
It's kinda hot in here.
Yeah.
Listen, I need to talk to you.
WOMAN: Here, people.
W-T-F? What the hell is this? Did you do this? - No.
- Who's the lucky dude? - QUINN: I have no idea.
- You guys should switch.
Chilean peonies are your favorite, right? - How did you know? - I did my due diligence.
I called in a few favors from the old South American Rolodex, and, uh, voilà.
Excuse us.
Please.
- These are for you.
- GUY: Unbelievable.
And, uh, this is what $400,000 looks like.
It's the money I could've won.
The money I never would've taken.
Screw this.
You spent $400,000 on me? - On flowers? - No, no.
- Uh, well, maybe $100,000.
- [LAUGHS.]
It was another $100,000 to Planned Parenthood, and then another couple hundred to Girls Who Code.
Look, Serena.
I need you to know that that bet, the money, none of it means anything compared to you.
I haven't got to where I am today without taking risks.
I can bet every single penny that I have that the same could be said of you.
So I'm asking you, please, take a risk.
On me.
Jasper, this is, um this is amazing.
I'll think about it.
What? What? $400,000, and she'll think about it? No.
No.
He's a wifey, for crying out loud.
Somebody go defrost that ice princess before the elimination ceremony! Jay, at least get her back out here for better reaction shots if you have to put audio on her back! Go, go! Ugh! JAY: Okay, all right.
You tried, man.
That's all you can do.
You need professional care, sir.
- It's a 30-day program - I just need Rachel to come home.
Do you really want to put that all on your daughter? She can handle it.
She's good at what she does.
Yeah, and that might be the problem.
Especially with a boss as demanding as Quinn.
What do you mean? What is Quinn doing? Is she hurting Rachel? I mean, I heard the way she was talking to her.
It's No.
No, no, no, no.
It's just From what I've learned, this place is more than anyone can handle.
Okay, what are you not telling me? [RYAN PATE AND OLLIE GABRIEL'S "I'M YOUR COWBOY" PLAYS.]
I'm your cowboy Take me to the rodeo Whoo! Chill with my roommate, mostly.
Guy.
He's great.
The cooker dude.
The other night we stayed up till like 3:00 a.
m.
[LAUGHS.]
It's delicious.
He's my boy.
I just want to put these hands all over you.
I can't stop thinking about you.
This is crazy.
You should know how I feel about you.
We're on the same team.
I dream about you.
Love me till I hit the floor Yeah! Till I hit the floor Love me till I hit the floor What the hell did you guys do? We're not gay! We're just following the story.
[LAUGHING.]
That's not the story! You guys put that together.
That's That's slander! You can't air that! Oh, of course we can't.
I mean, at least not without your permission.
- Which you'll never get! - Oh, that's too bad.
'Cause the truth is, tonight's probably the end of the line for you.
Things are looking a little dry with Serena.
- You're going home without a fiancée.
- Yeah.
And, you know, without even making, like, a real name for yourself or your culinary dreams.
Such a shame, 'cause it's such a good story.
I mean, after years of wondering why you're still single, you come on "Everlasting" only to discover the love you've been looking for in a man.
Oh, the eyeballs we'd get.
Oh, on the show, and on you! What are you suggesting? Uh, you know, part of me has always wanted to get into the restaurant business, right? - How 'bout you, Chet? - Well, you know that about me.
I've just been looking for the right chef to invest in.
Yeah, and all you have to do is lean into the narrative.
DR.
SIMON: It's complicated.
Rachel's history with this place I can't give you specifics, but Quinn hired me specifically to safeguard Rachel after what happened last year.
Why? What happened? Well, as you know, Rachel was hospitalized.
It was a real breakdown.
And I-I'm just saying, having you here may be more than Rachel's equipped to handle.
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
- Hey! What the hell are you doing? - Nothing.
I'm just talking to your dad.
- About what? Hon, I had no idea you were under so much stress.
- What did you tell him? - Nothing.
Dad, whatever he told you, it's a lie.
Rach, we have to do something.
Seriously, what is this?! Rachel, I was just explaining to your dad how challenging things are for you here.
Look, I don't want to be a burden, right? I just want to be a dad.
That's all I ever wanted.
- You've completely crossed the line.
- I didn't.
Yes, you did.
You went behind my back when you knew I'd be gone and put ideas in his head, when I explicitly told you that he was okay.
He's not okay! He's not well, Rachel.
He needs to be in a facility! Stop telling me what to do.
Dad? You're gonna be a tabloid hero.
And with all that press and our support, you could open a restaurant anywhere Weho, Chelsea Vegas.
On the strip.
None of this downtown resurgence crap.
- And I wanna be bi.
- Okay.
No problem.
Sexuality is so fluid these days.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
ASA: Quinn! Where the hell is Quinn King?! - Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
Where the hell is she?! All you people with your your cameras and your walkie talkies, and you're talking in her ear, trying to control her! I - I'm gonna need to get Rachel.
- Hey! I heard that.
WOMAN: What the hell is he talking about? I don't have voices in my ear.
I had Olive in my ear for a very long time, but I don't have her in my ear anymore.
- Mr.
Goldberg, I don't think this is - You stay right where you are.
Don't you come near me.
I see you.
What are you doing to her? You're hurting her, you know that? And you have to stop it.
I will not let you poison my little girl.
She has more more guts and more talent than any of you, and you are ruining her! Let me talk to him, all right? Dad.
I have to protect you.
I couldn't protect you before.
Listen, I don't need protecting.
It's okay.
No, sweetheart, it happened in my house.
What that man did to you was in my house.
It should've been the safest place of all for you.
- Come on.
It's okay.
- Please forgive me, sweetheart.
- Come on, Dad.
Come on.
- Can you forgive me? - Rach, let me - I'm okay.
I got it.
[LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Seriously? Shut the hell up! Show some respect! Chet! Put it down.
[WHISPERS.]
It's good drama.
Emmy.
This is real.
This is Rachel.
All right, guys.
Show's over.
Back to work! Does Olive know he's here? Yeah.
I mean, like, no, not really.
Quinn, look.
You don't even understand, okay? I mean, like, I had to get him away from her.
Your mom is a witch, I get it.
But your dad does not belong on set.
I'm just keeping him here until I can get him off all those drugs that she's forced on him all those years.
Like, I can do it.
I did it for myself.
I can help him.
He just needs to detox.
Okay, Rachel, you gotta take a beat, all right? I get it, but this is beyond you.
Your dad needs real help.
No, I can do it, Quinn, okay? I have to! Okay, listen to me, all right? I know you think that if you fix him, you'll somehow fix yourself, but that's not how it works.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Okay.
What? What is that? One lousy bouquet? What happened to the rest of peonies and Oh, my God.
What is on Graham's head? They say love is blind, but not for the lucky men for whom Serena will gift these Vesper GS-1 [POWER HUMS.]
Night Vision Goggles.
Wow.
Star light, star bright, first hot woman I see tonight is, oh, our Northern Star, Serena! [CLAPPING.]
Thank you, Graham.
The Vesper GS-1: See the Love.
Well, it's been another interesting evening.
- And - Wait! I'm sorry, Serena, but before this goes any further, I have something to say.
I'm cutting myself.
- Hmm.
- Excuse me? This is hard for me to talk about but there's actually someone here I care for who's not Serena.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You're beautiful and amazing, but this is all a lie.
Being here, I realized the truth about myself.
And I found a different kind of love.
I'm off to Sin City, folks! I'm opening a new restaurant in Vegas.
On the strip.
Coming 2019.
See? I told you guys he was here for all the wrong reasons.
Oh, my God.
Did you see that?! What, is he gay now or something? Ooh, that! The squeeze that launched a thousand Tweets! Hmm.
Well, can't wait for Twitter to get ahold of that.
Well.
That was unexpected.
But I still do need to cut one more of you tonight.
Warren, I get that you think that I'm the one for you, but I think you should go find the the person that you're supposed to be with as soon as you can.
Oh.
Bye-bye, Brokeback.
[CHUCKLES.]
That was a bonus, right? Yeah.
It's the perfect ending.
MAN: Okay, yeah.
That's a cut.
Can we get somebody in here to blow out these candles? You can't do this.
I can't do what? I didn't screw Guy not him or or any other dude, okay? How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not gay! Mm, except now, there's no way you can say that on TV without sounding like an asshole.
So, what am I supposed to do? This is my life! I make TV, Warren.
Life's not my problem.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, maybe it should be.
'Cause gettin' mercy slammed by a contestant half your age that's just sad.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
SERENA: Hey, Rachel.
Hey, um I'm, uh really sorry.
For what? I was callous and insensitive before.
I didn't realize you were dealing with so much.
It's, like, not your problem.
Is there anything I can do? No, it's fine.
Have a good night.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Rachel - I know.
Can we have a second? Daddy? [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Hey, Quinnie.
Is Rachel okay? [SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
She is always okay.
She's tough.
She's a fighter.
- Like you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[SIGHS.]
Listen.
Uh I really do appreciate you taking this Emmy thing seriously.
I know it sound crazy.
It's just I think this is my one shot at leaving a legacy to my son, who I'll probably never see again.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yes, you will.
You fight for everything.
You even came at me the other night.
- Which got me nowhere - But you tried.
So, why are you not trying for this? If you want to see your son, fight for him! You can win an Emmy, you can see your son, you can do whatever the hell you want.
But you have to fight.
Yeah.
Hey, you want these filters in the cart or on the truck? Jeremy? What? Um, yeah.
Thanks.
You should go talk to her.
I'm serious.
She needs someone right now.
Thank you.
It's too much, Rach.
No, it's fine, Dad, really.
It's what you need.
Rach? You in there? [HANDLE JOSTLES.]
Rach? Jeremy? What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm checking on Rachel.
Me, too.
Don't.
We cannot do this again.
Trust me.
Step away.
[JORCK'S "AS WE ARE CHANGING" PLAYS.]
[SNIFFING.]
[SIGHS.]
Why so sad? Sissy no bounce? We broke up.
I feel like shit.
This is what always makes me feel better.
Changing our path There's nothing changed There's nothing changed - Our lives will stay the same - [SNIFFING.]
Our lives will stay the same And we are changing, we're changing Our lives will stay the same - [CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
- Okay, good.
[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
[CELLPHONE RINGING.]
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hi! Oh Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
I was running a little bit late.
We had a I had to be in the editing, uh, bay.
I-I-I'm on my way, and I'm sorry.
Okay.
I lo Okay, you too.
Bye.
We're always driving Somewhere for someone And the roads stay the same And we change when we're standing still [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[RINGING.]
- REALTOR: Hello? - It's Rachel calling you back.
Hey, Rachel, whatever you said to the owners worked.
They're willing to cut you a deal, but they need that 75k tomorrow.
I don't have it.
I beg your pardon? The money I thought I had it, but I don't have it anymore.
It's all gone.
Changing our path There's nothing changed There's nothing changed Our lives will stay the same Our lives will stay the same And we are changing, we're changing Our lives will stay the same