Warehouse 13 s03e06 Episode Script
Don't Hate the Player
Previously on Warehouse 13 Hello there.
Agent Sally Stukowski, FBI.
I'm in charge of this investigation.
We're trying to help.
Well, we specialize in weird.
We can help you.
We We know stuff.
I'm Claudia.
Douglas.
Douglas Fargo.
Everyone just calls me Fargo.
Okay.
Doug.
I spent some time in a psyche research facility.
And I just told you I was in an institution, so I guess today's sharing day.
No more agents, dude.
What the Warehouse needs are interns.
Is that the whole order? Yeah.
Party fuel for a super fun night of inventory reports.
You know, Claud, I think some time you ought to bring your git box down here and rock out the locals.
Whatcha can, can, can wacka!" No.
No? No.
Come on.
You're really good.
You got to get out of your comfort zone.
You play at the B&B all the time.
Where no one can hear me.
Especially you.
Quit eavesdropping on me.
What's wrong with you? Here.
What's wrong with you? Artie, unblock your number.
Yes.
I made sure they used vanilla sprinkles as well as the soy whip.
Soy whip? No, no, no, I don't need soy whip.
I need to speak with someone named Claudia.
Who is this? This is Gibson, and he told me to call this number in case something went wrong with the beta test.
And something has gone wrong, really, really wrong.
And I'm the only one that's not veggin' Hey, hey, hey, Gibson, de-spazz for a second.
Who told you to call me? Fargo.
And I think he's going to die.
This is the address that Gibson dude gave me.
Urgh, reminds me of college.
Hey, Gibson! Back here! Oh, thank God you guys came.
They're, like, freaking out right now.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what to do.
They're like drooling and thugging out.
Oh, my God, Fargo.
Oh, no, don't touch the headband! Ooh! What do you think was the first thing I tried? Is this his heart rate? How long has it been that high? A few minutes.
He goes up and down.
All right, Gibson, is it? Yeah.
Who are you? Why are we here? And why is Fargo jacked into the Matrix? They're playing a videogame and I don't know how to get them to stop.
Oh Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, in here! This way Fargo can tell you himself.
Greetings, potential investors.
My name is Dr.
Douglas Fargo, world-renowned scientist, inventor, dreamer.
I'm here today to talk to you about an exciting new business venture, one that will change the standard of videogame entertainment for all humankind.
Welcome to Fargames.
Six months ago, two MIT graduates, Jerry Hoffler and Gibson Ryce came to me with an idea.
They called it the BRAID.
Bioelectric Reality Augmentation Interactive Device.
BRAID.
The BRAID creates artificial feelings, sights, sounds, smells, a full sensory-experience.
You don't just play the game, you live it.
Fargames.
Imagining Greater! So, Fargo and Jerry were beta-testing this game? Yeah.
Things were going great, but after a few hours their Pulses started to spike.
Look, Gibson, IT problems really aren't our area of expertise.
Isn't there someone in Eureka that could The BRAID never worked, did it? The human brain wouldn't accept the lie of artificial reality.
But Fargo thought he found something that would help.
They drank out of it before they started the test.
Damn.
The little geek found an artifact.
Agent Jinks! Thanks so much for comin' on such short notice.
Agent Stukowski.
Considering you tried to have me arrested the first time we met, I was a little surprised to get an SOS call from you.
Oh, no, that thing in Denver? Honey, water under the bridge.
Reason I called is I've got a real humdinger here.
And since you're organization specializes in weird, I thought I'd take a chance.
So, you came alone? Not quite.
How that little nerd get his hands on an artifact? I'll kill him! Now call Leena, she can help.
Eureka.
Oh, did you just figure somethin' out? What? No.
Who is this? FBI.
Agent Sally Stukowski.
This is Artie Agent Nielsen.
Pleasure.
Yes.
Thanks again for takin' time out of your schedule.
Y'all must be busy with whatever it is you do.
You want to just walk us through the scene? Yes.
Eric Johnson, 47, curator of the Hobbes Gallery, takes a dive out of this window here.
Official ruling is suicide, but I don't think so.
Co-workers and family say that he was excited about the exhibit opening next week.
No signs of depression or erratic behavior.
Hmm.
And And were there any witnesses? No.
He was workin' late.
Report says he was the only one in the building.
I'm sort of missing the weirdness here.
Coroner's report.
That's Mr.
Johnson? He only fell two stories, but the impact trauma, it's like he was skydivin' without a parachute.
That is weird.
And disgusting.
So, thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? Hypotheses? I got nothin'.
Coroner was right.
Suicide.
I beg your pardon? No, that's safety glass.
He couldn't have just jumped through it.
Oh, he took a running jump from all the way across the room, built up enough force and went right through the glass.
What? Saw it on MythBusters.
So, that's it then? Afraid so.
Good luck! Steve.
Oh.
This is the manager of the building.
The man thinks I work for him.
I'll show you out in a second.
We'll show ourselves out.
Thanks.
Perfect.
I could tell you were lying.
Yeah, that never gets old.
Take a look at that oil painting.
It's right across from the broken window.
It is a Van Gogh, Stormy Night.
Been missing for years.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's bounced around Europe since World War I and death has followed that painting wherever it's been spotted.
If it's an artifact, why don't we just take it? And tell 'em what? Their priceless painting murdered a man, please, can we have it? Look, Stukowski called us in.
Yeah, and I have no intention of giving her any more clues as to what it is we do.
No, no, no, no.
If we're going to get that painting We're going to have to steal it.
Does it look anything like this? It's an exact match.
No effect on Fargo or Jerry.
The Warehouse has the fourth cup.
All right, so what's the story? Well, the tea set belonged to Beatrix Potter, 19th century English writer.
Peter Rabbit, I love that book.
The league of evil British writers strikes again.
The rest of the set has been on Artie's most-wanted list for years.
Hey, "Used for brewing teas derived from rare fungi "cultivated by Potter during her time as a mycologist.
"The tea is known to stimulate the precuneus region of the brain.
" It's the imagination center.
I bet that's why Potter got into writing children's stories.
So, what, the tea set made her trip bunnies? Fargo must have figured it'd help do what the BRAID couldn't.
You know, make the brain experience total reality inside the game.
I've seen Potter's first editions in the Warehouse library.
Leena, can you send us scans? You got it.
Claudia! He just started doing this.
We got to get him out of there.
I've been reading the schematics, and I don't think there's anything we can do.
From out here.
So if you could never get 'em to work, why'd you make so many? Yeah, well, Fargo's not the most linear thinker.
Hey, I upgraded the hardware.
You should be able to incorporate that into that game.
You did this in 20 minutes? Quicker than Dominos.
Myka, that's an in-game communicator, so you'll be able to talk to us once we go inside.
Claudia and I'll go in, find him and boogie on back out to reality.
Game on, urban warrior.
Oh.
Okay, you both need avatars to play in the game.
What do you want to be? I'll be a bad ass.
What kind of game is this anyway? I just did the hardware, some sword and sorcery thing that Fargo wrote.
I think he's a Wizard.
I was going to be a Warlock Priest.
I'll just be myself.
Okay.
Are you sure it won't work without the tea? We tried.
If you don't drink, the game's just a game.
Fargo wanted more than that.
Yeah, looks like he got it.
Well, I'll be here to make sure that nothing goes wrong.
Or more wrong.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
No, no, no.
I was playing Frogger when you were just a tadpole.
Just to make sure the pop-out works, right? Mmm! Oh, man! Minty.
Hope there's no caffeine in there because Well, his His pulse is still normal.
Dude? Dude? You there? Yeah.
Yeah.
Hello? Can you hear me? Loud and clear.
Wow.
It's awesome in here.
Is that the Oh, man! Dude, look down at your belt.
Do you see the controller? The white thing with the button on top? Right.
Push the button.
Ooh, you guys got to see this.
Fill 'er up.
Is it me or does that look a little bit like Yep.
Fargo made a Warehouse 13 videogame.
And somewhere in there Fargo's having a seizure.
Whoa! And you are a stripper? What? No.
I'm a Gladiator.
It's cool, right? Yeah.
Nice skirt.
Nice ears.
Poin Pointy.
I'm an elf? I said myself.
You need to enunciate.
Now run to your tree and get me some cookies.
Halt, Players! Artie? I am General Arthur of the Queen's Royal Best! Now, Players, prepare for a life-ending quest, through bleak, barren lands you will stumble and blunder trying to find a world of bizarre endless wonder.
Whoa.
You see this? Yeah.
I can't really believe it though.
Welcome, Players, to Fortress 13, the most wondrous place that's never been seen.
Hidden deep in the valley of the land of bad, filled with dangerous relics, some evil, some mad! Oh! Artie is going to be deeply pissed.
The Princess is imprisoned high in the Black Tower.
Her life slipping way with each passing hour.
True heroes you are to take on this brave test.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Your Generalness, I am Peteimus Maximus of the Lattimer Legion.
This is my faithful squire, Claudi-elf.
We would love to save your princess, but are looking for two royal geeks.
True heroes you are to take this grave test.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Sure.
Glasses, unnatural attraction to computers.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Well, maybe it's just a program.
Fargo and Jerry must be further on in the game.
We're just going to have to play along if we want to find them.
Now! Will you accept your dangerous Sure.
Sure.
Why not? Welcome, Players, to Fortress Yes! Oh! Follow the path to the Cave of Forbidden Mystery.
There you must collect the Black Tower key, with it free the Princess and so save the day.
Great rewards await those who act the right way.
Cave of Forbidden Mystery, huh? Sounds cheery.
Myka-amus? Pete, how's it going in there? Well, so far so good.
No sign of the Parker Brothers yet.
But we're on a quest, and I have a really cool sword.
Oh, oh! What did I get? I got a vial of purple goo.
Great.
I wanted nunchucks.
Okay, look, you have to find Fargo and Jerry.
I don't know how much longer their hearts can beat at this rate.
Copy that.
Crash Bandicoot out.
Okay.
Let's go find the Scarecrow, shall we? Come, Toro.
Artie, hey! Will you listen to me? I've been up and down this place.
I know security systems, and this one is far too sophisticated and probably Wasting my time? I know.
I never get tired of that.
Uh-huh.
I'm sorry, my burglary skills are rusty.
We're Warehouse agents.
This isn't burglary, this is creative snagging.
I'll be getting my own lawyer.
Whoa! What is that? Some sort of weapon? You know, you just added more time to the sentence, right? Three, two, one.
It's called an eclipse.
It deactivates all laser detection for Why 42 minutes and 59 seconds? Well, that's how long the Dark Side of the Moon is? You're a Floyd fan? Dude, have you seen laser Floyd? Dude, I've got Roger Waters' name tattooed on my neck.
No, I'm not a Floyd fan.
I thought you two might be back.
Guess I was right about all that weirdness after all.
Uh, Agent Stukowski, this isn't See, see, see.
Agent Nielsen, either you include me or I activate the alarm.
Your choice.
This is not the Peter Rabbit I remember.
Oh, man, there is some serious copyright infringement going on here.
Wait, we passed Seabiscuit here Oh, nertz, we've been going in circles.
Classic videogame trope.
We should have seen this coming.
Oh! Hey, are you all right? Wait, Claudia, we don't know what it is.
Well, it's obviously trapped.
And didn't General Arthur say the great rewards await those who act the right way? And helping this, whatever that is, could be Acting the right way.
Fair enough.
Stand back.
I'll use my trusty sword.
Ah, yeah! Yow! There's that full sensory-experience Fargo was talking about.
Silly gladiator.
Disco ball's an artifact.
And artifacts need to be neutralized.
Right? Thank you, Player.
Leena? Look, wings! Yes, wings.
You freed me from Carter's Curse.
And in return, I will show you the way to your destination.
Great.
More yellow road.
For you, young elf, a special reward for using your wits to solve my plight instead of thuggish force.
Thuggish can be good sometimes.
High score.
That is a Boon.
Should you find yourself in need, you may call on Leena of the Eagle People.
How does she get off the ground with those things? They're wings.
Yeah, the wings probably help.
Hey, wait up.
Oh, no he didn't.
He actually copied the Dark Vault.
So not cool.
Fargo, get out here right now! Hey, hey, key! The key! There you must collect the Black Tower key.
With it free the princess and so save the day.
Claudia, wait! Quicksand? This must be the death-y part of the game General Artie talked about.
Hey, there's someone in there.
Come on! Come on! Dougie! Oh, thank you! Thank you! Okay, okay, okay, hugs later.
You still have your controllers! Hey, hey, easy there, grabby.
We have to find Jerry.
Where is he? Yeah.
And what happened to your controller? He happened.
Holy crap.
Who invited the Grim Reaper? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! Look, I am a gladiator and I demand that you Okay.
You know sometimes in a videogame, I think it's all right to run! See, I was kind of diggin' Fortress 13, neat costumes, rhyming Artie, but that in there, not okay.
That was not part of the game.
The quicksand, the executioner guy, none of this is supposed to be happening.
Me and Jerry were just playing along and then all of a sudden things got weird and scary.
Weird and scary, sounds like the artifact did something.
Which is why we don't play with them, Fargo, or mix them with videogames.
Okay, I'll admit, not my finest idea.
But it was so innocent, Beatrix Potter's tea set.
What's the worst that could happen? Talking bunnies? I think we just met the worst that can happen.
And that talking bunny has a very big ax.
Hey.
Pete, Fargo's breathing is back to normal.
Yeah, yeah, we found the little guy.
Jerry's still AWOL.
I think the tea set's starting to put a little bit of a whammy on us.
You find anything else out? Potter's first editions are more like dream journals than stories, and they're dark.
In this one story Peter Rabbit chews off his own leg to escape from a McGregor's trap.
That was not on Reading Rainbow.
Guys, what if the tea set doesn't just enhance your imagination? What if it also brings out the darker parts of your subconscious? I used to have nightmares about drowning.
And you wound up in quicksand.
That must be what's happening.
The tea set brings your fears to life in the game.
Fantastic.
What about the executioner? Well, that must come from Jerry.
Most of my nightmares are about me losing my hair.
Me, too! Really? Yeah, do you ever put the thing Pete, you can trade beauty tips later.
I'll figure out what's going on in Jerry's head and you guys just find him and then get out of there.
So? Without the controllers, how do we get out of the game? Well, the only way to shut off the BRAID would be to finish the game.
Which Jerry would know! He must have gone to the Black Tower.
Right.
Save the princess, finish the game.
To the Black Tower! I I I never thought I'd say this, but Let's save us a princess.
How am I supposed to know what's in Jerry's subconscious? All we ever talk about are videogames and fantasy football.
Why are all men emotionally stunted? I need a woman.
Yeah, you and me, both.
No, no, I mean I need to find Are you going to get me a woman? Because if you are, I'd like to change.
Okay, Jerry's girlfriend, the girl on the mug, who is she? Oh, uh, Sarah or Susan.
Melissa? You don't know her name? Hey, look, for the last year I've been working 24l7 on building the BRAID.
I don't even really remember your name! What are you doing? I am going through Jerry's calls.
Okay, most of them are from Fargo.
A-ha! Hannah! He called Hannah! Right.
Last week.
Hannah.
Yeah, right.
Hannah.
So you're just going to substitute a forgery for a priceless work of art and hope nobody notices? I think there's someone there.
Could you check? You know it's blank, right? Observe.
Nice! It's memory paper from Johannes Gutenberg's printing press.
Van Gogh himself wouldn't know the difference.
No one.
You're hearing things.
Shut my mouth! How'd you do that? It's from Johannes Guten Really? I don't know.
Yeah.
Let's just make the swap, shall we? Here, put these on.
We're going to do some dishes.
Just kiddin'.
So this is like that thing in Denver? It's a work of art with bad juju.
Yeah.
No.
So, how are we going to get it out of here? We have to cut it out or Careful.
Careful.
Oh, sorry.
The dust.
Artie, Artie, look.
Get down! No, no, no, no, no, no! Hold on! Hold on! No, no, no! This thing was activated by a puff of air.
When you sneezed, that's what triggered the effect.
Who in the hell are you people? Yeah.
Oh, if I had a nickel Come on, we got to swap this out still.
Hello? What's going on? Hannah, I'm Jerry? Oh, my God! Don't touch the headband.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry, come on, wake up! Jerry! Jerry! What's wrong with him? Look, I can't even pretend to understand what you're trying to tell me.
Lost in the game? Do you work for Fargo, too? No.
No, no, no.
God, no.
I'm just here to lend a hand.
Hannah, look, what's going on in there, with them, it has to do with your boyfriend's subconscious.
I need to know more about him.
Jerry's not my boyfriend anymore.
We broke up last week.
Last week? What, you think our breakup has something to do with this? Just tell me what happened, okay? I wanted more, something serious.
Jerry kept saying that he wanted the same thing, but the time wasn't right.
He wanted Fargames to get off the ground, and I believed him.
I even found the ring that he bought me.
But he never asked.
I waited for months.
And finally I just told him that it was over.
I haven't really talked to him since.
Is he going to be okay? Not as smooth as when we got Whistler's Mother, but not a bad grab.
Oh, that's somethin' I'd rather not know about.
What, no.
No.
Dark Side of the Moon was longer than that.
Sally! She's got the Van Gogh! Ooh, man, my kilt is chaffing.
Thanks for coming, by the way.
Believe me, if a black hole or an evil robot shows up at the Warehouse, you're on my speed dial too.
I hope the Princess has some Gold Bond.
Just let me open the door.
Okay? I can't wait to meet this princess.
Before we go inside, there's something I should tell you.
What? Brave heroes! You've come to save me.
I'm the princess? Really? You didn't see this coming? I will compose a ballad in your honor.
What are those things on my chest? Freckles.
Okay.
Uh, game over.
Princess saved.
What are we What are we doing here? Jerry? Jerry! Guys, this is Jerry! How did you get here? What's wrong with him? Oh, crap.
Brave hero, you've come to rescue me! Oh! Okay.
All right.
It's just you and me! It's just you! Hey, come on, wake up.
Wake up.
Wait, Hannah, please.
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete! Who's Hannah? Pete.
Come on, wake up, Pete! No, no! Whew! Somebody needs a Tic Tac.
Okay, what is happening? What's going on? Everyone's heart rates just started elevating.
Oh, God, Jerry's is almost at 230.
How much faster can it go before it just explodes? Pete, can you hear me? What's going on in there? Myka! Is Jerry still alive? Yes, but his pulse is skyrocketing.
Listen, I think his anxiety comes from his ex-girlfriend.
Yeah.
Whose doesn't? Hannah, yeah, I think we just met her.
Nice girl.
Big ax.
Pete, listen you need to stay calm.
In the story that literally rabbit's fears.
Am I Am I losing you? Of course I am.
Great.
The line went dead.
Myka! Gibson! Is anyone in reality reading me? I don't understand.
It should be working.
Possibly my fault.
Well, I started thinkin' about how much scarier it'd be if we lost communications.
Did you not hear the part about this place making our fears real? Hey, it's your fault we're stuck in here, pal.
And what's the deal with Puff, the Magic Dragon out there.
Yeah, whose fear is that? Well, no, that's actually just part of the game.
What? Dragons are awesome.
Besides, to get past it all we need is the Dagger of Josephine.
I said the Dagger of Josephine.
Which I may have forgotten to program into the game.
A game.
A game.
That's right! This is a game.
So how about if I just close my eyes, jump, and float gently to the ground? Wait, hold the phone, Spartacus.
Boom goes the dynamite.
Excellent.
I'll get to see them again.
Her.
Leena.
I'll get to see Leena again.
Greetings, Player, have you chosen your Boon? And her two humungous wings.
Can you fly us out of here to where Jerry is? If that is your wish, my steed will aid you.
Steed? Shot gun! Oh! Yes! Stukowski played us.
Why would she want an artifact? That Van Gogh is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
She probably doesn't care it's an artifact.
She's a sworn FBI agent.
Hundreds of millions! Look, why don't we just tell the cops who we are? We're all on the same team.
Oh, yeah.
NSA and ATF both burglarizing an art gallery.
That won't lead to too many questions.
All right, gents, let's all go down to My boss wants to meet you.
Hold it! Sally Stukowski, FBI.
These men are working for me on a very important terrorism case.
Terrorism? In an art gallery? The black market sale of art has been used to fund numerous radical organizations in the past few years.
These men were helping me to identify a potential forgery.
We're nearing the end of a 10-month operation and I needed confirmation tonight.
I already have full authority on this crime scene from my field office.
Do I need to take it up with your lieutenant? Take 'em.
Chop, chop.
Told you.
Hannah, why are you doing this? I'm sorry, I couldn't ask I just I was afraid.
I was afraid you'd say no.
I wanted to.
I was afraid! I couldn't commit! I've had so many relationships that ended like that.
She can't really cut off his head, though, right? I mean, not for real.
I don't know.
I mean if his fear kills him in here, it might be able to kill him out there.
You okay? Just this fear thing.
You ever try so hard not to think about something 'til it's all you can think about? Yeah.
All the time.
Miss Donovan.
This is another delusion, dear.
Dr.
Michener? Who's that? No, he's nobody.
He's not real.
He's not here.
None of this is real, Claudia.
You're just an emotionally troubled young woman.
No.
Your brother is dead.
No! No! Let me go! You're not real! You've been living a delusion.
One you created to make yourself feel safe.
A Warehouse, where you could hide from the real world.
But it's a lie, Claudia.
You've been in this institution the whole time.
With me.
Don't listen to him, Claudia! No, Claudia, we're real! Please! No! You need your treatment, Claudia.
Oh, man, this is bad.
Something really bad is happening.
I'm totally freaking out, man! Gibson, snap out of it! You've been hiding.
You'll feel better after your treatment.
You always do.
Ah! You know what, Doc? I do feel better now.
Myka, is that really you? Yeah.
You went with dominatrix, huh? Good choice.
Don't make me get my whip.
Are you okay? Mmm-hmm.
Are you okay? I wasn't expecting a catharsis today, but that actually felt pretty good.
Yeah, thanks, Myks.
Okay, guys, look, we have to save Jerry and get our controllers back from the evil Hannah.
But how? I mean, she's been kicking our butts since we got here.
Wait, I was stuck in the quicksand, but when I saw you guys, it gave me the courage to pull myself out.
Right.
And Myka distracted him, but I had to be the one to finish the Doc.
You have to take down your own fears.
Right.
Okay, so we got to get traumatized Jerry to nut-up before he loses his head.
Myka, Claudia, you go talk to him.
We'll distract the ex.
Let's go get medieval on her ass.
One, two, three - Break! Break! Okay.
That's Just Sorry I ran off.
Didn't really have much of a choice.
Figured I'd catch up with you two once I got the painting back to a safe place.
I don't really like lying to policemen.
Well, trust me, you're good at it.
You have our number, Agent Stukowski.
Right then.
Guess I'll catch you later.
What is it, Artie? Something.
Hannah, I never wanted it to end.
I just I just wanted to be more for you.
Hey, you old battle ax! Oh, you're going to make the super scary monster face, huh? She's going to make the super scary monster face! Bring it, bi-atch.
How am I doin'? Jerry, everything's going to be okay.
It doesn't matter.
I'll never be good enough for her or anybody.
Hey, lady! You had that thing the whole time? I think we've established I haven't thought this through very well.
You shall not pass! Or after you.
Cheater.
Come on.
Jerry, listen, I know what happened with Hannah, the real one.
You love her, but you couldn't propose.
She just would have said no.
This place, it magnifies your fear, your anxieties.
The proposal, okay, that's your demon.
Don't let it kill us all.
Come on, Jerry, dig deep.
What do you want more than anything in the world right now? I want Hannah.
Then make it happen.
Go over to her.
Okay.
Look her in the eye.
Okay.
And tell her how you feel.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Let's go.
Now, Jerry! Hannah, will you marry me? Jerry.
Congratulations, Players! The game is complete and now let's all get something to eat.
It's about freakin' time.
Ah! She's back! Hannah! Hannah! Oh, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I like this Hannah better.
Well, I thought the giant ax was kind of a turn-on.
I officially know way too much about you.
Hi.
I This is my first time doing anything like this.
A really good friend of mine told me I needed to get out of my comfort zone.
And then my worst nightmare sort of told me the same thing.
So it's been a weird couple of days.
Anyway, tip Yeah tip your barista.
Here we go.
Oh, with your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick, then spin it, yeah, yeah, yeah Your head will collapse because there's nothin' in it You'll ask yourself Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind? The water, see it swimming Well, I was swimming in the Caribbean Animals were hiding behind the rocks Oh, yeah, yeah Except the little fish told me he swears He's trying to talk to me, to me Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Way out in the water See it swimming It's done.
Now we wait.
Agent Sally Stukowski, FBI.
I'm in charge of this investigation.
We're trying to help.
Well, we specialize in weird.
We can help you.
We We know stuff.
I'm Claudia.
Douglas.
Douglas Fargo.
Everyone just calls me Fargo.
Okay.
Doug.
I spent some time in a psyche research facility.
And I just told you I was in an institution, so I guess today's sharing day.
No more agents, dude.
What the Warehouse needs are interns.
Is that the whole order? Yeah.
Party fuel for a super fun night of inventory reports.
You know, Claud, I think some time you ought to bring your git box down here and rock out the locals.
Whatcha can, can, can wacka!" No.
No? No.
Come on.
You're really good.
You got to get out of your comfort zone.
You play at the B&B all the time.
Where no one can hear me.
Especially you.
Quit eavesdropping on me.
What's wrong with you? Here.
What's wrong with you? Artie, unblock your number.
Yes.
I made sure they used vanilla sprinkles as well as the soy whip.
Soy whip? No, no, no, I don't need soy whip.
I need to speak with someone named Claudia.
Who is this? This is Gibson, and he told me to call this number in case something went wrong with the beta test.
And something has gone wrong, really, really wrong.
And I'm the only one that's not veggin' Hey, hey, hey, Gibson, de-spazz for a second.
Who told you to call me? Fargo.
And I think he's going to die.
This is the address that Gibson dude gave me.
Urgh, reminds me of college.
Hey, Gibson! Back here! Oh, thank God you guys came.
They're, like, freaking out right now.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what to do.
They're like drooling and thugging out.
Oh, my God, Fargo.
Oh, no, don't touch the headband! Ooh! What do you think was the first thing I tried? Is this his heart rate? How long has it been that high? A few minutes.
He goes up and down.
All right, Gibson, is it? Yeah.
Who are you? Why are we here? And why is Fargo jacked into the Matrix? They're playing a videogame and I don't know how to get them to stop.
Oh Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, in here! This way Fargo can tell you himself.
Greetings, potential investors.
My name is Dr.
Douglas Fargo, world-renowned scientist, inventor, dreamer.
I'm here today to talk to you about an exciting new business venture, one that will change the standard of videogame entertainment for all humankind.
Welcome to Fargames.
Six months ago, two MIT graduates, Jerry Hoffler and Gibson Ryce came to me with an idea.
They called it the BRAID.
Bioelectric Reality Augmentation Interactive Device.
BRAID.
The BRAID creates artificial feelings, sights, sounds, smells, a full sensory-experience.
You don't just play the game, you live it.
Fargames.
Imagining Greater! So, Fargo and Jerry were beta-testing this game? Yeah.
Things were going great, but after a few hours their Pulses started to spike.
Look, Gibson, IT problems really aren't our area of expertise.
Isn't there someone in Eureka that could The BRAID never worked, did it? The human brain wouldn't accept the lie of artificial reality.
But Fargo thought he found something that would help.
They drank out of it before they started the test.
Damn.
The little geek found an artifact.
Agent Jinks! Thanks so much for comin' on such short notice.
Agent Stukowski.
Considering you tried to have me arrested the first time we met, I was a little surprised to get an SOS call from you.
Oh, no, that thing in Denver? Honey, water under the bridge.
Reason I called is I've got a real humdinger here.
And since you're organization specializes in weird, I thought I'd take a chance.
So, you came alone? Not quite.
How that little nerd get his hands on an artifact? I'll kill him! Now call Leena, she can help.
Eureka.
Oh, did you just figure somethin' out? What? No.
Who is this? FBI.
Agent Sally Stukowski.
This is Artie Agent Nielsen.
Pleasure.
Yes.
Thanks again for takin' time out of your schedule.
Y'all must be busy with whatever it is you do.
You want to just walk us through the scene? Yes.
Eric Johnson, 47, curator of the Hobbes Gallery, takes a dive out of this window here.
Official ruling is suicide, but I don't think so.
Co-workers and family say that he was excited about the exhibit opening next week.
No signs of depression or erratic behavior.
Hmm.
And And were there any witnesses? No.
He was workin' late.
Report says he was the only one in the building.
I'm sort of missing the weirdness here.
Coroner's report.
That's Mr.
Johnson? He only fell two stories, but the impact trauma, it's like he was skydivin' without a parachute.
That is weird.
And disgusting.
So, thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? Hypotheses? I got nothin'.
Coroner was right.
Suicide.
I beg your pardon? No, that's safety glass.
He couldn't have just jumped through it.
Oh, he took a running jump from all the way across the room, built up enough force and went right through the glass.
What? Saw it on MythBusters.
So, that's it then? Afraid so.
Good luck! Steve.
Oh.
This is the manager of the building.
The man thinks I work for him.
I'll show you out in a second.
We'll show ourselves out.
Thanks.
Perfect.
I could tell you were lying.
Yeah, that never gets old.
Take a look at that oil painting.
It's right across from the broken window.
It is a Van Gogh, Stormy Night.
Been missing for years.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's bounced around Europe since World War I and death has followed that painting wherever it's been spotted.
If it's an artifact, why don't we just take it? And tell 'em what? Their priceless painting murdered a man, please, can we have it? Look, Stukowski called us in.
Yeah, and I have no intention of giving her any more clues as to what it is we do.
No, no, no, no.
If we're going to get that painting We're going to have to steal it.
Does it look anything like this? It's an exact match.
No effect on Fargo or Jerry.
The Warehouse has the fourth cup.
All right, so what's the story? Well, the tea set belonged to Beatrix Potter, 19th century English writer.
Peter Rabbit, I love that book.
The league of evil British writers strikes again.
The rest of the set has been on Artie's most-wanted list for years.
Hey, "Used for brewing teas derived from rare fungi "cultivated by Potter during her time as a mycologist.
"The tea is known to stimulate the precuneus region of the brain.
" It's the imagination center.
I bet that's why Potter got into writing children's stories.
So, what, the tea set made her trip bunnies? Fargo must have figured it'd help do what the BRAID couldn't.
You know, make the brain experience total reality inside the game.
I've seen Potter's first editions in the Warehouse library.
Leena, can you send us scans? You got it.
Claudia! He just started doing this.
We got to get him out of there.
I've been reading the schematics, and I don't think there's anything we can do.
From out here.
So if you could never get 'em to work, why'd you make so many? Yeah, well, Fargo's not the most linear thinker.
Hey, I upgraded the hardware.
You should be able to incorporate that into that game.
You did this in 20 minutes? Quicker than Dominos.
Myka, that's an in-game communicator, so you'll be able to talk to us once we go inside.
Claudia and I'll go in, find him and boogie on back out to reality.
Game on, urban warrior.
Oh.
Okay, you both need avatars to play in the game.
What do you want to be? I'll be a bad ass.
What kind of game is this anyway? I just did the hardware, some sword and sorcery thing that Fargo wrote.
I think he's a Wizard.
I was going to be a Warlock Priest.
I'll just be myself.
Okay.
Are you sure it won't work without the tea? We tried.
If you don't drink, the game's just a game.
Fargo wanted more than that.
Yeah, looks like he got it.
Well, I'll be here to make sure that nothing goes wrong.
Or more wrong.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
No, no, no.
I was playing Frogger when you were just a tadpole.
Just to make sure the pop-out works, right? Mmm! Oh, man! Minty.
Hope there's no caffeine in there because Well, his His pulse is still normal.
Dude? Dude? You there? Yeah.
Yeah.
Hello? Can you hear me? Loud and clear.
Wow.
It's awesome in here.
Is that the Oh, man! Dude, look down at your belt.
Do you see the controller? The white thing with the button on top? Right.
Push the button.
Ooh, you guys got to see this.
Fill 'er up.
Is it me or does that look a little bit like Yep.
Fargo made a Warehouse 13 videogame.
And somewhere in there Fargo's having a seizure.
Whoa! And you are a stripper? What? No.
I'm a Gladiator.
It's cool, right? Yeah.
Nice skirt.
Nice ears.
Poin Pointy.
I'm an elf? I said myself.
You need to enunciate.
Now run to your tree and get me some cookies.
Halt, Players! Artie? I am General Arthur of the Queen's Royal Best! Now, Players, prepare for a life-ending quest, through bleak, barren lands you will stumble and blunder trying to find a world of bizarre endless wonder.
Whoa.
You see this? Yeah.
I can't really believe it though.
Welcome, Players, to Fortress 13, the most wondrous place that's never been seen.
Hidden deep in the valley of the land of bad, filled with dangerous relics, some evil, some mad! Oh! Artie is going to be deeply pissed.
The Princess is imprisoned high in the Black Tower.
Her life slipping way with each passing hour.
True heroes you are to take on this brave test.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Your Generalness, I am Peteimus Maximus of the Lattimer Legion.
This is my faithful squire, Claudi-elf.
We would love to save your princess, but are looking for two royal geeks.
True heroes you are to take this grave test.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Sure.
Glasses, unnatural attraction to computers.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest? Well, maybe it's just a program.
Fargo and Jerry must be further on in the game.
We're just going to have to play along if we want to find them.
Now! Will you accept your dangerous Sure.
Sure.
Why not? Welcome, Players, to Fortress Yes! Oh! Follow the path to the Cave of Forbidden Mystery.
There you must collect the Black Tower key, with it free the Princess and so save the day.
Great rewards await those who act the right way.
Cave of Forbidden Mystery, huh? Sounds cheery.
Myka-amus? Pete, how's it going in there? Well, so far so good.
No sign of the Parker Brothers yet.
But we're on a quest, and I have a really cool sword.
Oh, oh! What did I get? I got a vial of purple goo.
Great.
I wanted nunchucks.
Okay, look, you have to find Fargo and Jerry.
I don't know how much longer their hearts can beat at this rate.
Copy that.
Crash Bandicoot out.
Okay.
Let's go find the Scarecrow, shall we? Come, Toro.
Artie, hey! Will you listen to me? I've been up and down this place.
I know security systems, and this one is far too sophisticated and probably Wasting my time? I know.
I never get tired of that.
Uh-huh.
I'm sorry, my burglary skills are rusty.
We're Warehouse agents.
This isn't burglary, this is creative snagging.
I'll be getting my own lawyer.
Whoa! What is that? Some sort of weapon? You know, you just added more time to the sentence, right? Three, two, one.
It's called an eclipse.
It deactivates all laser detection for Why 42 minutes and 59 seconds? Well, that's how long the Dark Side of the Moon is? You're a Floyd fan? Dude, have you seen laser Floyd? Dude, I've got Roger Waters' name tattooed on my neck.
No, I'm not a Floyd fan.
I thought you two might be back.
Guess I was right about all that weirdness after all.
Uh, Agent Stukowski, this isn't See, see, see.
Agent Nielsen, either you include me or I activate the alarm.
Your choice.
This is not the Peter Rabbit I remember.
Oh, man, there is some serious copyright infringement going on here.
Wait, we passed Seabiscuit here Oh, nertz, we've been going in circles.
Classic videogame trope.
We should have seen this coming.
Oh! Hey, are you all right? Wait, Claudia, we don't know what it is.
Well, it's obviously trapped.
And didn't General Arthur say the great rewards await those who act the right way? And helping this, whatever that is, could be Acting the right way.
Fair enough.
Stand back.
I'll use my trusty sword.
Ah, yeah! Yow! There's that full sensory-experience Fargo was talking about.
Silly gladiator.
Disco ball's an artifact.
And artifacts need to be neutralized.
Right? Thank you, Player.
Leena? Look, wings! Yes, wings.
You freed me from Carter's Curse.
And in return, I will show you the way to your destination.
Great.
More yellow road.
For you, young elf, a special reward for using your wits to solve my plight instead of thuggish force.
Thuggish can be good sometimes.
High score.
That is a Boon.
Should you find yourself in need, you may call on Leena of the Eagle People.
How does she get off the ground with those things? They're wings.
Yeah, the wings probably help.
Hey, wait up.
Oh, no he didn't.
He actually copied the Dark Vault.
So not cool.
Fargo, get out here right now! Hey, hey, key! The key! There you must collect the Black Tower key.
With it free the princess and so save the day.
Claudia, wait! Quicksand? This must be the death-y part of the game General Artie talked about.
Hey, there's someone in there.
Come on! Come on! Dougie! Oh, thank you! Thank you! Okay, okay, okay, hugs later.
You still have your controllers! Hey, hey, easy there, grabby.
We have to find Jerry.
Where is he? Yeah.
And what happened to your controller? He happened.
Holy crap.
Who invited the Grim Reaper? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! Look, I am a gladiator and I demand that you Okay.
You know sometimes in a videogame, I think it's all right to run! See, I was kind of diggin' Fortress 13, neat costumes, rhyming Artie, but that in there, not okay.
That was not part of the game.
The quicksand, the executioner guy, none of this is supposed to be happening.
Me and Jerry were just playing along and then all of a sudden things got weird and scary.
Weird and scary, sounds like the artifact did something.
Which is why we don't play with them, Fargo, or mix them with videogames.
Okay, I'll admit, not my finest idea.
But it was so innocent, Beatrix Potter's tea set.
What's the worst that could happen? Talking bunnies? I think we just met the worst that can happen.
And that talking bunny has a very big ax.
Hey.
Pete, Fargo's breathing is back to normal.
Yeah, yeah, we found the little guy.
Jerry's still AWOL.
I think the tea set's starting to put a little bit of a whammy on us.
You find anything else out? Potter's first editions are more like dream journals than stories, and they're dark.
In this one story Peter Rabbit chews off his own leg to escape from a McGregor's trap.
That was not on Reading Rainbow.
Guys, what if the tea set doesn't just enhance your imagination? What if it also brings out the darker parts of your subconscious? I used to have nightmares about drowning.
And you wound up in quicksand.
That must be what's happening.
The tea set brings your fears to life in the game.
Fantastic.
What about the executioner? Well, that must come from Jerry.
Most of my nightmares are about me losing my hair.
Me, too! Really? Yeah, do you ever put the thing Pete, you can trade beauty tips later.
I'll figure out what's going on in Jerry's head and you guys just find him and then get out of there.
So? Without the controllers, how do we get out of the game? Well, the only way to shut off the BRAID would be to finish the game.
Which Jerry would know! He must have gone to the Black Tower.
Right.
Save the princess, finish the game.
To the Black Tower! I I I never thought I'd say this, but Let's save us a princess.
How am I supposed to know what's in Jerry's subconscious? All we ever talk about are videogames and fantasy football.
Why are all men emotionally stunted? I need a woman.
Yeah, you and me, both.
No, no, I mean I need to find Are you going to get me a woman? Because if you are, I'd like to change.
Okay, Jerry's girlfriend, the girl on the mug, who is she? Oh, uh, Sarah or Susan.
Melissa? You don't know her name? Hey, look, for the last year I've been working 24l7 on building the BRAID.
I don't even really remember your name! What are you doing? I am going through Jerry's calls.
Okay, most of them are from Fargo.
A-ha! Hannah! He called Hannah! Right.
Last week.
Hannah.
Yeah, right.
Hannah.
So you're just going to substitute a forgery for a priceless work of art and hope nobody notices? I think there's someone there.
Could you check? You know it's blank, right? Observe.
Nice! It's memory paper from Johannes Gutenberg's printing press.
Van Gogh himself wouldn't know the difference.
No one.
You're hearing things.
Shut my mouth! How'd you do that? It's from Johannes Guten Really? I don't know.
Yeah.
Let's just make the swap, shall we? Here, put these on.
We're going to do some dishes.
Just kiddin'.
So this is like that thing in Denver? It's a work of art with bad juju.
Yeah.
No.
So, how are we going to get it out of here? We have to cut it out or Careful.
Careful.
Oh, sorry.
The dust.
Artie, Artie, look.
Get down! No, no, no, no, no, no! Hold on! Hold on! No, no, no! This thing was activated by a puff of air.
When you sneezed, that's what triggered the effect.
Who in the hell are you people? Yeah.
Oh, if I had a nickel Come on, we got to swap this out still.
Hello? What's going on? Hannah, I'm Jerry? Oh, my God! Don't touch the headband.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry, come on, wake up! Jerry! Jerry! What's wrong with him? Look, I can't even pretend to understand what you're trying to tell me.
Lost in the game? Do you work for Fargo, too? No.
No, no, no.
God, no.
I'm just here to lend a hand.
Hannah, look, what's going on in there, with them, it has to do with your boyfriend's subconscious.
I need to know more about him.
Jerry's not my boyfriend anymore.
We broke up last week.
Last week? What, you think our breakup has something to do with this? Just tell me what happened, okay? I wanted more, something serious.
Jerry kept saying that he wanted the same thing, but the time wasn't right.
He wanted Fargames to get off the ground, and I believed him.
I even found the ring that he bought me.
But he never asked.
I waited for months.
And finally I just told him that it was over.
I haven't really talked to him since.
Is he going to be okay? Not as smooth as when we got Whistler's Mother, but not a bad grab.
Oh, that's somethin' I'd rather not know about.
What, no.
No.
Dark Side of the Moon was longer than that.
Sally! She's got the Van Gogh! Ooh, man, my kilt is chaffing.
Thanks for coming, by the way.
Believe me, if a black hole or an evil robot shows up at the Warehouse, you're on my speed dial too.
I hope the Princess has some Gold Bond.
Just let me open the door.
Okay? I can't wait to meet this princess.
Before we go inside, there's something I should tell you.
What? Brave heroes! You've come to save me.
I'm the princess? Really? You didn't see this coming? I will compose a ballad in your honor.
What are those things on my chest? Freckles.
Okay.
Uh, game over.
Princess saved.
What are we What are we doing here? Jerry? Jerry! Guys, this is Jerry! How did you get here? What's wrong with him? Oh, crap.
Brave hero, you've come to rescue me! Oh! Okay.
All right.
It's just you and me! It's just you! Hey, come on, wake up.
Wake up.
Wait, Hannah, please.
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete! Who's Hannah? Pete.
Come on, wake up, Pete! No, no! Whew! Somebody needs a Tic Tac.
Okay, what is happening? What's going on? Everyone's heart rates just started elevating.
Oh, God, Jerry's is almost at 230.
How much faster can it go before it just explodes? Pete, can you hear me? What's going on in there? Myka! Is Jerry still alive? Yes, but his pulse is skyrocketing.
Listen, I think his anxiety comes from his ex-girlfriend.
Yeah.
Whose doesn't? Hannah, yeah, I think we just met her.
Nice girl.
Big ax.
Pete, listen you need to stay calm.
In the story that literally rabbit's fears.
Am I Am I losing you? Of course I am.
Great.
The line went dead.
Myka! Gibson! Is anyone in reality reading me? I don't understand.
It should be working.
Possibly my fault.
Well, I started thinkin' about how much scarier it'd be if we lost communications.
Did you not hear the part about this place making our fears real? Hey, it's your fault we're stuck in here, pal.
And what's the deal with Puff, the Magic Dragon out there.
Yeah, whose fear is that? Well, no, that's actually just part of the game.
What? Dragons are awesome.
Besides, to get past it all we need is the Dagger of Josephine.
I said the Dagger of Josephine.
Which I may have forgotten to program into the game.
A game.
A game.
That's right! This is a game.
So how about if I just close my eyes, jump, and float gently to the ground? Wait, hold the phone, Spartacus.
Boom goes the dynamite.
Excellent.
I'll get to see them again.
Her.
Leena.
I'll get to see Leena again.
Greetings, Player, have you chosen your Boon? And her two humungous wings.
Can you fly us out of here to where Jerry is? If that is your wish, my steed will aid you.
Steed? Shot gun! Oh! Yes! Stukowski played us.
Why would she want an artifact? That Van Gogh is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
She probably doesn't care it's an artifact.
She's a sworn FBI agent.
Hundreds of millions! Look, why don't we just tell the cops who we are? We're all on the same team.
Oh, yeah.
NSA and ATF both burglarizing an art gallery.
That won't lead to too many questions.
All right, gents, let's all go down to My boss wants to meet you.
Hold it! Sally Stukowski, FBI.
These men are working for me on a very important terrorism case.
Terrorism? In an art gallery? The black market sale of art has been used to fund numerous radical organizations in the past few years.
These men were helping me to identify a potential forgery.
We're nearing the end of a 10-month operation and I needed confirmation tonight.
I already have full authority on this crime scene from my field office.
Do I need to take it up with your lieutenant? Take 'em.
Chop, chop.
Told you.
Hannah, why are you doing this? I'm sorry, I couldn't ask I just I was afraid.
I was afraid you'd say no.
I wanted to.
I was afraid! I couldn't commit! I've had so many relationships that ended like that.
She can't really cut off his head, though, right? I mean, not for real.
I don't know.
I mean if his fear kills him in here, it might be able to kill him out there.
You okay? Just this fear thing.
You ever try so hard not to think about something 'til it's all you can think about? Yeah.
All the time.
Miss Donovan.
This is another delusion, dear.
Dr.
Michener? Who's that? No, he's nobody.
He's not real.
He's not here.
None of this is real, Claudia.
You're just an emotionally troubled young woman.
No.
Your brother is dead.
No! No! Let me go! You're not real! You've been living a delusion.
One you created to make yourself feel safe.
A Warehouse, where you could hide from the real world.
But it's a lie, Claudia.
You've been in this institution the whole time.
With me.
Don't listen to him, Claudia! No, Claudia, we're real! Please! No! You need your treatment, Claudia.
Oh, man, this is bad.
Something really bad is happening.
I'm totally freaking out, man! Gibson, snap out of it! You've been hiding.
You'll feel better after your treatment.
You always do.
Ah! You know what, Doc? I do feel better now.
Myka, is that really you? Yeah.
You went with dominatrix, huh? Good choice.
Don't make me get my whip.
Are you okay? Mmm-hmm.
Are you okay? I wasn't expecting a catharsis today, but that actually felt pretty good.
Yeah, thanks, Myks.
Okay, guys, look, we have to save Jerry and get our controllers back from the evil Hannah.
But how? I mean, she's been kicking our butts since we got here.
Wait, I was stuck in the quicksand, but when I saw you guys, it gave me the courage to pull myself out.
Right.
And Myka distracted him, but I had to be the one to finish the Doc.
You have to take down your own fears.
Right.
Okay, so we got to get traumatized Jerry to nut-up before he loses his head.
Myka, Claudia, you go talk to him.
We'll distract the ex.
Let's go get medieval on her ass.
One, two, three - Break! Break! Okay.
That's Just Sorry I ran off.
Didn't really have much of a choice.
Figured I'd catch up with you two once I got the painting back to a safe place.
I don't really like lying to policemen.
Well, trust me, you're good at it.
You have our number, Agent Stukowski.
Right then.
Guess I'll catch you later.
What is it, Artie? Something.
Hannah, I never wanted it to end.
I just I just wanted to be more for you.
Hey, you old battle ax! Oh, you're going to make the super scary monster face, huh? She's going to make the super scary monster face! Bring it, bi-atch.
How am I doin'? Jerry, everything's going to be okay.
It doesn't matter.
I'll never be good enough for her or anybody.
Hey, lady! You had that thing the whole time? I think we've established I haven't thought this through very well.
You shall not pass! Or after you.
Cheater.
Come on.
Jerry, listen, I know what happened with Hannah, the real one.
You love her, but you couldn't propose.
She just would have said no.
This place, it magnifies your fear, your anxieties.
The proposal, okay, that's your demon.
Don't let it kill us all.
Come on, Jerry, dig deep.
What do you want more than anything in the world right now? I want Hannah.
Then make it happen.
Go over to her.
Okay.
Look her in the eye.
Okay.
And tell her how you feel.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Let's go.
Now, Jerry! Hannah, will you marry me? Jerry.
Congratulations, Players! The game is complete and now let's all get something to eat.
It's about freakin' time.
Ah! She's back! Hannah! Hannah! Oh, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I like this Hannah better.
Well, I thought the giant ax was kind of a turn-on.
I officially know way too much about you.
Hi.
I This is my first time doing anything like this.
A really good friend of mine told me I needed to get out of my comfort zone.
And then my worst nightmare sort of told me the same thing.
So it's been a weird couple of days.
Anyway, tip Yeah tip your barista.
Here we go.
Oh, with your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick, then spin it, yeah, yeah, yeah Your head will collapse because there's nothin' in it You'll ask yourself Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind? The water, see it swimming Well, I was swimming in the Caribbean Animals were hiding behind the rocks Oh, yeah, yeah Except the little fish told me he swears He's trying to talk to me, to me Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Way out in the water See it swimming It's done.
Now we wait.