Workin' Moms (2017) s03e06 Episode Script

1 - Previously on "Workin' Moms" - - Who are these guys? - My only clients.
I read the article.
What a witch hunt.
I don't think You're on the right side of this.
Hey! Hey! Who are you? - (Shouting) Hey! - (Pained groans) For the record, you're a psycho.
I am gonna try and have a baby on my own.
This is really exciting.
Well, it looks like all I have to do for the next two days is find some pro bono work.
- And you have that dinner.
- What dinner? The one with me.
Headmaster: Thank you for meeting me last minute.
It seems the hair-cutting incident was just the tip of the iceberg.
Parents and faculty have expressed concern with many of Charlie's behaviors.
- (Charlie roars) - His aggression, his hyperactivity, and all towards female students.
(Scoffs) Are you calling my son a misogynist? No, (chuckles) we would never use a term like that to describe a 3-year-old, but it is interesting that you would.
Okay, okay, let's just can we just slow down for a second? I actually owe you a thank you.
That panda book was really helpful, and not just for Charlie, for me, too.
Uh, being afraid isn't bad, be yourself, and turn sad panda glad.
That's-that's brilliant, and it's really changed him.
(Charlie roars) I'm happy to hear that.
But, things haven't improved here, so I have decided to suspend him.
Suspend-suspend him? For how long? 'Til Narla determines that he's safe to reintegrate.
- Who the hell is Narla? - (Narla clears throat) Oh God! How long have you been there? Narla is an early childhood development specialist.
You see, in order for Charlie to be able to return into the classroom, she's going to observe his behaviour, with your signed permission, of course.
And her fee, paid up front.
Are you telling me I'm bringing Narla home with me, - and paying for that privilege? - Yeah.
Uh, I'm sorry, but I don't think my hus I don't I don't think Nathan is going to sign off on that.
He's already signed off on it.
(Sneezes) I go high Then go low Won't let them run my show So, Narla, how does this work, exactly? Just go about your regular life.
I'll blend into the background, and it will be like I'm not even here.
Uh listen, I didn't expect to have you, or Charlie, with me today, and I'm in the middle of some stuff, so I'm gonna go ahead and drop you off at my mom's.
She's an angel, second mother to Charlie.
You're gonna love her.
Mothers love me.
- (Door slams) - Kate: Mom! Hey Mom, sorry to spring this on you, but I really need help with the kids today.
Oh my God, Mom, what happened? Ow! I so did not want you to see me like this today, Kate, but if you, and your very strange friend there, must know, I am recuperating from vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
And I am on a lot of drugs, so I can be of no assistance to you today.
Vaginal rej no, you did not.
The pain will all be worth it for the look on Barry's face.
Upon entrance.
Okay, Mom, should you even be having voluntary surgeries at your age? And this is not my friend, she's here to observe Charlie because he was suspended from school for being a misogynist.
Oh, just like your mother.
(Clears throat) That's not true.
She's known for her sense of humor.
So nice to be needed.
You know, if I knew that this is all it took, I would've have vaginal rejuvenation surgery years ago.
I'm done.
Mom, today of all days, I really needed a parent.
Dad would've never done this.
Well, Dad didn't have a vagina, Katie, you know that.
Frankie: And make sure you show the doctor your nutrient fanny pack, so she knows you're the real deal.
Well, she's just gonna read the results off a clipboard.
Uh uh, the fanny pack helps, trust me.
- They go, "Oh, she cares!" - (Small laugh) So, what are you gonna miss most about being not pregnant? Mini Margarita Mondays at Chico Mico's.
- They're amazing.
- They're amazing.
But you know, they're still gonna be here when the baby's born, and that's when you're really gonna need 'em.
Yeah.
All right.
You sure you don't want me to come in with you? Nope.
I'm trying to prove to myself that I can handle this mom thing alone, so.
- (Sighs) - I totally get it.
It sounds dumb, but I'm pretty sure it worked.
Is that crazy? No, not in the slightest! - I'm gonna see you at lunch.
- Okay.
- I'm bringin' the tacos.
- Yup.
You're bringin' the good news.
Yeah.
- (Text message chimes) - - (Keys clack) - - (Sneezes) - Oh God! Hey! Thought I heard a couple rascals.
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up? - I owe you a thanks.
- For? My optometrist said that my vision has slightly improved, and I think it's from drinking your, you know.
Shh.
Lucky kids, huh? Tit milk on tap? No, that's a funny joke you just made up.
So creative.
Look, the kids are here today because there's some complicated things - happening at home.
- Kate, real talk, are we running away, or not? My bags are packed.
As soon as you admit your feelings, we're out of here, okay? These kids, they need a strong, young, male presence in their life.
- (Narla sneezes) - Holy shit! Whew.
Ooh-h-h.
Forrest, this is Narla, and she's from Charlie's school.
I did not know you were in here.
- Yup.
- Uh right, we'll talk later.
Nice to meet you, Narla.
(Footsteps thud slowly away) Was he insinuating that he drinks your breast milk? Morning, sleepyhead, I brought you coffee! What time is it? Where are the girls? I took them to school.
Don't hate me, but I called you in sick.
What? I can't, I have patients.
Your patients are just gonna have to fend for themselves today, because today, it's all about this basket case right here.
- Excuse me? - Beautiful basket case.
Come on, let's go! It'll be fun! Rude! Look, I can't change why you feel pain, but I can give you a place to put it.
What? Put it on.
(Door creaks open, feet shuffle) (Door creaks and slams shut) (Glass smashes) (Attack yell) (Victorious roar) (Growls) Yes! Yeah! Aw, yeah! - (Screams) - Woo! - Yes! - Yeah! (Glass smashes) YEAH!!!! (Plates shatter) (Case thuds heavily) That was so awesome! I mean, wow.
(Chuckles) I love you so much.
(Glass shatters) (Chair rattles lightly) (Sad exhale) So, I guess this means it didn't take? So much for your fucking nutrient super pack.
What happened? The doctor thinks my eggs are the problem.
Ugh, I'm so sorry.
The fake it 'til you make it doesn't apply to pregnancies, Frankie.
You got me so worked up.
Pushing me to spend God knows how much money on a biological impossibility.
I was just trying to be supportive.
Well, that's not support.
That's being a bad friend.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey.
Bianca, I know we are upset, but you can't give up! But I'm broke! I don't have the financial resources you have, okay? Look, it's over.
I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
Wait! You got-you got a whole margarita still here! Got it.
Voicemail: Yo, yo, yo, what up, it's Juniper, but you already know that though, 'cause you're callin' me.
(Laughs) Leave a message, I might listen to it, I might not.
(Beep) Hey, Juniper, this is Frankie calling, your benefactor.
Uh yeah, I'm just calling because I haven't heard from you, just, you were gonna call me when your student loan came in, so yeah, gimme a call.
Again.
This is Frankie.
(Sighs) Hmm.
Oh, excuse me? Hey, uh, I, excuse me, hi.
Uh sorry, we're not open yet.
I know, but um, Juniper works here, right? - Um - I'm a pal.
I'm a pal, and her voicemail is full.
She's not in today.
Oh.
Well, do you know where she is? Today's Monday so Oh, so school I guess.
No, she's probably at the park with the drum circle.
The drum circle? She's actually really good.
Of course she is.
(Drums beating rhythmically) (Laughing) Juniper! - (Drums beating) - Juniper! Hey! Hey.
Um Why aren't you in school? Uh yeah, I was gonna talk to you about that.
- Uh huh? - Mhmm.
I (clears throat) come on.
I uh, I dropped out.
- Excuse me? - I was gonna talk to you.
- I was gonna tell you? - When, exactly? Um, well, when I figured out all the money stuff, because I had to withdraw my loan application, so I started picking up a few shifts here and there.
So you didn't get your student loan.
Well no, I'm not a student anymore.
(Chuckles) So.
I want my money back.
Now.
I don't have it.
Well, what the hell did you spend it on? Come here.
I'm gonna show you somethin' in your ears.
Okay, so it isn't mixed or mastered yet.
This is like a first draft.
The vocals have been comin' hot, but we're fixing it.
So you spent my money on a demo? Keep these lips off your lips Not these lips, oh yeah, those lips These hips These hips - Oh God, that's just-no.
- No? Oh, it's shit, isn't it? Fuck! It's No! You lied to me! No, I didn't like.
Okay, okay, it's not school, but it's an education.
My producer says I've really got something.
Maybe you're just-you're just not the democratic.
- Demographic.
- Totally.
(Angry sigh) - Wait, are you mad? - Mhmm, I am mad.
Hey, I'll get the money.
I'll figure something out.
I'll walk dogs, or babies, or something.
Okay, you don't get it, do you? I need that money.
My friend is in so much pain.
She can't get pregnant, and thanks to you, and your demo, there's nothing I can do about it! Why can't she get pregnant? Is her vagina broken? No! It Her eggs are broken.
Oh.
You need eggs? I've got eggs.
What? Yeah, I tried to sell them a while back, but they're still frozen.
They keep sending me storage bills.
You're comin' with me.
Come on, let's go! - Okay.
Can I get my weed? - Nope.
High Okay, so uh, Narla, since you're with us today, I thought maybe you could just hold Ella while I get this rash looked at.
I'm kidding, this is for work, why we're here.
You don't care.
Cool.
Hi! Hello, my name's Hannah.
Welcome.
What hassle-free services can we offer you? Your children? Your sister? I'm not here.
No.
Hi, Hannah, I am Kate Foster.
I actually run a PR firm.
I'm not in need of your services, I'm actually hoping I can help you.
Oh.
Completely pro bono, of course.
I realize that generally, women's clinics have pretty good public images, but you'd be surprised what I can do for you.
My resources can attract the attention - of some very large donors.
- Wow, Miss Foster, if only you'd showed up a few months ago.
What happened, you save all the women? (Chuckles) Unfortunately, our clinic is closing down soon.
A developer bought the land, and I suppose the health of women in need isn't as profitable as a Starbucks.
Well, that's fuckin' bullshit! (Ella cries) - Oh.
No - (More babies cry) Sorry.
Damnit.
- Thanks for coming.
- (Ella cries) Can I hand you this to give to Ella? - It's her favourite, and she - (ribbit) - If you could just - I prefer not to get involved.
No, no, totally.
All you'd have to do is just sorta - I'm not even here.
- Could you like, lean it on your arm and - I'm blending into the background.
- Here sweetie! - (Toy rattles) - There we go.
Thank you for that.
(Ella cries) (Clears throat) (Rapid knocking on door) Hi.
Hi, I'm gonna need you to take your family.
My mom can't take them because of her new vagina.
Oh, and remember that form you signed without even getting my consent? - Meet Narla.
- I'm not even here.
(Chuckles) Oh, she's here, all right, and she's a real fuckin' treat.
You guys have a blast! - Bye! - A new vagina? Kate? Do you have any snacks? We haven't eaten in hours.
(Brakes squeak, turns engine off) So, what are you guys gonna do? I dunno, hang out.
Hang out, eat snacks, stay up late.
- Pretty much.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
'K, I'll call you in the morning.
Okay.
I'm just gonna come to the door with you.
Oh, no you really don't have to.
It's okay, I just have something really quick I wanna say to him.
- Whoa.
- It's okay, you're not in any danger, I just wanted to show my face and apologize for my behaviour the other day.
Okay, now that's big of you, I guess.
Hope you can understand that although I grossly overreacted, I was just being protective.
I saw my daughter in a strange man's car, and well you know, I freaked.
I guess now we know where Alice gets her spunk.
Oh okay.
- Hi, Mrs.
Carlson.
- Hi, Brenna! I also owe you an apology.
I'm sorry for scaring you.
There's no excuse for that.
Oh, it-it's okay.
It was kinda funny.
Oh.
Mom, can I go upstairs with Brenna? Yup.
Away you go.
Okay.
Have fun! Those two girls, best friends, huh? - Yeah, besties.
- Mhmm.
You know, it's good that uh, we have a connection now, too.
Uh yeah, it just took me yanking you out of your car.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
But, if I may, you know, as parents, we wanna try to avoid passing down some of our less desirable attributes, you know? I'm not sure I follow.
Uh, it's nothing really but since Brenna's been spending so much time with Alice, I've just noticed some interesting new vocabulary.
Vocabulary.
Like um, what? Well, for example, the other night she said "horseshit", when I told her that screen time was over for the night.
I mean, it's not that big of a deal, it's just something for us to look out for.
- Mhmm.
- Just wanted to flag it.
Flagged! - Great.
- Yup, great.
These lips, my lips Which lips, those lips Keep your hands off my lips (those lips) Unless you're gonna tip I know you feel like giving up, but we're here because we got a Hail Mary.
- (Sceptical sigh) - I got eggs.
What kinda kid you want? Healthy eater? I once ate like 12 hot dogs.
Resourceful? I can turn almost anything in this house into a bong.
You get locked outta your car, I once broke into a van with nothin' but a hammer and a beer.
What was the beer for? I-I drank it, and then I smashed the window with the hammer.
Okay, my fertility isn't a joke.
Both of you, out now.
- Wait! You owe me.
- I get it.
You're uncomfortable with a little me inside of you, although Frankie didn't have that problem, right Frankie? Oh.
You're offering me your lover's eggs? How old are you, anyway? Old enough to bag three golds in Division 1 swimming, biatch.
Okay, see there, she may be a dirtbag, but she is a talented dirtbag! - Tell her about school.
- I dropped out.
No, not that.
Oh, I had a 3.
5 GPA.
Well, that's-that's pretty good.
Yeah, right? And her dad was in Mensa.
Yeah.
Didn't shut the fuck up about it.
Really? This feels like the right time to tell you - that I'm also a sick musician.
- Nope, she's not.
Swims like a fish, though.
- So I find that good cause, - Mhmm.
it was perfect.
It was this women's clinic, and then they tell me a developer bought up the land, it's getting teared down.
Back to the drawing board, I guess.
What are you talking about? That's the best-case scenario.
I'm not following.
Kate, you have the woman power to get the word out, and you become this developer's worst nightmare.
Oh what, like save the place? You think a couple retweets are gonna make these guys budge? Wow, I didn't know you were so easily deterred.
Well I'm You're gonna have to get a little more creative than that, Kate.
If you wanna win.
Okay, these guys are clearly willing to play dirty.
Now the question is, are you? Yeah.
Where are you from? Like, what planet? Did you get any angry calls today? - A few.
Less than yesterday.
- Exactly, and there are gonna be even less tomorrow.
So just ride out the storm, you're gonna be good.
(Soft piano jazz plays) I feel like I could say anything to you, and you wouldn't be affected.
Hmm.
Let's try it out.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
My son got suspended from school.
Grades don't matter.
My mom got vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Hobbies are healthy.
I used to be really into Japanese cartoon porn.
But I'm weaning myself off of it, but Good for you.
Baby steps, there.
What about you? What about me? I'm an open book.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Kids? - No.
- Pets? - No.
- Wife? - Divorced.
- Why? - She wanted kids.
(Chuckles) Favourite song? - Ooh, "Cream", Wu-Tang.
- Really? Hmm, cash really does rule everything around me.
I've really loved talking with you, Kate.
- Oh, do you have to go? - Yeah, I do.
- It's been really nice, Kate.
- Yeah, yeah.
Let me know if my good advice gets you that win, huh? I will.
(Chuckles) Fuck me.
(Wu-Tang Clan's "Cream" Plays) Word up Cash rules everything around me Cream - Yeah - (Knocking on door) Check this ol' fly shit out - Word up - Hi.
I'm so sorry about Narla, that was totally my bad.
God she (Objects clatter) Cash rules everything around me Cream Get the money Dollar, dollar bill y'all Cash rules everything around me Cream Get the money Dollar, dollar bill y'all