Batman (1966) s03e07 Episode Script

NARRATOR".
Another brisk bright day blossoms in Gotham City.
But is day the only thing that's blooming, or isn't blooming? The park is ready, commissioner.
The police are ready.
All the flower children in Gotham City are ready for their fancy flower-in.
But there are no flowers.
No flowers in Gotham City, Chief O'Hara? Somehow someone has cornered the flower market.
Mainly the lilacs.
Oh, sure, there's gonna be trouble at that flower-in with no flowers, begorra.
Plenty of trouble.
And all because I, Louie, the Lilac the great Louie, the Lilac have cornered the flower market.
But what do you expect to gain by that, Louie? Some young people of the flower generation will be the future leaders of the country, Arbutus.
And when I have them within my flower-power, and control their minds Gotham City will be my garden to loot and plunder.
And later, the world.
To the Flowermobile.
Let's start with Princess Primrose.
They all tune in on her.
NARRATOR".
While at the flowerless flower-in Some flower-in, Princess Primrose, without any flowers.
I mean, it's freaky, man.
Like, how can we take a flower love trip? Think flowers, Dogwood.
You know, just think flowers.
Barbara.
Barbara Gordon.
Hello, Thelma.
It's not Thelma any longer, Barbara.
I'm Princess Primrose.
I'm a flower child now, and these are my flower friends.
We're having a flower-in, you know.
It's cool, man, and you'll blow your mind.
I think we'll call you Hyacinth.
I think you've flipped a petal or two.
It's Louie, the Lilac, in his Flower mobile.
Oh, I knew Louie, the Lilac would come to our rescue.
There you are.
Flowers.
Oh, I'm grooved, man.
Lilacs for my flower children.
There you are.
Lilacs, lilacs.
Flowers.
Lilacs for my flower children.
Flowers.
Lilacs.
There you are, all of you.
Lilacs, lilacs.
Ah, Princess Primrose.
Come, let's go back to my greenhouse and plan our worldwide flower-in.
Away, Acacia.
Man, now, that really gets me uptight.
I mean, Princess Primrose splitting with Louie, the Lilac? I mean, that's a bum trip.
Like, these plastic flowers ain't where it's at, man.
I'm tuned out, you know? But, Daddy, somehow he mesmerized her and then drove off with her.
Barbara, the police have many serious things to worry about.
Besides some Princess Primrose being whisked away from a public park in a Flowermobile.
That's just it.
She wasn't whisked away, she was kidnapped.
I'm sure of it.
And she's a friend of mine.
I went to college with her when she was Thelma Jones.
We're late for a meeting with the city council, Barbara.
Relax.
I can't relax.
I'm late too.
I should've been at the library an hour ago.
Barbara, a good librarian is a calm librarian.
Of course, Ms.
Gordon.
I'll call him.
It's, uh, Commissioner Gordon's daughter, sir.
Barbara Gordon on the red phone? This is Batman, Ms.
Gordon.
I probably shouldn't have used this phone, Batman.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Not at all.
Robin and I were just putting a flower decal on the Batmobile.
We're to be guests of honor at a flower-in this afternoon.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about, the flower-in.
NARRATOR".
And in Louie, the Lilac's isolated greenhouse which, in turn, houses his humid hothouse I don't know what you did to me, Louie, or why I'm here but how can I run a flower-in from this greenhouse? Flower-ins aren't of prime importance to me, Primrose.
It's the flower children, and you're their princess.
Sometimes I think I'm too much of a ding-a-ling.
- So does Barbara Gordon.
-Barbara Gordon? The police commissioner's daughter who works at Gotham Library.
She was walking through the park this morning when you arrived in your Flowermobile.
Police Commissioner Gordon? All right, Primrose, into the hothouse.
A good place to keep you out of sight until your friends get my message.
Lock the door.
When the stupefying aromatic spray from my pocket lilac wears off she may try to get out.
Acacia, you keep your eye on her, you understand? And see that the hothouse lets off more steam than she does.
Arbutus, tail Barbara Gordon.
Who knows what she might have told her father? Get going.
I'm going down to police headquarters.
The Batmobile's usually parked in an alley nearby.
This may be my big chance.
I don't dig this fade-out of Princess Primrose.
And I don't dig Louie, the Lilac, either.
Or his plastic flowers.
I mean, flower people try to do good, you know, and spread joy-pollen.
But all Louie does is make a bad scene.
So let's us make a little rumble down at fuzztown.
Come on.
My daughter Barbara had no right to call you with the red phone.
It precipitated the first real argument we've ever had.
'Tis a sad thing to hear.
She was understandably concerned about Princess Primrose.
And this Louie, the Lilac, what do you know about him? Very little, Batman.
We'll check with the Batcomputer about the present whereabouts of Louie, the Lilac.
- Yes, Bonnie? - Commissioner there are a bunch of flower children out here to see you.
Flower children? All right, send them-- Wait a minute, Bonnie.
Hold on.
We'll go out the window.
Otherwise, we'll be mobbed.
Mobbed? In police headquarters? The flower children think we're cool, man.
We turn them on, you know.
Yes, please, be gentle with your visitors, commissioner.
Although it may not be understood by more literal minds in their own way, they're doing what they can to correct the world's woes with love and flowers.
All right, Bonnie.
I'll see them now.
Brace yourself for some nutty nosegays, Chief O'Hara.
What's that? It's a flowery little advertising card, Robin.
"Lila's Lilac Shop.
11 Lavender Lane.
" This bears investigation.
I strongly suspect that this lilac-colored card could be a plant.
Lila? Louie.
- Lila? -Yes, Louie.
You may be receiving a couple of unusual customers, Lila.
Batman and Robin.
Batman and Robin? If they've fallen for my little ruse.
Do you still have some alba vulgaria in stock? Poison lilacs? There may be some tired ones around, Louie.
Why? I'm sure that the dynamic duo will be overwhelmed by their fragrance anyway, Lila.
And I'll be there shortly to help you dispose of the soon-to-be-creped crusaders.
Amazing.
Truly amazing.
Look at all these lilacs, Robin.
Good day, gentlemen.
Obviously you haven't been affected by the current flower shortage in Gotham City.
I guess I'm just lucky.
Lucky, or being favored for some special reason? I'm afraid I don't understand you, Batman.
But my display is nice, isn't it? And I have some other very rare lilacs in the rear room, if you'd like to see them.
I'm always interested in the unusual of any specie.
I'll bring them out.
What do you think? A wild lilac chase'? I think she makes a delightful distraction for whatever Louie, the Lilac's ultimate scheme may be.
Oh, dear.
How clumsy of me.
I'll get them.
Robin, look out.
Those could be poison alba vulgaria.
While in Barbara Gordon's apartment I may be imagining things, Charlie, but I think some man followed me home from the library.
He came up the service stairs when I took the elevator.
If he found the fire escape landing, he might very well be out on my-- What are you doing on this terrace? Just admiring the view of Gotham City, lady, that's all.
From my terrace? Faced the wrong way? The police will be interested in this.
The police ain't gonna be interested in nothing at all, lady.
NARRATOR".
And while Barbara faces her vexatious visitor what's happening in the hothouse of Louie's greenhouse? Man-eating lilacs? Holy purple Cannibals.
Exactly, Boy Blunder.
A rare specie just in from Brazil which I crossed with even more carnivorous plants.
And gusty gourmands they are.
They got ahold of an explorer one day in the jungle and left nothing but his shoelaces.
What happened to Princess Primrose? She's drying out in the office.
Flower children wilt fast.
She and her flower friends will do more than just wilt before I'm through with them.
- Come on, let's get out of here.
-Oh, yes, Louie.
It's so humid in here.
Gosh, Batman, what a way to go.
Eaten alive by a lilac.
Well, Robin, at least it's a flowery finish.
NARRATOR".
With the dynamic duo being devoured whole by a strange specie of man-eating lilac what are we doing here in the Batcave? Maybe this call on the red phone will tell us.
I'm sorry, sir.
He's out.
- Out where? -I don't know, sir.
When he and Master Robin left, they were on their way to your office.
When they left, they were on their way back to the Batcave to consult the Batcomputer about a renowned criminal named Louie, the Lilac.
Louie, the Lilac? If you hear from Batman, have him contact me.
Of course, sir.
Barbara's phone is dead, Batman is out.
Nothing is going-- Now, commissioner, watch your blood pressure.
To consult the Batcomputer about a renowned criminal called Louie, the Lilac.
And he hasn't been heard from since.
"Lila's Lilac Shop.
11 Lavender Lane.
" At least they're gentle about it.
I haven't felt one bite me yet.
Man-eating lilacs have no teeth, Robin.
It's a process of ingestion through their tendrils.
Batman, we've gotta get out of this somehow.
Can't you get to your utility belt and signal Alfred? No, they've already consumed my utility belt, Robin.
And my hands are entwined by these vicious vines.
Holy Luther Burbank.
How are they doing, Louie? Ooh! I can't look.
A lilac's digestive processes are much slower than a human.
It takes a little time.
You monster.
Monster? What would your flower children think of such language from their princess? I'm sure that when you speak to them shortly, you'll talk of me in much more endearing terms.
Let's really put my flower-power to work in the park.
To the flower-in.
Whilst in Barbara's apartment Lady, it don't take no 10 minutes to powder your nose in a locked bedroom.
- Who are you? What do you want? -From one interloper to another perhaps you might answer those questions.
-I ain't interloping.
A lady friend of mine just locked herself in her bedroom.
If she looked herself in the bedroom, there must have been a reason.
Well, that's her reason and mine, not yours.
- You, uh, got some connection with Batman? -Speaking of connections what happened to that phone? -She was gonna call the cops-- So you ripped out the phone and she locked herself in her bedroom? Why were you here? Now, wait a minute, wait.
Everything's gonna be all right.
I'm leaving.
I'm leaving now.
I'm getting out of here.
The cops and her father, Commissioner Gordon.
Strange, that looked like Batgirl out on the terrace.
Batgirl? Batgirl? Oh, Barbara, I've been so worried about you.
What was Batgirl doing here? Batgirl? I believe you saw the intruder who followed me home from the library.
I tried to call you at the office, but he ripped out the phone.
Put men around this building and have that phone repaired.
When you wanted to be on your own when you insisted on taking an apartment, I was afraid something like this would happen.
Oh, Daddy, nothing's happened.
I locked myself in the bedroom and I'm perfectly all right.
Really.
- I think you should move back home.
-Is that what you were trying to call me about? No, I-- I thought you might have dinner with me tonight.
But when the line was dead Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry.
And I'd love to have dinner with you tonight.
First I have to go back to the library for a while this afternoon.
I'd only come home for lunch and discovered the intruder.
Well, he won't intrude on you again, I can tell you that for sure.
I hope you're right, Chief O'Hara.
Thank you for being worried about me.
I'll call you when I get home from work.
Good girl.
Bye.
There's a lot of traffic on that balcony today.
I went through your service hall, and then came along the outside ledge.
I couldn't risk being caught.
After all, we're the only ones who know our little secret.
The rumor's around that something's happened to Batman and Robin.
Mr.
Wayne looked into it a bit but I have reason to believe that they were last seen in a florist's on Lavender Lane.
Though the Batmobile has been located outside an isolated greenhouse.
I can't tell all you flower children what a fine and generous man Louie, the Lilac, is and how he's cornered the flower market to make this flower-in a success.
And what hopes and dreams he has for us and the future of the world.
And what hopes and dreams he has for us and the-- NARRATOR".
What's this? Apparently Louie's stupefying aromatic spray has worn off.
And You've tripped out, Primrose.
Groovy, but in the wrong groove.
You're right, man.
He's tuned out.
Grifty.
And now he's putting a period on Batman and Robin in his poisonous purple pad.
Batman and Robin? Wow, man, he ought to be called Louie, the Louse.
Get us out of here, Acacia.
Get us out quick! After him! - Let's go! - Let's get him! NARRATOR".
And shortly, back with the semi-digested duo.
One of these monsters is nibbling at my ear, Batman.
I said, one of these monsters is nibbling at my ear.
I heard you, Robin.
I've managed to loosen one foot.
There's a flower pot next to it.
If I can just kick it through that glass.
Well, we finally got rid of those flower creeps for now.
But' I'll get my flower-power to work yet.
I wonder how the Brazilian man-eaters are doing with the dynamic duo.
Aah! They're not even chewed up a little.
Nor will we be.
A word of advice, Louie.
One blast of cool air kills these blooming cannibals far quicker than they can devour any human repast.
Gosh, yes.
Get Azalea, Petunia.
Not you again.
- How did you get mixed up in this? -Maybe some other time and place we can have a question-and-answer session, Batman, but not here.
Louie, she's got a spray can of powdery mildew.
Don't use it.
Don't use that spray.
Anything it touches molds and decays.
They're getting away, Batman.
Don't worry, Robin.
Go out to the Batmobile.
Alert Commissioner Gordon, he'll round them up.
He's mildewed.
He's wilting.
Maybe mildewed and wilting and molding and decaying on the outside, Lila.
But inside I'm still Louie, the Lilac.
And somehow, some day, I'm going to control the flower market of the world.
And with it, the entire flower generation.
Batman, there's about a thousand flower children outside.
They found your Flowermobile, and they're after your budding scalp.
Louie, it looks like it's lilac time for you.
Never.
Never! Never! Batman, he's thrown himself into the man-eating lilacs.
Don't worry, Robin.
That cold blast of air put those lilacs in a torpor.
Go back outside and calm the flower children.
- They'll mob me.
-Groovy.
And I think your car's arriving.
Batgirl, would you take this young lady--? She's gone, Batman.
She knew when to get out of here.
Smart dame.
Who is she? I don't know.
I never have, perhaps I never will.
But I Wish I did.
I calmed down the flower children and they've gone, Batman.
And the police have taken Lila away.
I said we'd bring in Louie, the Lilac.
Holy hoof beats.
Exactly, Robin.
And if I'm not mistaken, a band of Bessarovian Cossacks just rode by.
Olga, wait for me.
Olga.
Oh, come on.
Excuse me.
Darling, hurry up.
We don't have all day.
- Oh, Olga.
-Come on.
Olga, wait for me.
Wait.
Egghead.
What do you suppose he's doing back in Gotham City? And that woman.
She looked like a real Tartan princess.
I predict that Batman and Robin will soon be getting a call on the red telephone.
But first let's rescue Louie, the Lilac, from those clinging vines.
NARRATOR".
Be sure to watch the next episode for what Egghead and a Tartar princess named Olga have in store for the Caped Crusaders.