Being Mary Jane (2013) s03e07 Episode Script
If the Shoe Fits...
MARY JANE: Previously on Being Mary Jane Patrick, you're already an hour behind today.
- No, I'm getting better.
- No, I don't need better.
If you wanna work at KO Cola, you have to perform.
I am required to be on the ground in Syria and Nigeria.
GREG: The last thing that we need to do is to send a recently outed reporter in the middle of hostile territory.
- It's SNC's call! - You have some nerve I quit.
Do you really think it's worth it? They're not letting us be real journalists.
We're puppets, Mary Jane.
Yeah, well paid puppets.
And? (DOORBELL RINGING) Guess who's back? You found my summer bag.
Oh, you've gotta stop doubting me.
My first name is Fendi and my last name is Birkin, baby.
(LAUGHING) SALESMAN: Yes, Miss Paul, that's how you do it.
Oh, you're gonna have all these heifers wanting to ketchup, no mustard.
I need to see it with my work outfit, though.
I don't know why, but go do your thing.
Yes, life has been given.
I told you, you can rock this bag with everything.
How much is it? (SIGHING) If you have to ask.
That looks like a birthday bag to me.
ASSISTANT: Oh, I'd say so.
SALESMAN: Now you know you'll make that $30,000 back.
Thank you.
Swipe.
It's good.
- It's the best.
- It's an investment.
- Absolutely.
- Right.
NIECY: Girl, this Bump 'n Go will smooth, straighten, and tame your hair and give it the body that it needs.
- The key to it is the Ultra Ceramic Tourmaline technology.
- Hmm-mmm.
It guarantees a smooth, straight emulsion that won't that won't pull out this beautiful head of hair.
I'm not gonna front.
This do how my hair lay.
But $130, though? I'd have to sell one of my kids to afford this.
- Sorry, girl.
- I understand, girl.
No worries.
But real talk.
You need to be doing hair, not selling these.
KIKI: I told you nobody was gonna buy those expensive-ass - flat irons, Niecy.
- Where did you come from and why? (LAUGHING) I'm just saying.
I sold three today, so So, you're buying lunch, right? No, I'm brown-baggin' it today.
Again? Girl, you never eat with us.
Well, I'm trying to save up money.
Treyvion is always in my pockets with his big-ass feet.
He grew out of those shoes that I got him two weeks ago.
I go through the same thing with Jaycion.
He's wearin' a 4T and he's barely walkin'.
Yeah, and you know, I've gotta give my grandparents some money for watching him.
Girl, why? They're grandparents.
They like watching kids.
Girl, you need to start looking out for yourself.
You've worn those leggings so many times, they can probably stand up on their own.
(WOMEN LAUGHING) (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) I'm just saying.
Listen, I don't have money to buy clothes for myself and my kids.
I just don't.
KIKI: That's what I mean, girl.
You need to work the mall.
I am working at the mall.
What are you talking about? - No, I mean "work the mall.
" - Oh - Today's pay day, right? - Hmm-mmm.
My girl Brenda down at Wet Seal is gonna hook us up with her employee discount.
- Why? - Because Chante hooked her up with hers last week at her job.
You get one, right? Yeah, I get 20%.
You need to come with us.
Brenda will hook you up and whenever she needs a flat iron, you can just return the favor.
- That's how we do.
- That's how we do Why you touching me? - You don't know me.
- Okay, okay.
This only 30? (ALL LAUGHING) SALESMAN: You'll make that $30,000 back.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Hello? Oh, perfect.
I'm coming right out.
(MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES) Oh, just a sec.
Happy Birthday to me.
Set it up.
- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.
All I do is win, win, win no matter what Got money on my mind I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building - Everybody hands go up - MARY JANE: Everybody hands go up - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - Up down, up down, up down - Up down, up down, up down - 'Cause all I do - 'Cause all I do - Is win, win, win - Is win, win, win - And if you goin' in - And if you goin' in - Put your hands in the air - Put your hands in the air - Make 'em stay there - Make 'em stay there (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) (MUSIC STOPS) MARY JANE: I can't believe you.
This picture doesn't work here? That you're selling your house.
Save the theatrics, MJ.
You knew I was going to go to Nigeria.
It's not like you read it on my Facebook or something.
- It still feels the same.
- Okay.
And why are you moving things around? I like your house the way it is.
I have a man that's interested in my house already and I want him to see the house in its best light.
What's wrong with your feet? New shoes.
I see why they call them Red Bottoms.
Look at the bottom of my feet.
(SIGHING) Three words.
Keep the mystery.
A blow dryer, ten minutes at a time.
It'll loosen up the leather in your shoes.
No biggie.
See, now, that right there, the fact that you even know that is all the more reason you have to stay.
Who else is gonna give me random fashion facts? Oh, come on, girl, you're gonna be fine.
That's what the internet is for.
You know that's not why Nigerians use the internet.
(MARK LAUGHING) All them damn email scams.
Uncle Owajewan just hit me the other day talking about "I got ten million dollars, "but I'm gonna need your bank account information.
" Easy.
Nigeria has done nothing to you.
Nigeria has taken my friend and I don't like it.
It's just not the news I needed to hear today, - especially today, of all days.
- (MARK SIGHING) What's going on today? Are you kidding me? MARK: (SIGHING) No, Mary Jane.
There's just so much going on in my mind that's gotta - Can you just tell me? - (CELL PHONE RINGING) I hope you get bubble guts in Nigeria.
How about that? You know, that's not funny.
Hey, Patrick, I knew you wouldn't forget.
- PATRICK: (OVER PHONE) Mom had another flare up.
- What? PATRICK: Yeah, she fell and bumped her head.
The doctors kept her overnight.
She was in the hospital? Oh, she's fine, Mary Jane.
We just brought her home.
I'm on my way.
MARK: Everything okay? - Patrick! - Shh! I just got Mom to sleep.
(SOFTLY) Why was Mom going up and down the stairs anyway? This was bound to happen.
Well, she's hard-headed.
You know that.
They need to move to a one-level.
Yeah, right.
Let me know how that goes.
Something's gotta change.
Why didn't you call me? I'm always gonna be at work, but that's no reason not to tell me my mother's in the freakin' hospital.
Well, you've been through a lot.
Thought we could handle this one.
- Okay.
- She just needs to rest, slow down a bit, and she'll be back to her old stubborn ways.
Oh, joy.
What are you making? It's a roasted carrot turmeric soup.
I read that turmeric is a good anti-inflammatory herb.
It'll help Mom with her joint pain.
But you're making her a cake.
That's the last thing she needs.
Uh, D'Asia asked me to bake my famous chocolate triple-fudge cake.
I love that cake.
Well, I'll save you a slice.
Oh, you're gonna save me a slice.
How about I save you a slice? - Oh, nah, nah, Letta, that's for me and my niece.
- Oh! What are you doing here? - Oh, Mom fell.
Didn't you hear? - Yeah, I know Mom fell.
But you fly across the country 'cause Mom fell? She's my mother, Letta.
I know, she's mine, too, but she's fallen hundreds of times.
Why would you kill your frequent flyer miles 'cause Mom slipped? Look, y'all don't love her like I do.
(LAUGHING) Whatever.
How's L.
A.
? It's cool.
Profitable.
(EXHALES LOUDLY) I bet.
Are you staying out of trouble? Letta, just 'cause Mom fell, doesn't mean we need to stand in for her.
I know, right, chill.
I got this.
Oh, you got this.
Hmm-mmm.
Hmm-mmm.
So, you're baking that cake for D'Asia.
I thought D'Asia didn't like chocolate.
Well, I guess she does now.
(LAUGHING) And you take a red-eye across the country because Mom slipped.
What other reason do I have? Oh, you guys are funny.
What? Oh, y'all are funny.
Funny what? Y'all are funny.
Oh, play dumb, play dumb, 'cause you're good at it.
I gotta go, but this is good.
This is good.
This is good.
What's she laughing at? I don't know.
Hey, hey, are you open after work? We need you for the night shift to help Mama to the bathroom and stuff.
Oh, yeah, to come back and help.
Sure! 'Cause I'm helpful.
I'll be back tonight to "help.
" What's wrong with you? Oh, hey, tell Mom "Get well soon, kiddo!" (BOTH CHUCKLE) - What's she talking about? - I don't know.
MARY JANE: You guys are funny.
(PATRICK LAUGHING) DELIVERYMAN: Watch your back there.
Excuse me.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING) Hey, buddy How's it going? Hey.
I'm just trying to finish up these orders before I head over to the Blue Grill.
I'm trying to get them to try a few cases of our bacon soda.
Well, if anyone can sell that crap, you can.
Hey, I'm about to take a donut break, if you're interested.
- Oh, is it donut time already? - Yeah.
I'll see you in the break room.
(SOFTLY WHISTLES) Donut time.
- All right.
- (CLEARING THROAT) Oh, Jesus, Jessie, you're gonna pop a blood vessel.
I need a perk quick today.
I've gotta stay awake so I can finish all this paperwork.
Oh, that works too fast for me.
I snort it and your boy will be shakin' like Kylie Jenner at an R.
Kelly concert.
Actually, better luck there than being at the adoption agency when Woody Allen rolls through.
- (MEN LAUGHING) - JESSIE: Katie, you hang with us during donut time, but you don't want any donuts.
You're not a narc are ya? It really works that well, huh? Tell her.
Patrick? Well, before a-bombs, Patrick couldn't even focus.
He was all over the place.
Couldn't work our system, lost track of orders, the true definition of a screw-up.
Look at the man now.
One of our top sellers in the company.
He's still ugly, though.
Look at him.
Well, as long as your mama thinks I'm hot, I ain't trippin'.
- Oh.
- (LAUGHING) Does it really work? PATRICK: It does for me, but, hey You'd have to make that call.
MEN: (CHANTING) Katie, Katie, Katie Okay.
Give me the other half of the pill.
If Patrick Square-Ass can do it, so can I.
Ooh.
Yeah, Katie.
All right.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: We wanted to come here.
I wanted to be here because Africa is on the move.
- Africa is one of the fastest growing regions - (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) FEMALE REPORTER: There's a battle raging as we arrive and fresh troops are being sent in to fight.
Cameroon and Chadian soldiers are trying to hold this bridge.
It stands between them and Boko Haram on the other side of Nigeria.
Those who survived this latest massacre are tortured by what happened.
MALE TRANSLATOR: Look at this.
Those are all bullet holes.
There were 37 people.
No one moved.
What about the kidnapped girls? - Oh, yes.
- Are you worried about them? I worry about them, too.
Yeah, my sister there.
My brother is too.
FEMALE REPORTER: Many of the people in this congregation have relatives and friends in the area where the schoolgirls were taken.
And intelligence sources say they're using satellite imagery and tracking to try to pinpoint where the girls are.
Whatever is their motive, the innocent girls, the little children, should not be made victim.
FEMALE REPORTER: Our sources say a deal was struck to free some of the Boko Haram families in return for some of the girls.
But the deal collapsed when the Nigerian President went to the Summit in Paris and his Western backers, including the British, were vehemently against it.
KARA: So, that's the package.
You like it? MARK: I love it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Hey.
Hmm? I get it.
(SIGHING) Yeah.
When you make decisions for yourself, it affects others.
- Yes, it does.
- Yeah.
But, if it helps, you'll remember, I didn't wanna work with you.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Well, now that I'm leaving, maybe you can have my office.
No, I actually prefer my paycheck, thank you very much.
- (MARK LAUGHING) - You know, I can't I can't spend the office and I certainly can't feed my kids the office.
I can't clothe my kids with the office.
- So, I'm good.
- (LAUGHS) Well, my sweet, mean and twisted Kara KARA: Mmm? I will miss you most of all.
Take care of yourself out there, okay? I'll be really pissed if something happens to you.
I will.
Okay.
I look forward to giving you a good show.
I appreciate it, Kara.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (MESSAGE ALERT BEEPING) Happy Birthday! (ALL CHEERING, HOOTING) (KARA LAUGHING) You care.
You actually care.
KARA: Of course we do, mama.
We love you! Come here! Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
- KARA: You're welcome.
- (INHALES DEEPLY) (ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING) Thank you.
Now cut this leaning tower of a cake.
Yeah, well, it was in the passenger seat and I was texting and driving.
So, anyway, how old are you now, anyway? You know not to ask a lady such questions.
Of course.
No, no, no, of course.
I was just trying to figure out - if this was the first or second time - It's the first time I am you turned 39.
Right.
Right.
Your cake is better.
She just started baking, so we're gonna eat it and like it.
I'm gonna be right back.
I've gotta get these boys started on their homework.
- I'll get you some cake when we get back, okay? - Bye, fellas.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
Did you get my email? No.
WOMAN: Happy birthday, MJ.
Didn't you tell me your brother was out in L.
A.
working for Barbara Ling-Cho, the developer? Yeah.
Why? Why? What's up? Apparently, there are some investment groups, ten in all, that have signed a petition accusing Barbara Ling-Cho of bid rigging.
Why? Probably because it was announced that Inglewood won the bid in L.
A.
to build the new stadium.
- (SIGHING) - Yeah.
Two years ago, Cho acquired a bunch of property in public auctions at the lowest price point possible.
No one thought nothing of it.
It's Inglewood.
But then it's announced that a certain stadium is being built dead smack in the middle of Cho's properties.
Now either she's lucky or an evil genius.
Well, my brother just started working for her, so he He wouldn't be involved.
I hope not.
I know Jake on Arthur's team was talking about doing an investigative report on it.
Oh, now he wants to do something that requires effort.
Nice.
It's a good story.
We should do it.
If your brother wasn't working for her.
I I sent the email.
Take a look and Happy Birthday.
Thanks.
Hey, guys.
I brought you some snacks.
Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome.
- Yeah, thanks.
Here you go, baby.
Sure.
If you guys need anything, Theresa is standing right outside.
- So you just ask her.
- Okay.
Okay? Can we play on our iPads when we're done with our homework? - Yeah.
Sure.
- Thanks.
- Wow, thanks.
- You're welcome.
Have a good show, Mom.
Thank you, baby.
NIECY: That's a pretty color.
Okay, so you mean to tell me I can get all this stuff on a discount.
Yes, Niecy, we're good.
Okay.
Girl, this dress is fire.
Oh, you're gonna wear that while you're serving pizza at Saborro's? - No, hater, I'ma wear it to the Drake concert.
- You got tickets? Yeah, girl.
You know Junior and his home boys are scalpin'.
- You should come.
- I mean, I can, if I could get somebody to watch Jaycion.
Your mama can't watch him? Nah, she's been trippin' ever since she got her new boyfriend, so Niecy, you wanna come? Junior got a homeboy.
He ain't takin' nobody.
Hm, how's he lookin'? I mean, he's all right.
He's got a little chipped tooth, but he's real funny and he got a job at the bank.
Oh, is he a teller? Nah, girl, he's a security guard.
Well, you know I've gotta find somebody to watch the kids.
My grandmother is sick, so my grandfather can't be watching them.
He's gotta look after her.
Girl, have your babies' father take care of them.
NIECY: Girl, they're barely around.
Jaycion's father's the same way.
He ain't never around.
Baby daddies have it so easy.
- They come and go as they please.
- Right.
Now, see, that's why I ain't havin' sex.
- Renee, shut up.
- Renee! Why, why would you say that? Why? I'm just sayin'.
I like my freedom.
We do, too.
Oh, come on, Niecy, let's go pay for these.
Renee is so stuck up.
I can't stand her.
Then why do you hang out with her? Because she has a car.
(NIECY SCOFFS) Hook us up? CLERK: Who is she? Oh, Niecy's cool.
She works at that kiosk over by the food court.
- Where they sell the hair supplies? - Hmm-mmm.
CLERK: Oh, that's so fine.
They got some fly stuff over there.
So, next, Niecy's gonna hook me up with one of those flat irons on your employee discount, right? Oh, yeah, we can do that.
That's what I'm sayin'.
This shirt's on sale.
You get another 15%.
Okay, cool.
We can do that.
How much do I owe you? (ALL LAUGHING) There were three fatalities.
The investigation is still ongoing and the FBI is also going to look into the case.
Now, on a lighter note, some of our viewers may remember our story about one of America's truest treasures Whiskey the Cat, the ferocious feline who became a hero when he fought off a pit bull protecting his six-year-old owner.
He sustained a deep laceration on his side and I am proud to report that he's back home resting comfortably.
Thank God, for Whiskey.
Whiskey the Cat! Seriously, Whiskey the Cat? - (KARA LAUGHING) - I shouldn't even let you sit in my car making me read that crap.
KARA: No, no, no.
Hey.
You read it with dignity, okay? Whiskey the Cat is America's truest treasure.
Pet stories are skewing well.
What the hell can I tell you? (ALL LAUGHING) Don't snort in my car.
(SNORTING LAUGH) I'm sorry.
We should bring Whiskey in this car.
(SNORTING LAUGH) Oh, my goodness How much is this thing anyway? You know, it's not about the price.
It's not about the price.
It's It's, um It pays for itself.
- KARA: Oh.
- And it's good for the environment.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
KARA: Right, the environment.
Right, right, right.
Don't you have to set up a A whole charging station and whatnot for this car? How much is that? MARY JANE: It's not that much.
You should buy one.
- A Tesla? - Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'll wait, thank you very much.
Why? Because I have them.
That's why.
(BOYS LAUGHING) What are you guys watching? Video of this man.
He puts butter on stairs and watches people fall down.
- (MARY JANE LAUGHING) - That's not funny.
- MARY JANE: No, actually, it is.
- No, it's not.
Did you guys see the one where they put the baby oil on the bathroom floor for when people come - out of the shower? - Oh, God.
No, where'd you find that? Stop encouraging them.
- It's so good.
- Seriously, zip it.
Guys, hey, go wait in the car for a minute, please? Fine.
I'll be there real soon.
- Later, fellas.
Thanks.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, my goodness Oh John had to work, so I picked them up from school.
And they heard I was coming to see "The Tesla," so they wanted to tag along.
It's all good.
Please.
How are you doing? Oh, girl, if I don't have sex soon, I'm gonna freakin' break the shower head off.
I'm not even joking.
Okay, uh, I was talking about you and John shacking up and the kids and the whole thing.
But, yeah, that That works.
You know, we're trying to work it out.
Today was a good day.
How are you feeling with Mark leaving? I wanna kick him in his face, quite frankly, now that you ask.
I mean, I had that damn show running on autopilot, easy money, and now I've actually gotta work for it.
They wanna rotate in some anchors and see who sticks, just like they did on Talk Back, because I'm not overwhelmed, as it is.
It sounds stressful.
- Yo, if you ever need a place to crash - Mmm-hmm? You're more than welcome to stay here.
Thank you.
That's sweet.
I might take you up on that one.
All right, time to go.
(LAUGHING) Where are you going? To, uh, the surprise party my family's throwing for me.
- Really? - Yeah.
Are you sure? Because nobody called me to invite me.
That's kinda weird.
Well, maybe it's just a family thing.
I mean, even PJ flew in.
Girl, PJ ain't flyin' in for you.
You know he's a mama's boy.
Patrick baked a cake, okay, triple chocolate cake, my favorite.
It's a party.
They did not forget me.
- All right.
- I'm unforgettable.
Oh Without a doubt.
Let me let you get to your "party.
" - Let me get with Where's the damn door handle - It's right there.
on this Tesla? Right there, grandma.
What happened to door handles? Oh, my God I'll just be going into my little Volvo now.
- Bye.
- Go on with your party and chocolate cake.
- (MARY JANE LAUGHING) - KARA: All right, guys, we're outta here.
Chocolate cake.
Seriously? Letta, what are you doing here? Uh, I came back to help with the rotation, remember? Oh.
Actually, Mom's good.
She's been chillin' most of the day, slept most of the day.
Uh, I guess those meds she's on put her out.
So, you don't need me.
I guess not.
(CHUCKLES) Well, where's everybody else? Uh, where is everybody? Patrick's home.
Dad went to pick Niecy up from work.
Wait! You guys really forgot my birthday? Damn, it is the 21st.
Oh, my God.
Wait, oh, wait! Letta, Letta, Letta I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
Look, I've been dealing with Mom and work stuff.
Work stuff? Yeah.
You mean like bid rigging? - Huh? - Huh? Seven years of college and all you got is "Huh?" How about "So?" Your arrogant little ass is actually admitting to being involved.
- Look - Have you lost your mind? I'm tired of white businessmen telling us to play one game while they're playing another that's helping them build wealth.
- Yeah, okay, the Bushs and the Kennedys - Yeah.
and all the Rockefellers, yes, they did some shady stuff to build their empires.
Key difference They're white! Well, good you know that I'm just following the American way.
And it's also the American way to bury black men under the jail.
- (SCOFFS) - You're facing a Federal investigation.
- Uh-uh.
- No, there is way too much money on the table and if you think that they're gonna let an Asian woman and a black dude get it, - you're delusional.
- Letta, I set up a different company.
- All right, look, it's hard to trace me back to Barbara.
- Okay.
My setup, oh, God, Letta, my setup is so tight.
I have a chance to make $25 million.
She's already under investigation.
You're You're aware of that? Get out while you can.
Baby, you're the fall guy.
You show up just in time to do her time.
Come on.
Don't you think I've thought about that? No, I don't think you've thought about that! No, you didn't think about that! Letta! Look, look, look, I'm not stupid, okay? $25 mil That's about all of us, all of us building wealth.
Look around you.
Our parents are in their golden age and should not be in the position they are financially, all right? They're supposed to be relaxing, not taking care of Patrick's daughter or their grandchildren.
Blah, blah, blah.
What do you think happens to Mom when she finds out you're in jail? Huh? It'll kill her.
Is the money worth it to you? Is it that important to you? We have a nephew named Treyvion who has a mother with a penchant for hoodies.
Now get this, with all my pedigree, they barely want me, okay, they barely want me.
Do the math, Letta.
He's well on his way to minimum wage if we're lucky.
Selling him a little short for three, aren't you? Am I? We live in the South where they shoot at kids named Treyvion for sport.
Look, if I can No, no, when When I make this work, I not only set myself up, but I set up the generations and put the Pattersons back on the road to greatness.
You're not the only one thinking about that.
Selling weed and bid rigging, PJ, is not gonna make you a hero.
It makes you a criminal.
And you're way too smart for that.
I get it.
Honestly, I absolutely get it.
But what you're trying to do, it also comes with the burden of worry and shame and guilt and constantly having to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life.
$25 million is a lot of money.
But it cannot buy you peace of mind.
I'm gonna go check on Mom.
HELEN: Are you all right? Hmm? Well, you got my arm all up in the air like I'm a scarecrow.
Sorry, Mom.
I don't know why you all doing all this fussing over me.
Oh, you fell.
You treat me like I'm dying.
Hmm.
Did you get under the arm? MARY JANE: Oh.
Can you stand, Mom? Yes, I can stand.
Just get the towel and dry me 'cause I'm cold.
Oh We're gonna have to turn the heat up.
Thank you.
Okay, okay, okay, I've got this.
Okay.
(GROANING) Thank you.
(GROANING) What's wrong? My leg.
Which one, Mom? Oh, this old right one.
Okay, where? - In my calf.
- Okay.
Yeah.
(SIGHING) Oh, that's better.
Yeah? You know, I always hated dancing.
Well, I mean, I liked dancing, but I thought I looked silly.
I didn't want people to laugh at me, so, I never danced in public.
Not even at our wedding.
- No? - Uh-uh.
Just couldn't do it.
(SIGHING) And now these old legs won't let me change my mind.
Well, for an older gal, you've got great legs.
Whenever you get a chance to dance (WHISPERING) Dance.
Okay.
(KISSES) Happy Birthday, Pauletta.
Thanks, Mom.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SIGHING) - You're out? - I'm outta here, baby.
All right.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) NIECY: Oh, thank you.
(LAUGHING) - Where are you guys coming from? - NIECY: Hey.
PAUL SR.
: Niecy's job.
MARY JANE: Oh.
Getting in a little overtime, huh? No, you know, I got off early, so I did a little shopping.
You just got your first check - and you're already shopping? - That's right.
So now you're not the only fly Patterson in the family.
(LAUGHING) Did I say that right, Niecy? Yeah, Grandpa, you said it right.
What have you got? Okay, a Coach bag.
- Hmm-mmm.
- Cute.
What's this? A bedazzled Michael Kors shirt.
Hmm-mmm.
Fly, right? Uh, no, dumb.
How much did all this cost? It only cost $200 including this.
Happy Birthday.
Baby, I don't want you spending your money on me.
How much was your check? It was $420 and I got commission and I did a little overtime this week.
So, you spent half your check on stuff you didn't need.
NIECY: (SIGHING) Is that song always gonna be the same or is it gonna change? Yeah, when you realize the whole point of you getting a job was so that you could finally take care of your responsibilities.
PAUL SR.
: Come on, now, come on.
This is her first check.
(NIECY SIGHING) (MARY JANE LAUGHS) I don't always like saying the hard stuff, Dad.
Then don't sometimes.
Look, I felt the same way.
But she needs to feel the independence of the money.
Look, you were the same as a little girl.
Well, as a little girl, I didn't have kids.
You know, I think it's time you stopped punishing her for that.
They're here.
And maybe she didn't do it the right way, but she's progressing.
You You think that's progress? Can I be honest? (LAUGHS) I don't think that's ever been your issue.
I had an abortion.
Pauletta You did what? I did the The reasonable, responsible thing because I couldn't look at my Dad and have him see a burden, a pathetic burden.
But Now I see that if I had just had the courage to come talk to you and Mom, I could have done what Niecy and Patrick do, just let other people carry my load.
I I could have had a A A baby.
Who cares if If David wanted to marry me? Who cares if I could handle it.
I've got my family, right? But, instead, I'm here, pissed that my whole entire family forgot my birthday and I could have been home blowing out 39 candles with my six-year-old.
Baby Wow.
Come here.
Come here.
PAUL SR.
: I'm so sorry.
(DOOR OPENING) Thanks for the times You didn't think I'd forget your birthday, did you? I did.
(LAUGHING) All right.
MARK: Make a wish.
(BLOWING) Nice.
(BOTH APPLAUDING) I can't believe you sold your house that fast.
Come on, girl, you know us gay boys.
We're good at curating houses everyone wants.
Well, you're more than welcome to stay here, if you like.
You know, sweetheart, I think I'm gonna go see my parents before I ship off, you know.
Oh, I did find a crew in London, top notch, vetted.
I'm gonna go see them in London before I head off to Nigeria.
Geez, you quit your job and you head out to parts unknown to chase a story.
MARK: Yeah, I know.
You're not scared? I'm scared as hell.
(LAUGHS) I don't know what's gonna happen, Mary Jane.
I really don't have a clue.
But it really scares me not to do what I wanna do, you know? It also feels so great to live in the moment.
You know you hurt my feelings, right? - What are you talking about? - When you said I wasn't a real journalist.
I did not say that.
You did.
Okay, well, I'm sorry.
That's why I'm gonna miss you.
You never did tell me what I wanted to hear.
- (MARK LAUGHS) - Jerk.
MARK: (LAUGHS) Okay, so hear this (SIGHING) I love you, Mary Jane.
And I don't know everything.
- I know.
- (MARK LAUGHS) MARK: (ON AIR) As some of you know, today is my last broadcast.
It saddens me that I won't be coming into your living rooms on a daily basis.
But I will be back with more impactful stories that pushes our thinking forward.
So, it's not "goodbye," but "I'll be seeing you.
" Five years.
Wow.
An amazing five years.
I guess it has come down to this It is time for me to push on to the next part of my journey.
It gets me every time, though.
(SIGHING DEEPLY) Old Mary Jane, huh? (LAUGHS) Man I'm doing what I wanna do, but I'm gonna miss you.
MARY JANE: I'll miss you, too.
(SIGHS) Wow.
I guess I'm gonna be free for some time.
(SIGHING DEEPLY) You know what? While I'm gone, Kara KARA: Hmm-mmm.
Make sure she gets my office.
KARA: No, thanks.
- (ALL LAUGHING) - Lance.
Yeah.
You get the furniture.
(ALL LAUGHING) Hey, why not? Thank you for an amazing five years.
I appreciate every last one of you.
To good times! ALL: To good times! - Cheers! - ALL: (APPLAUDING) Cheers! MARK: I love you, Mary Jane.
And I don't know everything.
- MARY JANE: I know.
- (MARK LAUGHING) (SONG PLAYING) Oh! Oh! Uh-uh.
That song always reminds me of when you got drunk and thought you could out dance your girl.
You really need to stop because you know you could not see me that night.
It sounds like a challenge to me.
You know what you wanna do, mama.
You feelin' froggy.
Let's leap.
What? What? (MARK LAUGHING) Okay.
- You stretch out.
- Okay.
You stretch out.
Go, girl.
- (GRUNTING) - Listen, you know when a man's right.
He engine on.
You're power walkin'.
What the hell.
Let's go.
You got to stress that running man.
You gotta really turn up.
Oh! And (GRUNTING) MARK: Uh-oh! (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- No, I'm getting better.
- No, I don't need better.
If you wanna work at KO Cola, you have to perform.
I am required to be on the ground in Syria and Nigeria.
GREG: The last thing that we need to do is to send a recently outed reporter in the middle of hostile territory.
- It's SNC's call! - You have some nerve I quit.
Do you really think it's worth it? They're not letting us be real journalists.
We're puppets, Mary Jane.
Yeah, well paid puppets.
And? (DOORBELL RINGING) Guess who's back? You found my summer bag.
Oh, you've gotta stop doubting me.
My first name is Fendi and my last name is Birkin, baby.
(LAUGHING) SALESMAN: Yes, Miss Paul, that's how you do it.
Oh, you're gonna have all these heifers wanting to ketchup, no mustard.
I need to see it with my work outfit, though.
I don't know why, but go do your thing.
Yes, life has been given.
I told you, you can rock this bag with everything.
How much is it? (SIGHING) If you have to ask.
That looks like a birthday bag to me.
ASSISTANT: Oh, I'd say so.
SALESMAN: Now you know you'll make that $30,000 back.
Thank you.
Swipe.
It's good.
- It's the best.
- It's an investment.
- Absolutely.
- Right.
NIECY: Girl, this Bump 'n Go will smooth, straighten, and tame your hair and give it the body that it needs.
- The key to it is the Ultra Ceramic Tourmaline technology.
- Hmm-mmm.
It guarantees a smooth, straight emulsion that won't that won't pull out this beautiful head of hair.
I'm not gonna front.
This do how my hair lay.
But $130, though? I'd have to sell one of my kids to afford this.
- Sorry, girl.
- I understand, girl.
No worries.
But real talk.
You need to be doing hair, not selling these.
KIKI: I told you nobody was gonna buy those expensive-ass - flat irons, Niecy.
- Where did you come from and why? (LAUGHING) I'm just saying.
I sold three today, so So, you're buying lunch, right? No, I'm brown-baggin' it today.
Again? Girl, you never eat with us.
Well, I'm trying to save up money.
Treyvion is always in my pockets with his big-ass feet.
He grew out of those shoes that I got him two weeks ago.
I go through the same thing with Jaycion.
He's wearin' a 4T and he's barely walkin'.
Yeah, and you know, I've gotta give my grandparents some money for watching him.
Girl, why? They're grandparents.
They like watching kids.
Girl, you need to start looking out for yourself.
You've worn those leggings so many times, they can probably stand up on their own.
(WOMEN LAUGHING) (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) I'm just saying.
Listen, I don't have money to buy clothes for myself and my kids.
I just don't.
KIKI: That's what I mean, girl.
You need to work the mall.
I am working at the mall.
What are you talking about? - No, I mean "work the mall.
" - Oh - Today's pay day, right? - Hmm-mmm.
My girl Brenda down at Wet Seal is gonna hook us up with her employee discount.
- Why? - Because Chante hooked her up with hers last week at her job.
You get one, right? Yeah, I get 20%.
You need to come with us.
Brenda will hook you up and whenever she needs a flat iron, you can just return the favor.
- That's how we do.
- That's how we do Why you touching me? - You don't know me.
- Okay, okay.
This only 30? (ALL LAUGHING) SALESMAN: You'll make that $30,000 back.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Hello? Oh, perfect.
I'm coming right out.
(MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES) Oh, just a sec.
Happy Birthday to me.
Set it up.
- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.
All I do is win, win, win no matter what Got money on my mind I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building - Everybody hands go up - MARY JANE: Everybody hands go up - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - And they stay there - Up down, up down, up down - Up down, up down, up down - 'Cause all I do - 'Cause all I do - Is win, win, win - Is win, win, win - And if you goin' in - And if you goin' in - Put your hands in the air - Put your hands in the air - Make 'em stay there - Make 'em stay there (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) (MUSIC STOPS) MARY JANE: I can't believe you.
This picture doesn't work here? That you're selling your house.
Save the theatrics, MJ.
You knew I was going to go to Nigeria.
It's not like you read it on my Facebook or something.
- It still feels the same.
- Okay.
And why are you moving things around? I like your house the way it is.
I have a man that's interested in my house already and I want him to see the house in its best light.
What's wrong with your feet? New shoes.
I see why they call them Red Bottoms.
Look at the bottom of my feet.
(SIGHING) Three words.
Keep the mystery.
A blow dryer, ten minutes at a time.
It'll loosen up the leather in your shoes.
No biggie.
See, now, that right there, the fact that you even know that is all the more reason you have to stay.
Who else is gonna give me random fashion facts? Oh, come on, girl, you're gonna be fine.
That's what the internet is for.
You know that's not why Nigerians use the internet.
(MARK LAUGHING) All them damn email scams.
Uncle Owajewan just hit me the other day talking about "I got ten million dollars, "but I'm gonna need your bank account information.
" Easy.
Nigeria has done nothing to you.
Nigeria has taken my friend and I don't like it.
It's just not the news I needed to hear today, - especially today, of all days.
- (MARK SIGHING) What's going on today? Are you kidding me? MARK: (SIGHING) No, Mary Jane.
There's just so much going on in my mind that's gotta - Can you just tell me? - (CELL PHONE RINGING) I hope you get bubble guts in Nigeria.
How about that? You know, that's not funny.
Hey, Patrick, I knew you wouldn't forget.
- PATRICK: (OVER PHONE) Mom had another flare up.
- What? PATRICK: Yeah, she fell and bumped her head.
The doctors kept her overnight.
She was in the hospital? Oh, she's fine, Mary Jane.
We just brought her home.
I'm on my way.
MARK: Everything okay? - Patrick! - Shh! I just got Mom to sleep.
(SOFTLY) Why was Mom going up and down the stairs anyway? This was bound to happen.
Well, she's hard-headed.
You know that.
They need to move to a one-level.
Yeah, right.
Let me know how that goes.
Something's gotta change.
Why didn't you call me? I'm always gonna be at work, but that's no reason not to tell me my mother's in the freakin' hospital.
Well, you've been through a lot.
Thought we could handle this one.
- Okay.
- She just needs to rest, slow down a bit, and she'll be back to her old stubborn ways.
Oh, joy.
What are you making? It's a roasted carrot turmeric soup.
I read that turmeric is a good anti-inflammatory herb.
It'll help Mom with her joint pain.
But you're making her a cake.
That's the last thing she needs.
Uh, D'Asia asked me to bake my famous chocolate triple-fudge cake.
I love that cake.
Well, I'll save you a slice.
Oh, you're gonna save me a slice.
How about I save you a slice? - Oh, nah, nah, Letta, that's for me and my niece.
- Oh! What are you doing here? - Oh, Mom fell.
Didn't you hear? - Yeah, I know Mom fell.
But you fly across the country 'cause Mom fell? She's my mother, Letta.
I know, she's mine, too, but she's fallen hundreds of times.
Why would you kill your frequent flyer miles 'cause Mom slipped? Look, y'all don't love her like I do.
(LAUGHING) Whatever.
How's L.
A.
? It's cool.
Profitable.
(EXHALES LOUDLY) I bet.
Are you staying out of trouble? Letta, just 'cause Mom fell, doesn't mean we need to stand in for her.
I know, right, chill.
I got this.
Oh, you got this.
Hmm-mmm.
Hmm-mmm.
So, you're baking that cake for D'Asia.
I thought D'Asia didn't like chocolate.
Well, I guess she does now.
(LAUGHING) And you take a red-eye across the country because Mom slipped.
What other reason do I have? Oh, you guys are funny.
What? Oh, y'all are funny.
Funny what? Y'all are funny.
Oh, play dumb, play dumb, 'cause you're good at it.
I gotta go, but this is good.
This is good.
This is good.
What's she laughing at? I don't know.
Hey, hey, are you open after work? We need you for the night shift to help Mama to the bathroom and stuff.
Oh, yeah, to come back and help.
Sure! 'Cause I'm helpful.
I'll be back tonight to "help.
" What's wrong with you? Oh, hey, tell Mom "Get well soon, kiddo!" (BOTH CHUCKLE) - What's she talking about? - I don't know.
MARY JANE: You guys are funny.
(PATRICK LAUGHING) DELIVERYMAN: Watch your back there.
Excuse me.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING) Hey, buddy How's it going? Hey.
I'm just trying to finish up these orders before I head over to the Blue Grill.
I'm trying to get them to try a few cases of our bacon soda.
Well, if anyone can sell that crap, you can.
Hey, I'm about to take a donut break, if you're interested.
- Oh, is it donut time already? - Yeah.
I'll see you in the break room.
(SOFTLY WHISTLES) Donut time.
- All right.
- (CLEARING THROAT) Oh, Jesus, Jessie, you're gonna pop a blood vessel.
I need a perk quick today.
I've gotta stay awake so I can finish all this paperwork.
Oh, that works too fast for me.
I snort it and your boy will be shakin' like Kylie Jenner at an R.
Kelly concert.
Actually, better luck there than being at the adoption agency when Woody Allen rolls through.
- (MEN LAUGHING) - JESSIE: Katie, you hang with us during donut time, but you don't want any donuts.
You're not a narc are ya? It really works that well, huh? Tell her.
Patrick? Well, before a-bombs, Patrick couldn't even focus.
He was all over the place.
Couldn't work our system, lost track of orders, the true definition of a screw-up.
Look at the man now.
One of our top sellers in the company.
He's still ugly, though.
Look at him.
Well, as long as your mama thinks I'm hot, I ain't trippin'.
- Oh.
- (LAUGHING) Does it really work? PATRICK: It does for me, but, hey You'd have to make that call.
MEN: (CHANTING) Katie, Katie, Katie Okay.
Give me the other half of the pill.
If Patrick Square-Ass can do it, so can I.
Ooh.
Yeah, Katie.
All right.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: We wanted to come here.
I wanted to be here because Africa is on the move.
- Africa is one of the fastest growing regions - (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) FEMALE REPORTER: There's a battle raging as we arrive and fresh troops are being sent in to fight.
Cameroon and Chadian soldiers are trying to hold this bridge.
It stands between them and Boko Haram on the other side of Nigeria.
Those who survived this latest massacre are tortured by what happened.
MALE TRANSLATOR: Look at this.
Those are all bullet holes.
There were 37 people.
No one moved.
What about the kidnapped girls? - Oh, yes.
- Are you worried about them? I worry about them, too.
Yeah, my sister there.
My brother is too.
FEMALE REPORTER: Many of the people in this congregation have relatives and friends in the area where the schoolgirls were taken.
And intelligence sources say they're using satellite imagery and tracking to try to pinpoint where the girls are.
Whatever is their motive, the innocent girls, the little children, should not be made victim.
FEMALE REPORTER: Our sources say a deal was struck to free some of the Boko Haram families in return for some of the girls.
But the deal collapsed when the Nigerian President went to the Summit in Paris and his Western backers, including the British, were vehemently against it.
KARA: So, that's the package.
You like it? MARK: I love it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Hey.
Hmm? I get it.
(SIGHING) Yeah.
When you make decisions for yourself, it affects others.
- Yes, it does.
- Yeah.
But, if it helps, you'll remember, I didn't wanna work with you.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Well, now that I'm leaving, maybe you can have my office.
No, I actually prefer my paycheck, thank you very much.
- (MARK LAUGHING) - You know, I can't I can't spend the office and I certainly can't feed my kids the office.
I can't clothe my kids with the office.
- So, I'm good.
- (LAUGHS) Well, my sweet, mean and twisted Kara KARA: Mmm? I will miss you most of all.
Take care of yourself out there, okay? I'll be really pissed if something happens to you.
I will.
Okay.
I look forward to giving you a good show.
I appreciate it, Kara.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (MESSAGE ALERT BEEPING) Happy Birthday! (ALL CHEERING, HOOTING) (KARA LAUGHING) You care.
You actually care.
KARA: Of course we do, mama.
We love you! Come here! Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
- KARA: You're welcome.
- (INHALES DEEPLY) (ALL CHEERING, APPLAUDING) Thank you.
Now cut this leaning tower of a cake.
Yeah, well, it was in the passenger seat and I was texting and driving.
So, anyway, how old are you now, anyway? You know not to ask a lady such questions.
Of course.
No, no, no, of course.
I was just trying to figure out - if this was the first or second time - It's the first time I am you turned 39.
Right.
Right.
Your cake is better.
She just started baking, so we're gonna eat it and like it.
I'm gonna be right back.
I've gotta get these boys started on their homework.
- I'll get you some cake when we get back, okay? - Bye, fellas.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
Did you get my email? No.
WOMAN: Happy birthday, MJ.
Didn't you tell me your brother was out in L.
A.
working for Barbara Ling-Cho, the developer? Yeah.
Why? Why? What's up? Apparently, there are some investment groups, ten in all, that have signed a petition accusing Barbara Ling-Cho of bid rigging.
Why? Probably because it was announced that Inglewood won the bid in L.
A.
to build the new stadium.
- (SIGHING) - Yeah.
Two years ago, Cho acquired a bunch of property in public auctions at the lowest price point possible.
No one thought nothing of it.
It's Inglewood.
But then it's announced that a certain stadium is being built dead smack in the middle of Cho's properties.
Now either she's lucky or an evil genius.
Well, my brother just started working for her, so he He wouldn't be involved.
I hope not.
I know Jake on Arthur's team was talking about doing an investigative report on it.
Oh, now he wants to do something that requires effort.
Nice.
It's a good story.
We should do it.
If your brother wasn't working for her.
I I sent the email.
Take a look and Happy Birthday.
Thanks.
Hey, guys.
I brought you some snacks.
Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome.
- Yeah, thanks.
Here you go, baby.
Sure.
If you guys need anything, Theresa is standing right outside.
- So you just ask her.
- Okay.
Okay? Can we play on our iPads when we're done with our homework? - Yeah.
Sure.
- Thanks.
- Wow, thanks.
- You're welcome.
Have a good show, Mom.
Thank you, baby.
NIECY: That's a pretty color.
Okay, so you mean to tell me I can get all this stuff on a discount.
Yes, Niecy, we're good.
Okay.
Girl, this dress is fire.
Oh, you're gonna wear that while you're serving pizza at Saborro's? - No, hater, I'ma wear it to the Drake concert.
- You got tickets? Yeah, girl.
You know Junior and his home boys are scalpin'.
- You should come.
- I mean, I can, if I could get somebody to watch Jaycion.
Your mama can't watch him? Nah, she's been trippin' ever since she got her new boyfriend, so Niecy, you wanna come? Junior got a homeboy.
He ain't takin' nobody.
Hm, how's he lookin'? I mean, he's all right.
He's got a little chipped tooth, but he's real funny and he got a job at the bank.
Oh, is he a teller? Nah, girl, he's a security guard.
Well, you know I've gotta find somebody to watch the kids.
My grandmother is sick, so my grandfather can't be watching them.
He's gotta look after her.
Girl, have your babies' father take care of them.
NIECY: Girl, they're barely around.
Jaycion's father's the same way.
He ain't never around.
Baby daddies have it so easy.
- They come and go as they please.
- Right.
Now, see, that's why I ain't havin' sex.
- Renee, shut up.
- Renee! Why, why would you say that? Why? I'm just sayin'.
I like my freedom.
We do, too.
Oh, come on, Niecy, let's go pay for these.
Renee is so stuck up.
I can't stand her.
Then why do you hang out with her? Because she has a car.
(NIECY SCOFFS) Hook us up? CLERK: Who is she? Oh, Niecy's cool.
She works at that kiosk over by the food court.
- Where they sell the hair supplies? - Hmm-mmm.
CLERK: Oh, that's so fine.
They got some fly stuff over there.
So, next, Niecy's gonna hook me up with one of those flat irons on your employee discount, right? Oh, yeah, we can do that.
That's what I'm sayin'.
This shirt's on sale.
You get another 15%.
Okay, cool.
We can do that.
How much do I owe you? (ALL LAUGHING) There were three fatalities.
The investigation is still ongoing and the FBI is also going to look into the case.
Now, on a lighter note, some of our viewers may remember our story about one of America's truest treasures Whiskey the Cat, the ferocious feline who became a hero when he fought off a pit bull protecting his six-year-old owner.
He sustained a deep laceration on his side and I am proud to report that he's back home resting comfortably.
Thank God, for Whiskey.
Whiskey the Cat! Seriously, Whiskey the Cat? - (KARA LAUGHING) - I shouldn't even let you sit in my car making me read that crap.
KARA: No, no, no.
Hey.
You read it with dignity, okay? Whiskey the Cat is America's truest treasure.
Pet stories are skewing well.
What the hell can I tell you? (ALL LAUGHING) Don't snort in my car.
(SNORTING LAUGH) I'm sorry.
We should bring Whiskey in this car.
(SNORTING LAUGH) Oh, my goodness How much is this thing anyway? You know, it's not about the price.
It's not about the price.
It's It's, um It pays for itself.
- KARA: Oh.
- And it's good for the environment.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
KARA: Right, the environment.
Right, right, right.
Don't you have to set up a A whole charging station and whatnot for this car? How much is that? MARY JANE: It's not that much.
You should buy one.
- A Tesla? - Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'll wait, thank you very much.
Why? Because I have them.
That's why.
(BOYS LAUGHING) What are you guys watching? Video of this man.
He puts butter on stairs and watches people fall down.
- (MARY JANE LAUGHING) - That's not funny.
- MARY JANE: No, actually, it is.
- No, it's not.
Did you guys see the one where they put the baby oil on the bathroom floor for when people come - out of the shower? - Oh, God.
No, where'd you find that? Stop encouraging them.
- It's so good.
- Seriously, zip it.
Guys, hey, go wait in the car for a minute, please? Fine.
I'll be there real soon.
- Later, fellas.
Thanks.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, my goodness Oh John had to work, so I picked them up from school.
And they heard I was coming to see "The Tesla," so they wanted to tag along.
It's all good.
Please.
How are you doing? Oh, girl, if I don't have sex soon, I'm gonna freakin' break the shower head off.
I'm not even joking.
Okay, uh, I was talking about you and John shacking up and the kids and the whole thing.
But, yeah, that That works.
You know, we're trying to work it out.
Today was a good day.
How are you feeling with Mark leaving? I wanna kick him in his face, quite frankly, now that you ask.
I mean, I had that damn show running on autopilot, easy money, and now I've actually gotta work for it.
They wanna rotate in some anchors and see who sticks, just like they did on Talk Back, because I'm not overwhelmed, as it is.
It sounds stressful.
- Yo, if you ever need a place to crash - Mmm-hmm? You're more than welcome to stay here.
Thank you.
That's sweet.
I might take you up on that one.
All right, time to go.
(LAUGHING) Where are you going? To, uh, the surprise party my family's throwing for me.
- Really? - Yeah.
Are you sure? Because nobody called me to invite me.
That's kinda weird.
Well, maybe it's just a family thing.
I mean, even PJ flew in.
Girl, PJ ain't flyin' in for you.
You know he's a mama's boy.
Patrick baked a cake, okay, triple chocolate cake, my favorite.
It's a party.
They did not forget me.
- All right.
- I'm unforgettable.
Oh Without a doubt.
Let me let you get to your "party.
" - Let me get with Where's the damn door handle - It's right there.
on this Tesla? Right there, grandma.
What happened to door handles? Oh, my God I'll just be going into my little Volvo now.
- Bye.
- Go on with your party and chocolate cake.
- (MARY JANE LAUGHING) - KARA: All right, guys, we're outta here.
Chocolate cake.
Seriously? Letta, what are you doing here? Uh, I came back to help with the rotation, remember? Oh.
Actually, Mom's good.
She's been chillin' most of the day, slept most of the day.
Uh, I guess those meds she's on put her out.
So, you don't need me.
I guess not.
(CHUCKLES) Well, where's everybody else? Uh, where is everybody? Patrick's home.
Dad went to pick Niecy up from work.
Wait! You guys really forgot my birthday? Damn, it is the 21st.
Oh, my God.
Wait, oh, wait! Letta, Letta, Letta I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
Look, I've been dealing with Mom and work stuff.
Work stuff? Yeah.
You mean like bid rigging? - Huh? - Huh? Seven years of college and all you got is "Huh?" How about "So?" Your arrogant little ass is actually admitting to being involved.
- Look - Have you lost your mind? I'm tired of white businessmen telling us to play one game while they're playing another that's helping them build wealth.
- Yeah, okay, the Bushs and the Kennedys - Yeah.
and all the Rockefellers, yes, they did some shady stuff to build their empires.
Key difference They're white! Well, good you know that I'm just following the American way.
And it's also the American way to bury black men under the jail.
- (SCOFFS) - You're facing a Federal investigation.
- Uh-uh.
- No, there is way too much money on the table and if you think that they're gonna let an Asian woman and a black dude get it, - you're delusional.
- Letta, I set up a different company.
- All right, look, it's hard to trace me back to Barbara.
- Okay.
My setup, oh, God, Letta, my setup is so tight.
I have a chance to make $25 million.
She's already under investigation.
You're You're aware of that? Get out while you can.
Baby, you're the fall guy.
You show up just in time to do her time.
Come on.
Don't you think I've thought about that? No, I don't think you've thought about that! No, you didn't think about that! Letta! Look, look, look, I'm not stupid, okay? $25 mil That's about all of us, all of us building wealth.
Look around you.
Our parents are in their golden age and should not be in the position they are financially, all right? They're supposed to be relaxing, not taking care of Patrick's daughter or their grandchildren.
Blah, blah, blah.
What do you think happens to Mom when she finds out you're in jail? Huh? It'll kill her.
Is the money worth it to you? Is it that important to you? We have a nephew named Treyvion who has a mother with a penchant for hoodies.
Now get this, with all my pedigree, they barely want me, okay, they barely want me.
Do the math, Letta.
He's well on his way to minimum wage if we're lucky.
Selling him a little short for three, aren't you? Am I? We live in the South where they shoot at kids named Treyvion for sport.
Look, if I can No, no, when When I make this work, I not only set myself up, but I set up the generations and put the Pattersons back on the road to greatness.
You're not the only one thinking about that.
Selling weed and bid rigging, PJ, is not gonna make you a hero.
It makes you a criminal.
And you're way too smart for that.
I get it.
Honestly, I absolutely get it.
But what you're trying to do, it also comes with the burden of worry and shame and guilt and constantly having to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life.
$25 million is a lot of money.
But it cannot buy you peace of mind.
I'm gonna go check on Mom.
HELEN: Are you all right? Hmm? Well, you got my arm all up in the air like I'm a scarecrow.
Sorry, Mom.
I don't know why you all doing all this fussing over me.
Oh, you fell.
You treat me like I'm dying.
Hmm.
Did you get under the arm? MARY JANE: Oh.
Can you stand, Mom? Yes, I can stand.
Just get the towel and dry me 'cause I'm cold.
Oh We're gonna have to turn the heat up.
Thank you.
Okay, okay, okay, I've got this.
Okay.
(GROANING) Thank you.
(GROANING) What's wrong? My leg.
Which one, Mom? Oh, this old right one.
Okay, where? - In my calf.
- Okay.
Yeah.
(SIGHING) Oh, that's better.
Yeah? You know, I always hated dancing.
Well, I mean, I liked dancing, but I thought I looked silly.
I didn't want people to laugh at me, so, I never danced in public.
Not even at our wedding.
- No? - Uh-uh.
Just couldn't do it.
(SIGHING) And now these old legs won't let me change my mind.
Well, for an older gal, you've got great legs.
Whenever you get a chance to dance (WHISPERING) Dance.
Okay.
(KISSES) Happy Birthday, Pauletta.
Thanks, Mom.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SIGHING) - You're out? - I'm outta here, baby.
All right.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) NIECY: Oh, thank you.
(LAUGHING) - Where are you guys coming from? - NIECY: Hey.
PAUL SR.
: Niecy's job.
MARY JANE: Oh.
Getting in a little overtime, huh? No, you know, I got off early, so I did a little shopping.
You just got your first check - and you're already shopping? - That's right.
So now you're not the only fly Patterson in the family.
(LAUGHING) Did I say that right, Niecy? Yeah, Grandpa, you said it right.
What have you got? Okay, a Coach bag.
- Hmm-mmm.
- Cute.
What's this? A bedazzled Michael Kors shirt.
Hmm-mmm.
Fly, right? Uh, no, dumb.
How much did all this cost? It only cost $200 including this.
Happy Birthday.
Baby, I don't want you spending your money on me.
How much was your check? It was $420 and I got commission and I did a little overtime this week.
So, you spent half your check on stuff you didn't need.
NIECY: (SIGHING) Is that song always gonna be the same or is it gonna change? Yeah, when you realize the whole point of you getting a job was so that you could finally take care of your responsibilities.
PAUL SR.
: Come on, now, come on.
This is her first check.
(NIECY SIGHING) (MARY JANE LAUGHS) I don't always like saying the hard stuff, Dad.
Then don't sometimes.
Look, I felt the same way.
But she needs to feel the independence of the money.
Look, you were the same as a little girl.
Well, as a little girl, I didn't have kids.
You know, I think it's time you stopped punishing her for that.
They're here.
And maybe she didn't do it the right way, but she's progressing.
You You think that's progress? Can I be honest? (LAUGHS) I don't think that's ever been your issue.
I had an abortion.
Pauletta You did what? I did the The reasonable, responsible thing because I couldn't look at my Dad and have him see a burden, a pathetic burden.
But Now I see that if I had just had the courage to come talk to you and Mom, I could have done what Niecy and Patrick do, just let other people carry my load.
I I could have had a A A baby.
Who cares if If David wanted to marry me? Who cares if I could handle it.
I've got my family, right? But, instead, I'm here, pissed that my whole entire family forgot my birthday and I could have been home blowing out 39 candles with my six-year-old.
Baby Wow.
Come here.
Come here.
PAUL SR.
: I'm so sorry.
(DOOR OPENING) Thanks for the times You didn't think I'd forget your birthday, did you? I did.
(LAUGHING) All right.
MARK: Make a wish.
(BLOWING) Nice.
(BOTH APPLAUDING) I can't believe you sold your house that fast.
Come on, girl, you know us gay boys.
We're good at curating houses everyone wants.
Well, you're more than welcome to stay here, if you like.
You know, sweetheart, I think I'm gonna go see my parents before I ship off, you know.
Oh, I did find a crew in London, top notch, vetted.
I'm gonna go see them in London before I head off to Nigeria.
Geez, you quit your job and you head out to parts unknown to chase a story.
MARK: Yeah, I know.
You're not scared? I'm scared as hell.
(LAUGHS) I don't know what's gonna happen, Mary Jane.
I really don't have a clue.
But it really scares me not to do what I wanna do, you know? It also feels so great to live in the moment.
You know you hurt my feelings, right? - What are you talking about? - When you said I wasn't a real journalist.
I did not say that.
You did.
Okay, well, I'm sorry.
That's why I'm gonna miss you.
You never did tell me what I wanted to hear.
- (MARK LAUGHS) - Jerk.
MARK: (LAUGHS) Okay, so hear this (SIGHING) I love you, Mary Jane.
And I don't know everything.
- I know.
- (MARK LAUGHS) MARK: (ON AIR) As some of you know, today is my last broadcast.
It saddens me that I won't be coming into your living rooms on a daily basis.
But I will be back with more impactful stories that pushes our thinking forward.
So, it's not "goodbye," but "I'll be seeing you.
" Five years.
Wow.
An amazing five years.
I guess it has come down to this It is time for me to push on to the next part of my journey.
It gets me every time, though.
(SIGHING DEEPLY) Old Mary Jane, huh? (LAUGHS) Man I'm doing what I wanna do, but I'm gonna miss you.
MARY JANE: I'll miss you, too.
(SIGHS) Wow.
I guess I'm gonna be free for some time.
(SIGHING DEEPLY) You know what? While I'm gone, Kara KARA: Hmm-mmm.
Make sure she gets my office.
KARA: No, thanks.
- (ALL LAUGHING) - Lance.
Yeah.
You get the furniture.
(ALL LAUGHING) Hey, why not? Thank you for an amazing five years.
I appreciate every last one of you.
To good times! ALL: To good times! - Cheers! - ALL: (APPLAUDING) Cheers! MARK: I love you, Mary Jane.
And I don't know everything.
- MARY JANE: I know.
- (MARK LAUGHING) (SONG PLAYING) Oh! Oh! Uh-uh.
That song always reminds me of when you got drunk and thought you could out dance your girl.
You really need to stop because you know you could not see me that night.
It sounds like a challenge to me.
You know what you wanna do, mama.
You feelin' froggy.
Let's leap.
What? What? (MARK LAUGHING) Okay.
- You stretch out.
- Okay.
You stretch out.
Go, girl.
- (GRUNTING) - Listen, you know when a man's right.
He engine on.
You're power walkin'.
What the hell.
Let's go.
You got to stress that running man.
You gotta really turn up.
Oh! And (GRUNTING) MARK: Uh-oh! (INDISTINCT CHATTER)