Better Call Saul (2015) s03e07 Episode Script
Expenses
1 Previously on AMC's "Better Call Saul" I want a new front.
My father is a simple man.
You will teach him.
[Coughs.]
Tonight, I celebrate with the world's best attorney.
Have you given any thought to what you're gonna do for the next year? I'm out 4,000 bucks.
So you're gonna keep paying for half a law office even though you're not practicing law? I'll hold up my end, you hold up yours.
I'm selling advertising why not advertise? What commercial did you run? I made a new one.
[Footsteps approach.]
[Birds chirping.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Slurps.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Man clears throat.]
[Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Sniffles.]
Name? Um.
[Clears throat.]
James McGill.
[Sniffles.]
Bring your card? Yeah.
[Sighs.]
[Clears throat.]
Sign there.
[Horn honks in distance.]
Can I read it first? It's just a waiver.
We're not responsible if you hurt yourself.
[Train whistle blows in distance.]
[Sighs.]
[Engine rumbling.]
[Gearshift clicks, door creaks.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Vehicles passing.]
[Scoffs.]
[Cellphone vibrating.]
Good morning.
Saul Goodman Productions.
T-that's right.
We, uh we do it all we write it, shoot it, get ya on the air for one low, low price.
May I ask what business you have? Computer repair? That is a perfect business to advertise on television because, you know, computers are our future.
[Chuckles.]
Uh yes, well, our rates are - [Trucks engines rumbling.]
- Ah! Sorry.
That was, uh, one of our trucks.
We're, uh, location shooting today.
It's a big production, actually.
Our usual rate is one commercial, one airing $850, but you're in luck today, we have a one-time special.
Our Elite package.
Seven commercials, seven airings for forty forty-six hundred dollars.
Yeah.
Forty-six hundred dollars.
And we can a Hello? Hello? [Cellphone beeps.]
[Engines rumbling.]
No, I didn't, because you keep putting me on hold.
[Vehicle passing.]
Okay, my situ Hello? My sit yes, my situation is this.
I two months ago, I paid for a full year, uh, but, due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not gonna be a lawyer for the next 12 months.
- [Vehicle passing.]
- [Sighs.]
Uh-huh.
Yes, suspended.
So I'm not practicing, so I don't need malpractice insurance, and I'd like to speak to someone about a refund.
But y well, then, may I please speak to someone who can make a decision? No, no, no.
Don't put me on hold again, please.
He Hello? He [Vehicle passing.]
[Horn honks.]
[Whistle blowing.]
[Vehicle passing.]
Wait a minute.
This says 30 minutes.
Yep.
We were out here for four hours.
You were on your phone.
You knew the rules when you signed up.
But I collected more garbage than anybody out here.
I have to be able to conduct business to earn a living.
No.
[Scoffs.]
What do you mean "no"? Think of community service as your jail time.
No phones allowed in jail.
W-w-well, hold on there, buddy.
I mean, who do you think you are, huh? Y-y-you think you can treat us like this? Yeah? We're out here for the good of the great city of Albuquerque not for you.
You're not our lord and master.
You don't get to sit back and decide who's worthy and who isn't.
Am I right? Dude, are you gonna get in the van or what? C'mon.
30 minutes? That stuff's not right.
You can do better than that.
[Sighs.]
We could make it zero.
[Sighing.]
[Paper rustles.]
[Sighs.]
[Horn blares.]
[Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Door opens.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Trunk creaks.]
[Engine starts.]
[Keys jingling.]
[Engine sputtering.]
Come on.
Come on! - [Sputtering continues.]
- Come on, baby! Ohh! [Sighs.]
[Engine starts.]
- Yes! - [Gearshift clicks.]
[Engine revs, exhaust pops.]
So come on down to Duke City Recliners and put your feet up! Mention this ad and get 10% off your first purchase.
And cut.
Great! How was that? - Good for camera.
- Sound was good.
Yep.
- Thank you.
That was great.
- Hold up.
Hold up.
I wanna do one more.
Was that okay? [Clicks tongue.]
It was great, uh, but I just I want I want you to connect more with the audience.
Like you're talking to a friend.
Look into that lens and see a friend.
Can you do that? I mean, think of a specific friend.
- Do you see him? - Yes.
Okay.
Who is he? - My friend Ron.
- Great.
Look into that lens and see Ron.
And just two guys, just chattin' about chairs.
- [Sighs, sniffles.]
- D-don't think about it.
Just throw it away.
Last looks.
Roll sound.
Sound speed.
- Camera? - Cam camera set.
And havin' a conversation with your good friend Ron.
Just a couple of guys talkin'.
And you got some very exciting news about the recliners that you've been dyin' to share with him.
And action.
So come on down to Duke City Recliners and put your feet up! Mention this ad and get 10% off your first purchase.
And cut! Great! That's the one! Check the gate! How did that feel?! Good, I guess.
What what did you think? Good! So good! Just very, very - just great! - It was very nice.
Listen, you are on a roll, my friend.
I say we strike while the iron is hot.
Remember that other offer we discussed? More commercials at the discounted rate? Got my whole crew here.
We could bang out seven more and give you a run that'll make you a household name.
- Waddya say? - But, Mr.
Goodman, I love the idea of more commercials, but I just can't swing it.
- My wife didn't want me to do this one.
- You know what? They say you gotta spend money to make money.
And, uh [Chuckles.]
and I tell ya what you got a chance here to potentially spike your sales by hundreds hell, thousands of new customers who'd never even heard of Duke City Recliners.
- What do ya say? - Sure, s-sure.
B-but but like I said [Sighs.]
I only have enough to pay for the one.
[Sighs.]
Well, you know what? I like you, and I wanna help.
So I know we discussed a discounted rate of $545 per commercial, but if you sign up right now for our Elite package now, that's seven commercials I think we can do the whole thing for $500 per commercial.
Now, that is $3,500, all in.
That is the bargain of a lifetime.
[Sighs.]
I don't know.
Any chance you could do it on credit? [Inhales sharply.]
On credit? No.
No.
I can't.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh, maybe another time.
Uh, let me get your money for this one.
Uh, can we make this easier and just split it four ways? "Split it four" I'll split you four ways.
Don't they teach you capitalism in that school of yours? I'm just sayin', we got expenses, man.
You expen you don't have expenses! I've got expenses! You see this? This is money I've already spent on airtime for that commercial.
445 bucks.
You know what that leaves me with? - $100.
- $104.
95! For writing, directing, producing, client outreach, - sales, transpo all of it! - I get it.
Yeah.
So let's get you in the editing room and finish this thing, and I don't want to hear another word about expenses.
Kim: Okay.
Electric.
- Jimmy: [Sighs.]
- I paid this month.
Anything else? I bought a couple reams of paper for the printer.
Hmm.
Paper.
One hundred sixty-two.
Okay, so Mm Looks like puts me ahead this month $3,172.
All right.
And what's it to even me up? Uh divided by 2.
[Calculator buttons clicking.]
$1,586.
Okay.
[Inhales sharply.]
One thousand five hundred [Chuckles.]
Wow.
Mr.
Moneybags, huh? So this commercial thing.
It's turning a profit? It's TV.
How could there not be a profit? You didn't drain your bank account, did you? [Chuckling.]
What? No - I didn't - [Knock on door.]
Uh, oh, that's, uh, Chinese food.
I ordered it for us.
- You're workin' late, right? - Yeah.
Right.
Thanks.
Oh, uh wait, here.
No, I got this.
- Hey, hi.
- $24.
[Clears throat.]
Here.
Keep the change.
A dollar? Yeah.
We can make it zero.
[Freez's "I.
O.
U.
" plays.]
A-E-A-E-I-O-U-U [Insects chirping.]
[Clattering.]
[Door creaks.]
[Locks clicking.]
[Alarm beeping.]
[Locks clicking.]
[Beeping continues.]
[Keypad beeping.]
[Beeping stops.]
Ahh! Geez! What the hell?! I mean, what the hell? How'd you get in here? Relax.
I just want to talk.
Talk? [Chuckles.]
You mean, like, apologize? 'Cause that's really the only talk I want to hear.
I want to do some business.
Like before.
[Chuckles.]
Business? Is that, like, code for stealing my baseball cards? I'm not here for your baseball cards.
I'm here for this.
Can you get more of these? You want me to steal this? Get a prescription and go to a pharmacist.
- It'll be cheap.
- I need those capsules empty before they're sealed.
With those exact markings.
Well the place I work doesn't make these.
But But what? I could probably get some samples diverted on an R&D request.
So do it.
Why? I mean, what's the point? I need them.
[Scoffs lightly.]
O-kay.
And if I don't get them? Then what? Are you gonna threaten me? Break my legs? You get me those pills, and I'm gonna pay you $20,000.
Get them.
[Insects chirping.]
[Door creaks.]
[Sighs.]
[Creaking.]
[Thud.]
[Thud.]
[Children shouting in distance.]
Woman: Let her have the ball.
[Chatter.]
Man: Hold on, okay? Stacey: Hey, Pop.
You doing okay? Uh, yeah.
It's coming along.
Have a couple of volunteers here who want to help.
Well, thanks, but I think I'm good.
Please, we can't let you do it all by yourself.
Certainly not after you bought all the supplies.
At least let the church reimburse you.
- It's a donation.
- Woman: C'mon.
You've got unskilled but eager laborers.
Let us do something.
Just point and tell us what to do.
Oh.
All right, uh how about you dump one of those packs into the wheelbarrow? And you you fill that bucket up to the brim with water.
And then you dump it in, little by little, while he stirs it with a hoe.
- You got it.
- Okay.
I'm ready.
What can I do? - I think we're covered.
- [Chuckles.]
You're kidding, right? It's not that big a job.
[Water splashing.]
- Am I doing this right? - Uh why don't you try using this instead? Excuse me? It's for the walkway.
Look.
It puts down a texture so the kids don't slip when it gets wet.
[Chatter in distance.]
Like this? You got it.
Nice and gentle.
- You're Kaylee's Pop-Pop, right? - [Laughter.]
I am.
I am the very proud grandfather.
- I'm Anita.
- Mike.
- Nice to meet you, Mike.
- And you.
And thanks for helping.
Well, thank you for not trying to do this all by yourself.
[Chatter continues.]
[Car door creaks.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicle passing in distance.]
Hey.
Carl? Yeah.
Hold the fort for a few minutes, wouldja? You got it, Mike.
[Sighs.]
[Video game plays "Trojan Warrior Theme".]
Oh, hey.
You're here.
This your idea of stealth? I never claimed to be good at this.
Any of it.
- [Siren wails in distance.]
- On that, we can agree.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.
I wanna hire you again.
Do what now? Hire you.
As my back-up man.
Same terms as before.
I don't wanna make the same mistake as last time.
You don't wanna make the same mistake, then don't get involved with whatever it is you're getting involved with.
But I'm involved already.
I'm not.
Well it's Nacho Varga.
[Sighs.]
What about him? He broke into my house.
He was inside, waiting for me.
Somehow, he got past my security system.
I have no idea how! All he had to do was unplug your phone lines.
Oh.
That's it? Huh.
What'd he want? Pills.
Well not exactly.
Empty Lydristel capsules.
- Lydristel? - Yeah.
They're like nitroglycerin.
And he offered me money lots of money.
Way more than they're even worth.
But I'm afraid if I don't do it, or even if I do do it I don't know Tell him you can't get what he needs.
I already ordered them.
I mean, the shipment gets here in two days.
He knows.
Then make up an excuse.
[Sighs.]
Fine.
$3,000.
- I'll give you $3,000.
- I'm not interested.
And you find a way out of it.
[Scoffs.]
But Not interested! [Gearshift clicks.]
[Seatbelt clicks.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Engine starts in distance.]
[Cellphone beeping.]
[Sighs.]
- [Alarm beeping.]
- [Gasps.]
- Paige: Look full disclosure.
- [Beeping stops.]
When you told us about the disciplinary hearing, - I admit it I had concerns.
- [Elevator bell dings.]
So, just so you know, I had to do my due diligence.
I read the transcripts.
All of them.
It was amazing.
What you did to Charles you and James set him up perfectly.
[Chuckling.]
You destroyed him.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't believe some of it.
"I'm not crazy.
It's 1216, - "one after Magna Carta.
" - [Elevator bell dings.]
- [Laughing.]
The Magna Carta? - [Chuckles.]
It was perfect.
[Chuckling.]
"You think this chicanery is bad?" Who talks like that? [Chuckles.]
On page 5 is a breakdown of loan-to-deposit ratios by county, and you can see, if Mesa Verde is going to comply with Section 109, you will have to raise your loan numbers.
Mm.
That can't be right.
We were fine in Arizona.
Yes, but the FDIC requirements in Utah are different.
96%? Is it really that high? I thought Arizona was only 79%.
Again, it was, but Utah has a higher loan-to-deposit ratio.
[Sighs.]
I think we're gonna need to check that.
That number seems way off.
The numbers are right.
But you can review the guidelines if you want.
Right here.
[Papers thud.]
You gonna check 'em or can we move on? Uh no of course, if it's 96%, it's 96%.
We'll increase our loan numbers.
Absolutely.
[Sighs.]
Can we review these fixed mortgage rates? 'Cause that's [Sighs.]
definitely an area we're gonna need to focus - Paige, I'm s that was - our attention unprofessional.
I didn't mean to speak to you that way.
Kim.
Don't worry.
It's not a problem.
At all.
No, I'm sorry.
There's no excuse for talking to you like that.
[Sighs.]
I know how hard you've been working on this.
Please, I've forgotten about it already.
You should, too.
Okay? As far as I'm concerned, all we did all we did was tear down a sick man.
Fixed mortgage rates.
I think it's page 3.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
There's an acquisition comparison at the top, and you want to go by total [Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Gearshift clicks.]
[Wheelchair squeaking.]
[Tires screeching.]
[Engine revs.]
[Tires screeching.]
- Get in! - Yeah.
Go! Chop-chop! C'mon, c'mon! [Grunts.]
Oh.
Get in! - Let's go.
- Trying.
[Sighs.]
[Engine sputtering.]
That doesn't sound good.
C'mon, c'mon.
- I think you're flooding it.
- I'm not flooding it! You're over-cranking it.
Oh, you don't know what you're talking about! We're still getting paid whether we get there or not.
- Maybe we should catch the bus.
- Sh come on! Just it's gonna start, okay? - [Sputtering continues.]
- Yeah, you definitely flooded it.
He drained the battery.
You drained the battery.
Can you not talk about something you know absolutely nothing about? - There's a bus we could get in.
- Shh! Shh! I just need to think for one minute! [Sighs.]
Look, we're taking the bus.
Yeah.
[Grunts.]
[Trunk creaks.]
[Panting.]
Film crew! Hold up the bus! You see that? Fender Stratocaster, signed by Ritchie Blackmore.
- You know who that is, right? - Someone no one's ever heard of? That's real good.
I hope your parents enjoy supporting you for the rest of their lives.
C'mon, Ritchie Blackmore.
Deep Purple.
Ohh.
"Another Brick in the Wall.
" Oh, I weep for the future.
[Sighs.]
Mr.
McGill, we have a problem.
Them.
Hey, fellas.
Uh, you ready? We got the first shot all lined up.
- Can I walk you through it? - Uh We hate to do this to you, but - We're having second thoughts.
- Yeah.
I get it.
That's just nerves.
Just stage fright.
Uh, tell you what we got cue cards, and with the magic of editing, we're gonna make you guys look like James Garner and Mariette Hartley.
It's not that.
It's just that it it seems like too much money For not a whole lot of return.
And that, my friends that is where you're mistaken, because this is about brand awareness.
From now on, when people think guitars, they're gonna think "ABQ In Tune.
" When they think pianos "ABQ In Tune.
" Drums, xylophones for less than the price of that Ritchie Blackmore beauty you got on that rack, you're gonna have the whole town thinking, "ABQ In Tune.
" Yeah, but but what about the time slot? I mean, "Murder, She Wrote" repeats? - Come on.
- Come on.
Hey, grandmas love buying the gift of music for little Johnny and Sally and Skip, hmm? And it's school-recital season, so where are the kids gonna get those recorders? Uh, we don't sell recorders.
Synthesizers, then.
But the point is, those Social Security checks they got to be spent somewhere.
Mnh.
Hey, uh [Clears throat.]
as it happens, uh, today only, I can, uh, offer the same package, but 50% off.
Look I'm sorry, but we can't.
Not today, guys.
Don't do that.
Guys.
Now, come on.
Look, I know you want this.
I know you do.
50% off! Yeah, we get it, but we're just not Convinced.
[Sighs.]
Free.
[Clears throat.]
I'll shoot the spot for free.
For free? You will shoot this spot for free? I'll film your ad, and I'll put it on the air.
But when you see more traffic coming through here and you will then we do the other spots for the original rate.
Okay? Now, how can you say no? [Sighs.]
- I mean, when he puts it like that - I guess we can't.
Good.
That's the best decision you're gonna make.
The the best! [Vehicles passing.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Sighs.]
Uh you gonna catch the bus, Mr.
McGill? No, I um You guys get to the editing room.
I just need t to sit.
Mr.
McGill? Oh, no.
I-I can't.
It's okay.
No, that's yours.
You earned it.
But you're losing money.
We'll see.
It it'll be fine.
Okay.
So, I finally got my act together.
I pulled a bunch of Alan's boxes out of the closet.
[Inhales sharply.]
Only took me eight years.
I gave all of Alan's clothes a last wash before driving them over to Goodwill.
I cried.
I cried when I washed them.
I cried when I folded them.
I cried when I dropped 'em off.
But once it was done it felt good to let them go.
[Man coughs softly.]
I kept his uniform, though.
[Chuckles.]
Can't let that go.
Lord, he'd never forgive me if I let that go.
[Laughs.]
But I figure it's okay to keep one thing, right? I mean people can use the other clothes, but not sure what use they'd have for an old uniform.
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
I just don't remember this much homework when I was Kaylee's age.
It doesn't seem to bother her, but still Most of it's just busywork.
A couple of us actually spoke to the school board, and they agreed Done.
All yours.
Fair warning, the coffee's not all that.
[Chuckles.]
Mm.
I guess they feel if you can face this, - you can face anything.
- Could be.
- I must be stronger than I think.
- Mm.
You mind if I ask and I really don't mean to pry, but Let me guess.
You have another construction job you need my help on.
Uh, no.
But if I do, you'll be the first person I call.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, ask away.
You said you kept your husband's uniform.
Was he on the job? On the job? Oh, you mean the police.
[Chuckling.]
No.
Alan was a Navy man.
He was well out of the service when I lost him.
I'm sorry.
The group has heard my story over and over.
Well, that's what we're here for.
Well Alan loved to hike.
We even opened a camping-supply store.
I helped him with the mail-order side of it.
And then, uh this was eight years ago he went hiking in Gila National and never came back.
They found our car, but they never found him.
And I don't know if he slipped and fell or had a heart attack or met someone who didn't like the way he looked I don't know.
And even after all these years, not knowing how he passed or where he is I wish it didn't matter.
But it does.
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Cellphone dialing.]
Pryce: Hello? It's me.
You make the deal? Uhhh, no.
Not yet.
Why? I'm in.
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Leaves rustling.]
[Door closes.]
[Groans, sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Chuckles.]
Hey, let's get outta here.
[Scoffs.]
What? Get out where? I am up to my neck in Mesa Verde.
I can't.
- C'mon, we're going.
Up.
- No, I can't.
- Na-ah! Nope.
Nothing - Jimmy [Laughs.]
nothing you can do to stop this.
[Inhales sharply.]
Uh, one thing you have to drive.
[Kruder & Dorfmeister's "Black Baby" plays.]
Oh, oh, oh.
Lookit this guy.
Ohh.
It's Alfred Hitchcock in a rented toupee.
[Laughs.]
C'mon.
Why would you rent a toupee? Y'know, from the Toupee Store.
- So you don't have to maintain it.
- [Chuckles.]
- All right.
Seven and Seven.
- Yeah.
And an Old Fashioned.
Keep 'em coming, good sir.
Uh, oh.
[Clears throat.]
Can you, uh, start charging this card - instead of that other one? - Yeah, yeah.
You got it.
- Thank you.
[Sniffles.]
- No problem.
You're not maxing out your cards, are you? Of course not.
I'm, um, spreading the points around.
- I got a system.
- Oh.
[Inhales sharply, sighs.]
- That moron takes the bet.
- [Clears throat.]
He took 3 points.
He's a fool.
Look, is it wrong Whoa.
Hey, hey, this guy over here.
[Inhales sharply.]
Yeah, he wants everyone to know what a big spender he is.
I got every dollar the guy owns.
We're here to meet a celebrity who's donating to my charity.
Kevin Costner.
I-I will go stand in that corner.
You point me out you're meeting Kevin Costner.
What? You don't look like Kevin Costner.
Uh I look exactly like Kevin Costner.
People are always coming up to me, saying they loved me in "Bull Durham.
" Never.
Never happened.
- Always.
- No, not once.
- [Snapping fingers.]
Hey! Hey, you! - Waiter: Yes, sir? - What is this? - Uh, dirty Martini? No, this is a $14 glass of puke.
Why don't you get that idiot look off your face and get me another one? - That guy.
- Who said anything about gin? - How do we get him? - Well, I want vodka.
- [Inhales sharply.]
- W-what am I just gonna hold it here? - What do you think? - You go and get me another one.
The the trick with the coin you told me about? I know your boss.
I'm an investor here.
- Or the counterfeit bill? - No.
I know your boss, and I know your boss' boss.
That guy's a real asshole.
Act together and get me a real drink.
He needs to go down.
Hard.
What kind of menial job is this? Here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna sell him a worthless credit card for 5,000 bucks.
[Chuckling.]
Here's what you do.
Make eye contact with him.
That's all it'll take for him to think you're interested.
I'll act good and drunk, and he'll think I'm a loser and try to steal you away.
He will persist.
Mm.
Tell him you can't leave me.
Not not yet.
Let him know you're trying to roll me.
[Inhales sharply.]
He'll want in.
He'll help you ply me with booze.
Then you take my wallet.
You lift the card.
Following this? We're not actually doing this, right? We're just talking? Yeah.
[Chuckling.]
Just talkin'.
[Sighs.]
What? Nothing.
It's not nothing.
What? I keep thinking was there another way? [Chuckling.]
Another way? W Chuck? Is that what you're talking about? Kim he had us in a corner, okay? - We did what we had to do.
- But Rebecca Everything that happened was his own fault.
Everything.
And put him in the rear-view mirror.
He is not worth thinkin' about.
Done.
Woman: Why, thank you.
Have a good evening.
[Sighs.]
[Indistinct conversations, glasses clinking.]
[Planet E's "Klub Kola" plays.]
How about that one? I bet we could get him to invest in some of Giselle St.
Claire's land in South Africa.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
[Sighs.]
The mining rights would be all his.
[Insects chirping.]
[Gearshift clicks.]
- [Engine shuts off.]
- [Keys jingle.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Sighs.]
Really? He called me.
For obvious reasons.
Look, I'm not here to rip him off.
He has the stuff, right? I need to know what you're planning.
What's it matter to you? I know they're for Salamanca.
Nitro pills.
Your boss has heart problems.
You already got it all figured out, why're you asking? How you gonna make the switch? [Sighs.]
Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket.
When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.
Mm.
He goes down.
Then what? His heart goes out.
That's it.
A lot of eyes on Salamanca.
You do this, how are you gonna stop them from finding out it was you? Are you tryin' to tell me not to do this? I'm not tellin' you anything.
Just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.
I'm not getting into anything.
I'm in it.
I've got no choice.
[Sighs.]
Hector wants to use my dad's business.
My dad is a straight arrow.
He won't stand for it, which means he goes to the police, which means he's a dead man.
And that's not happening.
You get caught, it could get worse.
You don't think I know who I'm dealing with? No.
I don't.
[Gas cap rattling.]
What are you doing? [Gas cap rattling.]
[Gas-cap door closes.]
There are more people than the Salamancas to worry about here.
Now, if you manage to pull this off without a bullet in your head and switch those pills, then switch 'em back.
Switch them back? Why? Anyone gets an itch about the medicine not working, they're gonna look at those pills.
You do this switch 'em back.
So you gonna let us make this deal? You got the money? Good.
[Sniffles.]
Now, before we do this I'm gonna need one more thing from you.
- [Indistinct conversations.]
- [Intercom beeps.]
Yes? Okay.
Miss Valco will see you now.
- Oh.
- Second door.
[Breathes sharply.]
Hi there.
Come on in.
Yeah.
Hi.
I've called quite a few times about an issue I'm trying to address.
Do you have your policy number? No.
[Sighs.]
Can you just look up my name? McGill? Charles McGill of Hamlin, Hamlin, McGill? No, that's my brother.
Um [Clears throat.]
I'm Jimmy.
James McGill.
Solo practitioner.
Oh.
There you are.
Looks like you're all paid up through the year.
That's sort of the issue.
Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, my license has been suspended.
Yes, I see that here.
Right.
Well I was hoping I could get a refund for the time that I won't be a lawyer.
Now, that's only fair, right? I'm sorry, Mr.
McGill.
It doesn't work like that.
We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.
[Sighs.]
But it's a it's a lot of money for nothing.
I understand it seems that way, but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you, this continues your coverage.
[Snaps fingers.]
That's the thing.
My clients? They love me.
And they would never bring a suit against me.
I'm [Chuckling.]
extremely lovable.
I can see that.
But it's company policy.
[Snaps fingers.]
What about we put the insurance on hold? And then, if someone were to try to sue me which they won't then we just, uh, [Clicks tongue.]
kick that ol' policy back into gear? I understand your situation.
I do.
But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage.
And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year, because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up.
Considerably.
How considerably? Um [Drawer opens.]
Looks like roughly 150%.
[Breathing sharply.]
[Chuckling.]
God.
[Sniffling.]
[Drawer closes.]
Mr.
McGill? [Sighs.]
[Sniffles.]
Oh.
I Mr.
McGill, I'm sorry.
I wish we could help you, but we just can't.
[Sniffles.]
I'm sorry.
It's hard.
Very, very hard.
[Sniffles.]
I'm just having a rough time.
I just need a break.
[Voice breaking.]
Just one break.
And I know you I know you can't do anything, but [Crying.]
I'm getting run out on this community service and getting ripped off left and right, and my car won't start.
[Chuckles.]
My gal is disappointed in me, and my brother [Sniffles.]
[Crying.]
My brother is sick! And he's alone.
I spent years caring for him, and now he hates me.
He's the only family I got left, and he hates me.
He hates my guts.
Is this your brother, Charles? - Oh.
- [Sniffles.]
And I pretend not to care, but he's my brother.
How can I not? He's mentally ill.
He's he's holed up in a house with no electricity.
He's working by the light of gas lanterns.
Wha He's making mistakes with his clients.
He's mixin' up numbers on important documents.
He he He had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.
Your brother he had a breakdown in court? It's in the transcripts.
[Sobbing.]
God.
And I'm worried, I'm just if he screws up with one more big client it's just gonna destroy him! [Sniffles.]
Oh, don't don't write What are you writing? No, don't write.
I-I didn't mean to say that.
I don't want him to get in trouble with you guys - 'cause of me.
I - Right.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go.
You're not gonna do anything, are you? I-I wouldn't worry about it, Mr.
McGill.
Uh, please feel better.
I'm sorry.
Just for uh, forget.
[Indistinct conversations.]
[Telephone ringing.]
My father is a simple man.
You will teach him.
[Coughs.]
Tonight, I celebrate with the world's best attorney.
Have you given any thought to what you're gonna do for the next year? I'm out 4,000 bucks.
So you're gonna keep paying for half a law office even though you're not practicing law? I'll hold up my end, you hold up yours.
I'm selling advertising why not advertise? What commercial did you run? I made a new one.
[Footsteps approach.]
[Birds chirping.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Slurps.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Footsteps approach.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Vehicle door opens, closes.]
[Man clears throat.]
[Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Sniffles.]
Name? Um.
[Clears throat.]
James McGill.
[Sniffles.]
Bring your card? Yeah.
[Sighs.]
[Clears throat.]
Sign there.
[Horn honks in distance.]
Can I read it first? It's just a waiver.
We're not responsible if you hurt yourself.
[Train whistle blows in distance.]
[Sighs.]
[Engine rumbling.]
[Gearshift clicks, door creaks.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Vehicles passing.]
[Scoffs.]
[Cellphone vibrating.]
Good morning.
Saul Goodman Productions.
T-that's right.
We, uh we do it all we write it, shoot it, get ya on the air for one low, low price.
May I ask what business you have? Computer repair? That is a perfect business to advertise on television because, you know, computers are our future.
[Chuckles.]
Uh yes, well, our rates are - [Trucks engines rumbling.]
- Ah! Sorry.
That was, uh, one of our trucks.
We're, uh, location shooting today.
It's a big production, actually.
Our usual rate is one commercial, one airing $850, but you're in luck today, we have a one-time special.
Our Elite package.
Seven commercials, seven airings for forty forty-six hundred dollars.
Yeah.
Forty-six hundred dollars.
And we can a Hello? Hello? [Cellphone beeps.]
[Engines rumbling.]
No, I didn't, because you keep putting me on hold.
[Vehicle passing.]
Okay, my situ Hello? My sit yes, my situation is this.
I two months ago, I paid for a full year, uh, but, due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not gonna be a lawyer for the next 12 months.
- [Vehicle passing.]
- [Sighs.]
Uh-huh.
Yes, suspended.
So I'm not practicing, so I don't need malpractice insurance, and I'd like to speak to someone about a refund.
But y well, then, may I please speak to someone who can make a decision? No, no, no.
Don't put me on hold again, please.
He Hello? He [Vehicle passing.]
[Horn honks.]
[Whistle blowing.]
[Vehicle passing.]
Wait a minute.
This says 30 minutes.
Yep.
We were out here for four hours.
You were on your phone.
You knew the rules when you signed up.
But I collected more garbage than anybody out here.
I have to be able to conduct business to earn a living.
No.
[Scoffs.]
What do you mean "no"? Think of community service as your jail time.
No phones allowed in jail.
W-w-well, hold on there, buddy.
I mean, who do you think you are, huh? Y-y-you think you can treat us like this? Yeah? We're out here for the good of the great city of Albuquerque not for you.
You're not our lord and master.
You don't get to sit back and decide who's worthy and who isn't.
Am I right? Dude, are you gonna get in the van or what? C'mon.
30 minutes? That stuff's not right.
You can do better than that.
[Sighs.]
We could make it zero.
[Sighing.]
[Paper rustles.]
[Sighs.]
[Horn blares.]
[Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Door opens.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Trunk creaks.]
[Engine starts.]
[Keys jingling.]
[Engine sputtering.]
Come on.
Come on! - [Sputtering continues.]
- Come on, baby! Ohh! [Sighs.]
[Engine starts.]
- Yes! - [Gearshift clicks.]
[Engine revs, exhaust pops.]
So come on down to Duke City Recliners and put your feet up! Mention this ad and get 10% off your first purchase.
And cut.
Great! How was that? - Good for camera.
- Sound was good.
Yep.
- Thank you.
That was great.
- Hold up.
Hold up.
I wanna do one more.
Was that okay? [Clicks tongue.]
It was great, uh, but I just I want I want you to connect more with the audience.
Like you're talking to a friend.
Look into that lens and see a friend.
Can you do that? I mean, think of a specific friend.
- Do you see him? - Yes.
Okay.
Who is he? - My friend Ron.
- Great.
Look into that lens and see Ron.
And just two guys, just chattin' about chairs.
- [Sighs, sniffles.]
- D-don't think about it.
Just throw it away.
Last looks.
Roll sound.
Sound speed.
- Camera? - Cam camera set.
And havin' a conversation with your good friend Ron.
Just a couple of guys talkin'.
And you got some very exciting news about the recliners that you've been dyin' to share with him.
And action.
So come on down to Duke City Recliners and put your feet up! Mention this ad and get 10% off your first purchase.
And cut! Great! That's the one! Check the gate! How did that feel?! Good, I guess.
What what did you think? Good! So good! Just very, very - just great! - It was very nice.
Listen, you are on a roll, my friend.
I say we strike while the iron is hot.
Remember that other offer we discussed? More commercials at the discounted rate? Got my whole crew here.
We could bang out seven more and give you a run that'll make you a household name.
- Waddya say? - But, Mr.
Goodman, I love the idea of more commercials, but I just can't swing it.
- My wife didn't want me to do this one.
- You know what? They say you gotta spend money to make money.
And, uh [Chuckles.]
and I tell ya what you got a chance here to potentially spike your sales by hundreds hell, thousands of new customers who'd never even heard of Duke City Recliners.
- What do ya say? - Sure, s-sure.
B-but but like I said [Sighs.]
I only have enough to pay for the one.
[Sighs.]
Well, you know what? I like you, and I wanna help.
So I know we discussed a discounted rate of $545 per commercial, but if you sign up right now for our Elite package now, that's seven commercials I think we can do the whole thing for $500 per commercial.
Now, that is $3,500, all in.
That is the bargain of a lifetime.
[Sighs.]
I don't know.
Any chance you could do it on credit? [Inhales sharply.]
On credit? No.
No.
I can't.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh, maybe another time.
Uh, let me get your money for this one.
Uh, can we make this easier and just split it four ways? "Split it four" I'll split you four ways.
Don't they teach you capitalism in that school of yours? I'm just sayin', we got expenses, man.
You expen you don't have expenses! I've got expenses! You see this? This is money I've already spent on airtime for that commercial.
445 bucks.
You know what that leaves me with? - $100.
- $104.
95! For writing, directing, producing, client outreach, - sales, transpo all of it! - I get it.
Yeah.
So let's get you in the editing room and finish this thing, and I don't want to hear another word about expenses.
Kim: Okay.
Electric.
- Jimmy: [Sighs.]
- I paid this month.
Anything else? I bought a couple reams of paper for the printer.
Hmm.
Paper.
One hundred sixty-two.
Okay, so Mm Looks like puts me ahead this month $3,172.
All right.
And what's it to even me up? Uh divided by 2.
[Calculator buttons clicking.]
$1,586.
Okay.
[Inhales sharply.]
One thousand five hundred [Chuckles.]
Wow.
Mr.
Moneybags, huh? So this commercial thing.
It's turning a profit? It's TV.
How could there not be a profit? You didn't drain your bank account, did you? [Chuckling.]
What? No - I didn't - [Knock on door.]
Uh, oh, that's, uh, Chinese food.
I ordered it for us.
- You're workin' late, right? - Yeah.
Right.
Thanks.
Oh, uh wait, here.
No, I got this.
- Hey, hi.
- $24.
[Clears throat.]
Here.
Keep the change.
A dollar? Yeah.
We can make it zero.
[Freez's "I.
O.
U.
" plays.]
A-E-A-E-I-O-U-U [Insects chirping.]
[Clattering.]
[Door creaks.]
[Locks clicking.]
[Alarm beeping.]
[Locks clicking.]
[Beeping continues.]
[Keypad beeping.]
[Beeping stops.]
Ahh! Geez! What the hell?! I mean, what the hell? How'd you get in here? Relax.
I just want to talk.
Talk? [Chuckles.]
You mean, like, apologize? 'Cause that's really the only talk I want to hear.
I want to do some business.
Like before.
[Chuckles.]
Business? Is that, like, code for stealing my baseball cards? I'm not here for your baseball cards.
I'm here for this.
Can you get more of these? You want me to steal this? Get a prescription and go to a pharmacist.
- It'll be cheap.
- I need those capsules empty before they're sealed.
With those exact markings.
Well the place I work doesn't make these.
But But what? I could probably get some samples diverted on an R&D request.
So do it.
Why? I mean, what's the point? I need them.
[Scoffs lightly.]
O-kay.
And if I don't get them? Then what? Are you gonna threaten me? Break my legs? You get me those pills, and I'm gonna pay you $20,000.
Get them.
[Insects chirping.]
[Door creaks.]
[Sighs.]
[Creaking.]
[Thud.]
[Thud.]
[Children shouting in distance.]
Woman: Let her have the ball.
[Chatter.]
Man: Hold on, okay? Stacey: Hey, Pop.
You doing okay? Uh, yeah.
It's coming along.
Have a couple of volunteers here who want to help.
Well, thanks, but I think I'm good.
Please, we can't let you do it all by yourself.
Certainly not after you bought all the supplies.
At least let the church reimburse you.
- It's a donation.
- Woman: C'mon.
You've got unskilled but eager laborers.
Let us do something.
Just point and tell us what to do.
Oh.
All right, uh how about you dump one of those packs into the wheelbarrow? And you you fill that bucket up to the brim with water.
And then you dump it in, little by little, while he stirs it with a hoe.
- You got it.
- Okay.
I'm ready.
What can I do? - I think we're covered.
- [Chuckles.]
You're kidding, right? It's not that big a job.
[Water splashing.]
- Am I doing this right? - Uh why don't you try using this instead? Excuse me? It's for the walkway.
Look.
It puts down a texture so the kids don't slip when it gets wet.
[Chatter in distance.]
Like this? You got it.
Nice and gentle.
- You're Kaylee's Pop-Pop, right? - [Laughter.]
I am.
I am the very proud grandfather.
- I'm Anita.
- Mike.
- Nice to meet you, Mike.
- And you.
And thanks for helping.
Well, thank you for not trying to do this all by yourself.
[Chatter continues.]
[Car door creaks.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicle passing in distance.]
Hey.
Carl? Yeah.
Hold the fort for a few minutes, wouldja? You got it, Mike.
[Sighs.]
[Video game plays "Trojan Warrior Theme".]
Oh, hey.
You're here.
This your idea of stealth? I never claimed to be good at this.
Any of it.
- [Siren wails in distance.]
- On that, we can agree.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.
I wanna hire you again.
Do what now? Hire you.
As my back-up man.
Same terms as before.
I don't wanna make the same mistake as last time.
You don't wanna make the same mistake, then don't get involved with whatever it is you're getting involved with.
But I'm involved already.
I'm not.
Well it's Nacho Varga.
[Sighs.]
What about him? He broke into my house.
He was inside, waiting for me.
Somehow, he got past my security system.
I have no idea how! All he had to do was unplug your phone lines.
Oh.
That's it? Huh.
What'd he want? Pills.
Well not exactly.
Empty Lydristel capsules.
- Lydristel? - Yeah.
They're like nitroglycerin.
And he offered me money lots of money.
Way more than they're even worth.
But I'm afraid if I don't do it, or even if I do do it I don't know Tell him you can't get what he needs.
I already ordered them.
I mean, the shipment gets here in two days.
He knows.
Then make up an excuse.
[Sighs.]
Fine.
$3,000.
- I'll give you $3,000.
- I'm not interested.
And you find a way out of it.
[Scoffs.]
But Not interested! [Gearshift clicks.]
[Seatbelt clicks.]
[Engine shuts off.]
[Engine starts in distance.]
[Cellphone beeping.]
[Sighs.]
- [Alarm beeping.]
- [Gasps.]
- Paige: Look full disclosure.
- [Beeping stops.]
When you told us about the disciplinary hearing, - I admit it I had concerns.
- [Elevator bell dings.]
So, just so you know, I had to do my due diligence.
I read the transcripts.
All of them.
It was amazing.
What you did to Charles you and James set him up perfectly.
[Chuckling.]
You destroyed him.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't believe some of it.
"I'm not crazy.
It's 1216, - "one after Magna Carta.
" - [Elevator bell dings.]
- [Laughing.]
The Magna Carta? - [Chuckles.]
It was perfect.
[Chuckling.]
"You think this chicanery is bad?" Who talks like that? [Chuckles.]
On page 5 is a breakdown of loan-to-deposit ratios by county, and you can see, if Mesa Verde is going to comply with Section 109, you will have to raise your loan numbers.
Mm.
That can't be right.
We were fine in Arizona.
Yes, but the FDIC requirements in Utah are different.
96%? Is it really that high? I thought Arizona was only 79%.
Again, it was, but Utah has a higher loan-to-deposit ratio.
[Sighs.]
I think we're gonna need to check that.
That number seems way off.
The numbers are right.
But you can review the guidelines if you want.
Right here.
[Papers thud.]
You gonna check 'em or can we move on? Uh no of course, if it's 96%, it's 96%.
We'll increase our loan numbers.
Absolutely.
[Sighs.]
Can we review these fixed mortgage rates? 'Cause that's [Sighs.]
definitely an area we're gonna need to focus - Paige, I'm s that was - our attention unprofessional.
I didn't mean to speak to you that way.
Kim.
Don't worry.
It's not a problem.
At all.
No, I'm sorry.
There's no excuse for talking to you like that.
[Sighs.]
I know how hard you've been working on this.
Please, I've forgotten about it already.
You should, too.
Okay? As far as I'm concerned, all we did all we did was tear down a sick man.
Fixed mortgage rates.
I think it's page 3.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
There's an acquisition comparison at the top, and you want to go by total [Vehicle approaching.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[Gearshift clicks.]
[Wheelchair squeaking.]
[Tires screeching.]
[Engine revs.]
[Tires screeching.]
- Get in! - Yeah.
Go! Chop-chop! C'mon, c'mon! [Grunts.]
Oh.
Get in! - Let's go.
- Trying.
[Sighs.]
[Engine sputtering.]
That doesn't sound good.
C'mon, c'mon.
- I think you're flooding it.
- I'm not flooding it! You're over-cranking it.
Oh, you don't know what you're talking about! We're still getting paid whether we get there or not.
- Maybe we should catch the bus.
- Sh come on! Just it's gonna start, okay? - [Sputtering continues.]
- Yeah, you definitely flooded it.
He drained the battery.
You drained the battery.
Can you not talk about something you know absolutely nothing about? - There's a bus we could get in.
- Shh! Shh! I just need to think for one minute! [Sighs.]
Look, we're taking the bus.
Yeah.
[Grunts.]
[Trunk creaks.]
[Panting.]
Film crew! Hold up the bus! You see that? Fender Stratocaster, signed by Ritchie Blackmore.
- You know who that is, right? - Someone no one's ever heard of? That's real good.
I hope your parents enjoy supporting you for the rest of their lives.
C'mon, Ritchie Blackmore.
Deep Purple.
Ohh.
"Another Brick in the Wall.
" Oh, I weep for the future.
[Sighs.]
Mr.
McGill, we have a problem.
Them.
Hey, fellas.
Uh, you ready? We got the first shot all lined up.
- Can I walk you through it? - Uh We hate to do this to you, but - We're having second thoughts.
- Yeah.
I get it.
That's just nerves.
Just stage fright.
Uh, tell you what we got cue cards, and with the magic of editing, we're gonna make you guys look like James Garner and Mariette Hartley.
It's not that.
It's just that it it seems like too much money For not a whole lot of return.
And that, my friends that is where you're mistaken, because this is about brand awareness.
From now on, when people think guitars, they're gonna think "ABQ In Tune.
" When they think pianos "ABQ In Tune.
" Drums, xylophones for less than the price of that Ritchie Blackmore beauty you got on that rack, you're gonna have the whole town thinking, "ABQ In Tune.
" Yeah, but but what about the time slot? I mean, "Murder, She Wrote" repeats? - Come on.
- Come on.
Hey, grandmas love buying the gift of music for little Johnny and Sally and Skip, hmm? And it's school-recital season, so where are the kids gonna get those recorders? Uh, we don't sell recorders.
Synthesizers, then.
But the point is, those Social Security checks they got to be spent somewhere.
Mnh.
Hey, uh [Clears throat.]
as it happens, uh, today only, I can, uh, offer the same package, but 50% off.
Look I'm sorry, but we can't.
Not today, guys.
Don't do that.
Guys.
Now, come on.
Look, I know you want this.
I know you do.
50% off! Yeah, we get it, but we're just not Convinced.
[Sighs.]
Free.
[Clears throat.]
I'll shoot the spot for free.
For free? You will shoot this spot for free? I'll film your ad, and I'll put it on the air.
But when you see more traffic coming through here and you will then we do the other spots for the original rate.
Okay? Now, how can you say no? [Sighs.]
- I mean, when he puts it like that - I guess we can't.
Good.
That's the best decision you're gonna make.
The the best! [Vehicles passing.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Sighs.]
Uh you gonna catch the bus, Mr.
McGill? No, I um You guys get to the editing room.
I just need t to sit.
Mr.
McGill? Oh, no.
I-I can't.
It's okay.
No, that's yours.
You earned it.
But you're losing money.
We'll see.
It it'll be fine.
Okay.
So, I finally got my act together.
I pulled a bunch of Alan's boxes out of the closet.
[Inhales sharply.]
Only took me eight years.
I gave all of Alan's clothes a last wash before driving them over to Goodwill.
I cried.
I cried when I washed them.
I cried when I folded them.
I cried when I dropped 'em off.
But once it was done it felt good to let them go.
[Man coughs softly.]
I kept his uniform, though.
[Chuckles.]
Can't let that go.
Lord, he'd never forgive me if I let that go.
[Laughs.]
But I figure it's okay to keep one thing, right? I mean people can use the other clothes, but not sure what use they'd have for an old uniform.
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
I just don't remember this much homework when I was Kaylee's age.
It doesn't seem to bother her, but still Most of it's just busywork.
A couple of us actually spoke to the school board, and they agreed Done.
All yours.
Fair warning, the coffee's not all that.
[Chuckles.]
Mm.
I guess they feel if you can face this, - you can face anything.
- Could be.
- I must be stronger than I think.
- Mm.
You mind if I ask and I really don't mean to pry, but Let me guess.
You have another construction job you need my help on.
Uh, no.
But if I do, you'll be the first person I call.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, ask away.
You said you kept your husband's uniform.
Was he on the job? On the job? Oh, you mean the police.
[Chuckling.]
No.
Alan was a Navy man.
He was well out of the service when I lost him.
I'm sorry.
The group has heard my story over and over.
Well, that's what we're here for.
Well Alan loved to hike.
We even opened a camping-supply store.
I helped him with the mail-order side of it.
And then, uh this was eight years ago he went hiking in Gila National and never came back.
They found our car, but they never found him.
And I don't know if he slipped and fell or had a heart attack or met someone who didn't like the way he looked I don't know.
And even after all these years, not knowing how he passed or where he is I wish it didn't matter.
But it does.
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Cellphone dialing.]
Pryce: Hello? It's me.
You make the deal? Uhhh, no.
Not yet.
Why? I'm in.
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Leaves rustling.]
[Door closes.]
[Groans, sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Vehicles passing in distance.]
[Chuckles.]
Hey, let's get outta here.
[Scoffs.]
What? Get out where? I am up to my neck in Mesa Verde.
I can't.
- C'mon, we're going.
Up.
- No, I can't.
- Na-ah! Nope.
Nothing - Jimmy [Laughs.]
nothing you can do to stop this.
[Inhales sharply.]
Uh, one thing you have to drive.
[Kruder & Dorfmeister's "Black Baby" plays.]
Oh, oh, oh.
Lookit this guy.
Ohh.
It's Alfred Hitchcock in a rented toupee.
[Laughs.]
C'mon.
Why would you rent a toupee? Y'know, from the Toupee Store.
- So you don't have to maintain it.
- [Chuckles.]
- All right.
Seven and Seven.
- Yeah.
And an Old Fashioned.
Keep 'em coming, good sir.
Uh, oh.
[Clears throat.]
Can you, uh, start charging this card - instead of that other one? - Yeah, yeah.
You got it.
- Thank you.
[Sniffles.]
- No problem.
You're not maxing out your cards, are you? Of course not.
I'm, um, spreading the points around.
- I got a system.
- Oh.
[Inhales sharply, sighs.]
- That moron takes the bet.
- [Clears throat.]
He took 3 points.
He's a fool.
Look, is it wrong Whoa.
Hey, hey, this guy over here.
[Inhales sharply.]
Yeah, he wants everyone to know what a big spender he is.
I got every dollar the guy owns.
We're here to meet a celebrity who's donating to my charity.
Kevin Costner.
I-I will go stand in that corner.
You point me out you're meeting Kevin Costner.
What? You don't look like Kevin Costner.
Uh I look exactly like Kevin Costner.
People are always coming up to me, saying they loved me in "Bull Durham.
" Never.
Never happened.
- Always.
- No, not once.
- [Snapping fingers.]
Hey! Hey, you! - Waiter: Yes, sir? - What is this? - Uh, dirty Martini? No, this is a $14 glass of puke.
Why don't you get that idiot look off your face and get me another one? - That guy.
- Who said anything about gin? - How do we get him? - Well, I want vodka.
- [Inhales sharply.]
- W-what am I just gonna hold it here? - What do you think? - You go and get me another one.
The the trick with the coin you told me about? I know your boss.
I'm an investor here.
- Or the counterfeit bill? - No.
I know your boss, and I know your boss' boss.
That guy's a real asshole.
Act together and get me a real drink.
He needs to go down.
Hard.
What kind of menial job is this? Here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna sell him a worthless credit card for 5,000 bucks.
[Chuckling.]
Here's what you do.
Make eye contact with him.
That's all it'll take for him to think you're interested.
I'll act good and drunk, and he'll think I'm a loser and try to steal you away.
He will persist.
Mm.
Tell him you can't leave me.
Not not yet.
Let him know you're trying to roll me.
[Inhales sharply.]
He'll want in.
He'll help you ply me with booze.
Then you take my wallet.
You lift the card.
Following this? We're not actually doing this, right? We're just talking? Yeah.
[Chuckling.]
Just talkin'.
[Sighs.]
What? Nothing.
It's not nothing.
What? I keep thinking was there another way? [Chuckling.]
Another way? W Chuck? Is that what you're talking about? Kim he had us in a corner, okay? - We did what we had to do.
- But Rebecca Everything that happened was his own fault.
Everything.
And put him in the rear-view mirror.
He is not worth thinkin' about.
Done.
Woman: Why, thank you.
Have a good evening.
[Sighs.]
[Indistinct conversations, glasses clinking.]
[Planet E's "Klub Kola" plays.]
How about that one? I bet we could get him to invest in some of Giselle St.
Claire's land in South Africa.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
[Sighs.]
The mining rights would be all his.
[Insects chirping.]
[Gearshift clicks.]
- [Engine shuts off.]
- [Keys jingle.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Sighs.]
Really? He called me.
For obvious reasons.
Look, I'm not here to rip him off.
He has the stuff, right? I need to know what you're planning.
What's it matter to you? I know they're for Salamanca.
Nitro pills.
Your boss has heart problems.
You already got it all figured out, why're you asking? How you gonna make the switch? [Sighs.]
Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket.
When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.
Mm.
He goes down.
Then what? His heart goes out.
That's it.
A lot of eyes on Salamanca.
You do this, how are you gonna stop them from finding out it was you? Are you tryin' to tell me not to do this? I'm not tellin' you anything.
Just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.
I'm not getting into anything.
I'm in it.
I've got no choice.
[Sighs.]
Hector wants to use my dad's business.
My dad is a straight arrow.
He won't stand for it, which means he goes to the police, which means he's a dead man.
And that's not happening.
You get caught, it could get worse.
You don't think I know who I'm dealing with? No.
I don't.
[Gas cap rattling.]
What are you doing? [Gas cap rattling.]
[Gas-cap door closes.]
There are more people than the Salamancas to worry about here.
Now, if you manage to pull this off without a bullet in your head and switch those pills, then switch 'em back.
Switch them back? Why? Anyone gets an itch about the medicine not working, they're gonna look at those pills.
You do this switch 'em back.
So you gonna let us make this deal? You got the money? Good.
[Sniffles.]
Now, before we do this I'm gonna need one more thing from you.
- [Indistinct conversations.]
- [Intercom beeps.]
Yes? Okay.
Miss Valco will see you now.
- Oh.
- Second door.
[Breathes sharply.]
Hi there.
Come on in.
Yeah.
Hi.
I've called quite a few times about an issue I'm trying to address.
Do you have your policy number? No.
[Sighs.]
Can you just look up my name? McGill? Charles McGill of Hamlin, Hamlin, McGill? No, that's my brother.
Um [Clears throat.]
I'm Jimmy.
James McGill.
Solo practitioner.
Oh.
There you are.
Looks like you're all paid up through the year.
That's sort of the issue.
Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, my license has been suspended.
Yes, I see that here.
Right.
Well I was hoping I could get a refund for the time that I won't be a lawyer.
Now, that's only fair, right? I'm sorry, Mr.
McGill.
It doesn't work like that.
We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.
[Sighs.]
But it's a it's a lot of money for nothing.
I understand it seems that way, but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you, this continues your coverage.
[Snaps fingers.]
That's the thing.
My clients? They love me.
And they would never bring a suit against me.
I'm [Chuckling.]
extremely lovable.
I can see that.
But it's company policy.
[Snaps fingers.]
What about we put the insurance on hold? And then, if someone were to try to sue me which they won't then we just, uh, [Clicks tongue.]
kick that ol' policy back into gear? I understand your situation.
I do.
But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage.
And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year, because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up.
Considerably.
How considerably? Um [Drawer opens.]
Looks like roughly 150%.
[Breathing sharply.]
[Chuckling.]
God.
[Sniffling.]
[Drawer closes.]
Mr.
McGill? [Sighs.]
[Sniffles.]
Oh.
I Mr.
McGill, I'm sorry.
I wish we could help you, but we just can't.
[Sniffles.]
I'm sorry.
It's hard.
Very, very hard.
[Sniffles.]
I'm just having a rough time.
I just need a break.
[Voice breaking.]
Just one break.
And I know you I know you can't do anything, but [Crying.]
I'm getting run out on this community service and getting ripped off left and right, and my car won't start.
[Chuckles.]
My gal is disappointed in me, and my brother [Sniffles.]
[Crying.]
My brother is sick! And he's alone.
I spent years caring for him, and now he hates me.
He's the only family I got left, and he hates me.
He hates my guts.
Is this your brother, Charles? - Oh.
- [Sniffles.]
And I pretend not to care, but he's my brother.
How can I not? He's mentally ill.
He's he's holed up in a house with no electricity.
He's working by the light of gas lanterns.
Wha He's making mistakes with his clients.
He's mixin' up numbers on important documents.
He he He had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.
Your brother he had a breakdown in court? It's in the transcripts.
[Sobbing.]
God.
And I'm worried, I'm just if he screws up with one more big client it's just gonna destroy him! [Sniffles.]
Oh, don't don't write What are you writing? No, don't write.
I-I didn't mean to say that.
I don't want him to get in trouble with you guys - 'cause of me.
I - Right.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go.
You're not gonna do anything, are you? I-I wouldn't worry about it, Mr.
McGill.
Uh, please feel better.
I'm sorry.
Just for uh, forget.
[Indistinct conversations.]
[Telephone ringing.]