Buffy the Vampire Slayer s03e07 Episode Script

If I could walk out You know I never lied Oz! Hey.
Have a seat.
Except we don't have any seats.
It's OK.
I'll just scrunch in.
- Xander, why are you giving me a lap dance?|- What? I just like ya.
And that's very beautiful.
I think it's great|when two people like two people and wanna be close to them|instead of anyone else.
- Hear, hear!|- Yeah, well put.
Can I snag a sip? - Sure.
|- You got it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We're here|through Saturday.
Enjoy the veal.
Why are you guys so hyper? Hey, speaking of people and things|they do that aren't like usual, anyone notice Buffy acting sort of different? Let's see, killing zombies,|torching sewer monsters and No, that's pretty much the same old Buffster.
I just mean she's off by herself a lot|more, and she's kind of distracted.
Think maybe she has a new honey? A boyfriend? Why wouldn't she tell us? Excuse me? When your last steady|killed half the class, then your rebound guy sends you|a dump-a-gram? It makes a girl shy.
But we're the best of Buffy's|bestest buds.
She'd tell us.
Tell you what? About your new boyfriend,|who we made up.
Unless we didn't.
- This was a topic of discussion?|- Raised, but never discussed.
So, are you dating somebody or not? I wouldn't use the word "dating".
But I am going out with somebody.
|Tonight, as a matter of fact.
- Really? Who?|- What's up? Time to motivate.
Really, we're just good friends.
- What do you think?|- Sloppy.
You telegraph punches,|leave blind sides open, and, for a school-night slaying, take entirely|too much time.
Which one of you is Faith? It depends.
Who the hell are you? Gwendolyn Post.
Mrs.
Your new watcher.
I'm telling you, I don't need a new watcher.
No offence, lady.
I just have|this problem with authority figures.
They end up kinda dead.
Duly noted.
Fortunately, it's not up to you.
Mr Giles, where do you keep|the rest of your books? - I'm sorry, the rest?|- Yes, the actual library.
Oh.
I see.
I assure you, Mrs Post,|this is the finest occult reference collection This side of the Atlantic.
I'm sure.
Do you have Hume's|Paranormal Encyclopaedia? the Labyrinth Maps of Malta? It's on order.
I suppose you have Sir Robert Kane's|Twilight Compendium? Yes, I Yes, I do.
Yes, of course you do.
I have been sent by the Council|for a very important reason.
Faith needs a watcher.
I am to act in that capacity and report back.
Excuse me, Mary Poppins,|you don't seem to be listening Faith, if the Council feels|you need closer observation, then we will all, of course, cooperate.
The Council wishes me to report on|the entire situation here, including you.
Academic probation's|not so funny today, huh, Giles? The fact is there's talk in the Council|that you have become a bit too American.
- Me?|- Him? A demon named Lagos|is coming here to the Hellmouth.
Mr Giles, an illustration|of Lagos, if you please.
Yes.
Perhaps later.
Lagos seeks the Glove of Myhnegon.
No record of this glove's full power exists, but we do know it is highly dangerous|and must not fall into the hands of a demon.
Lagos must be stopped.
What do you propose? Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion,|I thought we might kill him.
I suggest two slayers at full strength|for a coordinated hunt.
We believe the glove to be|buried in a tomb somewhere, so Lagos will be headed for the cemetery.
There is more than one in Sunnydale.
I see.
How many? Twelve within the city limits.
Well, we'll just have|to take them one at a time.
Anything in your books that might pinpoint|the location of the tomb would be useful.
But then, we cannot ask for miracles.
We will begin tomorrow at sunset.
Faith? With me, please.
That was bracing.
Interesting lady.
Can we kill her? I think the Council might frown upon that.
Well, how do you feel|about a spot of training? I'd better go.
Big night for us slayer types.
People to see, demons to kill Better hurry before somebody|figures out what we're doing.
What are we doing? Training.
And almost kissing.
I'm sorry.
It's just old habit.
Bad, bad habit, to be broken.
It's hard.
It's not hard.
Cold turkey.
|That's the key to quitting.
You think they make a patch for this? - You have to go.
|- I really do.
I'm gonna try and vent a little hormonal angst|by killing a Lagos, whatever that is.
Lagos? Some demon looking for some|all-powerful thingumabob and I gotta stop him|before he unleashes unholy havoc and it's another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.
Be careful.
This is intolerable.
There's not|a word here about Lagos or the glove.
We don't have time for this near-missing.
Just find out all you can about the demon,|its strengths, weaknesses, places of origin and, most importantly, what it|plans to do with this blasted glove.
Hey, you're not the watcher of me.
Then go home.
But if you|choose to stay, then work.
It's late, I'm tired.
|What does he want from us anyway? The number of a qualified surgeon|to remove the British flag from his butt? My eyes are all blurry.
Stop.
Right.
Stop means no.
And no means no, so, uh, stop.
Willow, Xander,|you can stop your, uh, studying.
I've got what I need.
What have you got? The probable location|of the Glove of Myhnegon.
It's housed in the Von Hauptman family crypt.
Yeah, that's that big one|over at the Restfield Cemetery.
Well, that's great, Giles.
How'd you find it? I looked.
- Where's Buffy at?|- I'm not sure.
Well, I'll go check out this crypt.
|Tell her heads up if she stops by.
Yes, by all means, go.
And I'll just keep studying.
I think we're|on the verge of a big Lagos breakthrough.
No, I'd say we're done.
Ronnie, deadbeat.
Steve, klepto.
Kenny, drummer! Eventually I just had to face up|to my destiny as a loser magnet.
Now it's strictly "get some, get gone".
|You can't trust guys.
You can trust some guys.
Really.
I've read about them.
Yeah.
So what about you? You mean, like, me and guys me?|Not much to tell these days.
But you gotta have stories.
I mean, I've had my share of losers,|but you boinked the undead.
What was that like? Life with Angel is was complicated.
- It's still a little hard for me to talk about.
|- Well, try.
Look, Faith, all the Angel issues are still kind|of with me, so if you don't mind I'd rather not.
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever.
You know what? We're 0-for-6 tonight.
|Why don't we just blow this off? I am kinda beat.
But Shady Hill's pretty close.
I'll swing through it.
It's on my way anyway.
- Alone? I don't know if I feel|- I got Miss Priss on my back now.
I don't need another baby-sitter.
|I'll holler if I have any fun.
OK.
- Later.
|- Thanks.
Son of a bitch, it's my lucky day.
Hey, Giles, here's a nifty idea.
Why don't I alleviate my guilt by going out|and getting myself really, really killed? - Oh, God.
|- Buffy What am I doing? What are you doing? - I don't know.
|- Shame on you.
Oh, God.
I don't even|know why I came back here.
It's good you did.
I think I have what you're looking for.
Great.
Just, wherever this was gift wrapped,|remind me not to shop there.
The Glove of Myhnegon.
- The world's ugliest fashion accessory.
|- Don't.
Once you put it on|the glove can never be removed.
So no touching.
Kinda like us.
You hold onto it.
I'll tell Giles in the morning.
At least he'll be happy.
Ah, yes! There we are.
There's a wood engraving.
|See? The Glove of Myhnegon.
Yes, engraved by|Father Theodore of Wolsham.
Based, I believe, on very sketchy|and unreliable folk legends.
The pictures are fun, Mr Giles, but one|really ought to read the nice words as well.
Yes.
Some tea, perhaps.
I know that you must find me tiresome,|but it's insidious really.
One slips up on the little things and soon|everything's gone to hell in a handbasket.
For example, Buffy, your slayer.
Mrs Post, I can assure you that Buffy|is both dedicated and industrious.
And I am in complete control of my slayer.
Giles, we have a big problem.
It's Buffy.
Will you excuse us? Would you like some assistance? Thank you.
That won't be necessary.
Lagos is out of luck.
|I got the magic mitten thingy.
What's with all the tragedy masks? Better take a seat, Buffy.
What's going on? We know Angel is alive.
Xander saw you with him.
It would appear that you've been|hiding him and that you lied to us.
Nobody's here to blame you, Buffy.
|But this is serious.
You need help.
It's not what you think.
Hope not.
Cos I think|you're harbouring a vicious killer.
This isn't about attacking Buffy.
Remember, "I" statements only.
|"I feel angry", "I feel worried" Fine.
Here's one.
I feel worried - about me! Last time, Angel barely laid a hand on Buffy.
|He was more interested in killing her friends.
- But he's better now.
|- Better for how long, Buffy? Did you even think about that? What is this? Demons Anonymous?|I don't need an intervention here.
Don't you? You must have|known it was wrong seeing Angel, or you wouldn't have|hidden it from all of us.
I was going to tell you.
I was.
It was just that|I didn't know why he came back.
I just wanted to wait.
For what? For Angel to go psycho again|the next time you give him a happy? I'm not going to We're not together like that.
But you were kissing him.
You were spying on me? What gives you the right? What gives you the right to suck face|with your demon lover again? - It was an accident.
|- What, you just tripped and fell on his lips? It was wrong, OK? I know that,|and I know that it can't happen again.
But you guys have to believe me,|I would never put you in any danger.
If I thought for a second|Angel was gonna hurt anyone You would stop him.
Like you did last time with Ms Calendar.
Buffy, I feel that when it comes|to Angel you can't see straight.
And that's why we're all|gonna help you face this.
But he's better now, I swear.
He's the one|that found the Glove of Myhnegon.
- He's keeping it safe in the mansion.
|- Right.
Great plan.
Leave tons of firepower with the scary guy|and leave us to clean up the mess.
- You'd love an excuse to hurt him.
|- I don't need an excuse.
I think lots of dead people|actually constitutes a reason.
Right.
This is all nobility|and has nothing to do with jealousy.
Hello? Miss Not Over Yourself Yet? - Don't you start.
|- Giles, no one's doing the "I" statements.
That's enough.
Everybody.
Buffy knows our concerns, and her actions,|however ill-advised, can be understood.
Our priority right now is to retrieve|the Glove of Myhnegon and try to destroy it.
Now all of you, back to your classes.
Thanks for the bail in there.
I know this is a lot to absorb, but Angel|did find the glove, and that was a Be quiet.
I won't remind you that the fate|of the world often lies with the Slayer.
What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've|jeopardised the lives of all you hold dear by harbouring a known murderer.
But sadly I must remind you|that Angel tortured me.
For hours.
For pleasure.
You should have told me|he was alive.
You didn't.
You have no respect for me,|or the job I perform.
A word of advice? Vampires rarely knock.
Especially in daylight.
Oh, right.
So, this is your home.
Yeah.
The decorator actually just left.
Faith, do you know who the Spartans were? Wild stab, a bunch o' guys from Spart? They were the fiercest warriors|known to ancient Greece.
And they lived in quarters very much|like these.
Do you know why? Because a true fighter needs nothing else.
I'm going to be very hard on you, Faith.
I will not brook insolence or laziness.
And I will not allow blunders|like last night's attack.
You will probably hate me|a great deal of the time.
You think? But I will make you a better slayer.
And that will keep you alive.
You have to trust that I am right.
God knows what Mr Giles|has been filling your head with.
Giles is OK.
His methods are unfathomable to me.
|I find him entirely confounding.
But that is not important.
Let him|have his games and secret meetings.
What meetings? Oh, I don't know.
Something|with Buffy and her friends.
Oh.
Right.
I guess that doesn't include me.
And why does he let her socialise|so much? It hardly seems No matter.
Would you like to do some training? Training? As in kicking,|punching and stabbing? - Yes, that's the idea.
|- I'm your girl.
- Hey.
|- Hey.
So, on a scale of one to a million,|how much are you hating me right now? Zero.
You were scared.
|You kept a secret, you know? It's OK.
I mean, secrets aren't bad,|you know? They're normal.
They're better than normal.
|They're good.
Secrets are good.
Must be a reason why we keep 'em, right? Yeah, I guess.
So, are you goin' to the Bronze tonight? Or are you gonna sneak away for|a not-so-secret rendezvous with Angel? None of the above.
I'm gonna try and kill|this Lagos guy.
Peace offering to Giles.
Well, Angel has the glove now, right? Yep.
But Lagos doesn't know that.
Sooner or later he'll show up|at that crypt looking for it.
Ah, but instead he finds|a Buffy in a not-so-good mood? That's my brilliant plan.
You look pissed.
- Rough day.
|- Tell me about it.
Rather just shoot.
Don't think I don't know what you and your|pals were talking about behind my back.
Yeah? What was that? - More about this glove than you're saying.
|- The Glove of Myhnegon? Right.
How'd you like some real news?|Angel's still alive.
The vampire.
Back in town.
Saw him myself.
|Totin' the popular and famous glove.
Angel.
Guy like that, that kind of glove,|could kill a whole mess of people.
Said the same thing to Buffy myself.
|Weird how she didn't seem to care.
Buffy knew he was alive? I can't believe her! She says he's clean.
Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out.
|I say I deal with this problem right now.
I say I slay.
Can I come? You wanted to see me, Mr Giles? Yes.
I do apologise for|bringing you in at this late hour.
Please.
A good watcher must be|awake and alert at all hours.
Would you like some tea? God, yes, please.
I'm completely knackered.
I spent|the afternoon training with Faith.
She doesn't lack for energy.
She's your first slayer, I take it? If you're questioning my qualifications No, I'm not.
I have the utmost respect for your methods.
|In my own American way.
I also have the glove.
Not actually on me, but I believe it's safe.
It's in a mansion on Crawford Street.
|A friend of Buffy's is keeping it there.
Well, we must get to it.
Immediately.
- Hide it before someone else finds it.
|- Or, better still, destroy it.
- Destroy it?|- Yes.
Yes, I didn't think|it could be done either, but It involves transforming fire|into Living Flame and immolating the glove.
It's complex, but I believe|I have all the necessary materials.
Well, I must say, Mr Giles, good show.
Good show indeed.
Not to downplay my own slaying abilities, which in some circles are considered|formidable, but shouldn't Faith be here? I tried calling, but no one was home.
Look, if you're feeling any demon-o-phobia,|please, splitting is totally an option.
You're not the one in trouble with Giles.
That's true.
How long do you think|he can stay angry at me anyway? The emotional Marathon Man? Yeah.
I can't really blame him.
It's weird, though.
Now that my secret Angel, it's all out in the open I feel better.
Well, sure you do.
|This big burden's been lifted.
I mean, keeping secrets is a lot of work.
One could hypothetically imagine.
You have no idea.
None whatsoever.
But can I ask you a question? When you were with Angel|and nobody knew about it, did that make it feel,|you know, sexier somehow? Not really.
It's too much pressure.
After awhile it even makes|the fun parts not so fun.
What makes you think all this|secret stuff is sexy anyway? Nothing.
Just wondering.
Gotta keep|askin' the big old questions when you're blessed with|this girl's thirst for knowledge.
OK, there's something I have to tell you.
What? OK.
This will make me feel better, right? You know, I always|consider myself a good person.
Floss, do my homework, never cheat But lately, and please don't judge me on this,|but I want you to be the first to know that that there's a demon behind you.
Now we're talkin'.
Yes.
Sorry about that.
So, what were you saying? Oh, I I opened my SAT test booklet|five minutes early.
Just doesn't seem important now, does it? Your secret's safe with me.
Come on, let's go bring|Giles some happiness.
Good old Sunnydale library, fully equipped|with reference books, file cards and weapons.
I call crossbow.
You got it.
- All right, ready to go?|- That I am.
- Wait.
|- What? Oh, my God, it's Giles.
Giles, can you hear me? - What the hell happened?|- Let me guess.
Stop.
Hold.
Just think a minute.
- Yeah, I'm thinking: Buffy's ex-meat did this.
|- It's not Angel's style.
- He's a demon.
How much proof d'you need?|- Bite marks would be nice.
Yeah, I have medical emergency.
|Sunnydale High.
- Screw this waiting crap.
|- Faith, if we leave, Giles could die.
He's gonna have a lot of company|unless I do something.
- Wait.
|- For what? You to grow a pair? You handle the baby-sit and I'll kill Angel.
Dammit! Exorere, Flamma Vitae, Prodi ex loco tuo elementorum, in hunc mundum vivorum, Exorere, Flamma Vitae, Prodi ex loco tuo elementorum,|in hunc mundum vivorum, Giles is gonna be psyched|that we showed up stuffy old Mrs Post.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Caucasian male, mid-forties, head trauma.
|Notify ER, we're bringing him in.
- What happened?|- No time for this.
Wait.
Buffy, you must destroy the glove.
You want him to live? Get out of the way.
Use Living Flame.
Move.
What happened? Your boyfriend's not as cured as you thought.
- What makes you think Angel did this?|- We saw what you saw.
- So you just assume?|- I didn't.
Faith did.
- What did you tell her?|- Only what everyone knows.
She's a big girl.
|Came to her own conclusions.
How much of a head start does she have? Ten minutes.
Go through Giles' research.
|Figure out how to destroy the glove.
Shut up and help me.
- What do you want?|- Gwen Post.
Mr Giles sent me.
What for? To help you destroy the glove.
|Is that the Living Flame? Yes.
Look, I'm sorry to be so abrupt,|but Lagos is on his way here now.
If you're performing the ritual incorrectly,|it will only make the glove more powerful.
All right.
Good.
Where is the glove? It's in the trunk.
That's what I love about this town.
|Everyone's so helpful.
Bugger! Bugger! OK.
That hurt.
It was supposed to kill you.
If you'd been human, it would have.
But I believe this is your poison.
Mrs Post! I can't believe how much I'm gonna kill you! - You're not gettin' that glove.
|- Wanna bet? What? Think we got it? Well, it's either the catalyst for Living Flame|or just some really smelly sand.
- We'll have to test this.
|- I'll double-check.
- What?|- I know what the glove does.
There's no time to test this.
- I can't let you do it, Faith.
|- You're confused, twinkie.
Let me clear you up:|vampire, Slayer, dead vampire.
There's a lot that you don't understand.
Faith? She doesn't know.
|She's blinded by love.
- Faith, no.
|- Trust me.
We can figure this out.
The glove.
It's in the trunk.
- I'll get it.
|- Help Faith.
What are you? Stop.
Guys, listen.
Finally.
Tar chugam a chumhacht Myhnegon! What's going on? Faith, a word of advice.
You're an idiot.
Tar frim! Tar frim! Tar frim! Can you draw her fire? - You bet I can.
|- Go do it.
Tar frim! There's nothing you can do to me now.
|I have the glove.
- With the glove comes the power.
|- I'm getting that.
So there's no more glove thingy? Well, a little Living Flame,|a little mesquite, gone for good.
- Sounds like we missed a lotta fun.
|- Then we're telling it wrong.
What do you think Buffy and Angel will do? Boy, do I don't know.
Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey|death - that sort of makes me like him again.
Well, as long as she and Angel|don't get pelvic, we'll be OK, I guess.
- What are you guys talkin' about?|- Oddly enough, your boyfriend.
Again.
He's not my boyfriend.
Really, truly.
He's I don't know.
Are we cool? Yeah.
Just seein' the two of you kissing|after everything that happened, I leaned toward the postal.
- But I trust you.
|- I don't.
Just for the record.
Let me guess.
|Gwendolyn Post, not a watcher? Yes, she was.
She was kicked out|by the Council a couple of years ago for misuses of dark power.
They swear there was a memo.
Well, I'd better go.
|Little more damage control.
The whole Angel thing is so weird.
Yes, well, we'll have to see|how that unfolds, won't we? Come in.
Hey.
- The place looks nice.
|- Yeah, it's real Spartan.
How are you? Five-by-five.
I'll interpret that as good.
Look, Gwendolyn Post, or whoever|she may be, had us all fooled.
Even Giles.
Yeah.
Well, you can't trust people.
|I should've learned that by now.
I realise this will sound funny coming from someone that just spent|a lot of time kicking your face, but you can trust me.
- Is that right?|- I know I kept secrets.
I didn't have a choice.
- I'm on your side.
|- I'm on my side.
And that's enough.
Not always.
Is that it? - Yeah, I guess.
|- All right.
Well, then I'll see ya.
Buffy? Yeah? Nothing.