Dead to Me (2019) s03e07 Episode Script

1
["WALKING IN THE SUNSHINE"
BY ELLA FITZGERALD PLAYING]
Walking in the sunshine ♪
Sing a little sunshine song ♪
Put a smile upon your face ♪
As if there's nothing wrong ♪
Think about a good time ♪
Oh, God.
Think about forgetting ♪
About your worries and your woes ♪
Walking in the sunshine ♪
Sing a little sunshine song ♪
La-la-la-la-la-de-oh! ♪
Whether the weather be rain or snow ♪
Pretending can make it real ♪
A snowy pasture ♪
A green and grassy field ♪
Walking in the sunshine ♪
Sing a little sunshine song ♪
Ah, put a smile ♪
[RETCHES]
[GASPS]
Aww, fuck!
[DOCTOR] Well, congratulations.
You're four and a half months pregnant.
How is this even possible?
I am a thousand years old.
I mean, yeah, I I
felt things, but I
I just thought it was menopause.
Menopause and pregnancy
share some similar things.
- So that's understandable.
- A nightmare.
What?
Well, the great news
is everyone's healthy.
Tests and baby look good.
Would you like to know the sex?
I would like to go back in
time and not have the sex.
Jen, I understand this is a shock,
but it's also kind of a miracle.
Do you know how many women would
kill to get pregnant at your age?
[UNDER BREATH] Oh, fuck!
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUDY] Hi, Dr. Ashmani!
Judy, hi.
Hi. I come bearing gifts.
Well, gift. I don't wanna oversell.
Oh! Is that my boat?
- Hope so.
- [LAUGHS] Oh.
It's my first seascape, and
I painted it from memory.
- Also, I've been eating a lot of pot, so
- [LAUGHS]
Well, it's beautiful and very kind.
- Thank you.
- Thank you for everything.
I just wanted you to know.
You were so right. I couldn't
have gone through all that alone.
Oh, well, I'm just
glad there was a friend
who was able to be there for you.
Me too.
I wish I could figure
a way to repay her.
Well, maybe after you're
finished with your treatment.
I thought I was finished.
Well, we still have
to go back in two weeks
and test you to see if you
responded well to the chemo.
Oh, yeah, right. I mean, I think
I probably responded pretty good
'cause I feel pretty good.
That's great, but odds are you
will still need another round.
Yeah, I'm not really an odds person.
I don't really believe in 'em.
Okay. Well, good for you.
Honestly, a lot of my patients
go in hard on Google, and
that can be very discouraging.
No, yeah.
I feel like what I don't
know can't hurt me. Right?
What am I gonna do? [SOBS]
Is there
- Do you have a partner in the picture?
- Oh, gross.
Don't say partner. I'm not
running a small business.
I have a fucking human being in my body.
And the person that is
responsible for this is in rehab.
That's rough.
So, I think I'm gonna hold
off on any big announcements
until I'm finally showing.
- [DOCTOR] Hmm.
- [JEN] Hmm?
- [DOCTOR GRUNTS]
- Am I?
- [DOCTOR GROANS]
- No.
[DOCTOR] Mm-hmm.
[GASPS]
Do you know of a Marshalls nearby?
[SIGHS]
- Uh, hey.
- [JUDY] Hey!
Oh, somebody got a new poncho.
Yep, somebody did. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, no, I I just saw
it, and I just thought,
"I'm gonna I'm
gonna get that poncho."
"And I'm gonna I'm
gonna wear that poncho."
Yeah, wear that poncho.
- What's, uh, this all about?
- [EXHALES]
Okay, it's just a little something
to say thank you for helping
me get through the chemo.
You don't have to thank me for
helping you get through chemo.
I can thank you if I wanna thank you.
I wanted to take you somewhere fun.
But I know you have work. So, I
figured why not bring the party to us?
[JEN GASPS]
- Ta-da!
- Oh!
It's a wine tasting!
Wine.
Yeah, these were all of your
favorites from the vineyards in Napa.
[INHALES] That's so thoughtful
of you, honey. It's, um
[CLICKS TONGUE] Uh
- What's wrong?
- I'm doing dry January.
- It's October.
- You know what I mean.
Do I?
[GASPS] Or does this have
something to do with Ben?
- What? No!
- Like you're inspired.
- It has nothing I'm not inspired.
- Yeah, like, sober in solidarity.
You know, you did say
his name a couple times.
- [JEN] Eww!
- What?
No, I am
I just, you know, I really wanna
focus on my health right now.
Just try to make smarter choices
about what I put in my body.
Yeah, I hear you. I mean, I
shouldn't be drinking either.
But I do get two weeks, no bad news.
So, I figured I'll live
in that vacuum of joy,
and wine is helpful there.
Yeah, it is.
Hey, you know, I got a
lot going on today, so
- I know. Your showing.
- What?
- You're showing the house.
- [GASPS] Yes.
Yep, yep, yep. I'm showin' a house.
That is correctamundo.
Um, yeah, I must have blocked
it out because, you know,
the client is a pain in the a
And this is from a trip when
Jeff and I went to the Badlands,
which is a real misnomer
because it's great there.
Well, it'll be great in your new house.
- Or in this box forever.
- [HUFFS]
I just don't understand why
we have to stage this place.
It's already in great shape.
Yeah, it's just there's a
lot of personality in here
- [CHUCKLES]
- and guns!
Guns are a selling point in Orange
County, and personality is good.
[UNDER BREATH] It depends
on the personality.
Okay [SIGHS]
I'll put 'em in my safe
room. You know [SCOFFS]
I just don't understand
why Jeff insists on selling.
He didn't want kids. So, this
house was kind of my baby.
But you know, here's the thing, Karen,
is that sometimes you just
have to accept the fact
that this is your life,
and you need to fucking deal,
no matter how much you wish things
were very, very, very different.
Jesus Christ! What is that smell?
- Oh, it's my Yankee Candle collection.
- [GASPS]
Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?
Bona fide wick-head here.
- Great.
- Wanna sniff?
- No, thanks.
- Orange dreamsicle.
Nope! [SNIFFS]
- [KAREN] But
- Oh, no. [GULPS]
Are you are you feeling okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Something's different about you.
- No, it isn't.
- Hey, there.
- Hey!
- [JUDY] Oh!
- I know what it is.
What?
[TENSE MUSIC BUILDS, FADES]
Your poncho.
Isn't it great?
- [CLICKS TONGUE] Yep.
- So roomy.
- What you smugglin' in there?
- Nothing.
Hey! Be careful with that.
That's from HomeGoods.
Hi. What you doing here?
Oh, I thought maybe you
guys might get hungry, so
Actually, I am hungry, so
whatcha whatcha got there?
- Oh, Gorgonzola and chorizo.
- No.
[JUDY] No?
[JEN GULPS] [EXHALES]
Okay.
[GAGS] I just need some air.
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
- [BEN] Jen!
- [GASPS]
Hey.
Jesus fucking Christ. What the
[PEREZ] What am I looking at?
That is Jen Harding's kid
driving a banged-up Jeep
in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You mean the right
place at the right time
to be our hit-and-run suspect?
[CHUCKLES] Right and
wrong are subjective.
I mean, what's wrong for him is right
Yes, that's what I mean.
[PEREZ] All right, hold on.
You think the Harding
kid hit his own mother?
That doesn't make any sense.
Okay, at first, I didn't think so
either, but we know Charlie Harding
was driving Steve Wood's
car when he went missing.
Now he's driving this one?
Come on. What are the odds?
Pretty low, but why would
he wanna hurt his own mother?
Maybe he wanted to hurt Judy Hale.
Look, she was in the car
that killed his father.
So was Steve Wood. Look
what happened to him.
Steve Wood's murder didn't
have anything to do with this.
How how do you know?
- I don't.
- [CLATTERING]
[NICK] Charlie had the motive.
Not to mention, he was in the house
with the possible murder weapon.
What murder weapon?
The wooden bird.
[PEREZ] Hmm.
[CHEWING]
You never heard back from
Agent Moranis about that, huh?
Mm-mm. No, no. No word on the bird.
Yeah, yeah.
- I wonder if I should go follow up.
- No.
We should bring the kid in.
I'll track down Mrs. Harding.
- Great. Let's go.
- No, I I should go alone.
You know, try and talk
to her woman-to-woman.
Uh, you try and isolate
the plates on that footage.
What?
Nothing.
Ah! It's such a nice
surprise to see you!
Yes, big surprise. So many surprises.
I, um I thought you were in rehab.
Oh, I was. Just, uh, they
sprung me loose. [CHUCKLES]
And now I'm, uh, at that step
where I'm making my amends.
- Aww, great.
- Oh. You don't that's not necessary.
Oh.
And I'm I'm also here to say goodbye.
- What? What? Where are you going?
- Goodbye?
Uh [SIGHS]
I gotta get back to my life up north.
My practice, my son
who's in college now,
so he doesn't really, you know,
really care about Dada. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, no, no, of course.
[BEN] Yeah.
But also to be honest, there's a reason
why I left Laguna in the first place.
A lot of bad memories here.
Yeah, I hear ya.
Yeah, and I know I can't
make my amends to Him, but I can to you.
So [CLEARS THROAT]
[INHALES]
I'm sorry for every
uncomfortable thing I
ever put you through.
- No problem. Seriously, all is forgiven.
- What? No, no, not at all.
- All right? We good.
- Please. Yeah.
Really? 'Cause I, uh
There's actually more.
- Here. I have a list.
- [JUDY] No!
- No, you're fine. You're fine. [SCOFFS]
- No need. Come on. It's us.
Wow. Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Thank you. Thanks. God,
I was nervous. [CHUCKLES]
You did great.
You did.
So we're really gonna miss you, Ben.
- Yeah.
- [JUDY] Mm-hmm.
Are you sure that you really need to go?
If I I would only be staying
out of obligation to my parents.
And so there's not really
I don't know, you know?
There's not really any other
reason to be here.
[EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [JEN] Hmm?
- [JUDY] Hmm.
- [JEN GRUNTS]
- What?
I mean, you gotta go, you gotta go.
- Might not have to go if you felt like
- He has to go.
- people wanted you to stay.
- Kids, things.
His kid isn't here. He
said he's in college.
- He's cranky as fuck. He doesn't care.
- It's Okay.
[BEN] Right. [CHUCKLES] Uh, cool.
Well, I, um
I'm gonna go. I got, um
Listen. I love you both.
And, I mean, you guys are so sweet
and so nice to me and
so kind, and I hope that,
you know, you know how much
that's that's meant to me.
[JUDY] Aww.
- [JEN CLEARS THROAT]
- We love you. Hmm?
- [JEN] Hmm.
- [BEN] Oh.
Aww.
- [GROANS] So sweet of you.
- What?
[BEN SIGHS]
All right, well, um, yeah. See ya later.
Yeah, okay. Later gator.
- In a while cr Bye.
- [BEN SIGHS]
- I'll walk you out.
- Okay.
- Ooh! You all right?
- Bye.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
[JUDY] Why didn't you say anything?
- What are you talking about?
- [SIGHS] The pregnant pause.
- He was waiting for you to say something.
- To say what?
That you want him to stay,
that you have feelings for him.
Eww, I don't have feel No, I don't.
Ugh, please. You said his name
twice when we were tripping.
Um, I'm sorry, I was tripping.
Okay, you fell on his dick twice too.
- Really?
- Yeah.
How many things you do twice
before you admit that you love him?
I don't love him.
I don't believe you.
I I can't even I
can't even look at him, okay?
I killed his fucking brother.
- His fucking brother killed your husband.
- Yeah, well, he doesn't know that.
Well, maybe he should.
What if we just told him
the truth about everything?
Don't you think he could forgive you?
No, I absolutely do not think that.
Well, you forgave him
for the hit-and-run.
Okay, that is not the same.
You can't tit-for-tat that.
We tit-for-tatted.
I told you the truth about Ted,
then, yeah, we went
through a rough patch
where you threatened to shoot
me and then you killed Steve,
but you were honest.
And look at us now.
Yeah, yeah, look at us. You have cancer,
and I'm about three seconds
away from being arrested.
Okay, you don't know that.
But I know that no matter how much
shit we put each other through,
somehow we're still best friends, right?
Right.
Because we tell each
other the truth, right?
No, we do.
[GASPS] I'm pregnant.
What? No.
Yeah, why do you think I've been
wearing this stupid-ass poncho?
Just there it is.
Oh, my God! With ?
Yeah. Yeah, it's really fucked.
I'm so sorry.
No. No, that is
How far along are you?
Just too far.
Wow.
That is amazing. I mean,
I can't even believe it.
- It's, like, amazing.
- Okay
Judy, you are allowed
to say how you feel.
Yeah, no, I am. I am.
I mean, it is amazing.
Okay.
I just, um
- I just need a minute.
- [SIGHS]
- I I know. Ju Judy, can we please
- I need a minute.
Okay. Oh, shit.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [GASPS]
- [HENRY] Mom?
- What?
[HENRY] Charlie threw the iPad at me.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
Fuck!
Come here. Are you okay?
- [HENRY] Yeah.
- [JEN] Do you need a hug?
[HENRY] Okay.
[EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
[STEVE] I love you.
[JUDY] I love you.
And you too.
- [ENGINE REVVING]
- [SCREAMS]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- [STEVE] What happened?
[JUDY] I really thought that I was
gonna have a baby and a family.
- [JEN] What were you thinking?
- I was throwing it to him.
It's not my fault that
he has no reflexes.
You guys are too old for this shit.
- I am too old for this shit.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHS]
Shit.
Who is it?
You're telling me that's not Charlie?
No, it is, but I am telling you
that he wasn't driving the
car when it hit us, okay?
No, I've never been
more confused in my life.
The point is he didn't hit
us. You just have to trust me.
Why would I do that?
Because
Because I know who did.
- Who did?
- I'm not telling.
Jesus Christ, woman!
Do you know how many hours we've
put into trying to solve this thing?
Yes, a lot, and now you can stop.
Oh, and you can stop telling
me what I can and can't do.
I'm not pressing charges,
so it doesn't matter anyway.
I need to know who did it.
- And I said I can't tell you!
- [HUFFS]
Then maybe Charlie
won't mind opening up.
Ben. It was Ben Wood.
- What?
- [EXHALES] It was an accident.
- It was a hit-and-run.
- Yeah, and he's sorry.
- Oh, he's sorry. Hmm?
- Yes, yes. He just made amends.
Oh, so he'd been drinking.
No.
I I don't know, okay?
Just please, just promise me
that you won't do anything to him.
I can't do that. I'm not your
goddamn sorority sister. I'm a cop.
- Please. He's been through enough already.
- [SCOFFS]
I just wanna let him go.
And so what? You don't wanna
press charges out of guilt?
No.
- Maybe, but mostly, I don't
- Because you are thinking
he's gonna take it easy on you
once he finds out what you did?
No.
- You just don't understand.
- Then explain it to me.
[SIGHS]
I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant, okay?
So, what's that got
to do with Oh, shit.
[JEN SIGHS] Hey.
You chilly?
- Can I have your poncho?
- [LAUGHS]
You can have anything you want.
- There.
- Thanks.
I'm so sorry, Judy.
Don't be sorry. You're
not having a baby at me.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
be having one at all.
[SCOFFS] Just
- I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
- Yes, you do.
No, barely.
I mean, Ted. Ted did
everything. And, um
I mean, he was a shit
husband, but he was
he was a he was a good mom.
So are you.
You're a better mother than I
am. I mean, everybody knows it.
- Stop.
- [CHUCKLES]
I can't do this alone, Jude.
If you wanna repay me for
helping you through chemo,
please help me through this.
What about Ben?
W-what about him?
You have to tell him.
No, I can't.
That would be, like, entrapment.
- Hmm. No.
- Maybe not entrapment. I wait.
- I don't feel that is the real meaning.
- Is it entrapment?
Anyway, it's it
just wouldn't be fair.
He deserves to know.
- All of it.
- [SIGHS]
And then maybe he can process it,
and, I mean, that'll
take a minute, but
maybe you guys can have a life together.
I already have a life.
And a partner.
Ooh, I hate that word.
- Yeah, it's gross.
- Yeah.
But it applies here.
[EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[TED ON TABLET] Hey, Charlie
Brown, what do you think?
What's Mommy got in her belly?
[CHARLIE] Is it a bagel?
[JEN] I think he just thinks I'm fat.
[TED] No. What do you
think, Char? Is it a baby?
[JEN] Do you wanna be a big brother?
[INHALES SHARPLY, SIGHS]
[SHUDDERS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Hi.
- [JUDY] Hi.
Can we talk?
- [NICK] Hey, can I ask you a question?
- [SIGHS] Sure.
- You think I'm stupid?
- [PEREZ] Uh, what?
I followed up with Agent Moranis.
I know you never sent him the bird.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Nick, look. I can I can explain
No, no, you don't have to.
I know what's going on here.
You do?
[TENSE MUSIC BUILDS]
You think I'm a bad
cop. You think I'm crazy.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, I don't.
Then what other explanation is there?
Every time I have a
theory about anything,
you just make this face, like
- No, I don't.
- You just did.
- You can't stop it. [SPLUTTERS]
- I'm not. I did not.
- What? What do you no.
- You just did it.
That's what you do. Look
I was fucked up after I lost my partner,
and you took a chance on me when
when no one else
would, and I'm grateful.
Because you know this
job, it's [SIGHS]
it's all I really care about.
- [PEREZ] Me too.
- But I'm tired of being sidelined.
[INHALES] I know you're
a good cop, but I am too.
And I deserve to be treated like it.
You owe me that.
You're right.
I do.
[CHARLIE AND HENRY LAUGHING]
[CHARLIE] He dropped his ice cream.
I don't know what was going on here.
- [SHOUTING ON TABLET]
- [LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING] Okay, that was good.
[HENRY LAUGHING] Oh, my gosh.
What are you guys What
are you guys watching?
Can I see?
- You wanna see?
- Yeah!
- Think fast.
- [SHOUTS, GASPS]
Oh, you wanna
[CHUCKLES] Reflexes?
Think fast! [LAUGHS]
- You think fast too. You think fast too.
- [LAUGHING]
[JEN] I'll get you so bad.
- Oh, I'm gonna get you.
- [CHARLIE] Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
- [LAUGHING]
- [JEN] Stop!
- [CHARLIE] Wait.
- Right behind the ear!
- [CHARLIE] Stop that. Stop! Stop!
- You did! Stop hitting me. You stop it!
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [JEN LAUGHS]
[CHARLIE AND HENRY LAUGHING, CHATTERING]
Hey, where have you been?
Finding the best way to repay you.
- Judy, I thought we discussed our terms.
- I know.
[INHALES] But odds are that I might not
always be able to be here for you
in the way that I wish that I could.
What are you talking about? Odds?
You know what I'm talking about.
Oh. [SCOFFS]
Come on. I got pregnant
at 47, okay? Fuck the odds.
- They don't apply to us.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, my God. Remind me to rip that
goddamn doorbell out. [EXHALES]
It's for you.
Hey.
- Hi.
- [BEN] Uh, I know I said goodbye already.
But Judy came by
and told me some things that I yeah.
[JEN HUFFS]
[BEN] Um,
and it all makes sense.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Now I know why you can barely
look at me most of the time.
You do?
Mm-hmm. Because every
time you look at me
[SIGHS] you see the
face of the man that
that killed your husband. [GASPS]
Oh.
[BEN] And I know Steve
isn't here to make amends.
- [JEN GRUNTS]
- So let me say I'm sorry for us both.
You don't have to apologize. [CHUCKLES]
You had nothing to do with it.
But I did.
Oh, hey!
Congrats again, Steverino.
Drunk again. Surprise, surprise.
Now you think you're gonna
drive, you fucking loser?
- Steve, don't.
- No!
- Hey, don't push her, you fucking bully.
- Stop, you guys.
Fine. Go kill somebody, you
piece of shit. See if I care.
I know you don't.
I feel sorry for you.
You know who I feel sorry for?
That kid.
It has to grow up with you as a
father, 'cause I'd rather kill myself!
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [CRASHING]
[JUDY] We have to go back!
[STEVE] Drive the fucking car, stupid!
[HEARTBEAT THUMPING]
- What happened?
- [GASPING] We we hit a
We hit a deer.
They were driving me home.
Oh, my God.
I would have told you, but I
thought Ben should know first.
I just think it's fair that
everybody know everything.
Yeah.
I don't want any secrets between us.
Me neither. Me neither.
Ben
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
- [GASPS]
- [CHARLIE] What's going on?
- What are you doing here?
My job.
- [BEN] Hey, Nick.
- [PEREZ HUFFS]
Is everything okay?
You're under arrest for the hit-and-run
of Jen Harding and Judy Hale.
- [EXHALES] What?
- [HANDCUFFS RATCHETING]
I'm sorry.
[NICK] You have the right to
remain silent. Anything you say can
and will be used against
you in a court of law.
- You have the right to an attorney.
- [CAR DOORS CLOSE]
Oh, fuck.
[SIGHS]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CAT MEOWS]