Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s03e07 Episode Script
X Marks the Ed/From Here to Ed
1
BR-BR-BR-BR-BR
Eddy: AHH THIS IS
THE LIFE, HUH, BOYS?
WE CATCH US SOME FISH,
SELL THEM TO A FISH BUYER GUY,
HE HANDS OVER A BIG WAD OF CASH,
AND BINGO! WE'RE RICH.
GOT ANY 8s?
I HARDLY THINK WE'LL
BE CATCHING ANYTHING
IN ED'S BACKYARD POND, EDDY.
OH!
FISH! FISH!
Eddy: IT'S MINE!
REEL IT IN, ED!
Ed: IT'S A FIGHTER, EDDY!
OH, PLEASE. NO CREATURE
COULD SURVIVE IN THIS POND.
IF IT'S NOT OF THIS
WORLD, IT'S MINE!
UGH! UGH!
Edd and Eddy: WHAT IS THAT?!
Ed: OH, GOODY, GOODY!
IT'S MY FREEZER EXPERIMENT!
I WONDERED WHERE SARAH HID IT.
WELL, THAT'S A KEEPER!
Edd and Eddy: NO, ED!
All: AAH! WHOA!
WHO BROUGHT THE TARTAR SAUCE?
Eddy: ED!
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE
IF YOU KEEP WRECKING EVERYTHING?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
GET YOUR FINGER OFF MY HEAD, ED.
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
SOMETHING THAT IS RED.
WHAT'S THAT?
I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE, EDDY!
I FORGET WHERE.
LET'S RUB IT!
Ed: THERE YOU GO. HA HA HA.
Edd: REALLY, ED,
THAT'S SO UNSANITARY.
MAY I HAVE A LOOK?
WHY, EDDY, IT'S NOTHING
MORE THAN A PIMPLE.
CONGRATULATIONS!
IT SEEMS PUBERTY HAS OPENED
YOUR DOOR TO ADULTHOOD.
I'M TOO HANDSOME TO
HAVE ZITS, DOUBLE-D!
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SEES ME?
OH, PLEASE, EDDY.
PIMPLES ARE A NATURAL
PHASE OF GROWING UP
AS NORMAL AS MOTHER'S
CHARCOAL FILTER SHOE INSERTS.
Ed: I MAKE A GAME
OUT OF MINE, EDDY,
BECAUSE I'M PRODUCTIVE.
YOU CAN PLAY CONNECT-THE-DOT.
SEE? IT'S A BOAT.
Jonny: OK. I'M WATCHING, PLANK.
HEY, JONNY! COME
AND LOOK AT EDDY!
AAH!
ED?
Edd: DON'T YOU THINK
YOU SHOULD RESPECT.
EDDY'S SENSITIVITY
TO THIS MATTER?
Ed: NOT A PROBLEM.
MUM'S THE WORD, DOUBLE-D.
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? STOP THAT!
DO NOT LOOK AT EDDY, JONNY.
HEY, EDDY!
[GASPS]
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
I, UH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHA
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
IS THAT A ZIT?
UH, NO.
YOU LOOK LIKE A
LIGHTHOUSE, EDDY.
HA HA HA! OR EVEN A
ONE-HUMPED CAMEL, HUH, JONNY?
PLANK SAYS, "EDDY
SHOULD JOIN A CIRCUS!"
HA HA HA HA!
YEAH. EDDY'S ALREADY
PITCHED A TENT ON HIS HEAD.
STOP IT, YOU TWO!
CAN'T YOU SEE EDDY'S
HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME WITH
EDDY?
[KNOCK KNOCK]
EDDY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
JUST ONE MINUTE.
HEY, GUYS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
DAD'S RUG REALLY
DOES THE TRICK, HUH?
Ed: ATTACK THE WIG!
ED!
YOU'RE VIOLATING A HAIRPIECE!
WIGS SCARE ME, DOUBLE-D.
Edd: EDDY, WE'RE WASTING TIME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
I HAVE A COSMETIC REMEDY
THAT SHOULD HIDE
YOUR PAPULE PROBLEM.
OH, GREAT. NOW I
GOT TO WEAR MAKEUP?
Edd: I'VE CONSTRUCTED
A SPECIAL BIB.
IN CASE OF SPILLAGE.
[HUMS]
NICE.
LET US BEGIN, SHALL WE?
THIS FOUNDATION SHOULD CONCEAL
YOUR SMALL
INFLAMMATORY SWELLING.
Eddy: I FEEL LIKE A SISSY.
WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
IT'S HARDLY
NOTICEABLE, ISN'T IT, ED?
WELL?
I CLAIM THIS PLANE
IN THE NAME OF ED
BRINGER OF BACON.
Eddy: OUT OF THE
WAY! LET ME SEE!
IT GREW! THE ZIT'S
GETTING BIGGER, DOUBLE-D!
CHECK IT OUT!
I DON'T KNOW WHICH
HEAD TO LOOK AT!
Girl: WHAT'S HAPPENING, GUYS?
ROLF MUST SEE THIS
BLEMISHED OUTCAST, YES?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, ROLF!
WE'RE MAKING A KILLING, PLANK!
OH, ROLF HAS SEEN THIS MANY
TIMES IN THE OLD COUNTRY.
EDDY, YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.
I THINK I SAW IT MOVE!
THIS IS WHERE I'M
GONNA BUST A GUT!
[ALL LAUGHING]
HOLY COW!
Kevin: DON'T GET TOO
CLOSE. IT MIGHT POP!
GEE, PLANK, I'M NOT SURE IF WE
CAN TAKE EDDY OUT ON THE ROAD.
BOY, EDDY, YOUR ZIT'S
REALLY GETTING BIG!
ALL THIS ATTENTION SEEMS TO
BE IRRITATING EDDY'S BLEMISH.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
EDDY, WAIT!
Kevin: THERE GOES
THE UGLY DORKLING.
[LAUGHTER]
ARE WE JUST ABOUT DONE?
PLEASE LEAVE IN AN
ORDERLY MANNER.
IN ALL MY YEARS,
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH
DEPLORABLE BEHAVIOR
OVER ONE'S
ELEVATION OF THE SKIN!
MAN, EDDY'S GOT A REAL
HONKER, HUH, DOUBLE DWEEB?
TOOTLE-OO, DOUBLE-D.
NOT YOU, ED.
Rolf: ED BOYS!
ROLF HAS GREAT SYMPATHY
FOR THE TWO-HEADED OGRE.
ESCORT THE ED BOY
TO ROLF'S IN ONE HOUR.
YOU SHALL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!
Edd: EDDY? ROLF'S
GONNA HELP, EDDY.
EDDY?
ALLOW ME, DOUBLE-D.
ED'S GOING FISHING.
UM, ED?
HERE WE GO.
IT'S A WHOPPER, DOUBLE-D!
ROLF SCARES ME.
YOU CAN COUNT ON
ME FOR SUPPORT, EDDY.
Ed: WHO BROUGH
THE TARTAR SAUCE?
[CAMERAS CLICK]
Jonny: OVER HERE, WEIRDO!
NASTY.
GET A CLOSEUP, PLANK! WOO-HOO!
WAIT! YOU'RE ALL IN THE
WAY OF MY COMPETITION!
VULTURES!
Rolf: COME, MY PUSTULE FRIEND,
WE MUST BEGIN.
PLEASE, MARINATE IN THE LARD.
DON'T GO AWAY NOW.
I WISH I HAD A ZIT.
ED, YOU HAVE A
BOAT ON YOUR BACK.
MOVE!
ROLF REQUIRES YOUR ASSISTANCE.
Rolf: DOUBLE-D ED BOY,
MASSAGE THE SQUID.
HALF-WIT ED BOY,
GRATE THE TURNIP.
TODAY, ROLF WILL BE SHOWING YOU
HOW TO PREPARE
CARBUNCLE OF THE FLESH STEW.
[APPLAUSE]
AN ANCESTRAL RECIPE HANDED DOWN
THROUGH MANY
PIMPLY-FACED ELDERS.
WHERE IS THE SQUID?
RIGHT HERE, ROLF!
Rolf: STOP!
OH.
THANK YOU. NOW WE ADD
ONE SOFTENED SQUID AND STIR.
CAREFUL NOT TO BRUISE
THE FISH ENTRAILS.
GOOD, YES?
LAST, WE ADD THE
PICKLED TOWEL OF MIRTH
AND LET SIMMER FOR
14 DAYS AND 14 NIGHTS.
Eddy: WHAT?! 14 DAYS?!
DO NOT FESTER, AS ROLF
HAS THOUGHT AHEAD
AND PRE-MADE THIS STUFF.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE
ANOINTMENT OF THE STEW, ED BOY?
WILL YOU HURRY UP? MY
ARMS ARE FALLING ASLEEP.
OKEY-DOKEY.
BE VERY STILL.
AWAY WITH YOU,
PROTUBERANCE OF THE FLESH!
Eddy: AAH!
WHAT HAPPENED?
SILENCE! WE MUST BE QUICK!
[SCREAMING]
EDDY'S SO LUCKY.
DO YOU THINK I CAN HAVE A
CHICKEN PECK AT MY HEAD, DOUBLE-D?
GOOD-BYE, AS YOU MAY NO
SEE YOUR FRIEND FOR 24 HOURS.
ROLF WAITS NOW.
ROLF, WE'RE HERE
TO PICK UP EDDY.
EDDY? REMEMBER?
YOU HELPED HIM WITH
HIS PIMPLE PROBLEM?
OH, SURE!
UGH!
FOLLOW ROLF.
YOU SHALL SEE THE
MIRACLE OF THE STEW.
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS, ED.
YOU HAVE HEALED WELL, ED BOY.
YOUR HEAD RESEMBLES
WHAT IT ONCE WAS.
[SMALLER VOICE] WHA
HAPPENED TO MY HEAD?
IT IS SO PUNY!
THIS IS WORTHY OF A NOBEL PRIZE!
WHAT'D YOU DO TO ME, YOU QUACK?
QUACK? I AM ROLF.
YOU'RE A QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
I AM NOT A DUCK. I AM ROLF!
HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHAT INGREDIENTS
WOULD REACT IN SUCH A WAY
AS TO COME TO THIS CONCLUSION?
WHAT?
Ed: MY TURN FOR SHRINKAGE, ROLF!
FIX ME!
TELL ME!
SHRINK ME!
STAY BACK!
GET HIM!
Eddy: WAIT TILL I GE
MY HANDS ON YOU!
FIX MY HEAD, YOU QUACK!
Ed: HA HA HA HA! HE'S STRONG!
HA HA HA HA HA!
GEE WILLIKERS, ARE
THOSE PENGUINS?
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, GIRLY!
YOU'RE IN THE LAND
OF SNOW AND ESKIMOS,
AND HOW DO YOU GET AROUND IN THIS
FROZEN FOOD SECTION OF THE WORLD?
ON ED'S POLAR SLED RIDE!
THANKFULLY, MOTHER BUYS
ECO-FRIENDLY DETERGENT.
HIS BARK IS BIGGER
THAN HIS BITE.
DARN HUSKIES.
25 CENTS AND RIDE THROUGH
THE NORTHERN LIGHT BULB.
WEE! I LOVE SLEIGH RIDES!
LET'S SIT UP FRONT, PLANK.
MOVE IT, YOU MUTT!
25, 50, 75
WHOA! WHOA! CAN I MUSH, EDDY?
YEAH, YEAH. JUS
DON'T GET ANY ON ME, ED.
[PANTING]
Ed: MUSH!
LOOK AT ME!
I AM A MUSHER!
MUSH! HA HA HA HA!
OOPS. SORRY, KEVIN.
NO PROBLEM, DUDE.
HEY, WHO INVITED YOU?
Edd: ED! CAREFUL, THIS IS THE
DIRECT PATH OF OUR SLEIGH!
MUSH!
ED, TURN THE SLEIGH!
ED!
WHAT THE OH!
[SCREAMING]
Jonny: FAREWELL, CRUEL WORLD!
MY SIGN!
Jonny: MY LEGS!
MY IGLOO!
AWESOME.
YOU DID THAT ON
PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU?
I JUST GOT MY BALL, DORK.
ME AND PLANK WAN
OUR MONEY BACK.
MY COLORS ARE RUNNING, EDDY.
GIVE ME MY QUARTER!
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A BANK?
NO REFUNDS.
OH, GEE!
AAH! OOF! AAH!
NICE.
COME ON, JIMMY.
WAIT UP, GUYS!
POLAR BEAR ATTACK!
Kevin: LATER, DORK.
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU,
I'D BE SWIMMING IN
JAWBREAKERS RIGHT NOW!
I HAVE NO IDEA WHA
YOU'RE DORKING ABOUT.
OH, YOU KNOW WHA
I'M DORKING ABOUT.
PUT IT BEHIND YOU, EDDY.
THIS WAS ALL JUST AN UNFORTUNATE
UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCE.
PICKLE?
HELLO. GOOD-BYE.
HELLO. GOOD-BYE.
Kevin: ROLF! QUIT SHOWING OFF.
AND PASS THE BALL
YOU OWE ME MONEY!
YOU'RE CRUISING FOR A BRUISING,
YOU LITTLE TWERP!
Eddy: WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
WELL, EDDY, WITH
THAT, I GUESS WE CAN
WHO'S THAT? KEVIN?
YOU JARHEAD! YOU OWE ME A BUCK!
WHERE ARE YOU?
SHOW YOURSELF, YOU
Edd: UM, EDDY, KEVIN LEFT.
THAT'S IT! RUN, HIDE,
BUT I HOPE YOU'RE
A LIGHT SLEEPER
BECAUSE I'll BE ALL
OVER YOU LIKE A BAD ITCH.
IT'S WAR, I TELL YOU!
Ed: SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, EDDY.
I REFUSE TO PARTAKE
IN GAMES OF VENGEANCE.
OH, REALLY?
HOW ABOUT I BLOW THE WHISTLE
ON WHAT'S UNDER THA
HAT OF YOURS, DOUBLE-D?
BUT YOU WOULDN'
DARE, WOULD YOU?
[WHISTLING]
Eddy: HA HA HA HA!
REPORT, DOUBLE-D.
KEVIN IS AT LEISURE,
UNSUSPECTING,
AND QUITE VULNERABLE, EDDY.
A SITTING DUCK.
WHEN ED SHOWS UP,
WE'LL AMBUSH THE SAP.
YOU STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER
HEARD OF CAMOUFLAGE?
DON'T TOY WITH ME, EDDY.
I GOT THE STUFF TO
THROW AT KEVIN, EDDY!
THAT-A BOY, ED!
DOUBLE-D, TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS!
Edd: ED, WHERE DID
YOU EXHUME THIS FROM?
BRIC-A-BRAC FROM
UNDER MY BED, DOUBLE-D.
ED
DO YOU KNOW THERE'S
A TURTLE ON YOUR HEAD?
YEP!
AHA! THE ULTIMATE
IMPLEMENT FOR HUMILIATION!
NAW, THAT'S MY LUNCH
FROM SCHOOL LAST YEAR.
P.U.!
IT'S PERFECT!
OOH! OOH!
[QUACK QUACK]
LET'S MOVE OUT.
OH, LIKE THAT REALLY
MEANT ANYTHING.
Eddy: THERE HE IS.
I KNOW AN UNDERGROUND ROUTE.
ED, EDDY'S OVERZEALOUS ATTEMP
TO REFORM THIS
ERRONEOUS ALTERCATION
IS DESTINED TO FAIL.
[PASSES GAS]
NAPKIN, PLEASE.
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER.
HA HA HA HA!
[SPLASHING AND GURGLING]
THAT WAS CLOSE!
CLOSE? WE'RE AT THE SAME
LOCATION AS WHEN WE STARTED.
WE WENT IN A COMPLETE
CIRCLE PAST HEAVEN.
THAT'S TO CONFUSE HIM,
JUST IN CASE HE SAW US.
DUCK, YOU IDIOTS!
Ed: QUACK!
SUBURBS ARE WEIRD.
GOOD ONE, ED.
HE'S SURE TO BE ON TO US NOW.
LOOK AT HIM.
HE THINKS HE'S SO SMART.
OH, I GOT AN INKLING.
HEY, JONNY.
WHOA!
WHAT A FREAK.
OK. LET'S DO IT.
DO WHAT?
WE'VE TREKKED
HALF THIS CUL-DE-SAC
AND ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING.
TAKE THIS AND NAIL
KEVIN RIGHT IN THE HEAD.
ME? YEAH, YOU.
HE'LL KNOW WE'RE UP TO SOMETHING
IF ME OR ED GO.
I CAN'T JUST GO UP
TO KEVIN AND HIT HIM.
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH
YOUR MISGUIDED ADVENTURE.
GO ON, DOUBLE-D. HA HA HA HA!
YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
HA HA! STOP IT!
HA HA! OOH, I'M TICKLISH!
HEE HEE! WAIT! PLEASE!
HA HA HA HA HA!
Kevin: HEY, DOUBLE-D.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY, HOMBRE?
WHY, I'M JUST DANDY.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
LOOKS LIKE YOUR
LUNCH IS LEAKING.
OH, UM, IS THAT A
WALDRON RATCHET?
YEAH, I JUST GOT IT.
IT TORQUES THE BOLT SO
THE SLIPPAGE IS THE RIGHT
POUND PER WHERE'D HE GO?
DORK.
OH, DEAR.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO
[KEVIN WHISTLING]
DID YOU SEE THAT?
KEVIN TAMPERED WITH OUR AMMO!
I'M COVERED IN FILTH.
OW. CONTAMINATED LUNCHEON.
Eddy: DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, STINKY.
WE'LL GET HIM, RIGHT, ED?
Ed: I'M HUNGRY.
IS THAT A GIANT
Eddy: RIGHT THERE. HOLD IT!
LOOK AT HIM. PLOTTING
HIS NEXT MOVE AGAINST US.
WELL, HE'S IN FOR A SURPRISE
BECAUSE WE'RE HITTING HIM FIRST.
WHY DO I GET THE IMPRESSION
THAT KEVIN DOESN'
EVEN KNOW WE EXIST?
Kevin: COOL. SEE
YOU LATER, NAZZ.
Eddy: HURRY UP WITH
THE PANCAKE SYRUP, ED!
GOTCHA!
HE'LL RIDE RIGH
INTO THAT SYRUP,
SCREAM FOR HELP,
THEN BINGO! WE HIT HIM!
I ABHOR VIOLENCE, EDDY.
NOW YOU AND ED CAN HIT HIM.
FINE!
READY AND WAITING!
HERE HE COMES! HIDE!
EEK! I'M STUCK!
Eddy: GET HIM!
Ed: PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!
AUNT RUTHIE?
[WHISTLING]
MAN, HE'S CRAFTY!
DON'T BE SO MODEST, EDDY.
IT MUST HAVE TAKEN
YOU AT LEAST 10 SECONDS
TO COME UP WITH THIS.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
IF YOU'D HELPED, WE'D BE AT HOME
COMPLAINING ABOUT NOTHING TO DO.
OH, NOW IT'S MY FAULT.
YEAH. REALLY?
REALLY? YEAH.
YEAH, REALLY.
VERY WELL THEN.
SHALL WE PROCEED TO YOU
GETTING YOUR OWN WAY YET AGAIN?
AFTER YOU.
WAIT UP, GUYS!
[YAWN]
THIS IS SO SWEET, DOUBLE-D!
THANK YOU, EDDY.
NO ONE WOULD EVER
SUSPECT MOTHER NATURE
TO HARBOR A SPRING-LOADED
CIRCUS CANNON
AND BLOW INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
TO KINGDOM COME!
I'M RUBBING OFF
ON YOU, DOUBLE-D.
GET IN THE CANNON, ED.
KEVIN'S GONNA GET HI
WITH 100 POUNDS OF LUMP.
PUT THIS ON, ED.
IT'LL PROTECT THE TURTLE.
READY TO BE FIRED!
COME ON! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!
FIRE, DOUBLE-D!
DID I GO?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I ALREADY LIVE
WITH ENOUGH GUILT.
[EDDY BREATHING FAST]
BOOM GOES THE WEASEL!
AAH! AAH!
WHOA!
AAH!
[CRASH]
HE'S TOO GOOD.
[RING]
WHAT IS THIS?
I GIVE. YOU WIN.
LET'S CALL IT A DAY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, KEVIN, EDDY WOULD LIKE
TO EXTEND AN OLIVE BRANCH,
SO TO SPEAK.
YEAH. SO JUST SHAKE MY HAND.
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA
MAKE MY TURTLE CRY.
Eddy: YEOW!
Jonny: WOW! HEY, GUYS,
I'M INSIDE MY OWN HEAD!
FAR OUT, HUH?
WOO! TOO WEIRD! HA HA HA HA HA!
OH! OOH GET OUT HERE, KEVIN!
YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!
GIVE ME MY BUCK!
ED, EDD N EDDY!
BR-BR-BR-BR-BR
BR-BR-BR-BR-BR
Eddy: AHH THIS IS
THE LIFE, HUH, BOYS?
WE CATCH US SOME FISH,
SELL THEM TO A FISH BUYER GUY,
HE HANDS OVER A BIG WAD OF CASH,
AND BINGO! WE'RE RICH.
GOT ANY 8s?
I HARDLY THINK WE'LL
BE CATCHING ANYTHING
IN ED'S BACKYARD POND, EDDY.
OH!
FISH! FISH!
Eddy: IT'S MINE!
REEL IT IN, ED!
Ed: IT'S A FIGHTER, EDDY!
OH, PLEASE. NO CREATURE
COULD SURVIVE IN THIS POND.
IF IT'S NOT OF THIS
WORLD, IT'S MINE!
UGH! UGH!
Edd and Eddy: WHAT IS THAT?!
Ed: OH, GOODY, GOODY!
IT'S MY FREEZER EXPERIMENT!
I WONDERED WHERE SARAH HID IT.
WELL, THAT'S A KEEPER!
Edd and Eddy: NO, ED!
All: AAH! WHOA!
WHO BROUGHT THE TARTAR SAUCE?
Eddy: ED!
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE
IF YOU KEEP WRECKING EVERYTHING?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
GET YOUR FINGER OFF MY HEAD, ED.
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
SOMETHING THAT IS RED.
WHAT'S THAT?
I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE, EDDY!
I FORGET WHERE.
LET'S RUB IT!
Ed: THERE YOU GO. HA HA HA.
Edd: REALLY, ED,
THAT'S SO UNSANITARY.
MAY I HAVE A LOOK?
WHY, EDDY, IT'S NOTHING
MORE THAN A PIMPLE.
CONGRATULATIONS!
IT SEEMS PUBERTY HAS OPENED
YOUR DOOR TO ADULTHOOD.
I'M TOO HANDSOME TO
HAVE ZITS, DOUBLE-D!
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SEES ME?
OH, PLEASE, EDDY.
PIMPLES ARE A NATURAL
PHASE OF GROWING UP
AS NORMAL AS MOTHER'S
CHARCOAL FILTER SHOE INSERTS.
Ed: I MAKE A GAME
OUT OF MINE, EDDY,
BECAUSE I'M PRODUCTIVE.
YOU CAN PLAY CONNECT-THE-DOT.
SEE? IT'S A BOAT.
Jonny: OK. I'M WATCHING, PLANK.
HEY, JONNY! COME
AND LOOK AT EDDY!
AAH!
ED?
Edd: DON'T YOU THINK
YOU SHOULD RESPECT.
EDDY'S SENSITIVITY
TO THIS MATTER?
Ed: NOT A PROBLEM.
MUM'S THE WORD, DOUBLE-D.
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? STOP THAT!
DO NOT LOOK AT EDDY, JONNY.
HEY, EDDY!
[GASPS]
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
I, UH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHA
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
IS THAT A ZIT?
UH, NO.
YOU LOOK LIKE A
LIGHTHOUSE, EDDY.
HA HA HA! OR EVEN A
ONE-HUMPED CAMEL, HUH, JONNY?
PLANK SAYS, "EDDY
SHOULD JOIN A CIRCUS!"
HA HA HA HA!
YEAH. EDDY'S ALREADY
PITCHED A TENT ON HIS HEAD.
STOP IT, YOU TWO!
CAN'T YOU SEE EDDY'S
HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME WITH
EDDY?
[KNOCK KNOCK]
EDDY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
JUST ONE MINUTE.
HEY, GUYS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
DAD'S RUG REALLY
DOES THE TRICK, HUH?
Ed: ATTACK THE WIG!
ED!
YOU'RE VIOLATING A HAIRPIECE!
WIGS SCARE ME, DOUBLE-D.
Edd: EDDY, WE'RE WASTING TIME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
I HAVE A COSMETIC REMEDY
THAT SHOULD HIDE
YOUR PAPULE PROBLEM.
OH, GREAT. NOW I
GOT TO WEAR MAKEUP?
Edd: I'VE CONSTRUCTED
A SPECIAL BIB.
IN CASE OF SPILLAGE.
[HUMS]
NICE.
LET US BEGIN, SHALL WE?
THIS FOUNDATION SHOULD CONCEAL
YOUR SMALL
INFLAMMATORY SWELLING.
Eddy: I FEEL LIKE A SISSY.
WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
IT'S HARDLY
NOTICEABLE, ISN'T IT, ED?
WELL?
I CLAIM THIS PLANE
IN THE NAME OF ED
BRINGER OF BACON.
Eddy: OUT OF THE
WAY! LET ME SEE!
IT GREW! THE ZIT'S
GETTING BIGGER, DOUBLE-D!
CHECK IT OUT!
I DON'T KNOW WHICH
HEAD TO LOOK AT!
Girl: WHAT'S HAPPENING, GUYS?
ROLF MUST SEE THIS
BLEMISHED OUTCAST, YES?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, ROLF!
WE'RE MAKING A KILLING, PLANK!
OH, ROLF HAS SEEN THIS MANY
TIMES IN THE OLD COUNTRY.
EDDY, YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.
I THINK I SAW IT MOVE!
THIS IS WHERE I'M
GONNA BUST A GUT!
[ALL LAUGHING]
HOLY COW!
Kevin: DON'T GET TOO
CLOSE. IT MIGHT POP!
GEE, PLANK, I'M NOT SURE IF WE
CAN TAKE EDDY OUT ON THE ROAD.
BOY, EDDY, YOUR ZIT'S
REALLY GETTING BIG!
ALL THIS ATTENTION SEEMS TO
BE IRRITATING EDDY'S BLEMISH.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
EDDY, WAIT!
Kevin: THERE GOES
THE UGLY DORKLING.
[LAUGHTER]
ARE WE JUST ABOUT DONE?
PLEASE LEAVE IN AN
ORDERLY MANNER.
IN ALL MY YEARS,
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH
DEPLORABLE BEHAVIOR
OVER ONE'S
ELEVATION OF THE SKIN!
MAN, EDDY'S GOT A REAL
HONKER, HUH, DOUBLE DWEEB?
TOOTLE-OO, DOUBLE-D.
NOT YOU, ED.
Rolf: ED BOYS!
ROLF HAS GREAT SYMPATHY
FOR THE TWO-HEADED OGRE.
ESCORT THE ED BOY
TO ROLF'S IN ONE HOUR.
YOU SHALL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!
Edd: EDDY? ROLF'S
GONNA HELP, EDDY.
EDDY?
ALLOW ME, DOUBLE-D.
ED'S GOING FISHING.
UM, ED?
HERE WE GO.
IT'S A WHOPPER, DOUBLE-D!
ROLF SCARES ME.
YOU CAN COUNT ON
ME FOR SUPPORT, EDDY.
Ed: WHO BROUGH
THE TARTAR SAUCE?
[CAMERAS CLICK]
Jonny: OVER HERE, WEIRDO!
NASTY.
GET A CLOSEUP, PLANK! WOO-HOO!
WAIT! YOU'RE ALL IN THE
WAY OF MY COMPETITION!
VULTURES!
Rolf: COME, MY PUSTULE FRIEND,
WE MUST BEGIN.
PLEASE, MARINATE IN THE LARD.
DON'T GO AWAY NOW.
I WISH I HAD A ZIT.
ED, YOU HAVE A
BOAT ON YOUR BACK.
MOVE!
ROLF REQUIRES YOUR ASSISTANCE.
Rolf: DOUBLE-D ED BOY,
MASSAGE THE SQUID.
HALF-WIT ED BOY,
GRATE THE TURNIP.
TODAY, ROLF WILL BE SHOWING YOU
HOW TO PREPARE
CARBUNCLE OF THE FLESH STEW.
[APPLAUSE]
AN ANCESTRAL RECIPE HANDED DOWN
THROUGH MANY
PIMPLY-FACED ELDERS.
WHERE IS THE SQUID?
RIGHT HERE, ROLF!
Rolf: STOP!
OH.
THANK YOU. NOW WE ADD
ONE SOFTENED SQUID AND STIR.
CAREFUL NOT TO BRUISE
THE FISH ENTRAILS.
GOOD, YES?
LAST, WE ADD THE
PICKLED TOWEL OF MIRTH
AND LET SIMMER FOR
14 DAYS AND 14 NIGHTS.
Eddy: WHAT?! 14 DAYS?!
DO NOT FESTER, AS ROLF
HAS THOUGHT AHEAD
AND PRE-MADE THIS STUFF.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE
ANOINTMENT OF THE STEW, ED BOY?
WILL YOU HURRY UP? MY
ARMS ARE FALLING ASLEEP.
OKEY-DOKEY.
BE VERY STILL.
AWAY WITH YOU,
PROTUBERANCE OF THE FLESH!
Eddy: AAH!
WHAT HAPPENED?
SILENCE! WE MUST BE QUICK!
[SCREAMING]
EDDY'S SO LUCKY.
DO YOU THINK I CAN HAVE A
CHICKEN PECK AT MY HEAD, DOUBLE-D?
GOOD-BYE, AS YOU MAY NO
SEE YOUR FRIEND FOR 24 HOURS.
ROLF WAITS NOW.
ROLF, WE'RE HERE
TO PICK UP EDDY.
EDDY? REMEMBER?
YOU HELPED HIM WITH
HIS PIMPLE PROBLEM?
OH, SURE!
UGH!
FOLLOW ROLF.
YOU SHALL SEE THE
MIRACLE OF THE STEW.
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS, ED.
YOU HAVE HEALED WELL, ED BOY.
YOUR HEAD RESEMBLES
WHAT IT ONCE WAS.
[SMALLER VOICE] WHA
HAPPENED TO MY HEAD?
IT IS SO PUNY!
THIS IS WORTHY OF A NOBEL PRIZE!
WHAT'D YOU DO TO ME, YOU QUACK?
QUACK? I AM ROLF.
YOU'RE A QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
I AM NOT A DUCK. I AM ROLF!
HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHAT INGREDIENTS
WOULD REACT IN SUCH A WAY
AS TO COME TO THIS CONCLUSION?
WHAT?
Ed: MY TURN FOR SHRINKAGE, ROLF!
FIX ME!
TELL ME!
SHRINK ME!
STAY BACK!
GET HIM!
Eddy: WAIT TILL I GE
MY HANDS ON YOU!
FIX MY HEAD, YOU QUACK!
Ed: HA HA HA HA! HE'S STRONG!
HA HA HA HA HA!
GEE WILLIKERS, ARE
THOSE PENGUINS?
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, GIRLY!
YOU'RE IN THE LAND
OF SNOW AND ESKIMOS,
AND HOW DO YOU GET AROUND IN THIS
FROZEN FOOD SECTION OF THE WORLD?
ON ED'S POLAR SLED RIDE!
THANKFULLY, MOTHER BUYS
ECO-FRIENDLY DETERGENT.
HIS BARK IS BIGGER
THAN HIS BITE.
DARN HUSKIES.
25 CENTS AND RIDE THROUGH
THE NORTHERN LIGHT BULB.
WEE! I LOVE SLEIGH RIDES!
LET'S SIT UP FRONT, PLANK.
MOVE IT, YOU MUTT!
25, 50, 75
WHOA! WHOA! CAN I MUSH, EDDY?
YEAH, YEAH. JUS
DON'T GET ANY ON ME, ED.
[PANTING]
Ed: MUSH!
LOOK AT ME!
I AM A MUSHER!
MUSH! HA HA HA HA!
OOPS. SORRY, KEVIN.
NO PROBLEM, DUDE.
HEY, WHO INVITED YOU?
Edd: ED! CAREFUL, THIS IS THE
DIRECT PATH OF OUR SLEIGH!
MUSH!
ED, TURN THE SLEIGH!
ED!
WHAT THE OH!
[SCREAMING]
Jonny: FAREWELL, CRUEL WORLD!
MY SIGN!
Jonny: MY LEGS!
MY IGLOO!
AWESOME.
YOU DID THAT ON
PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU?
I JUST GOT MY BALL, DORK.
ME AND PLANK WAN
OUR MONEY BACK.
MY COLORS ARE RUNNING, EDDY.
GIVE ME MY QUARTER!
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A BANK?
NO REFUNDS.
OH, GEE!
AAH! OOF! AAH!
NICE.
COME ON, JIMMY.
WAIT UP, GUYS!
POLAR BEAR ATTACK!
Kevin: LATER, DORK.
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU,
I'D BE SWIMMING IN
JAWBREAKERS RIGHT NOW!
I HAVE NO IDEA WHA
YOU'RE DORKING ABOUT.
OH, YOU KNOW WHA
I'M DORKING ABOUT.
PUT IT BEHIND YOU, EDDY.
THIS WAS ALL JUST AN UNFORTUNATE
UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCE.
PICKLE?
HELLO. GOOD-BYE.
HELLO. GOOD-BYE.
Kevin: ROLF! QUIT SHOWING OFF.
AND PASS THE BALL
YOU OWE ME MONEY!
YOU'RE CRUISING FOR A BRUISING,
YOU LITTLE TWERP!
Eddy: WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
WELL, EDDY, WITH
THAT, I GUESS WE CAN
WHO'S THAT? KEVIN?
YOU JARHEAD! YOU OWE ME A BUCK!
WHERE ARE YOU?
SHOW YOURSELF, YOU
Edd: UM, EDDY, KEVIN LEFT.
THAT'S IT! RUN, HIDE,
BUT I HOPE YOU'RE
A LIGHT SLEEPER
BECAUSE I'll BE ALL
OVER YOU LIKE A BAD ITCH.
IT'S WAR, I TELL YOU!
Ed: SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
SLIDE ON THE SLOPE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, EDDY.
I REFUSE TO PARTAKE
IN GAMES OF VENGEANCE.
OH, REALLY?
HOW ABOUT I BLOW THE WHISTLE
ON WHAT'S UNDER THA
HAT OF YOURS, DOUBLE-D?
BUT YOU WOULDN'
DARE, WOULD YOU?
[WHISTLING]
Eddy: HA HA HA HA!
REPORT, DOUBLE-D.
KEVIN IS AT LEISURE,
UNSUSPECTING,
AND QUITE VULNERABLE, EDDY.
A SITTING DUCK.
WHEN ED SHOWS UP,
WE'LL AMBUSH THE SAP.
YOU STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER
HEARD OF CAMOUFLAGE?
DON'T TOY WITH ME, EDDY.
I GOT THE STUFF TO
THROW AT KEVIN, EDDY!
THAT-A BOY, ED!
DOUBLE-D, TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS!
Edd: ED, WHERE DID
YOU EXHUME THIS FROM?
BRIC-A-BRAC FROM
UNDER MY BED, DOUBLE-D.
ED
DO YOU KNOW THERE'S
A TURTLE ON YOUR HEAD?
YEP!
AHA! THE ULTIMATE
IMPLEMENT FOR HUMILIATION!
NAW, THAT'S MY LUNCH
FROM SCHOOL LAST YEAR.
P.U.!
IT'S PERFECT!
OOH! OOH!
[QUACK QUACK]
LET'S MOVE OUT.
OH, LIKE THAT REALLY
MEANT ANYTHING.
Eddy: THERE HE IS.
I KNOW AN UNDERGROUND ROUTE.
ED, EDDY'S OVERZEALOUS ATTEMP
TO REFORM THIS
ERRONEOUS ALTERCATION
IS DESTINED TO FAIL.
[PASSES GAS]
NAPKIN, PLEASE.
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER.
HA HA HA HA!
[SPLASHING AND GURGLING]
THAT WAS CLOSE!
CLOSE? WE'RE AT THE SAME
LOCATION AS WHEN WE STARTED.
WE WENT IN A COMPLETE
CIRCLE PAST HEAVEN.
THAT'S TO CONFUSE HIM,
JUST IN CASE HE SAW US.
DUCK, YOU IDIOTS!
Ed: QUACK!
SUBURBS ARE WEIRD.
GOOD ONE, ED.
HE'S SURE TO BE ON TO US NOW.
LOOK AT HIM.
HE THINKS HE'S SO SMART.
OH, I GOT AN INKLING.
HEY, JONNY.
WHOA!
WHAT A FREAK.
OK. LET'S DO IT.
DO WHAT?
WE'VE TREKKED
HALF THIS CUL-DE-SAC
AND ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING.
TAKE THIS AND NAIL
KEVIN RIGHT IN THE HEAD.
ME? YEAH, YOU.
HE'LL KNOW WE'RE UP TO SOMETHING
IF ME OR ED GO.
I CAN'T JUST GO UP
TO KEVIN AND HIT HIM.
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH
YOUR MISGUIDED ADVENTURE.
GO ON, DOUBLE-D. HA HA HA HA!
YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
HA HA! STOP IT!
HA HA! OOH, I'M TICKLISH!
HEE HEE! WAIT! PLEASE!
HA HA HA HA HA!
Kevin: HEY, DOUBLE-D.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY, HOMBRE?
WHY, I'M JUST DANDY.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
LOOKS LIKE YOUR
LUNCH IS LEAKING.
OH, UM, IS THAT A
WALDRON RATCHET?
YEAH, I JUST GOT IT.
IT TORQUES THE BOLT SO
THE SLIPPAGE IS THE RIGHT
POUND PER WHERE'D HE GO?
DORK.
OH, DEAR.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO
[KEVIN WHISTLING]
DID YOU SEE THAT?
KEVIN TAMPERED WITH OUR AMMO!
I'M COVERED IN FILTH.
OW. CONTAMINATED LUNCHEON.
Eddy: DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, STINKY.
WE'LL GET HIM, RIGHT, ED?
Ed: I'M HUNGRY.
IS THAT A GIANT
Eddy: RIGHT THERE. HOLD IT!
LOOK AT HIM. PLOTTING
HIS NEXT MOVE AGAINST US.
WELL, HE'S IN FOR A SURPRISE
BECAUSE WE'RE HITTING HIM FIRST.
WHY DO I GET THE IMPRESSION
THAT KEVIN DOESN'
EVEN KNOW WE EXIST?
Kevin: COOL. SEE
YOU LATER, NAZZ.
Eddy: HURRY UP WITH
THE PANCAKE SYRUP, ED!
GOTCHA!
HE'LL RIDE RIGH
INTO THAT SYRUP,
SCREAM FOR HELP,
THEN BINGO! WE HIT HIM!
I ABHOR VIOLENCE, EDDY.
NOW YOU AND ED CAN HIT HIM.
FINE!
READY AND WAITING!
HERE HE COMES! HIDE!
EEK! I'M STUCK!
Eddy: GET HIM!
Ed: PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!
AUNT RUTHIE?
[WHISTLING]
MAN, HE'S CRAFTY!
DON'T BE SO MODEST, EDDY.
IT MUST HAVE TAKEN
YOU AT LEAST 10 SECONDS
TO COME UP WITH THIS.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
IF YOU'D HELPED, WE'D BE AT HOME
COMPLAINING ABOUT NOTHING TO DO.
OH, NOW IT'S MY FAULT.
YEAH. REALLY?
REALLY? YEAH.
YEAH, REALLY.
VERY WELL THEN.
SHALL WE PROCEED TO YOU
GETTING YOUR OWN WAY YET AGAIN?
AFTER YOU.
WAIT UP, GUYS!
[YAWN]
THIS IS SO SWEET, DOUBLE-D!
THANK YOU, EDDY.
NO ONE WOULD EVER
SUSPECT MOTHER NATURE
TO HARBOR A SPRING-LOADED
CIRCUS CANNON
AND BLOW INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
TO KINGDOM COME!
I'M RUBBING OFF
ON YOU, DOUBLE-D.
GET IN THE CANNON, ED.
KEVIN'S GONNA GET HI
WITH 100 POUNDS OF LUMP.
PUT THIS ON, ED.
IT'LL PROTECT THE TURTLE.
READY TO BE FIRED!
COME ON! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!
FIRE, DOUBLE-D!
DID I GO?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I ALREADY LIVE
WITH ENOUGH GUILT.
[EDDY BREATHING FAST]
BOOM GOES THE WEASEL!
AAH! AAH!
WHOA!
AAH!
[CRASH]
HE'S TOO GOOD.
[RING]
WHAT IS THIS?
I GIVE. YOU WIN.
LET'S CALL IT A DAY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, KEVIN, EDDY WOULD LIKE
TO EXTEND AN OLIVE BRANCH,
SO TO SPEAK.
YEAH. SO JUST SHAKE MY HAND.
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA
MAKE MY TURTLE CRY.
Eddy: YEOW!
Jonny: WOW! HEY, GUYS,
I'M INSIDE MY OWN HEAD!
FAR OUT, HUH?
WOO! TOO WEIRD! HA HA HA HA HA!
OH! OOH GET OUT HERE, KEVIN!
YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!
GIVE ME MY BUCK!
ED, EDD N EDDY!
BR-BR-BR-BR-BR