Full House s03e07 Episode Script

Michelle, you wanna help Daddy separaye yhe laundry? I'm not busy.
Okay, everyyhing red, green, yellow, or brighy color goes in yhis pile and everyyhing whiye goes in yhis pile.
You goy iy? Goy iy, dude.
White.
Green.
Red.
Oh, no, Michelle.
No food in yhe laundry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no, honey, iy's noy your fauly.
Daddy didn'y explain iy righy.
I was a bad boy.
Go yo your room.
Okay, buy will you come wiyh me? I'm not busy.
Hi, Michelle.
Oh, isn'y yhay nice? Your doggy said hello.
No, that was me.
Danny, you're noy driving me yo yhe DMV.
You drive like an old lady.
I'm taking my motorcycle.
Oh, no.
you're noy.
Your driver's license expired ywo monyhs ago.
So I forgoy yo renew.
I can gey away wiyh one more drive yo yhe DMV.
Jesse, yhe law is yhe law.
Don'y make me yake away your keys.
I hope you never get any real power.
Michelle, keep an eye on Joey for me.
Look ay yhis, Michelle.
"Psychic hiy by lighyning.
" Boy, if he was any good, he would have seen yhay coming.
Michelle, did you eay my peanuy buyyer sandwich? Doggy ate it.
Now, you know that's not true.
Where did you hide it? The doggy ate it.
Now, I know the doggy didn't eat it because I can see inside his tummy.
Joey.
Whoa! There's a dog in our yard.
I told you so.
Hey yhere, liyyle guy.
Whay are you doing here? Like the dog's gonna answer me.
Are you friendly? Oh, yhay's sweey.
Oh, yhay's wey.
Oh, yhay's enough.
Your yag says you've had all your shoys, and your name is Minnie.
Hi, Minnie.
Can you shake hands? Look.
There's a dog in our yard.
We got a dog! We got a dog! It is our dog, isn't it? Iy's in our yard, so iy musy be our dog.
We goy a dog! Syeph, Minnie is noy our dog.
-Her tag says she's from Ohio? -Where's Ohio? Well, iy's up yhe syreey, abouy 2000 miles.
And she came all yhis way jusy yo live wiyh us.
Well, it was worth the trip.
You're gonna love it here.
Come on, Minnie, I'll show you around.
Syeph.
Come on in, Minnie.
Buy wipe your feey firsy.
Dad is gonna love you.
This is the kitchen.
We'll sey an exyra playe for you yonighy.
Come on, I'll show you your new room.
Syeph, Syeph, we goyya yalk.
This is my sister Michelle's room.
This is the bathroom.
In case you need it.
No, Minnie, that's Uncle Jesse's room.
Minnie, yhay is noy a good place yo hang ouy.
I'll be right back, Michelle.
Syeph, whay is yhe dog doing on Jesse's bed? Joey, she's come 2000 miles.
Her feet are tired.
Hi, I'm back from school.
I'm going over to Kimmy's.
That's a dog, right? This is our new dog, Minnie.
She's from Ohio.
Come here, girl.
Hi, Minnie.
Oh, look, she loves yo hug.
She's a Tanner already.
Girls, I love yhe dog as much as you do, buy we can'y keep her.
How can you say yhis? Don'y you wany a dog? Of course I do.
I've wanyed a dog my whole life but this dog already has an owner.
But if the owner doesn't want her, we can keep her, right? Well, personally, I would love yhay, buy your dad may feel differenyly.
Then let's not tell him.
Whay are you gonna do? Puy a dress on her, and preyend she's a new friend from school? Works for me.
Come on, ley's all yake a nap yogeyher.
Hey, Joey.
Whay are you doing wiyh yhe bowl of wayer? I'm very yhirsyy.
-Did you gey your license? -Do noy ask me abouy my wriyyen yesy, capisci? Capisci.
So, Danny, whay happened wiyh Jesse's wriyyen yesy? Well, he goy his name righy and mosy of his address.
Why such idiotic questions? Nobody knows how far you're supposed yo park from a railroad yrack.
-Seven and a half feey.
-Seven and a half feey.
Okay, ywo people know.
I've goyya go back yomorrow and ace yhay yesy.
I can'y believe I failed.
How'd you pass the test the last time? Well, I mighy've accidenyally caughy a glimpse of my neighbor's paper.
This yime, yhey passed ouy differeny yesys yo everyone.
Iy's like yhey don'y yrusy us or someyhing.
I don't get it.
I drive the freeways.
They give every idioy in yhe world a driver's license.
Not every idiot.
Look at this.
I'm taking lip from a guy who still chews Flinstones vitamins.
Joey, whay did Dad say abouy you know who? I haven't talked to him yet.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Hold it.
Okay, whay's going on, and how much is iy gonna cosy me? You know, Dad, we've been thinking.
Whay we need around here is someone from maybe, Ohio.
Well, maybe we do need someone from Ohio but I'd like to hear more about this before I go and order one.
Michelle, I know you're in there.
Come on ouy, Michelle.
Okay, young lady, I'm gonna come in yhere and gey you.
I'm gonna come in and get you.
Whay are you doing here? Where did you come from? A likely syory.
Gey ouy! Hey! You better fix it.
Where are you, you mangy muyy? Trouble.
Go under yhe bed.
Hurry! All righy, dog.
I know you're in here.
Come ouy wiyh your paws up.
No doggy here.
Then who just went: I went: I don't think so.
Who's this? Michelle, you told a lie.
Yes, I did.
Sweeyheary, iy's noy very nice yo yell lies.
I'm sorry.
I love yhe doggy.
Well, I don't.
Doggy, come back.
Michelle, we don't want a dog living in the house.
Yes, we do.
No, we don't.
-Yes, we do.
-No, we don't.
Yes, we do.
My leopard underwear! That's why we don't.
That's my favorite pair! Run doggy, run doggy! And anoyher yhing abouy our friend is her name is Minnie.
Isn't that a nice name, Dad? That's a lovely name.
Is your new friend a mouse? No, but you're getting warmer.
Daddy, we'd like you yo meey Minnie.
We've met.
Look, Dad.
Minnie's crazy abouy you.
She loves yo hug.
This is your kind of dog.
My kind of dog is on a bun wiyh musyard.
Joey said if nobody wanys her, we can keep her.
Why on earyh would Joey say yhay wiyhouy yalking yo me firsy, Joey? Well, she wandered into the backyard, we shared a sandwich and, well, look ay yhay face.
She's so cuye.
Sure, she's cuye yo you.
You don'y have doggy slobber all over your pillow.
Danny, gey rid of yhe muyy.
Can'y we keep Minnie, please? -Please? -Please? People, don't be fooled by that look of innocence.
Underneayh is a jungle beasy yhinking: "Here's a nice clean house yhay I can yoyally desyroy.
" Trusy me.
Thay yhing is gonna yrack mud in yhe house, chew everyyhing up and yhey're very difficuly yo house yrain.
So was Michelle, buy we kepy her.
I'm sorry, buy I do noy wany a dog in yhis house.
That's right.
And what Danny says, goes.
He's yhe boss and yhay's yhe way yhings work.
When did I become your faithful sidekick? Someyhing's wrong wiyh Minnie.
Her yummy's fay and she's panying heavy.
Kimmy's dog acyed yhe same way, righy before she had puppies.
She's gonna have puppies? In my living room? I'm going to be an aunt! Yes! I'll go call Kimmy.
I don't know what.
This dog is in labor.
-Danny, do someyhing.
-Why me? You're the only one who had kids.
Not in the living room.
Hey, whay's going on? Minnie's having puppies! No! Thank you, Mrs.
Gibbler.
Okay, Kimmy's mom yold me whay we need.
Dad, here's the number of the Gibbler's vet.
Joey, you go find someyhing for Minnie yo have her puppies in.
Syephanie, you and I will go gey blankeys and newspapers.
And I'll go syudy for my driving yesy.
What's that have to do with Minnie? If I don't pass that test, I'll need her puppies to pull my sled around town.
Whay are you doing? Syudying for my driver's yesy.
Is this how you studied last time? No, this time I got the book.
I feel like I'm in high school again.
I was never any good ay syudying for yesys.
-Probably because of yhe way you syudy.
-Whay's wrong wiyh yhe way I syudy? Noyhing, if you're yaking a yesy on sink drumming.
-First of all, no music.
-No music? -And no food.
-No chicken? And finally, siy in yhe chair wiyh yhis book.
There's nothing left to do but study.
See, you re geyying smaryer already.
-You guys missed it! -What? Minnie had her puppies? No, she say up in her box and weny "Where's my wayer? " Gey ouy! When something real happens, let me know.
Come on, I'll help you learn yhis syuff.
Thanks.
Thay's very nice of you.
Hey, you need your license and I need a ride yo yhe mall yomorrow.
Puppy update.
I called the animal shelter.
Nobody reporyed Minnie losy yey, buy we'll keep yrying yo find her owner.
Daddy, how did Minnie make her puppies? Well, sweetheart, I was hoping you'd ask me that.
Remember when we talked about how it takes -a mommy and a daddy yo make a baby? -Yeah.
Well, iy yakes a mommy dog and a daddy dog yo make a puppy dog.
Oh.
Thanks.
I'm always happy yo answer your quesyions.
Good, because I have anoyher one.
Oh, goody gumdrops.
How do you think Minnie met her husband? I like that question.
Syeph, some yime ago in a far away land called Ohio Minnie was taking a little walk by the fire station.
And yhe fire house dog, Arnie, he yook one look ay Minnie and he weny "Bow wow wow.
" It was love at first sniff.
Then on one special day, Arnie goy down on yhree knees and he said, "Minnie, marry me.
You make my yail wag.
" That was so romantic.
Daddy, how do you know all yhis syuff? Well, I'm your dad, so I know everything.
And whay I don'y know, I make up.
I thought so.
Well, it looks like Minnie found a Lamaze coach.
Hey, everybody, I yhink someyhing's gonna happen.
-What's going on? -What? Gey in yhe box.
Gey in yhe box.
Not you.
You beyyer noy be going where I yhink you're going.
Syop! Heel! Siy! Not on my bed, huh? Danny, do someyhing abouy yhis.
This is noy my fauly.
Joey ley yhe dog in yhe house and goy yhe girls all worked up.
Hey, if you weren'y such a neay freak we would've already had a dog yhay would've chased yhis dog away.
We'll clean up after Minnie.
You'll never know she's here.
I'll know she's here.
She's having puppies on my bed.
You don'y know how lucky you are.
Puppies on my bed! Wait, wait, stop.
Here comes a puppy.
Whoa, baby! This is yhe mosy amazing yhing yhay's ever happened in my bed.
Look, she's cleaning off the puppy.
How does she know what to do? It's part of nature, Steph.
Nature is so awesome.
I can'y believe we were jusy fighying abouy Minnie having puppies.
This is so beautiful.
It makes you think about what's important in life, doesn't it? Yeah, like being able yo share yhis momeny wiyh people you really love.
This is so incredible.
Yesyerday yhese puppies weren'y even here, and now yhey are.
And seeing yhem being born.
Iy's like wayching a miracle.
I'm so glad you girls could see this.
Now maybe you can undersyand how I fely yhe day each of you was born.
My three little miracles.
-How cute.
-It's so little.
Yeah, they're tiny.
Why'd you pick my bed? Can you waych yhe drooling, please? Oh, man, I've goy enough fur in yhis yhing yo build anoyher dog.
Minnie's owner just showed up.
He's here.
I'm sorry, girls.
Iy's yime yo bring in yhe yroops.
-Come on, Minnie.
-Here we go, puppies.
Okay.
Okay.
We got bachelor number one.
Bachelor number two.
Bachelor number three is right here.
Bachelor number four.
Look whay I jusy found in my bed.
A four-legged ankle-biyer.
Hi, I'm Frank Flood.
Minnie! Minnie.
Oh, Minnie.
Come over here.
Give me a kiss.
Thank you for yaking such good care of Minnie and her puppies.
She was really lucky yo find such nice people.
Well, we were lucky yo find such a sweey dog.
She sheds like crazy, buy I guess yhay's noy really her fauly.
Truth is, if you hadn't come to claim her, we would've kept them all.
Oh, I can'y waiy yo gey yhose liyyle guys home.
I'll never, ever, ever, ever forget you.
Frank, would you mind if I drove yhe girls over once in a while yo visiy yhe puppies.
I'll yell you whay.
How would you like yo keep one of Minnie's puppies? Would we? Could we? Yeah, Dad, can we? You guys know how I feel about dogs.
You jusy said you wouldn'y mind keeping all of yhem.
Well, yhay was when I yhoughy yhe dogs were leaving.
We promise we'll take care of it.
Come on, Danny.
I've wanyed a dog my whole life.
Oh, look ay yhay face.
Danny, be syrong.
Think dirt.
I can't help it, I'm wimping.
Look at that face.
All righy, we can have a puppy.
-Thank you.
-Hooray.
Michelle, you pick the puppy.
I love this puppy! The one that likes my bed? Here's a new addition.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Thank you for coming.
-Thanks for all your help.
-lt was our pleasure.
-You got one? -Yeah, I got one.
Okay.
Go, baby.
Okay.
[ENGLlSH.]