Fuller House (2016) s03e07 Episode Script

1 La, la, la, la, la, la Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy The evening TV Everywhere you look, everywhere you go There's a heart A hand to hold onto Everywhere you look, everywhere you go There's a face Somebody who needs you Everywhere you look When you're lost out there And you're all alone A light is waiting to carry you home Everywhere you look La, la, la, la, la, la OK, some of you may be wondering why you're gathered here tonight.
Not really.
The invitation says, "Gibbler Style Party Planning Presents.
" "Steve and CJ's Japanese Pre-Wedding Schedule Meeting" "followed by Karaoke Fun.
" "Attire: Dress.
" Attire: Dress? Oh.
It was supposed to say "Attire: Dress Casual," but I ran out of room.
Can somebody zip me up? What are you guys looking at? Didn't you read the invite? "Attire: Dress.
" Jimmy, honey, it's not your fault.
You can go home and change.
Oh, I am not changing.
I shaved my legs for this.
Moving right along, you should have received schedules from Stephanie, my junior associate.
- I didn't.
- [DJ.]
No, I didn't get anything.
You had one job.
[PHONES PINGING.]
- I got it.
- I see it.
Ooh! I am so excited about my dress fitting tomorrow.
And my tux fitting.
Only three more weeks until we are Mr.
and Mrs.
Hefferphizer-Harbenberger-Hale.
Enough chit-chat.
Let the karaoke begin.
I am first on the list.
And who is ready for some Michael Bolton? Let's see, how does this work? Wait just a minute, Matt.
Somebody crossed out your name, and wrote in "Fernando.
" Bro, you can't do that.
That's not fair.
Life is not fair.
Take a seat, pretty boy.
Come on, Fernandettes! Backdrop! ["LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA" PLAYS.]
She's in to superstitions Black cats and voodoo dolls I feel a premonition That girl's gonna make me fall She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Upside, inside out Livin' la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out Livin' la vida loca She's livin' la vida loca She's livin' la vida loca Gia! Rocki! How long have you been standing here? Way too long.
Wait a minute.
I know that guy.
He danced at my bachelorette party three years ago.
Hola, Zorro.
Hola, Miss Gia.
You were an exotic dancer named Zorro? It was actually "Zarro.
" I did not want to be sued for copyright infringement.
- What's up? - Nothing.
All right, now that you've caught up, go study.
Why would our teacher make us study partners if we don't get along? Why does he put pills in his sandwich? He's not a well man.
Hey, Gia, you want to karaoke with us? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, you were serious? I am going to pizza with some hot dude from Tinder.
But you are working that dress.
Perfect fit, straight off the rack.
OK, I'm next.
["SUMMER LOVIN'" FROM GREASE PLAYS.]
Is that what I think it is? You know it.
The song we've been doing since high school.
I'm not sure if I remember it.
Summer lovin', had me a blast Summer lovin' happened so fast I met a girl, crazy for me Met a boy, cute as can be Summer days, drifting away To, oh, oh, the summer nights Oh, wella, wella, wella Tell me more, tell me more Did you get very far? Tell me more, tell me more Like, does he have a car? Ah ha, ah ha Ah ha, ah ha It turned colder, that's where it ends So I told her, we'd still be friends Then we made our true love vow Wonder what She's doing now Summer dreams Ripped at the seams But Oh Those summer Nights [VOCALIZING.]
Uh Oh, wella, wella, wella No.
So, study buddy, what else you got on Lincoln? Please don't talk.
Your voice reminds me of this annoying kid from school.
Oh, wait.
That's you.
OK, Max.
Time for bed.
[MAX.]
And tuck me in.
- Sleep tight.
- Good night, Mom.
- Don't let the bed bugs bite.
- [MAX.]
Good night, Kimmy.
Nighty-night-night.
Good night, Aunt Stephanie.
[BOTH.]
Mwah! This goes on every night? Is he dying? No.
He's just a big baby.
Jackson.
I'm waiting.
- For? - Are you new? My kiss goodnight.
I don't kiss him goodnight.
You know I don't kiss you goodnight.
You just looked me straight in the eye and lied.
[PHONE PINGS.]
Oh.
It's Gia.
She said she can't make it back tonight and was wondering if Rocki could stay over.
Of course.
She can sleep in Ramona's room.
Right, Deej? [STRAINED.]
Of course.
She can sleep in Ramona's room.
She said through a fake smile.
I'm not fake smiling.
Come on, Rocki, we'll all show you to Ramona's room.
All three of you are coming? She-Wolves always travel in a pack.
[ALL HOWL.]
Yeah, that's not a thing people do.
Isn't she adorable? Man.
No way.
I know, Vanessa Hudgens so wore it better.
No.
The movie that I sold my song to had their big red carpet premiere.
Yeah, Death Trap Four: The Reaper Returns.
I love the Reaper's catchphrase in that: "You've been reapered.
" Why didn't they invite you to the premiere? I don't know, but it doesn't matter.
I bet no one important even went.
Is that Barack Obama standing between Denzel and George Lopez? Oh, man.
George Lopez was there? Well, in that case, I am outraged.
Tell you what, Steph, meet me in the living room at eight o'clock in your fanciest dress.
Or you can borrow one of mine.
What are you up to? I have no idea.
But even if I did, I wouldn't tell you, because whatever it is, it's a surprise.
Even from me.
Hey.
Can you guys maybe tone down all the family "lovey-dovey" stuff today? Also, could you two not do anything ridiculously cute? Like that.
You don't want to be embarrassed in front of your new girlfriend? What's with the attitude? Somebody didn't give me a goodnight kiss, and I was so upset that I only got 11 hours of sleep.
So, yes, I'm cranky.
Morning, everyone.
Doesn't Rocki look super adorable in my pink poodle PJs? No.
Rocki looks like she was assaulted by a cotton candy machine.
Wow.
You're a girl.
With sugar and spice and everything Blah! Oh, man, wait till I post this.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Delete that or I will delete you from this planet.
Your girlfriend's a little tiger.
[ROARS.]
Hey, Berta.
Which tie do you like better? [IN RUSSIAN ACCENT.]
Who cares? No one looking at groom.
Steve.
Hey, I got your text.
What's the big emergency? I'm having trouble choosing a tie.
You called me out of surgery to help you with a tie? Oh, no, no, no.
I also need to know if you think I can pull off this top hat.
No, you can't.
Deej, what would I do without you? Hey, last night, karaoke was super fun, right? Yeah.
But I could tell that Matt was a little jealous of us.
Now he wants us to have our own thing, and we spent the entire lunch hour making up some special handshake.
You know, I think CJ was a little weirded out.
Why do you say that? On the ride home she said, "I'm a little weirded out.
" Oh, my goodness, that dress is gorgeous.
You want try dress on? Oh, I don't know.
Why would I? Why we do anything in life? Well, like, you know, the way things are going with Matt, I I don't know.
Maybe I might need one of those one day.
Oh, why not.
I get to try on a pretty dress! Yippee! She so happy.
Is not natural.
OK, Tommy, wanna learn to dance? Yeah.
Let's get into some hip-hop.
Come on.
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS FROM PHONE.]
We're doing something different [RAMONA.]
There you go.
Well, you got the hop part down.
Of course this house has a dancing baby.
Hey, Ramona, could you come help me? I think I just had my best idea ever.
Yeah, I feel like that bar's super low.
- [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Can you watch Tommy for a sec? Keep him away from sharp objects, wipe his mouth if he drools? It's basically like hanging out with Jackson.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
See, I'm not really much of a baby person, but do you need a bowl of water? Cookie.
You want a cookie? I'll get you a cookie.
But only if I can have a bite.
There you go.
Thanks, mini-dude.
Who's a tickle monster? I'm a tickle monster, yes, I am.
Well, well, well.
What do we have here? Rocki the tickle monster.
Knock it off or I'll punch you.
Oh, please.
I'm onto you.
You're not tough at all.
Seriously, I'll punch you.
No, you won't.
Ow, hurts.
Ow, hurts.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
Hubba, hubba.
Ah-ooh-gah.
Why, thank you, Mr.
Peanut.
Beautiful.
I know what you need.
[STEVE.]
You look lovely.
Wow, I feel like it was made for me.
You two make pretty couple.
- I take picture.
- No, we're not actually together.
Berta not ask for life story.
- Smile.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
I really do love this dress.
I wonder how much it is.
Oh, boy.
- That much? - No, it's surprisingly reasonable.
But it's CJ's dress.
What? What? Are you kidding? I am in CJ's dress? I've got to get out of it before she shows up.
Go, go! She showed up! [SCREAMS.]
Oh, Mylanta! [DJ.]
It's locked.
Berta on smoke break.
What are we gonna do? Get up there.
Quick, come up here.
OK.
- What? - All right.
OK.
Be a mannequin.
All right? No, Steve, that is the dumbest idea.
Just pose! [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Hey, baby! Steve, why are you still here? Well, you know - I missed you, honey.
- Well.
You can't see me in my dress before the big day, it's bad luck.
So, skedaddle.
I can't skedaddle without you.
So What do you say we, you know, blow this pop stand and go bowling? Why would I do that? You're always saying, "Take me bowling", I'm nuts about bowling.
"Yay, bowling!" Yeah, I've never said that.
Did I say bowling? I meant dancing.
Let's dance.
Honey, can I ask you a question? You're not gonna be one of those runaway brides, are you? The kind that just ups and runs away right out the door? What are you talking about? Kiss me, honey.
But with your eyes closed, so it's not creepy.
Steve! Save it for the honeymoon.
[DOOR CHIMES.]
Hey.
Wasn't that mannequin just over there? And over there.
Wait, that's my dress.
Why does this mannequin have arm hair? Hey, girl, what's up? Why are you wearing my wedding dress? Yeah, why are you wearing my wedding dress? Well Funny story.
One that you'll laugh about later someday.
Not today.
Well, I OK.
I saw this beautiful dress, and I loved it, and the lady, she told me, "Try it on.
" Do not throw Berta under bus.
The point is, I didn't know it was your dress.
And I couldn't feel more sorry about it.
Honey, it really was just an innocent mistake.
But now I can't wear my wedding dress, because you've seen it.
Which sucks, 'cause I truly loved it.
And it took me forever to find it.
Well, I can help you find a new one.
I mean, we're the same size, we have the same taste in dresses, and in Perhaps I've helped enough.
No, it's not just the dress, it's you two, you go way back, and you have all this history.
CJ, you have nothing to worry about.
We're just friends now.
And you guys, you make a beautiful couple.
And I wish you nothing but the best.
CJ, I hope that you'll forgive me.
I forgive you.
Thank you.
Can I have a hug? You look like you really need one.
Come here.
Guys, I've got to get in on this.
And not my business, but if other woman wear my dress? I kill her.
So? What's the big surprise? You'll see, but don't look inside until I open the door.
Yeah, that's kind of how it works.
[CHEERING.]
No way! Yes way.
If you aren't invited to the red carpet, we'll bring the red carpet to you.
[ALL SHOUT.]
Hey! Stephanie! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Stephanie Tanner, is it true your husband left you for your nanny? Miss Tanner, simply stunning.
Who are you wearing? Well, my dress is from Jimmy's collection.
And why he has a collection, I don't ask.
[KIMMY.]
There's Stephanie's nephew.
Hey, Tommy, how about a big smile for the red carpet? How about a nose pick? Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
Aw, baby.
I missed you.
What? That's our special thing.
Everybody, our feature presentation is about to begin.
[MATT.]
Sweet! Who wants popcorn? - [DJ.]
All right, sit down.
- [STEPHANIE.]
I am so excited.
Okay Here you go.
Jimmy, how did you get a copy of Death Trap Four on such short notice? It's already streaming on Netflix.
Those guys are taking over the world.
In a good way.
OK.
In the first scene, "The Boy Next Door" will be on the radio.
[IN FILM, CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
[CAR REVS.]
Who is that man? Is he the Reaper? Is that a death trap? Uh-oh.
We have a talker.
Shh! Look, he's turning on the radio.
- Used to think I was unlucky - [TIRES SCREECH.]
[CRASHING.]
Yep.
That was a death trap.
That's it? My song was only on for, like, two seconds.
But golly gee, it was a very catchy two seconds.
[JIMMY.]
I'm so sorry, Steph.
You must be really disappointed.
Well, it would have been nice to hear the whole song.
Or even a full sentence.
But you know what? I am OK.
'Cause I got my song in a movie and you guys went to all this trouble.
And you made me feel really special.
That's because you are special.
You make every day a red carpet moment just by being my boyfriend.
[ALL.]
Aww! I love all you guys.
And we love you, too.
What's happening to me? You know what this touching moment needs? More karaoke.
Upside, inside out She's livin' la vida loca [FERNANDO.]
Hola, Gia.
I drop her off, you're singing "Livin' La Vida Loca," I pick her up, you're singing "Livin' La Vida Loca.
" You people have a Ricky Martin problem.
Rocki? What are you wearing? Mom, you left me in a cult.
I had to fit in to survive.
It's conga time! - Let's go.
Ray's waiting.
- Ray? I'm pretty sure that's his name.
It's past the point where I can ask.
If you tell anyone that I kissed a baby, I will end you.
If you tell anyone how much my family loves me, you'll be sorry.
- Deal.
- Hug on it? Ow! Same spot.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
[DOORBELL CHIMES.]
It's always Wait.
It's ten o'clock at night.
Who is it? - It's Steve.
- Hey.
- Hey, Deej.
- Out on your nightly donut run? You know me so well.
Maple log? No, thanks.
Good, 'cause I ate 'em all.
Hey, I wanted to talk about what happened today.
How's CJ? Is she OK? Oh, no, she's fine.
She's fine.
I told her you're more like a sister to me and that I barely see you as a woman.
Gee, thanks.
Well, you know, after today, I realized that our friendship can't be the same once you're married.
I'm gonna have to step back.
Out of respect for CJ.
We'll still be friends, right? Of course.
OK, so I'll see you later.
Yeah.
I'll see you at the wedding.
Duh.
OK, so - Night.
- Yeah.
Hey.
- Good hang.
- Yeah, bro.
[PHONE PINGS.]
[PHONE PINGS.]
Summer dreams Ripped at the seams - [WOMAN.]
One, two, three, four - [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
La, la, la, la, la, la [VOCALIZES.]