GLOW (2017) s03e07 Episode Script
Hollywood Homecoming
It's a million degrees in here.
- It's not that bad.
- Yes, it is.
- You're sweating.
Like, a lot.
- Huh? Well, yeah, the fucking air conditioner's broken.
Well, maybe roll down all the windows, then.
All right, listen, when we go in there, don't make too much small talk.
- I'm not gonna say anything.
- Well, no.
I mean, you gotta say something, but J-Just be yourself.
You know, maybe ten percent less weird.
That would be good.
Wow.
Okay, thanks.
You know what I'm saying.
I mean, it's just I I need you to look like you give a shit.
I give a shit.
It's summer vacation, and I'm not backpacking through Europe.
I'm here.
I really want this.
All right, okay.
All right.
But don't want it too much.
You know what I mean? Don't You don't wanna appear desperate.
Christ, I haven't been here in a long time.
Hey.
Uh, Sam Sylvia, Justine Biagi.
Yes, sir.
Please pull forward and park in any of the visitors spaces.
Okay, here we go.
Happy fucking faces.
Happy faces.
Not too happy.
Not Okay.
Ah.
How about this one? Reserved, but still fun.
No! - What's wrong with pigs? - She hates animals.
So, no leopard print, then? Where Fuck.
Hi, Birdie.
There is a water feature in the kitchen.
It's a hot tub.
They're standard in all the penthouses.
Please, come in.
Careful making toast.
Well, we mostly order room service.
It's free.
Mostly.
Where are you staying? At the Sands.
What's the matter with your voice? Oh, Bash is on vocal rest.
He basically yells for an hour straight every night, and the audience loves him.
- But it's very hard on his vocal chords.
- Very hard.
Oh.
So you speak for him.
Oh! Rhonda.
Rhonda Howard.
I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner.
No, I'm fine.
I mean, what mother doesn't want to learn from American Express that her son has married a new cardholder? And there's why I didn't say anything sooner.
Oh, save your voice, Romeo.
I'm simply here to meet the woman that my son fell so madly in love with that he kept her a secret from his family.
Well, maybe this is a good thing.
Because I don't like secrets.
And I've been wanting to meet you, too, - Mom.
- No, no.
- Mrs.
Howard.
- Uh-uh.
- Birdie.
- Birdie.
Let's order lunch.
And drinks.
So I'm just gonna come out and say it.
We are very interested in this.
I do have a couple of thoughts, mostly questions.
Uh, uh, yeah.
Of course, go ahead.
Shoot.
So, my first question what do you think of Michael J.
Fox? Uh He's great.
Yeah.
For what? For For the dad? He's a little young.
No, I mean for Jules.
But, uh, Jules is a girl.
Well, in this draft, sure, but, you know, I've worked with Michael, and he is one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people.
And he's mid-20s, but he plays young.
Okay.
Uh, my next question: The title are we married to it? Want me to throw it back? Yeah! I'll throw it back.
I'll throw it.
Throw it.
Oh, thank you.
That was mean.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
I've got, um, paychecks.
Oh! - Oh, my God.
Okay.
I gotta - Can I talk to you? Yes.
Uh Okay, we're gonna have to do it out here because I I now live in the hallway.
That's all Randy wants to do.
An entire fucking hotel playhouse, and we're just in the hallway.
So, have a seat.
Welcome to my office.
What can I do for you? - Thank you.
- Here's your paycheck.
Um Okay.
I have been reviewing my finances and speaking to, uh, other costume designers on the Strip, who were surprised to find out that I am not being compensated for my additional wardrobe work.
You What? We don't pay you for your additional wardrobe work? You do not.
And I know I'm not Bob Mackie, or Pete Menefee, or Michael Travis, but all of the costumes require maintenance and doubles, and my goal is to leave here with as much money as possible without spending one more cent at this hotel, because it offends me to my core.
So, uh, how much of a weekly increase would that be exactly? I believe a 13 percent jump would be reasonable, given my research.
And I will accept nothing less, or will cease my responsibilities henceforth immediately.
Okay.
Um I will see what I can do.
Thank you, Jenny.
- I'm glad you came to me.
- You are? Yeah.
I was pretty nervous.
You did so well, I couldn't tell at all.
- Really? - Yeah.
Wow, great.
Where the fuck is Randy? Randy? Randy? We got him! Oh, you love Dawn and Stacey, don't you? Yes, you did so good - Oh! - Hi! I know you stopped breastfeeding a while ago, but this kid's still got a thing for tits.
What can I say? He's a Vegas baby now.
I mean, we've broken up before, but I think it's for real this time.
I can't eat anything.
I can't sleep.
- I start crying at the weirdest times.
- Place your bet.
I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
Because the person I want to talk to about it is Yolanda, and I can't talk to her about it, you know? - No more bets.
- No, not really.
Hard six.
Six.
You win.
But you and Keith We're still married.
He's in LA, working.
I'm in Vegas, working.
The end.
Press on my five and ten? - Place your bets.
- Oh, I'm out.
Where you going? I made a deal with myself I would only spend $20 of my paycheck.
I'm gonna go eat.
Alone.
People have to eat.
You know, I hate eating alone.
You know, people say bring a book.
Sit at the bar.
I can't do it.
Right now, I just wanna be alone with a bunch of people.
That's why I like craps.
That's why a lot of people like craps.
- You ever play? - Oh, no.
I can't gamble here, it's against the rules.
And I'm a little bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to taking risks, so Well, I got four letters from my husband I'm too scared to open.
We're all afraid of something, Rita.
So, Rhonda you're from England.
What gave it away? London? - Bromley.
- Suburbs.
Aren't the suburbs in England, how do you say it a bit dodgy? They are.
That's why I left.
And how long have you been in our fine country? Um Three years.
- Do you know the band Duran Duran? - Very popular.
They were touring the States, and they asked me and my mate if we wanted to come, and we were like, "Uh, yeah.
" Flew private.
See, I wanna be a singer, and I knew if I stayed in the UK, I'd never be discovered.
So, when the tour came to LA, I decided to stay.
It was really hard at first.
But I stuck it out.
And I'm so glad I did because, otherwise, I never would've been desperate enough to try out for GLOW and meet this brilliant man.
Oh! Okay, so you're on the show.
See, here I was thinking that the two of you met what, in an alley somewhere? - Well, I did live in my car.
- Did you? Let's not Are you leaving? No, I'm not leaving.
I was thinking that we should go shopping.
We should? We should! You're married to my son, and I haven't even gotten you a wedding present.
- Well, I'll come.
- Nonsense.
Oh, don't worry, I won't bite.
I just wanna get to know my daughter-in-law, one-on-one.
Just us girls.
I mean, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if Jules was a boy.
In a David Bowie kind of way.
It's a terrible idea.
- You said it was interesting.
- Yeah, by "interesting," I meant fucking stupid.
I was just being polite because she's a woman, you know? I mean, she had every other page of your script crossed out.
You know, you don't have to have a penis to be a fucking asshole.
Oh, that's another thing.
When they're giving their stupid notes, don't take out your little notebook.
It's just gonna get you more notes.
Okay.
Well what's the deal with this guy? Don Silverberg.
We go way back.
I gave him his first job.
So, hopefully, there's a little juice here for me, and this will go a lot better.
Sam Sylvia.
- I kept you waiting.
- All right, all right! Don! How are ya? Okay.
What, are you a fucking Buddhist now? I am.
All right.
You You know what? - You remember the last time I saw you? - Mm.
I was drunk.
- It was at that pool party.
- Mm-hmm.
And Bryan and his guys were making you shave their asses because they thought - it would make 'em swim faster.
- Ah.
Yeah, that isn't the last time I saw you, Sam, but I am not surprised you don't remember that.
All right, so let's, uh, let's skip the pleasantries, all right? My kid wrote a great script.
I know that, you know that.
That's why we're here.
I didn't read it.
Okay, well, we can walk you through the story.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, I just want to know if the rumors are true.
You're directing porn now? No, it's not porn.
It's women's wrestling, but, hey, as long as people are still talking, right? They're not.
No one gives a shit about you.
But I remember you, Sam.
How could I forget the guy who sent me to deliver flowers to his mother's hospital room while he fucked an extra in his trailer? - You know, that - Or the time you made me cry in front of all those grips 'cause I didn't know what a hoagie was.
They call 'em submarine sandwiches where I'm from.
Oh! Oh, yeah.
I owe this guy everything.
All right.
Let's go.
You know, I would've enjoyed this a lot more if your daughter wasn't here.
- I'm not a monster.
- You know, go fuck yourself, you fucking hypocrite Buddhist.
- Feel better? - I do, yeah.
I mean Your last movie sucked.
Oh, you mean Out of Africa? Yeah.
Thanks.
I'll be sure to let Sydney know! Goddammit.
Where the fuck is parking lot D? God We're gonna be late for our next fucking meeting.
Who cares? This sucks.
Let's just go home.
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how much shit I had to eat to get us these meetings? I had to call my ex-wife's brother just to get a fucking phone number.
I called my old agent, who is twice as much, ten times as much of an asshole as the Count of Monte Fuckface up there.
I mean, come on! If I wanted to feel shitty and useless, I could've stayed in Vegas.
I didn't ask you to do any of that.
That's not the point.
Why can't we just grab a camera and shoot the whole thing guerrilla-style, like you did for Blood Disco? Because you wrote something that's so much fucking better than Blood Disco, it's better than anything I've made, or I'm gonna make, or fucking Where the fuck is this parking lot? This is dumb.
Ugh, fucking ungrateful.
Seriously.
Jesus Christ.
Calm down.
Look, if you wanna fuck this up, be my guest, but don't come crying to me if it turns out you squandered your one opportunity to be great.
Or Or just, you know not mediocre.
Parking lot D.
Yeah, I I I knew that's where it was.
This one's kinda unique.
Oh, look at these.
Which one do you like? I mean, if you had to pick one, which Well this one's Oscar de la Renta, and very expensive.
And this one's equally lovely and cheaper.
I think I'm supposed to choose the more expensive one because it's more posh, but I'm gonna go with this one because I actually like it more.
Interesting.
Look Bash told me to be scared of you, and I am but I also want to be honest with you.
I married Bash for the wrong reasons.
God, you're taking all the fun out of this whole thing.
Although I do appreciate you not wasting my time.
Okay, let's hear it.
Okay, so when Bash asked me to marry him, I didn't love him.
I didn't really even know him.
I married Bash because I needed a green card.
You married my son because you needed a green card? I know.
I know it's awful, but I love him now.
I fell in love with him.
Right, well, it's not hard to fall in love with a millionaire.
Maybe not.
But Bash is kind, and caring, and genuinely clever.
But he's also compulsive and so innocent sometimes, it hurts to look at him, you know? And I see all these people just wanting to take advantage of him and his generosity because all they see is his money.
And I And I'm supposed to believe that you don't.
That you're not just gonna walk away with all his money.
The other day I saw all these unopened checks just laying around the penthouse.
And I asked Bash why he didn't deposit them, and he said he didn't know how.
So I went down to the Clark County Credit Union, and I did it for him.
And I put his paychecks into savings so he can't spend it.
I'm not even sure he knew he got paid.
So you don't trust my son - with money.
- Well, he's not good with it.
But no one has to be good at everything.
Oh, he didn't even get you a diamond.
Oh, no, I picked that.
I like blue.
Well, I hate it.
Okay.
I know.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Honey.
I know, sweetie.
You okay? I guess you have two of them.
Um He's better in the hallway.
Hey, bud.
Hey, bud, look! It's okay.
Um, I also have a check for Sam.
Uh, is it my job now to send him the money he somehow still collects while I'm here working? Great.
Um, also, uh, Jenny came to me today with what I think is a very reasonable request for a raise.
Um, I went through the budget that you and Sam made, and I found the money in what appears to be a line item for cigarettes and Dr.
Pepper.
What's happening? "Fine with Jenny raise.
Not wasting my voice on this.
" Do you have a sore throat? I'm sorr Please, rest your voice.
That's so smart.
In fact, you know what? You don't have to talk at all.
I'll just What I wanna say is this: Um, you are a dickhead, and I don't trust you anymore.
And Sam may have run off to LA, but I am still here.
And I brought my fucking kid.
So there's not a single day I will not be in your face.
And I have very strong vocal chords! I wish more men would go on vocal rest.
Randy, it's time to go! Oh, my God.
Oh, hey there.
Ooh! Hey, big spender.
You with somebody? You looking to get lucky - like the rest of us? Okay.
- Sir.
You can't have a baby on the casino floor.
That's why I picked him up.
Oh, I got you, sweetheart.
Okay, buddy.
- Oh, my God! There he is! I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
So sorry! Oh, my God.
He just got on the elevator.
I was right there and then, boom, the doors just closed.
Hey, I know you.
You were on my 11:40 flight.
Oh, yeah.
Didn't you have a beard? Uh, yeah.
Turned in my hobo card.
I vaguely remember losing my cool in front of you.
Unlike, say, now.
You know, I haven't seen you in a while.
Yeah, well, I Because I made the very smart decision to, um bring my baby to the casino where I work.
And, as you can see, it's going exactly according to plan.
- Thank you for finding him.
- You're welcome.
Um, can I buy you a, uh, "thank you" drink? How about I buy you a "you're welcome" dinner instead? Are you asking me on a date while I am holding my screaming son in a casino? Yeah.
You got a good babysitter? Um Yeah.
I've got some options.
All right, I'll pick you up at 8:00.
Uh-huh.
Should you be smoking in here? There's an ashtray.
I think that's an award.
Hi, sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi.
Jonathan.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, I'm Sam.
Uh, this is my daughter, Justine.
She wrote a good script.
It's, uh, you know, it's a very personal, uh You know what, she'll tell you.
She'll tell you.
Um Uh, sure, yeah.
Uh Well, the character is kinda based on me.
Um About a year ago, I moved out here to Hollywood to meet my father for the first time.
Only - he didn't know he had a daughter.
- Shit.
Yeah.
It was weird.
And all I knew were his movies, which I worshiped.
And, you know, he didn't know what to do with me 'cause what 50-year-old man wants a teenage daughter dropped on them? So he made me enroll in high school, and basically the only way I survived, really, was because I met this group of AV club nerds.
And they weren't the kind of nerds who were trying to get laid by the hot girls.
They were these weird, complicated kids, who were trying to make these little movies in a in a town of people trying to make big movies.
And that made me think about how weird it is to grow up in LA, you know? And even though I was only here for a few months, I mean Well, it's great.
We love it.
And we'd love to do this with you.
Awesome.
Sorry, uh, what does that mean exactly? Uh, we'd like to make your movie.
Uh, so please don't sell it to anyone else.
'Cause, um Yeah.
And we'll get an official offer out, like, next week.
Um, do you have an agent? Oh, my God! Did that just happen? I mean, is this what it feels like when your entire life changes? How much money do think they're gonna give us? How do you How do you get an agent? How are you so calm right now? Holy shit! I mean, we have to celebrate.
Where should we go? You know, I gotta I gotta go see a guy about a thing.
Why don't you just take the car, and and I'll get a cab, okay? - Seriously? - Yeah.
What the fuck? Who am I supposed to celebrate with? I don't know.
Billy? Uh, maybe some of the other people you wrote the movie about? I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking know.
What is your problem? You're being so weird right now.
He-Hey Justine What? I just want you to know that I'm I'm very proud of you.
And I love you.
Okay.
Whatever.
Love you, too.
- Hey Hey, buddy.
- Yeah? Hey, can you call me an ambulance, please? - Call me an ambulance.
Okay? - Yeah, sure.
Sure.
Ah, fuck.
Ah, come on.
Come on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
How many dresses did you get? Are you okay? Marty, can you hear us? I'm here, Mrs.
Howard.
Is that our business manager? And me.
Allen.
I'm here, too.
Who's Allen? The family lawyer.
What is this, a coup? Darling, as much as I'd like it, you can't be on an allowance forever.
You're a grown, married man now.
I knew it! Fine! Cut me off! We're doing great out here, Birdie.
We can support ourselves.
You can't banish us.
I banish you! Oh, sit down, you're embarrassing yourself.
We're not on Falcon Crest.
So you do watch television.
Marty? Sebastian, when your grandfather set up your trust, he allowed for a stipulation that if you were to be married, you would bypass your living trustees, your, uh, mother in this case, and unlock the whole of your funds.
Meaning? This is Allen now.
The full 40 million dollars, including the assets of your inheritance, are yours to do with what you'd like.
Forty million dollars? You're joking.
Oh, yes, I'm the comic relief.
- Hold on, hold on.
- What? See? It's nice to be on a date with a grown-up for a change.
Sure, babies can be a handful.
Yes, babies.
That's exactly who I was talking about.
You know, I think I missed out on that stage.
How old are your boys? Twenty-four now, Uh, 20 and 18.
I missed a lot of it.
Uh, that's on me, though.
My ex is a good woman, excellent mother.
She used to say I was overextended and unfocused.
Well in truth, I'm just a a dabbler.
What do you dabble in, Tex? Well, I had a ranch.
I have ranches.
Oh, you're a rancher.
I'm not a rancher.
I have this ranch, and the ranch had a mine on it.
And, long story short, that mine produced a semiconductor that they use in radios, which led me to what you call media but I like to call it buying up little radio stations, and we're in expansion mode now, so What do you do, Debbie? Um, the same.
No, I I'm also a dabbler.
Uh I just make way less money.
Um, I I'm a producer and an actress.
Uh And I'm a wrestler.
Uh? - I, uh, produce a wrestling show.
- What? At the Fan-Tan, that I also happen to star in.
You're having dinner with Liberty Belle, one of the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.
Oh, my God! - Uh-huh.
- I thought I was sitting with somebody special.
Yeah, well No, I am I'm trying to to transition more into the producing side of things.
It's just, um I don't know, it hasn't been easy.
And Especially with a kid.
Mostly, I'm just staring down the barrel of life, wondering what the hell I'm aiming for, Tex.
You know my name's not really Tex, right? Oh, my God.
What? Why did I make up that name? I don't know, the hat, or the accent, or some such.
You're an imaginative woman.
- I'm actually from Wyoming.
- No, no, no! Yeah, up the street.
Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
Jesus.
- Ah What's your name? It's But James.
- No.
- James Joseph McCready.
JJ.
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
No, stay.
- Okay, people call you JJ? - They call me JJ.
They do.
God.
Can I still call you Tex? You can call me whatever you want.
Okay, Mr.
Sylvia, so the results from your EKG confirm that you've had a cardiac event.
Just say heart attack.
Yes.
A heart attack.
Believe it or not, you're lucky.
But consider this a wake-up call.
At your age, it's time to start laying off the alcohol and cigarettes.
You'll have to change your diet, start exercising.
That's what I've been doing.
I've been doing that.
Well, then you're on the right path.
We're gonna keep you overnight for observation, all right? Is there anyone you want us to call? No.
As soon as I get back, I'll put you in touch with our group at Morgan Stanley.
We'll get your portfolio all set up.
Eventually, you're gonna need a will.
Always thinking ahead.
Thank you, Birdie.
What's happening? You're married.
I am.
I didn't feel a thing at your sister's wedding, but I think I would have at yours.
Well, we can always do something when I get back.
Oh, we will.
If you think you're getting away without me throwing a giant party that you'll hate, you're out of your mind.
Consider having children while I'm still young enough to be mistaken for their mother.
- Thank you so much for everything.
- Oh.
And for making Bash.
Oh.
Keep him interested.
However you see fit.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Um How's about you come back to my hotel, and I buy you that drink? You're always trying to get me drunk.
Yeah.
How about, instead of a drink tonight, you let me take you out again tomorrow? That's moving a little fast for me, Tex from Wyoming.
- You just invited me to your hotel.
- Oh, yeah.
I like kissing wrestlers.
- Okay.
Tomorrow night.
- Okay.
Jesus Christ.
What the hell? I was about to call the police.
Where were you? Sorry.
Old habits die hard.
You're such a bastard.
I wanted to celebrate with you.
Instead, I had the worst night with Billy.
Oh, yeah? - How's Billy? - Fat.
I mean, still cute, but he definitely put on a few.
And he dragged me to some terrible club that smelled like feet, and I ended up helping some girl look for her purse for, like, an hour.
Yeah? You should put that in your movie.
Our movie.
No.
It's your journey now, kid.
So, what? You don't want to direct it? What are you talking about? I fucking knew it.
You were so wrapped up in your old shit with what's-his-face, the Zen prick, you weren't even listening.
And you want me to give a shit? Okay, man.
What? What? I told that guy I wouldn't do it without you directing.
Why would you say that? Will you calm down? What is the matter with you? I can't fucking direct.
I haven't directed anything good in years.
I mean, maybe ever.
Bullshit! And too bad.
Justine, you don't have to bring me with you, all right? I'm dead weight.
So, you can believe in me, but I can't believe in you? I I I wrote a movie, I sold that movie, I demanded you direct that movie, so we're making that fucking movie! Together.
Or at least until we both get found out and fired.
Jesus Christ! We should celebrate! Yeah! That's what I've been trying to say, jerk.
We're making a movie.
Yeah, we're making a movie.
Mm! Let's make a fucking movie.
- It's not that bad.
- Yes, it is.
- You're sweating.
Like, a lot.
- Huh? Well, yeah, the fucking air conditioner's broken.
Well, maybe roll down all the windows, then.
All right, listen, when we go in there, don't make too much small talk.
- I'm not gonna say anything.
- Well, no.
I mean, you gotta say something, but J-Just be yourself.
You know, maybe ten percent less weird.
That would be good.
Wow.
Okay, thanks.
You know what I'm saying.
I mean, it's just I I need you to look like you give a shit.
I give a shit.
It's summer vacation, and I'm not backpacking through Europe.
I'm here.
I really want this.
All right, okay.
All right.
But don't want it too much.
You know what I mean? Don't You don't wanna appear desperate.
Christ, I haven't been here in a long time.
Hey.
Uh, Sam Sylvia, Justine Biagi.
Yes, sir.
Please pull forward and park in any of the visitors spaces.
Okay, here we go.
Happy fucking faces.
Happy faces.
Not too happy.
Not Okay.
Ah.
How about this one? Reserved, but still fun.
No! - What's wrong with pigs? - She hates animals.
So, no leopard print, then? Where Fuck.
Hi, Birdie.
There is a water feature in the kitchen.
It's a hot tub.
They're standard in all the penthouses.
Please, come in.
Careful making toast.
Well, we mostly order room service.
It's free.
Mostly.
Where are you staying? At the Sands.
What's the matter with your voice? Oh, Bash is on vocal rest.
He basically yells for an hour straight every night, and the audience loves him.
- But it's very hard on his vocal chords.
- Very hard.
Oh.
So you speak for him.
Oh! Rhonda.
Rhonda Howard.
I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner.
No, I'm fine.
I mean, what mother doesn't want to learn from American Express that her son has married a new cardholder? And there's why I didn't say anything sooner.
Oh, save your voice, Romeo.
I'm simply here to meet the woman that my son fell so madly in love with that he kept her a secret from his family.
Well, maybe this is a good thing.
Because I don't like secrets.
And I've been wanting to meet you, too, - Mom.
- No, no.
- Mrs.
Howard.
- Uh-uh.
- Birdie.
- Birdie.
Let's order lunch.
And drinks.
So I'm just gonna come out and say it.
We are very interested in this.
I do have a couple of thoughts, mostly questions.
Uh, uh, yeah.
Of course, go ahead.
Shoot.
So, my first question what do you think of Michael J.
Fox? Uh He's great.
Yeah.
For what? For For the dad? He's a little young.
No, I mean for Jules.
But, uh, Jules is a girl.
Well, in this draft, sure, but, you know, I've worked with Michael, and he is one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people.
And he's mid-20s, but he plays young.
Okay.
Uh, my next question: The title are we married to it? Want me to throw it back? Yeah! I'll throw it back.
I'll throw it.
Throw it.
Oh, thank you.
That was mean.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
I've got, um, paychecks.
Oh! - Oh, my God.
Okay.
I gotta - Can I talk to you? Yes.
Uh Okay, we're gonna have to do it out here because I I now live in the hallway.
That's all Randy wants to do.
An entire fucking hotel playhouse, and we're just in the hallway.
So, have a seat.
Welcome to my office.
What can I do for you? - Thank you.
- Here's your paycheck.
Um Okay.
I have been reviewing my finances and speaking to, uh, other costume designers on the Strip, who were surprised to find out that I am not being compensated for my additional wardrobe work.
You What? We don't pay you for your additional wardrobe work? You do not.
And I know I'm not Bob Mackie, or Pete Menefee, or Michael Travis, but all of the costumes require maintenance and doubles, and my goal is to leave here with as much money as possible without spending one more cent at this hotel, because it offends me to my core.
So, uh, how much of a weekly increase would that be exactly? I believe a 13 percent jump would be reasonable, given my research.
And I will accept nothing less, or will cease my responsibilities henceforth immediately.
Okay.
Um I will see what I can do.
Thank you, Jenny.
- I'm glad you came to me.
- You are? Yeah.
I was pretty nervous.
You did so well, I couldn't tell at all.
- Really? - Yeah.
Wow, great.
Where the fuck is Randy? Randy? Randy? We got him! Oh, you love Dawn and Stacey, don't you? Yes, you did so good - Oh! - Hi! I know you stopped breastfeeding a while ago, but this kid's still got a thing for tits.
What can I say? He's a Vegas baby now.
I mean, we've broken up before, but I think it's for real this time.
I can't eat anything.
I can't sleep.
- I start crying at the weirdest times.
- Place your bet.
I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
Because the person I want to talk to about it is Yolanda, and I can't talk to her about it, you know? - No more bets.
- No, not really.
Hard six.
Six.
You win.
But you and Keith We're still married.
He's in LA, working.
I'm in Vegas, working.
The end.
Press on my five and ten? - Place your bets.
- Oh, I'm out.
Where you going? I made a deal with myself I would only spend $20 of my paycheck.
I'm gonna go eat.
Alone.
People have to eat.
You know, I hate eating alone.
You know, people say bring a book.
Sit at the bar.
I can't do it.
Right now, I just wanna be alone with a bunch of people.
That's why I like craps.
That's why a lot of people like craps.
- You ever play? - Oh, no.
I can't gamble here, it's against the rules.
And I'm a little bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to taking risks, so Well, I got four letters from my husband I'm too scared to open.
We're all afraid of something, Rita.
So, Rhonda you're from England.
What gave it away? London? - Bromley.
- Suburbs.
Aren't the suburbs in England, how do you say it a bit dodgy? They are.
That's why I left.
And how long have you been in our fine country? Um Three years.
- Do you know the band Duran Duran? - Very popular.
They were touring the States, and they asked me and my mate if we wanted to come, and we were like, "Uh, yeah.
" Flew private.
See, I wanna be a singer, and I knew if I stayed in the UK, I'd never be discovered.
So, when the tour came to LA, I decided to stay.
It was really hard at first.
But I stuck it out.
And I'm so glad I did because, otherwise, I never would've been desperate enough to try out for GLOW and meet this brilliant man.
Oh! Okay, so you're on the show.
See, here I was thinking that the two of you met what, in an alley somewhere? - Well, I did live in my car.
- Did you? Let's not Are you leaving? No, I'm not leaving.
I was thinking that we should go shopping.
We should? We should! You're married to my son, and I haven't even gotten you a wedding present.
- Well, I'll come.
- Nonsense.
Oh, don't worry, I won't bite.
I just wanna get to know my daughter-in-law, one-on-one.
Just us girls.
I mean, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if Jules was a boy.
In a David Bowie kind of way.
It's a terrible idea.
- You said it was interesting.
- Yeah, by "interesting," I meant fucking stupid.
I was just being polite because she's a woman, you know? I mean, she had every other page of your script crossed out.
You know, you don't have to have a penis to be a fucking asshole.
Oh, that's another thing.
When they're giving their stupid notes, don't take out your little notebook.
It's just gonna get you more notes.
Okay.
Well what's the deal with this guy? Don Silverberg.
We go way back.
I gave him his first job.
So, hopefully, there's a little juice here for me, and this will go a lot better.
Sam Sylvia.
- I kept you waiting.
- All right, all right! Don! How are ya? Okay.
What, are you a fucking Buddhist now? I am.
All right.
You You know what? - You remember the last time I saw you? - Mm.
I was drunk.
- It was at that pool party.
- Mm-hmm.
And Bryan and his guys were making you shave their asses because they thought - it would make 'em swim faster.
- Ah.
Yeah, that isn't the last time I saw you, Sam, but I am not surprised you don't remember that.
All right, so let's, uh, let's skip the pleasantries, all right? My kid wrote a great script.
I know that, you know that.
That's why we're here.
I didn't read it.
Okay, well, we can walk you through the story.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, I just want to know if the rumors are true.
You're directing porn now? No, it's not porn.
It's women's wrestling, but, hey, as long as people are still talking, right? They're not.
No one gives a shit about you.
But I remember you, Sam.
How could I forget the guy who sent me to deliver flowers to his mother's hospital room while he fucked an extra in his trailer? - You know, that - Or the time you made me cry in front of all those grips 'cause I didn't know what a hoagie was.
They call 'em submarine sandwiches where I'm from.
Oh! Oh, yeah.
I owe this guy everything.
All right.
Let's go.
You know, I would've enjoyed this a lot more if your daughter wasn't here.
- I'm not a monster.
- You know, go fuck yourself, you fucking hypocrite Buddhist.
- Feel better? - I do, yeah.
I mean Your last movie sucked.
Oh, you mean Out of Africa? Yeah.
Thanks.
I'll be sure to let Sydney know! Goddammit.
Where the fuck is parking lot D? God We're gonna be late for our next fucking meeting.
Who cares? This sucks.
Let's just go home.
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how much shit I had to eat to get us these meetings? I had to call my ex-wife's brother just to get a fucking phone number.
I called my old agent, who is twice as much, ten times as much of an asshole as the Count of Monte Fuckface up there.
I mean, come on! If I wanted to feel shitty and useless, I could've stayed in Vegas.
I didn't ask you to do any of that.
That's not the point.
Why can't we just grab a camera and shoot the whole thing guerrilla-style, like you did for Blood Disco? Because you wrote something that's so much fucking better than Blood Disco, it's better than anything I've made, or I'm gonna make, or fucking Where the fuck is this parking lot? This is dumb.
Ugh, fucking ungrateful.
Seriously.
Jesus Christ.
Calm down.
Look, if you wanna fuck this up, be my guest, but don't come crying to me if it turns out you squandered your one opportunity to be great.
Or Or just, you know not mediocre.
Parking lot D.
Yeah, I I I knew that's where it was.
This one's kinda unique.
Oh, look at these.
Which one do you like? I mean, if you had to pick one, which Well this one's Oscar de la Renta, and very expensive.
And this one's equally lovely and cheaper.
I think I'm supposed to choose the more expensive one because it's more posh, but I'm gonna go with this one because I actually like it more.
Interesting.
Look Bash told me to be scared of you, and I am but I also want to be honest with you.
I married Bash for the wrong reasons.
God, you're taking all the fun out of this whole thing.
Although I do appreciate you not wasting my time.
Okay, let's hear it.
Okay, so when Bash asked me to marry him, I didn't love him.
I didn't really even know him.
I married Bash because I needed a green card.
You married my son because you needed a green card? I know.
I know it's awful, but I love him now.
I fell in love with him.
Right, well, it's not hard to fall in love with a millionaire.
Maybe not.
But Bash is kind, and caring, and genuinely clever.
But he's also compulsive and so innocent sometimes, it hurts to look at him, you know? And I see all these people just wanting to take advantage of him and his generosity because all they see is his money.
And I And I'm supposed to believe that you don't.
That you're not just gonna walk away with all his money.
The other day I saw all these unopened checks just laying around the penthouse.
And I asked Bash why he didn't deposit them, and he said he didn't know how.
So I went down to the Clark County Credit Union, and I did it for him.
And I put his paychecks into savings so he can't spend it.
I'm not even sure he knew he got paid.
So you don't trust my son - with money.
- Well, he's not good with it.
But no one has to be good at everything.
Oh, he didn't even get you a diamond.
Oh, no, I picked that.
I like blue.
Well, I hate it.
Okay.
I know.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Honey.
I know, sweetie.
You okay? I guess you have two of them.
Um He's better in the hallway.
Hey, bud.
Hey, bud, look! It's okay.
Um, I also have a check for Sam.
Uh, is it my job now to send him the money he somehow still collects while I'm here working? Great.
Um, also, uh, Jenny came to me today with what I think is a very reasonable request for a raise.
Um, I went through the budget that you and Sam made, and I found the money in what appears to be a line item for cigarettes and Dr.
Pepper.
What's happening? "Fine with Jenny raise.
Not wasting my voice on this.
" Do you have a sore throat? I'm sorr Please, rest your voice.
That's so smart.
In fact, you know what? You don't have to talk at all.
I'll just What I wanna say is this: Um, you are a dickhead, and I don't trust you anymore.
And Sam may have run off to LA, but I am still here.
And I brought my fucking kid.
So there's not a single day I will not be in your face.
And I have very strong vocal chords! I wish more men would go on vocal rest.
Randy, it's time to go! Oh, my God.
Oh, hey there.
Ooh! Hey, big spender.
You with somebody? You looking to get lucky - like the rest of us? Okay.
- Sir.
You can't have a baby on the casino floor.
That's why I picked him up.
Oh, I got you, sweetheart.
Okay, buddy.
- Oh, my God! There he is! I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
So sorry! Oh, my God.
He just got on the elevator.
I was right there and then, boom, the doors just closed.
Hey, I know you.
You were on my 11:40 flight.
Oh, yeah.
Didn't you have a beard? Uh, yeah.
Turned in my hobo card.
I vaguely remember losing my cool in front of you.
Unlike, say, now.
You know, I haven't seen you in a while.
Yeah, well, I Because I made the very smart decision to, um bring my baby to the casino where I work.
And, as you can see, it's going exactly according to plan.
- Thank you for finding him.
- You're welcome.
Um, can I buy you a, uh, "thank you" drink? How about I buy you a "you're welcome" dinner instead? Are you asking me on a date while I am holding my screaming son in a casino? Yeah.
You got a good babysitter? Um Yeah.
I've got some options.
All right, I'll pick you up at 8:00.
Uh-huh.
Should you be smoking in here? There's an ashtray.
I think that's an award.
Hi, sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi.
Jonathan.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, I'm Sam.
Uh, this is my daughter, Justine.
She wrote a good script.
It's, uh, you know, it's a very personal, uh You know what, she'll tell you.
She'll tell you.
Um Uh, sure, yeah.
Uh Well, the character is kinda based on me.
Um About a year ago, I moved out here to Hollywood to meet my father for the first time.
Only - he didn't know he had a daughter.
- Shit.
Yeah.
It was weird.
And all I knew were his movies, which I worshiped.
And, you know, he didn't know what to do with me 'cause what 50-year-old man wants a teenage daughter dropped on them? So he made me enroll in high school, and basically the only way I survived, really, was because I met this group of AV club nerds.
And they weren't the kind of nerds who were trying to get laid by the hot girls.
They were these weird, complicated kids, who were trying to make these little movies in a in a town of people trying to make big movies.
And that made me think about how weird it is to grow up in LA, you know? And even though I was only here for a few months, I mean Well, it's great.
We love it.
And we'd love to do this with you.
Awesome.
Sorry, uh, what does that mean exactly? Uh, we'd like to make your movie.
Uh, so please don't sell it to anyone else.
'Cause, um Yeah.
And we'll get an official offer out, like, next week.
Um, do you have an agent? Oh, my God! Did that just happen? I mean, is this what it feels like when your entire life changes? How much money do think they're gonna give us? How do you How do you get an agent? How are you so calm right now? Holy shit! I mean, we have to celebrate.
Where should we go? You know, I gotta I gotta go see a guy about a thing.
Why don't you just take the car, and and I'll get a cab, okay? - Seriously? - Yeah.
What the fuck? Who am I supposed to celebrate with? I don't know.
Billy? Uh, maybe some of the other people you wrote the movie about? I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking know.
What is your problem? You're being so weird right now.
He-Hey Justine What? I just want you to know that I'm I'm very proud of you.
And I love you.
Okay.
Whatever.
Love you, too.
- Hey Hey, buddy.
- Yeah? Hey, can you call me an ambulance, please? - Call me an ambulance.
Okay? - Yeah, sure.
Sure.
Ah, fuck.
Ah, come on.
Come on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
How many dresses did you get? Are you okay? Marty, can you hear us? I'm here, Mrs.
Howard.
Is that our business manager? And me.
Allen.
I'm here, too.
Who's Allen? The family lawyer.
What is this, a coup? Darling, as much as I'd like it, you can't be on an allowance forever.
You're a grown, married man now.
I knew it! Fine! Cut me off! We're doing great out here, Birdie.
We can support ourselves.
You can't banish us.
I banish you! Oh, sit down, you're embarrassing yourself.
We're not on Falcon Crest.
So you do watch television.
Marty? Sebastian, when your grandfather set up your trust, he allowed for a stipulation that if you were to be married, you would bypass your living trustees, your, uh, mother in this case, and unlock the whole of your funds.
Meaning? This is Allen now.
The full 40 million dollars, including the assets of your inheritance, are yours to do with what you'd like.
Forty million dollars? You're joking.
Oh, yes, I'm the comic relief.
- Hold on, hold on.
- What? See? It's nice to be on a date with a grown-up for a change.
Sure, babies can be a handful.
Yes, babies.
That's exactly who I was talking about.
You know, I think I missed out on that stage.
How old are your boys? Twenty-four now, Uh, 20 and 18.
I missed a lot of it.
Uh, that's on me, though.
My ex is a good woman, excellent mother.
She used to say I was overextended and unfocused.
Well in truth, I'm just a a dabbler.
What do you dabble in, Tex? Well, I had a ranch.
I have ranches.
Oh, you're a rancher.
I'm not a rancher.
I have this ranch, and the ranch had a mine on it.
And, long story short, that mine produced a semiconductor that they use in radios, which led me to what you call media but I like to call it buying up little radio stations, and we're in expansion mode now, so What do you do, Debbie? Um, the same.
No, I I'm also a dabbler.
Uh I just make way less money.
Um, I I'm a producer and an actress.
Uh And I'm a wrestler.
Uh? - I, uh, produce a wrestling show.
- What? At the Fan-Tan, that I also happen to star in.
You're having dinner with Liberty Belle, one of the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.
Oh, my God! - Uh-huh.
- I thought I was sitting with somebody special.
Yeah, well No, I am I'm trying to to transition more into the producing side of things.
It's just, um I don't know, it hasn't been easy.
And Especially with a kid.
Mostly, I'm just staring down the barrel of life, wondering what the hell I'm aiming for, Tex.
You know my name's not really Tex, right? Oh, my God.
What? Why did I make up that name? I don't know, the hat, or the accent, or some such.
You're an imaginative woman.
- I'm actually from Wyoming.
- No, no, no! Yeah, up the street.
Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
Jesus.
- Ah What's your name? It's But James.
- No.
- James Joseph McCready.
JJ.
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
No, stay.
- Okay, people call you JJ? - They call me JJ.
They do.
God.
Can I still call you Tex? You can call me whatever you want.
Okay, Mr.
Sylvia, so the results from your EKG confirm that you've had a cardiac event.
Just say heart attack.
Yes.
A heart attack.
Believe it or not, you're lucky.
But consider this a wake-up call.
At your age, it's time to start laying off the alcohol and cigarettes.
You'll have to change your diet, start exercising.
That's what I've been doing.
I've been doing that.
Well, then you're on the right path.
We're gonna keep you overnight for observation, all right? Is there anyone you want us to call? No.
As soon as I get back, I'll put you in touch with our group at Morgan Stanley.
We'll get your portfolio all set up.
Eventually, you're gonna need a will.
Always thinking ahead.
Thank you, Birdie.
What's happening? You're married.
I am.
I didn't feel a thing at your sister's wedding, but I think I would have at yours.
Well, we can always do something when I get back.
Oh, we will.
If you think you're getting away without me throwing a giant party that you'll hate, you're out of your mind.
Consider having children while I'm still young enough to be mistaken for their mother.
- Thank you so much for everything.
- Oh.
And for making Bash.
Oh.
Keep him interested.
However you see fit.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Um How's about you come back to my hotel, and I buy you that drink? You're always trying to get me drunk.
Yeah.
How about, instead of a drink tonight, you let me take you out again tomorrow? That's moving a little fast for me, Tex from Wyoming.
- You just invited me to your hotel.
- Oh, yeah.
I like kissing wrestlers.
- Okay.
Tomorrow night.
- Okay.
Jesus Christ.
What the hell? I was about to call the police.
Where were you? Sorry.
Old habits die hard.
You're such a bastard.
I wanted to celebrate with you.
Instead, I had the worst night with Billy.
Oh, yeah? - How's Billy? - Fat.
I mean, still cute, but he definitely put on a few.
And he dragged me to some terrible club that smelled like feet, and I ended up helping some girl look for her purse for, like, an hour.
Yeah? You should put that in your movie.
Our movie.
No.
It's your journey now, kid.
So, what? You don't want to direct it? What are you talking about? I fucking knew it.
You were so wrapped up in your old shit with what's-his-face, the Zen prick, you weren't even listening.
And you want me to give a shit? Okay, man.
What? What? I told that guy I wouldn't do it without you directing.
Why would you say that? Will you calm down? What is the matter with you? I can't fucking direct.
I haven't directed anything good in years.
I mean, maybe ever.
Bullshit! And too bad.
Justine, you don't have to bring me with you, all right? I'm dead weight.
So, you can believe in me, but I can't believe in you? I I I wrote a movie, I sold that movie, I demanded you direct that movie, so we're making that fucking movie! Together.
Or at least until we both get found out and fired.
Jesus Christ! We should celebrate! Yeah! That's what I've been trying to say, jerk.
We're making a movie.
Yeah, we're making a movie.
Mm! Let's make a fucking movie.