Good Luck Charlie s03e07 Episode Script
Special Delivery
Hey, Charlie.
So, exciting times for the Duncan family.
Tomorrow, you turn three! Yay! And if that wasn't exciting enough, one week ago, the new baby was due.
Let's see how that baby's doing now.
I want you out! Duncan kid number five is late.
And Duncan kid number two is getting on my nerves.
Moving on.
Anyway, I'm hoping for a baby girl.
I'm hoping for a baby boy.
Yeah.
Me too.
I want a younger brother to pick on.
I'm tired of picking on my older brother.
Oh, boy or girl doesn't matter to me.
Whatever Mom wants, I want.
Don't touch me.
Never again, honey.
Once again I've kept the camera on just a smidge too long.
Guys, this is all just too much.
The new baby's about to come, and Charlie's birthday tomorrow.
Just so long as they don't happen on the same day.
- What do you mean? - Well, think about it.
Wouldn't it be kind of sad if Charlie had to share her birthday with the new baby? I'll tell you what's sad.
We're out of French Toast sticks.
Teddy, honey, the baby's gonna come when the baby wants to come.
But if it does happen to be tomorrow, I need everyone to help out with Charlie's birthday.
Mom, I'm willing to help out by doing what I always do.
You don't ever do anything.
And nobody does it better.
All I'm saying is if somebody goes to the trouble of inventing French Toast sticks, the least we could do is buy their product.
Bob, honey, you took care of those things I asked you to handle, right? I.
.
Certainly did.
Why was there a pause between "I" and "certainly"? No pause.
Just my normal speaking.
.
Talk voice pattern.
So, you bought the baby's new car seat, and the doll Charlie wants for her birthday? Honey.
I did it all.
Okay? Mission accomplished.
I.
.
Believe you.
Uh, Gabe? - Yeah? - Listen, here is, uh.
.
Here's 50 bucks.
I need you to go down to the mall.
I need you to get that doll for Charlie.
Dad, why can't you do it? Because I gotta buy a car seat.
You know how some little girls grow up and pick a husband who's just like their Daddy? I'm gonna go a different way.
Today's all burnt toast running late and Dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite.
Grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby there's no maybe.
Everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
Hey, honey? Hey, come on.
There's something I want to show you.
Honey, come on.
I'm moving as fast as I can.
Wide load coming through.
Look.
Look.
New car seat is in.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Bought it three days ago.
Well, whatever.
Looks a little crowded in here.
Well, honey, we're gonna be up front.
Who cares what happens in the back? Bob, I don't think there's enough room.
Sure there is.
No, Bob, with five kids, I think we might need a new car.
Slow down.
No, no, no, no, no.
Enough room in here for everybody.
Look, Charlie sits here, new baby over there, one kid back there, the other over there.
Done.
Problem solved.
You forgot a kid.
Which one? I don't know.
But I know there are five.
This can work.
Let me show you.
.
Kids! There, see? Piece of cake.
How's everybody doing back there? PJ keeps poking me with his rib.
It's called breathing.
Honey, Gabe doesn't have a seat belt.
Or a seat.
He'll be fine.
Hey, Charlie? Are you comfortable? No.
- Bob? - Yes? - New car? - New car.
Okay.
Here we go.
Oh.
Hey, Mom? Oh.
.
What are you doing? Painting my toenails.
Just because I can't see them doesn't mean they shouldn't look good.
Oh.
Well in that case, you might want to consider clipping them.
Can I help you? Well, I am actually here to help you.
So, Mom, I know that you've been very anxious to get this baby out, so I went online and I looked up some natural ways to induce labor.
Ooh, like what? Well, uh, there's a bunch of techniques, but the first one includes.
.
Boo! What was that? I was trying to scare the baby out.
Well, it didn't work.
Okay.
Fine, well, there's always some other stuff we can try, like.
.
Boo! Stop that.
Okay, you know, it's a baby.
It's not the hiccups.
So, what do you want to do today? Well, it's a beautiful day.
Sun shining, the birds are chirping.
.
So, video games in the basement? Whew! Dude, you had me scared there for a minute with all the outdoor talk.
All right, let's go.
Wait.
I promised my Dad I'd go to the store and buy Charlie a stupid doll.
And I told my Mom I was at the library.
So what? No, Jake, I really have to go do this.
So, who's stopping you? I'll wait right here.
Yeah, you know I'm not allowed to leave you in this house alone.
Come on.
Man, you take one bubble bath, you get labeled.
What's all this? I got us some yoga balls.
Another way to induce labor is through bouncing.
All right, I'll try anything.
Hit it, Charlie.
Feel anything? I feel silly.
You look silly.
Oh.
Teddy, this isn't going to work.
Do it again.
Dude, I can't be seen doll shopping.
I'll lose my street cred.
Yeah, I think you lost that when you started giggling in the bra Department.
Let's just buy this thing and get out of here.
Kuddle Me Katie? That's stupid.
Goo-goo.
It said goo-goo.
Aw.
Whoa, look what they just released.
Attack of the Zartians.
Oh, right.
I heard about this game.
Zartians are martians that were bitten by zombies.
Ewe.
That's disgusting.
What are they covered in, blood or puke? Hopefully both.
Let's get it.
It's 50 bucks.
I don't have 50 bucks.
Yeah, you do.
Wait a minute.
- Are you.
.
Are you saying.
.
- That's exactly what I'm saying.
You're gonna buy this game with the doll money.
Yeah.
- And then what? - We play it.
- After we play it? - We play it again.
Well, what about Charlie's doll? I promised my Dad.
Dude, we're teenagers now.
We're supposed to be rebels.
Your Mom still picks out your underwear.
And sometimes I wear it backwards.
On purpose.
You know what? I'm gonna buy this game, but just so we can stop talking about your underwear.
Hey, Mom.
How you doing? I am tired, bloated, cranky, I have never been more miserable in my life.
That's nice.
Hey.
.
I just did a quick freezer check.
.
Still not seeing the French Toast sticks.
I bought you some.
Yeah, you bought French Toast squares.
Well, if you want sticks, then just take the squares and cut them in half.
Cut them in half? But then you cut the fun in half.
Honey, you'll figure it out.
I guess I could take the cut squares.
.
And glue them together lengthwise with syrup.
.
Or would jam make a better adhesive? I'd better nap on it.
That's your big brother, PJ.
He's not the smartest.
.
That's it.
Hey, Mom.
You hungry? Oh, no.
Honey, I couldn't eat anything.
I'm so big, I just.
.
I just.
.
What you got? Vindaloo Pepper Curry from the new Indian place.
Because I read that another way to induce labor is with spicy food.
Is it really that spicy? Yeah, so spicy, they made me sign a waiver.
And attend a brief seminar.
Let's try it.
Dad! I set that down, like, one minute ago.
Stuff's got some kick to it.
What else you got? So, uh, how is belly dancing supposed to help? Well, they say that it's good to exercise your core, and.
.
Let's face it, right now.
.
You're all core.
Oh.
.
- Check it out, this is fun.
- Mm-hum.
And surprise, surprise.
I'm good at it.
Feel anything, Mom? Feel like I'm kicking your butt at belly dancing.
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
- Bring it.
- Consider it brung.
Uh, yeah.
- Oh! - Yeah! Yeah, you just got served.
In a bowl, with a spoon.
Didn't realize belly dancing had so much trash talk.
Man, this is frustrating.
Yeah, I know.
They really need to make bigger keyboards for people with big, sausage-y fingers.
What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I'm trying to figure out what kind of car to buy.
Problem is, you got too many choices.
And then you gotta figure out.
.
Mileage and.
.
Color, safety, reliability.
.
You know what? This is impossible.
Well, what about this one? I mean, look how happy it's making that family.
Oh, and they're going across the country.
Mount Rushmore.
The Grand Canyon.
.
Grandma's house.
PJ.
Come on, it's just a commercial, you.
.
Hey, they brought her a puppy.
Aw.
Oh, it's just what she wanted.
We have to get that car.
If we want to be happy.
Okay, how is a salad going to help me go into labor? Not the salad, the dressing.
See, this place is famous for it.
They have this special secret ingredient that just pops a kid right out.
It's worth a shot.
Besides, I haven't eaten in like, 15 minutes.
Hi.
Can I help you? Yes.
A table for two, please.
Sure, can I get your name? We have about a three-hour wait.
Three hours? But we need a table right away.
Yes, I'm pregnant.
It's kind of a special circumstance.
Oh, well, in that case, you can wait in our special section.
Doh! This is ridiculous.
I can't believe they're making us stand here like this.
I'm seven days overdue.
Seven days? Try nine days on for size.
I'm looking back at seven days like it was a party.
Oh, yeah? I have enough gas to fly to London.
Try China.
How's that table coming? - All right.
- I can't wait to play this game.
Yeah, I was getting that from the way you opened the box with your teeth.
That's how I open everything.
Why do you think I need braces? Now, if my Dad comes down.
And asks where the doll is, what am I gonna tell him? Okay, I got it.
I'll tell him that.
.
On the way to the toy store, I got beat up by a gang.
And.
.
They stole the money and I'm lucky to be alive.
Dude, it's your Dad we're talking about.
Why are you working so hard on a story? You know what? You're right.
Why am I worried about Charlie's stupid doll anyway? All right, here.
Uh-oh.
What's that? "Warning.
" "Contains scenes of graphic violence.
" "Parental supervision strongly advised.
" Yes! Well, I retain so much water, I slosh when I walk.
I slosh when I sleep.
Oh, you sleep? Oh, Mom.
I just thought of a great idea.
Why don't we get the salads to go? Don't you think we thought of that? They don't do takeout here.
Sure hope your next kid is smarter than this one.
Hey.
Nobody insults my kids but me.
You want a piece of me? - You want a piece of me? - Okay! Ladies, let's break it up.
Let's just go, okay? I can't do this for three hours.
What? No, Mom.
We have to stick it out.
The baby has to be born today.
Tomorrow's Charlie's birthday.
Honey, I know that.
But we're out of options here.
Or are we? Look over there.
That must be the salad dressing.
Okay, so you create a distraction for everyone, and I'll go get it.
We're going to steal salad dressing? The student becomes the master.
Oh my! Oh my! It's happening.
Oh, Mama's having a baby child! Okay, just stay calm.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Okay.
- Just breathe.
Oh, you know what? False alarm.
Sorry.
Everybody go back to your salads, nothing more to see here.
Oh.
Let's get out of here.
Hey! Stop them, they've got the dressing.
Run for it! Oh.
Okay.
Hey, everybody relax.
Yeah, no need to get crazy, okay, there's plenty of dressing for everyone.
I am having twins.
I want double.
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna need to see an ultrasound.
Hey, hey! Back off.
One more step and the dressing gets it.
That's right.
You heard her.
Now everyone waddle away real nice-like.
You first, twinsie.
So, Bob.
What got you interested in the Serenade? Well, the mileage, safety, reliability.
.
Was it the puppy? Yeah.
So, what do you think? Rides pretty smooth, doesn't it? Yeah, it's.
.
It's okay, I guess.
Are you kidding? I feel like I'm floating on a cloud.
A cloud with seat warmers.
So that's why I'm so toasty down there.
Sounds like your boy likes the car.
Six cup holders?! Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! What do you say, Bob? You want to go inside and we'll crunch some numbers? Um.
.
Could you give us a minute, Stu? Sure thing.
I'll be in the showroom.
PJ! What are you doing? You're blowing the whole deal! What do you mean? If Stu thinks we like the car, we're gonna have to pay more for it.
We gotta make him think we don't want the car.
So there's a chance we won't buy it? Are you kidding me? I love this thing! Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! Never knew pregnant women could be so vicious.
It was horrifying.
That one gal chewed off a couple of my buttons.
Why don't we go downstairs again and try bouncing.
.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sweetie, we are done.
Okay, we've tried everything.
This baby is gonna come when it wants to.
I guess you're right.
And if it is born on Charlie's birthday, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
What do you mean? Well, I don't know, with.
.
Five kids, maybe it wouldn't hurt to double up on birthdays.
You know.
.
Less parties, less presents, less headaches.
.
Hey.
Maybe I can tell Charlie and the baby they were born on December 25.
So, follow my lead.
Play it cool.
Oh, and whatever happens, don't get too overenthusiastic.
Don't worry about me, big guy.
I will be cool with a capital "K.
" And don't do any spelling.
Check.
Have a seat, fellas.
In these chairs? Forget it.
They're pieces of junk.
We're not buying the chairs.
Darn right we're not.
It's not even that fun.
So, what do you think, Bob? Will you be driving home in a Serenade today? Well, uh.
.
I don't know, Stu.
I guess it, uh, depends on what you can do for me.
Yeah, Stu.
What have you got? Bring it.
Does this price work for you? Does.
.
This work for you? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
PJ, PJ? We actually have to look at the offers.
Amateur move, but go ahead.
Look, Bob.
I want to make you happy.
What do you think about this? This is your offer? PJ.
.
This is your beef, Stu? Get it? "Beef Stu"? - Yeah, we.
.
We all got it.
- Yeah.
Come on, Dad.
We are out of here.
Dad? You coming? I, uh.
.
Chose the wrong child to come with me today, Stu.
I.
.
I apologize.
How long have we been playing? Six hours.
My eyes are burning.
You should blink once in a while.
That's exactly what they want.
Who are you working for, the Zartian King? Easy, dude.
Your phone's ringing again.
It's just my Mom wondering where I am.
Off to voice mail.
I'm gonna go down this alley and check for mutants.
Cover me.
You having fun, Gabe? Whoa.
Did you see that? What? My Dad.
He was.
.
He was in the game and he was talking to me.
That's normal.
After six hours, you're gonna hallucinate.
Really? Yeah.
It was a warning on the box.
You've just got to power through it.
Okay.
You're right.
Just got to focus.
We got to get that level nine monster.
It's your baby sister's birthday.
All she wanted was a doll.
Maybe you're the monster.
Ah! What are you doing? We're done.
And tomorrow we're taking the game back and getting Charlie her doll.
What's wrong with your hands? I don't know.
Help me.
Oh, happy first birthday, you adorable baby.
Aw.
Aw, look at that smile.
- Aw.
- Check out those cheeks.
I could just eat you up.
You are the cutest baby ever.
Yes, you are.
It's my birthday, too.
Oh, and Daddy loves you.
That's right, Daddy lu-lu you.
Aw.
I'm sad.
Oh, my little angel.
I could never forget you.
I'll never forget you either, baby.
Not you.
Teddy.
Morning, Mom.
Teddy, I can't have this baby today.
Charlie needs to have her special birthday.
That's what I've been saying all along.
Yeah, but now I'm saying it.
Okay, well, what made you change your mind? I had this horrible dream last night.
The entire family was just being so mean to Charlie.
.
Ignoring her.
Even you.
What were you doing in the dream? I was doing what I always do.
Fighting bravely to make things right.
Okay, look, the point is I can't have the baby today.
Charlie needs her special day.
All right, well, however you got here, I totally agree.
We'll just make sure that you don't have the baby until tomorrow.
Exactly.
Okay.
Okay, operation get baby out.
Has officially become operation keep baby in.
I need complete rest and relaxation, okay? Nothing but peace.
.
Calm.
And quiet.
Morning, honey.
I said quiet! Yeah.
Another day in paradise.
Next.
Hi, we'd like to return this game, please.
Has it been opened? Nope.
Then why is it covered in tape and what appears to be teeth marks? Okay.
I'm gonna level with you.
We bought this game by accident.
And then, Jake here.
.
Accidentally opened it.
And then we accidentally played it for six hours.
Guys, I'm sorry, you can't return this.
Oh, no, we don't want to return it.
We want to exchange it.
.
For money.
Next.
Oh, this is bad.
What am I gonna do? Only thing you can do.
You gotta steal the doll.
Steal the doll? But that's wrong.
Well, exactly.
You know the old saying, "two wrongs make a right.
" No, it's "two wrongs don't make a right.
" Oh.
Well, then, you know the other old saying.
.
"Sometimes you gotta steal a doll.
" I'm not gonna steal the doll.
Well, can we at least steal candy? No.
Then what's the point of even going to the store? Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! Yeah.
Oh.
Well.
.
Hope you learned something from the whole car-buying experience.
Sure did, Dad.
What's that, son? Can't we just leave it at a "sure did, Dad"? I'm talking about the negotiation.
Look.
.
Someday you're gonna have a family of your own.
And you're gonna have to buy a new car.
And you know what you're gonna say to your kid? The car doesn't fit in the garage? What? Then I'll say, "it's not my fault, son.
" I learned all this from your grandpa Bob.
" And he'll say, "oh, that explains it.
" Then we'll laugh and get ice cream.
Well, you asked.
Then everybody was being really mean to you.
But don't you worry, I did what I always do.
Fought bravely to make things right.
Charlie, you have the best Mommy in the world.
Even in a dream.
Charlie? I made you a special birthday lunch.
It's in the kitchen.
Let's go get it.
Yay.
Okay, um, Mom.
.
I was just wondering about Charlie's birthday party.
Oh, honey.
I have to rest.
Would you please take care of that for me? Yeah, I got it.
Everything you need to know is in a file in the kitchen.
Got it.
Teddy, you have really been there for me, and I just.
.
I'm just so thankful, and.
.
You're my rock.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Yeah.
How are the hormones, Mom? All over the place.
Charlie, how'd you like your special pony-shaped sandwich? All right.
Well.
Glad I spent an hour cutting it out.
Party folder.
Hey, Charlie, come with me.
Ready? Oh! I got 'cha.
Okay.
What? Mom forgot to mail the invitations? Do you know what this means? No.
Good.
You wait here.
I'll be right back.
Dad, hi.
Okay.
Big problem.
.
So you know how Mom's been kinda spacey with the pregnancy? Well, she forgot to plan Charlie's birthday party.
You think you got problems? The garage is 31 inches too short.
Oh, the garage is too short? Now it's the garage's fault? Yeah, car-buying expert here didn't measure the.
.
She doesn't need to know the details.
She has her own situation.
Didn't you hear? Mom made a big, dumb mistake.
Well, so what.
.
What am I gonna do? Charlie's in there waiting for her party.
Okay, all right.
Give me, uh.
.
Give me a minute to think.
Uh, bu.
.
Bu.
Bu.
.
Ba.
.
Okay.
.
Give me another minute.
Well, I.
.
I guess I could try calling some of Charlie's friends.
See if they can come over.
Pick up a cake at the store.
.
Before you buy the cake.
.
You might wanna measure the fridge.
Know what I'm saying, Dad? Hi uh, Mrs.
Dickson, it's Teddy Duncan calling.
Listen, so I'm throwing together a little last-minute birthday party for Charlie, and I was just wondering if Megan could come.
Oh.
Chicken pox.
Poor little thing.
But, you know, she doesn't have to stay for long.
Okay.
Okay, I understand.
Oh, you know what? As long as I've got you.
.
Is there any chance that Mr.
Dickson is a.
.
Is a clown or a magician, or.
.
Hello? Hi um, is this Cake World? Yeah, yeah, hi.
I need a cake.
Um.
.
You're out of cake? You realize you're called "Cake World.
" Which means, right now, you're just "world.
" Yeah, well, I don't like your attitude, either.
Hello? Hi, uh.
.
Hi, is this "Al's Amazing Animals"? Yeah um, listen, I know that it's last minute, but I'm trying to put together this birthday party.
What's the most amazing animal you've got? A monkey who does tricks for cake.
Yeah, we're gonna have a problem.
Um, by any chance.
.
Does the monkey come with its own cake? Hello? Who's coming to my party? You know, I'm really not sure.
Hey, you know who might be fun to have at your party? Who? The kids from the playground.
Yay! What kids? Well, we won't know until we get there.
Yay! Woo-hoo! Okay, that's as far as I can go.
How's she looking? It's a she? How can you tell? Could you just press the button? All right, here it goes.
Looking good.
Looking good.
So close.
Hm.
PJ was right.
The squares aren't as much fun as the sticks.
But I'm gonna eat some more anyway.
So, what are you gonna do? Well, what choice do I have? I have to tell my Dad the truth.
The truth? Dude, that game messed you up.
You know, if you came in and shared some of the blame, they'd probably go easier on me.
Guess we'll never know.
Gotta admit.
.
I like that kid's style.
Okay, you.
You stay right where you are.
Little more.
Stop! Little more.
Stop! Little more.
Stop! Okay.
We're getting there.
No, we're not! This is ridiculous.
Dad, calm down.
No, that's it! That's it! I'm done.
Done! Taking this tank back to the.
.
Dealer! Dealer's that way.
Uh-oh.
Oh! Oh! It looks bad from this side, too.
Dad, I have to tell you some.
.
It can wait.
Uh-oh.
Hey, Dad.
Great news.
Garage door closes.
Guys, Charlie's birthday party is.
.
Not our biggest problem.
Uh-oh.
Why do you keep saying, "uh-oh"? Why do you think? The baby's coming.
- Oh! - Okay, all right.
We gotta get Mom to the hospital.
Come on, honey.
Get in the car.
Car's in the wall, Bob.
Come on, I'll drive.
Ed's out front.
Ed? Who's Ed? That's the name of my car.
Ed? So is that short for uh, Edward? Edgar? Edwin? - Ed.
.
Ed.
.
- Bigger issues, PJ! Okay, we really need to go.
Okay, come on.
You guys have to throw Charlie her birthday party.
I'm gonna drive Mom to the hospital.
Oh, why do we always get the hard things? You know.
.
I always thought you would be the first one to drive a car into the kitchen.
Me, too.
Hey, how you doing, honey? It'd be a lot better if you were quiet! She wants me to be quiet.
Gotta be quiet.
Why can't I be quiet? Dad, were you this panicky when the rest of us were born? Uh.
.
No.
Because the first four times we did this, we were at a hospital! We did this, yeah.
Yeah, you wanna take over?! Okay, everybody relax.
We're on our way.
We're gonna be there shortly.
Right after this.
.
Slight delay.
You're outta gas.
You're outta gas! Aw, Teddy.
How could you be so irresponsible?! Says the guy who drove a car into our kitchen.
Close your eyes.
There you go.
Okay.
Ready? Keep 'em closed.
Okay.
And.
.
Surprise! Hey! Look who came to your party, Charlie.
Three of your oldest and bestest friends.
Aw.
Tennis ball head.
Aw.
Scary clown.
Ah! And.
.
Badly-damaged monkey.
I.
.
I don't think she likes it.
Well, she's.
.
She's about to.
- Oh, okay.
- Because.
.
Ta-da! Happy Birthday! It's your special birthday cake.
That's not cake.
It's your special birthday bagel.
Mm, bagel.
Tennis ball head's.
Favorite.
Mm.
Yum, yum, yum.
Where's my present? Yeah, did you get the Kuddle Me Katie doll? What is this, "60 minutes"? Just enjoy the party.
Charlie.
.
We have got some really fun party games planned.
Like.
.
Watching TV! Yay! I want princesses.
Really? Uh, did Mommy promise you a Princess? Mommy said, "two princesses, please.
" All right, you heard her, Princess.
Make it happen.
Mommy said two.
Just breathe.
I'm sure Dad will find us a ride soon.
Yeah, because he's so good with cars? Hey, sorry it took so long.
You went for ice cream at a time like this? Uh, well.
.
Actually, the ice cream came to me.
You're taking me to the hospital in an ice cream truck? You said to flag down the first thing I saw.
Oh what's the matter, the giant hot dog wouldn't stop? Yeah.
Okay.
Push, Teddy.
Welcome aboard Mustachio Pete's, the ice cream truck with the pistachio treats.
FYI, pistachio has been discontinued.
Bob, I need to lie down.
- Okay.
- You can use that bean bag chair.
It's where Mustachio Pete takes his 10 minute breaks.
.
Which Mustachio Pete is allowed by law.
You're not gonna keep referring to yourself in the third person, are you? Yes, he is.
That's Mustachio Pete's trademark.
That, and the pistachio, which, FYI.
.
Has been discontinued.
We get.
.
We.
.
Okay.
Come on, honey.
If things get bad back there, bite down on a rocket pop.
Ooh, cool, I will.
He meant me! Can we get going? It's an emergency.
Emergency? This calls for the fast-paced music.
Ready, Charlie? It's Princess time! Uh-oh.
I seem to have lost my sister Princess.
Excuse me.
- Get out there! - But I feel stupid! - You think I don't? - You're used to it! Go! Dance, Princess.
Left.
.
And right.
And we cast a spell.
And we twirl and we twirl.
And we curtsy! Aw.
Look at that smile.
We gotta go again.
What? But, this time, stay with me.
And five, six, seven, eight.
Left, right.
.
Can't you go any faster? We're already doing 23.
I'm giving her all she's got.
Okay.
Baby's close.
How much further? You're not helping yourself to any freebies back there, are you, Bob? I'm a stress eater, Pete.
You don't have to tell me about stress.
The ice cream truck business is dog-eat-dog.
I got Side Burn Sam nipping at my heels.
Could we just focus on the road, Pete? But both princesses are so beautiful.
How could I ever choose just one to be my wife? Dude, that's your line.
Oh, right.
Well, I guess there's only one way.
See whose foot fits the magic slipper.
Okay.
'Tis not I whose foot doth fit the slipper.
Yes, 'tis not me, either.
But, sister Princess, you have not tried on the slipper.
I doth not want to.
Oh, yeth you will.
Or I will hurteth you.
With my fitht.
Oh, joy.
It fits.
My bride! At long last I have found you.
And they seal their love.
.
With a kiss.
- Okay, we're done! - Bah! Yeah, not quite.
We're gonna go again from the top.
Maybe you'll get it right this time.
Ah! Hey.
.
I'm gonna need your help back here.
Dad, I don't know how to deliver a baby.
Honey, you just gotta help me.
All alone back here! Just sayin'.
Okay.
- How you doing, Mom? - Hey.
This baby is coming now.
Then.
.
Let's have a baby.
Okay, Teddy.
Here we go.
Oh, wow.
Well, hello, number five.
What a beautiful baby boy.
Aw.
Isn't he precious? We got here as fast as we could.
Hi.
There's the birthday girl.
Happy Birthday.
Charlie, come here.
Meet your new baby brother.
Brother? Cool.
Hey, what name did you pick? Well, we decided to call him.
.
Toby.
Hey.
I came up with that one.
Nice.
Welcome to the world, Toby Duncan.
Hey, quick question.
Why are you guys dressed like that? Oh, because.
.
Mom promised Charlie princesses for her party.
I never promised Charlie princesses.
Charlie, did you trick us? Sweetie, did you get your special birthday present, Kuddle Me Katie? No, Mommy.
What? Why not? Bob? Gabe? PJ? Teddy? Gabe? Oh.
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
Wasn't much of a birthday, was it? That's okay, Mommy.
Now, don't you worry.
We will get you your special present.
I like this present.
Okay, listen up.
Here's the plan.
So, when they come through the front door, you guys.
.
Are gonna hold up this banner.
Here.
Take that.
And Charlie, you're gonna give Mommy these balloons.
And I'm gonna blow the noisemaker.
And then we're all gonna sing "welcome home, Toby" To the tune of the rock classic.
.
"Our House.
" Why do you get to blow the noisemaker? And why are we making such a big deal outta this? They bring a new baby home like every six months.
Yeah.
This is what we always do.
We did it for Charlie.
Did you do it for me? Uh.
.
Yeah.
- You're lying! - No, I'm not.
Yeah, you are.
You.
.
You know what? If you didn't do it for me, I'm not doing it for Toby.
No matter how cool his name is.
Gabe, just pick up the stupid banner and join in this very touching family celebration! You can't make me.
Well, if he's not gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it.
And if we not all gonna do it together.
.
.
.
It looks like Charlie could have made it.
Good to be home.
This is what it's all about, isn't it? Now I see.
.
So let me show you around.
This is your home, Toby.
Yeah.
This is the living room.
And this is your family.
Tell me who's your angel.
Who's your shoulder, to hold your boulders.
Tell me when it's raining.
Who will warm you.
Who will hold you.
You might be broken.
With all these cracks in your skin.
You might be broken that's where the light gets in.
You're something beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
You're something beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
And I just want you to know.
You to know.
You to know.
That you're not alone.
You're not alone.
Hey, what you doing? Giving Toby a proper welcome home.
Well, Charlie, it's been kind of a big week.
I uh, I helped deliver a baby.
.
Our little brother, Toby.
.
And you finally got your Kuddle Me Katie.
Which you lost interest in five minutes after you got it.
Doesn't matter, Gabe's still paying for it.
He worked out a little agreement with Mom and Dad.
Gabe! Diaper change! And it's a doozy.
Coming.
Wish him good luck, Charlie.
Isn't he adorable? Oh, little Toby.
He sure is.
Oh, by the way, what's his middle name? Wan-Kenobi.
Toby Wan-Kenobi? Yeah.
Yup, your Dad's a big fan of the movies.
Speaking of, where is Dad? I'm ready to go home.
He said he was just going to pull the car up.
Here he is now.
Hey! Ready to go hun? Yes, babe how did you do that? We're on the eighth floor.
Hey, this baby's got some pick-up.
Yeah.
Serenade! Serenade! PJ Darth Duncan! You're going to wake your baby brother.
Oh, sorry.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
So, exciting times for the Duncan family.
Tomorrow, you turn three! Yay! And if that wasn't exciting enough, one week ago, the new baby was due.
Let's see how that baby's doing now.
I want you out! Duncan kid number five is late.
And Duncan kid number two is getting on my nerves.
Moving on.
Anyway, I'm hoping for a baby girl.
I'm hoping for a baby boy.
Yeah.
Me too.
I want a younger brother to pick on.
I'm tired of picking on my older brother.
Oh, boy or girl doesn't matter to me.
Whatever Mom wants, I want.
Don't touch me.
Never again, honey.
Once again I've kept the camera on just a smidge too long.
Guys, this is all just too much.
The new baby's about to come, and Charlie's birthday tomorrow.
Just so long as they don't happen on the same day.
- What do you mean? - Well, think about it.
Wouldn't it be kind of sad if Charlie had to share her birthday with the new baby? I'll tell you what's sad.
We're out of French Toast sticks.
Teddy, honey, the baby's gonna come when the baby wants to come.
But if it does happen to be tomorrow, I need everyone to help out with Charlie's birthday.
Mom, I'm willing to help out by doing what I always do.
You don't ever do anything.
And nobody does it better.
All I'm saying is if somebody goes to the trouble of inventing French Toast sticks, the least we could do is buy their product.
Bob, honey, you took care of those things I asked you to handle, right? I.
.
Certainly did.
Why was there a pause between "I" and "certainly"? No pause.
Just my normal speaking.
.
Talk voice pattern.
So, you bought the baby's new car seat, and the doll Charlie wants for her birthday? Honey.
I did it all.
Okay? Mission accomplished.
I.
.
Believe you.
Uh, Gabe? - Yeah? - Listen, here is, uh.
.
Here's 50 bucks.
I need you to go down to the mall.
I need you to get that doll for Charlie.
Dad, why can't you do it? Because I gotta buy a car seat.
You know how some little girls grow up and pick a husband who's just like their Daddy? I'm gonna go a different way.
Today's all burnt toast running late and Dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite.
Grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby there's no maybe.
Everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
Hey, honey? Hey, come on.
There's something I want to show you.
Honey, come on.
I'm moving as fast as I can.
Wide load coming through.
Look.
Look.
New car seat is in.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Bought it three days ago.
Well, whatever.
Looks a little crowded in here.
Well, honey, we're gonna be up front.
Who cares what happens in the back? Bob, I don't think there's enough room.
Sure there is.
No, Bob, with five kids, I think we might need a new car.
Slow down.
No, no, no, no, no.
Enough room in here for everybody.
Look, Charlie sits here, new baby over there, one kid back there, the other over there.
Done.
Problem solved.
You forgot a kid.
Which one? I don't know.
But I know there are five.
This can work.
Let me show you.
.
Kids! There, see? Piece of cake.
How's everybody doing back there? PJ keeps poking me with his rib.
It's called breathing.
Honey, Gabe doesn't have a seat belt.
Or a seat.
He'll be fine.
Hey, Charlie? Are you comfortable? No.
- Bob? - Yes? - New car? - New car.
Okay.
Here we go.
Oh.
Hey, Mom? Oh.
.
What are you doing? Painting my toenails.
Just because I can't see them doesn't mean they shouldn't look good.
Oh.
Well in that case, you might want to consider clipping them.
Can I help you? Well, I am actually here to help you.
So, Mom, I know that you've been very anxious to get this baby out, so I went online and I looked up some natural ways to induce labor.
Ooh, like what? Well, uh, there's a bunch of techniques, but the first one includes.
.
Boo! What was that? I was trying to scare the baby out.
Well, it didn't work.
Okay.
Fine, well, there's always some other stuff we can try, like.
.
Boo! Stop that.
Okay, you know, it's a baby.
It's not the hiccups.
So, what do you want to do today? Well, it's a beautiful day.
Sun shining, the birds are chirping.
.
So, video games in the basement? Whew! Dude, you had me scared there for a minute with all the outdoor talk.
All right, let's go.
Wait.
I promised my Dad I'd go to the store and buy Charlie a stupid doll.
And I told my Mom I was at the library.
So what? No, Jake, I really have to go do this.
So, who's stopping you? I'll wait right here.
Yeah, you know I'm not allowed to leave you in this house alone.
Come on.
Man, you take one bubble bath, you get labeled.
What's all this? I got us some yoga balls.
Another way to induce labor is through bouncing.
All right, I'll try anything.
Hit it, Charlie.
Feel anything? I feel silly.
You look silly.
Oh.
Teddy, this isn't going to work.
Do it again.
Dude, I can't be seen doll shopping.
I'll lose my street cred.
Yeah, I think you lost that when you started giggling in the bra Department.
Let's just buy this thing and get out of here.
Kuddle Me Katie? That's stupid.
Goo-goo.
It said goo-goo.
Aw.
Whoa, look what they just released.
Attack of the Zartians.
Oh, right.
I heard about this game.
Zartians are martians that were bitten by zombies.
Ewe.
That's disgusting.
What are they covered in, blood or puke? Hopefully both.
Let's get it.
It's 50 bucks.
I don't have 50 bucks.
Yeah, you do.
Wait a minute.
- Are you.
.
Are you saying.
.
- That's exactly what I'm saying.
You're gonna buy this game with the doll money.
Yeah.
- And then what? - We play it.
- After we play it? - We play it again.
Well, what about Charlie's doll? I promised my Dad.
Dude, we're teenagers now.
We're supposed to be rebels.
Your Mom still picks out your underwear.
And sometimes I wear it backwards.
On purpose.
You know what? I'm gonna buy this game, but just so we can stop talking about your underwear.
Hey, Mom.
How you doing? I am tired, bloated, cranky, I have never been more miserable in my life.
That's nice.
Hey.
.
I just did a quick freezer check.
.
Still not seeing the French Toast sticks.
I bought you some.
Yeah, you bought French Toast squares.
Well, if you want sticks, then just take the squares and cut them in half.
Cut them in half? But then you cut the fun in half.
Honey, you'll figure it out.
I guess I could take the cut squares.
.
And glue them together lengthwise with syrup.
.
Or would jam make a better adhesive? I'd better nap on it.
That's your big brother, PJ.
He's not the smartest.
.
That's it.
Hey, Mom.
You hungry? Oh, no.
Honey, I couldn't eat anything.
I'm so big, I just.
.
I just.
.
What you got? Vindaloo Pepper Curry from the new Indian place.
Because I read that another way to induce labor is with spicy food.
Is it really that spicy? Yeah, so spicy, they made me sign a waiver.
And attend a brief seminar.
Let's try it.
Dad! I set that down, like, one minute ago.
Stuff's got some kick to it.
What else you got? So, uh, how is belly dancing supposed to help? Well, they say that it's good to exercise your core, and.
.
Let's face it, right now.
.
You're all core.
Oh.
.
- Check it out, this is fun.
- Mm-hum.
And surprise, surprise.
I'm good at it.
Feel anything, Mom? Feel like I'm kicking your butt at belly dancing.
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
- Bring it.
- Consider it brung.
Uh, yeah.
- Oh! - Yeah! Yeah, you just got served.
In a bowl, with a spoon.
Didn't realize belly dancing had so much trash talk.
Man, this is frustrating.
Yeah, I know.
They really need to make bigger keyboards for people with big, sausage-y fingers.
What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I'm trying to figure out what kind of car to buy.
Problem is, you got too many choices.
And then you gotta figure out.
.
Mileage and.
.
Color, safety, reliability.
.
You know what? This is impossible.
Well, what about this one? I mean, look how happy it's making that family.
Oh, and they're going across the country.
Mount Rushmore.
The Grand Canyon.
.
Grandma's house.
PJ.
Come on, it's just a commercial, you.
.
Hey, they brought her a puppy.
Aw.
Oh, it's just what she wanted.
We have to get that car.
If we want to be happy.
Okay, how is a salad going to help me go into labor? Not the salad, the dressing.
See, this place is famous for it.
They have this special secret ingredient that just pops a kid right out.
It's worth a shot.
Besides, I haven't eaten in like, 15 minutes.
Hi.
Can I help you? Yes.
A table for two, please.
Sure, can I get your name? We have about a three-hour wait.
Three hours? But we need a table right away.
Yes, I'm pregnant.
It's kind of a special circumstance.
Oh, well, in that case, you can wait in our special section.
Doh! This is ridiculous.
I can't believe they're making us stand here like this.
I'm seven days overdue.
Seven days? Try nine days on for size.
I'm looking back at seven days like it was a party.
Oh, yeah? I have enough gas to fly to London.
Try China.
How's that table coming? - All right.
- I can't wait to play this game.
Yeah, I was getting that from the way you opened the box with your teeth.
That's how I open everything.
Why do you think I need braces? Now, if my Dad comes down.
And asks where the doll is, what am I gonna tell him? Okay, I got it.
I'll tell him that.
.
On the way to the toy store, I got beat up by a gang.
And.
.
They stole the money and I'm lucky to be alive.
Dude, it's your Dad we're talking about.
Why are you working so hard on a story? You know what? You're right.
Why am I worried about Charlie's stupid doll anyway? All right, here.
Uh-oh.
What's that? "Warning.
" "Contains scenes of graphic violence.
" "Parental supervision strongly advised.
" Yes! Well, I retain so much water, I slosh when I walk.
I slosh when I sleep.
Oh, you sleep? Oh, Mom.
I just thought of a great idea.
Why don't we get the salads to go? Don't you think we thought of that? They don't do takeout here.
Sure hope your next kid is smarter than this one.
Hey.
Nobody insults my kids but me.
You want a piece of me? - You want a piece of me? - Okay! Ladies, let's break it up.
Let's just go, okay? I can't do this for three hours.
What? No, Mom.
We have to stick it out.
The baby has to be born today.
Tomorrow's Charlie's birthday.
Honey, I know that.
But we're out of options here.
Or are we? Look over there.
That must be the salad dressing.
Okay, so you create a distraction for everyone, and I'll go get it.
We're going to steal salad dressing? The student becomes the master.
Oh my! Oh my! It's happening.
Oh, Mama's having a baby child! Okay, just stay calm.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Okay.
- Just breathe.
Oh, you know what? False alarm.
Sorry.
Everybody go back to your salads, nothing more to see here.
Oh.
Let's get out of here.
Hey! Stop them, they've got the dressing.
Run for it! Oh.
Okay.
Hey, everybody relax.
Yeah, no need to get crazy, okay, there's plenty of dressing for everyone.
I am having twins.
I want double.
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna need to see an ultrasound.
Hey, hey! Back off.
One more step and the dressing gets it.
That's right.
You heard her.
Now everyone waddle away real nice-like.
You first, twinsie.
So, Bob.
What got you interested in the Serenade? Well, the mileage, safety, reliability.
.
Was it the puppy? Yeah.
So, what do you think? Rides pretty smooth, doesn't it? Yeah, it's.
.
It's okay, I guess.
Are you kidding? I feel like I'm floating on a cloud.
A cloud with seat warmers.
So that's why I'm so toasty down there.
Sounds like your boy likes the car.
Six cup holders?! Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! What do you say, Bob? You want to go inside and we'll crunch some numbers? Um.
.
Could you give us a minute, Stu? Sure thing.
I'll be in the showroom.
PJ! What are you doing? You're blowing the whole deal! What do you mean? If Stu thinks we like the car, we're gonna have to pay more for it.
We gotta make him think we don't want the car.
So there's a chance we won't buy it? Are you kidding me? I love this thing! Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! Never knew pregnant women could be so vicious.
It was horrifying.
That one gal chewed off a couple of my buttons.
Why don't we go downstairs again and try bouncing.
.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sweetie, we are done.
Okay, we've tried everything.
This baby is gonna come when it wants to.
I guess you're right.
And if it is born on Charlie's birthday, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
What do you mean? Well, I don't know, with.
.
Five kids, maybe it wouldn't hurt to double up on birthdays.
You know.
.
Less parties, less presents, less headaches.
.
Hey.
Maybe I can tell Charlie and the baby they were born on December 25.
So, follow my lead.
Play it cool.
Oh, and whatever happens, don't get too overenthusiastic.
Don't worry about me, big guy.
I will be cool with a capital "K.
" And don't do any spelling.
Check.
Have a seat, fellas.
In these chairs? Forget it.
They're pieces of junk.
We're not buying the chairs.
Darn right we're not.
It's not even that fun.
So, what do you think, Bob? Will you be driving home in a Serenade today? Well, uh.
.
I don't know, Stu.
I guess it, uh, depends on what you can do for me.
Yeah, Stu.
What have you got? Bring it.
Does this price work for you? Does.
.
This work for you? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
PJ, PJ? We actually have to look at the offers.
Amateur move, but go ahead.
Look, Bob.
I want to make you happy.
What do you think about this? This is your offer? PJ.
.
This is your beef, Stu? Get it? "Beef Stu"? - Yeah, we.
.
We all got it.
- Yeah.
Come on, Dad.
We are out of here.
Dad? You coming? I, uh.
.
Chose the wrong child to come with me today, Stu.
I.
.
I apologize.
How long have we been playing? Six hours.
My eyes are burning.
You should blink once in a while.
That's exactly what they want.
Who are you working for, the Zartian King? Easy, dude.
Your phone's ringing again.
It's just my Mom wondering where I am.
Off to voice mail.
I'm gonna go down this alley and check for mutants.
Cover me.
You having fun, Gabe? Whoa.
Did you see that? What? My Dad.
He was.
.
He was in the game and he was talking to me.
That's normal.
After six hours, you're gonna hallucinate.
Really? Yeah.
It was a warning on the box.
You've just got to power through it.
Okay.
You're right.
Just got to focus.
We got to get that level nine monster.
It's your baby sister's birthday.
All she wanted was a doll.
Maybe you're the monster.
Ah! What are you doing? We're done.
And tomorrow we're taking the game back and getting Charlie her doll.
What's wrong with your hands? I don't know.
Help me.
Oh, happy first birthday, you adorable baby.
Aw.
Aw, look at that smile.
- Aw.
- Check out those cheeks.
I could just eat you up.
You are the cutest baby ever.
Yes, you are.
It's my birthday, too.
Oh, and Daddy loves you.
That's right, Daddy lu-lu you.
Aw.
I'm sad.
Oh, my little angel.
I could never forget you.
I'll never forget you either, baby.
Not you.
Teddy.
Morning, Mom.
Teddy, I can't have this baby today.
Charlie needs to have her special birthday.
That's what I've been saying all along.
Yeah, but now I'm saying it.
Okay, well, what made you change your mind? I had this horrible dream last night.
The entire family was just being so mean to Charlie.
.
Ignoring her.
Even you.
What were you doing in the dream? I was doing what I always do.
Fighting bravely to make things right.
Okay, look, the point is I can't have the baby today.
Charlie needs her special day.
All right, well, however you got here, I totally agree.
We'll just make sure that you don't have the baby until tomorrow.
Exactly.
Okay.
Okay, operation get baby out.
Has officially become operation keep baby in.
I need complete rest and relaxation, okay? Nothing but peace.
.
Calm.
And quiet.
Morning, honey.
I said quiet! Yeah.
Another day in paradise.
Next.
Hi, we'd like to return this game, please.
Has it been opened? Nope.
Then why is it covered in tape and what appears to be teeth marks? Okay.
I'm gonna level with you.
We bought this game by accident.
And then, Jake here.
.
Accidentally opened it.
And then we accidentally played it for six hours.
Guys, I'm sorry, you can't return this.
Oh, no, we don't want to return it.
We want to exchange it.
.
For money.
Next.
Oh, this is bad.
What am I gonna do? Only thing you can do.
You gotta steal the doll.
Steal the doll? But that's wrong.
Well, exactly.
You know the old saying, "two wrongs make a right.
" No, it's "two wrongs don't make a right.
" Oh.
Well, then, you know the other old saying.
.
"Sometimes you gotta steal a doll.
" I'm not gonna steal the doll.
Well, can we at least steal candy? No.
Then what's the point of even going to the store? Serenade! Serenade! Serenade! Yeah.
Oh.
Well.
.
Hope you learned something from the whole car-buying experience.
Sure did, Dad.
What's that, son? Can't we just leave it at a "sure did, Dad"? I'm talking about the negotiation.
Look.
.
Someday you're gonna have a family of your own.
And you're gonna have to buy a new car.
And you know what you're gonna say to your kid? The car doesn't fit in the garage? What? Then I'll say, "it's not my fault, son.
" I learned all this from your grandpa Bob.
" And he'll say, "oh, that explains it.
" Then we'll laugh and get ice cream.
Well, you asked.
Then everybody was being really mean to you.
But don't you worry, I did what I always do.
Fought bravely to make things right.
Charlie, you have the best Mommy in the world.
Even in a dream.
Charlie? I made you a special birthday lunch.
It's in the kitchen.
Let's go get it.
Yay.
Okay, um, Mom.
.
I was just wondering about Charlie's birthday party.
Oh, honey.
I have to rest.
Would you please take care of that for me? Yeah, I got it.
Everything you need to know is in a file in the kitchen.
Got it.
Teddy, you have really been there for me, and I just.
.
I'm just so thankful, and.
.
You're my rock.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Yeah.
How are the hormones, Mom? All over the place.
Charlie, how'd you like your special pony-shaped sandwich? All right.
Well.
Glad I spent an hour cutting it out.
Party folder.
Hey, Charlie, come with me.
Ready? Oh! I got 'cha.
Okay.
What? Mom forgot to mail the invitations? Do you know what this means? No.
Good.
You wait here.
I'll be right back.
Dad, hi.
Okay.
Big problem.
.
So you know how Mom's been kinda spacey with the pregnancy? Well, she forgot to plan Charlie's birthday party.
You think you got problems? The garage is 31 inches too short.
Oh, the garage is too short? Now it's the garage's fault? Yeah, car-buying expert here didn't measure the.
.
She doesn't need to know the details.
She has her own situation.
Didn't you hear? Mom made a big, dumb mistake.
Well, so what.
.
What am I gonna do? Charlie's in there waiting for her party.
Okay, all right.
Give me, uh.
.
Give me a minute to think.
Uh, bu.
.
Bu.
Bu.
.
Ba.
.
Okay.
.
Give me another minute.
Well, I.
.
I guess I could try calling some of Charlie's friends.
See if they can come over.
Pick up a cake at the store.
.
Before you buy the cake.
.
You might wanna measure the fridge.
Know what I'm saying, Dad? Hi uh, Mrs.
Dickson, it's Teddy Duncan calling.
Listen, so I'm throwing together a little last-minute birthday party for Charlie, and I was just wondering if Megan could come.
Oh.
Chicken pox.
Poor little thing.
But, you know, she doesn't have to stay for long.
Okay.
Okay, I understand.
Oh, you know what? As long as I've got you.
.
Is there any chance that Mr.
Dickson is a.
.
Is a clown or a magician, or.
.
Hello? Hi um, is this Cake World? Yeah, yeah, hi.
I need a cake.
Um.
.
You're out of cake? You realize you're called "Cake World.
" Which means, right now, you're just "world.
" Yeah, well, I don't like your attitude, either.
Hello? Hi, uh.
.
Hi, is this "Al's Amazing Animals"? Yeah um, listen, I know that it's last minute, but I'm trying to put together this birthday party.
What's the most amazing animal you've got? A monkey who does tricks for cake.
Yeah, we're gonna have a problem.
Um, by any chance.
.
Does the monkey come with its own cake? Hello? Who's coming to my party? You know, I'm really not sure.
Hey, you know who might be fun to have at your party? Who? The kids from the playground.
Yay! What kids? Well, we won't know until we get there.
Yay! Woo-hoo! Okay, that's as far as I can go.
How's she looking? It's a she? How can you tell? Could you just press the button? All right, here it goes.
Looking good.
Looking good.
So close.
Hm.
PJ was right.
The squares aren't as much fun as the sticks.
But I'm gonna eat some more anyway.
So, what are you gonna do? Well, what choice do I have? I have to tell my Dad the truth.
The truth? Dude, that game messed you up.
You know, if you came in and shared some of the blame, they'd probably go easier on me.
Guess we'll never know.
Gotta admit.
.
I like that kid's style.
Okay, you.
You stay right where you are.
Little more.
Stop! Little more.
Stop! Little more.
Stop! Okay.
We're getting there.
No, we're not! This is ridiculous.
Dad, calm down.
No, that's it! That's it! I'm done.
Done! Taking this tank back to the.
.
Dealer! Dealer's that way.
Uh-oh.
Oh! Oh! It looks bad from this side, too.
Dad, I have to tell you some.
.
It can wait.
Uh-oh.
Hey, Dad.
Great news.
Garage door closes.
Guys, Charlie's birthday party is.
.
Not our biggest problem.
Uh-oh.
Why do you keep saying, "uh-oh"? Why do you think? The baby's coming.
- Oh! - Okay, all right.
We gotta get Mom to the hospital.
Come on, honey.
Get in the car.
Car's in the wall, Bob.
Come on, I'll drive.
Ed's out front.
Ed? Who's Ed? That's the name of my car.
Ed? So is that short for uh, Edward? Edgar? Edwin? - Ed.
.
Ed.
.
- Bigger issues, PJ! Okay, we really need to go.
Okay, come on.
You guys have to throw Charlie her birthday party.
I'm gonna drive Mom to the hospital.
Oh, why do we always get the hard things? You know.
.
I always thought you would be the first one to drive a car into the kitchen.
Me, too.
Hey, how you doing, honey? It'd be a lot better if you were quiet! She wants me to be quiet.
Gotta be quiet.
Why can't I be quiet? Dad, were you this panicky when the rest of us were born? Uh.
.
No.
Because the first four times we did this, we were at a hospital! We did this, yeah.
Yeah, you wanna take over?! Okay, everybody relax.
We're on our way.
We're gonna be there shortly.
Right after this.
.
Slight delay.
You're outta gas.
You're outta gas! Aw, Teddy.
How could you be so irresponsible?! Says the guy who drove a car into our kitchen.
Close your eyes.
There you go.
Okay.
Ready? Keep 'em closed.
Okay.
And.
.
Surprise! Hey! Look who came to your party, Charlie.
Three of your oldest and bestest friends.
Aw.
Tennis ball head.
Aw.
Scary clown.
Ah! And.
.
Badly-damaged monkey.
I.
.
I don't think she likes it.
Well, she's.
.
She's about to.
- Oh, okay.
- Because.
.
Ta-da! Happy Birthday! It's your special birthday cake.
That's not cake.
It's your special birthday bagel.
Mm, bagel.
Tennis ball head's.
Favorite.
Mm.
Yum, yum, yum.
Where's my present? Yeah, did you get the Kuddle Me Katie doll? What is this, "60 minutes"? Just enjoy the party.
Charlie.
.
We have got some really fun party games planned.
Like.
.
Watching TV! Yay! I want princesses.
Really? Uh, did Mommy promise you a Princess? Mommy said, "two princesses, please.
" All right, you heard her, Princess.
Make it happen.
Mommy said two.
Just breathe.
I'm sure Dad will find us a ride soon.
Yeah, because he's so good with cars? Hey, sorry it took so long.
You went for ice cream at a time like this? Uh, well.
.
Actually, the ice cream came to me.
You're taking me to the hospital in an ice cream truck? You said to flag down the first thing I saw.
Oh what's the matter, the giant hot dog wouldn't stop? Yeah.
Okay.
Push, Teddy.
Welcome aboard Mustachio Pete's, the ice cream truck with the pistachio treats.
FYI, pistachio has been discontinued.
Bob, I need to lie down.
- Okay.
- You can use that bean bag chair.
It's where Mustachio Pete takes his 10 minute breaks.
.
Which Mustachio Pete is allowed by law.
You're not gonna keep referring to yourself in the third person, are you? Yes, he is.
That's Mustachio Pete's trademark.
That, and the pistachio, which, FYI.
.
Has been discontinued.
We get.
.
We.
.
Okay.
Come on, honey.
If things get bad back there, bite down on a rocket pop.
Ooh, cool, I will.
He meant me! Can we get going? It's an emergency.
Emergency? This calls for the fast-paced music.
Ready, Charlie? It's Princess time! Uh-oh.
I seem to have lost my sister Princess.
Excuse me.
- Get out there! - But I feel stupid! - You think I don't? - You're used to it! Go! Dance, Princess.
Left.
.
And right.
And we cast a spell.
And we twirl and we twirl.
And we curtsy! Aw.
Look at that smile.
We gotta go again.
What? But, this time, stay with me.
And five, six, seven, eight.
Left, right.
.
Can't you go any faster? We're already doing 23.
I'm giving her all she's got.
Okay.
Baby's close.
How much further? You're not helping yourself to any freebies back there, are you, Bob? I'm a stress eater, Pete.
You don't have to tell me about stress.
The ice cream truck business is dog-eat-dog.
I got Side Burn Sam nipping at my heels.
Could we just focus on the road, Pete? But both princesses are so beautiful.
How could I ever choose just one to be my wife? Dude, that's your line.
Oh, right.
Well, I guess there's only one way.
See whose foot fits the magic slipper.
Okay.
'Tis not I whose foot doth fit the slipper.
Yes, 'tis not me, either.
But, sister Princess, you have not tried on the slipper.
I doth not want to.
Oh, yeth you will.
Or I will hurteth you.
With my fitht.
Oh, joy.
It fits.
My bride! At long last I have found you.
And they seal their love.
.
With a kiss.
- Okay, we're done! - Bah! Yeah, not quite.
We're gonna go again from the top.
Maybe you'll get it right this time.
Ah! Hey.
.
I'm gonna need your help back here.
Dad, I don't know how to deliver a baby.
Honey, you just gotta help me.
All alone back here! Just sayin'.
Okay.
- How you doing, Mom? - Hey.
This baby is coming now.
Then.
.
Let's have a baby.
Okay, Teddy.
Here we go.
Oh, wow.
Well, hello, number five.
What a beautiful baby boy.
Aw.
Isn't he precious? We got here as fast as we could.
Hi.
There's the birthday girl.
Happy Birthday.
Charlie, come here.
Meet your new baby brother.
Brother? Cool.
Hey, what name did you pick? Well, we decided to call him.
.
Toby.
Hey.
I came up with that one.
Nice.
Welcome to the world, Toby Duncan.
Hey, quick question.
Why are you guys dressed like that? Oh, because.
.
Mom promised Charlie princesses for her party.
I never promised Charlie princesses.
Charlie, did you trick us? Sweetie, did you get your special birthday present, Kuddle Me Katie? No, Mommy.
What? Why not? Bob? Gabe? PJ? Teddy? Gabe? Oh.
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
Wasn't much of a birthday, was it? That's okay, Mommy.
Now, don't you worry.
We will get you your special present.
I like this present.
Okay, listen up.
Here's the plan.
So, when they come through the front door, you guys.
.
Are gonna hold up this banner.
Here.
Take that.
And Charlie, you're gonna give Mommy these balloons.
And I'm gonna blow the noisemaker.
And then we're all gonna sing "welcome home, Toby" To the tune of the rock classic.
.
"Our House.
" Why do you get to blow the noisemaker? And why are we making such a big deal outta this? They bring a new baby home like every six months.
Yeah.
This is what we always do.
We did it for Charlie.
Did you do it for me? Uh.
.
Yeah.
- You're lying! - No, I'm not.
Yeah, you are.
You.
.
You know what? If you didn't do it for me, I'm not doing it for Toby.
No matter how cool his name is.
Gabe, just pick up the stupid banner and join in this very touching family celebration! You can't make me.
Well, if he's not gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it.
And if we not all gonna do it together.
.
.
.
It looks like Charlie could have made it.
Good to be home.
This is what it's all about, isn't it? Now I see.
.
So let me show you around.
This is your home, Toby.
Yeah.
This is the living room.
And this is your family.
Tell me who's your angel.
Who's your shoulder, to hold your boulders.
Tell me when it's raining.
Who will warm you.
Who will hold you.
You might be broken.
With all these cracks in your skin.
You might be broken that's where the light gets in.
You're something beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
You're something beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
And I just want you to know.
You to know.
You to know.
That you're not alone.
You're not alone.
Hey, what you doing? Giving Toby a proper welcome home.
Well, Charlie, it's been kind of a big week.
I uh, I helped deliver a baby.
.
Our little brother, Toby.
.
And you finally got your Kuddle Me Katie.
Which you lost interest in five minutes after you got it.
Doesn't matter, Gabe's still paying for it.
He worked out a little agreement with Mom and Dad.
Gabe! Diaper change! And it's a doozy.
Coming.
Wish him good luck, Charlie.
Isn't he adorable? Oh, little Toby.
He sure is.
Oh, by the way, what's his middle name? Wan-Kenobi.
Toby Wan-Kenobi? Yeah.
Yup, your Dad's a big fan of the movies.
Speaking of, where is Dad? I'm ready to go home.
He said he was just going to pull the car up.
Here he is now.
Hey! Ready to go hun? Yes, babe how did you do that? We're on the eighth floor.
Hey, this baby's got some pick-up.
Yeah.
Serenade! Serenade! PJ Darth Duncan! You're going to wake your baby brother.
Oh, sorry.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.
Serenade.