Hotel Babylon (2006) s03e07 Episode Script
Episode 23
Book a room in a five-star hotel and you buy yourself your own private space.
A space in which you're free to unpack the darker corners of your mind.
Not only do you buy our services, you also buy our discretion.
Being nothing more than a name and a room number.
can be a liberating experience.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
What you do in your own room is your own business.
We're not here to pass judgement, we're here to facilitate.
A lot of luggage you've got there, sir.
Oh! Right, well, it's room 406 - Mr Chambers.
- Thank you.
If your wife and family don't understand you, we will.
And if you step out of line, our job is to remain open-minded and tolerant.
Whatever you throw at us, we'll turn the other cheek.
Ow.
You're our guest, which means we'll do all we can.
to make your stay as comfortable and as easy as possible.
Bastard! We'll also do our best.
to shield you from less understanding parties.
But sometimes, even our diplomatic skills can fail.
And that's when we can find ourselves in need of urgent protection.
A full-on brawl in the lobby.
Ah, it's classy.
I'm surprised you didn't have some money on the outcome, Tony.
A little extra on top of your little extra.
Well, it's hardly Tony's fault, is it? The concierge's job is to get the guests whatever they want, no questions asked.
And that always has and always will include girls.
Look, girls have always been part and parcel of any hotel.
as much as food and drink.
I mean, nobody come to a top hotel to eat, eh? But lots of people travel hundreds of miles.
for some rumpy-pumpy in a five-star bedroom, eh? We have some very high-class, high-profile guests staying here.
All I'm asking for is a little bit more discretion.
- Yes, and it's duly noted.
- You sure? Good.
So, talking of high profile guests no doubt you're all aware that Dan Black the magician guy is checking in today.
He's here to do his big disappearing act under Nelson's Column.
So, he'll be attracting a lot of media attention.
Once we unveil our new menu I think the media clamour will eclipse even Mr Black's appearance.
Did you know the Babylon fish pie is now famous? It's the main reason we've been offered a book deal.
Oh, well, it's about time.
All good restaurants have their own cookbook.
Well, absolutely, and I have at least two books worth of recipes right here.
This is the most important item in the hotel.
We all know creating a successful restaurant.
has been a tough nut to crack.
- Well done.
- Thank you.
A lot of our competitors are finally feeling the burn.
Particularly the Burlington.
You know, Michael Harkness' bookings have been down 230/0.
Well, maybe if other people shared the same commitment as me the months sweating over recipes, the weeks of sleepless nights they would be taking on four new members of staff as well.
My bar doing very well, thank you very much.
Really, Gino? And what is weather like up there on Planet Denial? The article is called "Secret London".
They're talking to a whole range of people.
Cabbies, policemen, paramedics, and determining who knows London best.
The journalist is Clarissa Jones.
She's one of the toughest, most influential writers in London.
and someone I'm very keen to get on side.
She's coming here with a photographer at 4:00 if that's okay? I've spent a long time building up my sources and contacts I'm not about to spill my guts to some ball-breaker from some trendy magazine.
- So, thanks, but no thanks.
- It's good publicity for the hotel.
Look, I've got her mobile number if you need it.
Oh, no! This is so lovely of you, Tony.
Well, unlike some people in this hotel, I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.
- Oh, God.
- Was this worth it? Mmm, very nice.
Art Deco, platinum, single stone, two carats? Two point five actually, but pretty close.
It was my grandmother's and if I'd lost it, I Well, that just goes to show what an asset you are.
- Yes, flattery will get you everywhere.
- So, you'll do the article? What part of "no" do you not understand? Well, I always make it a rule.
to be as relentless as the other person's stubborn.
Then we could be batting this back and forth for quite some time.
So that's a yes? My publicist booked me into a place down the road.
but I've been told that this is the best hotel in London, is that right? Well, we like to think so.
- I'm Eddie Palmer, by the way.
- Hello.
- You've heard of Word of Mouth? - The phrase? The chat show.
Eddie Palmer's Word of Mouth.
Highest ratings in the Northwest.
We're bringing it to London, that's why I'm here.
Only get so many big stars to schlep up the M6.
Hi, how are you? There you go.
Okay.
- Do I know you? - Keep watching.
Right.
And how long are you going to be staying with us, Mr Palmer? Tonight and tomorrow night, I'm doing the lottery show.
Pumping up the PR drive.
And before you ask, no, I can't guarantee you a win.
I can get you some tickets for the show, though.
Oh, no, I'm busy on Saturday night unfortunately.
Going to be watching the first coat of emulsion dry.
Be right back.
- Hi, Eddie Palmer.
- Tony Casemore, concierge.
Tony, hi.
I believe you're the person who can get things done round here, am I right? - That's right.
- Yeah, well, being a well known face it's always easy to get a decent table in a restaurant.
But it's impossible to do anything incognito, right? Which is why.
I hope I can rely on you to be discreet.
Of course.
I do have my own supplier for this kind of thing, sir.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm sure they're excellent.
But I've dealt with these people before and I trust them.
Don't worry, they're very professional.
When the restaurant is full and the kitchen's working at top speed it's essential that you're absolutely familiar.
with the geography of the place, so have a good look around.
Stay out of the way of Chef or you'll lose your fingers at best.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
The first bus was full and then the second one was late.
I'm supposed to be meeting James "Scoffield".
I think he must be the restaurant manager.
I'm James "Schofield" and I'm the Food and Beverage Manager.
- Sorry.
- You are? Chloe.
Chloe McCourt.
Hi.
Not a great start, is it, Chloe? Follow me.
Hello, Tony.
Follow me.
How you know I'm from agency? Lucky guess.
I'd really appreciate you making this a quick in-and-out job.
If you get my drift? Special delivery.
Thanks, Tony.
Appreciate it.
If you need an aperitif or a brandy, you have to go to the bar.
- Has anyone got a pen? - Do you have something to say? - No.
- Good.
Obviously we have a sommelier, but you need to know our wine list.
If you were serving our saddle of venison you would recommend something dark and tight with a smoke and tar edge.
Maybe a fine Chianti.
What would you suggest to compliment Oriental food? - Miss McCourt? - Um probably white with a strongish taste to compliment the strong flavours.
Maybe a Riesling or a White Grenache, maybe? - That's very good.
- Thank you.
See, you not the only one who can tart things up, eh? "Tart" being the operative word.
Looks like a Spanish bordello.
This is a Latin bar, eh? Passion and fire.
Hey, you want to learn where the pumping heart of the hotel is forget about the restaurant.
Come and work in the bar, eh? This smacks of the desperate act of a desperate man.
This desperate man gonna smack somebody in a minute.
In the event of a scrap who'd you think the management would side with? The person who's running a massively improved and lucrative department or the one who's still plodding along in the slow lane? - So bring it on, you Andalusian ape.
- You want to make an enemy of Gino? Why, you can't hurt me, I'm untouchable.
We'll see about that.
Pussy boy.
Come on.
Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there Mr Black.
Oh! Maybe I wasn't supposed to see you there.
Right, maybe that's the idea.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No.
Maybe I am, and now you're going to disappear.
in a puff of smoke or something! Now, that would be impressive.
I'm not saying that you should disappear or anything - Breathe.
- What? Stop and breathe, Anna.
Oh, my God.
How did you know my name? Oh, you read it on my name badge.
I am such a dumb brunette.
Actually, you're not wearing a name badge.
What? It was here a second ago.
It must've dropped off.
Would you check your left inside pocket for me, Ben? Oh! Wow.
I'm sure you get this all the time.
But I really love what you do.
If I could just get you to sign over here.
Ah! No, wait.
Do another one.
Do one for me.
Oh, well, he was really unimpressive in real life.
Uh, jealous.
No, I've seen Coco the Clown do better tricks.
Why are you trying to get it in the mini-bar? To stop it melting.
Do you mind if I ask what it is exactly? - It's an award.
- Who gives out an award made of ice? The National Association of Ice Sculptors.
- Of course.
- Clarissa Jones is just in.
- Okay, who? - The journalist I told you about.
I've booked her and the photographer into the Olympia suite.
- So when you're finished, come up.
- Okay, have you seen who's here? - Who? - Michael Harkness.
The general manager of the Burlington? Yeah, he's over there looking at the restaurant menu.
We must have them worried.
Excuse me one minute.
Concierge.
Tony, is that you? - Yup.
Could you come up? I need some help, please.
Okay, all right.
I'm coming straight up.
Mr Palmer? Eddie? - Sorry about that.
- What's happened? She bit me.
Clamped on me like a rottweiler.
- Where is she now? - She left.
- It's all gone pear-shaped, I'm afraid.
- Okay, let's take care of this first.
I'll need you to drip some of that blood into the bathroom sink.
The story goes you gashed your hand on the tumbler.
Oh.
Thanks.
- Did you book a specialist? - What'd you mean by that? The suitcase.
Tony, I need another girl.
Now, you said you had contacts.
I think we should just quit while we're both ahead, yeah? How much do you need to make it happen? Hundred? Couple of hundred? I'll get housekeeping to come up and clear up the glass.
Come on, Tony.
What does it take? Eddie, I'm not getting you another girl.
Why? You're the resident pimp, aren't you? - We must stop meeting like this.
- Right.
Or maybe it's fate.
- What's this? - Hold the pack and think of a card.
- Any card.
- Okay.
Now visualise it.
- Are you visualising the card? - Yeah.
Now think of the card spinning in the air.
Hand the pack back to me.
- Okay.
- What was your card? Six of diamonds.
I thought so.
We do have a connection.
Ben if you ever need a lift, you know where to come.
About an hour and a half so I am so sorry.
I'll chase up the company and see what the concierge has booked for you.
Where've you been? Trying to do my job under increasingly difficult circumstances.
Well, how about doing your job here where you belong? I'm on it.
- The ambulance delivered this.
- Thank you, Ben.
Right, this is ordinarily used.
for transporting human organs from the recently departed.
It should get you and your lovely ice sculpture.
home and safely to your freezer.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Dan Black levitated in the lift earlier.
I do not want to know about your sordid little encounters.
- It was incredible.
- He's an illusionist which means it wasn't incredible, it was entirely credible.
How come you're the expert in all things illusional all of a sudden? Look, Benjamin, you don't know everything about me.
Hmm? Okay, what would you like to bet that the levitation was actually a trick? - An extra day off.
- All right, you're on.
What Tony doesn't know about London isn't worth knowing.
Would you like some tea or coffee brought up? I'll have to take a rain-check on the tea party.
My next riveting interview is with a geriatric NCP security guard.
in 45 minutes.
Well, if it's stories about London you're after then you'll probably need more than - Who the hell are you? - I work here.
What as? Look, there's been a mistake, I'll call security.
Wait.
- I'm a friend of Tony's.
- Tony the concierge? I'll tell you what, Emily, tell Tony that when we're doing an article.
on depravity and vice in top hotels, we'll be in touch.
No, wait, Clarissa! Come back! Do you have any idea what you've just done? What've you lost? It's my notebook.
The one with all the recipes in it.
It's a disaster.
- What's this? A new game? - He's lost his notebook.
Oh, my God! Not the most important book in the entire hotel? It is important.
And if you weren't so obsessed with this whole rivalry thing you'd be helping us look for it.
Oh, forget it.
He isn't going to help anyone but himself.
The pork chick with honey and clove on page 2 look very tasty.
Yes, lots of nice recipes in this book.
Very tasty.
What? No reward? Eh? No, "Thank you very much, Gino.
You save my life.
" Eh? Thank you for standing up for me.
Do you have any idea how stupid I felt? I mean, what is to stop Clarissa Jones.
making Hotel Babylon look like a brothel? Okay, the first thing we have to do is get you out of here.
And a low profile in the lobby would be appreciated.
I'm not stupid.
Oh, yeah, because it takes a lot of acumen to be a prostitute these days.
Why don't you go downstairs first and check that the coast is clear? No, I've done all the favours I'm doing for you today.
This is your problem.
You sort it.
All right, straight out the front and then on your way.
Have I embarrassed you? - Hide me.
- What? - Get me out of here.
- Just keep walking.
I can't.
Please.
Is there a back way? If he catches me, the gang will kill me.
Please? So, who is that guy at the bar? Your minder? His name Chen.
He's their minder.
He brings me here.
I thought he'd be gone by now.
- It's Chen.
I have to answer.
- Hang on.
Did they do this to you? I'm going to put you somewhere safe until the coast is clear.
Then you're on your own.
Come on.
Just here.
The restaurant here is so-so.
For me, the only place to eat is the tapas bar around the corner.
Left out the door then first right.
It's called Papa's Tapas.
Tell them Gino sent you, eh? Gino, yes.
Oh! You like what I've done so far? I'm not sure I'm quite getting the theme.
It's a bull.
It's virility.
Potency, eh? Machismo.
Yeah, it's just not working for me, Gino.
I want the bar back the way it was.
But you let Mr Smarty Pants do what he wants with the restaurant.
I let James do what he wants as long as it's working for the hotel.
This is a knee-jerk reaction.
It's cheap and it's tacky and it's just not working.
Oh and the next time I hear you.
recommending another restaurant to the guests you'll be the one stuffed and sitting on the bar.
Okay? What are you looking at, Bob? Risotto and the soufflé are for table five.
In the far corner.
No, the other corner.
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I'm sorry, miss.
Please, excuse us.
We'll have this tidied up in no time.
Excuse me.
- I'm so sorry.
- It could've happened to anyone.
- Are you okay? Nothing broken? - Just the plate I think.
Well, between you and me, Chef's gazpacho is not the best anyway.
It's way too salty.
Okay.
So it's not much, but it'll do for now.
It's already better than where I live.
So what are you gonna do? Run away? I'm a long way from home.
How far? I'm from Guangdong in Eastern China.
Two years ago, I came to England with my boyfriend, Jiang.
The people who brought us here promised me a flat and a job.
And you believed them? It was only after I arrived that I realised Jiang worked for them.
He was just pretending to be my boyfriend.
And now he runs things for them in London.
Nice guy.
They told me I owe them money for transport, rent and food.
And now they're making you work it off as a prostitute.
- We should go to the police.
- No! No police.
I ran away before, they just handed me back.
They said they'd kill me if I did it again.
- Promise me you won't call them.
- Okay.
Okay, I promise.
You know, I don't even know your name.
- Mei.
- How old are you, Mei? How old do you want me to be? Mei, I'm not a punter.
I'm just trying to be your friend.
I'm 15.
"How to perform human levitation.
" Now, you sure you want to know how it's done? Because this could remove the golden glow from Dan Black for you.
Okay.
Right.
First you need a gullible member of the audience.
Great.
Anna's about to do magic, everyone.
The key is in the distraction.
Now, first you have to say something like "Oh, this doesn't always work.
" Or, "This is going to take a lot of energy.
" And then you just, abracadabra.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! You are a witch.
You owe me a day off.
You see, what you're actually doing there is called the Balducci Levitation.
It's named after the magician who invented it, Ed Balducci.
- Black took it from him.
- You are so my Phone-A-Friend.
If you can do that, you can do his other tricks.
- Now you're talking.
- He's a trained professional.
A professional conman.
Once we work out how to do his tricks, we can expose him to the world.
And create our own act! - Yes! - It was a joke.
So where did you learn how to do that? I was Sparkle Bunny, the magician's assistant.
I've been split in half more times than you guys have had hot dinners.
Dismantling the Costa del Sol, are we? What do you want, Mr Harkness? Well, as this is a bar, how about a drink? What shall I try this time? A Slow Burn or the Spanish Sunset? I'd pay a lot of money to find out how these are made.
Can't eat nuts.
Got any olives? It can't be easy for you seeing the restaurant being lauded left, right and centre.
Which is why I've got a proposition for you.
- A proposition? - We're on the same side, Gino facing a common enemy.
Together we could really challenge them.
Mr Harkness, two visits in one day.
We are honoured.
I was just telling Gino how impressed we all are.
with the upturn in fortunes for the restaurant.
We'll carry on our conversation later, Gino.
Continued success, Mr Harrison.
Thank you.
Off out somewhere nice, Mr Palmer? Yeah, I thought I'd find a local club somewhere.
Anywhere you'd recommend? With all respect, I think you've had enough for tonight, don't you? I don't need a lecture.
Particularly from someone like you.
You do your job.
That girl you had in your room was trafficked.
Did you know that? She was taken from China and brought here like a slave.
And do you know how old she was? - Keep your voice down.
- 15! Not much older than my daughter.
She was well up for it, too, believe me.
Get out of my way.
- Mr Palmer.
Oh, my God, Tony.
What the hell has got into you? Mr Palmer, I'm so, so sorry.
Yeah, you will be.
- Tony.
- Mr Palmer, are you sure you're okay? You physically assaulted a guest in the lobby.
And I had a very good reason for doing so.
Look, I want a full explanation and I want it now.
Otherwise - Talk to me, Tony.
- Trust me.
He had it coming, let's leave it at that.
Right, so that's it, then, is it? Yes.
You know I have to be seen to be dealing with this, don't you? - I can't just let it go.
- So then you do what you got to do.
Last chance.
What happened? Okay.
Go and pack up your things.
You're sacked.
Thought you could do with this.
Thank you.
All work and no play Well, at the moment this is my number one priority.
Yeah, but you must be confident about it.
To be honest, I'm terrified.
I haven't slept properly for weeks.
Well, you see, if it's a success then the chef gets all the credit.
And if it's a disaster then I get hauled up in front of the general manager.
- So why bother? - Because I love it.
Just reading this makes me feel hungry.
Good.
There's a few of us going round the corner to the wine bar.
to celebrate the first day and that That's a good idea.
So if you fancy a quick drink Oh, I'd love to but - No, I really have to finish up here.
- Okay.
- Maybe some other time? - Yeah.
So what's this? Going for total meltdown? - Jack just sacked me.
- I'm sorry.
Well, I suppose as sackable offences go hitting a guest in the hotel lobby is right up there.
Well, what was it that got you so angry? - Do you really want to know? - Yes.
- She's still here.
- This is Mei.
She was abducted and brought here from China.
You know, I've turned a blind eye to a lot of things in my time, Emily.
But this girl is 15 years old.
If you've been abducted there must be people who are worried about you, looking for you.
I have one brother.
Quan.
But I don't know if he's looking for me.
There must be people who help girls like this.
A place we can take her.
Okay, I'll get on the net and look into it.
In the meantime In the meantime, you've got to get out of here.
- Okay, well, look after her for me.
- What? Find her a safe place to stay until tomorrow.
No, I've got things to do tonight.
Emily, please? Her life's in danger.
After a while in this job.
you've got people tagged, tied up and filed away.
The concierge who lost the plot.
The work-obsessed restaurant manager.
The PR who's more interested in her own life than that of others.
You're not staying? Oh, no, I said I'd meet some people tonight.
And the barman, doing whatever it takes to protect his territory.
Hello, Mr Harkness? Usually we get it right.
Chloe.
Before you get off, there's something I'd like to run by you.
But sometimes we get it wrong.
I thought I'd take you up on that drink.
We might as well travel in style.
And we realise that we don't really know people at all.
I thought you had already gone.
Oh, I'll stay here tonight.
You're hungry.
Twenty years I've been working in this place suddenly I'm reduced to sneaking around like a common criminal.
- How is she? - Yeah, she managed to get some sleep.
- What about you? - I got a couple of hours.
Well, there are a few organisations that look after traffic girls.
but there's no space available for at least a week.
Well, this room's booked out today.
So we have to find her somewhere else.
We need a plan, Tony.
We need to know what we're going to do next.
- Hello.
- Morning.
- Did you get home okay last night? - I did.
I had a lovely time, thank you.
I was hoping maybe we could do it again sometime soon.
All right, then.
Whatever it is, it can't knock me off my stride today.
We got this from the Burlington, it came out this morning.
Oh, my God.
They've taken the whole bloody menu.
What happen? Somebody die? Oh.
Shame.
The day before we unveil ours.
- This is going to be really bad for PR.
- Where's the sauce? Can't have a bacon sandwich without sauce.
Do you know how long this took to perfect? - Night after night, honing till it sang.
- Excuse.
Well, there must be a mole.
- Who? Well, if Tony was here, he'd find out, wouldn't he? - Yes, well, Tony isn't here, is he? - There's a mole, all right.
And it doesn't take a genius to work out who it is.
I always said he was trouble.
I love bacon.
Tanya, just in time.
Could you just open the door there for me? Ah, okay.
Hey, could one of you just Can you just check when the rep will be here? I need to make sure the bar is stocked.
- Did you hear something? - No.
No, neither did I.
Guys? Guys? Lewis? Hey.
You better tell me you had nothing to do with this.
- Leave him alone, he's upset.
- He upset? I upset.
Why everybody giving me the cold shoulders, huh? And why has somebody rip off the head of Bob? Because you are a snake, an assassin.
And you sold my menu to the Burlington.
Hey, you better have proof to bandy up such accusations.
Proof? You are jealous of my success you had access to my notebook, and you met with Harkness yesterday.
Plus you were the only one this morning that didn't seem to give a damn.
- Look, Mr Harkness - I don't want to hear your excuses.
- Mr - Ah! - Look - Don't you speak to me.
Huh? You believe that rubbish? Huh? I done nothing.
I innocent! Ah, Mr Black.
So good of you to walk across the lobby like everyone else.
and not just materialise at the desk.
Sometimes the expected becomes the unexpected.
Oh, so you won't be choosing to disappear.
in Leicester Square today, then? - Sorry? - Well, I just thought if you know, everyone's expecting you to vanish then wouldn't it be utterly amazingly unexpected if you just didn't? You think you're pretty clever, don't you? No, I think I'm pretty and clever.
See, I just thought if the trick was to distract Not everything's a trick.
Oh, I think you'll find it is.
That obviously is.
But some things belie explanation, some things are genuinely magical.
Right, okay.
Now's your chance to go up into his room.
and find out how he does his other tricks.
Why don't you go up? Because these shoes were hardly designed for stealth, were they? Now, go on.
You were jealous of my success you had access to my notebook, and the planned menu.
and you met with Harkness yesterday.
Plus you were the only one this morning that didn't seem to give a damn.
You all right? I've had better days.
- You can't let them beat you.
- What am I supposed to do? - Create another menu.
You've done it once, you can do it again.
I don't think I've got the strength.
You've got loads more ideas in that book, haven't you? - Yes.
- Well, what are you waiting for? If I go now, I can catch Chef before his break.
Can I leave some stuff in your locker? They haven't given me one yet.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Testing, testing, one, two, three.
Hearing you loud and clear, Agent Double D.
I read you, Agent Big Boy.
Over and out.
We know you are.
Do you like to roger, Roger? The Eagle has landed.
- Okay, I'm in.
- Okay, what do you see? Just loads of boxes and wires and stuff.
Nothing that gives any tricks away.
What? What is it? - Just thought I saw something.
- Why? What? - Ooh.
Hang on.
- What have you found? It's a book with lots of writing in it.
It's notes on how he's going to disappear today.
Oh, quick, put it in your jacket and get down here now.
- What? Steal it? - Oh, no, wait.
Do you have a James Bond-style microfilm camera on you? No.
Well, then put it in your jacket and steal it now! Hello, welcome to Hotel Babylon.
Jack, can you tell James to stop being so bloody childish? I done nothing.
Well, a lot of people here think that you have.
Well, a lot of people here are wrong.
And I can tell you who the real thief is.
- Who exactly are you accusing? - Her.
Oh, this is preposterous.
Now you're jealous of my relationship with Chloe.
I didn't think even you could sink that low.
Have I ever lied to you, James? Ever? - Can you prove it? - Yes, I can.
With your help and nuts.
- Nuts? - Nuts? Nuts.
Hi.
Can I help you? My name is Quan.
I'm looking for my sister.
Her name is Mei.
I think she's working in a hotel.
I've looked in many places.
Maybe you have seen her.
- You know her? - Um, yeah.
Yeah, I think I do.
Come this way.
Mei, I've got a surprise for you.
This is your brother.
He's come for you.
This is not my brother.
This is Jiang.
Jiang was my boyfriend.
He brought me here.
- Right.
I want you out of here.
- Come on, Mei.
Let's go.
- I'm calling security.
- And say what? That we've had a prostitute hidden up here all night.
and her pimp has come to get her? Listen to sense.
I mean, it's just someone you booked to do a job.
- Am I right? - You're not taking her.
And I'm not going without her.
So, what now? - Tony, no! - Stop! I'd better warn you, Tony, that behind me there are many others.
The gang can't wait to see you, Mei.
They have a very special welcome-home party planned.
Okay.
How much to keep her? More than you can afford.
We'll see about that.
I said, how much? You can buy her for 10,000.
Fine.
If you are serious, there are four bottles of beer here.
You have until I finish them to bring me the money.
I'll be back.
I promise.
It's all right.
Thanks for coming over.
You said you had a problem.
Nothing serious, I hope.
You've won the battle, Mr Harkness, but the war is far from over.
I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
The good news is that we've uncovered our little mole.
- Really? - How long has Gino been working for you? For me? This conversation's getting stranger by the minute.
But if Gino is looking for a new job, tell him to call me.
When this little fiasco is over, you are finished.
You told Chloe about the new recipe? I've done everything as you wanted it done.
It's going to be all the sweeter when you fall flat on your face.
You like new recipes? I thought you might like to try this one.
It's a quail salad.
- I'm not sure you'll like it.
- Let me be the judge of that.
Mr Harkness! It's got a hazelnut dressing.
So you two do know each other.
Gino was right.
Ah! Good beer.
Maybe I can speed things up with this one.
Hello, John? Yeah, it's Tony.
Well, I'm in a bit of a tight spot, actually.
I was wondering if you could help me out.
Ah! Two down and two to go.
We don't need a running commentary.
And I don't need to be hanging around here.
In fact, I think we'll get out right now! Leave her.
The reason you're hanging around is because in 10 minutes or so you could be leaving this room £10,000 richer.
Clever girl.
Emily Ah! Sweet.
Hello, John.
Yeah, thanks for getting back so quickly.
Really? Okay.
No, no, that's all right.
Thanks, anyway.
Yeah, I can manage.
Speak to you soon.
Cheers.
Now, if you could really disappear imagine all the bills you could avoid paying.
Where's Mr Black gone? Oh, I've no idea, he was here a second ago.
Now, that would be a trick worth perfecting.
I've already told you, not everything is a trick.
You can fool some of the people some of the time but me, never.
- Really? - Really.
I wanted to give you a present before I went.
Both of you.
Thanks.
You couldn't get it.
This is £5,000.
It's as much as I can get.
- Let's go.
- Wait.
You still have one more beer.
- So? - So that gives me five minutes.
Open the door.
Every customer who comes to eat at the Burlington.
will be referred directly here.
And I also want a prominent notice in your restaurant.
crediting Hotel Babylon as the inspiration for your menu.
You drive a hard bargain.
But it's still preferable to us suing you.
for the theft of intellectual property.
I'll see you out.
I don't blame you if you say no.
Can I talk to you for one minute? Please.
I'm sorry.
Don't blame yourself, Tony.
You did what you could.
How do you live with yourself? Get your clothes, get dressed.
Here it is.
It's all here.
The £5,000, to match Tony's five.
Now we get to keep Mei.
And I get to buy four more girls from China.
Just get out.
Anytime you need me again, you've got my card.
No, you get 5,000 now and 5,000 when one of your minions brings her passport.
Understand? And make it quick.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You sold your ring.
It was worth a lot more than £5,000.
I owed money on three credit cards and I was struggling, I couldn't pay my rent.
Mr Harkness said that he'd pay off all my debts.
It wasn't personal.
You did what you had to do.
As you say, it wasn't personal.
I just didn't expect you to be so kind.
I'm sorry.
I'm really I'm really very sorry.
Okay, I'm in.
Okay, what do you see? Just loads of boxes and wires and stuff.
Nothing that gives any tricks away.
But there was no one there.
How did he film this? - Oh, my goodness! - What? It's notes on how he's going to disappear today.
But I looked at these sheets of paper in his room and they had writing and diagrams all over them, I swear.
I'm never leaving you on your own again.
- Where are we going? - A cab's taking you to the airport.
- Airport? - Hmm.
Here's your passport, ticket and a little bit of money to keep you going.
How did you do this? Well, you don't get to be London's best concierge five years running.
- without learning a few tricks.
- Tony.
Oh, listen, I can explain everything.
Go, get into the cab.
Come on.
You'll be home safe soon.
- I hope so.
- Me, too.
Thank you.
Why didn't you tell me what was going on? - It was my mistake to sort out.
- And is it sorted? Who knows? And is it ever gonna happen again? Well, I never want to find myself in that position again if that's what you mean.
If your uniform's still in your locker, you better go and put it on.
I should've trusted you.
I'm sorry, Tony.
No, you would've done exactly the same thing.
Thank you, Jack.
If we learn anything from this job it's that you should never, under any circumstances take anyone solely at face value.
Because if you do you stand a good chance of losing those closest to you.
I made two new cocktails which I dedicate to you.
This one is called A Fresh Start.
Thank you, Gino.
- And what is this called? - This one I name.
"Falling for a two-faced girl who maybe like you "but you're never going to know for sure.
" - You can't resist, can you? - What? Kicking a man when he's down.
Oh, come on, James, you kicked me first, eh? I think you'll find you deserved it.
- No need to get pompous.
- Oh, pompous, right.
Name-calling again.
- Well, that's what you are, pompous.
- Oh, how intelligent.
Listen, you're not the only one who got brains.
- I got brains as well.
- Yes, and you're sitting on yours.
- Yeah, well, look around.
- Yes, I am.
There is an old Chinese proverb.
which says, "The black crow is many-hued.
" - Are you gonna be all right with this? - So what's going on? - You never used to escort us in and out.
- Yeah, new policy.
Look, if you need me, I'm just on the end of the phone, okay? Situations are infinitely more complicated and complex than they may at first appear.
And once you've seen the darker side, you can never be the same person again.
- Am I dead? - The poor child's delirious.
- It was a gun.
- That's what I thought.
I wanted you from the moment I first set eyes on you.
"We are being held in room 510.
" I'm coming back for you, pal.
When you get to the grille, radio us what's going on in the room.
so we can orchestrate our leap into action.
When you say "leap" Whatever it takes to get those kids out of there alive, Jimbo.
- Quiet! - What the bloody hell is going on? What's going on here?
A space in which you're free to unpack the darker corners of your mind.
Not only do you buy our services, you also buy our discretion.
Being nothing more than a name and a room number.
can be a liberating experience.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
What you do in your own room is your own business.
We're not here to pass judgement, we're here to facilitate.
A lot of luggage you've got there, sir.
Oh! Right, well, it's room 406 - Mr Chambers.
- Thank you.
If your wife and family don't understand you, we will.
And if you step out of line, our job is to remain open-minded and tolerant.
Whatever you throw at us, we'll turn the other cheek.
Ow.
You're our guest, which means we'll do all we can.
to make your stay as comfortable and as easy as possible.
Bastard! We'll also do our best.
to shield you from less understanding parties.
But sometimes, even our diplomatic skills can fail.
And that's when we can find ourselves in need of urgent protection.
A full-on brawl in the lobby.
Ah, it's classy.
I'm surprised you didn't have some money on the outcome, Tony.
A little extra on top of your little extra.
Well, it's hardly Tony's fault, is it? The concierge's job is to get the guests whatever they want, no questions asked.
And that always has and always will include girls.
Look, girls have always been part and parcel of any hotel.
as much as food and drink.
I mean, nobody come to a top hotel to eat, eh? But lots of people travel hundreds of miles.
for some rumpy-pumpy in a five-star bedroom, eh? We have some very high-class, high-profile guests staying here.
All I'm asking for is a little bit more discretion.
- Yes, and it's duly noted.
- You sure? Good.
So, talking of high profile guests no doubt you're all aware that Dan Black the magician guy is checking in today.
He's here to do his big disappearing act under Nelson's Column.
So, he'll be attracting a lot of media attention.
Once we unveil our new menu I think the media clamour will eclipse even Mr Black's appearance.
Did you know the Babylon fish pie is now famous? It's the main reason we've been offered a book deal.
Oh, well, it's about time.
All good restaurants have their own cookbook.
Well, absolutely, and I have at least two books worth of recipes right here.
This is the most important item in the hotel.
We all know creating a successful restaurant.
has been a tough nut to crack.
- Well done.
- Thank you.
A lot of our competitors are finally feeling the burn.
Particularly the Burlington.
You know, Michael Harkness' bookings have been down 230/0.
Well, maybe if other people shared the same commitment as me the months sweating over recipes, the weeks of sleepless nights they would be taking on four new members of staff as well.
My bar doing very well, thank you very much.
Really, Gino? And what is weather like up there on Planet Denial? The article is called "Secret London".
They're talking to a whole range of people.
Cabbies, policemen, paramedics, and determining who knows London best.
The journalist is Clarissa Jones.
She's one of the toughest, most influential writers in London.
and someone I'm very keen to get on side.
She's coming here with a photographer at 4:00 if that's okay? I've spent a long time building up my sources and contacts I'm not about to spill my guts to some ball-breaker from some trendy magazine.
- So, thanks, but no thanks.
- It's good publicity for the hotel.
Look, I've got her mobile number if you need it.
Oh, no! This is so lovely of you, Tony.
Well, unlike some people in this hotel, I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.
- Oh, God.
- Was this worth it? Mmm, very nice.
Art Deco, platinum, single stone, two carats? Two point five actually, but pretty close.
It was my grandmother's and if I'd lost it, I Well, that just goes to show what an asset you are.
- Yes, flattery will get you everywhere.
- So, you'll do the article? What part of "no" do you not understand? Well, I always make it a rule.
to be as relentless as the other person's stubborn.
Then we could be batting this back and forth for quite some time.
So that's a yes? My publicist booked me into a place down the road.
but I've been told that this is the best hotel in London, is that right? Well, we like to think so.
- I'm Eddie Palmer, by the way.
- Hello.
- You've heard of Word of Mouth? - The phrase? The chat show.
Eddie Palmer's Word of Mouth.
Highest ratings in the Northwest.
We're bringing it to London, that's why I'm here.
Only get so many big stars to schlep up the M6.
Hi, how are you? There you go.
Okay.
- Do I know you? - Keep watching.
Right.
And how long are you going to be staying with us, Mr Palmer? Tonight and tomorrow night, I'm doing the lottery show.
Pumping up the PR drive.
And before you ask, no, I can't guarantee you a win.
I can get you some tickets for the show, though.
Oh, no, I'm busy on Saturday night unfortunately.
Going to be watching the first coat of emulsion dry.
Be right back.
- Hi, Eddie Palmer.
- Tony Casemore, concierge.
Tony, hi.
I believe you're the person who can get things done round here, am I right? - That's right.
- Yeah, well, being a well known face it's always easy to get a decent table in a restaurant.
But it's impossible to do anything incognito, right? Which is why.
I hope I can rely on you to be discreet.
Of course.
I do have my own supplier for this kind of thing, sir.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm sure they're excellent.
But I've dealt with these people before and I trust them.
Don't worry, they're very professional.
When the restaurant is full and the kitchen's working at top speed it's essential that you're absolutely familiar.
with the geography of the place, so have a good look around.
Stay out of the way of Chef or you'll lose your fingers at best.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
The first bus was full and then the second one was late.
I'm supposed to be meeting James "Scoffield".
I think he must be the restaurant manager.
I'm James "Schofield" and I'm the Food and Beverage Manager.
- Sorry.
- You are? Chloe.
Chloe McCourt.
Hi.
Not a great start, is it, Chloe? Follow me.
Hello, Tony.
Follow me.
How you know I'm from agency? Lucky guess.
I'd really appreciate you making this a quick in-and-out job.
If you get my drift? Special delivery.
Thanks, Tony.
Appreciate it.
If you need an aperitif or a brandy, you have to go to the bar.
- Has anyone got a pen? - Do you have something to say? - No.
- Good.
Obviously we have a sommelier, but you need to know our wine list.
If you were serving our saddle of venison you would recommend something dark and tight with a smoke and tar edge.
Maybe a fine Chianti.
What would you suggest to compliment Oriental food? - Miss McCourt? - Um probably white with a strongish taste to compliment the strong flavours.
Maybe a Riesling or a White Grenache, maybe? - That's very good.
- Thank you.
See, you not the only one who can tart things up, eh? "Tart" being the operative word.
Looks like a Spanish bordello.
This is a Latin bar, eh? Passion and fire.
Hey, you want to learn where the pumping heart of the hotel is forget about the restaurant.
Come and work in the bar, eh? This smacks of the desperate act of a desperate man.
This desperate man gonna smack somebody in a minute.
In the event of a scrap who'd you think the management would side with? The person who's running a massively improved and lucrative department or the one who's still plodding along in the slow lane? - So bring it on, you Andalusian ape.
- You want to make an enemy of Gino? Why, you can't hurt me, I'm untouchable.
We'll see about that.
Pussy boy.
Come on.
Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there Mr Black.
Oh! Maybe I wasn't supposed to see you there.
Right, maybe that's the idea.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No.
Maybe I am, and now you're going to disappear.
in a puff of smoke or something! Now, that would be impressive.
I'm not saying that you should disappear or anything - Breathe.
- What? Stop and breathe, Anna.
Oh, my God.
How did you know my name? Oh, you read it on my name badge.
I am such a dumb brunette.
Actually, you're not wearing a name badge.
What? It was here a second ago.
It must've dropped off.
Would you check your left inside pocket for me, Ben? Oh! Wow.
I'm sure you get this all the time.
But I really love what you do.
If I could just get you to sign over here.
Ah! No, wait.
Do another one.
Do one for me.
Oh, well, he was really unimpressive in real life.
Uh, jealous.
No, I've seen Coco the Clown do better tricks.
Why are you trying to get it in the mini-bar? To stop it melting.
Do you mind if I ask what it is exactly? - It's an award.
- Who gives out an award made of ice? The National Association of Ice Sculptors.
- Of course.
- Clarissa Jones is just in.
- Okay, who? - The journalist I told you about.
I've booked her and the photographer into the Olympia suite.
- So when you're finished, come up.
- Okay, have you seen who's here? - Who? - Michael Harkness.
The general manager of the Burlington? Yeah, he's over there looking at the restaurant menu.
We must have them worried.
Excuse me one minute.
Concierge.
Tony, is that you? - Yup.
Could you come up? I need some help, please.
Okay, all right.
I'm coming straight up.
Mr Palmer? Eddie? - Sorry about that.
- What's happened? She bit me.
Clamped on me like a rottweiler.
- Where is she now? - She left.
- It's all gone pear-shaped, I'm afraid.
- Okay, let's take care of this first.
I'll need you to drip some of that blood into the bathroom sink.
The story goes you gashed your hand on the tumbler.
Oh.
Thanks.
- Did you book a specialist? - What'd you mean by that? The suitcase.
Tony, I need another girl.
Now, you said you had contacts.
I think we should just quit while we're both ahead, yeah? How much do you need to make it happen? Hundred? Couple of hundred? I'll get housekeeping to come up and clear up the glass.
Come on, Tony.
What does it take? Eddie, I'm not getting you another girl.
Why? You're the resident pimp, aren't you? - We must stop meeting like this.
- Right.
Or maybe it's fate.
- What's this? - Hold the pack and think of a card.
- Any card.
- Okay.
Now visualise it.
- Are you visualising the card? - Yeah.
Now think of the card spinning in the air.
Hand the pack back to me.
- Okay.
- What was your card? Six of diamonds.
I thought so.
We do have a connection.
Ben if you ever need a lift, you know where to come.
About an hour and a half so I am so sorry.
I'll chase up the company and see what the concierge has booked for you.
Where've you been? Trying to do my job under increasingly difficult circumstances.
Well, how about doing your job here where you belong? I'm on it.
- The ambulance delivered this.
- Thank you, Ben.
Right, this is ordinarily used.
for transporting human organs from the recently departed.
It should get you and your lovely ice sculpture.
home and safely to your freezer.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Dan Black levitated in the lift earlier.
I do not want to know about your sordid little encounters.
- It was incredible.
- He's an illusionist which means it wasn't incredible, it was entirely credible.
How come you're the expert in all things illusional all of a sudden? Look, Benjamin, you don't know everything about me.
Hmm? Okay, what would you like to bet that the levitation was actually a trick? - An extra day off.
- All right, you're on.
What Tony doesn't know about London isn't worth knowing.
Would you like some tea or coffee brought up? I'll have to take a rain-check on the tea party.
My next riveting interview is with a geriatric NCP security guard.
in 45 minutes.
Well, if it's stories about London you're after then you'll probably need more than - Who the hell are you? - I work here.
What as? Look, there's been a mistake, I'll call security.
Wait.
- I'm a friend of Tony's.
- Tony the concierge? I'll tell you what, Emily, tell Tony that when we're doing an article.
on depravity and vice in top hotels, we'll be in touch.
No, wait, Clarissa! Come back! Do you have any idea what you've just done? What've you lost? It's my notebook.
The one with all the recipes in it.
It's a disaster.
- What's this? A new game? - He's lost his notebook.
Oh, my God! Not the most important book in the entire hotel? It is important.
And if you weren't so obsessed with this whole rivalry thing you'd be helping us look for it.
Oh, forget it.
He isn't going to help anyone but himself.
The pork chick with honey and clove on page 2 look very tasty.
Yes, lots of nice recipes in this book.
Very tasty.
What? No reward? Eh? No, "Thank you very much, Gino.
You save my life.
" Eh? Thank you for standing up for me.
Do you have any idea how stupid I felt? I mean, what is to stop Clarissa Jones.
making Hotel Babylon look like a brothel? Okay, the first thing we have to do is get you out of here.
And a low profile in the lobby would be appreciated.
I'm not stupid.
Oh, yeah, because it takes a lot of acumen to be a prostitute these days.
Why don't you go downstairs first and check that the coast is clear? No, I've done all the favours I'm doing for you today.
This is your problem.
You sort it.
All right, straight out the front and then on your way.
Have I embarrassed you? - Hide me.
- What? - Get me out of here.
- Just keep walking.
I can't.
Please.
Is there a back way? If he catches me, the gang will kill me.
Please? So, who is that guy at the bar? Your minder? His name Chen.
He's their minder.
He brings me here.
I thought he'd be gone by now.
- It's Chen.
I have to answer.
- Hang on.
Did they do this to you? I'm going to put you somewhere safe until the coast is clear.
Then you're on your own.
Come on.
Just here.
The restaurant here is so-so.
For me, the only place to eat is the tapas bar around the corner.
Left out the door then first right.
It's called Papa's Tapas.
Tell them Gino sent you, eh? Gino, yes.
Oh! You like what I've done so far? I'm not sure I'm quite getting the theme.
It's a bull.
It's virility.
Potency, eh? Machismo.
Yeah, it's just not working for me, Gino.
I want the bar back the way it was.
But you let Mr Smarty Pants do what he wants with the restaurant.
I let James do what he wants as long as it's working for the hotel.
This is a knee-jerk reaction.
It's cheap and it's tacky and it's just not working.
Oh and the next time I hear you.
recommending another restaurant to the guests you'll be the one stuffed and sitting on the bar.
Okay? What are you looking at, Bob? Risotto and the soufflé are for table five.
In the far corner.
No, the other corner.
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I'm sorry, miss.
Please, excuse us.
We'll have this tidied up in no time.
Excuse me.
- I'm so sorry.
- It could've happened to anyone.
- Are you okay? Nothing broken? - Just the plate I think.
Well, between you and me, Chef's gazpacho is not the best anyway.
It's way too salty.
Okay.
So it's not much, but it'll do for now.
It's already better than where I live.
So what are you gonna do? Run away? I'm a long way from home.
How far? I'm from Guangdong in Eastern China.
Two years ago, I came to England with my boyfriend, Jiang.
The people who brought us here promised me a flat and a job.
And you believed them? It was only after I arrived that I realised Jiang worked for them.
He was just pretending to be my boyfriend.
And now he runs things for them in London.
Nice guy.
They told me I owe them money for transport, rent and food.
And now they're making you work it off as a prostitute.
- We should go to the police.
- No! No police.
I ran away before, they just handed me back.
They said they'd kill me if I did it again.
- Promise me you won't call them.
- Okay.
Okay, I promise.
You know, I don't even know your name.
- Mei.
- How old are you, Mei? How old do you want me to be? Mei, I'm not a punter.
I'm just trying to be your friend.
I'm 15.
"How to perform human levitation.
" Now, you sure you want to know how it's done? Because this could remove the golden glow from Dan Black for you.
Okay.
Right.
First you need a gullible member of the audience.
Great.
Anna's about to do magic, everyone.
The key is in the distraction.
Now, first you have to say something like "Oh, this doesn't always work.
" Or, "This is going to take a lot of energy.
" And then you just, abracadabra.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! You are a witch.
You owe me a day off.
You see, what you're actually doing there is called the Balducci Levitation.
It's named after the magician who invented it, Ed Balducci.
- Black took it from him.
- You are so my Phone-A-Friend.
If you can do that, you can do his other tricks.
- Now you're talking.
- He's a trained professional.
A professional conman.
Once we work out how to do his tricks, we can expose him to the world.
And create our own act! - Yes! - It was a joke.
So where did you learn how to do that? I was Sparkle Bunny, the magician's assistant.
I've been split in half more times than you guys have had hot dinners.
Dismantling the Costa del Sol, are we? What do you want, Mr Harkness? Well, as this is a bar, how about a drink? What shall I try this time? A Slow Burn or the Spanish Sunset? I'd pay a lot of money to find out how these are made.
Can't eat nuts.
Got any olives? It can't be easy for you seeing the restaurant being lauded left, right and centre.
Which is why I've got a proposition for you.
- A proposition? - We're on the same side, Gino facing a common enemy.
Together we could really challenge them.
Mr Harkness, two visits in one day.
We are honoured.
I was just telling Gino how impressed we all are.
with the upturn in fortunes for the restaurant.
We'll carry on our conversation later, Gino.
Continued success, Mr Harrison.
Thank you.
Off out somewhere nice, Mr Palmer? Yeah, I thought I'd find a local club somewhere.
Anywhere you'd recommend? With all respect, I think you've had enough for tonight, don't you? I don't need a lecture.
Particularly from someone like you.
You do your job.
That girl you had in your room was trafficked.
Did you know that? She was taken from China and brought here like a slave.
And do you know how old she was? - Keep your voice down.
- 15! Not much older than my daughter.
She was well up for it, too, believe me.
Get out of my way.
- Mr Palmer.
Oh, my God, Tony.
What the hell has got into you? Mr Palmer, I'm so, so sorry.
Yeah, you will be.
- Tony.
- Mr Palmer, are you sure you're okay? You physically assaulted a guest in the lobby.
And I had a very good reason for doing so.
Look, I want a full explanation and I want it now.
Otherwise - Talk to me, Tony.
- Trust me.
He had it coming, let's leave it at that.
Right, so that's it, then, is it? Yes.
You know I have to be seen to be dealing with this, don't you? - I can't just let it go.
- So then you do what you got to do.
Last chance.
What happened? Okay.
Go and pack up your things.
You're sacked.
Thought you could do with this.
Thank you.
All work and no play Well, at the moment this is my number one priority.
Yeah, but you must be confident about it.
To be honest, I'm terrified.
I haven't slept properly for weeks.
Well, you see, if it's a success then the chef gets all the credit.
And if it's a disaster then I get hauled up in front of the general manager.
- So why bother? - Because I love it.
Just reading this makes me feel hungry.
Good.
There's a few of us going round the corner to the wine bar.
to celebrate the first day and that That's a good idea.
So if you fancy a quick drink Oh, I'd love to but - No, I really have to finish up here.
- Okay.
- Maybe some other time? - Yeah.
So what's this? Going for total meltdown? - Jack just sacked me.
- I'm sorry.
Well, I suppose as sackable offences go hitting a guest in the hotel lobby is right up there.
Well, what was it that got you so angry? - Do you really want to know? - Yes.
- She's still here.
- This is Mei.
She was abducted and brought here from China.
You know, I've turned a blind eye to a lot of things in my time, Emily.
But this girl is 15 years old.
If you've been abducted there must be people who are worried about you, looking for you.
I have one brother.
Quan.
But I don't know if he's looking for me.
There must be people who help girls like this.
A place we can take her.
Okay, I'll get on the net and look into it.
In the meantime In the meantime, you've got to get out of here.
- Okay, well, look after her for me.
- What? Find her a safe place to stay until tomorrow.
No, I've got things to do tonight.
Emily, please? Her life's in danger.
After a while in this job.
you've got people tagged, tied up and filed away.
The concierge who lost the plot.
The work-obsessed restaurant manager.
The PR who's more interested in her own life than that of others.
You're not staying? Oh, no, I said I'd meet some people tonight.
And the barman, doing whatever it takes to protect his territory.
Hello, Mr Harkness? Usually we get it right.
Chloe.
Before you get off, there's something I'd like to run by you.
But sometimes we get it wrong.
I thought I'd take you up on that drink.
We might as well travel in style.
And we realise that we don't really know people at all.
I thought you had already gone.
Oh, I'll stay here tonight.
You're hungry.
Twenty years I've been working in this place suddenly I'm reduced to sneaking around like a common criminal.
- How is she? - Yeah, she managed to get some sleep.
- What about you? - I got a couple of hours.
Well, there are a few organisations that look after traffic girls.
but there's no space available for at least a week.
Well, this room's booked out today.
So we have to find her somewhere else.
We need a plan, Tony.
We need to know what we're going to do next.
- Hello.
- Morning.
- Did you get home okay last night? - I did.
I had a lovely time, thank you.
I was hoping maybe we could do it again sometime soon.
All right, then.
Whatever it is, it can't knock me off my stride today.
We got this from the Burlington, it came out this morning.
Oh, my God.
They've taken the whole bloody menu.
What happen? Somebody die? Oh.
Shame.
The day before we unveil ours.
- This is going to be really bad for PR.
- Where's the sauce? Can't have a bacon sandwich without sauce.
Do you know how long this took to perfect? - Night after night, honing till it sang.
- Excuse.
Well, there must be a mole.
- Who? Well, if Tony was here, he'd find out, wouldn't he? - Yes, well, Tony isn't here, is he? - There's a mole, all right.
And it doesn't take a genius to work out who it is.
I always said he was trouble.
I love bacon.
Tanya, just in time.
Could you just open the door there for me? Ah, okay.
Hey, could one of you just Can you just check when the rep will be here? I need to make sure the bar is stocked.
- Did you hear something? - No.
No, neither did I.
Guys? Guys? Lewis? Hey.
You better tell me you had nothing to do with this.
- Leave him alone, he's upset.
- He upset? I upset.
Why everybody giving me the cold shoulders, huh? And why has somebody rip off the head of Bob? Because you are a snake, an assassin.
And you sold my menu to the Burlington.
Hey, you better have proof to bandy up such accusations.
Proof? You are jealous of my success you had access to my notebook, and you met with Harkness yesterday.
Plus you were the only one this morning that didn't seem to give a damn.
- Look, Mr Harkness - I don't want to hear your excuses.
- Mr - Ah! - Look - Don't you speak to me.
Huh? You believe that rubbish? Huh? I done nothing.
I innocent! Ah, Mr Black.
So good of you to walk across the lobby like everyone else.
and not just materialise at the desk.
Sometimes the expected becomes the unexpected.
Oh, so you won't be choosing to disappear.
in Leicester Square today, then? - Sorry? - Well, I just thought if you know, everyone's expecting you to vanish then wouldn't it be utterly amazingly unexpected if you just didn't? You think you're pretty clever, don't you? No, I think I'm pretty and clever.
See, I just thought if the trick was to distract Not everything's a trick.
Oh, I think you'll find it is.
That obviously is.
But some things belie explanation, some things are genuinely magical.
Right, okay.
Now's your chance to go up into his room.
and find out how he does his other tricks.
Why don't you go up? Because these shoes were hardly designed for stealth, were they? Now, go on.
You were jealous of my success you had access to my notebook, and the planned menu.
and you met with Harkness yesterday.
Plus you were the only one this morning that didn't seem to give a damn.
You all right? I've had better days.
- You can't let them beat you.
- What am I supposed to do? - Create another menu.
You've done it once, you can do it again.
I don't think I've got the strength.
You've got loads more ideas in that book, haven't you? - Yes.
- Well, what are you waiting for? If I go now, I can catch Chef before his break.
Can I leave some stuff in your locker? They haven't given me one yet.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Testing, testing, one, two, three.
Hearing you loud and clear, Agent Double D.
I read you, Agent Big Boy.
Over and out.
We know you are.
Do you like to roger, Roger? The Eagle has landed.
- Okay, I'm in.
- Okay, what do you see? Just loads of boxes and wires and stuff.
Nothing that gives any tricks away.
What? What is it? - Just thought I saw something.
- Why? What? - Ooh.
Hang on.
- What have you found? It's a book with lots of writing in it.
It's notes on how he's going to disappear today.
Oh, quick, put it in your jacket and get down here now.
- What? Steal it? - Oh, no, wait.
Do you have a James Bond-style microfilm camera on you? No.
Well, then put it in your jacket and steal it now! Hello, welcome to Hotel Babylon.
Jack, can you tell James to stop being so bloody childish? I done nothing.
Well, a lot of people here think that you have.
Well, a lot of people here are wrong.
And I can tell you who the real thief is.
- Who exactly are you accusing? - Her.
Oh, this is preposterous.
Now you're jealous of my relationship with Chloe.
I didn't think even you could sink that low.
Have I ever lied to you, James? Ever? - Can you prove it? - Yes, I can.
With your help and nuts.
- Nuts? - Nuts? Nuts.
Hi.
Can I help you? My name is Quan.
I'm looking for my sister.
Her name is Mei.
I think she's working in a hotel.
I've looked in many places.
Maybe you have seen her.
- You know her? - Um, yeah.
Yeah, I think I do.
Come this way.
Mei, I've got a surprise for you.
This is your brother.
He's come for you.
This is not my brother.
This is Jiang.
Jiang was my boyfriend.
He brought me here.
- Right.
I want you out of here.
- Come on, Mei.
Let's go.
- I'm calling security.
- And say what? That we've had a prostitute hidden up here all night.
and her pimp has come to get her? Listen to sense.
I mean, it's just someone you booked to do a job.
- Am I right? - You're not taking her.
And I'm not going without her.
So, what now? - Tony, no! - Stop! I'd better warn you, Tony, that behind me there are many others.
The gang can't wait to see you, Mei.
They have a very special welcome-home party planned.
Okay.
How much to keep her? More than you can afford.
We'll see about that.
I said, how much? You can buy her for 10,000.
Fine.
If you are serious, there are four bottles of beer here.
You have until I finish them to bring me the money.
I'll be back.
I promise.
It's all right.
Thanks for coming over.
You said you had a problem.
Nothing serious, I hope.
You've won the battle, Mr Harkness, but the war is far from over.
I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
The good news is that we've uncovered our little mole.
- Really? - How long has Gino been working for you? For me? This conversation's getting stranger by the minute.
But if Gino is looking for a new job, tell him to call me.
When this little fiasco is over, you are finished.
You told Chloe about the new recipe? I've done everything as you wanted it done.
It's going to be all the sweeter when you fall flat on your face.
You like new recipes? I thought you might like to try this one.
It's a quail salad.
- I'm not sure you'll like it.
- Let me be the judge of that.
Mr Harkness! It's got a hazelnut dressing.
So you two do know each other.
Gino was right.
Ah! Good beer.
Maybe I can speed things up with this one.
Hello, John? Yeah, it's Tony.
Well, I'm in a bit of a tight spot, actually.
I was wondering if you could help me out.
Ah! Two down and two to go.
We don't need a running commentary.
And I don't need to be hanging around here.
In fact, I think we'll get out right now! Leave her.
The reason you're hanging around is because in 10 minutes or so you could be leaving this room £10,000 richer.
Clever girl.
Emily Ah! Sweet.
Hello, John.
Yeah, thanks for getting back so quickly.
Really? Okay.
No, no, that's all right.
Thanks, anyway.
Yeah, I can manage.
Speak to you soon.
Cheers.
Now, if you could really disappear imagine all the bills you could avoid paying.
Where's Mr Black gone? Oh, I've no idea, he was here a second ago.
Now, that would be a trick worth perfecting.
I've already told you, not everything is a trick.
You can fool some of the people some of the time but me, never.
- Really? - Really.
I wanted to give you a present before I went.
Both of you.
Thanks.
You couldn't get it.
This is £5,000.
It's as much as I can get.
- Let's go.
- Wait.
You still have one more beer.
- So? - So that gives me five minutes.
Open the door.
Every customer who comes to eat at the Burlington.
will be referred directly here.
And I also want a prominent notice in your restaurant.
crediting Hotel Babylon as the inspiration for your menu.
You drive a hard bargain.
But it's still preferable to us suing you.
for the theft of intellectual property.
I'll see you out.
I don't blame you if you say no.
Can I talk to you for one minute? Please.
I'm sorry.
Don't blame yourself, Tony.
You did what you could.
How do you live with yourself? Get your clothes, get dressed.
Here it is.
It's all here.
The £5,000, to match Tony's five.
Now we get to keep Mei.
And I get to buy four more girls from China.
Just get out.
Anytime you need me again, you've got my card.
No, you get 5,000 now and 5,000 when one of your minions brings her passport.
Understand? And make it quick.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You sold your ring.
It was worth a lot more than £5,000.
I owed money on three credit cards and I was struggling, I couldn't pay my rent.
Mr Harkness said that he'd pay off all my debts.
It wasn't personal.
You did what you had to do.
As you say, it wasn't personal.
I just didn't expect you to be so kind.
I'm sorry.
I'm really I'm really very sorry.
Okay, I'm in.
Okay, what do you see? Just loads of boxes and wires and stuff.
Nothing that gives any tricks away.
But there was no one there.
How did he film this? - Oh, my goodness! - What? It's notes on how he's going to disappear today.
But I looked at these sheets of paper in his room and they had writing and diagrams all over them, I swear.
I'm never leaving you on your own again.
- Where are we going? - A cab's taking you to the airport.
- Airport? - Hmm.
Here's your passport, ticket and a little bit of money to keep you going.
How did you do this? Well, you don't get to be London's best concierge five years running.
- without learning a few tricks.
- Tony.
Oh, listen, I can explain everything.
Go, get into the cab.
Come on.
You'll be home safe soon.
- I hope so.
- Me, too.
Thank you.
Why didn't you tell me what was going on? - It was my mistake to sort out.
- And is it sorted? Who knows? And is it ever gonna happen again? Well, I never want to find myself in that position again if that's what you mean.
If your uniform's still in your locker, you better go and put it on.
I should've trusted you.
I'm sorry, Tony.
No, you would've done exactly the same thing.
Thank you, Jack.
If we learn anything from this job it's that you should never, under any circumstances take anyone solely at face value.
Because if you do you stand a good chance of losing those closest to you.
I made two new cocktails which I dedicate to you.
This one is called A Fresh Start.
Thank you, Gino.
- And what is this called? - This one I name.
"Falling for a two-faced girl who maybe like you "but you're never going to know for sure.
" - You can't resist, can you? - What? Kicking a man when he's down.
Oh, come on, James, you kicked me first, eh? I think you'll find you deserved it.
- No need to get pompous.
- Oh, pompous, right.
Name-calling again.
- Well, that's what you are, pompous.
- Oh, how intelligent.
Listen, you're not the only one who got brains.
- I got brains as well.
- Yes, and you're sitting on yours.
- Yeah, well, look around.
- Yes, I am.
There is an old Chinese proverb.
which says, "The black crow is many-hued.
" - Are you gonna be all right with this? - So what's going on? - You never used to escort us in and out.
- Yeah, new policy.
Look, if you need me, I'm just on the end of the phone, okay? Situations are infinitely more complicated and complex than they may at first appear.
And once you've seen the darker side, you can never be the same person again.
- Am I dead? - The poor child's delirious.
- It was a gun.
- That's what I thought.
I wanted you from the moment I first set eyes on you.
"We are being held in room 510.
" I'm coming back for you, pal.
When you get to the grille, radio us what's going on in the room.
so we can orchestrate our leap into action.
When you say "leap" Whatever it takes to get those kids out of there alive, Jimbo.
- Quiet! - What the bloody hell is going on? What's going on here?