Private Practice s03e07 Episode Script

Know what gets on my nerves? Mm.
This assertion that we are supposed to pair up.
You know, that we have to be in couples.
I mean, love, marriage.
You know, marriage was invented as a financial transaction, and it does not make you whole.
- Yeah, a lot of marriages end in divorce.
- Yes, most marriages end in divorce.
I'm divorced.
You're divorced.
Marriage is stupid.
- My life is mine.
- Right? - It's a good life.
- Right.
Last night, I stayed home with my cat.
We ordered sushi and learned about the Kombai tribes of New Guinea.
Hmm.
Good times.
Oh, I need sex, Sam, like I need water.
I'm in a desert.
And it's not actually the sex that I miss, which I would be very grateful for.
Let's be clear about that.
It's just that feeling, you know, of being alive.
I mean, the flutter that you get in your stomach when you first kiss someone, and your lips part and your tongues Ugh, stop.
Just stop.
I gotta sit.
Okay, I need it too.
- But if you tell anybody this - I won't.
- What if you had said yes? - Yes to what? In med school, when I asked you out and - Right.
- Sam.
What if you had said yes? Well, I mean, I couldn't, Nai was Is Was my best friend and she had a huge crush on you.
I know, and so I asked her out, and then we got married, and then we got divorced.
Derek asked you out, you got married and you got divorced.
So I'm asking you now, what if you had said yes? Do you think that we would've had a shot at making it? - Me and you? - Me and you.
Help me.
Help me.
Over here.
Help me.
- What happened? - My wife All right, pulse and respiratory rate are rapid.
Unh.
- I have no signal this deep in the canyon.
- Use mine.
All right, tender on the right side.
- He's losing a lot of blood.
- My wife We're gonna call her as soon as we can.
No, our car crashed.
I tried to get help.
Kara, she's over there.
Help my wife.
Oh, thank God you came.
Kara, my name's Addison.
I'm a doctor.
- Where does it hurt? - Everywhere.
And we're stuck.
Can you get us out? Where's Jake? - Did they get him to the hospital? - Jake's with my friend Sam, he's a doctor.
Uh, let's try to get you out of this car, okay? I can't, my arm is stuck.
Here.
Okay, can you? - Can you feel your fingers? - I could yesterday.
Now they're tingly.
I'm worried about the baby.
- You've been here since yesterday? - Yeah.
It was getting dark when we crashed and Jake left before sunset.
When he didn't come back, I was afraid.
Thank God he made it out.
We found him about 50 feet up on the hill.
He was out there? All night? But I thought you were here to get me out.
It's just you and It's just you and your friend? - You can't get me out.
- Okay, Kara.
Kara, listen to me, Jake is alive, Sam is helping him, but I need to check the baby.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Now, when's your due date? - Um.
Today.
I'm due today.
Oh, hey, guys, we close early on Saturdays.
- Brendon got married today, dude.
- Mazeltov, Brendon.
- Mazeltov.
- Mazeltov.
Yeah, you can't drink in here, you guys.
You, uh Your wedding day's a big day.
You might not wanna be so drunk you forget.
I'm not drunk.
I have a problem.
It's my wedding night.
And Melissa and I? Tonight will be the first time.
Okay, you're virgins.
We figured it was important to make the first time, you know, special.
That's sweet.
Uh - I'm sorry, did you need something? - Well, I didn't wanna take a chance.
So I took these pills right after we said, "I do.
" I was hoping they would kick in by tonight, and they did.
But it's been up for like three hours.
My mother-in-law tried to hug me.
- Oh.
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, okay, okay.
How many did you take? - Four.
Maybe five.
- Mm-hm.
This is the sexology place, right? She's dehydrated, I'm afraid of vascular collapse.
- Baby's okay? - Said she can feel movement.
I can't angle in to hear the fetal heartbeat.
There could be a placenta abruption.
I don't know.
How's he doing? Broken rib, he's got a deep gash to his thigh.
Bleeding internally.
He's bad.
- I gotta get help fast.
- You can get out here before dark? If I run, maybe.
I mean, it took us three hours just to get in.
I'll just go back and forth between them, try to keep them both stable until you come back with help.
I'll put a pressure dressing on him so he doesn't bleed out, then I'll go.
Okay.
Go fast, Sam.
Whew.
Hello.
Which one of you has the erection? Priapism's no joke, fellas.
If I don't get that mast down, this boat'll never sail.
- You wanna walk my plank, captain? - Hey.
- What's your name? - Dan.
Well, Dan, let me tell you the procedure for reversing priapism.
First, I take a long-gauge needle and I push it down the head of the penis.
And I slowly draw out blood, flush it with saline, and repeat.
You still the man, Dan? Now, who has the erection? Nice to meet you.
Follow me.
- Unh! Okay.
Sorry, sorry, man.
It's okay, it's okay.
As long as you're taking care of Kara, it's okay.
Well, you both survived a really horrible crash.
The baby seems okay.
I thought I could make it out.
I thought I could do it, you know.
All right, Addison will be back to check up on you.
- What's wrong, what's wrong? - I can't breathe.
Damn it, you've got a collapsed lung.
Okay, um.
Okay, um.
I'm gonna have to make an incision in your chest to relieve some of this pressure.
All right, this is gonna hurt.
Here we go.
Stay with me, Jake.
Stay with me, Jake.
Jake.
You need to drop them.
- Uh.
I can't.
We're dealing with a ticking clock.
The longer you wait, the greater chance of vascular and neurological damage.
- Do you want your johnson to fall off? - No.
- He's a virgin.
It's his wedding night.
- What's that have to do with it? I think standing in front of Maria Sharapova with a pitched tent is like cheating on his bride.
That is the dumbest thing I've heard.
I'm a physician, and we've a tennis court reserved.
Okay.
What if I came in? If I was there sort of like a chaperone? For his penis? Fine.
Just get his pants off.
Uh, Charlotte, I think you might wanna change your clothes.
Does that hurt? - Mm, no.
Okay.
This is my fault.
The crash.
A bee flew in the car and I grabbed Jake's arm.
- I didn't mean to.
- It was an accident.
That hurts.
It's your rib.
It's probably broken.
That ought to make delivery really fun, huh? Well, my vote is for a C-section in a hospital.
I second that vote.
Jake wanted a home birth.
I told him that's fine, as long as the baby came out of him.
Ha, ha.
- Ooh.
Addison.
What? What happened? Come on.
Collapsed lung.
Easy.
There we go, there we go.
I had to improvise a chest tube.
He's stable, but we have to keep opening the tube every half an hour, or he'll arrest.
I brought him here so you could watch both of them.
What's happening? Jake.
Jake? Tell her Tell her I'm okay, please.
- He's okay, Kara.
- Unh.
- Sam, it's gonna be dark soon.
- I know.
We had a hard time finding the trail during daylight.
Yeah, well, the car came from somewhere.
I'm gonna try to find the road.
- I'll be fine.
- All right.
What's happening? Nothing.
It's just Jake's having Hit the brakes.
- He drop his drawers? - Gowned and waiting.
Thank you.
- Oh, you scared me.
- You scared me.
- I thought everybody had left.
- Had a late walk-in.
- What you doing here? - I got work.
It's Saturday night.
Well, it's not like there's a lot happening at home.
- True.
What did you to do him? It's not our fault.
- Don't lie to me.
- Have a beer.
- Don't want a beer.
- Okay, everybody just calm down.
Don't tell me to calm down.
This was supposed to be the best night of my life and they've ruined it.
My wedding reception is going on right now and there is no groom.
You seem very upset right now.
Maybe we can go somewhere and have a talk.
- Is it true about his thing? Ha-ha-ha.
It's not funny.
It's my wedding night.
Come on, I'll take you to your husband.
Addison.
- Addison.
- I'm okay.
Kara? All right? - Still here.
- Are you okay? - Yes.
- Is she okay? - Yeah.
Okay, okay.
Um.
- You're bleeding.
- What? - Oh, I hit my head.
All right.
It's nothing.
I'm okay.
Let me take a look at it.
I can't open the door.
- What? - I can't open the door.
Help.
Rock's blocking the door.
Help me.
Okay, okay.
Look, can you get out that window? No.
Sam.
Okay.
If you can't get out, I can't leave.
Jake is tubing.
It'll clog and he will die.
What? What is it? Nothing.
All right? - Kara - We're gonna figure this out.
We're gonna have to, uh Probably gonna have to stay here through - Wait out the night.
- What? Bourbon, neat.
- Can I get you a drink? - Thanks, but I've got one coming.
Oh, sorry it took so long.
That bartender was a total Pete.
What are you doing here? - Having a drink.
- I can see that.
- Why are you here? - Just like you, trying to have a little fun.
- Maybe I should go.
- No, no, wait.
Thanks for the drink, Shelly.
- Shelly? - She came up with that on her own.
- Hope I didn't ruin your game.
- Ha, ha.
Don't worry about it.
I wasn't that interested.
- So you're trying out the single life? - I am single.
Right, right, of course.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
- You and Violet - Okay, stop.
I'm not going there.
Tonight is about good booze and single women, period.
On the prowl, are you? - You know - Trying to prove a point? - Sheldon, it's a big bar.
- Okay, but, look, we're colleagues now.
And aside from that thing that once came between us, there's no reason we can't be friends.
Maybe we would've been friends, if not for that thing we won't talk about.
I doubt it.
- You stuck a needle in his - It's okay, baby, it didn't hurt.
She froze it first.
And so our next option is to insert a shunt to re-direct the blood flow.
A shunt? - That sounds big.
- It is.
But it's what I got.
- Otherwise, I'll have to de-glove the penis.
- De-glove? Make a circular incision around the glans, roll back the skin, and squeeze out the blood.
Oh, God.
- Feeling better? - Yeah, a little.
So how long have you been pregnant? This wasn't supposed to happen.
When we made our virginity pledge, everyone made fun of us.
Said we were freaks.
But we liked being different.
It was our way of saying what we had together was special.
Well, the fact that you couldn't keep your promise is understandable.
No, no, no, you don't get it.
We made a pledge.
It's a big commitment.
One that's difficult to keep.
Yeah, that's what Jenny said at my bachelorette party.
- Who's Jenny? - My sister.
She and her friends were telling stories about their first time, how much it hurt.
They said I should just do it.
Just get it over with.
That way, it would be great when I was with Brendon.
It's not Brendon's? If the wedding night were close, Brendon would think it was.
Is that the kind of marriage you want? A relationship based on a lie? You're gonna have to tell him.
Okay, I'm gonna go get Jake.
That way, I can help you and him.
Will he make it through the night? Yes, if the tube holds, yeah.
Good.
That's good.
Unh! Addison.
It hurts, something hurts.
Unh! I think I'm bleeding.
It's not blood.
Your water broke, you're in labor.
Oh.
- Hey, you've played before.
- I lived for a while on Army post.
Wasn't much to do at night except go to the bar, drink and play darts.
- You were in the Army? - National Guard.
I was called up as a reserve doctor when we invaded Iraq.
You see any action? Stationed at a veteran's hospital in Landstuhl, Germany.
I saw some action in Bosnia.
Doctors Without Borders.
I had some pretty close calls in the field.
I'm sure burning sage in a war zone was quite dangerous.
Is there something you wanna say about the type of medicine I practice? I think I just did.
Oh, look, you lose.
- Let's go again.
- I'll take your money all night.
- Uh, hey.
Hey.
- Way out of your league on this one.
- We'll see about that.
Vodka.
Thank you.
So, what I'm concerned about What are you doing? Hoping Violet gets Melissa to come clean with Brendon.
She's pregnant by someone else.
And Violet is involved why? Because Brendon needs to know.
Violet should mind her own business.
Charlotte.
It's just Good.
Good.
It's gonna be really good.
- What do you think you're doing? - Talking to a patient.
- She's not your patient.
- Excuse me? My patient's wife, came in for a stuck penis.
- Not a relationship-ectomy.
- Charlotte No one asked us to insert ourselves in their personal life.
Melissa is upset.
- I am helping her to figure out what - No.
- You are doing nothing.
- Charlotte No one is saying anything to anyone.
It's my patient and my penis.
Something's wrong.
That's funny.
Everything's wrong.
The force of the impact shifted the baby.
He's in a breech position.
What does that mean? Is he okay? It means that his legs are pointing down.
I can't deliver him in this position without turning him.
Don't move, hold still.
I'm gonna try to flip the baby.
- It's gonna hurt.
- Okay.
Okay.
Stop.
Did it work? I'm sorry.
Addison.
- How we doing? - The baby It's a footling breech.
I can't move him and he's coming.
- How long? - Soon.
If I manage to turn him, I don't know if I can deliver in this position.
We can't wait.
I'm afraid we're gonna lose all three of them.
What are you doing with my tackle box? Trying to give you as much time as possible while I'm gone.
The tubing's loose.
If I can sew it into your skin, it won't get pulled out of place.
- Which would kill me? - I think it'll give you more time.
You promise me you'll, uh, come back, right? And bring help for Kara? I promise.
Let's get it over with then, so you can go.
Okay, everyone.
Visiting hours are over.
- Let's go, Melissa.
- I want her to stay.
- That's fine with me.
Okay.
- I'll be outside if you need me.
- Will you stay? Please? So I don't freak out.
Great.
Party in Procedure Room 1.
I know this might sound a little forward, but I saw you from over there and I think you are stunning.
You have this unstoppable sex appeal.
You know, you're like the Niagara Falls of sexy.
- Wow, that was terrible.
- Horrific.
- Well, I'm Sheldon.
- Dawn.
- Can I buy you a drink, Dawn? - I'd like that.
- Um, a margarita.
- Uh, beer and a margarita, please.
While you're at it, I'll take a bourbon straight up.
Thanks, Sheldon.
Oh, you two know each other? - We're colleagues.
- Doctors, actually.
Well, I'm a doctor, Sheldon's a shrink.
Psychiatrist, which means I have medical training and emotional depth.
- I bet you're very easy to talk to.
- Oh, he is.
It's kind of like talking to your dad.
Gee, look what time it is, Pete.
Shouldn't you be getting home to your baby? - Oh, you've a baby.
- Yeah, I'm a single parent.
And at his age.
I got it.
- I got it.
- No, I've got it.
- I got it.
- Put your money away.
I'm gonna let you two work this out.
Excuse me.
If you insist.
Great.
Thank you.
Bringing up Lucas, low blow.
- You drew first blood.
- If you can't That's the difference between you and me.
This isn't a game to me.
I actually like this girl.
I think she's nice, and funny and smart.
- You'd take her home to prove a point.
- Excuse me? Well, if I'm allowed to use the name, I think you're still in love with Violet.
Well, you know what I think? I think you're projecting.
You're the shrink.
But I think maybe it's you who's still hung up on her.
I am a shrink, and clinically speaking, we would call what you just said an evasion.
In layman's terms, you're a liar.
You love her.
And when she comes around, you'll regret this.
The shunt's almost in.
Just a few more minutes.
This is our wedding night, and I've ruined it for you.
Don't say that.
If this doesn't work, we'll never be able to do it.
It's not your fault.
I just wanted you to think that I was some kind of rock star in bed.
I wanted you to think I was worth waiting for.
There's something I need to tell you.
- Now is not the time.
- Now is definitely not the time.
I'm pregnant.
Wha? But we had a pledge.
We agreed Wait, you did it with someone else? I have a sharp instrument inside you.
If you ever wanna use it again, I suggest stop squirming.
- How could you? - She made a mistake.
- This marriage is over.
- Brendon, we can talk about this Everyone, get out now.
All right, okay.
Let's go.
Hey.
So I, uh, sewed the tube in.
- Uh, he's exhausted, but stable.
- Okay.
How's the labor? It's progressing quickly.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Don't fall, or get hurt, or do anything that might cause you to die in this canyon.
- You have to come back.
- Okay, all right.
- Okay, be careful.
- I will be careful.
I feel something.
Oh, my God, I feel something.
What is it? It's nothing.
Tell me.
Just tell me.
It's bad enough without you not saying things.
The baby's foot, it's come out through the cervix.
His foot? Damn it, no, I can't I can't deliver him like this.
He'll die.
He's not fully engaged, so I need to push him back up through the birth canal, and try to invert him from the inside.
- What, are you kidding me? - It's bad, but you can do this, Kara, okay? Just take a deep breath.
I'm gonna be right here with you, all right? We're both just We're both just gonna breathe.
Take a deep breath.
Okay, ready? No, no, no! No, I can't, I can't.
Stop.
Stop.
- Stop.
- Kara? Kara, don't give up on me.
- I need you to try.
- No, no, no.
You can do it, baby.
- No.
- You can do it.
- No, I can't.
No.
Yes, you can.
You're the most stubborn woman I know.
It's not too hard for you.
- We can do this.
- No, I don't want to, please.
Kara, listen to me.
You know how most times you're the one who's always in charge of us, right? You decide where we eat.
What color the baby's room is gonna be, where we're gonna go on vacation.
And it works because I trust you and I know you want what's best for us.
Well, now it's my turn.
I'm the one who's in charge.
I'm in charge of us and I say you can do this, so you have to do this.
It's my turn, okay? I know what's best.
You have to trust me.
- Kara, you have to do this.
Unh! Okay, okay, okay.
You - Just do it.
- All right.
Let's try again, okay? You ready? Uh-huh.
Here we go.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
Come on.
Just a little bit more.
Almost.
God.
Yes.
What happened? Did she do it? We did it.
- I love you, Kara.
- Oh, I love you too.
Hey.
Melissa's in my office crying her eyes out.
She says she won't leave until she talks to Brendon.
- He doesn't wanna speak to her.
- Well You're gonna have to get him to change his mind.
I get it.
You're a meddler.
You like to meddle.
Meddling makes you happy.
But when it comes to my patients, I prefer you stayed away.
Okay, we use a team approach here, Charlotte.
That means we share advice or suggestions, or anything that might help the patient.
Brendon came here for a case of priapism.
- Look where he's at.
- Look where they're both at.
They start the day, their whole lives ahead of them, happiness within their reach.
- And it's shattered.
- And who shattered it, Violet? Who got her to open her yap? I think you're afraid.
I think you're afraid of getting to know your patients.
So you put on the tough Southern girl act because to feel what they're feeling Well, that would mean feeling something.
Is this the part where I break out the Kleenex because you think my heart's darker than Texas coal? You know, our patients come here for healing, Charlotte, so Whether that means a pill or a bandage or a needle or a conversation, it's the same.
We listen.
And when we can, we respond.
That's what we do here.
No, that's what you do here.
So, uh, are you just gonna stand there all night? Something else I should be doing? I think it's customary for the guy to make the first move.
Oh, I get it.
This is the move.
You do nothing while you wait for me to come to you.
Well, it worked, didn't it? Your, uh, friend Sheldon, he doesn't play any games.
- His approach is straight up.
- And yet here you are talking to me.
Sadly, I have a weakness for guys who make me work for it.
Maybe it's time you try dating a nice guy instead.
You do get I wanted to leave with you? Oh, hey, here you are with Pete.
Actually, she was looking for you.
You were? Really? Yeah, I thought that maybe we could grab a bite to eat.
- Get out of here.
- I'd love that.
I will grab my coat and I'll meet you at the door.
Okay.
- It looks like I got the girl this time, huh? - It looks that way.
I'll see you at work Monday.
Good news, Brendon.
Not only are you flaccid, I found no evidence of vascular or neurological damage.
I thought I married the Virgin Mary.
Turns out I married Mary Magdalene.
I know your heart feels broken clean through right now, - but if you walk, you might regret it.
- No.
Not after what she did.
I'm not warm.
And feelings are so I'm gonna just tell you this thing, because here we do that.
We tell you things and sometimes it helps you.
Oh, for the love of Anyway, here's the thing I wanna tell you.
I was married once.
I married the first man I truly loved.
Thought we had this whole fairy tale thing going on.
It was.
He was amazing.
We were amazing.
And then he did something.
Something stupid and thoughtless.
Something mean.
The kind of something I was not willing to forgive.
So I left him.
I left him behind and I went on and I live this whole other life now.
And it's good.
It's fine.
I have a great guy.
I'm a doctor.
My life is damn near perfect.
But every once in a while, I think about that guy.
And the fairy tale thing we had and I wonder if we'd still be amazing if we were together now.
And I'll never know.
Because the minute it got hard, the minute it stopped being a fairy tale, I cut and ran.
Real life is hard.
Real stuff takes work.
Real life is sometimes thoughtless and mean.
But that doesn't cancel out the love.
So if you don't love this girl, walk away.
But if you look at her and you know she's the one, you owe it to yourself to give her a second chance.
Lift your butt then push.
- No, I can't move.
The baby can't come out, Kara, until you push.
Now lift.
- You can do it, you can do it, baby.
- I can't.
Kara, look at me.
Kara, look at me.
Okay, we are both trapped in this car.
We are both scared, terrified.
All right, but you have a guy outside this car who is waiting for you.
You have a guy who loves you.
Now if you don't do what I tell you to do, you will die.
You will die on him.
Now if I die, nobody's really gonna care.
Well, they'll care, but they won't be broken.
If you die, you will break him.
Jake will be broken.
Someone loves you.
So we're not gonna sit here and debate this.
When I tell you to push, you are damn well going to push.
Right? So push.
Push.
Good.
All right.
Good, the baby's out.
The baby's out.
Uh, how is he? Is he okay? Is he okay? Oh, my No, he can't be.
You have to help him.
You have to help him.
You have to help him.
He's okay? Well, first of all, someone missed something on the ultrasound because he is a she.
And, yes Ha-ha-ha.
She's okay.
Yes, yes.
Hi.
Oh, she's so beautiful.
- And everything's - Ten fingers, ten toes.
Jake, we had a girl.
Jake, it's a girl.
Jake, your daughter is gorgeous.
Hi.
Jake? Jake? Jake.
Jake! Jake? Jake, can you hear me? Do you see him? Is he moving? Sam.
Sam.
Get the rappelling team.
Sam, we had the baby.
But Jake How's Jake? Tell me he's alive.
Tell me.
He's still alive.
EMT's almost there.
We're gonna have to move him.
All right.
Give me a backboard.
IV of normal saline.
- And O2 on a rebreather.
You got it.
Way to hang in there.
We're gonna get you out of here.
All right, you're gonna be in good hands, man.
- Well done.
Careful, careful.
I don't wanna go.
- I don't wanna.
She's behind you.
- Don't wanna go.
- She's gonna catch up with you.
- Take care of Kara.
- Yes, I got you.
- Good job, buddy.
On my count, one, two, three.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Sam.
- So they're gonna have you guys out.
- How is he? - Lost a lot of blood.
- But I think he's gonna be okay.
- And the baby? Paramedics have her on O2.
She's nice and pink.
- You guys did good.
- All right.
Door's coming off.
Stand clear.
Thank you.
I'm just so - Thank you.
- No, you don't have to.
I do and I swear, when we get out of here, I am naming that baby Addison.
That's good, that's good.
I'm bringing them in.
All right.
- Stop, stop, stop.
Hold up, hold up.
- Sam, she's crashing.
We're losing blood.
The pressure from the door must've tamponaded the wound.
She's crashing, she's crashing.
- Brendon, I know you're still angry.
- Damn right I'm angry.
I'm pissed and humiliated.
I'm so sorry.
I never wanted to see you again.
But? But I look at you and I'm not ready to walk away.
I love you.
Brendon.
Keep off it for a couple days.
- What just happened here? - Guess he didn't wanna give up on her.
Man, that was a long night.
Who's up for some food? My treat.
I'll go get my stuff.
So that was a good thing you did.
Convincing Brendon to give her another chance.
Is there any privacy in this office? Does Cooper know you were married? I wasn't.
Brendon and Melissa are back together.
They're happy.
That's all that matters, right? Why don't I believe you? - Let it go, Violet.
- Were you lying? You know, it's not actually morning, but I think I'm having pancakes.
I'm having banana pancakes.
You know what? On second thought, I think, uh I got a lot of work to finish up, so Charge the paddles.
You heard me, charge the paddles.
- Addison, it's been 20 minutes.
- No.
She's gone.
She She's gone.
Addison, Addison.
She's gone.
No.
No.
Get me out of this car.
I want out of this car.
Get me out.
- Get me out of this car.
- Okay.
Get me out of this car! Get me out.
Get me out of this car.
Is Kara? She No.
No, no.
No, my baby I have something I need to tell you.
I know it's a bit early for Scotch, but It's 5:00 somewhere.
Oh, boy.
You remember when medicine was simple? We could save peoples' lives.
People didn't die and bad things didn't happen.
Bad things always happen.
So me and you.
You never answered my question.
Do you think we would have made it? Oh, I don't know.
I don't know if we even had chemistry.
Ugh, I was just a geek going for the hot girl.
I was the hot girl? Mm-hm.
Oh, yeah, you were hot.
You weren't a geek.
You are no Naomi.
You're not Derek.