Rescue Me s03e07 Episode Script
Satisfaction
previously, on rescue me Tommy, we're stuck! You got to hurry.
OK.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.
I screwed up tonight.
I almost took me and franko out.
you're nacho.
that's right, asshole.
What the hell was that? I think that was my new boyfriend.
Jerry, I need ice.
How many times do I have to ask? relax, sweetheart.
Right after the puke.
I thought you said I was going to be a bartender.
be patient, Jerry.
The checks are being processed.
You'll be pouring before you know it.
I want us to be together forever.
I'll see what I can do about that.
the chick I've been seeing, man.
She took my little girl, man.
She took Keela.
oh, man.
You didn't tell her about the foster family? yeah.
I did.
All right? It slipped out in conversation.
How the hell was I supposed to know she'd use it against me, huh? hey.
I was thinking since you're off tonight that, um, maybe we might talk.
for what? the crying jags.
jag.
OK? It was one time.
Shit.
uhh! colleen's been in some trouble at school.
So, they want her to see a counselor.
I would really appreciate it if you went with her to the first session.
I marry her.
I get to have conjugal visits? once every 10 days for an hour at a time.
perfect.
You got any breath spray? I think what you did is what needed to be done.
will you marry me? holy shit.
Rufies and viagra.
what are rufies? it's the date rape drug.
eww! I got to work.
they couldn't get someone else to cover? they all got seniority.
you got to get out of that house.
we show up there, we totally act like we're together.
By your hands off the phone.
Johnny and Janet are cursing our souls to eternal hell.
She's watching us, right? oh, really? so kiss mm-hmm.
grope mm-hmm.
ass grab mm-hmm.
tit rub.
mm-hmm.
There's no way shirley got a hold of her.
well, who else would give a shit? hey.
hey, boys.
hey.
what's, uh, what's going on? uh, the porn police are upstairs, Chief.
oh, shit.
yeah.
4 guys from hq.
One guy supervisor and 3 guys doing the sweep.
Absolute bullshit.
typical.
The public pays 4 guys to sniff out porno.
unbelievable.
And we can't get new ropes.
That's great.
That's really great.
yeah.
Ridiculous.
flynn? hey, jer.
How's it hanging? holy shit! That's what they got you doing now? Flynn and I started back in the bronx back in the day.
Well, look at you know, huh? Just pushing the pencil.
Running all over the city.
Trying to make sure that good men like my crew here aren't rubbing one off on the city's dime, huh? I'm just doing what I'm told.
yeah, and there's a lot of honor in that.
Ain't there, flynn? You take your little clipboard, you go on downtown back to headquarters and you tell whoever it was that sent you up here that they can kiss my white Irish ass.
This is the bravest bunch of guys I've ever had the honor of serving with.
These guys are gold when it comes to saving people's lives and protecting their property, not to mention the 5 names on the plaque on that wall out there.
Guys that went into those 2 towers on that day and never came back.
So, if within the sacred confines of these 4 walls makes you want to look at something else other than that shit, that's fine with me.
They want to smoke, they want to jerk off, they want to shove potato chips up their ass, I don't give a shit, as long as they keep getting on that rig and going out the door and saving lives, I'll back 'em up.
what we got? there's no porn, sir.
No tapes.
No magazines.
damn sorry it was a wasted trip.
Now, get out of my goddamn quarters.
let's go.
make sure down at headquarters you tell them Chief Jerry riley from the 15th battalion.
let's go to the next one.
way to go, Chief.
oh, come on.
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
nicely done, Chief.
Now let me ask a question.
Did you really mean what you said about us being able to smoke and jerk off and everything? why, of course.
good.
Because there's a bag of potato chips in the kitchen with my ass' name all over it.
I don't know where that came from.
by the way, the Chief just went balls to the wall for us, guys.
This is officially the last fun firehouse in new York city.
I hope you appreciate it.
thanks, Chief.
all right, you guys.
hey, uh, so what's the deal? what are you talking about? come on.
The porno.
yeah.
I don't know what you're talking about.
you guys wouldn't be stupid enough to, uh * on another day, come on, come on, with these ropes I tied, can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, with my teeth locked down I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say? Come on, come on, was it right to leave? Come on, come on, will I ever learn? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on * - I don't even know why I'm here.
- Are you happy, colleen? I'm fine.
can you tell me why you've been acting out in an antl-social manner recently? I don't know what you mean.
well, you slapped a classmate last Thursday and you recently told your French teacher to stick the textbook up her ass.
OK.
In her defense, we've already spoken to her about the classmate thing.
She knows that that's wrong.
You can't do it.
You can't go around slapping people.
Right? So, I think we've taken care of that.
And as regards to the teacher, I mean, she is French.
Uh, she knows that's wrong, too.
We spoke about that.
So, you can't, uh you lost your little brother about 6 months ago.
Do you think that has anything to do with it? I miss him.
It makes me sad.
I used to cry a lot about it but it didn't change things.
So, I stopped.
I'm fine.
Can I go? colleen, I want to help you process whatever process these, bitch.
she gets that from her mom.
Just one second there.
Hey, give me a couple of minutes.
All right? So, you're a, uh you're a real doctor, right? excuse me? are you like, you know, do you know a lot about psychological crap or are you just like a, you know, strictly kids only type of deal? well, I specialize in young adults and children but I have a fairly good grasp on psychiatric conditions and treatments.
OK, 'cause, uh she cries a lot.
why are you whispering? I don't want her to hear me talking about her.
I don't work this way.
all right.
Give me a second.
hey, go wait in the truck, OK? I don't want to wait in the truck.
go wait I don't want to wait hey! Don't make me tell you truck.
Always with the lip.
Jesus! Teenagers.
Anyways she has these crying jags, you know.
She just starts crying completely out of the blue.
I mean, you know, it's just driving around and all of a sudden she's old enough to drive? I'm driving.
She's, uh, shotgun.
And she'll just burst into tears for no reason.
What do you think that's about? you're driving? yep.
uh-huh.
Well, it could be any number of things.
OK.
The top 3.
could be hormonal.
She's a young girl.
Body's changing.
no.
No.
Not that.
What's the number 2? she's a person who has trouble expressing her emotions.
The crying could be a very natural release she's a Gavin.
She's a female Gavin.
So, expressing her emotions is something that just happens 24/7.
so, even when she's sleeping.
So, it can't be that one.
What's the other? What's the third? could be survivor's guilt.
what's that? some people, when someone very close to them dies, they feel a tremendous and, in some cases, crippling sense of guilt.
"I should have done more to help them.
It should have been me, not them.
If I couldn't help them, then why do I deserve to live?" and if these feelings aren't addressed and if they aren't dealt with, then they could just manifest themselves in a variety of ways.
that's the one.
That's it.
That's definitely it.
That's what's wrong with her.
So, what pills do we give her now to take care of that? Mr.
Gavin, I really don't believe in medicating young adults.
oh, and neither do I.
I'm right with you on that.
I'd, you know, cut the pills in half and give her, you know, half the dosage.
OK.
Well, thanks, doc.
I appreciate it.
What? What did I tell you? Huh? God damn it.
In the truck now.
we're talking about 1,800 bucks here, guys.
yeah, maybe more.
yesterday, first thing in the door.
you know, guys, I'm truly loathe to say this 'cause the last thing I want is a filthy motherless dog or cat raping whores in here.
But I think we need to call the cops.
what's going on? somebody stole the can.
the toilet? no.
The can.
The smoking kitty.
I mean, what was in the kitty.
$1,800.
$1,850.
you're shitting me! all right, guys.
You know what? I hate to say this, but you know who maybe possibly could have taken it? The guys who were on last night.
hey! Jesus, frank.
These are our brothers.
OK? We share this house with them.
There's no way they did this.
how do you know? 'cause I already accused them.
Irish John said the can was empty when they got here.
and you know who it is? Porno squad.
oh, my God.
Yeah.
those are the only guys who had access.
They had the upstairs and downstairs all to themselves.
you know what? They couldn't get our porn, so they took our money.
exactly.
well, what do we do? I talk to the Chief and see if he can talk to his friend flynny.
cue ball.
yeah.
I saw Keela last night.
yeah? Where? out by Alicia's place.
I stopped by to drop off some toys and a bunch of clothes.
Not like she needs any of that shit now.
watch your step there.
yeah.
You should see her room, man.
You could land an airplane in that damn place.
well, lucky kid, right? yeah.
I guess so.
watch your step.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
you got it? yep.
Got it.
OK.
All right.
there it is.
put it over here.
yeah, daddy.
Nice.
hey, uh, Tommy, do you know who dave the dude is? oh, yeah.
From 68 truck.
yeah.
Got a call from him the other night yeah? said he was at some bar downtown, he saw Chief pumping boxes from front to back, you know.
Taking away the empties.
Bringing up ice.
That kind of shit.
his Chief? no.
Our Chief, Jerry.
what would he be working as a bar back for? it's a good goddamn question.
To tell you the truth, I really don't care.
I was thinking we would go down there and bust his balls a little bit tonight.
What do you say? I don't know about that, man.
I mean, if he is really working down there, it's obviously based on him needing money because of his gambling problem.
He'd be pretty embarrassed about that.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is that.
hey, did you see lebron James the other night? Jesus Christ, he was unconscious.
isn't it ridiculous? unbelievable.
the one shot he took, it was straight up hey! You guys enjoying your little sewing circle here? There's work to be done.
Go help the guys in the engine take up the line, assholes! all right.
sorry, Chief.
it's bullshit.
OK.
God.
you know what? I'll see you tonight at 9:00.
yeah? yeah.
right! I got to put the radio on the charge.
yeah? oh, Christ.
hey, Sean.
hello.
been thinking about you.
really? Yeah, I've been thinking about you, too, and the banging behind my back.
can you come and talk to me? Can you please please? What? I miss you and I realize that I made some mistakes.
yeah.
9 of them.
would you stop with the 9.
Actually, there was only 4 and one of those guys I don't even think I had his name right.
Those bums, they never meant anything to me.
Maggie, what do you want? I don't know.
I want you and me to try again.
To start over.
No other guys in the mix.
I want you to be my Jesus! If I have to actually say the words, I think I'm going to puke.
that's classy.
just a second.
I want you to be my boyfriend.
Maggie, you completely betrayed my trust, OK? How do I know that I'm not like one of these other guys? How do I know that I mean anything to you? because I know.
I didn't before.
I'll admit that.
But then you punched nacho in the face and everything changed.
yeah.
Sorry about that.
I don't know what got into me.
no, no! Don't be sorry.
Oh, my God.
It was so goddamn hot.
It took me back to when I was younger and I used to always fall for the guys who got into fights over me.
It's like this incredible aphrodisiac.
I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
but wait a second.
You want to be with me because what? I punched some guy in the face? yes! yeah.
That's crazy, Maggie! That's insane! You're nuts! That's not a basis for a relationship.
So what? You would leave me if I didn't, like, kick somebody's ass every couple of days? It's unbelievable.
You know what? I'm glad I found out about this shit before I got in too deep.
It's unbelievable.
OK.
Fine.
yeah? yeah.
I don't know if I love you or I'm an idiot but either way it's aw.
I want this to work out.
yeah? it's me.
hey! any reaction to our performance the other night? you know what? No.
Nothing from Janet.
Nothing from Johnny.
Zilch.
damn it.
I know.
well, anyway, Tommy, I wanted to tell you that I, um, had a surprisingly great time the other night.
Not just the fake stuff, but that stuff was great, too.
The kissing and everything.
I know.
I know.
You're a great kisser.
I mean, I wish, you know, we could just find a time to have a non-evil, unsecret, non-revenged base, you know, dinner or something.
You know? OK.
I would like that.
me, too.
But speaking of secrets and revenge and evil and stuff, Janet and Johnny are going to this NYPD event tomorrow night and I know I can get tickets.
We show up and, you know, put on a show.
but that could get ugly.
that's what I'm hoping.
OK.
Call me when you have the info.
OK, and you know what? Wear something that kind of shows off your rack.
have you been looking at my rack? hey! I'm a guy.
I mean, till you move around to the other side, I'm going to be, you know.
Actually, even if you moved them around to the other side, I'd probably just walk behind you a lot.
what about my ass? your ass is spectacular.
call me.
bye.
but it's a it's a blast.
hi.
hey.
any luck? no.
I've been here for about really? Hmm.
watch your back.
check it out.
excuse me.
Jesus, Jerry! I asked for lite.
that's not what you said, sweetheart.
I said lite.
This is why I don't like working with the elderly.
watch that shit, girlie.
just take this back and get me the lite sometime tonight.
hey, dude.
Who's the chick? her name's Paula.
She's sweet.
yeah? You banging her? I just met her, dude.
but you want to bang her? Don't deny it, Mike.
I'm a guy.
I know all the bullshit moves.
Listen to me, you screw around behind my back, we're through.
No! I mean it! well, what about you? What about the underwear I found under your bed? I don't wear that brand.
You don't wear that brand.
that belonged to my ex-roommate.
you told me your ex-roommate was fat, Chris.
It was size 34 waist and it was a leopard print micro bikini.
Fat guys don't wear micro bikinis.
Nobody wears those.
hey! Look! If you're going to accuse me, if you're going to be an asshole about some strange underwear you found, don't come home.
ahh, they raised the rent, you know, and trying to make a couple extra bucks.
Tried to find somebody to borrow the money from but I couldn't.
So, here I am.
yeah.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, Chief.
It's what my dad would do.
You know, you're taking care of your wife.
I wish it would help my self- esteem.
Maybe if I actually saw some cabbage, you know? what? He ain't paying you? nah.
The guy that owns this joint, birdie, every time I mention it to him, he keeps on stalling.
Whenever I want to get squared away.
I've been here a month.
Got 100 bucks in my pocket.
Jesus, Chief.
Sounds like you need to look for a new job.
yeah.
Soon as I get that money in my hand, I'm quitting this job.
Jerry, Cindy needs a case of lite and some fresh ice, huh? Chop chop.
I ain't paying you to mingle.
you're not paying me period, birdie.
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
You put 400 bucks in my hand, I'll get Cindy her ice, her beer.
I'll get her a goddamn pony.
get to work, huh? why don't you pay him what you owe him? why don't you screw off? hey.
Tommy, Tommy.
Come on.
Don't bother.
these guys friends of yours? yeah.
They work at my firehouse.
nice.
They just lost you your job.
Get your fat ass out of here.
And tough guy, if you're thinking about getting grabby, there's half a dozen gents in here who love old birdie.
Last guy tried to mix it up with me, he spends most of his time now blowing into a little tube.
Get lost.
asshole.
yeah.
come on.
Let's get out of here.
no.
We're getting you your money.
no.
Tommy, look.
I don't want any trouble here.
it's no trouble, Chief.
This guy drive a car? yeah.
It's parked out front.
nice.
Still got that friend that rents construction equipment? yeah.
I like how you're thinking.
OK.
I'm sorry.
It's just been a while since I've been with a woman.
I guess I'm a little rusty.
that's OK, Mike.
so you're cool? yeah.
Paula, listen, you know, I think you're really hot and everything.
thanks.
but I also think this could be more than just a one-night thing.
So, I got to be honest, which, you know, being a guy, it's not my usual thing.
Before anything more happens between us, I have to tell you something.
you're gay? no.
Is it that obvious? so you are gay? no.
I've been living with this guy for like a month.
the guy at the club? yeah, and he was a nice guy and he thought I was this great guy, so I moved into his place and long story short, he started blowing me.
And it freaked me out at first but, you know, again, being a guy there's no such thing as a bad blowjob.
Anyway, that's not what I'm trying to tell you.
Mike, it's OK if you had a homosexual experience.
no, I didn't.
I swear.
I never kissed him or did any of the stuff he was doing to me.
He was having the homosexual experience.
I just happened to be in the room at the time.
it's OK.
Believe me, Mike.
I've turned a lot of guys around.
I can help you.
you like that? hey, birdie.
Nice night, huh? piss off.
Where's my car? I tell you what? You give me you fat prick.
I'll give you take a look around.
You'll find it.
Pleasure working with you.
you goddamn son of a bitch.
I find one scratch on that car, I'll track you down.
You and your firefighter pussy friends.
You better tell me where it is, you prick! Oh, shit! you should have heard him screaming.
I hope he pops an artery, goddamn cheap bastard.
yeah.
Leon got a call from the cops first thing this morning, said he'd get the car down as soon as he could find the keys to the crane.
it's still there? oh, yeah.
"vengeance is mine!" sayeth the 62 truck and the lord, of course.
yeah.
Of course.
hey, Chief, you get any information from the porno squad guy about our missing cash? yeah.
He said his guys are clean.
You know, that flynn, he's a scum bag but he's not a thief.
holy, shit.
What happened to you? well, I was out with your sister last night.
damn! That was my first guess.
yeah.
Turns out she really likes it when I get into fights.
Turns her on.
So, on the way, I beat the shit out of this messenger kid on a bike.
But that wasn't enough.
So, I took on 2 guys outside of her apartment, which is where I got this and then she wanted some coffee but I was tired and, you know, hemorrhaging, so I took on some old guy and his little gay dog, which is how I got this ooh! and this.
gay dogs are the worst.
of course.
well, I'm suppose to go out with her tonight, you know, I want to make her happy but I got to figure out a way to fight some guys where I'm not going to get hurt.
just guys? yeah, just guys for now.
I mean, I'm sure I'll fight some chicks in a couple weeks but for now, just guys.
that's understood.
what about guys with one leg? or no legs.
midgets.
midgets with no legs.
ahh, they're too hard to find.
personally, I wouldn't mess with legless midgets.
I mean, they're midgets, then insult to injury, no legs.
yeah.
I mean, these guys got to be loaded for bear.
Now, I knew a midget who had no arms, no legs, half a face and only like a body went up to here.
what did they call him? they called him georgie.
Nice enough guy.
Didn't eat much.
hi, sweet stuff.
hey.
oh, I missed you.
I missed you, too.
I have a little early honeymoon present for you.
oh, yeah? yeah.
There's this guard.
He's going to slip you a cell phone.
And then I could text you and send you naked pictures and you can do the same.
how did you manage that? money changes everything, baby.
And I had my ex who was on death row for 5 years, he learned how to bend the rules a little bit.
So, any requests photo-wise? oh, you rotten, dirty, little whore.
correction I'm your dirty, little whore.
yeah, daddy.
yeah, daddy.
hey! hey! oh, my God.
You look amazing.
thank you.
ready to reek havoc? I am.
I feel it in my bones.
Did you find someone to watch the girls? yeah.
We're all set.
OK.
Wow! OK.
Here we go.
see? This is fun.
Dinner and a movie with uncle Lou.
hey, harry.
They're here.
oh, my God.
Don't look.
Don't look.
I want to see.
it's just so disgusting.
I told you.
We should have gone to the pixar movie.
oh, this is fine.
Listen, as soon as this guy stops sawing through that little girl's skull, you can watch it.
the citizens alliance would like to thank captain bernard for his tireless efforts in keeping our neighborhood safe.
You truly are among the best the NYPD has to offer.
Captain bernard.
thank you, frank.
I've been living in this neighborhood my whole life and I have been controlling the streets for over I'd like to thank my friends and my family.
let's go over here.
no, no, no, no, no.
Let's just sit down.
oh, my God.
that prick.
you're an idiot.
You know that, Tommy? I've been feeling bad.
I've been feeling guilty.
You know, getting ready to make a phone call.
Trying to reach out and make things right and you go pull a stupid, obvious stunt like this? Not in a million years are you sleeping with her.
That's got to be tough.
Huh, Tommy? Knowing I'm banging your ex.
Knowing you're never going to get mine.
ahh! God! Man, you're an asshole.
yeah.
Well, at least I'm dry.
you're pathetic.
long time, no see.
yeah.
This is a surprise.
So you know somebody here? oh, I have a bunch of cop friends back from when Johnny and I were married.
I heard about the two of you.
You've been a busy girl.
no busier than you.
oh, you mean me and Tommy? That's such a big surprise to me.
You know, he was never really my type and them I bumped into him a couple of did you actually think that I believe this bullshit? oh, why? I'm not good enough for Tommy? no.
That is not it, angie.
oh, yeah.
I think it is.
well, it's not.
Look.
We were never close and frankly, I never liked you.
really? yeah.
But then you did one thing that I could never do.
You broke free.
You got away from the neighborhood and all the petty family bullshit.
You broke away and you started a whole new life for yourself and I respected you for that so much.
But now, here you are, all dressed up dead center in a pile of shit.
Welcome home, angie.
no, no.
I already got my welcome home when I made it with your husband.
Don't worry about those frown lines, sweetie.
Just keep smiling.
No one's going to notice.
Aw, you kids have a great night.
God damn it.
well, you were right.
I mean, we could have done a little bit bigger show but after you piss on a guy, you really have no place else to go.
You know what I mean? God damn it.
you all right? What's wrong? what the hell am I doing? what do you mean? I mean, I'm just as bad as the rest of you.
you're great.
OK? I'm serious.
All right.
Listen to me.
You know there are certain moments in time that you, you always, sort of, you know, keep track of in your head and I remember it was Connor's christening.
All right? And we had that barbeque and that party in the yard and it was either Connor or katy.
I can't remember.
But anyways, you were talking to my mother and you had that blue kind of fluffy sweater on and it caught my eye and l I was watching you talking to her and I'm telling you.
It it took my breath away.
Yeah.
I'm serious.
this is incredibly stupid.
well, you're in luck because incredibly stupid is one of my best things.
you girls aren't eating.
this food is hideous.
I thought you were going to take us somewhere nice.
what are you talking about? This place has got the best steam table in the city.
This cabbage.
I mean, you don't find cabbage like that anywhere else.
That's a culinary masterpiece right there.
We'll just get that off.
can't we go home? what's your rush? it's 10:30.
I still have some homework to do.
all right.
Let me just finish my beer, OK? They don't grow on trees.
Oh, I wish they did.
How are you girls on cash? Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.
Tommy.
I always knew you'd be good at that and I was right.
oh, yeah.
So, anyway, better than he whose name we dare not speak? Johnny! Let's not go there.
You guys have enough problems.
You're still hard? I am a little.
that's a little? well, a lot.
oh, did you take something? no.
It's just you.
It's all natural.
yeah? mm-hmm.
you want to go again? yeah.
OK.
But is this honest to God years of sexual tension I can't wait to get my hands on angie's body.
that day is finally here hard-on or secret evil revenge on my brother and his ex-wife one? um hmm? ooh.
It can be both.
It can be both.
OK.
It's probably 80% honest and 20% evil.
go honest.
Go evil.
she's not his type.
Shit.
That slut wasn't even my type.
You were but, you know, then chuckles went ahead and got you to marry him and I had to settle for second best, you know.
I mean, come on besides which, why do you care? I don't know.
I just do.
look, you know what? Forget about her.
Forget about the whole thing.
Right now, all that matters is us.
Huh? All right? all right.
Us.
You and me.
oh, that's so officially the longest lasting hard-on in the history of hard-ons there.
yeah.
Actually, I had one when I was 14 and it pretty much lasted all the way through freshman year.
So OK.
That's interesting, but I just I have to scoot.
Do you want me to no.
That's it will probably go away by the time I drop you off.
So give me a couple of secs here.
oh, are you all right? yep.
Good.
Hey! Quarter.
Uhh! Be right with you.
here.
oh, great.
tell ellie I said thank you for the bottle of miltons.
It's very nice.
It already went off once.
oh! Left tit.
it's nice.
You know why she's marrying you, right? because I'm a big, strong, attractive, almost thin guy who's not afraid to express himself justice-wise? no.
Because you're trapped in here and she knows you're not going to cheat on her unless you're some kind of a fag or something or, you know, some wimpy guy who's going to get bum-rushed by another lifer.
No.
She knows where you are all the time.
You're like her little dog that she keeps in a cage.
right tit.
very nice.
Look, enjoy the ride.
OK? I'm just saying that any guy that I ever knew that got married in the joint, everything went great when they were in here.
As soon as they got on the outside, it was a horror show.
"where are you going? What time will you be home?" yeah, well, I don't have to worry about that.
I killed a guy, for Christ sakes.
Shot him dead right in front of station.
I'm golden.
Wow! money shot? get out of here.
This one's private, you pervert.
OK.
Whatever you say there, oj.
whoa, whoa.
What do you mean by that? well, you could be guilty.
No guarantee you're going to stay behind bars.
what? we got 300 mothers against drunk drivers standing, protesting in front of the prison entrance holding up placards with your name on 'em.
News vans are all out there, too, saying that you're the next coming of charles bronson.
shit.
God damn it! And just when things were going so good.
Wait, wait, wait.
She wants me to take a picture of my cock.
Can you give me a few minutes alone in the shitter? OK, but you tell her next time, I want some cubans to boot.
done.
asshole, what's wrong with you? All the times you went to the beach and she was wearing a bikini.
I come home and you go off in like 5 seconds and you do this to me? Son of a bitch.
Tommy? yeah? who are you talking to? just thinking out loud, you know.
are you OK? yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
OK.
'cause I really want to go.
OK.
you've been awfully quiet, Sean.
really? Wow! I thought I talked a lot.
no.
I'm not talking about talking.
I mean on the getting me all excited front.
oh.
Yeah.
Listen, I wanted to talk to you about that.
How about we go back to your apartment and I, like, get you excited in another way, you know? In a way that doesn't involve me getting punched in the kidneys.
huh! excuse me.
how's that sound? did you hear that? what? that guy just called me a whore.
no.
I missed that.
no.
You just called me a whore, didn't you, asshole? excuse me? oh, it was me.
I called her a whore.
I sometimes, I just do that.
It's not you got a problem, asshole? God! With you? Come on.
No.
What? Are you crazy? This guy maybe.
no.
Definitely him.
Not him.
yeah.
You're wrong.
I think it was this guy.
Did you just call my lady friend a whore? get away from me.
you know what? I think you did.
What are you? A tough guy? Oh! Jesus Christ! Oh! who's the tough guy now? Jesus, Sean.
my eyes! Sean, you need to get up.
This is so embarrassing.
You think you'd never been sprayed in the eyes with mace before.
my eyes! Jesus Christ, man.
You see this shit? what is it? it's a letter from the new York chapter of the American cancer society.
oh, Jesus! "dear Chief ronald perolli, the new York chapter of the American cancer society wishes to thank you most graciously" ow! Son of a bitch! "accepts your generous donation of $1,850.
you and your crew will be pleased to know" blah blah blah.
see.
No smoking kitty.
I told you it was 1,850.
yeah.
Perolli stole the money and donated it to the cancer people.
this sucks.
Totally sucks.
Jesus Christ, man.
You OK? What is this? A ray charles tribute? ah! God damn it.
you good? yeah.
I'm good.
yeah, yeah.
You're real good.
You need to go home, man, and get a seeing-eye dog.
I know.
It's just my eyes are killing me.
It's unbelievable.
Jesus Christ, Garrity, what the hell's the matter with you? I can't see.
look! Perolli took the money and donated it to the goddamn cancer people.
the people for it or against it? I only ask 'cause he's such a prick, it could go either way.
yeah, and like that specific amount was going to get them over the hump to finding a cure.
well, easy come, easy go, guys.
ow! I'm OK.
I'm going to go take care of stevie wonder over here.
All right? yeah.
Please do.
hey, frank.
I say we go back and get our money.
you think, Mike? hey, it's not like they can stop us.
They all got cancer.
ow! hi! hey! how was your day? it was good.
What's going on? we got pot roast, and your favorite, sauteed peppers, and creamy mashed potatoes.
It's going to be ready in about 5 minutes.
yeah? Uh, why? 'cause I felt like it.
uh-huh.
Where's my old man? oh, I sent him off with Lou.
They went to uncle red's place.
And I told them not to come back until after 11:00 so we can eat in peace and enjoy and get reacquainted.
How's angie? Johnny's angie? mm-hmm.
I don't know.
Why? How would I know? I will dump this on the floor, put the pot roast in the toilet, and piss in this saucepan in exactly 5 seconds.
I ran into her last week.
I was going to a union thing.
A surprise union speed it up.
and I was on the east side and just ran into her.
Bumped into her.
You know, blah blah blah.
What's going on with you? Bing bang boom, you know.
Why? oh! That's it? You guys just happened to bump into each other on the street? that happens! People bump into each other.
OK.
Dinner's almost ready.
So, why don't you just go wash up.
I will make you a cranberry and seltzer.
Go on.
Pfft.
Pfft.
this is for you.
It's your favorite.
thanks.
Ahh! I mean, I understand the need for revenge.
I understand envy and petty jealousy but why would she want to hurt me? I mean, all I've ever done is try to be a really good friend to her.
It's really sad.
I got to tell you, you know, she lives in Manhattan and she's got this big fancy job and this fabulous apartment.
Hmm.
grr! Aah! Ahh! Why can't it just always be like this? It's all I want.
Oh, God, Jimmy was just the love of my life.
When I was 12, that's when I met the two of you.
I was 12.
I just knew that he was the one.
He was so beautiful and I got him.
It took me till sophomore year but I got him.
oh, God damn it, I miss him so much.
I just want Jimmy.
I want Jimmy.
I want Jimmy back.
I want Jimmy back! Oh! I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Ohh.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shit! t? Tommy? T? You all right? What the hell happened? ahh.
Holy shit! yeah, yeah.
Look familiar? I hate to say it but, young man, you're grounded for a week.
Oh! Nice cock.
All right.
2 weeks.
listen, don't beat yourself up, all right? It happens to a lot of people in the program.
You know, you're doing good.
You're on the straight and narrow.
You're making vast improvements.
You know, vast for you meaning you're only thinking about drinking 23 out of 24 hours a day.
And then, you know, what happens, though? Bottle comes along like an old friend.
You thought it was dead.
It turns out it's alive.
It turns out to be a goddamn pretty pleasurable reunion.
I know, but I'm telling you I don't remember a single thing about that night.
Not a thing.
that's tough.
I mean, the only good thing about falling off the wagon is the beautiful memories that you have to tide you over until the next time.
Tom, you made a mistake.
You know, it's going to be OK.
Let's grab a seat.
OK.
Let me ask you something.
Did you ever hear about survivor's guilt? yeah.
Sure.
'cause somebody mentioned it to me and it was the first time I felt like, yeah, maybe this is what's going on.
Maybe that's what making me, you know, drink.
no.
No.
no? booze is your problem.
Survivor's guilt.
That shit's easy to get over.
oh.
die.
OK.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.
I screwed up tonight.
I almost took me and franko out.
you're nacho.
that's right, asshole.
What the hell was that? I think that was my new boyfriend.
Jerry, I need ice.
How many times do I have to ask? relax, sweetheart.
Right after the puke.
I thought you said I was going to be a bartender.
be patient, Jerry.
The checks are being processed.
You'll be pouring before you know it.
I want us to be together forever.
I'll see what I can do about that.
the chick I've been seeing, man.
She took my little girl, man.
She took Keela.
oh, man.
You didn't tell her about the foster family? yeah.
I did.
All right? It slipped out in conversation.
How the hell was I supposed to know she'd use it against me, huh? hey.
I was thinking since you're off tonight that, um, maybe we might talk.
for what? the crying jags.
jag.
OK? It was one time.
Shit.
uhh! colleen's been in some trouble at school.
So, they want her to see a counselor.
I would really appreciate it if you went with her to the first session.
I marry her.
I get to have conjugal visits? once every 10 days for an hour at a time.
perfect.
You got any breath spray? I think what you did is what needed to be done.
will you marry me? holy shit.
Rufies and viagra.
what are rufies? it's the date rape drug.
eww! I got to work.
they couldn't get someone else to cover? they all got seniority.
you got to get out of that house.
we show up there, we totally act like we're together.
By your hands off the phone.
Johnny and Janet are cursing our souls to eternal hell.
She's watching us, right? oh, really? so kiss mm-hmm.
grope mm-hmm.
ass grab mm-hmm.
tit rub.
mm-hmm.
There's no way shirley got a hold of her.
well, who else would give a shit? hey.
hey, boys.
hey.
what's, uh, what's going on? uh, the porn police are upstairs, Chief.
oh, shit.
yeah.
4 guys from hq.
One guy supervisor and 3 guys doing the sweep.
Absolute bullshit.
typical.
The public pays 4 guys to sniff out porno.
unbelievable.
And we can't get new ropes.
That's great.
That's really great.
yeah.
Ridiculous.
flynn? hey, jer.
How's it hanging? holy shit! That's what they got you doing now? Flynn and I started back in the bronx back in the day.
Well, look at you know, huh? Just pushing the pencil.
Running all over the city.
Trying to make sure that good men like my crew here aren't rubbing one off on the city's dime, huh? I'm just doing what I'm told.
yeah, and there's a lot of honor in that.
Ain't there, flynn? You take your little clipboard, you go on downtown back to headquarters and you tell whoever it was that sent you up here that they can kiss my white Irish ass.
This is the bravest bunch of guys I've ever had the honor of serving with.
These guys are gold when it comes to saving people's lives and protecting their property, not to mention the 5 names on the plaque on that wall out there.
Guys that went into those 2 towers on that day and never came back.
So, if within the sacred confines of these 4 walls makes you want to look at something else other than that shit, that's fine with me.
They want to smoke, they want to jerk off, they want to shove potato chips up their ass, I don't give a shit, as long as they keep getting on that rig and going out the door and saving lives, I'll back 'em up.
what we got? there's no porn, sir.
No tapes.
No magazines.
damn sorry it was a wasted trip.
Now, get out of my goddamn quarters.
let's go.
make sure down at headquarters you tell them Chief Jerry riley from the 15th battalion.
let's go to the next one.
way to go, Chief.
oh, come on.
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
nicely done, Chief.
Now let me ask a question.
Did you really mean what you said about us being able to smoke and jerk off and everything? why, of course.
good.
Because there's a bag of potato chips in the kitchen with my ass' name all over it.
I don't know where that came from.
by the way, the Chief just went balls to the wall for us, guys.
This is officially the last fun firehouse in new York city.
I hope you appreciate it.
thanks, Chief.
all right, you guys.
hey, uh, so what's the deal? what are you talking about? come on.
The porno.
yeah.
I don't know what you're talking about.
you guys wouldn't be stupid enough to, uh * on another day, come on, come on, with these ropes I tied, can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, with my teeth locked down I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say? Come on, come on, was it right to leave? Come on, come on, will I ever learn? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on * - I don't even know why I'm here.
- Are you happy, colleen? I'm fine.
can you tell me why you've been acting out in an antl-social manner recently? I don't know what you mean.
well, you slapped a classmate last Thursday and you recently told your French teacher to stick the textbook up her ass.
OK.
In her defense, we've already spoken to her about the classmate thing.
She knows that that's wrong.
You can't do it.
You can't go around slapping people.
Right? So, I think we've taken care of that.
And as regards to the teacher, I mean, she is French.
Uh, she knows that's wrong, too.
We spoke about that.
So, you can't, uh you lost your little brother about 6 months ago.
Do you think that has anything to do with it? I miss him.
It makes me sad.
I used to cry a lot about it but it didn't change things.
So, I stopped.
I'm fine.
Can I go? colleen, I want to help you process whatever process these, bitch.
she gets that from her mom.
Just one second there.
Hey, give me a couple of minutes.
All right? So, you're a, uh you're a real doctor, right? excuse me? are you like, you know, do you know a lot about psychological crap or are you just like a, you know, strictly kids only type of deal? well, I specialize in young adults and children but I have a fairly good grasp on psychiatric conditions and treatments.
OK, 'cause, uh she cries a lot.
why are you whispering? I don't want her to hear me talking about her.
I don't work this way.
all right.
Give me a second.
hey, go wait in the truck, OK? I don't want to wait in the truck.
go wait I don't want to wait hey! Don't make me tell you truck.
Always with the lip.
Jesus! Teenagers.
Anyways she has these crying jags, you know.
She just starts crying completely out of the blue.
I mean, you know, it's just driving around and all of a sudden she's old enough to drive? I'm driving.
She's, uh, shotgun.
And she'll just burst into tears for no reason.
What do you think that's about? you're driving? yep.
uh-huh.
Well, it could be any number of things.
OK.
The top 3.
could be hormonal.
She's a young girl.
Body's changing.
no.
No.
Not that.
What's the number 2? she's a person who has trouble expressing her emotions.
The crying could be a very natural release she's a Gavin.
She's a female Gavin.
So, expressing her emotions is something that just happens 24/7.
so, even when she's sleeping.
So, it can't be that one.
What's the other? What's the third? could be survivor's guilt.
what's that? some people, when someone very close to them dies, they feel a tremendous and, in some cases, crippling sense of guilt.
"I should have done more to help them.
It should have been me, not them.
If I couldn't help them, then why do I deserve to live?" and if these feelings aren't addressed and if they aren't dealt with, then they could just manifest themselves in a variety of ways.
that's the one.
That's it.
That's definitely it.
That's what's wrong with her.
So, what pills do we give her now to take care of that? Mr.
Gavin, I really don't believe in medicating young adults.
oh, and neither do I.
I'm right with you on that.
I'd, you know, cut the pills in half and give her, you know, half the dosage.
OK.
Well, thanks, doc.
I appreciate it.
What? What did I tell you? Huh? God damn it.
In the truck now.
we're talking about 1,800 bucks here, guys.
yeah, maybe more.
yesterday, first thing in the door.
you know, guys, I'm truly loathe to say this 'cause the last thing I want is a filthy motherless dog or cat raping whores in here.
But I think we need to call the cops.
what's going on? somebody stole the can.
the toilet? no.
The can.
The smoking kitty.
I mean, what was in the kitty.
$1,800.
$1,850.
you're shitting me! all right, guys.
You know what? I hate to say this, but you know who maybe possibly could have taken it? The guys who were on last night.
hey! Jesus, frank.
These are our brothers.
OK? We share this house with them.
There's no way they did this.
how do you know? 'cause I already accused them.
Irish John said the can was empty when they got here.
and you know who it is? Porno squad.
oh, my God.
Yeah.
those are the only guys who had access.
They had the upstairs and downstairs all to themselves.
you know what? They couldn't get our porn, so they took our money.
exactly.
well, what do we do? I talk to the Chief and see if he can talk to his friend flynny.
cue ball.
yeah.
I saw Keela last night.
yeah? Where? out by Alicia's place.
I stopped by to drop off some toys and a bunch of clothes.
Not like she needs any of that shit now.
watch your step there.
yeah.
You should see her room, man.
You could land an airplane in that damn place.
well, lucky kid, right? yeah.
I guess so.
watch your step.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
you got it? yep.
Got it.
OK.
All right.
there it is.
put it over here.
yeah, daddy.
Nice.
hey, uh, Tommy, do you know who dave the dude is? oh, yeah.
From 68 truck.
yeah.
Got a call from him the other night yeah? said he was at some bar downtown, he saw Chief pumping boxes from front to back, you know.
Taking away the empties.
Bringing up ice.
That kind of shit.
his Chief? no.
Our Chief, Jerry.
what would he be working as a bar back for? it's a good goddamn question.
To tell you the truth, I really don't care.
I was thinking we would go down there and bust his balls a little bit tonight.
What do you say? I don't know about that, man.
I mean, if he is really working down there, it's obviously based on him needing money because of his gambling problem.
He'd be pretty embarrassed about that.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is that.
hey, did you see lebron James the other night? Jesus Christ, he was unconscious.
isn't it ridiculous? unbelievable.
the one shot he took, it was straight up hey! You guys enjoying your little sewing circle here? There's work to be done.
Go help the guys in the engine take up the line, assholes! all right.
sorry, Chief.
it's bullshit.
OK.
God.
you know what? I'll see you tonight at 9:00.
yeah? yeah.
right! I got to put the radio on the charge.
yeah? oh, Christ.
hey, Sean.
hello.
been thinking about you.
really? Yeah, I've been thinking about you, too, and the banging behind my back.
can you come and talk to me? Can you please please? What? I miss you and I realize that I made some mistakes.
yeah.
9 of them.
would you stop with the 9.
Actually, there was only 4 and one of those guys I don't even think I had his name right.
Those bums, they never meant anything to me.
Maggie, what do you want? I don't know.
I want you and me to try again.
To start over.
No other guys in the mix.
I want you to be my Jesus! If I have to actually say the words, I think I'm going to puke.
that's classy.
just a second.
I want you to be my boyfriend.
Maggie, you completely betrayed my trust, OK? How do I know that I'm not like one of these other guys? How do I know that I mean anything to you? because I know.
I didn't before.
I'll admit that.
But then you punched nacho in the face and everything changed.
yeah.
Sorry about that.
I don't know what got into me.
no, no! Don't be sorry.
Oh, my God.
It was so goddamn hot.
It took me back to when I was younger and I used to always fall for the guys who got into fights over me.
It's like this incredible aphrodisiac.
I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
but wait a second.
You want to be with me because what? I punched some guy in the face? yes! yeah.
That's crazy, Maggie! That's insane! You're nuts! That's not a basis for a relationship.
So what? You would leave me if I didn't, like, kick somebody's ass every couple of days? It's unbelievable.
You know what? I'm glad I found out about this shit before I got in too deep.
It's unbelievable.
OK.
Fine.
yeah? yeah.
I don't know if I love you or I'm an idiot but either way it's aw.
I want this to work out.
yeah? it's me.
hey! any reaction to our performance the other night? you know what? No.
Nothing from Janet.
Nothing from Johnny.
Zilch.
damn it.
I know.
well, anyway, Tommy, I wanted to tell you that I, um, had a surprisingly great time the other night.
Not just the fake stuff, but that stuff was great, too.
The kissing and everything.
I know.
I know.
You're a great kisser.
I mean, I wish, you know, we could just find a time to have a non-evil, unsecret, non-revenged base, you know, dinner or something.
You know? OK.
I would like that.
me, too.
But speaking of secrets and revenge and evil and stuff, Janet and Johnny are going to this NYPD event tomorrow night and I know I can get tickets.
We show up and, you know, put on a show.
but that could get ugly.
that's what I'm hoping.
OK.
Call me when you have the info.
OK, and you know what? Wear something that kind of shows off your rack.
have you been looking at my rack? hey! I'm a guy.
I mean, till you move around to the other side, I'm going to be, you know.
Actually, even if you moved them around to the other side, I'd probably just walk behind you a lot.
what about my ass? your ass is spectacular.
call me.
bye.
but it's a it's a blast.
hi.
hey.
any luck? no.
I've been here for about really? Hmm.
watch your back.
check it out.
excuse me.
Jesus, Jerry! I asked for lite.
that's not what you said, sweetheart.
I said lite.
This is why I don't like working with the elderly.
watch that shit, girlie.
just take this back and get me the lite sometime tonight.
hey, dude.
Who's the chick? her name's Paula.
She's sweet.
yeah? You banging her? I just met her, dude.
but you want to bang her? Don't deny it, Mike.
I'm a guy.
I know all the bullshit moves.
Listen to me, you screw around behind my back, we're through.
No! I mean it! well, what about you? What about the underwear I found under your bed? I don't wear that brand.
You don't wear that brand.
that belonged to my ex-roommate.
you told me your ex-roommate was fat, Chris.
It was size 34 waist and it was a leopard print micro bikini.
Fat guys don't wear micro bikinis.
Nobody wears those.
hey! Look! If you're going to accuse me, if you're going to be an asshole about some strange underwear you found, don't come home.
ahh, they raised the rent, you know, and trying to make a couple extra bucks.
Tried to find somebody to borrow the money from but I couldn't.
So, here I am.
yeah.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, Chief.
It's what my dad would do.
You know, you're taking care of your wife.
I wish it would help my self- esteem.
Maybe if I actually saw some cabbage, you know? what? He ain't paying you? nah.
The guy that owns this joint, birdie, every time I mention it to him, he keeps on stalling.
Whenever I want to get squared away.
I've been here a month.
Got 100 bucks in my pocket.
Jesus, Chief.
Sounds like you need to look for a new job.
yeah.
Soon as I get that money in my hand, I'm quitting this job.
Jerry, Cindy needs a case of lite and some fresh ice, huh? Chop chop.
I ain't paying you to mingle.
you're not paying me period, birdie.
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
You put 400 bucks in my hand, I'll get Cindy her ice, her beer.
I'll get her a goddamn pony.
get to work, huh? why don't you pay him what you owe him? why don't you screw off? hey.
Tommy, Tommy.
Come on.
Don't bother.
these guys friends of yours? yeah.
They work at my firehouse.
nice.
They just lost you your job.
Get your fat ass out of here.
And tough guy, if you're thinking about getting grabby, there's half a dozen gents in here who love old birdie.
Last guy tried to mix it up with me, he spends most of his time now blowing into a little tube.
Get lost.
asshole.
yeah.
come on.
Let's get out of here.
no.
We're getting you your money.
no.
Tommy, look.
I don't want any trouble here.
it's no trouble, Chief.
This guy drive a car? yeah.
It's parked out front.
nice.
Still got that friend that rents construction equipment? yeah.
I like how you're thinking.
OK.
I'm sorry.
It's just been a while since I've been with a woman.
I guess I'm a little rusty.
that's OK, Mike.
so you're cool? yeah.
Paula, listen, you know, I think you're really hot and everything.
thanks.
but I also think this could be more than just a one-night thing.
So, I got to be honest, which, you know, being a guy, it's not my usual thing.
Before anything more happens between us, I have to tell you something.
you're gay? no.
Is it that obvious? so you are gay? no.
I've been living with this guy for like a month.
the guy at the club? yeah, and he was a nice guy and he thought I was this great guy, so I moved into his place and long story short, he started blowing me.
And it freaked me out at first but, you know, again, being a guy there's no such thing as a bad blowjob.
Anyway, that's not what I'm trying to tell you.
Mike, it's OK if you had a homosexual experience.
no, I didn't.
I swear.
I never kissed him or did any of the stuff he was doing to me.
He was having the homosexual experience.
I just happened to be in the room at the time.
it's OK.
Believe me, Mike.
I've turned a lot of guys around.
I can help you.
you like that? hey, birdie.
Nice night, huh? piss off.
Where's my car? I tell you what? You give me you fat prick.
I'll give you take a look around.
You'll find it.
Pleasure working with you.
you goddamn son of a bitch.
I find one scratch on that car, I'll track you down.
You and your firefighter pussy friends.
You better tell me where it is, you prick! Oh, shit! you should have heard him screaming.
I hope he pops an artery, goddamn cheap bastard.
yeah.
Leon got a call from the cops first thing this morning, said he'd get the car down as soon as he could find the keys to the crane.
it's still there? oh, yeah.
"vengeance is mine!" sayeth the 62 truck and the lord, of course.
yeah.
Of course.
hey, Chief, you get any information from the porno squad guy about our missing cash? yeah.
He said his guys are clean.
You know, that flynn, he's a scum bag but he's not a thief.
holy, shit.
What happened to you? well, I was out with your sister last night.
damn! That was my first guess.
yeah.
Turns out she really likes it when I get into fights.
Turns her on.
So, on the way, I beat the shit out of this messenger kid on a bike.
But that wasn't enough.
So, I took on 2 guys outside of her apartment, which is where I got this and then she wanted some coffee but I was tired and, you know, hemorrhaging, so I took on some old guy and his little gay dog, which is how I got this ooh! and this.
gay dogs are the worst.
of course.
well, I'm suppose to go out with her tonight, you know, I want to make her happy but I got to figure out a way to fight some guys where I'm not going to get hurt.
just guys? yeah, just guys for now.
I mean, I'm sure I'll fight some chicks in a couple weeks but for now, just guys.
that's understood.
what about guys with one leg? or no legs.
midgets.
midgets with no legs.
ahh, they're too hard to find.
personally, I wouldn't mess with legless midgets.
I mean, they're midgets, then insult to injury, no legs.
yeah.
I mean, these guys got to be loaded for bear.
Now, I knew a midget who had no arms, no legs, half a face and only like a body went up to here.
what did they call him? they called him georgie.
Nice enough guy.
Didn't eat much.
hi, sweet stuff.
hey.
oh, I missed you.
I missed you, too.
I have a little early honeymoon present for you.
oh, yeah? yeah.
There's this guard.
He's going to slip you a cell phone.
And then I could text you and send you naked pictures and you can do the same.
how did you manage that? money changes everything, baby.
And I had my ex who was on death row for 5 years, he learned how to bend the rules a little bit.
So, any requests photo-wise? oh, you rotten, dirty, little whore.
correction I'm your dirty, little whore.
yeah, daddy.
yeah, daddy.
hey! hey! oh, my God.
You look amazing.
thank you.
ready to reek havoc? I am.
I feel it in my bones.
Did you find someone to watch the girls? yeah.
We're all set.
OK.
Wow! OK.
Here we go.
see? This is fun.
Dinner and a movie with uncle Lou.
hey, harry.
They're here.
oh, my God.
Don't look.
Don't look.
I want to see.
it's just so disgusting.
I told you.
We should have gone to the pixar movie.
oh, this is fine.
Listen, as soon as this guy stops sawing through that little girl's skull, you can watch it.
the citizens alliance would like to thank captain bernard for his tireless efforts in keeping our neighborhood safe.
You truly are among the best the NYPD has to offer.
Captain bernard.
thank you, frank.
I've been living in this neighborhood my whole life and I have been controlling the streets for over I'd like to thank my friends and my family.
let's go over here.
no, no, no, no, no.
Let's just sit down.
oh, my God.
that prick.
you're an idiot.
You know that, Tommy? I've been feeling bad.
I've been feeling guilty.
You know, getting ready to make a phone call.
Trying to reach out and make things right and you go pull a stupid, obvious stunt like this? Not in a million years are you sleeping with her.
That's got to be tough.
Huh, Tommy? Knowing I'm banging your ex.
Knowing you're never going to get mine.
ahh! God! Man, you're an asshole.
yeah.
Well, at least I'm dry.
you're pathetic.
long time, no see.
yeah.
This is a surprise.
So you know somebody here? oh, I have a bunch of cop friends back from when Johnny and I were married.
I heard about the two of you.
You've been a busy girl.
no busier than you.
oh, you mean me and Tommy? That's such a big surprise to me.
You know, he was never really my type and them I bumped into him a couple of did you actually think that I believe this bullshit? oh, why? I'm not good enough for Tommy? no.
That is not it, angie.
oh, yeah.
I think it is.
well, it's not.
Look.
We were never close and frankly, I never liked you.
really? yeah.
But then you did one thing that I could never do.
You broke free.
You got away from the neighborhood and all the petty family bullshit.
You broke away and you started a whole new life for yourself and I respected you for that so much.
But now, here you are, all dressed up dead center in a pile of shit.
Welcome home, angie.
no, no.
I already got my welcome home when I made it with your husband.
Don't worry about those frown lines, sweetie.
Just keep smiling.
No one's going to notice.
Aw, you kids have a great night.
God damn it.
well, you were right.
I mean, we could have done a little bit bigger show but after you piss on a guy, you really have no place else to go.
You know what I mean? God damn it.
you all right? What's wrong? what the hell am I doing? what do you mean? I mean, I'm just as bad as the rest of you.
you're great.
OK? I'm serious.
All right.
Listen to me.
You know there are certain moments in time that you, you always, sort of, you know, keep track of in your head and I remember it was Connor's christening.
All right? And we had that barbeque and that party in the yard and it was either Connor or katy.
I can't remember.
But anyways, you were talking to my mother and you had that blue kind of fluffy sweater on and it caught my eye and l I was watching you talking to her and I'm telling you.
It it took my breath away.
Yeah.
I'm serious.
this is incredibly stupid.
well, you're in luck because incredibly stupid is one of my best things.
you girls aren't eating.
this food is hideous.
I thought you were going to take us somewhere nice.
what are you talking about? This place has got the best steam table in the city.
This cabbage.
I mean, you don't find cabbage like that anywhere else.
That's a culinary masterpiece right there.
We'll just get that off.
can't we go home? what's your rush? it's 10:30.
I still have some homework to do.
all right.
Let me just finish my beer, OK? They don't grow on trees.
Oh, I wish they did.
How are you girls on cash? Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.
Tommy.
I always knew you'd be good at that and I was right.
oh, yeah.
So, anyway, better than he whose name we dare not speak? Johnny! Let's not go there.
You guys have enough problems.
You're still hard? I am a little.
that's a little? well, a lot.
oh, did you take something? no.
It's just you.
It's all natural.
yeah? mm-hmm.
you want to go again? yeah.
OK.
But is this honest to God years of sexual tension I can't wait to get my hands on angie's body.
that day is finally here hard-on or secret evil revenge on my brother and his ex-wife one? um hmm? ooh.
It can be both.
It can be both.
OK.
It's probably 80% honest and 20% evil.
go honest.
Go evil.
she's not his type.
Shit.
That slut wasn't even my type.
You were but, you know, then chuckles went ahead and got you to marry him and I had to settle for second best, you know.
I mean, come on besides which, why do you care? I don't know.
I just do.
look, you know what? Forget about her.
Forget about the whole thing.
Right now, all that matters is us.
Huh? All right? all right.
Us.
You and me.
oh, that's so officially the longest lasting hard-on in the history of hard-ons there.
yeah.
Actually, I had one when I was 14 and it pretty much lasted all the way through freshman year.
So OK.
That's interesting, but I just I have to scoot.
Do you want me to no.
That's it will probably go away by the time I drop you off.
So give me a couple of secs here.
oh, are you all right? yep.
Good.
Hey! Quarter.
Uhh! Be right with you.
here.
oh, great.
tell ellie I said thank you for the bottle of miltons.
It's very nice.
It already went off once.
oh! Left tit.
it's nice.
You know why she's marrying you, right? because I'm a big, strong, attractive, almost thin guy who's not afraid to express himself justice-wise? no.
Because you're trapped in here and she knows you're not going to cheat on her unless you're some kind of a fag or something or, you know, some wimpy guy who's going to get bum-rushed by another lifer.
No.
She knows where you are all the time.
You're like her little dog that she keeps in a cage.
right tit.
very nice.
Look, enjoy the ride.
OK? I'm just saying that any guy that I ever knew that got married in the joint, everything went great when they were in here.
As soon as they got on the outside, it was a horror show.
"where are you going? What time will you be home?" yeah, well, I don't have to worry about that.
I killed a guy, for Christ sakes.
Shot him dead right in front of station.
I'm golden.
Wow! money shot? get out of here.
This one's private, you pervert.
OK.
Whatever you say there, oj.
whoa, whoa.
What do you mean by that? well, you could be guilty.
No guarantee you're going to stay behind bars.
what? we got 300 mothers against drunk drivers standing, protesting in front of the prison entrance holding up placards with your name on 'em.
News vans are all out there, too, saying that you're the next coming of charles bronson.
shit.
God damn it! And just when things were going so good.
Wait, wait, wait.
She wants me to take a picture of my cock.
Can you give me a few minutes alone in the shitter? OK, but you tell her next time, I want some cubans to boot.
done.
asshole, what's wrong with you? All the times you went to the beach and she was wearing a bikini.
I come home and you go off in like 5 seconds and you do this to me? Son of a bitch.
Tommy? yeah? who are you talking to? just thinking out loud, you know.
are you OK? yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
OK.
'cause I really want to go.
OK.
you've been awfully quiet, Sean.
really? Wow! I thought I talked a lot.
no.
I'm not talking about talking.
I mean on the getting me all excited front.
oh.
Yeah.
Listen, I wanted to talk to you about that.
How about we go back to your apartment and I, like, get you excited in another way, you know? In a way that doesn't involve me getting punched in the kidneys.
huh! excuse me.
how's that sound? did you hear that? what? that guy just called me a whore.
no.
I missed that.
no.
You just called me a whore, didn't you, asshole? excuse me? oh, it was me.
I called her a whore.
I sometimes, I just do that.
It's not you got a problem, asshole? God! With you? Come on.
No.
What? Are you crazy? This guy maybe.
no.
Definitely him.
Not him.
yeah.
You're wrong.
I think it was this guy.
Did you just call my lady friend a whore? get away from me.
you know what? I think you did.
What are you? A tough guy? Oh! Jesus Christ! Oh! who's the tough guy now? Jesus, Sean.
my eyes! Sean, you need to get up.
This is so embarrassing.
You think you'd never been sprayed in the eyes with mace before.
my eyes! Jesus Christ, man.
You see this shit? what is it? it's a letter from the new York chapter of the American cancer society.
oh, Jesus! "dear Chief ronald perolli, the new York chapter of the American cancer society wishes to thank you most graciously" ow! Son of a bitch! "accepts your generous donation of $1,850.
you and your crew will be pleased to know" blah blah blah.
see.
No smoking kitty.
I told you it was 1,850.
yeah.
Perolli stole the money and donated it to the cancer people.
this sucks.
Totally sucks.
Jesus Christ, man.
You OK? What is this? A ray charles tribute? ah! God damn it.
you good? yeah.
I'm good.
yeah, yeah.
You're real good.
You need to go home, man, and get a seeing-eye dog.
I know.
It's just my eyes are killing me.
It's unbelievable.
Jesus Christ, Garrity, what the hell's the matter with you? I can't see.
look! Perolli took the money and donated it to the goddamn cancer people.
the people for it or against it? I only ask 'cause he's such a prick, it could go either way.
yeah, and like that specific amount was going to get them over the hump to finding a cure.
well, easy come, easy go, guys.
ow! I'm OK.
I'm going to go take care of stevie wonder over here.
All right? yeah.
Please do.
hey, frank.
I say we go back and get our money.
you think, Mike? hey, it's not like they can stop us.
They all got cancer.
ow! hi! hey! how was your day? it was good.
What's going on? we got pot roast, and your favorite, sauteed peppers, and creamy mashed potatoes.
It's going to be ready in about 5 minutes.
yeah? Uh, why? 'cause I felt like it.
uh-huh.
Where's my old man? oh, I sent him off with Lou.
They went to uncle red's place.
And I told them not to come back until after 11:00 so we can eat in peace and enjoy and get reacquainted.
How's angie? Johnny's angie? mm-hmm.
I don't know.
Why? How would I know? I will dump this on the floor, put the pot roast in the toilet, and piss in this saucepan in exactly 5 seconds.
I ran into her last week.
I was going to a union thing.
A surprise union speed it up.
and I was on the east side and just ran into her.
Bumped into her.
You know, blah blah blah.
What's going on with you? Bing bang boom, you know.
Why? oh! That's it? You guys just happened to bump into each other on the street? that happens! People bump into each other.
OK.
Dinner's almost ready.
So, why don't you just go wash up.
I will make you a cranberry and seltzer.
Go on.
Pfft.
Pfft.
this is for you.
It's your favorite.
thanks.
Ahh! I mean, I understand the need for revenge.
I understand envy and petty jealousy but why would she want to hurt me? I mean, all I've ever done is try to be a really good friend to her.
It's really sad.
I got to tell you, you know, she lives in Manhattan and she's got this big fancy job and this fabulous apartment.
Hmm.
grr! Aah! Ahh! Why can't it just always be like this? It's all I want.
Oh, God, Jimmy was just the love of my life.
When I was 12, that's when I met the two of you.
I was 12.
I just knew that he was the one.
He was so beautiful and I got him.
It took me till sophomore year but I got him.
oh, God damn it, I miss him so much.
I just want Jimmy.
I want Jimmy.
I want Jimmy back.
I want Jimmy back! Oh! I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Ohh.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shit! t? Tommy? T? You all right? What the hell happened? ahh.
Holy shit! yeah, yeah.
Look familiar? I hate to say it but, young man, you're grounded for a week.
Oh! Nice cock.
All right.
2 weeks.
listen, don't beat yourself up, all right? It happens to a lot of people in the program.
You know, you're doing good.
You're on the straight and narrow.
You're making vast improvements.
You know, vast for you meaning you're only thinking about drinking 23 out of 24 hours a day.
And then, you know, what happens, though? Bottle comes along like an old friend.
You thought it was dead.
It turns out it's alive.
It turns out to be a goddamn pretty pleasurable reunion.
I know, but I'm telling you I don't remember a single thing about that night.
Not a thing.
that's tough.
I mean, the only good thing about falling off the wagon is the beautiful memories that you have to tide you over until the next time.
Tom, you made a mistake.
You know, it's going to be OK.
Let's grab a seat.
OK.
Let me ask you something.
Did you ever hear about survivor's guilt? yeah.
Sure.
'cause somebody mentioned it to me and it was the first time I felt like, yeah, maybe this is what's going on.
Maybe that's what making me, you know, drink.
no.
No.
no? booze is your problem.
Survivor's guilt.
That shit's easy to get over.
oh.
die.