The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s03e07 Episode Script

1 This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and bad haircut.
- Remember that, now.
- Ooh! What? Uh - Cool.
- Oh, and that's a Mer-Krupp, half-fish, half-Krupp, all wrong.
Can you believe we're stuck making a Mer-Krupp while Krupp is kickin' it on his yacht? Actually, he's not on his yacht.
Javi's finishing the guaca-mural.
Krupp's having a better summer than we are.
I mean, he got the Jack Yacht, and we got jack squat.
We should be kayaking or horse climbing.
-Or playing paintball.
-Like in those paintball commercials.
Play paintball with Major Messy! It's war, but with paint and fun! Always wear protective eye gear.
Too bad paintball is so expensive.
Huh? "Major Messy's Paint and Suffering mobile paintball.
We bring the battle and all the gear to you.
" "First battle's free.
That's how we get them on the hook.
Wait, are you still typing? Don't put that on the banner!" Man, that's a real peek behind the banner-making curtain.
Bold! -What the heck? -Oh, my gaaar! I'm Major Messy! Who wants to fight with paint for free? - Yeah! - I can't hear you! Yeah! Boom! You guys rock.
-Let's paint it up! -Yeah! Just need an adult to sign this waiver for the stiffs at city hall, and we're good to go.
Uh, your plane? - Yeah! - Boom! So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.
Krupp is, too Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget when he gets wet You're sure to feel the squeeze! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! The Cunning Combat of the Covert Camoflush.
Chapter 1: Permission Flip.
Overdue electric bill.
Extreme Mayo, Wigs Quarterly, "You're under arrest"? Oh, no! They're coming for us, just like I said they would! Ah! Ah! Aah! Must destroy all evidence.
-Evidence of what? -What are you doing here? -I've been here all summer.
Oh! --Eh - Mr.
Krupp? Can we play paintball? - Ah! -No! -Come on, it's free.
Nothing's free! It's a trap, just like everything else.
I'm okay.
That's why the cops are on their way to railroad me into the hoosegow.
-The what? -The slammer! -The what? -The pokey.
-The what? -The clink.
-The what? -The stony lonesome.
- You mean jail? - Yes! "You're under arrest by the pizza police"? -This is just a pizza coupon.
- Hmm.
-So, can we play paintball? -No! Now help me get everything out of the toilet.
Oh, no.
Ah! Oh, clammy boy The pipes, the pipes are stalling From room to room And down the ground outside Hmm.
All in favor of tricking Krupp into signing this waiver? - Aye! - Hey, how are we both in here? -We share a brain, remember? -Oh, yeah.
-You're in a pickle here, Mr.
Krupp.
-A big pickle.
If the parents find out you've flooded the camp, they'll level this place and build a mall.
Then you'll be director of making corn dogs.
You're right! What do we do? Relax, you deal with the toilet, and we'll keep the kids quiet.
Just sign this.
It's a, uh-- It's a standard release form giving us temporary emergency camp authority.
Again, George and Harold tricked Krupp into signing something he didn't read.
Yes, that's my signature, but I didn't order an elephant.
Now put a cork in those kids.
And that's how you get a signed paintball waiver.
Heh, so good.
- Are you ready? - Yeah! Still can't hear you.
Yeah! Hey, can you guys pipe down? I'm trying to order a jetpack for my brother.
Yes, deliver it today, please.
-A jetpack? That's awesome! -Is it his birthday? No.
We had a falling-out years ago.
I play fast and loose.
He keeps it high and tight.
But it's time to un-burn that bridge.
And, as we all know, the first step towards healing is a jetpack.
Anyway, who's ready for paintball? -We are! -We are! - Paintball! - It's finally happening! This summer just got a whole lot more summer-er er.
-No paint, no gaint.
-What's a gaint? - First, we gotta go over the rules.
- Aw! -Hey, you think I like rules? -Well, you are a major.
I'm Major Messy.
That's a marketing hook.
But I gotta follow the rules to keep my license.
Chapter 2: Flow-tal Ree Call.
Krupp called the only person he trusted with a toilet emergency.
It's not so bad, right, Mr.
Ree? As you may recall, Mr.
Ree is the school janitor.
He's also a former secret toilet agent and a former super villain.
But that's the past.
It's worse than bad.
These pipes are shot.
-You're gonna need a complete plumb-over.
-Sounds expensive.
-There has to be a cheaper way.
-There is, but it's risky.
-Do it.
-Wanna hear the risks? -Do it! -It's your toilet, chief.
-Ah! -Can I go back to my desk now? No! Eh "Rule 27: make sure your socks are on at all times.
" -Oh, I can almost touch the paint.
-Do we have to cover all the rules? Hey, you think I like this, lady? So many rules! Look, it's for your own good, okay? Now, "please remember to protect your armpits at all times.
" Paintball's not supposed to be about reading.
Well, if we gotta read, let's at least read something fun.
Chapter Three: Captain Underpants and the Covert Camoflush.
By George and Harold.
So-oh-oh-oh-oh one time, this kid Keith had a paintball party 'cause bowling parties are out-- Bye-bye.
But the kids had to learn safety rules first, and they were like, "Groan," and, "Snore," and, "I'd rather be doing chores and maybe.
" And Captain Underpants was there, too, even though he wasn't invited, and Keith was like, "Do I know you? You're an adult.
" But Captain Underpants was too busy eating the cake-- glug, glug-- even though it wasn't time yet, and chugging a gallon of fruit punch-- kerglug.
What? A gallon? Then Captain Underpants started playing paintball because it was a party, man.
And the kids were lovin' it-- Shwap, shwap, shwip, shwup, shwappaping, paint! But Captain Underpants had to go real bad, 'cause fruit punch, and he found a portable toilet, which was actually an alien on vacation.
Crazy, right? But get over it 'cause all bodies are beautiful, ding! And Captain, I mean Keith-- He's not a captain.
And Keith called the alien "Camoflush" 'cause he was a jerk.
Not the alien, Keith.
But also the alien.
Because Camoflush turned invisible like a magician, but real.
-Wazip! -"Where'd he go? Oh, where'd he go? Where'd he go?" And started hunting all the kids and saying, "Flibber borp abzupshalab," which means who knows what, 'cause alien talk.
So, Captain Underpants loaded up his skivvy slingshot with paintballs and-- shwaping-shwap-shwupow-- the paint went everywhere and made Camoflush visible again like a fence! Then Captain Underpants gave him a tighty-whitey good-nighty, which is a headlock that tucks you in like Mom.
"Good night, Mommy.
I'm thirsty again.
" "Please, really?" And then the kids went back to having fun, but Captain Underpants left 'cause he had three more birthday parties to crash.
Okay, the end.
-What's that? -Go-etry in motion.
It's a portable toilet.
Until we take care of that clog, it's your only hope.
No, the tank! -What's in there? -POOPS.
This was a mistake.
No, POOPS stands for "Pipe Obstruction Obliteration Protocol System.
" It clears pipes.
But it's experimental.
-Yeah, yeah, but it's cheap, right? -Yes.
But everything has a price Oh, no, not a flashback.
After the Toilet Eliminator of Really Dangerous Stuff, or TERDS, melted down, we knew we needed a way to clear any jam, so we made POOPS to compliment TERDS, a real one-two punch.
But my partner was reckless, a hot dog, a real restroom renegade.
I told him POOPS wasn't ready, but he wouldn't listen, so he dropped the hammer.
And POOPS hit the wall.
When the smoke cleared, he was gone.
That was the last time I saw him.
-Ever? -Until Thanksgiving.
But it was never the same.
Anyway, I kept working on POOPS, on my own, in private.
It's ready, but POOPS shouldn't be taken lightly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blah, blah, blah, let 'er rip.
Meanwhile, everyone was taking a break from reading their rule manuals and, instead, reading George and Harold's latest comic book, including Major Messy.
How could I be so blind? I've become the enemy! A rule monger.
Paintball isn't about rules, it's about fun.
Take your binders and tear 'em in half.
Impossible.
You'd need a blowtorch.
These binders are polypropylene.
Yeah! I am a god! Uh, too much? Yeah, no, that was too much.
Like that! Come on, tear 'em.
Tear 'em! Tear 'em! Yuch, come on! Tear 'em! Like that.
Tear 'em! Tear 'em! Tear 'em! Tear 'em! Tear 'em! - On second thought, throw 'em.
- Yeah! It's too late for me to escape the rules.
I'm a slave to bureaucracy.
WatchBur-rock-racy With R.
Ed Tape, whoo! But not you, kids.
Now, go have fun! Take risks, make mistakes.
But most importantly, live! Yeah! Live by the paint, die by the paint.
Or just live by the paint.
Whoo! I'm gonna live, too.
Fast and loose! Uh, after I go to the bathroom.
That guy does drink a lot of coffee.
-No.
No! No.
-But remember -Krupp clogged every bathroom in the camp.
-Oh, no! Now stand back.
I'm gonna blast a truckload of POOPS into that toilet and hope for the best.
Sounds good.
What could go wrong? Fire in the hole! Oh! Finally! What's happening? This won't end well.
Hey! Hey! Whu What happened to me? I have power? I have stealth power! How did this happen? Let's ask the Science Sock.
Since POOPS makes clogs vanish POOPS plus paint plus Major Messy Plus a portable toilet Equals a toilet soldier With cloaking power Now I have the power to paint over every rule on earth until none remain.
I am a god! A paint god.
All right, everybody.
The rule is if you're hit, you're out.
My low expectations for myself were warranted.
My skin may be green, but my rage is red.
Red! Never mess with a god! Oh! Oh, ow.
This is fun.
This is summer.
This is paintball! Wait, are you sure we got everybody? I feel like we're missing someone.
Erica! -Ah! -Color you surprised.
Yes! Been waiting to say that for hours.
All right, Erica wins.
New game! Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice mail system.
It's me, your brother.
I want you to know I've changed.
And now I'm going to change the world.
I'm raising an army of rule-breakers to defeat the rule-makers.
And you know what? I hope that jetpack I sent you gets lost in the mail.
-You guaranteed this would work.
-I said the exact opposite many times.
-Well, what do we do now? -Now we clean up the mess.
Like, with a mop? Chapter Four: You Paint Seen Nothing Yet.
Sophie One, wear this to blend in.
Other Sophie, wear this to stand out.
Uh! Bossy, Glossy, and Mossy, go nuts.
Let's, like, shoot these paintballs at whatevarrr we want.
Yes, break all the rules.
But easy on the paint.
It's not cheap.
You were smart to form an alliance with me.
There's just one catch.
- Betrayal! It serves me right for trusting another living soul.
Instant karma! Moonbeam, Goggles, cut loose! Yes! Loose cannons.
Cannonball, rules are for fools! Oh, good energy! But we gotta save that paint for the Drop the paint, Erica! No, you drop the paint.
-How about we all drop the paint? -Okay, on three.
One, two, three! Guess we're all getting painted.
- That's right! By me.
- Whoa! It's Major Messy, but he looks like Camoflush from our comic.
Camoflush, I like that.
A new name for the new me.
No more ranks, no more rules, and no more waiting a half hour after lunch to swim.
-Why are you wearing a portable toilet? -How'd you get invisible? All your questions will be answered after you join my army.
I wouldn't do that.
It's three against one.
-We've got the numbers.
-Wrong.
-Um, I think he's got the numbers.
-What'd you do to our friends? I made them lean, mean painting machines.
And you're next.
Our army is going to wipe out rules forever! I hate rules as much as anybody, but you've crossed the line, man.
Plus, I mean, armies don't work without discipline.
Wrong.
Toiletroops, ready aim I didn't say "fire"! What are you shooting at? You're out of control.
They-- They disappeared? But that's my thing.
Toiletroops, find them! And stop wasting paint! Sorry for the smoke.
My restroom reflexes kicked in when I saw that walking toilet ambush you.
-That's actually Major Messy.
-So he's military.
No.
He's the paintball guy, and probably not a real major.
Paint? I was afraid of this.
It all started earlier today I was filling Mr.
Krupp's toilet with POOPS.
No, we are not doing a bathroom flashback.
Also, you can't do a flashback from today.
Yeah.
Flashbacks have rules, man.
POOPS stands for "Pipe Obstruction Obliteration Protocol System.
" Your acronym game needs work.
Point is some of the POOPS must have combined with his paint and turned him into a living stealth weapon.
It's just science.
Don't look at me, I'm just a sock We need to get Captain Underpants before Camoflush finds us.
So, you two take Captain Underpants, while Mr.
Ree and I take Camoflush for a spin.
-Like, drive him around? -No! Because flush, spin! You know what? Forget it.
Dry land, I know it's out there, and I'm gonna find it.
- I'm gonna find it! - Mr.
Krupp? Wait.
Harold, look! "Please keep out.
Bathroom is flooded.
" We can do better.
"Krupp smells of bad feet.
" - I like it.
- Ah! Tra-la-liquid! Captain Underpants, there's a super toilet guy who can turn invisible, and he's making an army.
Is it Toilet Tuesday already? We should head over to Tara's Toilet Tower for all-you-can-eat toilets.
- That's not a thing.
- Spoke too soon.
Have a hunger for toilets? Then come on down to Tara's Toilet Tower.
- Right now! - Because eating toilets is - Totally normal.
- Nice.
-Now stop him.
-Okey-dokey, fried egg yolky.
'Cause if there's one thing I can stop, it's a toilet.
Am I done being a paddleboard? I think we've bought George and Harold the time they need.
-And I'm tired of running from a toilet.
-So let's stop running and start painting.
Your paint may make us visible, but our paint will make you Toilette? Lavatore? Is that you? You guys know each other, Mr.
Ree? Yes.
He's my brother.
Hold on.
His name is Lavatore Ree and your name is Toilet Ree? It's pronounced "toilette.
" And, yes, our parents were French-Canadian.
And they loved bathrooms.
We were also research partners until I quit due to scientific differences.
You blew up POOPS! Because there were too many rules! But that'll change when we paint the rule mongers into Toiletroops.
Cops, teachers, even lifeguards.
That is not you talking, Lavatore.
That's the POOPS.
Blurred lines! Join me, Toilette.
Together, we'll break the rules until the only rule is no rules.
But that's a rule.
What are you doing? I can't fight my brother, but I can outrun him.
Gah! Missed him.
D'oh! You're playing cards? Why didn't you paint him? Maybe an army of rule-breakers was a bad idea.
I'm here to chew gum and flush toilets.
And I swallowed my gum.
Ooh, a painting party! You're not allowed to use paint, remember? I'm gonna paint this whole town red I'm gonna paint, paint, paint Until I'm dead You like paint, huh? Toiletroops, now's your chance.
-Paint at will! -Sorry, I'm on paint probation.
So let's play dodge-paint instead.
Whoa! Chapter 5: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter in Hide-O-Rama, because if you're hiding, you're not fighting.
A bush! Nature's hiding spot.
Whoa! Hot dog cart, the perfect place to hide unless you're a hot dog-- Whah! Ooh! A toilet and a hiding spot! Two birds, one bladder.
Oh! He's like an obese eel with legs.
I had eel at the Tuna Tyrant.
Mm, mm! Whoa! It's like looking in a mirror.
Oh, no! They're gonna paint the town red.
And I'm the town! No! Oh-whoa! It's over.
You're gonna help me repaint the world into a rule-free paradise, 'cause like you said, live by the paint and die by the paint.
-Yeah, well, we also say -If you're gonna go down -Go down painting! -Yeah.
Whoo-hoo! Paint party! Really wish you guys would exercise more paint control.
But let's move forward.
This is where the rules end and the paint begin-- Oh! What? Hey! Hey! You got the jetpack, and-- and you're flying it without a helmet.
Very un-you of you.
Yes, Lavatore.
You were right.
Rules are made to be broken.
From now on, I'm flying by the seat of my pants.
No more stopping at stop signs.
No more reading instruction manuals before operating dangerous jetpacks.
Yes! That's what I'm-- You didn't read the manual? -Not a word.
-Well, that-- that's the spirit.
Uh, you filled it with fuel, right? Nope, because that's a rule, and I no longer play by the rules.
Well, not-- not all rules are bad.
No, this is what you wanted.
A world without rules, right? -So, this is it, huh? -Yeah.
But at least there aren't any rules, right? Oh! I was wrong! Loose cannons are a nightmare! Bring back the rules! Tra-la-la! You guys wanna pencil in a hike for next Saturday? Noonish? Wait, why didn't the paint change you? Because he's covered in PLOPS.
PLOPS stands for "Paint Limiting Override Protocol System.
" It's a variation of POOPS I developed to paint-proof pipes.
And we used PLOPS to paint-proof Captain Underpants' pre-paint pounding.
Wow, that's a lot of "P.
" We're covered in PLOPS, too.
Can we call it anything else? Can I take this baby for a spin? -Isn't that thing out of gas? -It is.
We need to un-paint those guys.
You think PLOPS can make everyone regular again? - Worth a shot.
- Did it work? Chapter 6: To Make a Long Story Short it did.
I take it all back, Toilette.
-You were right, rules are important.
-Yes, I know.
That's why I almost killed us both, to teach you that.
And Captain Underpants? He didn't read the jetpack manual either.
Also, it actually was out of gas.
Why am I wet? And where is my Jack Yacht? No! My Jack Yacht is jack squat! Javi? You're alive! Guac! Javi, you're an angel!