The Guild (2007) s03e07 Episode Script
Coping and Stuff
"Someone" planted five pairs of nunchucks, a pink pack of ladies razors, and a kitchen blowtorch, you know the ones you use for crème brûlée, in Bladezz' school locker.
They have a zero tolerance policy for weapons, even lame ones, so Bladezz could be in big trouble.
And that tool face from the Asses of Anarchy had to log on and rub it in.
A boy named "Valkerie"? He's a guy who plays a girl's character.
I don't know why I said that like it was an insult.
Anyway, as Guild Leader, I have to help out my Guildie, who's in high school.
Man, I'm so old now.
And my friend saw a hot chick wheeling through the hallways, so they totally framed me! Think they'd use a more inconspicuous mole.
Attractive women in wheelchairs have life-immunity.
What a butt-waffle move! We gotta get them to stop this! Uh, everyone, what are these experience points I keep hearing you talk about? They're what you use to level your character, Wiggly.
I think we need to contact this rival Guild and Level? Is that where you get in the ocean and swim around a lot? Because I did that for, like, two hours last night to build up muscle.
There is so much fail in that sentence I can hardly begin.
Fail? Honey, can you go do 100 push-ups for me? I just love it when you have firm abs.
Okay.
Okay, if we're gonna make fun of my husband, let's do it behind his back! Clara, he's not getting better! But I made him macros! And as soon as I can get him to understand what that means, he'll be on auto-pilot! Warning: If we continue to play with him, we have to accept that our median level of skill will nosedive.
We will morph into, dare I say it, casuals.
No! I won't do it.
I'll quit first! I'm ruined in life, I cannot be ruined in-game! Shut up! You're killing me! I want things to be like they were before! Bladezz, turn the caps off.
I have an idea.
Are you up for a trade? No! I told you, as a hunter you have to stay far back to attack! Oh, I'm a hunter.
Cool! Is he helping you? Are you finished? I'm ready to get online now! Oh, sweetie, could you just give us a few? Bladezz is giving me a few tricks to add to the old arsenal.
Wiggly, you don't have an arsenal.
You're in a pit of noob, and you can't get out.
You guys are so cute! Oh, my God.
You're fighting with a spoon? Okay, seriously.
This is gonna take forever! You're like the Dork Squad, right? $25 an hour? Oh, that's right.
Cash.
Are you guys done yet? Shut it.
This is going to take hours.
Hours and hours.
Just do your scales, tap your foot to the beat.
Got it.
I have Guild business to attend to.
Ding dong.
Fresh meat.
We got a strange fuck in chat again? Kwan requested, the strange fuck, please leave! Hi.
This is Codex from the Knights of Good.
You guys can't keep attacking Bladezz like this.
"Can't"? In Anarchy-speak "can't" translates as "should.
" Nay, MUST.
He could go to jail! We don't do anything half-assed.
We Anarchists use both cheeks.
Venom arranged to substitute teach at his school.
Sit back, and admire the skill level.
Venom's a teacher? Art.
I like to give kids an outlet for their hate and misery.
Tink, are you seriously okay with this? She's not here, and I'd rather take a bath with a toaster than listen to this.
Oh, noes! My boot slipped! Oh! Rude! They blocked me? Ohh! Out of tune! Horrible! Constructive criticism? Uh, put your finger in the middle of the fret.
Hey! Hey, it's Bladezz's sister! You're my MyFace friend! Who isn't? Did you get any information on Tink? Yes, yes, I have her dorm address.
And I also found out that she's pre-med, which is, quite frankly, scary.
I guess I'll try to contact her, see if we can stop some of this stuff.
What is around your neck? Oh, this, yes.
This was given to me by Riley.
Love Token'd.
Is that a dog collar? No, no.
It's a human collar.
It has my name and contact information in case I get lost.
Anyway, uh, Riley likes you and would like to get to know you better.
You know, with me.
Uh, in more non-traditional ways.
In what? You know, in activities that are not so PG rated.
I don't understand.
He's asking you for a three-way.
Yes, that's correct.
The little one gets it.
Play! Zaboo, look.
I don't think this relationship with Riley is healthy.
Oh, I get what's going on here.
Yeah, you're jealous.
Meow'd.
No.
That is completely the wrong conclusion you should have drawn from that.
Well, what am I supposed to think? All that lashing out and that using of a lash.
Riley, I guess she needs something more from me, you know.
More romance, more feelings! Come on, Zaboo, think of something good! No, no! Oh! That's not gonna end well.
God.
Okay, I'm not involved! I'm not involved! No! Why am I in charge here? Where is Vork? This is the only way I can get four bars.
Quatro baros! Keeping your nose clean, delinquent? Officer! What are you doing here? Greetings from the Axis of Anarchy.
They have a zero tolerance policy for weapons, even lame ones, so Bladezz could be in big trouble.
And that tool face from the Asses of Anarchy had to log on and rub it in.
A boy named "Valkerie"? He's a guy who plays a girl's character.
I don't know why I said that like it was an insult.
Anyway, as Guild Leader, I have to help out my Guildie, who's in high school.
Man, I'm so old now.
And my friend saw a hot chick wheeling through the hallways, so they totally framed me! Think they'd use a more inconspicuous mole.
Attractive women in wheelchairs have life-immunity.
What a butt-waffle move! We gotta get them to stop this! Uh, everyone, what are these experience points I keep hearing you talk about? They're what you use to level your character, Wiggly.
I think we need to contact this rival Guild and Level? Is that where you get in the ocean and swim around a lot? Because I did that for, like, two hours last night to build up muscle.
There is so much fail in that sentence I can hardly begin.
Fail? Honey, can you go do 100 push-ups for me? I just love it when you have firm abs.
Okay.
Okay, if we're gonna make fun of my husband, let's do it behind his back! Clara, he's not getting better! But I made him macros! And as soon as I can get him to understand what that means, he'll be on auto-pilot! Warning: If we continue to play with him, we have to accept that our median level of skill will nosedive.
We will morph into, dare I say it, casuals.
No! I won't do it.
I'll quit first! I'm ruined in life, I cannot be ruined in-game! Shut up! You're killing me! I want things to be like they were before! Bladezz, turn the caps off.
I have an idea.
Are you up for a trade? No! I told you, as a hunter you have to stay far back to attack! Oh, I'm a hunter.
Cool! Is he helping you? Are you finished? I'm ready to get online now! Oh, sweetie, could you just give us a few? Bladezz is giving me a few tricks to add to the old arsenal.
Wiggly, you don't have an arsenal.
You're in a pit of noob, and you can't get out.
You guys are so cute! Oh, my God.
You're fighting with a spoon? Okay, seriously.
This is gonna take forever! You're like the Dork Squad, right? $25 an hour? Oh, that's right.
Cash.
Are you guys done yet? Shut it.
This is going to take hours.
Hours and hours.
Just do your scales, tap your foot to the beat.
Got it.
I have Guild business to attend to.
Ding dong.
Fresh meat.
We got a strange fuck in chat again? Kwan requested, the strange fuck, please leave! Hi.
This is Codex from the Knights of Good.
You guys can't keep attacking Bladezz like this.
"Can't"? In Anarchy-speak "can't" translates as "should.
" Nay, MUST.
He could go to jail! We don't do anything half-assed.
We Anarchists use both cheeks.
Venom arranged to substitute teach at his school.
Sit back, and admire the skill level.
Venom's a teacher? Art.
I like to give kids an outlet for their hate and misery.
Tink, are you seriously okay with this? She's not here, and I'd rather take a bath with a toaster than listen to this.
Oh, noes! My boot slipped! Oh! Rude! They blocked me? Ohh! Out of tune! Horrible! Constructive criticism? Uh, put your finger in the middle of the fret.
Hey! Hey, it's Bladezz's sister! You're my MyFace friend! Who isn't? Did you get any information on Tink? Yes, yes, I have her dorm address.
And I also found out that she's pre-med, which is, quite frankly, scary.
I guess I'll try to contact her, see if we can stop some of this stuff.
What is around your neck? Oh, this, yes.
This was given to me by Riley.
Love Token'd.
Is that a dog collar? No, no.
It's a human collar.
It has my name and contact information in case I get lost.
Anyway, uh, Riley likes you and would like to get to know you better.
You know, with me.
Uh, in more non-traditional ways.
In what? You know, in activities that are not so PG rated.
I don't understand.
He's asking you for a three-way.
Yes, that's correct.
The little one gets it.
Play! Zaboo, look.
I don't think this relationship with Riley is healthy.
Oh, I get what's going on here.
Yeah, you're jealous.
Meow'd.
No.
That is completely the wrong conclusion you should have drawn from that.
Well, what am I supposed to think? All that lashing out and that using of a lash.
Riley, I guess she needs something more from me, you know.
More romance, more feelings! Come on, Zaboo, think of something good! No, no! Oh! That's not gonna end well.
God.
Okay, I'm not involved! I'm not involved! No! Why am I in charge here? Where is Vork? This is the only way I can get four bars.
Quatro baros! Keeping your nose clean, delinquent? Officer! What are you doing here? Greetings from the Axis of Anarchy.