The L Word s03e07 Episode Script

I only dated men before I met you.
- Who is it? - His name is Josh.
Look, she didn't go after me I went after her.
The one thing I know, is how I feel.
- Are you doing hormones? - Not yet.
I can hook you up.
- Could Icould I talk to you? Of course.
It's never gonna happen again.
If that's what you want - We wanna publish your book.
How much of the content would I have to change? Not all that much.
I'm giving you one of our most gifted editors.
- Are you jealous? - It just made me sad.
You're so fucking sad that you go off and you fuck Cherry Jaffy? Shane, what kind of a psychotic response is that? Would you mind disposing of this obsolete thing? You threw Dana out? Alice, Dana is sick.
Oh my God! What're you doing in here, baby girl? How does that feel? It's better than the first time.
You know what? It kinda turns me on that I'm helping you become more of a man.
You are! Do you think I have fucked things up by giving you your dose a couple days early? - No - No? Billy said that it'd be just fine.
Oh Yeah? Do you trust everything what Billie says to you, Max? Look, you're the one who wanted to shoot me up before you went to New York.
Yeah because I give you your first dose.
And i'mgonnajust give you your second does.
And I wanna give you all of your doses coz I'm excited of what we're doing.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm the one who's doing this, Jenny! I know that you are.
And we're gonna do it together.
My name is Connie and I'll be taking care of you doing your treatment.
Oh, it's really cold! It's really cold! Is that right? I don't think it's right.
.
It doesn't feel right! It's gonna feel that way for a few minutes, Dana.
Then your body should adjust to the temperature and get warmer.
But you might feel a bit cold because the fluids are running through your body for the duration of the treatment, ok? There are blanks over here.
I'll grab you one.
Justsee If i can find There you go! That'll keep you warm for a little while.
If either of you have any questions or concerns, just talk to me, ok? Thank you, Connie.
So Dana, just sit back, try to relax, it's gonna take about 3 hours.
Oh, andwe do have iPods with lots of Toto, Survivor, WhiteSnake, you know? Just if you wanna feel worse.
How does that feel now? How the fuck do you think it feels, Lara? How do you think it feels to get everything under the kitchen sink pumped into your veins? My skin's fucking crawling! Where the hell did my life go? Baby, your life is right here.
I'm here, your fiends are here your familiy, your fans My fans? My fans?? Have you been to my website? Have you seen what they're writing about me? One morron even wrote that I'm faking having cancer! "She's faking it!" Because I finally won a tournament, I'm actually just retiring.
I told you a million times not to read that crap.
I said it before and I'm gonna keep saying it until you get it I am here.
I'm not going anywhere.
Why? Why're you still here? Hey, it's looking good I think.
- Yeah? - Yeah! How does it feel? ErmIt feels good! Ok done, Carmen.
- Next victim! - Oh god, thank you! You're welcome.
Let me see.
Can you see it? - I do, i like it! - Yeah? Yeah, i do! Well, good, coz it's on for life.
Look at you two, another couple of dykes of my tattoos! Yeah You know what, though, it's like getting our names tattoed.
Nobody else makes KOD KOD? Kiss of Death! Thank you.
- Welcome to British Columbia! - What? I said "Welcome to DC!" I was just saying welcome.
Well, you got my attention.
Take me to your leader! You are the leader, remember? Oh, it's gorgeous! The downtown of Vancouver is right here.
We're doing our interior and of course the final chase scene on Vancouver Island.
How's the crew? They're canadian.
What does that mean? It means they work hard and drink hard and they all have their own personal grizzly bear stories.
And we just broke for lunch so it's pretty quiet here.
Are you hungry? Oh god, no no I'm still trying to get my pre-pregnant body back.
Look good to me! The scientology tent.
- What? - I'm kidding, that's crafts services.
That's the extras holding tent.
That's base camp right at the trailers.
How's TJ doing? Besides the tiny crane cabin and a 15 years old boy teaching him how to snowboard.
And Leslie? We had to call in a body double yesterday because she had sex.
What? why? Bruises on her ass.
Oh God Is anything going right? You surprised me with the visit.
- Bruises on her ass? - Yeah Wow, that was really incredible! Really, I just I just love listening to you.
And your students love listening to you.
It's You're really an incredible teacher! Go and catch a falling star Get with child a mandrake root Tell me where all past years are Or who cleft the devil's foot Teach me to hear mermaids singing.
Wow, it's beautiful.
This is my favorite church in LA.
Ermyeah, i'm not going in there.
One embrace doesn't make you a vampire, Alice! No, It'sI agree with the vampires It's not that, it's just as far as I'm concerned, God sucks! God sucks? That's pretty atheistically dark.
Yeah, my My ex and my best friend, DanaShe's erm She's 32 years fucking old and she has breast cancer and today she was going in for chemo And i justI wanted to be there, so You're still in love with her.
No.
Since I met you, and I'm not telling you this to tick you off or anything It's just I kind of had thiserm shrine.
She's a pro tennis player and she had a little poster lifesize cut out of herself and I - You know - Well, we all have different rituals to exercise hard break.
- You haven't completed yours, Alice.
- No, I did, I did! You know, I threw it away, last week since she released me from my mortal coils.
- You threw it away? - Yeah, I did, it was really a big deal for me! Get it back, Alice! Why? I threw it away, it's goneI mean, the garbage man took it away this morning.
- It's gone! - You put a lot of mojo into this lifesize voodoo doll.
You don't just throw it away.
You have to properly released it and let her go.
I do? Call me when you've taken care of Dana.
You might feel a little nauseous later on tonight and for the next few days, Dana, so I'm gonna give you a prescription for Zofran.
You take one in a body at hours if you need it and one tablet twice a day for the next two days.
- Are there any special foods that I - Am i gonna die? You are young and you've taken excellent care of yourself.
You have a very good chance of surviving and living a full and productive life and we're gonna do everything in our power to improve those chances.
Now since chemo has the affect of breaking down the immune system, you have to be mindful about infections, so Wash your hands off and keep your hot food hot, cold food cold and avoid any situations where you can cut yourself.
And unless you've had all the childhood diseases chicken pox, German measles, mumps, try to avoid any children who might have been exposed to them.
It's all pretty common sense stuff.
Any questions? When am I gonna lose my hair? Ok, why don't you just put everything near the stage? Don't get if off together for sound check tomorrow.
- Did you want a pick up for tomorrow night? - Yeah, late tomorrow night after the show about It speaks! That's Mister Ed to you, super fly stress.
Look at you, when was the last time you slept? Don't get me any shit, Kit I had to jack off twice just to get my heart started.
And i couldn't sleep.
I've got FMS.
FMS? What is FMS? Is that 'Fag Munchausen Syndrome' something? No, 'Feel of missing something', gimme your hand, darling.
Oh Jesus! Well, I don't care what you got all I want you to do is get your shit together by tomorrow night because I don't want any fuck ups with the B-52's Do not give me any attitude about this! I'm the one who brought them here.
I know, i know! I know you booked them You're the best of their friends way back in the day I know this, i know all of this Well, then you should also know that all you need to do is keep the booze fluid and keep your own vices under control.
I mean, i don't let mine getting in the way, I'm making your business flourish! I didn't have to drink to get my life together.
And you're both going to love it! It's where we make films, the place is full of surprises There's lots of lorries on the lot and there are ships and you're both going to see everyhing when you next come down to visit.
- Mommy, can I take the costumes too? - Come in! Of course pumpkin I'll take you to the wardrive department.
Did mamma tell you about Daba-Tete's robe? Yes, Winnie told me all about that.
- Oh my God, are those your children? - Yeah! Sweethearts, can you both just say Hi to Dylan? - Hi Dylan! - Hi you two! I can't wait to meet you.
Sweethearts, Mommy's gonna have to go now.
I'm sorry but i'll speak to you tomorrow, ok? Big big kiss to you! Bye bye, I love you too! Bye! Oh my God, that is so great that you can see them when you talk to them like that! YeahI talk to them everyday.
ErmI was in the neighborhood And i thought i would bring you something.
Thank you! I'm glad you came by.
caprice flake a bronston pickle two of my absolute favourites.
That's fantastic.
Thank you.
How goes edity? You haven't called me You know, Dylan, I made a promise to myself to.
.
erm stop sleeping with married people.
Danny is my boyfriend.
We're not married.
- We live together.
- Yeah, but in lesbian world that is married.
I've wanted to call you but This is a really difficult situation for me, you know you're with someone else And you're straight, at least that's what you told me.
- I am straight.
- But Dylan, this is a no way on my part.
What starts in chaos, ends in chaos.
I like you a lot! What does that mean, Dylan? I dont wanna be the lie you tell to someone What do you want? You know what I want.
I don't want it halfway and I dont want it at someone else's expense.
We should just be friends.
Can we try that? Hey Alice! Alice, wake up, come on! Come on! Wake up! Come on! Alice, What do you think? I think that's really discrete.
- You do? - Yeah! I had my first girlfriend's name tattooed on my ankle.
I had it removed.
Oh, why didn't you put something else on it? Wrong woman? Hello everybody.
- Hey Jenny, hey you! - Hello.
- Hi, how are you? - I'm very good.
Hey, how are you? Ierm I've picked these from my garden.
For you.
Thank you, they're beautiful.
- I thought you were outta here? - I'm taking the ride to New York tonight.
What's going on? I'm gonna be meeting with my book editor.
- That's exciting - Thank you.
Is Moira going with you? No, she's gonna work at the Planet tonight with Billy.
Alright, we had to close tonight, so we could rig for tomorrow.
That's right.
The B-52's are gonna be there.
That is huge.
Kit, how did you get them? My sex and drug crazed manager, he landed them.
Happy first chemo, baby! Oh my gosh! - Oh look at that.
- Oh my god, that's a beautiful cake.
I've never heard of a chemo cake before.
Well, your girl made it for you.
It's a red velvet, baby, your favorite.
You know, I'm a little nauseous right now actually, I don't think I can have any of it, ok? - That's your favorite baby - Look, I'm fucking sick Lara, ok, just take it away! - Be right back - Yeah - I would love a piece.
- Is that wedding cake? No, it's not wedding cake.
You're just jealous coz my girlfriend and I are two gold stars that have found each other.
What's a gold star? Oh, It's someone who's gay who's never had sex with a person of the opposite sex.
Yeah, people who bump uglies with uglies.
Can i be a gold star even if I've slept with men? Jen, you're the Jewish star.
Yes, and I am a Latino gold star.
So, how many gold star do we have here? Oh, Helena, you're a gold star? Well, sort of, I mean, the english public shool boys that I shacked as a teenager they were just experiments, they were so feminine, they don't really count.
Helena, that does not count.
I think you might be a spoiled star.
Oh really? You know, My mom was from Texas and she always called herself a Lone Star because my dad was the only guy she every slept with.
Are you serious? Yeah! I can't imagine that.
I can, it sounds nice.
Tina's mom is a Lone Star too.
Where's Tina? Babe, she already told us.
Tins is in Vancouver.
'She already told us'.
I forgot, ok? What are you, my memory monitor now? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! - Look, ermI'm gonna golie down, if that's ok? - Yeah, that's ok.
- Do you want me to come with you? - No.
Hey Max.
You're getting muscles.
Yeah.
I think i'm already starting to bulk up.
Hey, won't you get in trouble for that? Big sisters over a the chemo clam bag.
I think it's really harsh what's happening with Dana.
- And it must really be hard for Lara, too.
- Yeah, it's rough.
My lover was sick for 3 years before I lost him.
I thought I was gonna die right along with him but I didn't.
He leaves you behind to deal and you deal.
- How long were you two together? - 12 years.
Every night I feel his breath on me.
I've never had anyone I loved die.
Oh You will, handsome.
You will.
You're a really cool guy, Billy.
You really helped me out a lot.
- How are you feeling? - Alright I guess, maybe a little itchy.
You've started fucking like a rabbit yet? Kicks in about now Hard dong The only thing you can thing about is getting off.
Yeah, it's pretty intense.
Kiss me again! I like getting kissed when I'm getting fucked.
- I swear to God.
- No! - It was a penis enlarger.
- I don't believe you! I don't believe you! Oh my God! That is crazy! Can't wait until that hits the tabloids.
This is juicyI'm gonna have to leak it myself.
Ok, so Where we are with Leslie is ErmWe're thinking of calling in the body double again for scene 29.
We're just cutting the scene just easy sex anyway.
I don't have a problem with easy sex! I like a woman who gets right to the point.
Remember this aria? Oh, you mean our 3rd date when you finger-fucked me at the opera? Before the time we didn't think we're right for each other? Oh, and then you just met a straight girl that you thought you might fall in love with.
No, I don't remember a thing.
Hey Angus, could you watch Angelica just for a minute? I don't know how to deal with this, Alice.
This anger in her, it's nothing that i've ever seen in her before.
- Well, She's never had cancer before, I mean who knows how to deal with it? - I know I know! I justI feel like everything I do or say is wrong! And she justShe keeps pushing me away.
I mean, obviously I'm not helping her.
Lara, Dana needs you.
She needs you, Alice.
You're strong.
I justI feel lost, I feel totally lost.
Dana's lost too and I need to find her.
Now I feel like I'm floating outside my body.
And I'm watching myself do these things and I can't stop myself.
- I can't change anything.
- Yeah.
I felt like that when my dad died.
- Like it wasn't my life or something.
- Yeah.
I know I just can't relax.
I can't sleep I can't listen I love Lara.
And I can't stand her.
And i'm terrified to be alone.
You know, Dana I obviously have never been in your position.
But you know that one of the things that really helped me where these relaxation exercises I did with my therapist.
Do you wanna try? Yes.
Lie down! Close your eyes! Turn out all the sound around you! And then let it go! And as you inhale feel that your body becoming heavy and grounded.
Your arms go heavy and relaxed into the bed.
As you exhale, let everything go! Just let it float away, like a river floating away.
You're safe.
And you're floating away to another place.
Now I want you to picture yourself in the most beautiful place that you can imagine.
Are you there? I'm there.
It's so beautiful.
It's so alive.
It's so peaceful.
I'm whole.
I just wanna stay here.
Will you stay with me? Yeah.
I've wanted you since the moment that I saw you! You know, I've never thought that you are queer.
Shht, don't speak! You're way too hot for that.
You're so not a lesbian.
Josh! Are you really that clueless? You have no idea who I am or how I feel! I know that you didn't feel like a lesbian just now.
It was gonna be so easy for you: I was so ready to jump into bed with you.
Now it turns out you're an ignorant ass.
God, why couldn't you just shut up and fucked me? Why make it impossible for me to do something that I wanted to do? You're one fucked up woman, Tina! Yeah well, I'm still your fucked up boss! So what now? Nothing.
You stay here, I go back to my hotel.
Tomorrow we'll meet and we're gonna talk about production budgets.
That's your world, Tina.
I just work in it.
I don't know.
There's something about my boys that's just different.
I don't know what it is I don't know, but Hey, Kitten Mangus Billy, what the fuck are you doing? You know I don't care if you fuck up your own life but you will not fuck up my business.
This business is my life.
The door, Billy, was unlocked The police could've come in! - Calm down, Kit! - No, don't tell me to calm down! Billy, you're the most irresponsible fuck i've ever met in my whole life! You are a sad and selfish mess! I don't care how many people you know and how many people you bring to the club I'm not gonna have it.
I'm not gonna have this shit! I am talking to you, Billy! Listen to me! I think it's time for me to go.
Good morning.
Baby, what's going on? - Oh that feels good! - Yeah? - Yeah! - Ok.
Hold on! - Wait, Wait! - What? - Stop! - What? - You don't have to - What's wrong? Oh, I'm sorry, I just What? I'm sorry, I'm just I'm distracted.
Why're you distracted? It's not you.
I'm sorry! Dana! Hey, it's ok.
It's ok.
It's not ok! Come on, I'll make you some breakfast.
Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? You're not a fucking nurse! You're not my mother! - You're not anything - I do know that, and I'm not your fucking punching bag either! Maybe Maybe it would just be better for you if I went away for a little while.
Why don't you just go then, huh? Why don't you just go? Go to Paris! Take that chef's course you've been talking about! - I mean, just coz your girlfriend's dying, doesn't mean - You're not dying, Dana! You don't fucking know that! How the fuck do you know that? You're not God! What do you want? I have tried to be there for you.
I have tried to do everything.
- What do you want from me? - I want you to go! I want you to go! Go I dont want to go anywhere without you, ok? - I love you, Dana! - I just want you to leave Just go Please go Leave! Excuse me.
Hi.
Ok, i gotta pee, thanks! Dana Fairbanks, she's got long brown hair.
Have you seen her? - The lesbian tennis player? - Yeah! - She doesn't work here, honey.
Well, no shit! I I know she doesn't work here I threw her out.
- Come again? It's a lifesize cardboard cutout.
I threw her out - You put it in the blue bin or black bin? - I don't know, I justI put her up by the trash.
Well, she can be in one of two places.
If you put it in the blue bin, she's being recycled at the Allen company.
- Ok - Ok? If you put it in the black bin, you're never gonna find her.
Why? Where will she be? She'll be at the Puente Hill's land fill in Whittier.
WhittierFuck! - Thank you! You're welcome.
Hey Dana.
No, I'm in Whittier.
What? It's gonna be alrightI am coming be right there.
Just chill out, i'll be right there.
Hey Moira.
- Hey We've got something to ask you.
Yeah, what is this? What's going on with Jenny? You guys, Jenny is fine.
It's mine.
It's testosterone.
I've started a program with it.
What kind of a program? You know I meanI've always felt really uncomfortable in this body.
So I decided a transition.
I'm changing myself from female to male.
Does Jenny know? Yeah She's helping me.
How is she helping you? She's been shooting me up with it.
Wow! So, you - you're really gonna go through the breast - stop surgery? - stop surgery? - Yeah Yeah, when i can afford it, I am.
You know That's strong! How are you? Good.
Everyone is excited about the sum of your parts Oh cool! Awesome! I'm really excited, I'm kinda nervous - and just like - except me! Ok - We have a lot of work to do! - Ok, great.
Oh I'm not talking about line edits, Jenny.
It's deeper than that.
As your editor, I have a basic problem with the journey of the book or rather the lack of one.
Uhm, but it's what happened to me so I don't know what I can do to change that.
- Let me explain if I might.
Of course.
Each moment the blade penetrated my skin I forgot what it was like to be on my face in the dirt.
Every drop of blood was a reminder that I still belong to the earth that I was flesh and blood that those boys weren't everything in my body.
Cutting myself, hurting myself, freed me from the hurt they inflicted.
I was the one doing the damage, not them.
- I don't see what's wrong with that.
- You show yourself as a victim.
Jenny, you're repeating the same scene over and over.
It feels compulsive.
I was a victim when that happened to me.
I don't know why I can't say that.
Jenny, you're an excellent writer.
- Thank you.
- But that worries me more because I think young girls will read this, they'll think cutting is a viable response to trauma.
I would never suggest that anybody does that to themselves.
But, for me, in that moment, at that time It made me feel like I was alive and it made me feel like I had some control over my life.
- And in that moment that was empowering.
- That's bullshit, Jenny! - I'm not - It's not bullshit, because it's what I did! You can't tell me, I'm sorry I'm sorry, but you can't tell me what's bullshit Listen, I'm not going to publish a book where I tell young woman that self-inflicted violence is going to free them from the violence they endured of the hands of other people! - I'm not gonna do that! - I'm not asking you to do that! Jenny, what's missing in the book is your strength! Your resolve, your heightened awareness! - I've survived.
- Yes! And I'm interested in how you thrived, not just survived.
I'm here Jenny, it's really hard to give up being a victim.
It's safe, it's cosy, it's familiar I'm interested in the other place when you got out of your pain, out of yourself! And you were able to connect with a larger world.
Let me ask you something.
Why are you working on my book? Why? You guys asked me to change it from fiction to memoire and that put me in a pretty vulnerable position and suddenly I'm too passive for you.
I'm a victim, I'm not transformed enough? So, you know what I think? I think I don't know May I take? Thank you.
I think you should probably go find yourself another hero.
Fuck you! That was it.
She said she was going to Paris for this class She couldn't handle it anymore.
That was it.
And she just left me.
I can't fucking believe she just left me! I can.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? That means you've been a total monster.
And I know how much Lara loves you and you just pressed her too much.
I'm sick, Alice She fucking abandoned me.
No, you've been showing her the door.
You did, just, self-pity and bullshit.
- Fuck you, Al! - No, you know, Dana? Not fuck me You know why? Coz you have to get a grip and you're not gonna have anyone left to call.
Why're you doing this? Coz I'm your friend And I'm not gonna let you treat me like shit too.
You know You're surrounded by love and your fucking insurance and you have a family, and friends and a home You're young and you should be out of bed.
I'm sick, Al.
I know you have You have cancer.
But you're nauseous from the medecine.
you're not bed-ridden.
You know what I think? I think you should come out with me tonight.
I don't think the B-52's should miss you.
I like the B-52's.
I can't, Al.
So what if someone's gonna bump into me My bandage is not even off yet, you know Alright, well, I'll call Kit and I'll have her prep a little special section for us.
Ok? - Guess what? - What? I'm gonna take care of you.
I'm gonna make sure that you're safe.
I promise I promise.
Hi.
Hi.
Now that is our finest and most respected editor.
She hates my book.
How could I hate your book, Jenny? It's my story, darling, I'm the girl in your book.
That's why I put the two of you together.
But It's my story.
- It's not hers.
- I'm just asking you to come out it from a position of strength.
And I have come out it from all the strength that I have.
That's honest.
If that's what Jenny is, then that's how she has to come out it.
I'll tell you what I'm not the right person to edit Jenny's story.
I understand it.
But I can't promote it.
Bless you, my darling.
Thank you.
Yeah, so Alice said that it got ugly.
What? Can I get a Dewer's on the rock on any chance? Lara left DanaAnd she said that she couldn't take the pressure anymore.
Yeah, and Dana kicked Lara out but we shouldn't be talking about it in front of Dana coz she's really upset about ithonestly.
Sure Lara will come back! - Hey Kit.
- Hi.
Drinks are on the house.
Hey guys.
- Hi.
- How's it going? Oh, it's going great.
Come on, i'll block inteference for you.
Yeah, come on.
- Alright, gotcha.
- Ok.
Excuse me! Excuse me! - It's packed in here, Kit! - Yeah, it's sold out for days.
Dana! Dana! Hi.
I'm so glad to see you.
Can you sit down? Thank you.
I'm the booby-guard.
Nice.
Hey, did you guys see Moira's arms? You know They feel like man arms, kinda But they're cute, but they're getting big.
She's practically a man, Alice.
That's a little harsh.
No, I'm not being harsh, I swear to god just being honest.
Hm, what are you being honest about? Hey Shane, I don't get what's your big problem with Moira? Well, she just doesn't like trust what she's doing.
What's she doing? I mean, besides looking after Danny? Hey where's Tina, is she coming? Oh she's up in Canada on a film location.
Hey, Josh is a little overambitious Josh as in Joshes Movies? Yeah, I mean, he's a great producer, we just had to send Tina there.
That's great, so she went up to Canada to be with fucking Josh Becker.
Who's fucking Josh Becker? Tina! Ladies and Gentlemen Billy Blacky and the Planet proudly presents you The B-52's! There's gonna be much change, Al.
Yeah, Moira is becoming a man.
Are you guys fucking kidding me? For real? Does Jenny know? She's helping her.
Shane just told me that Moira is getting a sex change.
- Wait, what are you talking about? - You know the article I wrote about gender reassignment surgery.
Oh my God! I love that article! It was all about likewomen who become men.
And they take hormones and testosterone.
And they cut off all their hair and they cut their tits and I'm gonna go.
- No.
- No, I gotta go.
Dana, I'm so sorry! Shit! - Shane - Why did you I didn't mean to.
Oh God! Dana, wait! you're gonna hurt yourself! I don't understand why? Alice, leave me alone! Leave me! Alice, just leave me alone! You're not alone! Fuck!