The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s03e07 Episode Script

1
[screeches]
[moaning]
[thuds]
[screeches]
[moaning]
[theme music playing]
Ahh!
[roars]
Whoa!
[screaming]
Hmm, let's see
What's next on my 72 daily tasks?
Feed Rover!
Ha! Such a helpful wheel!
Without it,
I might miss something really important.
[grunts]
[banging]
[humming]
Cords.
[humming]
[grunts]
-[sighs]
-[grinding]
Just need to check that
all the zom-b-gone torches are online.
Unless one of you guys wants to!
Hello? Jack?
-June?
-[creaks]
Dirk! You're here!
And you're wearing a tuxedo?
Ah, my big day! Heh!
Passed the test,
now I'm gonna be an honorary monster.
[sighs]
Is the tux too much?
The tux is too much, right?
I'll ditch the tux. Yah!
-Keeping the cummerbund.
-[snaps]
Dude, Jack and June are gone!
Hey, relax, bro. They're probably
on a, like, summer stroll.
Summer stroll?
You think too much.
[sighs]
Oh-ho-ho!
[monsters chattering]
[grunts, growls]
[whimpers]
O-okay, nerd burglar.
Listen, Chef is all in my head.
I just want him to like me.
But I also wanna crush him!
I've never seen this emotionally
vulnerable side of you, friend.
Argh, I'm gonna enjoy my big day,
Chef or no Chef.
Come on, I need backup.
You mean emotional support?
No! Backup! Totally different!
Uh, I would but
What's the plan, Quint?
Fix the radio, Quint!
Wrestle my arm, Quint.
[barks]
You wanna go gallivanting?
Then I, too, will gallivant!
Tasks can wait!
[buzzing]
[Jack over radio]
Quint? Guys! Someone please answer!
I have to tell you important
life and death King Wretch stuff!
Somebody, please pick up!
Whoa!
The torches!
[screeching]
-[moaning]
-[Jack] They're doing this on purpose!
I've doomed my friends.
My scaredy pants fear of losing them
is gonna cause me to lose them for real!
Probably.
But Quint will fix stuff
and save everyone. Right?
Probably not.
[whimpers]
[monsters chattering]
[monsters cheering]
[blows raspberry]
Come on and have a seat,
honorary monster buddy!
Ugh! [groans]
-[gasps]
-Hey, now!
[groans]
Ha ha ha!
That's it, Chef!
I did your challenges! But if that
ain't enough to earn your respect,
then I'll show you how we do it on Earth!
[bangs]
Listen.
The sound of the undead.
I don't hear nothin'.
You have only two organs for sound intake.
I have forty-seven!
But zombies can't get
within a mile of town square.
Unless
Oh, no!
Every single torch out? How?
And wait! Where's
The radio's gone!
What is it?
June. She She left!
And she took the radio!
And she's not with Jack!
I told you they weren't
on any summer stroll!
This is bad! Come on!
We must re-light each torch by hand
or zombies will overtake the town!
Bellybuster, take a group to the North.
Biggun, Globlet, to the South.
The rest of you, to the East.
Bardle and I will go West. Now go!
We need to crank the generator
to power all the torches.
No matter what, we can't let it stop!
-Uh-huh. I huh?
-[Chef] Hey!
Sounds important. Better let me handle it.
Hey! I was about to say that!
Oh, you were gonna say
better let me handle it?
No! You know what I
Enough! You both stay behind.
-Aww, no fair! Aww!
-Aww, slitherin' sea whiskers!
[Rover barks, pants]
He told you to stay here. Ha ha ha
Hey! Hold it!
[panting, grunts]
[hums, vibrates]
[electrical hums]
[chitters]
[growls]
[electrical zaps]
[chitters]
[roars]
[snarls]
[electrical zapping]
[growls]
[pants]
[radio static]
[sighs]
[radio static]
[signals buzzing]
[gasps]
[static]
Ugh.
[sighs]
[Chef]
Ha! Humans.
Scared of harmless things
like the slow, dumb undead.
Don't scare me! Ha ha ha.
[clears throat, sniffs]
Oh. [sniffs]
But that does.
[sniffs]
Oh, that's the stink of evil.
[crackling]
[growls]
[both gasp and whimper]
[roars]
[panting]
I told my friends
I'd monitor those torches!
What is wrong with me?!
[snuffling]
[growls]
Oh, no! Zombies!
They're already here!
-[Skaelka] Hah!
-Ah!
Yah!
Ah!
Sorry, my friend. Shirley, here,
was just excited to see you.
-[Jack] Hi, guys!
-Jack!
Where were you?
[silly sounds]
I went to destroy the King Wretch.
And I did!
Only problem, he sent out
his way too loyal wretch army.
[gasps] The torches!
They're the ones putting out the torches!
Ugh, yep.
But we've faced worse, right?
You know, you and me
and with Dirk and June?
Hmm. Um
Uh, Quint?
Why'd you make your queasy face?
You made your queasy face
when I said June.
June's gone.
What?!
Um, g-gone to get torches back online.
[Skaelka]
Which is what we must do!
-[gasps]
-Come!
-[Rover barks]
-[Jack] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[zombies moaning]
[moaning]
[moaning]
[thunks]
[thunking]
[panting]
You two take the torch
at the flooded parking lot!
We'll handle the one atop the lighthouse!
[panting]
This is the most important one!
It defends the entire eastern border
of Wakefield!
What are the odds there's
a scary old zombie lighthouse keeper dude
at the top of this thing?
There wasn't one
when I installed the torch!
Thanks for putting that idea
into the universe! [pants]
[moaning]
-Ah!
-[moaning]
Once they pass the lighthouse,
it's a straight path to town!
That is very useful and effective signage.
Okay, Quint, plan wise, what's the plan?
I don't have one!
Whoa! I just meant it like,
you know, a general question,
like, let's figure it out.
Dude, why are you being weird?
-I'm not!
-Yes, you are!
[zombies moaning]
But there's no time
to chat your weirdness.
[moaning]
[doors creak]
Jack! The stairs are not an option!
No worries, we'll just take the elevator.
[foghorn blows]
[moaning]
I didn't know it was a zombie dinner bell!
[growls]
[Chef]
Your stupid machine
brought that nightmare front and center.
We gotta get it away from the generator!
[Chef]
Ya think?!
Ooh, Chef weapons! Hah!
[Dirk] Hmm!
[roars]
Fire!
[roars]
-[engine revs]
-[tires squeal]
[roars]
[howls]
I-I got a plan.
Trust me!
Nah. Hard pass.
Ugh, fine!
Plan fails, I-I turn over my crown.
Honorary monster, no more.
Ha-ha! That's more like it.
[both grunting]
-It's rusted shut!
-No, it's rusted open!
Whatever!
[moaning]
[Jack]
Quint! Hurry up!
Hurry up and what?!
You know, do something!
I don't have a plan for the
Ah!
Corrosive crazy string? Sweet!
Yuh!
It won't hold long!
Hurry up and help me turn!
[Quint and Jack grunting]
Ah!
Ugh, it's like zombie Tetris!
[grunting]
-Huh?
-[gasps]
Jack, no! You shouldn't read that!
W-wait.
Oh What?!
Jack! Jack!
[grunts] Whoa!
Ah! Ugh!
Ah!
[grunts] Ugh!
[whimpers]
June really left?
Jack! This is not the time!
The dead are rising, literally!
Why didn't you tell me?
Because I knew you'd fall apart.
And I couldn't have you falling apart
the same day thousands of zombies
were marching toward town.
I need to know
if one of my friends leaves!
How could you let that happen?!
Seventy-two, Jack.
Seventy-two!
Every day, seventy-two responsibilities!
Seventy-two things
I was doing for you guys!
[moaning]
I Ugh!
Ugh! Time out for zombies!
Ready?
[grunting]
[panting]
[sighs]
[sighs, gasps]
-Ah!
-[screeches]
Huh?
The torches are out.
Zombies that close to town?
Something must be wrong.
[radio crackles]
Hmm.
[Jack]
Ah!
[moaning]
[grunting]
Okay, you got a plan to
To handle this?
I can't keep doing everything!
I can't keep you alive
while fixing the radio!
And also Ugh, I need a snack.
Quint, you've never been
this mad at me before.
Yes, Jack, I have.
I just never told you before.
[roars]
-[growls]
-[electrical zapping]
I'll get him runnin',
then you pop out and finish him!
Ugh!
Hey! Over here!
Come get me!
[roars]
-[Chef] Wait!
-Hey!
No, no! Stop the train, blood sac.
-[growls]
-[Chef] I see.
You want the glory so you look like
Mr. Guts 'n Guts!
Dude! No! I'm just trying to
Ugh!
[roars]
[growls]
[groans]
Now, I will do the risky brave stuff
while you easily finish him.
Fine!
-Ohh
-Ugh!
You think the one who does the slaying
gets the glory, huh?
Nope. Switch places back to before!
-[roars]
-[grunts] Ugh!
[clattering]
Another pass like that
and we're dirt nappin'.
[growls]
[gasps]
Uh, how about we both risk our skin
and both get the glory?
Keep talkin'.
Hmm, that's all I got.
[moaning]
Crab cakes! Now this door is stuck!
Dude, if we turn into zombies
while you're angry at me,
does that mean you'll
always be angry with me?
Like are you gonna ignore me
at zombie parties and stuff?
[laughs, sighs]
Quint, I never asked you to do all this.
And And [sighs] I liked you
before you did anything for me.
Don't you know that?
I don't always know.
I never had a best friend before you.
Quint, I never had
a best friend before you, either.
[both] Aah!
Okay, let's get out of this mess together!
[both grunting]
[grunting]
-Yuh!
-[panting]
[zombies moaning]
Phew!
[moans]
Ah! Scary old
lighthouse keeper dude zombie.
I knew it!
Aah!
[both panting]
Ugh!
Aah!
[panting]
[moaning]
Aah!
[moaning]
[sweetly]
It's okay. Please, come closer.
Oh, I will not.
Ah! Ha-ha!
Fooled you!
I have fooled nineteen in a row!
They are not bright.
[moaning]
[barks]
Huh?
Our help is needed.
-[Dirk] Hey, Ugly! Over here!
-[growls]
-Hey! Hello! Look at me!
-Hello!
[roars]
-Hello! Look over here!
-Ooh!
[clicks]
[groans]
-Take that! Ha-ha-ha!
-All right!
-Ugh.
-Well,
looks like you stomped into
the wrong town, buddy boy.
[sighs]
Phew! It's okay.
-Oh, look out!
-[growls]
Sizzlin' steak sammiches!
[roars]
[moaning]
[panting]
Ugh! I'll hold them off!
Get to the torch!
[grunts]
[moaning]
[pounding]
[cracking]
Ugh! Huh!
Ah! Ah!
Back off! This deck
is not certified for zombies!
Look, I really don't want to hurt you!
Nearly there, friend.
Ah! Ah!
The extension cord!
[shatters]
Ah!
[grunting]
Oh! Whoa!
Oh, man!
[gasps]
Yes!
Do something, you worthless meatbag!
[panting]
[grunting]
[Bull roars]
[Dirk]
Yah!
[roars]
Ugh! [whimpers]
-[roars]
-[electrical zapping]
[roars]
Ha! Your human plan failed!
It took my pizza paddle
and my barbecue ashes
to slay the evil beast.
Ugh! Shoulda just let him eat you.
[grunting]
No scary old lighthouse keeper zombie dude
is biting my best friend! Yuh!
-Ugh!
-[snarls]
Ah!
Jack!
[grunts]
Ah! Ah!
[moaning]
Ah!
[snarling]
[grunting]
[moaning]
[snarling]
[Jack whimpering]
[grunts]
-[sighs]
-Phew!
My barbecue, my victory.
[grunts]
Fine, take it.
[laughs]
You've done it! The final task!
[laughs] You had
your monsterdom taken from you.
You got mad. Then gave it back!
That's the true final task.
[laughs]
You're just making this up as you go.
[laughs, clears throat]
Yeah, well.
-Too slow! Ha-ha!
-Aww, give me that!
[laughing]
Hey! You wanna grill that bad boy up?
-[flies buzzing]
-Ugh, bro.
Eh? Ha-ha. Eh?
Yes! Ha!
Sizzlin' steak sammiches!
Hey! That's my catch phrase.
[laughs]
[elevator screeches]
Okay, gotta hurry
before June makes it too far.
If she wants to go, she can.
But I can't let her leave
without her knowing stuff.
[both]
Ah!
-[snarls]
-Ah!
Aah!
Hah!
-Ah!
-[thuds]
[moans]
[grunts, blows]
Still good.
June! You're here. You came back!
Looked like you boys needed a little help.
Hmm. My sorcery was not needed.
I was excited for fighting.
Bardle! Perhaps, you and I?
A friendly dual to the death?
I don't think of you that way.
You left.
[sighs]
I know.
I I got all the way to Jackson Peak.
And then I saw the torches, the zombies.
[sighs]
Hope it was worth it.
Dirk lost an arm!
What?!
Kidding.
[small laugh]
-Ah. [clears throat]
-[chuckles]
Dude, don't joke like that.
Dude, don't leave like that.
Okay. That's fair.
I was worried about you.
Back atcha.
You might wanna, uh, talk to Quint.
The radio, everything.
Hey, Quint! Can we talk for a sec?
I'm sorry about the radio,
about pushing you.
[Quint]
It's good to have you back, June.
[monsters laughing]
So, we seen this bull, right?
I got a plan.
[chuckles]
Well, Chef'll tell ya.
Man plans, Grog laughs.
You guys know Grog.
Well, thankfully because of my
Well, she came back this time.
But what if one of them leaves again?
How can I convince them to
Funland?
This is it! This is what I need!
[laughs maniacally]
[coughs]
[laughs maniacally]
[theme music playing]