The Magicians (2016) s03e07 Episode Script
Poached Eggs
1 Previously on "The Magicians" Poppy Kline.
Dragonologist.
Post-graduate fellow and field researcher.
- At your service.
- You're from Brakebills? I'll go to Fillory on one condition.
That girl you saw in the dungeon we'll get her out.
Victoria.
You found me.
Look, I'm here.
No, I have to put myself back together.
I need to sign out.
You are a danger to yourself and to others.
No.
The fairies aren't just terraforming, they're growing an army.
We need a plan bigger than just assassinating the Queen.
We need Hostages, leverage.
Don't ask questions.
- Did you get the key? - I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
- I'm a terrible failure.
- Benedict, no! [SPLASH.]
They don't just make portals.
They are portals.
The key way to the Underworld.
It's magic.
I'd do anything to get it back.
If I could give it to you, I would.
I see the transfer worked.
Alice, are you okay? Alice.
Ah Alice! Okay, someone's gotta hear this, please.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
I'm sorry.
Husband problems.
The little weirdo wouldn't go to sleep until I read him a bedtime story.
That's disturbing.
Let's hustle.
Q's probably already at the tree.
Tick, how are we doing? Five minutes till the fairy guards change shifts, Your Majesties.
Now, no one knows we're gone, okay? If the Fairy Queen asks, we're bedridden with something contagious.
Like chicken pox.
Certainly, Highness.
But must you leave? Prince Fomar's people have been somewhat difficult.
- What do you mean? - It seems your union gave the Floaters the distinct impression that this land is now theirs.
They've been, well, pillaging a lot.
I-I thought perhaps a royal address You're thinking too small.
There's only one way out of all of this, Tick.
- Extortion.
- Exactly! I need you to stay strong.
We are working on it.
But we can't deal with the Floaters until we deal with the Fairies, got it? I can't believe you paid the Hudson River dragon to send you to the Underworld.
That is so cool.
Yeah, well, it was a one-off.
Can't exactly go back to her without something to trade.
Ah, I hear she's kinda withholding.
And judge-y.
Anyway, you think your ghost friend's gonna be able to help us? There's no "us.
" I'm gonna go talk to Penny alone, and you're gonna go back to whatever life you were willing to backstab me for.
Okay, I'm kinda sensing some hostility here, and Q! Oh, good.
Hey, I don't know if it was just, like, a super anxious rabbit, but your message made things seem kinda Dire? They are.
- Are those supplies? - Hostages.
- Who the fuck are you? - I'm Poppy.
I'm helping Quentin find the next key.
- No, she's not helping me.
We're - Okay, can we hit pause on the recap until we're back where our pasty usurpers won't kill us all? I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give And I'll survive I will survive Hey hey Oh, my God.
Alice? Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Alice, can you hear me? [WHIMSICAL MUSIC.]
I told you, I'm fine.
I'm not sure what definition of "fine" you're using.
I expected this, okay? My body's just getting used to Julia's magic.
There are occasional surges.
That's all this was.
I mean, was that all this was? A surge? Or more likely her body is going through the equivalent of organ transplant protection.
Attacking itself to get rid of the invader.
[CHUCKLES.]
Or maybe it's nothing at all.
Who knows? Who knows? Well, we need a better answer than that.
You wanted to do the spell.
It's all an experiment.
I have no idea what's going to happen.
Look, I prepared for this, okay? Energy-balancing spells, exercises I suppose that could work.
Your confidence is overwhelming.
What's the point of lying? [SIGHS.]
You people are just going to do what you do, regardless [WHISPERS.]
Q.
Okay, you go get the key, I got this.
No, I'm gonna stay here and help.
I don't think more is merrier here.
I don't know didn't you notice your ex is a little [RAISES VOICE.]
Stubborn.
I noticed.
Alice and I got into this together.
I'll get us out, one way or another.
And I will make sure that she's okay.
Okay? Go get the key while you still can.
We're all kinda counting on you to bring back all of magic.
So you lost your key in the Underworld and now want me to somehow go down there and get it.
Well, you're my only friend who's technically dead, so For the millionth time, dumbass, I'm not dead.
I'm an astral projection.
No offense, but your corpse is ash, so I think maybe you might be in a little bit of denial.
I mean, look, weren't you supposed to report to the Underworld branch of the Library anyway? Yeah.
And I burned my body to avoid that.
Look, if we do not get to the Underworld before Benedict moves on whatever that means then we will have no idea where the key goes.
That's not my problem.
No magic is everyone's problem.
Do you think that I like begging for help? Especially to you? I wouldn't even do it, except that I know that you occasionally stop being a dick when the fate of the world is at stake.
Fine.
I'll help.
But it's not like I can just Travel to the Underworld.
So we need a gatekeeper.
A dragon, like Jules and I used.
What about the Library's dragon? Sorry, couldn't help but overhear.
At least one side of the convo, anyway.
- The Library has a dragon? - Mm-hmm.
A brindle-coat Albanian pygmy.
They call it the Bookwyrm.
I read about it during dissertation research.
I assume it's real.
Ask your invisible friend.
Yeah, apparently.
I hear they use it to send books to and from the Underworld.
'Cause dragons are portals, right? Yeah, exact ha the Bookwyrm's too small to send a full-size person down there.
Well, what if the person was a book? Well, you said you can project into objects, right? Yeah, I did did say that, didn't I? - Jesus Christ.
- Okay, so this might work.
Except, say, I get the key and send it back up it's stuck in the Satellite Library, which is on another planet, so So, we need another Traveler.
- Um.
- Oh.
I only know one.
And she got grabbed by the Beast in Fillory.
[SIGHS.]
Victoria, she was in my class.
Wait a minute, you know Victoria? Of course you know her, you um Wait, wait.
She's not dead? No, I mean, we saved her and she sorta took off.
I have no idea where she is.
If she's on Earth, I can find her.
On one condition I wanna come.
I've never seen an Albanian pygmy dragon before.
This could be my only shot.
- All right, fine.
- [WHISPERS.]
Oh, yes! This doesn't make us friends, you know.
[ICE CLINKS IN GLASS.]
Discover anything useful for Alice? Um, yeah, actually, there's some pretty interesting stuff on combining immunosuppressants with a crystal-based healing ritual.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Not long ago, you wanted magic so badly you fought through a memory wipe.
And now It's complicated.
Uh and personal.
Fine, I'll file it under "entitled Millennial bullshit.
" Let's be frank, Ms.
Wicker.
Whatever you and Alice are doing, it won't work.
You don't know that.
I know a lot more than you.
You're drunk, and you're mean.
And I'm right.
Look, for whatever reason, what you had fits you.
It doesn't fit Alice.
If she keeps it, she'll die.
- So what do I do? - Take it back.
Maybe you don't want it, but I think you'd prefer it than to have Alice's blood on your hands.
You need magic to initiate the transfer of magic.
Alice has it all.
She'll never do it.
Well, fine.
Go get some.
Oh, sure, I'll just pop over to the store.
Actually, I think I may know someone who may be of assistance.
But given their naked opportunism, I can't imagine it'll come free.
What if the Fairy Queen doesn't buy our "sick day"? Tick's a crafty son of a bitch.
- He's got us covered.
- Okay.
- Eliot.
- Hey, guys.
We had the most wonderful adventure.
We went to the Square of Time, where no one sleeps.
And it's always light.
A man urinated next to me.
Then we saw bards performing on your famous Broad Way.
You call it "Cats," but it's just humans in cat greasepaint.
And we tried a delicacy called pizza at an eatery that was "Family Style.
" Well, I am so glad that you two had some bonding time.
Hi, Todd.
Hi, Dad Eliot.
Uh, Fray, did you enjoy anything at all? Earth? Or the Square of Time? I do want you to like things, you know.
I can tell you want to be a good father.
It's sort of sweet.
I think I might grow to despise you less.
- With time.
- Oh.
Let's go with that.
Not to interrupt this Hallmark moment, but Todd, you got a sec? Yeah.
Wait, fairies are real? - Mm-hmm.
- I thought Fray was just nuts.
I mean, she is, but yeah, they're real and they're raging dicks, so I'm gonna need you to keep an eye on these.
Is someone going to come looking for your weird eggs? Just make sure Fray doesn't see 'em, and if you don't hear from me by tomorrow night, I've got another job for you.
Oh! Thank gods you're back.
What's with the feathers? I had to make your "chicken pox" convincing - to the Fairy Queen.
- Mmm Okay.
As long as she bought it.
Everyone in the castle did.
Even Prince Fomar and the Stone Queen headed back to their mountain/island.
The Fairy Queen has no idea you were gone.
Well, that's good news, right? So what's with the face? [OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[FLIES BUZZING.]
Well, this just took a dark turn.
In exchange for my babies, you want my bathtub? You collect toes and eyeballs, and you think that's weird? You'll pardon me, but I'm a bit taken aback by this sudden curious act of extortion.
Funny, we were taken aback by the Floaters on spikes on the side of the road.
We thought you'd be alarmed by that too, given you forced us into that alliance.
So what's it gonna be? Your bathtub? Or do we start making fairy and goat cheese omelets? It's a strange deal.
Even for me.
Right.
I should be more specific.
You're giving your bathtub to the entire population of Fillory.
We're gonna make a fondue fountain out of it.
It'll be fun.
And since I'll have a deal with all Fillorians, everyone will then be able to see us.
I suppose you're right.
No more shadow-puppeting.
Just straight-up puppeting, from now on.
Or hey, you could leave.
There is another option, you know.
I find my children, and then You have till tomorrow.
So have fun on the little egg hunt, 'cause if you don't make this deal, we're about to boil and dye 'em like it's motherfucking Easter around here.
I don't know what that means.
So, if I understand you correctly, you had magic before, and you lied to me about it.
Now you don't have magic and you've come to me why, exactly? Because I need your help.
Well, why should I trust you now? You've already lied to me once.
She's lied to me several times too.
So at least you know it's not personal.
Like it wasn't personal when you swooped in and bought my school, without so much as texting me first.
Henry, trust me, better me than them.
- Them.
- Anyone but me.
[SIGHS.]
And don't think the rest of the board wasn't considering it.
You said that your family has reserves of magic Limited reserves.
I just need a little bit.
I gave what I had to a friend.
- Why the hell would you do that? - But it is killing her.
So without your help, she will die and so will the magic.
All right.
Tell me about this Voltaic Transfer you performed.
Oh, shit.
Margo's gonna kill me.
You knew about this? I thought I was very clear about not looking in the cubbyhole.
You were.
That's why I looked.
Fray, what are those? Fairy eggs.
That Father and Margo took.
- You don't know that.
- Just when I was starting to think humans aren't all bad, they steal babies? The Fairy Queen stole you from us.
- No, you bargained me away.
- I did no such thing.
It was a fair deal.
This is kidnapping.
Unlike you, we have honor.
You're not a fairy, Fray.
Do you honestly believe the Queen will ever see you as anything but a human? Because she won't.
That's not true.
Um, didn't you say she named you Frail Human? That's pretty cold.
Humans are complicated.
Sometimes good people can make bad decisions.
Yeah, like, I once donated a kidney to this girl I really liked.
Only, it turned out she didn't actually need it for a transplant.
No matter what you think, I know who you truly are.
My daughter, and Eliot's.
And You just need to trust he did this for a very good reason.
Family is about loyalty, my love.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Fuck you! [SIGHS.]
Thought you said Victoria was your best friend.
She slept with Josh.
On our Fillorian spring break.
While he and I were still dating.
Are you really still upset about Josh? Can't we move past that? I mean, we were like sisters.
Yeah, do you not get that that only makes it more fucked up? Sorry, could we just focus for a second? It's just kind of important.
Look, even if magic was back, and these tattoos worked, I still wouldn't help you.
'Cause I don't trust you.
Okay, will you just hold on to this for a second? Victoria, be real with me.
You owe me that.
I know.
It's just not that simple, okay? I work with this group now, and I can't just Group? Yeah, it's kind of about freedom of information.
So believe me, we have no problem dicking over the Library.
It's just we got something going on.
Wait, is your boss, um is she like 40-something, hot, mostly rolls in ASL? Okay, so, if you know this Harriett person, can can you get her to help? Uh, she doesn't exactly - like me.
- Great.
So Victoria hates Poppy.
Harriet hates you.
So it makes perfect sense.
Some people are just so emotional.
Harriet does like Kady, though.
Okay, great, then let's talk to Kady.
Where is she? [FOREBODING MUSIC.]
Shit.
Kady.
All right, I can help you.
But you'll owe me a favor.
Uh, what's the favor? - To be determined.
- [SNICKERS.]
- Trust her.
- What could go wrong? Oh, Henry, don't be angry at me.
It was buy the place or let the Hewitts liquidate everything on eBay and turn this place into a an amusement park.
At least I care.
You care about something.
Do we have a deal? Is that cocaine? It's the excretion of a very rare magical creature.
But yes, you will have to snort it.
I'm sorry, what creature? I thought you had batteries.
Look, you asked me for my help.
This is what I have to offer.
Okay, Kady is in the High Risk Ward, down the hallway over here.
The ward is locked.
So is Kady's room.
And there's a guard station at the entrance right here.
Okay.
Those squiggles are guards? Yeah, see? Little guard hats.
Gotcha.
So, how are we gonna get in past all the security? We're not.
They are gonna bring her to us.
By law, if they wanna hold her involuntarily - for more than 15 days - They have to bring in outside doctors to certify she's crazy.
Yeah, and, uh, we will be those doctors.
They'll buy that? I mean, won't they check credentials and shit? No, it's like a state hospital.
Yeah, their computer systems are older than we are.
By the time they find anything on us, we'll be long gone.
Good thinking.
Should I be concerned that you both know so much about this? Mm There was a "crazy" time.
Okay, whatever, uh But it's not like you two can just walk out of there with a patient.
No, but Kady can walk herself out if she has a security badge.
And what, she's supposed to steal one of those off a guard? No, I will.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Here we are.
Kady, this is Dr.
London, and I'm sorry, Dr.
Kline.
Midtown Mental Health Clinic.
Which is where we work.
Yes.
We're here to do an evaluation.
Great.
Mind if I sit in? No, not at all.
Please do.
Okay, um, so, Kady, um Dr.
Walton here tells us that you've been suffering from delusions, and that you've been talking to someone named, uh Penny? Oh, um, yeah.
Don't look at me.
Stay cool.
We're breaking you out of here.
Kady, can you tell us about Penny? Yeah, uh, yeah, he was a my ex.
But I-I don't see him anymore.
Quentin's gonna hand you a security badge.
It'll get you out of the ward.
When you're on break, in the day room, use it to sneak out.
We'll be waiting.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Oh, someone has lost their badge.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[WHISPERS.]
Great.
What now? What if she doesn't take the deal? Then what do we do? Or, no What if she takes the deal, and then it's all-out war? Stop it.
It's going to be fine.
We could cut our losses.
We could head back to Earth and regroup.
We could finish the quest, restore magic, and then maybe revisit this when we stand a fighting chance.
You and I both sacrificed a lot for Fillory.
And now we're supposed to just hand over the kingdom to the albino supermodel? Bitch took my eye.
Hey, I don't wanna leave.
But what if we're making things worse? [OMINOUS MUSIC.]
There wasn't a blood test to tell me to be High Queen.
I chose it.
And I have had to fight for every shred of authority.
And no offense, but you can't understand, because it was handed to you.
And now I'm supposed to abandon my kingdom? Those fairy bitches wanna come for my crown, well I'll shove it up their fucking eggholes.
Well, that raises some anatomical questions, but I'm on board.
[CLINK.]
Maybe try the key.
- What? - Well, I don't know.
Like, wave it around or something.
Maybe a keyhole will appear in the wall.
This is stupid.
[SIGHS.]
And I feel sick.
Why are you here anyway? We already stuck a fork in this, Penny.
- We're helping you.
- All of a sudden? After I was such a ray of sunshine to you last time.
We need you to talk to Harriet.
We need her help getting the next key, so we can bring magic back.
All right.
And where's the next key? In the Underworld.
I'm the only one who can get it, Kady.
You're doing it again, aren't you? Throwing your life at a problem to solve it.
I'm tired, Penny.
What couple deals with this kinda shit on a regular basis? I thought we weren't a couple.
That's not funny.
It's a little funny.
Hey, yell at me.
I don't want to.
I am tired of yelling.
Yell at me.
I'm getting you out of this room.
Come on! Aah! Aah! Aah! [CLATTERING.]
Okay, Kady.
Hand over the contraband.
What's up? Uhh Go, team.
Alice, what're you doing here? What are you? I thought you were in a psych ward.
I was.
Now I'm the sanest woman in America.
Thanks to the 14 pills I took this morning.
[LAUGHS.]
I actually can't really feel anything.
[WHISPERS.]
It's fantastic.
If I didn't know better, I would say that you were just trying to cast an intermediate unlocking charm.
That would mean that I have magic, which we both know is impossible.
Right.
Hmm.
Well, don't bother.
I already looted the place.
Brakebills may be closed.
Black market's not.
Gotta make a living.
You, uh, looking for something special? Some Boswellia.
Bloodstone, steroids.
Fuck me.
So you do have magic.
What do you know about transplants? I know you'd have to be desperate to try something that stupid.
Well, who am I to judge? [CHUCKLES.]
I almost blew a werewolf so he'd turn me.
Magical creatures they can hang on to their magic just fine, so Please if you have anything that can help me Well, Boswellia and Bloodstone are total bullshit.
But, uh, steroids might help a little.
[BOTTLES CLATTERING.]
It's more of a Band-Aid than a cure, but It says take two.
You should take eight.
- Thank you.
- We're all screwed anyway.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, hmm? [BEEP.]
- Dr.
Bailey, you're needed at nurse's station 204.
- Dr.
Bailey - Nurse coming.
Shh! I know you don't wanna talk right now.
- I sure don't.
- Yeah, yeah, hate me later.
I'm going to the Underworld, Kady, give me this.
You're the best thing in my life.
Short life, granted, but I want you to know I don't regret a fucking second.
Well, you should.
It's crazy we lived this long.
We met.
We had great sex.
I got to know you.
I'm lucky.
What's your point? Don't be mad too long.
I want you to be happy.
Jesus Christ.
I can't be.
Without you, you fucking idiot.
But isn't that just adult life? Accepting your own misery.
[BEEP.]
- Code Green, Shit.
I guess they found my room.
Come on.
We need a new plan.
We can't just leave Kady and the key locked up in there I know, I know.
Quit being so twitchy.
You look suspicious.
No, I'm not.
You're suspicious.
[ALARM BLARES.]
Attention, this is a Code Green.
- Everyone stay in their room.
- Oh, shit.
Lockdown.
And stay calm.
We are on lockdown.
We're gonna have to help her Attention, this is a Code Green.
You sure this is gonna work? It's fire safety protocol.
How do you not know that? [FIRE ALARM BLARING.]
Attention, please proceed to the nearest fire exit and evacuate immediately.
See? Works every time.
How many times have you done this? And evacuate immediately.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Keep it moving! [FIRE ALARM RINGING.]
I told you we'd figure it out.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Oh, shit.
[GROANS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Come on, let's go.
Well.
Alice is gone.
Might be time to use this.
To cast a locator spell.
[SNIFFS.]
Ugh.
Reminds me of the old days.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't wanna know.
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
This magic it looks different.
It feels different.
If it's working, let's not split hairs.
Find her.
Wait a minute.
What's Alice doing there? I'm blind.
Are you going to tell me? Eliot, Fray found the eggs.
She was upset and tried to take them.
I stopped her, but she ran away and we can't find her.
This is not good.
And real bad timing, El.
Yeah, Fen, we are about to have a delicate negotiation, and while I am worried about our daughter, we need to put a pin in it.
There's nothing we can do about it right now.
- Perhaps I can help.
- Oh, Fray.
We've been having quite a talk.
Eggs and portals and quests.
So much going on I didn't know about.
We really should discuss.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Crap.
Fray? How could you? Like you said, family loyalty.
I've considered your offer.
And I propose a counter.
Don't hurt my children.
I won't hurt yours.
Wait.
What? [GASPS.]
- No.
- Don't you touch her.
But my Queen Let's just all calm down and talk about this, okay? - No one needs to get hurt.
- I agree.
I I helped you.
I Yes.
You're a perfect specimen of human duplicity.
Betrayed your own parents.
Why would I ever trust you? I just found the eggs and couldn't believe they would I just wanted all this to stop.
So let's stop this.
We gotta give her the eggs.
There's gotta be another way.
That's our only leverage.
I know, but she's my daughter.
We have a whole country to think about.
I can't be the dad that turns his back on his kid.
I'm not your daughter.
I'm just a human who - What're you saying? - What? Explain.
Now or it's poached eggs tonight.
Fray isn't yours.
Your real daughter died during childbirth.
She died? Oh, gods, I Oh, no.
Oh, no.
That is the sound of your leverage dying.
You'd better shake on this deal while you still can.
No, no way.
- Please.
- No.
I'm asking for this favor.
[MOUTHING.]
Okay, okay, look.
Look, I'm I am grateful for everything you did for me.
For Penny.
So how about this? What if [MELLOW ROCK IN BACKGROUND.]
Then we both get what we want.
So we're gonna rob the Library? - Oh, awesome.
- No, not awesome.
Stupid.
It is hard enough to sneak one person in there.
How the hell are they gonna get the whole group in? It's the dumbest plan I've ever [GROANS.]
Uhh Uh, Penny's got some notes.
You said you wanted to do this.
You don't know the defenses this place has.
I don't wanna see you get hurt.
Oh, are you the only one who gets to do something stupid? You've been waiting to say that.
I know what I'm doing.
My head's clear now.
You got me out.
We'll get the key out.
You just you have to go, if that's what you wanna do.
Yeah, don't get me wrong.
Being on the astral plane's great.
Just a little over being stuck here.
Bringing magic back is the only way I see out of this.
[SNICKERS.]
Wouldn't it be funny if we made it out of this? I'd laugh pretty hard.
Look, this tweaker's worried the key's already moving on, so I gotta go be a book and get eaten by a dragon.
Yeah, I heard that one before.
I love you.
I'm sorry we're cursed.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
He's gone.
What, like, gone? Gone gone? Like Like, to the Library gone? Gone to the Underworld, gone.
So let's not fuck it up on our end.
- [INDISTINCT COUNTING.]
- [SIGHS.]
Are you sure you wanna do this? It's not exactly like everyone thinks Jonesing for blood.
Watching everyone you know die.
That is, if you don't kill them yourself.
You don't seem like the fan girls who usually come to me.
You seem smart.
Too smart to want all this.
I don't want it.
- Then why - It's none of your business.
Well, then, no.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Becoming a creature no offense is the only way I can keep my magic.
Why are you trying to talk me out of it? I'm not.
But are you so sure this'll do what you want it to? No, but I'm out of options, so will you take my money or not? [SCOFFS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- [CAR DOOR OPENS.]
- Alice, let's go.
Jesus, how did you find me? Spent some desperate times around here looking for magic.
All I found were shitty vampires.
Can we please go? No, just leave.
Continue.
Ah! [GROANS.]
Leave or I break it.
Ah! Get off me! How did you do that? Ah.
Get out.
No, I gave you my money.
Not enough to deal with hedgewitch Buffy.
Good luck.
Out! [ENGINE TURNS.]
When we said we'd explore our options, I meant research, not joining the undead.
I researched.
This is the only way.
No, it isn't.
This is reckless.
Okay.
I don't need your help, you condescending bitch.
[WHOOSHES.]
[DARK MUSIC.]
Aaaaaah! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Oh, no, Julia.
I transferred it all back.
I'm sorry.
All you did was try to help me, and I almost killed you.
Yeah, well, my magic almost killed you, so I guess we're even.
We're not, but that's nice of you to say.
Ever since Quentin dragged me back, I've just I mean, what do people in limbo do? It's excruciating.
You know, and I just thought maybe if I could just Fix it? I know the feeling.
Really.
I still see Reynard.
You do? Awake, in my dreams, yep.
Do you think maybe it's because I think it's because it happened.
And there's nothing magic about it anymore.
When things happen, they leave a mark.
Figuring out how to deal with it takes time.
I get what Quentin always saw in you.
You're brave.
Just stubborn.
I think that's why you can hold it.
All the pain, and all the shit you didn't ask for, that's what made you you.
And that's why this magic fits.
Maybe sometimes life is random and unfair.
You know, it doesn't always ask our permission.
It just is.
Honestly It still makes me sick to think that it was his.
Except that it's not his anymore, Julia.
I felt it.
It it's yours.
For whatever reason.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
So what are you gonna do with it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Fen.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Maybe you shouldn't be holding sharp objects right now.
My father was a knife maker.
This is how I've always calmed down.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
When our daughter was born, they took her away.
They wouldn't let me hold her.
I never heard her cry.
I should have known.
How could I not know? God, I was so ready to believe Fray.
I think deep down I thought If we just felt like a family, if I just willed it hard enough, then that would be real.
'Cause this How am I supposed to live with it? Oh, God.
God, oh, Fen, I'm so sorry.
You would've been um.
No, you were such a great mom.
And I was a shitty father and an even shittier husband.
You deserve so much better than this.
I'm gonna need some time.
[SNIFFLES.]
I can't be in Fillory right now.
Okay, okay.
[MURMURING.]
Hey.
Okay, dude.
Spill.
What's up? What if Penny doesn't find Benedict or the Key? Or he gets caught by a Librarian, or we do, or any part of this ridiculous plan fails? It seems like you're worrying about a lot of stuff you can't control, here.
Everything that we're doing, if we mess it up, it's not just me who suffers.
It's not just us who suffers.
We're talking about the entire multiverse.
No, it's not the multiverse.
Magic doesn't exist in this universe.
It doesn't mean it's gone in alternate realities.
- That is not the point.
- Oh, boy.
What're you doing? Short-circuiting your panic attack.
It's getting tiresome.
Okay, I'm confused.
It's sweet how much you care about your friends.
Even the ones that don't like you.
Let's just have some fun.
Seems like the chances of everyone surviving go up if we do that.
[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hmm? [HORSE NEIGHS.]
Your eggs, I take it, are fine? Yes.
What have you done with Fray? She did not want to return with me.
Her fate is her own.
Is the rest done? The bathtub now belongs to the people of Fillory.
May they be clean forever.
I'm sure they'll appreciate the gift.
While we're at it.
What was your end game anyway? The whimsical demands, forced alliances Was it all just standard "terraforming for world domination mega-villain" bullshit? [LAUGHS.]
It's a sign of your human privilege that you see things so simply.
Oh, but it is simple, Lady you made us look crazy.
And aligning with the Floaters made us look stupid.
But now everyone will understand what was really happening to us.
- Will they? - You made the deal.
Everyone can see you now.
True.
And they can see you too.
Whoa, there! Whoa, whoa! - Why are we stopping? - I don't know.
Children of Earth have been making a mess of things here for some time.
I can no longer help you.
Help us with what? - [SPLAT.]
- [BOTH GASP, YELL.]
[ANGRY CROWD COMMOTION.]
- Eliot - This is sounding a little too "Les Miz" for my liking.
- Okay, Bambi? They're armed.
- Ah! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
- Where the hell is she? - Oh, shit.
- She planned this.
- Oh, my God! Ohh Hold on! Hold on! Aah! Aah! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
I'm your Queen, you motherfuckers!
Dragonologist.
Post-graduate fellow and field researcher.
- At your service.
- You're from Brakebills? I'll go to Fillory on one condition.
That girl you saw in the dungeon we'll get her out.
Victoria.
You found me.
Look, I'm here.
No, I have to put myself back together.
I need to sign out.
You are a danger to yourself and to others.
No.
The fairies aren't just terraforming, they're growing an army.
We need a plan bigger than just assassinating the Queen.
We need Hostages, leverage.
Don't ask questions.
- Did you get the key? - I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
- I'm a terrible failure.
- Benedict, no! [SPLASH.]
They don't just make portals.
They are portals.
The key way to the Underworld.
It's magic.
I'd do anything to get it back.
If I could give it to you, I would.
I see the transfer worked.
Alice, are you okay? Alice.
Ah Alice! Okay, someone's gotta hear this, please.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
I'm sorry.
Husband problems.
The little weirdo wouldn't go to sleep until I read him a bedtime story.
That's disturbing.
Let's hustle.
Q's probably already at the tree.
Tick, how are we doing? Five minutes till the fairy guards change shifts, Your Majesties.
Now, no one knows we're gone, okay? If the Fairy Queen asks, we're bedridden with something contagious.
Like chicken pox.
Certainly, Highness.
But must you leave? Prince Fomar's people have been somewhat difficult.
- What do you mean? - It seems your union gave the Floaters the distinct impression that this land is now theirs.
They've been, well, pillaging a lot.
I-I thought perhaps a royal address You're thinking too small.
There's only one way out of all of this, Tick.
- Extortion.
- Exactly! I need you to stay strong.
We are working on it.
But we can't deal with the Floaters until we deal with the Fairies, got it? I can't believe you paid the Hudson River dragon to send you to the Underworld.
That is so cool.
Yeah, well, it was a one-off.
Can't exactly go back to her without something to trade.
Ah, I hear she's kinda withholding.
And judge-y.
Anyway, you think your ghost friend's gonna be able to help us? There's no "us.
" I'm gonna go talk to Penny alone, and you're gonna go back to whatever life you were willing to backstab me for.
Okay, I'm kinda sensing some hostility here, and Q! Oh, good.
Hey, I don't know if it was just, like, a super anxious rabbit, but your message made things seem kinda Dire? They are.
- Are those supplies? - Hostages.
- Who the fuck are you? - I'm Poppy.
I'm helping Quentin find the next key.
- No, she's not helping me.
We're - Okay, can we hit pause on the recap until we're back where our pasty usurpers won't kill us all? I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give And I'll survive I will survive Hey hey Oh, my God.
Alice? Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Alice, can you hear me? [WHIMSICAL MUSIC.]
I told you, I'm fine.
I'm not sure what definition of "fine" you're using.
I expected this, okay? My body's just getting used to Julia's magic.
There are occasional surges.
That's all this was.
I mean, was that all this was? A surge? Or more likely her body is going through the equivalent of organ transplant protection.
Attacking itself to get rid of the invader.
[CHUCKLES.]
Or maybe it's nothing at all.
Who knows? Who knows? Well, we need a better answer than that.
You wanted to do the spell.
It's all an experiment.
I have no idea what's going to happen.
Look, I prepared for this, okay? Energy-balancing spells, exercises I suppose that could work.
Your confidence is overwhelming.
What's the point of lying? [SIGHS.]
You people are just going to do what you do, regardless [WHISPERS.]
Q.
Okay, you go get the key, I got this.
No, I'm gonna stay here and help.
I don't think more is merrier here.
I don't know didn't you notice your ex is a little [RAISES VOICE.]
Stubborn.
I noticed.
Alice and I got into this together.
I'll get us out, one way or another.
And I will make sure that she's okay.
Okay? Go get the key while you still can.
We're all kinda counting on you to bring back all of magic.
So you lost your key in the Underworld and now want me to somehow go down there and get it.
Well, you're my only friend who's technically dead, so For the millionth time, dumbass, I'm not dead.
I'm an astral projection.
No offense, but your corpse is ash, so I think maybe you might be in a little bit of denial.
I mean, look, weren't you supposed to report to the Underworld branch of the Library anyway? Yeah.
And I burned my body to avoid that.
Look, if we do not get to the Underworld before Benedict moves on whatever that means then we will have no idea where the key goes.
That's not my problem.
No magic is everyone's problem.
Do you think that I like begging for help? Especially to you? I wouldn't even do it, except that I know that you occasionally stop being a dick when the fate of the world is at stake.
Fine.
I'll help.
But it's not like I can just Travel to the Underworld.
So we need a gatekeeper.
A dragon, like Jules and I used.
What about the Library's dragon? Sorry, couldn't help but overhear.
At least one side of the convo, anyway.
- The Library has a dragon? - Mm-hmm.
A brindle-coat Albanian pygmy.
They call it the Bookwyrm.
I read about it during dissertation research.
I assume it's real.
Ask your invisible friend.
Yeah, apparently.
I hear they use it to send books to and from the Underworld.
'Cause dragons are portals, right? Yeah, exact ha the Bookwyrm's too small to send a full-size person down there.
Well, what if the person was a book? Well, you said you can project into objects, right? Yeah, I did did say that, didn't I? - Jesus Christ.
- Okay, so this might work.
Except, say, I get the key and send it back up it's stuck in the Satellite Library, which is on another planet, so So, we need another Traveler.
- Um.
- Oh.
I only know one.
And she got grabbed by the Beast in Fillory.
[SIGHS.]
Victoria, she was in my class.
Wait a minute, you know Victoria? Of course you know her, you um Wait, wait.
She's not dead? No, I mean, we saved her and she sorta took off.
I have no idea where she is.
If she's on Earth, I can find her.
On one condition I wanna come.
I've never seen an Albanian pygmy dragon before.
This could be my only shot.
- All right, fine.
- [WHISPERS.]
Oh, yes! This doesn't make us friends, you know.
[ICE CLINKS IN GLASS.]
Discover anything useful for Alice? Um, yeah, actually, there's some pretty interesting stuff on combining immunosuppressants with a crystal-based healing ritual.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Not long ago, you wanted magic so badly you fought through a memory wipe.
And now It's complicated.
Uh and personal.
Fine, I'll file it under "entitled Millennial bullshit.
" Let's be frank, Ms.
Wicker.
Whatever you and Alice are doing, it won't work.
You don't know that.
I know a lot more than you.
You're drunk, and you're mean.
And I'm right.
Look, for whatever reason, what you had fits you.
It doesn't fit Alice.
If she keeps it, she'll die.
- So what do I do? - Take it back.
Maybe you don't want it, but I think you'd prefer it than to have Alice's blood on your hands.
You need magic to initiate the transfer of magic.
Alice has it all.
She'll never do it.
Well, fine.
Go get some.
Oh, sure, I'll just pop over to the store.
Actually, I think I may know someone who may be of assistance.
But given their naked opportunism, I can't imagine it'll come free.
What if the Fairy Queen doesn't buy our "sick day"? Tick's a crafty son of a bitch.
- He's got us covered.
- Okay.
- Eliot.
- Hey, guys.
We had the most wonderful adventure.
We went to the Square of Time, where no one sleeps.
And it's always light.
A man urinated next to me.
Then we saw bards performing on your famous Broad Way.
You call it "Cats," but it's just humans in cat greasepaint.
And we tried a delicacy called pizza at an eatery that was "Family Style.
" Well, I am so glad that you two had some bonding time.
Hi, Todd.
Hi, Dad Eliot.
Uh, Fray, did you enjoy anything at all? Earth? Or the Square of Time? I do want you to like things, you know.
I can tell you want to be a good father.
It's sort of sweet.
I think I might grow to despise you less.
- With time.
- Oh.
Let's go with that.
Not to interrupt this Hallmark moment, but Todd, you got a sec? Yeah.
Wait, fairies are real? - Mm-hmm.
- I thought Fray was just nuts.
I mean, she is, but yeah, they're real and they're raging dicks, so I'm gonna need you to keep an eye on these.
Is someone going to come looking for your weird eggs? Just make sure Fray doesn't see 'em, and if you don't hear from me by tomorrow night, I've got another job for you.
Oh! Thank gods you're back.
What's with the feathers? I had to make your "chicken pox" convincing - to the Fairy Queen.
- Mmm Okay.
As long as she bought it.
Everyone in the castle did.
Even Prince Fomar and the Stone Queen headed back to their mountain/island.
The Fairy Queen has no idea you were gone.
Well, that's good news, right? So what's with the face? [OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[FLIES BUZZING.]
Well, this just took a dark turn.
In exchange for my babies, you want my bathtub? You collect toes and eyeballs, and you think that's weird? You'll pardon me, but I'm a bit taken aback by this sudden curious act of extortion.
Funny, we were taken aback by the Floaters on spikes on the side of the road.
We thought you'd be alarmed by that too, given you forced us into that alliance.
So what's it gonna be? Your bathtub? Or do we start making fairy and goat cheese omelets? It's a strange deal.
Even for me.
Right.
I should be more specific.
You're giving your bathtub to the entire population of Fillory.
We're gonna make a fondue fountain out of it.
It'll be fun.
And since I'll have a deal with all Fillorians, everyone will then be able to see us.
I suppose you're right.
No more shadow-puppeting.
Just straight-up puppeting, from now on.
Or hey, you could leave.
There is another option, you know.
I find my children, and then You have till tomorrow.
So have fun on the little egg hunt, 'cause if you don't make this deal, we're about to boil and dye 'em like it's motherfucking Easter around here.
I don't know what that means.
So, if I understand you correctly, you had magic before, and you lied to me about it.
Now you don't have magic and you've come to me why, exactly? Because I need your help.
Well, why should I trust you now? You've already lied to me once.
She's lied to me several times too.
So at least you know it's not personal.
Like it wasn't personal when you swooped in and bought my school, without so much as texting me first.
Henry, trust me, better me than them.
- Them.
- Anyone but me.
[SIGHS.]
And don't think the rest of the board wasn't considering it.
You said that your family has reserves of magic Limited reserves.
I just need a little bit.
I gave what I had to a friend.
- Why the hell would you do that? - But it is killing her.
So without your help, she will die and so will the magic.
All right.
Tell me about this Voltaic Transfer you performed.
Oh, shit.
Margo's gonna kill me.
You knew about this? I thought I was very clear about not looking in the cubbyhole.
You were.
That's why I looked.
Fray, what are those? Fairy eggs.
That Father and Margo took.
- You don't know that.
- Just when I was starting to think humans aren't all bad, they steal babies? The Fairy Queen stole you from us.
- No, you bargained me away.
- I did no such thing.
It was a fair deal.
This is kidnapping.
Unlike you, we have honor.
You're not a fairy, Fray.
Do you honestly believe the Queen will ever see you as anything but a human? Because she won't.
That's not true.
Um, didn't you say she named you Frail Human? That's pretty cold.
Humans are complicated.
Sometimes good people can make bad decisions.
Yeah, like, I once donated a kidney to this girl I really liked.
Only, it turned out she didn't actually need it for a transplant.
No matter what you think, I know who you truly are.
My daughter, and Eliot's.
And You just need to trust he did this for a very good reason.
Family is about loyalty, my love.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Fuck you! [SIGHS.]
Thought you said Victoria was your best friend.
She slept with Josh.
On our Fillorian spring break.
While he and I were still dating.
Are you really still upset about Josh? Can't we move past that? I mean, we were like sisters.
Yeah, do you not get that that only makes it more fucked up? Sorry, could we just focus for a second? It's just kind of important.
Look, even if magic was back, and these tattoos worked, I still wouldn't help you.
'Cause I don't trust you.
Okay, will you just hold on to this for a second? Victoria, be real with me.
You owe me that.
I know.
It's just not that simple, okay? I work with this group now, and I can't just Group? Yeah, it's kind of about freedom of information.
So believe me, we have no problem dicking over the Library.
It's just we got something going on.
Wait, is your boss, um is she like 40-something, hot, mostly rolls in ASL? Okay, so, if you know this Harriett person, can can you get her to help? Uh, she doesn't exactly - like me.
- Great.
So Victoria hates Poppy.
Harriet hates you.
So it makes perfect sense.
Some people are just so emotional.
Harriet does like Kady, though.
Okay, great, then let's talk to Kady.
Where is she? [FOREBODING MUSIC.]
Shit.
Kady.
All right, I can help you.
But you'll owe me a favor.
Uh, what's the favor? - To be determined.
- [SNICKERS.]
- Trust her.
- What could go wrong? Oh, Henry, don't be angry at me.
It was buy the place or let the Hewitts liquidate everything on eBay and turn this place into a an amusement park.
At least I care.
You care about something.
Do we have a deal? Is that cocaine? It's the excretion of a very rare magical creature.
But yes, you will have to snort it.
I'm sorry, what creature? I thought you had batteries.
Look, you asked me for my help.
This is what I have to offer.
Okay, Kady is in the High Risk Ward, down the hallway over here.
The ward is locked.
So is Kady's room.
And there's a guard station at the entrance right here.
Okay.
Those squiggles are guards? Yeah, see? Little guard hats.
Gotcha.
So, how are we gonna get in past all the security? We're not.
They are gonna bring her to us.
By law, if they wanna hold her involuntarily - for more than 15 days - They have to bring in outside doctors to certify she's crazy.
Yeah, and, uh, we will be those doctors.
They'll buy that? I mean, won't they check credentials and shit? No, it's like a state hospital.
Yeah, their computer systems are older than we are.
By the time they find anything on us, we'll be long gone.
Good thinking.
Should I be concerned that you both know so much about this? Mm There was a "crazy" time.
Okay, whatever, uh But it's not like you two can just walk out of there with a patient.
No, but Kady can walk herself out if she has a security badge.
And what, she's supposed to steal one of those off a guard? No, I will.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Here we are.
Kady, this is Dr.
London, and I'm sorry, Dr.
Kline.
Midtown Mental Health Clinic.
Which is where we work.
Yes.
We're here to do an evaluation.
Great.
Mind if I sit in? No, not at all.
Please do.
Okay, um, so, Kady, um Dr.
Walton here tells us that you've been suffering from delusions, and that you've been talking to someone named, uh Penny? Oh, um, yeah.
Don't look at me.
Stay cool.
We're breaking you out of here.
Kady, can you tell us about Penny? Yeah, uh, yeah, he was a my ex.
But I-I don't see him anymore.
Quentin's gonna hand you a security badge.
It'll get you out of the ward.
When you're on break, in the day room, use it to sneak out.
We'll be waiting.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Oh, someone has lost their badge.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[WHISPERS.]
Great.
What now? What if she doesn't take the deal? Then what do we do? Or, no What if she takes the deal, and then it's all-out war? Stop it.
It's going to be fine.
We could cut our losses.
We could head back to Earth and regroup.
We could finish the quest, restore magic, and then maybe revisit this when we stand a fighting chance.
You and I both sacrificed a lot for Fillory.
And now we're supposed to just hand over the kingdom to the albino supermodel? Bitch took my eye.
Hey, I don't wanna leave.
But what if we're making things worse? [OMINOUS MUSIC.]
There wasn't a blood test to tell me to be High Queen.
I chose it.
And I have had to fight for every shred of authority.
And no offense, but you can't understand, because it was handed to you.
And now I'm supposed to abandon my kingdom? Those fairy bitches wanna come for my crown, well I'll shove it up their fucking eggholes.
Well, that raises some anatomical questions, but I'm on board.
[CLINK.]
Maybe try the key.
- What? - Well, I don't know.
Like, wave it around or something.
Maybe a keyhole will appear in the wall.
This is stupid.
[SIGHS.]
And I feel sick.
Why are you here anyway? We already stuck a fork in this, Penny.
- We're helping you.
- All of a sudden? After I was such a ray of sunshine to you last time.
We need you to talk to Harriet.
We need her help getting the next key, so we can bring magic back.
All right.
And where's the next key? In the Underworld.
I'm the only one who can get it, Kady.
You're doing it again, aren't you? Throwing your life at a problem to solve it.
I'm tired, Penny.
What couple deals with this kinda shit on a regular basis? I thought we weren't a couple.
That's not funny.
It's a little funny.
Hey, yell at me.
I don't want to.
I am tired of yelling.
Yell at me.
I'm getting you out of this room.
Come on! Aah! Aah! Aah! [CLATTERING.]
Okay, Kady.
Hand over the contraband.
What's up? Uhh Go, team.
Alice, what're you doing here? What are you? I thought you were in a psych ward.
I was.
Now I'm the sanest woman in America.
Thanks to the 14 pills I took this morning.
[LAUGHS.]
I actually can't really feel anything.
[WHISPERS.]
It's fantastic.
If I didn't know better, I would say that you were just trying to cast an intermediate unlocking charm.
That would mean that I have magic, which we both know is impossible.
Right.
Hmm.
Well, don't bother.
I already looted the place.
Brakebills may be closed.
Black market's not.
Gotta make a living.
You, uh, looking for something special? Some Boswellia.
Bloodstone, steroids.
Fuck me.
So you do have magic.
What do you know about transplants? I know you'd have to be desperate to try something that stupid.
Well, who am I to judge? [CHUCKLES.]
I almost blew a werewolf so he'd turn me.
Magical creatures they can hang on to their magic just fine, so Please if you have anything that can help me Well, Boswellia and Bloodstone are total bullshit.
But, uh, steroids might help a little.
[BOTTLES CLATTERING.]
It's more of a Band-Aid than a cure, but It says take two.
You should take eight.
- Thank you.
- We're all screwed anyway.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, hmm? [BEEP.]
- Dr.
Bailey, you're needed at nurse's station 204.
- Dr.
Bailey - Nurse coming.
Shh! I know you don't wanna talk right now.
- I sure don't.
- Yeah, yeah, hate me later.
I'm going to the Underworld, Kady, give me this.
You're the best thing in my life.
Short life, granted, but I want you to know I don't regret a fucking second.
Well, you should.
It's crazy we lived this long.
We met.
We had great sex.
I got to know you.
I'm lucky.
What's your point? Don't be mad too long.
I want you to be happy.
Jesus Christ.
I can't be.
Without you, you fucking idiot.
But isn't that just adult life? Accepting your own misery.
[BEEP.]
- Code Green, Shit.
I guess they found my room.
Come on.
We need a new plan.
We can't just leave Kady and the key locked up in there I know, I know.
Quit being so twitchy.
You look suspicious.
No, I'm not.
You're suspicious.
[ALARM BLARES.]
Attention, this is a Code Green.
- Everyone stay in their room.
- Oh, shit.
Lockdown.
And stay calm.
We are on lockdown.
We're gonna have to help her Attention, this is a Code Green.
You sure this is gonna work? It's fire safety protocol.
How do you not know that? [FIRE ALARM BLARING.]
Attention, please proceed to the nearest fire exit and evacuate immediately.
See? Works every time.
How many times have you done this? And evacuate immediately.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Keep it moving! [FIRE ALARM RINGING.]
I told you we'd figure it out.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Oh, shit.
[GROANS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Come on, let's go.
Well.
Alice is gone.
Might be time to use this.
To cast a locator spell.
[SNIFFS.]
Ugh.
Reminds me of the old days.
[CHUCKLES.]
I don't wanna know.
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
This magic it looks different.
It feels different.
If it's working, let's not split hairs.
Find her.
Wait a minute.
What's Alice doing there? I'm blind.
Are you going to tell me? Eliot, Fray found the eggs.
She was upset and tried to take them.
I stopped her, but she ran away and we can't find her.
This is not good.
And real bad timing, El.
Yeah, Fen, we are about to have a delicate negotiation, and while I am worried about our daughter, we need to put a pin in it.
There's nothing we can do about it right now.
- Perhaps I can help.
- Oh, Fray.
We've been having quite a talk.
Eggs and portals and quests.
So much going on I didn't know about.
We really should discuss.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
Crap.
Fray? How could you? Like you said, family loyalty.
I've considered your offer.
And I propose a counter.
Don't hurt my children.
I won't hurt yours.
Wait.
What? [GASPS.]
- No.
- Don't you touch her.
But my Queen Let's just all calm down and talk about this, okay? - No one needs to get hurt.
- I agree.
I I helped you.
I Yes.
You're a perfect specimen of human duplicity.
Betrayed your own parents.
Why would I ever trust you? I just found the eggs and couldn't believe they would I just wanted all this to stop.
So let's stop this.
We gotta give her the eggs.
There's gotta be another way.
That's our only leverage.
I know, but she's my daughter.
We have a whole country to think about.
I can't be the dad that turns his back on his kid.
I'm not your daughter.
I'm just a human who - What're you saying? - What? Explain.
Now or it's poached eggs tonight.
Fray isn't yours.
Your real daughter died during childbirth.
She died? Oh, gods, I Oh, no.
Oh, no.
That is the sound of your leverage dying.
You'd better shake on this deal while you still can.
No, no way.
- Please.
- No.
I'm asking for this favor.
[MOUTHING.]
Okay, okay, look.
Look, I'm I am grateful for everything you did for me.
For Penny.
So how about this? What if [MELLOW ROCK IN BACKGROUND.]
Then we both get what we want.
So we're gonna rob the Library? - Oh, awesome.
- No, not awesome.
Stupid.
It is hard enough to sneak one person in there.
How the hell are they gonna get the whole group in? It's the dumbest plan I've ever [GROANS.]
Uhh Uh, Penny's got some notes.
You said you wanted to do this.
You don't know the defenses this place has.
I don't wanna see you get hurt.
Oh, are you the only one who gets to do something stupid? You've been waiting to say that.
I know what I'm doing.
My head's clear now.
You got me out.
We'll get the key out.
You just you have to go, if that's what you wanna do.
Yeah, don't get me wrong.
Being on the astral plane's great.
Just a little over being stuck here.
Bringing magic back is the only way I see out of this.
[SNICKERS.]
Wouldn't it be funny if we made it out of this? I'd laugh pretty hard.
Look, this tweaker's worried the key's already moving on, so I gotta go be a book and get eaten by a dragon.
Yeah, I heard that one before.
I love you.
I'm sorry we're cursed.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
He's gone.
What, like, gone? Gone gone? Like Like, to the Library gone? Gone to the Underworld, gone.
So let's not fuck it up on our end.
- [INDISTINCT COUNTING.]
- [SIGHS.]
Are you sure you wanna do this? It's not exactly like everyone thinks Jonesing for blood.
Watching everyone you know die.
That is, if you don't kill them yourself.
You don't seem like the fan girls who usually come to me.
You seem smart.
Too smart to want all this.
I don't want it.
- Then why - It's none of your business.
Well, then, no.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Becoming a creature no offense is the only way I can keep my magic.
Why are you trying to talk me out of it? I'm not.
But are you so sure this'll do what you want it to? No, but I'm out of options, so will you take my money or not? [SCOFFS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- [CAR DOOR OPENS.]
- Alice, let's go.
Jesus, how did you find me? Spent some desperate times around here looking for magic.
All I found were shitty vampires.
Can we please go? No, just leave.
Continue.
Ah! [GROANS.]
Leave or I break it.
Ah! Get off me! How did you do that? Ah.
Get out.
No, I gave you my money.
Not enough to deal with hedgewitch Buffy.
Good luck.
Out! [ENGINE TURNS.]
When we said we'd explore our options, I meant research, not joining the undead.
I researched.
This is the only way.
No, it isn't.
This is reckless.
Okay.
I don't need your help, you condescending bitch.
[WHOOSHES.]
[DARK MUSIC.]
Aaaaaah! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
Oh, no, Julia.
I transferred it all back.
I'm sorry.
All you did was try to help me, and I almost killed you.
Yeah, well, my magic almost killed you, so I guess we're even.
We're not, but that's nice of you to say.
Ever since Quentin dragged me back, I've just I mean, what do people in limbo do? It's excruciating.
You know, and I just thought maybe if I could just Fix it? I know the feeling.
Really.
I still see Reynard.
You do? Awake, in my dreams, yep.
Do you think maybe it's because I think it's because it happened.
And there's nothing magic about it anymore.
When things happen, they leave a mark.
Figuring out how to deal with it takes time.
I get what Quentin always saw in you.
You're brave.
Just stubborn.
I think that's why you can hold it.
All the pain, and all the shit you didn't ask for, that's what made you you.
And that's why this magic fits.
Maybe sometimes life is random and unfair.
You know, it doesn't always ask our permission.
It just is.
Honestly It still makes me sick to think that it was his.
Except that it's not his anymore, Julia.
I felt it.
It it's yours.
For whatever reason.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
So what are you gonna do with it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Fen.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Maybe you shouldn't be holding sharp objects right now.
My father was a knife maker.
This is how I've always calmed down.
[SOLEMN MUSIC.]
When our daughter was born, they took her away.
They wouldn't let me hold her.
I never heard her cry.
I should have known.
How could I not know? God, I was so ready to believe Fray.
I think deep down I thought If we just felt like a family, if I just willed it hard enough, then that would be real.
'Cause this How am I supposed to live with it? Oh, God.
God, oh, Fen, I'm so sorry.
You would've been um.
No, you were such a great mom.
And I was a shitty father and an even shittier husband.
You deserve so much better than this.
I'm gonna need some time.
[SNIFFLES.]
I can't be in Fillory right now.
Okay, okay.
[MURMURING.]
Hey.
Okay, dude.
Spill.
What's up? What if Penny doesn't find Benedict or the Key? Or he gets caught by a Librarian, or we do, or any part of this ridiculous plan fails? It seems like you're worrying about a lot of stuff you can't control, here.
Everything that we're doing, if we mess it up, it's not just me who suffers.
It's not just us who suffers.
We're talking about the entire multiverse.
No, it's not the multiverse.
Magic doesn't exist in this universe.
It doesn't mean it's gone in alternate realities.
- That is not the point.
- Oh, boy.
What're you doing? Short-circuiting your panic attack.
It's getting tiresome.
Okay, I'm confused.
It's sweet how much you care about your friends.
Even the ones that don't like you.
Let's just have some fun.
Seems like the chances of everyone surviving go up if we do that.
[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
Hmm? [HORSE NEIGHS.]
Your eggs, I take it, are fine? Yes.
What have you done with Fray? She did not want to return with me.
Her fate is her own.
Is the rest done? The bathtub now belongs to the people of Fillory.
May they be clean forever.
I'm sure they'll appreciate the gift.
While we're at it.
What was your end game anyway? The whimsical demands, forced alliances Was it all just standard "terraforming for world domination mega-villain" bullshit? [LAUGHS.]
It's a sign of your human privilege that you see things so simply.
Oh, but it is simple, Lady you made us look crazy.
And aligning with the Floaters made us look stupid.
But now everyone will understand what was really happening to us.
- Will they? - You made the deal.
Everyone can see you now.
True.
And they can see you too.
Whoa, there! Whoa, whoa! - Why are we stopping? - I don't know.
Children of Earth have been making a mess of things here for some time.
I can no longer help you.
Help us with what? - [SPLAT.]
- [BOTH GASP, YELL.]
[ANGRY CROWD COMMOTION.]
- Eliot - This is sounding a little too "Les Miz" for my liking.
- Okay, Bambi? They're armed.
- Ah! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
- Where the hell is she? - Oh, shit.
- She planned this.
- Oh, my God! Ohh Hold on! Hold on! Aah! Aah! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
I'm your Queen, you motherfuckers!