Thirtysomething (1987) s03e07 Episode Script
Pilgrims
1 [theme.]
[busy signal tone.]
[busy signal tone.]
[sighs.]
We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing Sweetie, what is this in your hair? Ethan.
Ethan, oh.
Ethan, I am confiscating that liquid string as of immediately.
Is that clear? Come on, your maize.
Don't forget your maize.
[Ethan.]
Mom.
I am not kidding about that string.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Hey, I thought you weren't coming till this evening.
I woke up early.
I tried to call.
Is this a bad time? Yeah I mean it's just crazy.
I got to take Britty to school, I got to stop at the publish, and I have to be at work by 10:00.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You're hungry, right? - No, not really.
I'm gonna get some stuff out of the car.
Hey, maybe I'll have a little scrambled Ethan while I'm at it, huh? I'll be right back.
You want to help me out, pal? Why don't you help your daddy, sweetie? I have to talk to you, Mom.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
Hey, Nance, why don't I take her to school? Oh, that'd be great.
What's it like out? She needs a jacket, right? Yeah, probably.
I'll right back, though.
Ethan.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I didn't see you standing there.
- Mom.
- Hmm.
- Mom.
- What? I don't think I feel that good.
Really, why? What's wrong? My glands are swollen.
Oh, no.
Let me see.
I don't feel anything.
Don't have a fever.
He's faking.
Hey, you shut up.
You want to be dead? Okay, okay, the two of you, just give it a break, okay? Okay, fine, don't believe me.
Ethan.
I didn't say I didn't believe you.
You're gonna need to wear a coat, too.
It's okay, I will.
Come here, pumpkin.
- Here you go, sweetie.
- It's just that good kind of cold out there.
You know, that neat little snap in November.
This week right here.
This is my particular favorite week.
Hold on, sweetie, I'm almost through.
And you know what I'm gonna do this weekend? - No, what? - I'm gonna rake leaves.
The whole neighborhood.
Me and Eth, we're gonna earn a few bucks.
Right, Eth? - Hey, Ethan.
- Hey, Nicholas.
Hi.
I'm Ethan's dad.
Oh, you live here now? Want your daddy to take you to school? It's all right, Nancy we'll walk.
Come on.
Bye.
"Nancy"? Well, we're out of here.
Come on, Britty.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Have a nice day.
Okay.
And make lots of money.
All right.
- See you.
- Bye.
Bye, Mommy.
Come on, guys, come on.
Okay, Gordon, tell Weston about it.
It was my street.
The robbers, they got a house right next Shannon Moskowitz.
- Shannon Moskowitz? - What happened? It was bad.
They got the Life Cycle, the food, money, and a Nintendo.
They got the Nintendo? They found a cat, Eth, dead, its guts on the ground.
- My Dad saw the guts.
- Cool.
[girls.]
We gather together To ask the Lord's blessing He chastens and hastens Total rejects.
- Oh, Mom, look.
- What? The indentations where the TV used to be.
Your father watched all the games.
Right, and I'd bring him popcorn.
Deb, would bring him a beer.
And Susan would bring him the sandwich.
Bologna and cheese [both.]
On toast with a little French's mustard.
You brought us up to serve, Mom.
Thanks a lot.
We got to eat because I got to get back to work.
You don't have to go to all this trouble.
What trouble? I wanted to see you.
Oh, let me give you a couple of dollars.
Mom, it's my treat.
I got you chicken salad.
Mmm, I love chicken salad.
Mom, Thursday It's Thanksgiving Thursday, and you were planning to come to our house, right? Well, I don't know.
You want to do it here? - Mom.
- What? We're gonna have dinner at our house.
Whatever.
What should I bring? Why don't you bring those cinnamon rolls that Elliot loves? That'd be great.
Mom.
What? You're coming to our house, right? Of course I'm coming.
No, I want you to want to come to our house.
I do want to.
I hope so.
You do this? Yeah, me and Britty.
Oh, it's pretty.
What? The table.
He usually sets it.
Oh, I'm sorry, pal.
- You want me to unset it? - It's okay, Dad.
You're sure? I don't want to take your job away.
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
[Ethan.]
Give it back.
Ethan! Don't touch me.
- Give it back, stupid.
- Mommy! Whoa, whoa, what's going on? - What's going on? - She took my MAD magazine.
Look, I don't care.
You don't hit your sister, young man.
She ripped out Spy vs.
Spy.
I don't care what she ripped out.
Mom, make her give it back.
Okay, hold on.
Time out.
We're taking a little break here.
Why do I have to take a break? She ripped out Spy vs.
Spy.
Ethan, you heard what your father said.
Why don't you ever listen to me? Nobody listens to me.
Nobody! [door slams.]
Hey, Eth, you holding down the fort? Yeah.
What? I can't hear you.
Yes, I'm holding down the fort.
Hey, you want to play some ball? In a minute.
[Michael.]
Come on.
Elliot.
So he's back, huh? He's back.
Mine came back once.
We went to Disney World.
Cool.
[Nancy.]
Little roses.
It's all part of the pounds.
[Hope.]
That's pretty.
I like that blue.
Hey, Eth, you watching the girls? I'm watching them.
[Elliot in distance.]
He's got the ball! He's going over the You guys seem good.
I mean, you know? The kids seem good.
Oh, I hope they are.
I am.
I think Elliot is.
Oh, in the end zone.
Does this mean I have to find a new way of looking at him? I was just getting comfortable with the judgmental bitch approach.
[chattering.]
Right now, this is what I've missed the most.
Just all of us.
- Whee! - He's down.
- Whee.
- Hey, Janey, come here.
Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? I don't know.
[chattering.]
[floor creaks.]
[police sirens in distance.]
Freeze, you're dead.
[mimics gun shot.]
Uh, sorry I'm late.
And a Happy Thanksgiving from Miles Drentell.
You know, for a guy who barely shows up on the moral matrix as we know it.
I know, he makes a bigmegillah over Thanksgiving.
So? So is it weird? - What? - Being back.
Well, it's not weird, which is weird that it's not.
Right.
So what is it, then? Other than not weird.
Hi.
What's wrong? Nothing.
I had to stop down at the publisher, so I thought I'd stop and say hi.
- Oh, so hi.
- Hi.
I like that.
Nancy, I got to get a cup of coffee.
You want some? Oh yeah, thanks.
With a little milk.
And don't spit in it this time.
You look great.
I do? Thanks.
Want to have sex in the conference room? Elliot, I have to talk to you about something.
Okay.
- About Thanksgiving.
- Okay.
- Well, I just thought with my mom being here.
- Right, right.
And Hope and Michael do it every year.
They never let you forget it.
Yeah, and with things, you know.
Right.
Well, I just thought it would be nice for the kids and for us.
I mean for all of us.
What do you think? Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Hope said we're going to your house.
Right, right, that's Yeah, right.
You did, didn't you? Now, see if you can remember what I've got in my hand.
Okay.
Want that 3 of hearts? I want that 3 of hearts.
Good.
And I want that jack of hearts.
Okay, let's see what I got here.
- Grandma.
- What, honey? What was Grandpa like? You don't remember him, do you? That's too bad.
Do you like him? Of course I liked him very much.
Did he ever go away? What do you mean? Did he ever go away from you? Once he did, yes.
But he came back.
Did he stay? He stayed.
Yes.
Grandma, can I get some more popcorn? Sure.
So would you ever do it again? What are you Do what again? Where is Hope? Hope? Wait, wait, wait, Mike.
"Dear Michael, "I have decided to move to Vancouver with Janey.
"Please don't try to find us.
Have a nice Thanksgiving.
Love, Hope.
" She's at our house.
She wants you to ball the socks.
So you haven't answered my questions.
You don't have any candy corn or like little marshmallows or anything, do you? What? That's a logical question.
Those are holiday-themed food products.
Elliot, my I want you to answer my question.
Would you ever do it again? You know it.
What, like a Sheryl Eastman it? I mean is that the kind of it you mean? Yeah, that's it.
What kind of stupid question is that? Well, I don't know.
It's Thanksgiving.
I figure this is a good time to bare our souls and grovel for forgiveness from our moral superiors.
I've already groveled.
Come on, let's eat this.
- No, Elliot.
- Oh, come on.
No, no, it's sundown.
Come on, let the official pig-a-thon begin right now.
Just a sliver, though, all right? - All right, a sliver.
- Sliver, okay.
- So.
- So.
Would I ever do it again? No and it's weird because I still look at people.
Female people, like that new girl in accounting.
- I look at her sometimes.
- Yeah, me, too.
[both.]
Ooh.
You know, I don't know what it is.
I mean, it's like it's not fear or guilt or any of that stuff that's holding me back.
It's It's like It's like I see my family for the first time as as us, you know? I mean Nancy and kids as us.
When it used to just be, you know, me and them, you know? Right.
So, um, what is that new girl's name in accounting anyway? I don't know.
Really? Carlotta.
Carlotta, Carlotta, yeah.
Charlotte.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Oh, man.
This is unbelievable.
We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing He chastens and hastens, his will You know, is it really possible to hasten and chasten at the same time? I never really bought that part.
Well, don't ask questions.
You know, he's a busy guy, God.
And the holidays happen to be his busiest season.
[all.]
And forgets not his own Oh, come on.
Hey, Ethan.
Hey, Eth, how's your grandma? - Fine.
- Good.
Ethan, what do you think? Thought I heard another male voice in here.
I was starting to feel a little bit outnumbered.
Hey, no, no.
Those are for Thursday.
Come on, pal, we're out of here.
Come on, Eth, your dad is gonna help you with your reading, okay? Okay.
Ah, his teacher says he's slipping.
Well, he's obviously very smart, Nance.
Oh, I know.
It's just that he's obsessed with these robberies.
I mean, it's all he and the other boys can talk about.
Yeah, there was another one two days ago.
Did you see the police sketch? It was like one of my video dates.
Hey, buddy.
Okay, let's see here.
All right, how about ThePilgrims? "So the pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock.
Plymouth Bay was filled with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
" Wait a second.
Huh, must be the wrong book.
Okay, here's one.
How about this? Pocahontas.
"Hello, said Pocahontas the Indian.
Then she cut one.
" Wait a minute.
How did that get in there? I don't know.
I don't know, either.
Wait, okay, here we go.
Hey, sure you don't want to sit up here with me, pal? Okay, all right, that's cool.
We'll be down here.
This is better anyway.
All right, put the cars down.
Sit down right here.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna read a sentence, then you're gonna read a sentence, okay? - Let me guess.
- Okay, good.
"And so the pilgrims came to a new world.
" Okay, your turn, come on.
"They were very brave because they had to leave Behind.
"They had to leave behind - "The world they knew" - That's good.
That's really good.
That's really good.
My turn.
"They were sailing to a new place where there might be unknown dangers.
" - Okay, your turn.
- I don't want to.
Come on, Eth, you're doing great.
I don't want to.
Look, Eth, you love to read.
You're a good reader.
- I'm not.
- Sure you are.
Come on, honey, you can do this.
I'm not.
I'm dumb.
I think he's tired.
You know, he looks tired.
He hasn't been sleeping.
I don't think so.
[whistles.]
Where do you think you're going, huh? I haven't decided, yet.
- Ow.
- What? Oh, no, I must have left a pin in her hat.
I'm sorry.
A pin? You want me to get you a little Band-Aid with stars on it? Okay.
Why don't we go inside where it's a little safer? Ooh, poor baby.
[giggles.]
[Nancy.]
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
He's asleep.
Come on.
[laughter, chatter.]
[police sirens wail.]
[sirens continue wailing.]
[sirens increase in volume.]
[rapping.]
We gather together To ask the Lord's blessing He hastens and chastens, his will to make known The wicked oppressin' now cease from distressin' imitating record being scratched [knocking at door.]
There's a thump, A knock, at my front door I better answer it before they get cold Eleanor.
Elliot.
Bundt pan.
What? I'm helping Nancy with Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh, of course.
Never go anywhere without your Bundt pan.
No, I don't.
I was just getting the kids ready for school.
Great.
[Nancy.]
Okay, sit up.
Let me get your jacket.
It's cold.
There you go.
- [Brittany.]
Hi, Grandma.
- Hi, honey.
Ethan, you going to get ready for school or what? He says he doesn't feel well.
[both.]
Normal.
Ah, you'll feel better.
Come on, let's go.
I got to get to work.
- Let's go.
- I don't feel good.
I know, but you were out last week.
I can't sleep.
School will make you feel better.
I can't sleep at all.
Come on, Eth, tough it out.
It's only half a day.
Forget it.
Well, it is just half a day.
I know, and it's the day before Thanksgiving, and half the kids won't be there anyway.
I don't feel good.
- No, forget it.
- Absolutely not.
It's only half a day, and then you're going to have a long vacation.
Mommy's right.
Come on, pilgrim.
Mm, let me get a kiss.
Bye-bye, sweetie.
Okay.
Eth, you're going to feel better, right? I'll try, Dad.
Okay.
See you later, hon.
- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye, Mommy.
[imitates gunshot.]
Aah! [imitates machine gun.]
Hi.
Hey.
When are they going to get here? I don't know.
Ten minutes.
What are you doing? I'm going to steal these things, I swear to God I am.
Ethan would love them.
It's true.
You never know when you need firepower.
I like to have stuff for him when he comes around.
This is good for him.
Build character, make a man out of him.
You wouldn't know anything about that.
Ooh.
You'll get another chance.
Don't worry.
I know, but you can't think like that.
What if you have a girl and she finds out, and she hates you and ends up working in arbitrage? It's cool having a son, though, isn't it? It's really cool.
It's like you can let him be the guy you weren't allowed to be as a kid.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah.
So they're looting your neighborhood.
You better take that home.
You never know if you might need it.
Seriously, you worried about it? Come on, they're only robbing houses during the day when nobody's home.
Mikey, look out! Get down! [imitates machine gun fire.]
Mikey! - Gentlemen.
- Hi.
"Robberies continue.
Police try to trace M.
O.
" What's M.
O.
? M stands for murder, and I forgot what the O is.
I got to eat lunch.
Yeah, pizza.
Nicky? Yeah, I'm in.
Hi.
Here, this is for you.
It's a video Lady and the Tramp.
My dad has the VCR.
Hey, Nicker.
- Dad.
- Hey, buddy.
How you doing? This is my friend Diane.
He's very handsome, Paul.
This is Ethan, Dad.
Hi, Ethan.
Nicky, look, I can't come get you tomorrow.
It's okay, Dad.
Next week, okay? I swear to you.
Where's the powder room? The what? We'll go to a movie or something, all right? I swear to you, okay? What are you doing here? What do you mean, what am I doing here? You got him tomorrow for Thanksgiving.
I can't tomorrow.
Okay, fine.
Good.
I'm here now, right? Am I here or not? There's no toilet paper.
Go to the car.
I said go to the car.
Just wonderful.
We'll talk about this later.
Great.
Incidentally, the house is a damn pigsty, Susan.
You bring her here? It's my house.
I'm calling Katz.
Call him.
Go on.
- Call him.
- I will.
Call him! Mom, I'll make us some pizza, okay? [Susan.]
Why don't you and your friend [Nicholas.]
We'll be together, Mom.
stick around and make yourselves at home? - Hey, Eth.
- Hi.
Did you have fun with Nicholas? - Yeah.
- [door slams shut.]
Going out tonight? Yeah, we are, to dinner.
That'll be nice for the kids.
No, just us me and Elliot.
No, no, Mom, I don't need you to babysit.
I feel like I should keep you on a retainer or something.
I don't mind.
I know, but I found someone who's supposed to be wonderful.
- Hope heard about her.
- Good.
That's good.
Well, you seem pretty set here.
- You were great.
- It's nothing.
Nancy? Yeah? How's Ethan? He seems okay.
Why? He just doesn't seem I don't know what the word is.
He asked me about Dad the other day.
My dad? If he ever left me.
If he came back.
It's just going to take some time, Mom.
What is? I should go.
What? Did I miss something? - No, we were just talking.
- About what? Nothing.
Ethan.
Ethan is not nothing.
Ethan is my son.
So maybe I can be a part of this.
He seems a little anxious to me.
That's all we were talking about, Elliot.
You didn't miss anything.
So he seems a little anxious to you.
Look, this is probably none of my business Never stopped you before.
Oh, come on.
Will the two of you just stop it? - Fine.
- Fine.
It's just You don't know him that well.
You're going to stand there and tell me - you haven't noticed anything? - Mom, just Just what exactly are you implying, Eleanor? I'm implying nothing.
This is a private conversation.
Had nothing to do with you.
It was about Ethan.
You were talking about Ethan.
I think I have the right to know if somebody around this house thinks I'm not sensitive to my own son.
Elliot, for God's sake Elliot, she wasn't saying that.
Do you have any idea how much I love Ethan? Oh, this is great, Nance.
This is just great.
I can accept that she thinks I'm a bastard as far as you're concerned.
She doesn't think that.
But Ethan Elliot, she's just a worrier.
You know that about her.
She's a meddling bitch is what she is.
What is your problem? My problem? Elliot, we are going out in five minutes.
Can't you just keep it together until then? The car's in the way.
I'll move it right now.
I'll take care of it.
[Ethan.]
Mommy.
I'm coming, honey.
Mommy.
Where's Daddy? He's just moving the car for Grandma.
I heard you.
You were yelling.
I hate when you yell.
I know.
I know, but it's over now.
You were yelling about me.
Oh, baby, come here.
You were yelling.
Ethan.
Ethan, I want you to look at me because I want to ask you something.
Would you look at me? Hey, hey.
Do I look sad? Come on, really look at me.
No.
No? Good.
Because I'm not.
Yelling You know, sometimes it's okay to yell.
Sometimes, people who love each other, they yell a lot.
I love your daddy very much.
And before Well, before we didn't yell, and we got much angrier with each other.
Your daddy loves me.
And he loves you, and he loves Britty.
And he even loves Grandma.
Sometimes.
- Okay? - Okay.
How you doing, Eth? - Okay.
- You sure.
? [doorbell rings.]
That's the babysitter.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Hey, is there something you want to tell me? Some guy stuff? No guy stuff, Dad.
'Cause if there is, any time, even if it's bad, you come to me, okay? - Okay.
- You promise? I promise, Dad.
- Can I wait up for you? - Sure.
We'll bring you some rolls from the restaurant.
Come on, I want you to meet the sitter.
Ethan can stay up until we get home, but he'll probably be asleep by then, and Britty should be in bed around 8:30.
Just make sure she goes to the bathroom before you tuck her in.
- She's such a pretty princess.
- Thanks.
Do you have a name? This is Ethan.
Ethan, this is Mrs.
Klimpt.
K-L-I-M-P-T, and the P-T is silent.
Their supper's all ready.
They usually eat in about half an hour.
I brought my own snacks.
I'm on a diet.
It's for a hereditary condition.
I won't go into that.
Yes.
Well, okay.
Come here, give me a hug.
- I love you.
- Mom, can you stay? I can't stay, but we'll be home early, I swear.
What if the robbers come? No, they won't.
I promise.
- Nance, Nance.
Come on.
- Okay.
We're out of here.
Be good.
- Bye, Mommy.
- I love you.
I wouldn't let her stay in there too long with the cookies, and I left the phone number right here.
Okay, bye.
- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye.
[Brittany.]
She'll be coming 'round the mountain When she comes Excuse me, excuse me.
What? Oh, you sure know how to creep around, don't you? There's someone out there.
- Out where? - Outside.
Go back to bed like a good boy.
There's someone out there.
I saw him.
You're just dreaming.
Haven't you heard about the robbers and stuff? - Sure I have, but - [clatter.]
Oh, my God.
Call 911, please.
Please call it.
[dialing.]
- You know what? - What? I never should have eaten those snails.
Snails make me horny.
[laughs.]
Elliot? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
[Policeman.]
Anything out of order? [Policeman #2.]
It's all clear back here.
Hold that, looks like the owners just drove up.
[police radio squawks.]
All right.
Send the other car back.
We'll stay here.
Where are they? Where are the kids? Oh, sweetie.
What's going on? Where's Ethan? Where's Ethan? Are you okay? Come here.
Here.
Are you okay? Are you okay? Oh, thank God you're okay, pal.
We got a call about a perpetrator.
- Perpetrator? - A perpetrator? Perpetrating what? He made me do it.
We took a look out there.
We didn't see anything.
Okay.
There is.
There was somebody out there.
We'll keep a watch on the house, but There was somebody out there.
I think everything's under control now.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
- Here.
- He made me do it.
- Please, just go home.
- I'm going to get her to sleep.
- That's great.
- It was four hours, Mr.
Weston.
- Fine.
- You paid me for three.
Fine, fine, fine.
Here, plus a tip.
Just go.
It was him.
Yeah, fine.
Thank you.
Dad, there was somebody out there.
Ethan.
This is serious, pal.
Calling the police is very serious.
Mommy and Daddy have always told you to call 911.
But it depends on the circumstances, which we will discuss in the morning.
Right now, I want you to go to your room and get in bed.
I'll be in there in a minute.
No.
What? - No.
- Ethan.
I'm not going.
Yes, you are.
I'm not going.
You are going to your room right now, Mister! I'm not! - You go, right now! - No! I'm not! - Right now, Ethan.
Go! - Elliot.
I hate you.
I want you to go away.
- Mommy! - I hope you die.
I hope you die! - Mommy, what's wrong? - Come here, sweetie.
- [door slams shut.]
- It's okay, it's okay.
Ethan, you want to come out and have some breakfast? No.
You sure? I'm positive.
'Cause any time you want to, we're all out here.
Great.
Pocahontas, she was this really important lady, - and you know why? - No, why? She was the first person to put marshmallows on top of sweet potatoes, so she is very important.
You want to bring some of these leaves in to Mommy? Does that sound good? Huh? Maybe take a nap Does that sound good? Yeah, okay.
Let's do that.
Let's pick some really pretty ones and put them on the table for Thanksgiving.
Bring the red one.
What do you think? I think we should enroll it in a preschool.
Here, taste.
It's Mom's recipe.
- Ooh.
- It's hot.
Let me guess Celery, chestnuts Wait, don't tell me.
Tootsie Rolls, right? Can I help? Sure.
So this is a self-baster, huh? We had a self-baster once.
I was like 10, maybe, and Dad had sold somebody a piece of the True Cross or something, so we had a lot to be thankful for that year.
Anyway, Mom's in the kitchen in an apron, and you can smell the leaves burning down the street, and the football games are on, and the table's all set.
We're all waiting to eat.
And it's like, "Hey, Mom, when are we going to eat?" "Soon," she says.
We wait.
"Hey, Ma, we're starving in here.
" We wait.
Finally, Dad says to go give her a hand, so I go in, and there's Mom, empty bottle of sherry, Mom's face on the table.
Turkey's in the oven, which I open, which is cold.
So I turned it on.
We ate a little late, but I didn't have to do anything because it was a self-baster.
He's still in there.
He won't come out.
Eth? You in there? I'm in there.
You having fun in there? I'm not coming out.
That's fine, that's fine.
Um, just, you know, when you feel like joining us Great.
Oh, will someone please call the Norman Rockwell police? Five minutes! [TV Announcer.]
Defense You want me to try? You never know.
Yeah, sure.
Why not? Thanks.
Ethan? Happy Thanksgiving.
Same to you.
We're going to eat pretty soon.
Everything looks really great.
Ethan? Ethan? Please leave me alone.
Nice job.
[Nancy.]
Ethan, we're sitting down to dinner.
[overlapping chatter.]
Wait a sec, don't start, don't start.
This won't take long, I swear.
I would just like to say thank you to all of you for being here with me and my family.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Let's eat.
[all.]
Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, Eleanor.
[chatter.]
Thank you.
Do you want that cut up? Can you eat some potatoes? This looks amazing.
Okay.
It's always good.
[TV plays.]
[TV announcer chatters.]
You sure you don't want some help in here? No, really, I'm fine.
Maybe we should go, I guess.
Nance, hang in there.
Michael.
That's it.
This was great.
- Yeah, it was great.
- Yeah.
So you going in tomorrow? I don't know.
The kids are going to be home and everything.
What, are you? I wasn't planning to.
Maybe I'll miss a rung on the Drentell butt-kissing ladder.
If you want to just hang out or something tomorrow - I'll call you.
- Okay.
Here we go, huh, big girl? Elliot, thank you so much.
Thank you, it was great.
This was great.
Did you have fun, little miss? - Did you? - Did you have fun? She did.
- Oh, good.
- You did have fun, huh? Nance, thanks again.
I appreciate it.
- Thank you, Nancy.
- Bye-bye.
- Gained a little weight.
- See you, bud.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Need some help in there? No, it's all done, practically.
Britty's asleep, and I'm off.
Great.
Thanks, Mom.
Bye.
Bye.
You haven't seen my coat, have you? Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Right here.
Wait.
Don't.
Come on.
Thank you.
It's Thanksgiving, you know? Absolutely.
Don't say anything, okay? I didn't say anything? What did I say? You didn't say anything.
Thank you.
But that's 'cause I know what you're thinking.
You don't know what I'm thinking.
Just shut up.
All right, all right.
It's possible you know what I think about you.
Yeah, that I'm a big schmuck.
I do think that.
You're right.
I also think that for a schmuck, you're not a bad guy.
You don't think Nancy was dumb for taking me back? Nancy's a grown woman.
She can take care of herself.
You were gone a long time, Elliot, and Ethan doesn't know what to hold on to.
Well, that's another Thanksgiving under the bridge.
If I'd known it was going to be like this, I'd never have left Indiana.
You take care.
That's it.
You coming? Yeah, in a minute.
Okay.
I missed you today.
Good night.
[wind rattles windows.]
[police sirens wail.]
[sirens wail, horns honk.]
Dad, Dad, come here.
Dad, Dad! I got it.
I got this.
Dad, come here, please, please, please.
There's something out there.
Dad, please, come here.
Quick, I'm not lying.
Dad, there's something out there.
I'm not lying.
It's okay.
Hey, sh, sh, sh.
It's okay.
There's somebody out there.
Can you hear it? There's somebody out there.
I wasn't lying.
I believe you.
I know you weren't lying.
I know you weren't.
Come here, pal.
There's somebody out there.
I know, I know.
Listen, Eth, you and I, we're going to go out there.
We're going to go out and see.
- I can't.
- Yeah, you can.
Yeah, you can.
Come on.
We got to go out there.
We got to get those guys.
That's what we're going to do.
Come on.
Here we go.
Let's go.
That's a big guy.
That's a big guy.
Come on.
Okay, come on, pal.
I want to go in.
Come on now.
- I want to go in.
- Come on, Eth.
We got to see who's out here, okay? - I want to go in.
- You said you saw somebody, right? - Right.
- Okay, all right.
Well, we got to see.
There's nobody out here.
Look, look, look.
Right? There's nobody out here.
Now let's look around the front of the house.
- I don't want to go.
- Come on, pal.
- I don't want to go.
- Okay, all right.
Okay, you want me to go? Okay.
What do I do? You just wait, all right? You wait right here.
What if you don't come back? Just wait, okay? [branches crack.]
Daddy! Dad, Dad, I think I see it.
Where are you, Daddy? - Daddy.
- Ethan, I'm here.
Come here.
I'm here.
It's okay.
Look, look.
See? There's nothing here.
There's nothing out here, pal.
There's nothing out here.
We're safe.
Come here.
We're safe.
We're safe.
Daddy, don't leave me, please.
Oh, pal, shh.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere.
Daddy's here.
Daddy's here.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay.
Daddy's here.
Yeah.
Shh.
Is everything all right? Yeah, everything's fine.
Are you sleepy? No.
- You hungry? - Starved.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA And dance by the light of the moon
[busy signal tone.]
[busy signal tone.]
[sighs.]
We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing Sweetie, what is this in your hair? Ethan.
Ethan, oh.
Ethan, I am confiscating that liquid string as of immediately.
Is that clear? Come on, your maize.
Don't forget your maize.
[Ethan.]
Mom.
I am not kidding about that string.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Hey, I thought you weren't coming till this evening.
I woke up early.
I tried to call.
Is this a bad time? Yeah I mean it's just crazy.
I got to take Britty to school, I got to stop at the publish, and I have to be at work by 10:00.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You're hungry, right? - No, not really.
I'm gonna get some stuff out of the car.
Hey, maybe I'll have a little scrambled Ethan while I'm at it, huh? I'll be right back.
You want to help me out, pal? Why don't you help your daddy, sweetie? I have to talk to you, Mom.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
Hey, Nance, why don't I take her to school? Oh, that'd be great.
What's it like out? She needs a jacket, right? Yeah, probably.
I'll right back, though.
Ethan.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I didn't see you standing there.
- Mom.
- Hmm.
- Mom.
- What? I don't think I feel that good.
Really, why? What's wrong? My glands are swollen.
Oh, no.
Let me see.
I don't feel anything.
Don't have a fever.
He's faking.
Hey, you shut up.
You want to be dead? Okay, okay, the two of you, just give it a break, okay? Okay, fine, don't believe me.
Ethan.
I didn't say I didn't believe you.
You're gonna need to wear a coat, too.
It's okay, I will.
Come here, pumpkin.
- Here you go, sweetie.
- It's just that good kind of cold out there.
You know, that neat little snap in November.
This week right here.
This is my particular favorite week.
Hold on, sweetie, I'm almost through.
And you know what I'm gonna do this weekend? - No, what? - I'm gonna rake leaves.
The whole neighborhood.
Me and Eth, we're gonna earn a few bucks.
Right, Eth? - Hey, Ethan.
- Hey, Nicholas.
Hi.
I'm Ethan's dad.
Oh, you live here now? Want your daddy to take you to school? It's all right, Nancy we'll walk.
Come on.
Bye.
"Nancy"? Well, we're out of here.
Come on, Britty.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Have a nice day.
Okay.
And make lots of money.
All right.
- See you.
- Bye.
Bye, Mommy.
Come on, guys, come on.
Okay, Gordon, tell Weston about it.
It was my street.
The robbers, they got a house right next Shannon Moskowitz.
- Shannon Moskowitz? - What happened? It was bad.
They got the Life Cycle, the food, money, and a Nintendo.
They got the Nintendo? They found a cat, Eth, dead, its guts on the ground.
- My Dad saw the guts.
- Cool.
[girls.]
We gather together To ask the Lord's blessing He chastens and hastens Total rejects.
- Oh, Mom, look.
- What? The indentations where the TV used to be.
Your father watched all the games.
Right, and I'd bring him popcorn.
Deb, would bring him a beer.
And Susan would bring him the sandwich.
Bologna and cheese [both.]
On toast with a little French's mustard.
You brought us up to serve, Mom.
Thanks a lot.
We got to eat because I got to get back to work.
You don't have to go to all this trouble.
What trouble? I wanted to see you.
Oh, let me give you a couple of dollars.
Mom, it's my treat.
I got you chicken salad.
Mmm, I love chicken salad.
Mom, Thursday It's Thanksgiving Thursday, and you were planning to come to our house, right? Well, I don't know.
You want to do it here? - Mom.
- What? We're gonna have dinner at our house.
Whatever.
What should I bring? Why don't you bring those cinnamon rolls that Elliot loves? That'd be great.
Mom.
What? You're coming to our house, right? Of course I'm coming.
No, I want you to want to come to our house.
I do want to.
I hope so.
You do this? Yeah, me and Britty.
Oh, it's pretty.
What? The table.
He usually sets it.
Oh, I'm sorry, pal.
- You want me to unset it? - It's okay, Dad.
You're sure? I don't want to take your job away.
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
[Ethan.]
Give it back.
Ethan! Don't touch me.
- Give it back, stupid.
- Mommy! Whoa, whoa, what's going on? - What's going on? - She took my MAD magazine.
Look, I don't care.
You don't hit your sister, young man.
She ripped out Spy vs.
Spy.
I don't care what she ripped out.
Mom, make her give it back.
Okay, hold on.
Time out.
We're taking a little break here.
Why do I have to take a break? She ripped out Spy vs.
Spy.
Ethan, you heard what your father said.
Why don't you ever listen to me? Nobody listens to me.
Nobody! [door slams.]
Hey, Eth, you holding down the fort? Yeah.
What? I can't hear you.
Yes, I'm holding down the fort.
Hey, you want to play some ball? In a minute.
[Michael.]
Come on.
Elliot.
So he's back, huh? He's back.
Mine came back once.
We went to Disney World.
Cool.
[Nancy.]
Little roses.
It's all part of the pounds.
[Hope.]
That's pretty.
I like that blue.
Hey, Eth, you watching the girls? I'm watching them.
[Elliot in distance.]
He's got the ball! He's going over the You guys seem good.
I mean, you know? The kids seem good.
Oh, I hope they are.
I am.
I think Elliot is.
Oh, in the end zone.
Does this mean I have to find a new way of looking at him? I was just getting comfortable with the judgmental bitch approach.
[chattering.]
Right now, this is what I've missed the most.
Just all of us.
- Whee! - He's down.
- Whee.
- Hey, Janey, come here.
Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? I don't know.
[chattering.]
[floor creaks.]
[police sirens in distance.]
Freeze, you're dead.
[mimics gun shot.]
Uh, sorry I'm late.
And a Happy Thanksgiving from Miles Drentell.
You know, for a guy who barely shows up on the moral matrix as we know it.
I know, he makes a bigmegillah over Thanksgiving.
So? So is it weird? - What? - Being back.
Well, it's not weird, which is weird that it's not.
Right.
So what is it, then? Other than not weird.
Hi.
What's wrong? Nothing.
I had to stop down at the publisher, so I thought I'd stop and say hi.
- Oh, so hi.
- Hi.
I like that.
Nancy, I got to get a cup of coffee.
You want some? Oh yeah, thanks.
With a little milk.
And don't spit in it this time.
You look great.
I do? Thanks.
Want to have sex in the conference room? Elliot, I have to talk to you about something.
Okay.
- About Thanksgiving.
- Okay.
- Well, I just thought with my mom being here.
- Right, right.
And Hope and Michael do it every year.
They never let you forget it.
Yeah, and with things, you know.
Right.
Well, I just thought it would be nice for the kids and for us.
I mean for all of us.
What do you think? Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Hope said we're going to your house.
Right, right, that's Yeah, right.
You did, didn't you? Now, see if you can remember what I've got in my hand.
Okay.
Want that 3 of hearts? I want that 3 of hearts.
Good.
And I want that jack of hearts.
Okay, let's see what I got here.
- Grandma.
- What, honey? What was Grandpa like? You don't remember him, do you? That's too bad.
Do you like him? Of course I liked him very much.
Did he ever go away? What do you mean? Did he ever go away from you? Once he did, yes.
But he came back.
Did he stay? He stayed.
Yes.
Grandma, can I get some more popcorn? Sure.
So would you ever do it again? What are you Do what again? Where is Hope? Hope? Wait, wait, wait, Mike.
"Dear Michael, "I have decided to move to Vancouver with Janey.
"Please don't try to find us.
Have a nice Thanksgiving.
Love, Hope.
" She's at our house.
She wants you to ball the socks.
So you haven't answered my questions.
You don't have any candy corn or like little marshmallows or anything, do you? What? That's a logical question.
Those are holiday-themed food products.
Elliot, my I want you to answer my question.
Would you ever do it again? You know it.
What, like a Sheryl Eastman it? I mean is that the kind of it you mean? Yeah, that's it.
What kind of stupid question is that? Well, I don't know.
It's Thanksgiving.
I figure this is a good time to bare our souls and grovel for forgiveness from our moral superiors.
I've already groveled.
Come on, let's eat this.
- No, Elliot.
- Oh, come on.
No, no, it's sundown.
Come on, let the official pig-a-thon begin right now.
Just a sliver, though, all right? - All right, a sliver.
- Sliver, okay.
- So.
- So.
Would I ever do it again? No and it's weird because I still look at people.
Female people, like that new girl in accounting.
- I look at her sometimes.
- Yeah, me, too.
[both.]
Ooh.
You know, I don't know what it is.
I mean, it's like it's not fear or guilt or any of that stuff that's holding me back.
It's It's like It's like I see my family for the first time as as us, you know? I mean Nancy and kids as us.
When it used to just be, you know, me and them, you know? Right.
So, um, what is that new girl's name in accounting anyway? I don't know.
Really? Carlotta.
Carlotta, Carlotta, yeah.
Charlotte.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Oh, man.
This is unbelievable.
We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing He chastens and hastens, his will You know, is it really possible to hasten and chasten at the same time? I never really bought that part.
Well, don't ask questions.
You know, he's a busy guy, God.
And the holidays happen to be his busiest season.
[all.]
And forgets not his own Oh, come on.
Hey, Ethan.
Hey, Eth, how's your grandma? - Fine.
- Good.
Ethan, what do you think? Thought I heard another male voice in here.
I was starting to feel a little bit outnumbered.
Hey, no, no.
Those are for Thursday.
Come on, pal, we're out of here.
Come on, Eth, your dad is gonna help you with your reading, okay? Okay.
Ah, his teacher says he's slipping.
Well, he's obviously very smart, Nance.
Oh, I know.
It's just that he's obsessed with these robberies.
I mean, it's all he and the other boys can talk about.
Yeah, there was another one two days ago.
Did you see the police sketch? It was like one of my video dates.
Hey, buddy.
Okay, let's see here.
All right, how about ThePilgrims? "So the pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock.
Plymouth Bay was filled with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
" Wait a second.
Huh, must be the wrong book.
Okay, here's one.
How about this? Pocahontas.
"Hello, said Pocahontas the Indian.
Then she cut one.
" Wait a minute.
How did that get in there? I don't know.
I don't know, either.
Wait, okay, here we go.
Hey, sure you don't want to sit up here with me, pal? Okay, all right, that's cool.
We'll be down here.
This is better anyway.
All right, put the cars down.
Sit down right here.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna read a sentence, then you're gonna read a sentence, okay? - Let me guess.
- Okay, good.
"And so the pilgrims came to a new world.
" Okay, your turn, come on.
"They were very brave because they had to leave Behind.
"They had to leave behind - "The world they knew" - That's good.
That's really good.
That's really good.
My turn.
"They were sailing to a new place where there might be unknown dangers.
" - Okay, your turn.
- I don't want to.
Come on, Eth, you're doing great.
I don't want to.
Look, Eth, you love to read.
You're a good reader.
- I'm not.
- Sure you are.
Come on, honey, you can do this.
I'm not.
I'm dumb.
I think he's tired.
You know, he looks tired.
He hasn't been sleeping.
I don't think so.
[whistles.]
Where do you think you're going, huh? I haven't decided, yet.
- Ow.
- What? Oh, no, I must have left a pin in her hat.
I'm sorry.
A pin? You want me to get you a little Band-Aid with stars on it? Okay.
Why don't we go inside where it's a little safer? Ooh, poor baby.
[giggles.]
[Nancy.]
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
He's asleep.
Come on.
[laughter, chatter.]
[police sirens wail.]
[sirens continue wailing.]
[sirens increase in volume.]
[rapping.]
We gather together To ask the Lord's blessing He hastens and chastens, his will to make known The wicked oppressin' now cease from distressin' imitating record being scratched [knocking at door.]
There's a thump, A knock, at my front door I better answer it before they get cold Eleanor.
Elliot.
Bundt pan.
What? I'm helping Nancy with Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh, of course.
Never go anywhere without your Bundt pan.
No, I don't.
I was just getting the kids ready for school.
Great.
[Nancy.]
Okay, sit up.
Let me get your jacket.
It's cold.
There you go.
- [Brittany.]
Hi, Grandma.
- Hi, honey.
Ethan, you going to get ready for school or what? He says he doesn't feel well.
[both.]
Normal.
Ah, you'll feel better.
Come on, let's go.
I got to get to work.
- Let's go.
- I don't feel good.
I know, but you were out last week.
I can't sleep.
School will make you feel better.
I can't sleep at all.
Come on, Eth, tough it out.
It's only half a day.
Forget it.
Well, it is just half a day.
I know, and it's the day before Thanksgiving, and half the kids won't be there anyway.
I don't feel good.
- No, forget it.
- Absolutely not.
It's only half a day, and then you're going to have a long vacation.
Mommy's right.
Come on, pilgrim.
Mm, let me get a kiss.
Bye-bye, sweetie.
Okay.
Eth, you're going to feel better, right? I'll try, Dad.
Okay.
See you later, hon.
- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye, Mommy.
[imitates gunshot.]
Aah! [imitates machine gun.]
Hi.
Hey.
When are they going to get here? I don't know.
Ten minutes.
What are you doing? I'm going to steal these things, I swear to God I am.
Ethan would love them.
It's true.
You never know when you need firepower.
I like to have stuff for him when he comes around.
This is good for him.
Build character, make a man out of him.
You wouldn't know anything about that.
Ooh.
You'll get another chance.
Don't worry.
I know, but you can't think like that.
What if you have a girl and she finds out, and she hates you and ends up working in arbitrage? It's cool having a son, though, isn't it? It's really cool.
It's like you can let him be the guy you weren't allowed to be as a kid.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah.
So they're looting your neighborhood.
You better take that home.
You never know if you might need it.
Seriously, you worried about it? Come on, they're only robbing houses during the day when nobody's home.
Mikey, look out! Get down! [imitates machine gun fire.]
Mikey! - Gentlemen.
- Hi.
"Robberies continue.
Police try to trace M.
O.
" What's M.
O.
? M stands for murder, and I forgot what the O is.
I got to eat lunch.
Yeah, pizza.
Nicky? Yeah, I'm in.
Hi.
Here, this is for you.
It's a video Lady and the Tramp.
My dad has the VCR.
Hey, Nicker.
- Dad.
- Hey, buddy.
How you doing? This is my friend Diane.
He's very handsome, Paul.
This is Ethan, Dad.
Hi, Ethan.
Nicky, look, I can't come get you tomorrow.
It's okay, Dad.
Next week, okay? I swear to you.
Where's the powder room? The what? We'll go to a movie or something, all right? I swear to you, okay? What are you doing here? What do you mean, what am I doing here? You got him tomorrow for Thanksgiving.
I can't tomorrow.
Okay, fine.
Good.
I'm here now, right? Am I here or not? There's no toilet paper.
Go to the car.
I said go to the car.
Just wonderful.
We'll talk about this later.
Great.
Incidentally, the house is a damn pigsty, Susan.
You bring her here? It's my house.
I'm calling Katz.
Call him.
Go on.
- Call him.
- I will.
Call him! Mom, I'll make us some pizza, okay? [Susan.]
Why don't you and your friend [Nicholas.]
We'll be together, Mom.
stick around and make yourselves at home? - Hey, Eth.
- Hi.
Did you have fun with Nicholas? - Yeah.
- [door slams shut.]
Going out tonight? Yeah, we are, to dinner.
That'll be nice for the kids.
No, just us me and Elliot.
No, no, Mom, I don't need you to babysit.
I feel like I should keep you on a retainer or something.
I don't mind.
I know, but I found someone who's supposed to be wonderful.
- Hope heard about her.
- Good.
That's good.
Well, you seem pretty set here.
- You were great.
- It's nothing.
Nancy? Yeah? How's Ethan? He seems okay.
Why? He just doesn't seem I don't know what the word is.
He asked me about Dad the other day.
My dad? If he ever left me.
If he came back.
It's just going to take some time, Mom.
What is? I should go.
What? Did I miss something? - No, we were just talking.
- About what? Nothing.
Ethan.
Ethan is not nothing.
Ethan is my son.
So maybe I can be a part of this.
He seems a little anxious to me.
That's all we were talking about, Elliot.
You didn't miss anything.
So he seems a little anxious to you.
Look, this is probably none of my business Never stopped you before.
Oh, come on.
Will the two of you just stop it? - Fine.
- Fine.
It's just You don't know him that well.
You're going to stand there and tell me - you haven't noticed anything? - Mom, just Just what exactly are you implying, Eleanor? I'm implying nothing.
This is a private conversation.
Had nothing to do with you.
It was about Ethan.
You were talking about Ethan.
I think I have the right to know if somebody around this house thinks I'm not sensitive to my own son.
Elliot, for God's sake Elliot, she wasn't saying that.
Do you have any idea how much I love Ethan? Oh, this is great, Nance.
This is just great.
I can accept that she thinks I'm a bastard as far as you're concerned.
She doesn't think that.
But Ethan Elliot, she's just a worrier.
You know that about her.
She's a meddling bitch is what she is.
What is your problem? My problem? Elliot, we are going out in five minutes.
Can't you just keep it together until then? The car's in the way.
I'll move it right now.
I'll take care of it.
[Ethan.]
Mommy.
I'm coming, honey.
Mommy.
Where's Daddy? He's just moving the car for Grandma.
I heard you.
You were yelling.
I hate when you yell.
I know.
I know, but it's over now.
You were yelling about me.
Oh, baby, come here.
You were yelling.
Ethan.
Ethan, I want you to look at me because I want to ask you something.
Would you look at me? Hey, hey.
Do I look sad? Come on, really look at me.
No.
No? Good.
Because I'm not.
Yelling You know, sometimes it's okay to yell.
Sometimes, people who love each other, they yell a lot.
I love your daddy very much.
And before Well, before we didn't yell, and we got much angrier with each other.
Your daddy loves me.
And he loves you, and he loves Britty.
And he even loves Grandma.
Sometimes.
- Okay? - Okay.
How you doing, Eth? - Okay.
- You sure.
? [doorbell rings.]
That's the babysitter.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Hey, is there something you want to tell me? Some guy stuff? No guy stuff, Dad.
'Cause if there is, any time, even if it's bad, you come to me, okay? - Okay.
- You promise? I promise, Dad.
- Can I wait up for you? - Sure.
We'll bring you some rolls from the restaurant.
Come on, I want you to meet the sitter.
Ethan can stay up until we get home, but he'll probably be asleep by then, and Britty should be in bed around 8:30.
Just make sure she goes to the bathroom before you tuck her in.
- She's such a pretty princess.
- Thanks.
Do you have a name? This is Ethan.
Ethan, this is Mrs.
Klimpt.
K-L-I-M-P-T, and the P-T is silent.
Their supper's all ready.
They usually eat in about half an hour.
I brought my own snacks.
I'm on a diet.
It's for a hereditary condition.
I won't go into that.
Yes.
Well, okay.
Come here, give me a hug.
- I love you.
- Mom, can you stay? I can't stay, but we'll be home early, I swear.
What if the robbers come? No, they won't.
I promise.
- Nance, Nance.
Come on.
- Okay.
We're out of here.
Be good.
- Bye, Mommy.
- I love you.
I wouldn't let her stay in there too long with the cookies, and I left the phone number right here.
Okay, bye.
- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye.
[Brittany.]
She'll be coming 'round the mountain When she comes Excuse me, excuse me.
What? Oh, you sure know how to creep around, don't you? There's someone out there.
- Out where? - Outside.
Go back to bed like a good boy.
There's someone out there.
I saw him.
You're just dreaming.
Haven't you heard about the robbers and stuff? - Sure I have, but - [clatter.]
Oh, my God.
Call 911, please.
Please call it.
[dialing.]
- You know what? - What? I never should have eaten those snails.
Snails make me horny.
[laughs.]
Elliot? - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
[Policeman.]
Anything out of order? [Policeman #2.]
It's all clear back here.
Hold that, looks like the owners just drove up.
[police radio squawks.]
All right.
Send the other car back.
We'll stay here.
Where are they? Where are the kids? Oh, sweetie.
What's going on? Where's Ethan? Where's Ethan? Are you okay? Come here.
Here.
Are you okay? Are you okay? Oh, thank God you're okay, pal.
We got a call about a perpetrator.
- Perpetrator? - A perpetrator? Perpetrating what? He made me do it.
We took a look out there.
We didn't see anything.
Okay.
There is.
There was somebody out there.
We'll keep a watch on the house, but There was somebody out there.
I think everything's under control now.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
- Here.
- He made me do it.
- Please, just go home.
- I'm going to get her to sleep.
- That's great.
- It was four hours, Mr.
Weston.
- Fine.
- You paid me for three.
Fine, fine, fine.
Here, plus a tip.
Just go.
It was him.
Yeah, fine.
Thank you.
Dad, there was somebody out there.
Ethan.
This is serious, pal.
Calling the police is very serious.
Mommy and Daddy have always told you to call 911.
But it depends on the circumstances, which we will discuss in the morning.
Right now, I want you to go to your room and get in bed.
I'll be in there in a minute.
No.
What? - No.
- Ethan.
I'm not going.
Yes, you are.
I'm not going.
You are going to your room right now, Mister! I'm not! - You go, right now! - No! I'm not! - Right now, Ethan.
Go! - Elliot.
I hate you.
I want you to go away.
- Mommy! - I hope you die.
I hope you die! - Mommy, what's wrong? - Come here, sweetie.
- [door slams shut.]
- It's okay, it's okay.
Ethan, you want to come out and have some breakfast? No.
You sure? I'm positive.
'Cause any time you want to, we're all out here.
Great.
Pocahontas, she was this really important lady, - and you know why? - No, why? She was the first person to put marshmallows on top of sweet potatoes, so she is very important.
You want to bring some of these leaves in to Mommy? Does that sound good? Huh? Maybe take a nap Does that sound good? Yeah, okay.
Let's do that.
Let's pick some really pretty ones and put them on the table for Thanksgiving.
Bring the red one.
What do you think? I think we should enroll it in a preschool.
Here, taste.
It's Mom's recipe.
- Ooh.
- It's hot.
Let me guess Celery, chestnuts Wait, don't tell me.
Tootsie Rolls, right? Can I help? Sure.
So this is a self-baster, huh? We had a self-baster once.
I was like 10, maybe, and Dad had sold somebody a piece of the True Cross or something, so we had a lot to be thankful for that year.
Anyway, Mom's in the kitchen in an apron, and you can smell the leaves burning down the street, and the football games are on, and the table's all set.
We're all waiting to eat.
And it's like, "Hey, Mom, when are we going to eat?" "Soon," she says.
We wait.
"Hey, Ma, we're starving in here.
" We wait.
Finally, Dad says to go give her a hand, so I go in, and there's Mom, empty bottle of sherry, Mom's face on the table.
Turkey's in the oven, which I open, which is cold.
So I turned it on.
We ate a little late, but I didn't have to do anything because it was a self-baster.
He's still in there.
He won't come out.
Eth? You in there? I'm in there.
You having fun in there? I'm not coming out.
That's fine, that's fine.
Um, just, you know, when you feel like joining us Great.
Oh, will someone please call the Norman Rockwell police? Five minutes! [TV Announcer.]
Defense You want me to try? You never know.
Yeah, sure.
Why not? Thanks.
Ethan? Happy Thanksgiving.
Same to you.
We're going to eat pretty soon.
Everything looks really great.
Ethan? Ethan? Please leave me alone.
Nice job.
[Nancy.]
Ethan, we're sitting down to dinner.
[overlapping chatter.]
Wait a sec, don't start, don't start.
This won't take long, I swear.
I would just like to say thank you to all of you for being here with me and my family.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Let's eat.
[all.]
Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, Eleanor.
[chatter.]
Thank you.
Do you want that cut up? Can you eat some potatoes? This looks amazing.
Okay.
It's always good.
[TV plays.]
[TV announcer chatters.]
You sure you don't want some help in here? No, really, I'm fine.
Maybe we should go, I guess.
Nance, hang in there.
Michael.
That's it.
This was great.
- Yeah, it was great.
- Yeah.
So you going in tomorrow? I don't know.
The kids are going to be home and everything.
What, are you? I wasn't planning to.
Maybe I'll miss a rung on the Drentell butt-kissing ladder.
If you want to just hang out or something tomorrow - I'll call you.
- Okay.
Here we go, huh, big girl? Elliot, thank you so much.
Thank you, it was great.
This was great.
Did you have fun, little miss? - Did you? - Did you have fun? She did.
- Oh, good.
- You did have fun, huh? Nance, thanks again.
I appreciate it.
- Thank you, Nancy.
- Bye-bye.
- Gained a little weight.
- See you, bud.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Need some help in there? No, it's all done, practically.
Britty's asleep, and I'm off.
Great.
Thanks, Mom.
Bye.
Bye.
You haven't seen my coat, have you? Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Right here.
Wait.
Don't.
Come on.
Thank you.
It's Thanksgiving, you know? Absolutely.
Don't say anything, okay? I didn't say anything? What did I say? You didn't say anything.
Thank you.
But that's 'cause I know what you're thinking.
You don't know what I'm thinking.
Just shut up.
All right, all right.
It's possible you know what I think about you.
Yeah, that I'm a big schmuck.
I do think that.
You're right.
I also think that for a schmuck, you're not a bad guy.
You don't think Nancy was dumb for taking me back? Nancy's a grown woman.
She can take care of herself.
You were gone a long time, Elliot, and Ethan doesn't know what to hold on to.
Well, that's another Thanksgiving under the bridge.
If I'd known it was going to be like this, I'd never have left Indiana.
You take care.
That's it.
You coming? Yeah, in a minute.
Okay.
I missed you today.
Good night.
[wind rattles windows.]
[police sirens wail.]
[sirens wail, horns honk.]
Dad, Dad, come here.
Dad, Dad! I got it.
I got this.
Dad, come here, please, please, please.
There's something out there.
Dad, please, come here.
Quick, I'm not lying.
Dad, there's something out there.
I'm not lying.
It's okay.
Hey, sh, sh, sh.
It's okay.
There's somebody out there.
Can you hear it? There's somebody out there.
I wasn't lying.
I believe you.
I know you weren't lying.
I know you weren't.
Come here, pal.
There's somebody out there.
I know, I know.
Listen, Eth, you and I, we're going to go out there.
We're going to go out and see.
- I can't.
- Yeah, you can.
Yeah, you can.
Come on.
We got to go out there.
We got to get those guys.
That's what we're going to do.
Come on.
Here we go.
Let's go.
That's a big guy.
That's a big guy.
Come on.
Okay, come on, pal.
I want to go in.
Come on now.
- I want to go in.
- Come on, Eth.
We got to see who's out here, okay? - I want to go in.
- You said you saw somebody, right? - Right.
- Okay, all right.
Well, we got to see.
There's nobody out here.
Look, look, look.
Right? There's nobody out here.
Now let's look around the front of the house.
- I don't want to go.
- Come on, pal.
- I don't want to go.
- Okay, all right.
Okay, you want me to go? Okay.
What do I do? You just wait, all right? You wait right here.
What if you don't come back? Just wait, okay? [branches crack.]
Daddy! Dad, Dad, I think I see it.
Where are you, Daddy? - Daddy.
- Ethan, I'm here.
Come here.
I'm here.
It's okay.
Look, look.
See? There's nothing here.
There's nothing out here, pal.
There's nothing out here.
We're safe.
Come here.
We're safe.
We're safe.
Daddy, don't leave me, please.
Oh, pal, shh.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere.
Daddy's here.
Daddy's here.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay.
Daddy's here.
Yeah.
Shh.
Is everything all right? Yeah, everything's fine.
Are you sleepy? No.
- You hungry? - Starved.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA And dance by the light of the moon