Top Gear (US) s03e07 Episode Script
College Cars
1 Now on "Top Gear" Yeah! It's time for spring break.
This is so sketchy! We hit the road for an epic journey in our college cars.
Stop! Oh! Oh! Ah! Holy crap! Whoa! Spring break.
It's an annual right of passage for college students across the country.
And it usually means a long road trip with your buddies heading to a party town on the beach.
If you had the right vehicle, you were king.
But since none of us could agree which of our college rides was the best, we decided to settle it once and for all and met up at UC-San Diego in the same cars we had back then.
This is the 1991 Eagle Talon TSI.
I can honestly say that if it wasn't for this car, I wouldn't be here today.
I learned more about driving from the Talon TSI than any other car I've ever owned.
It was the first fast car I had.
It was the first car I really worked on.
I upgraded the turbo just like this one.
I installed so many electronic gizmos inside when you started it up, it looked like Christmas.
But this was the car I honed my skills with.
And it could fit three kegs in the back.
Huh? '82 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham de Elegance.
"De Elegance.
" Yeah! By far the best college ride.
Wow.
It's huge.
That's right.
You could fit the whole football team in there and still have room for cheerleaders.
Look at it.
Look at the interior.
Look how comfortable that is.
Really? That just looks creepy.
This is what you had in college? 195 horsepower.
- Uh-huh.
- Almost 140 miles an hour.
And you drove this in college? See, this is the perfect college car.
For me, anyway.
'Cause, you know, I had friends.
All your friends were blue-haired ladies who could take their teeth out.
Oh, shocker.
Rutledge had Volkswagen in college.
That's full throttle right there.
Look out, stand back.
Stand back.
Oh.
How much for an ounce? 1972 Volkswagen Transporter, better known as the Bus.
Wow.
70 horsepower.
Rear engine.
4-speed manual.
And it seats seven.
This car was so cool in college.
I mean, not only is it like the perfect party mobile.
But I was in a band.
So we used that.
Played drums.
But you weren't a hippie.
I was not I mean, I did go to a couple of phish concerts wait.
So you were like the original hipster.
No.
I'm not a hipster.
I just like plaid.
These aren't skinny jeans.
Whatever.
What are we doing here? What are we doing here? "To see who had the best car in college, you will now embark on an epic spring break adventure" Spring break! Hello! "That starts here in San Diego and ends in San Felipe, Mexico.
" Nice.
"But first, to see which of your college cars "had the best all around performance, you will each attempt to score a touchdown.
" The good news for you Going to Mexico It's downhill.
Actually, it's not.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Pick up games of parking lot football are as much a part of going to school as class.
But this challenge flipped it on its head.
We each had to get our giant footballs into the end zone using only our cars.
First ball across the goal line would win.
Whoo! That was college right there.
Ok.
Here comes Rut.
And the sun's almost down.
We should do this now.
The Caddy's perfect for this football challenge because it's got a flat nose.
So as long as I keep the ball low and I don't hit it up into the wind, I should be ok.
Are you ready, fellas? Yeah, let's do it.
Three, two, one.
Kick off! Sometimes, just like in school, you have to take a step back in order to go forward.
Yes! Oh, lost it! Oh, hello, big fella.
There you are.
Ow.
It wasn't as easy as we had thought.
That's it, baby.
Keep it in front of ya.
And Adam's Cadillac was definitely more lineman than wide receiver.
Uh oh! Oh, he drove over it.
He drove over it.
With the Cadillac deflated, it was down to the Green Bay Window Bus vs.
my Eagle.
And I was sprinting for the end zone.
Oh, on the hood.
This is tricky.
It's amazing.
Oh, no.
It's about to go out of bounds.
About to go out of bounds.
With the eagle's goal line fumble, my bus was heading for victory.
That's what I'll do.
Maybe I'll just try to hold onto it.
Oh, no! Up high! Oh! Oh, no! Oh, come on! It was neck and neck, just yards from the goal line.
Whoever regained possession and carried their ball over the goal line first would win.
Come on, I got it.
Oh, man Yes! With my Talon one and 0, I got to pick the route.
So we got on the road and headed South towards Mexico and the inevitable dysentery.
Mexico, baby! Road trip! Once we crossed the border, our spring break road trip would take us another 264 miles.
First, through the tough streets of Tijuana, down the beautiful Pacific coast passed Ensenada, and then inland across the mountainous Baja Peninsula to the town of San Felipe on the sea of Cortez.
I think you guys would have really enjoyed coming to see my cover band play in college when I was driving around in one of these.
What was the name of your band? "Legend has it" was the name.
I played drums.
And about halfway through the set, I would come up and rap, do a little hip hop.
No.
This is my first spring break actually going on vacation.
I went to work.
I've never done, like, the Cancun style spring break.
I always sort of went canoeing and rock climbing.
How about you, Rut? You know what? I was broke in college.
I never really went anywhere.
Plus my mom did not think that was a good idea.
Even though the VW bus was incapable of speeds over 45 miles an hour, we somehow made it to the border before sundown.
Tanner, have you crossed the border before? Yes, I have ventured across the border here.
I've done the Baja 1000 race a few times.
Right down the street from here.
This is a pretty busy place.
Well, like, what happens? I'm being honest with you.
I really don't want anybody looking at my ass.
It's not like that.
Most people just drive right through.
The key is to distance ourselves from Rutledge right now.
Because he's getting searched.
Yeah.
Rutledge just might as well paint a pot leaf on that thing and have his license plate say "contraband.
" I'll give you 10 bucks if you tell the border control guy to legalize it.
Just work in, "legalize it, bro.
" Just at some point in the conversation.
That's funny.
That's That's funny.
With a large, nervous, bearded man in a small green van, we reached the checkpoint.
We're going into Mexico.
I feel like I should've learned more Spanish.
I don't have much.
I can say, "donde esta el bano?" Are you nervous, Rut? Nervioso, si.
Adam and I sailed through.
But as predicted, the VW bus ensured that Rutledge became the first person in history to be suspected of smuggling drugs into Mexico.
I got stopped.
Yes! Open the door, please.
Eventually, the VW bus made it through the checkpoint.
Am I good? Yes, you can go.
We finally made it across the border.
Welcome to Tijuana.
Our next challenge was all about testing our adaptability skills.
We'd be driving in a foreign city while being distracted.
Just like college students.
We'd pick up some local passengers and transport them to the Caliente Casino across town.
Tijuana is a city of 1.
7 million, almost three times the size of Boston.
It also has notorious barrios, which, if you end up in, could seriously ruin your spring break.
My pick up location was the el foro Jai Alai stadium.
Tanner's was the cathedral of our lady of Guadalupe.
And Rut was heading to Mariachi Plaza.
This wasn't going to be easy.
Two minutes in, and I can tell you everyone here drives like Adam.
This is crazy.
This is like New York City, except I can't understand when these people are cussing at me what they're saying.
But this was a race.
And there was no way I was going to lose the challenge in the ultimate party van.
All the street signs are in Spanish.
So I have no idea where I'm going.
Could I get a bigger map? We're right here, right? Excuse me.
Donde esta el catedro? Hola.
Uh, donde Mariachi Plaza? That way? Hello.
Oh my gosh.
I hit the roof.
I'm definitely not in the right spot right now.
My seventh grade Spanish got me to my pick up location first.
Mariachi Plaza.
I knew I'd find you, you old dog.
But I still had to find my passengers.
Finally, I arrived at the historic Jai Alai stadium.
Here we go.
Hoping for some refined locals who would appreciate the elegance and style of my Caddy.
Hola! Oh Instead, I got luchadors, heading to the casino for a stop the violence charity event.
Get off the car! No, don't push the car! Good lord My passengers were headed to their younger sister's quinceanera party at the casino's banquet hall.
A freaking circus.
They're never going to fit in here.
Ok.
Whatever.
Let's do this.
Give me just one second here.
Ok.
Make a little bit of room here.
Ok.
Uh, ingles? I don'tOk.
Oh, man.
This is going to be great.
Finally, I had found my passengers A seven-piece mariachi band with a wedding gig at the casino.
No problem for the bus.
Cuatro aqui.
O tres, tres, uno aqui.
Wow, look at those pants.
Those are fantastic pants.
It was going to be just like old times hauling my college band around.
All right.
Oh, wow.
Boy, that's Really good acoustics in here.
Coming up, Tanner gets us lost.
Where the (Bleep) are we going? Ow! And his Eagle Talon makes a break for it.
Oh! Oh! What is happening? "Top Gear" had us on an epic spring break road trip to find out who had the best college car.
So far, Tanner's Eagle Talon won the football challenge.
Yes! After crossing the border into Mexico, our second challenge had us racing through the streets of Tijuana with precious cargo.
The winner would be the first to get to the Caliente casino with their passengers.
Clearly, I had drawn the short straw.
It's been, like, 30 minutes with the same song.
Ay ay - I feel like we've been - You see this laser sign? We just saw that a minute ago.
- Are we going like this? - Yeah.
- Si, si, si.
- What? Si! All right.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Do you know any other songs? Otra! Otra! That's yeah.
Let's try one of those.
Como se dice Lynyrd Skynyrd? AC/DC.
You know, anything you want.
The sun was setting fast.
And we were all closing in on the casino.
The talon was in the lead, but Tanner was being Tanner.
Here, watch this.
Watch.
Mucho rapido.
Oh! Silencio! Silencio! Silencio! Who was that? Was that you? Was that you? Over in the bus, Rutledge was attempting another way to stop his mariachi's playing.
Necesito mas cerveza Despite our distractions, we were neck and neck.
It was anyone's game as we made a mad dash for the finish line.
I won! I won! This guy.
Adios, amigos.
Muchas gracias.
Get out of the car! Stop hitting the car! Get out of the car! Come on! You had luchadors.
Like, for real luchadors.
That is amazing.
Yeah.
They're luchadors.
It's not as amazing as you think.
I had a mariachi band.
We got here first.
That's great.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Yeah.
Where's race boy? I have not seen Tanner.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at that.
We did it! No, no, no! What What happened to you? Oh, my gosh.
He's covered in cake.
Bye! Feliz Navidad.
Did you just tell them Merry Christmas? I don't know.
How did the cake get all over you? I said watch this launch one time.
It was a tiny little launch.
Who got here first? I did.
Thank you very much.
In mi coche, which means "in my car" not Merry Christmas.
Celebracione.
Right here! Don't! Don't! As the first day of our college road trip came to an end, it was Volkswagen and Eagle-One, Cadillac-zero.
The next morning, we hit the road early.
So we've left the absolute chaos of Tijuana.
We're headed down the toll road to Ensenada.
This is a very famous road.
This is how every racer in the Baja 1000 gets to Ensenada, which is the start of the race.
The next stretch of our journey was a 72-mile run down the coast.
Then we cut inland to try to cross the peninsula before nightfall.
This feels like spring break.
You know, riding down a little highway right next to the ocean.
This is it.
Look to your left, fellas.
Even Jesus loves the Cadillac.
That is one huge Jesus.
Oh, boy.
Here comes the rain.
The road wound down the coast and through the mountains.
The Volkswagen's lack of performance reminded Rut of his college days.
I called my dad once.
Because as a marketing major, you had to take a certain number of sciences.
So I signed up for astronomy.
And it turns out, it was much more like physics in the sky than it was "hey, look at these stars.
" I called him and told him, "hey, I need to drop this or I'm going to lose my scholarship.
" And he said, "why don't you drop all your classes and move home?! 'Cause you clearly don't want to graduate ever.
" And did you? I did not.
I got a "D" in the class and lost my scholarship.
Oh I actually got kicked out of my dorm.
Really? What happened? I, uh, had a little bit too much Boone's farm one night.
And what happened with you and your screw top wine? Started a little pick up hockey game in the hallway of the dorm.
And ended up knocking off a fire sprinkler, putting a hole in the wall with the water pressure that came out, and put 2 1/2 feet of water in everybody's rooms.
That'll do it.
After Rut's 6-horsepower bus turned a 90-minute journey into a 3-hour marathon, we finally made it to Ensenada.
To get to San Felipe, we had to turn east and head over the Juarez mountains.
All this driving was starting to show what our college cars were really made of.
Uh oh.
Come on.
Come on! Let's go! Bus, magic bus.
Rut, that thing is so slow you've drifted out of radio contact.
Really? I'm going to have to downshift to third again.
This thing is in great shape.
And it's running like a top.
It's just really, really, really slow.
The lack of uphill speed wasn't the microbus's only issue.
Oh, this is scary.
Where'd the brakes go? Holy crap, I can't keep it in the lane.
Oh, big rig! Holy crap! Oh! This is so sketchy! Oh, I'm want to get back in America.
Happily, it turned out my volkswagen wasn't the only one struggling with the hills.
What is on? Do you smell it? Yeah.
Ahem.
There's a distinct smell of some sort of electrical burning.
Is that the insulation burning? Yeah.
From a short? I don't know.
You know what I think it could be, Adam.
What is that, pal? I think this car could be an enormous piece of (Bleep) I'll second that.
The Caddy had a blown fuse.
And without any spares, I came up with a plan.
Which tail light to do you like better? How about this trunk light? Yeah, lose it.
With a piece of wire, we could bypass the fuse altogether and make the Caddy work.
And most importantly, almost guarantee a fire.
We're going to hotwire it.
No, we're not.
It's going to blow up.
No.
It's not going to blow up.
It's going to melt down.
Ok, dude, I think that's it.
Do you do you want to do the honors? - I'm not starting it.
- I'll do it.
We're not blowing up my car.
Ok.
We all ready? Adam's Caddy was on the brink of explosion.
And Rut's bus was struggling over every hill.
So to put the last nail in the coffin and ensure my victory, I decided to lure them to an off-road trail guaranteed to wreck their cars.
There are a couple places here where the Baja 1000 track crosses the highway.
I think we should take one of those crossings.
It's the fastest way to get there.
Rut, I got a feeling we're taking a shortcut.
Ok.
Here it is.
We're going to turn left up here.
Vamanos! Oh, this is going to be fun.
Grr.
This is going to be fun.
Oh, now I can't see.
Tanner, so far I'm not too thrilled with this shortcut.
Oh, goodness! Here's some bumps.
Ok.
Ok.
Ah.
What kind of shortcut is this? I wouldn't do it.
My plan was working perfectly.
Either Adam and Rut would admit defeat or destroy their vehicles in the process.
Tanner, exactly how much time does this save us? This is going to save us 20, 25 minutes over the next four hours.
Wait a minute.
So it's going to save us 20 minutes? That's it? Can you put a value on 20 minutes of your life? But as we climbed higher and higher, somehow against all odds The microbus and Joe Pesci were still with me.
Oh, down to first.
Come on, baby.
Rut, how are you still keeping up? You know, it was just digging.
Just pulling itself up.
I do think I found the bad spots in some of the seat springs however.
After an hour of bone breaking misery, it couldn't get any worse.
Hey, there's somebody behind me.
Hey, I'm getting hit back here.
What? Get out of their way! There's somebody trying to get by.
What the hell is that? Whoa! Oh, there's another one! Son of a Yeah! That's how you do Holy crap! Nice shortcut.
Really nice shortcut.
Spring break '13, yeah! Spring break, '013.
With the sun setting fast, there was still no sign of civilization.
And to make things worse, race boy was getting confused.
Tanner, where the hell are we? Oh, this isn't right.
I got to be honest, Tanner.
This feels like we're lost.
You have no idea, do you? We're lost! Let's just see what's over this next hill.
Ow! (Bleep) Me.
Guess what? I'm done.
Where the (Bleep) Are we going? I think I think we should It's getting a little dark.
Let's just kind of survey, maybe, from the outside here.
Does any of this look familiar? Yeah.
I mean it's like hills and bushes and No.
Look, this trail was pretty That was the way from town that you would've gone where the track wentMaybe we just missed a turn back there.
Look, why don't we just backtrack a little bit.
We're going to come to either water where we can follow downhill.
You learned that in boy scouts.
Or a paved road.
And we'll just make our way to San Felipe.
You know the paved road we're going to hit is the one we left to take this shortcut.
That sounds good to me.
Let's go.
Come on.
Way to navigate Mexico, Cortez.
Thank you very much.
You know what? I'm feeling pretty confident, guys.
Confident what? That we're definitely lost? Yes, exactly.
Coming up, Adam gets a sugar rush at Mexico's most dangerous pinata party.
I want some candy! We were in the middle of spring break roundtrip down Mexico's Baja peninsula to see who had the best car in college.
Tanner's Talon and my Bus had each one won a challenge so far.
But now Tanner had taken us on a 10-hour detour into the desert.
After driving through the night, we finally made it to a muddy lakebed where our next challenge awaited.
Oh, nice.
It opens up out here.
Yeah! Whoo! Andale! Oh, we're going to die.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
There it is.
There's the bus.
Geez You trying to kill me? How awesome is that thing? This one I've been waiting for the whole time.
Just needed a little movement room.
That is Mexico.
That is fun.
This is spring break, fellas.
Mexican spring break style, fellas.
And what says "Mexico" more than car-mounted pinatas? Our next challenge would test our car's turning radius and handling by hanging pinatas on the rear end, bats on the front.
Last one to have an unbroken pinata would win.
This is what's going to happen.
Tanner's going to go after Rut first.
I just know it.
When he does that, that's when I'm going to swoop in and bust Tanner right in the pinata.
The key here is save the front of the car.
'Cause I've got an intercooler and plastic.
Rutledge has nothing in the front of his car.
His engine's in the back.
He's fine as long as he doesn't get rear ended too hard.
And Adam, I mean He could go head-on with a train in that car and be fine.
You ready, Rut? These two are about to see what 70 horsepower of fury looks like.
Ready.
You ready, Tanner? Yeah.
Watch this launch.
Tres, dos, uno.
Go! All right.
I'm going go and get behind Rut.
Sneak attack.
Whoa! Adam's coming.
Oh! Oh.
Oh! Oh! No! Come on, cupcake.
It's on.
No.
Whoa, crazy Ivan.
Oh, I feel like I am going to flip over.
Come on, Rut! Here's my shot.
Oh! Busted pinata.
I want some candy! Oh, no! I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
Ha ha! That's one pinata down.
I'm coming for you, cupcake.
Oh, Adam wants a piece, huh? You want to play? Come and get it.
Oh, boy! Oh! Oh! Hit him again, Adam.
Oh! There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go! Oh! Oh, you did it! You killed my bus! You killed my bus.
What did you hit? Haha haha.
Yes! Yes! What are you doing? I just want the candy.
I just want the candy.
You beating up a defenseless ass.
That's a job well done.
Fell better? Yes, I do.
I can't believe you won.
Oh, yeah.
Look, you're the best driver here.
You got the most horsepower.
I knew you were going to attack Rut.
I just waited for my opportunity, and then I struck.
You didn't even use the stick, though.
You just crashed into the cars.
You, like, smashed my little sunshine.
And then you crashed into Rut.
And I won.
I used the stick.
I used the stick first.
The car was behind that.
I don't know how you did it, but you hit me so hard that you split the case.
I know.
There's candy all over the place.
Not the cupcake.
You split the case of my engine.
What? Yeah.
Well, what are you doing with a rear-engine bus out here in Mexico in the middle of a pinata race? This is your fault.
You were supposed to hit the pinata not the bus! I did hit the pinata.
You're the one dangling a pinata in front of your engine.
What did you expect? Well, guess what? Since you broke that, you're going to get the lucky prize of towing me out of here.
Can't.
No towage.
No tow rope.
Hook it to the bumper.
Oh, no.
It's a Cadillac.
That's not going to work.
Come on, let's go.
It's hot.
You don't you don't You're not serious.
Coming up, we finally reach San Felipe, despite Adam's Caddy continuing to have a few engine problems.
"Top Gear" had us on a spring break road trip in our old college cars to see which one was the best.
So far, each of our cars had won a challenge.
But Rut's VW hadn't survived our pinata party.
You killed my bus! We left him in the desert.
So now it was down to the Eagle vs.
the Caddy.
I'll be honest.
Out of the three of us, Rut has the best Spanish and probably the best chance of survival.
So in a way, it's a positive thing it happened to him.
Rutledge just needs to run into a local and he'll be golden.
Hands down, Mexican mechanics are the most resourceful mechanics on the planet.
I've seen them in the 1000 race use shoelaces, underwear, chewing gum, everything to fix half million dollar trucks and keep them running for 1,000 miles.
Removing 1.
5 tons of lime green dead weight from our convoy, really sped things up.
How far do we have to go? We got 15 miles.
Vamanos! Spring break! Hola, muchacho.
This was it.
After almost 300 miles, we were ready to party.
But San Felipe was not in a party mood.
It was only lunch time.
But it didn't look like it had seen a spring break since we were in college.
Uh, this is lame.
Our college cars had survived wrestlers, breakdowns, and Tanner's shortcut.
All for this? After several hours of relaxing, Adam became delusional.
Look how good that Caddy looks.
I had to park it sideways, so it didn't stick out in the street.
Looks like a little parts donor.
The talon, though dirty Like, with a little bit of dirt on it I mean, the flat black on the wheels.
The rain kind of cleaned off a little bit of the dust.
It looks I think it's pretty stately.
Hold on.
Is that what I think it is? He just made the volkswagen faster.
Yeah.
What? That's beautiful.
Here you go, buddy.
Rut, you made it a front engine.
Hard left.
Hard left.
There you go.
There's my buddy.
There's my buddy.
Hard left.
Ok.
Ok.
Yep.
There's good.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You going off-road? It's all right.
Hold on.
Got to set my parking brake here.
It's ok.
So, uh, funny story.
Go ahead.
I went to this junkyard.
And apparently my Spanish is not perfect.
So when I described horsepower and how I thought the motor was toast He said, "give me an ass.
" Apparently, I don't know how to say horse correctly.
And I got myself half of a bus and a burro.
That's great! That is perfect.
Well, let me ask you something.
How did it ride? It truly might be faster.
Easier to park, apparently.
Yeah, you can park it anywhere.
'Cause it's an animal.
It's not seen as a car now.
It's like an agricultural cart.
Well, it's naturally aspirated.
Look.
No thanks to you guys, I'm here.
Now what? I'm glad you asked.
"San Felipe is clearly not the party town it once was.
"So your final challenge is to make your cars into the ultimate spring break party starters.
" That's it? Well, that should be easy.
I have a donkey and half a Volkswagen.
I mean, you're already halfway there.
Oh, but if he does that That's organic.
That's terrible.
It's organic.
All right.
Let's go.
Overnight, we put our plans into place.
San Felipe wouldn't know what hit it.
The next morning, Tanner took us a couple miles out of town to reveal his idea for attracting the crowds.
What have you done? Not only am I having a party.
I'm starting a whole new business down here in Mexico.
We are going parasailing.
This is going to be a party for four.
Margarita mixer in the middle.
Four people partying around there.
Oh, you're going to put people in there? Yeah, four of them.
I'm going to test it out, obviously.
But we'll fill it with people, with partiers.
Is there anyone to give the people last rites on the way down? All right, so how is this going to work? Parachute-grade rope.
Ok? With a parachute.
About 300 feet, I got a truck up there.
Got Pablo at the wheel.
Basically, gonna give the signal, catch the air, we're flying.
Let's get out of here.
There's no safe place.
No.
I agree with you.
Tanner's plan to start a party had everything going for it except common sense and a basic understanding of physics.
Lift off in three, two, one.
Do it! - Oh! - In the air! Now it's going back down.
Hang on.
Give it a second.
Wait for it.
See? It's just readjusting, turning itself into the wind.
So did the hindenburg.
This is never going to work.
It's up! It's working! Of course it's working.
I can't believe that.
How is that possible? It's flying.
Tanner's plan was working far too well.
And it looked like he might actually be on to something.
He's going to bring it down now.
Watch.
Watch the skill.
Oh! Oh! Oh, what is happening? Look at that.
Touchdown, Pablo.
Oh, that's going to come down so hard.
Oh! Oh! Final touchdown.
We'd finally reached our spring break destination.
And our goal of finding out who had the ultimate college car had all come down to this.
After Rut's Volkswagen had been transformed into a donkeywagen, it was down to me and Tanner.
Whoever could revive San Felipe's party atmosphere would win.
It's up! It's working! Tanner may have made his Eagle fly That is good.
That is good stuff.
You are kidding me.
But he had forgotten that what goes up Oh! Oh! Oh, what is happening? Touchdown, Pablo.
Oh! Oh! Look at that.
Oh! Oh, yes! Yes! Wow! Yes! That's the end of the party.
The car is dragging on its roof.
I think it's ok.
Everyone's dead.
The party's over.
Como se dice "massive failure" en espanol? The eagle had landed.
Crashed landed and with no survivors.
Now, it was my turn to show these idiots how to get a party going.
And what better place to do it than at the beach? What is that? Did you just try driving into the sea of Cortez and you lost it? No.
That is a party barge.
Gentlemen, this is the way you start a party.
First of all, I'm topless.
Right away it's a party.
Hit the button.
Arming.
Who are you telling that to? You yelled it like we weren't standing right next to you.
I like doing that.
Ok.
All right, gentlemen, Hit the button.
Fire one.
Well, that's a dud.
Fire two! Oh Really pitiful.
I think we can go home now.
Ooh! A bottle rocket.
Nice work.
Way to go.
I have one more.
Ok? Uh-huh.
Ready? Yeah.
Well, thank you.
Holy crap! Oh! That was spectacular.
But now your boat is burning and sinking.
Wow.
Huh? Eh.
Eh.
Adam may have been putting a brave face on it, but leaving the burned out carcass of a car on a pristine beach is not the way to get the crowds back.
Well, two colossal failures.
Yeah.
And one fantastic success.
How do you consider yours a fantastic success? That, at least, got everyone's attention.
That scared people.
That wasn't a party atmosphere.
That was scaring people.
Now this This is a party atmosphere.
You put Christmas lights And a little hat.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Hey, burro.
Grab him.
Come on, buddy.
He's ready to go.
The truth was that of the three cars that left San Diego, only mine or half of mine was left.
Technically, my bus had won.
So we set our sights to heading home.
Estados unidos, por favor.
Shall we? Let's go.
Vamanos.
Vamanos.
Holy crap.
We're on our own now.
Now, look, every three or four miles we just rotate.
We'll be home before you know it.
This is a terrible party.
There's no beer.
There's no music.
Wow.
This is the fastest Volkswagen bus ever.
Do me a favor.
Don't drift the donkey.
This is so sketchy! We hit the road for an epic journey in our college cars.
Stop! Oh! Oh! Ah! Holy crap! Whoa! Spring break.
It's an annual right of passage for college students across the country.
And it usually means a long road trip with your buddies heading to a party town on the beach.
If you had the right vehicle, you were king.
But since none of us could agree which of our college rides was the best, we decided to settle it once and for all and met up at UC-San Diego in the same cars we had back then.
This is the 1991 Eagle Talon TSI.
I can honestly say that if it wasn't for this car, I wouldn't be here today.
I learned more about driving from the Talon TSI than any other car I've ever owned.
It was the first fast car I had.
It was the first car I really worked on.
I upgraded the turbo just like this one.
I installed so many electronic gizmos inside when you started it up, it looked like Christmas.
But this was the car I honed my skills with.
And it could fit three kegs in the back.
Huh? '82 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham de Elegance.
"De Elegance.
" Yeah! By far the best college ride.
Wow.
It's huge.
That's right.
You could fit the whole football team in there and still have room for cheerleaders.
Look at it.
Look at the interior.
Look how comfortable that is.
Really? That just looks creepy.
This is what you had in college? 195 horsepower.
- Uh-huh.
- Almost 140 miles an hour.
And you drove this in college? See, this is the perfect college car.
For me, anyway.
'Cause, you know, I had friends.
All your friends were blue-haired ladies who could take their teeth out.
Oh, shocker.
Rutledge had Volkswagen in college.
That's full throttle right there.
Look out, stand back.
Stand back.
Oh.
How much for an ounce? 1972 Volkswagen Transporter, better known as the Bus.
Wow.
70 horsepower.
Rear engine.
4-speed manual.
And it seats seven.
This car was so cool in college.
I mean, not only is it like the perfect party mobile.
But I was in a band.
So we used that.
Played drums.
But you weren't a hippie.
I was not I mean, I did go to a couple of phish concerts wait.
So you were like the original hipster.
No.
I'm not a hipster.
I just like plaid.
These aren't skinny jeans.
Whatever.
What are we doing here? What are we doing here? "To see who had the best car in college, you will now embark on an epic spring break adventure" Spring break! Hello! "That starts here in San Diego and ends in San Felipe, Mexico.
" Nice.
"But first, to see which of your college cars "had the best all around performance, you will each attempt to score a touchdown.
" The good news for you Going to Mexico It's downhill.
Actually, it's not.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Pick up games of parking lot football are as much a part of going to school as class.
But this challenge flipped it on its head.
We each had to get our giant footballs into the end zone using only our cars.
First ball across the goal line would win.
Whoo! That was college right there.
Ok.
Here comes Rut.
And the sun's almost down.
We should do this now.
The Caddy's perfect for this football challenge because it's got a flat nose.
So as long as I keep the ball low and I don't hit it up into the wind, I should be ok.
Are you ready, fellas? Yeah, let's do it.
Three, two, one.
Kick off! Sometimes, just like in school, you have to take a step back in order to go forward.
Yes! Oh, lost it! Oh, hello, big fella.
There you are.
Ow.
It wasn't as easy as we had thought.
That's it, baby.
Keep it in front of ya.
And Adam's Cadillac was definitely more lineman than wide receiver.
Uh oh! Oh, he drove over it.
He drove over it.
With the Cadillac deflated, it was down to the Green Bay Window Bus vs.
my Eagle.
And I was sprinting for the end zone.
Oh, on the hood.
This is tricky.
It's amazing.
Oh, no.
It's about to go out of bounds.
About to go out of bounds.
With the eagle's goal line fumble, my bus was heading for victory.
That's what I'll do.
Maybe I'll just try to hold onto it.
Oh, no! Up high! Oh! Oh, no! Oh, come on! It was neck and neck, just yards from the goal line.
Whoever regained possession and carried their ball over the goal line first would win.
Come on, I got it.
Oh, man Yes! With my Talon one and 0, I got to pick the route.
So we got on the road and headed South towards Mexico and the inevitable dysentery.
Mexico, baby! Road trip! Once we crossed the border, our spring break road trip would take us another 264 miles.
First, through the tough streets of Tijuana, down the beautiful Pacific coast passed Ensenada, and then inland across the mountainous Baja Peninsula to the town of San Felipe on the sea of Cortez.
I think you guys would have really enjoyed coming to see my cover band play in college when I was driving around in one of these.
What was the name of your band? "Legend has it" was the name.
I played drums.
And about halfway through the set, I would come up and rap, do a little hip hop.
No.
This is my first spring break actually going on vacation.
I went to work.
I've never done, like, the Cancun style spring break.
I always sort of went canoeing and rock climbing.
How about you, Rut? You know what? I was broke in college.
I never really went anywhere.
Plus my mom did not think that was a good idea.
Even though the VW bus was incapable of speeds over 45 miles an hour, we somehow made it to the border before sundown.
Tanner, have you crossed the border before? Yes, I have ventured across the border here.
I've done the Baja 1000 race a few times.
Right down the street from here.
This is a pretty busy place.
Well, like, what happens? I'm being honest with you.
I really don't want anybody looking at my ass.
It's not like that.
Most people just drive right through.
The key is to distance ourselves from Rutledge right now.
Because he's getting searched.
Yeah.
Rutledge just might as well paint a pot leaf on that thing and have his license plate say "contraband.
" I'll give you 10 bucks if you tell the border control guy to legalize it.
Just work in, "legalize it, bro.
" Just at some point in the conversation.
That's funny.
That's That's funny.
With a large, nervous, bearded man in a small green van, we reached the checkpoint.
We're going into Mexico.
I feel like I should've learned more Spanish.
I don't have much.
I can say, "donde esta el bano?" Are you nervous, Rut? Nervioso, si.
Adam and I sailed through.
But as predicted, the VW bus ensured that Rutledge became the first person in history to be suspected of smuggling drugs into Mexico.
I got stopped.
Yes! Open the door, please.
Eventually, the VW bus made it through the checkpoint.
Am I good? Yes, you can go.
We finally made it across the border.
Welcome to Tijuana.
Our next challenge was all about testing our adaptability skills.
We'd be driving in a foreign city while being distracted.
Just like college students.
We'd pick up some local passengers and transport them to the Caliente Casino across town.
Tijuana is a city of 1.
7 million, almost three times the size of Boston.
It also has notorious barrios, which, if you end up in, could seriously ruin your spring break.
My pick up location was the el foro Jai Alai stadium.
Tanner's was the cathedral of our lady of Guadalupe.
And Rut was heading to Mariachi Plaza.
This wasn't going to be easy.
Two minutes in, and I can tell you everyone here drives like Adam.
This is crazy.
This is like New York City, except I can't understand when these people are cussing at me what they're saying.
But this was a race.
And there was no way I was going to lose the challenge in the ultimate party van.
All the street signs are in Spanish.
So I have no idea where I'm going.
Could I get a bigger map? We're right here, right? Excuse me.
Donde esta el catedro? Hola.
Uh, donde Mariachi Plaza? That way? Hello.
Oh my gosh.
I hit the roof.
I'm definitely not in the right spot right now.
My seventh grade Spanish got me to my pick up location first.
Mariachi Plaza.
I knew I'd find you, you old dog.
But I still had to find my passengers.
Finally, I arrived at the historic Jai Alai stadium.
Here we go.
Hoping for some refined locals who would appreciate the elegance and style of my Caddy.
Hola! Oh Instead, I got luchadors, heading to the casino for a stop the violence charity event.
Get off the car! No, don't push the car! Good lord My passengers were headed to their younger sister's quinceanera party at the casino's banquet hall.
A freaking circus.
They're never going to fit in here.
Ok.
Whatever.
Let's do this.
Give me just one second here.
Ok.
Make a little bit of room here.
Ok.
Uh, ingles? I don'tOk.
Oh, man.
This is going to be great.
Finally, I had found my passengers A seven-piece mariachi band with a wedding gig at the casino.
No problem for the bus.
Cuatro aqui.
O tres, tres, uno aqui.
Wow, look at those pants.
Those are fantastic pants.
It was going to be just like old times hauling my college band around.
All right.
Oh, wow.
Boy, that's Really good acoustics in here.
Coming up, Tanner gets us lost.
Where the (Bleep) are we going? Ow! And his Eagle Talon makes a break for it.
Oh! Oh! What is happening? "Top Gear" had us on an epic spring break road trip to find out who had the best college car.
So far, Tanner's Eagle Talon won the football challenge.
Yes! After crossing the border into Mexico, our second challenge had us racing through the streets of Tijuana with precious cargo.
The winner would be the first to get to the Caliente casino with their passengers.
Clearly, I had drawn the short straw.
It's been, like, 30 minutes with the same song.
Ay ay - I feel like we've been - You see this laser sign? We just saw that a minute ago.
- Are we going like this? - Yeah.
- Si, si, si.
- What? Si! All right.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Do you know any other songs? Otra! Otra! That's yeah.
Let's try one of those.
Como se dice Lynyrd Skynyrd? AC/DC.
You know, anything you want.
The sun was setting fast.
And we were all closing in on the casino.
The talon was in the lead, but Tanner was being Tanner.
Here, watch this.
Watch.
Mucho rapido.
Oh! Silencio! Silencio! Silencio! Who was that? Was that you? Was that you? Over in the bus, Rutledge was attempting another way to stop his mariachi's playing.
Necesito mas cerveza Despite our distractions, we were neck and neck.
It was anyone's game as we made a mad dash for the finish line.
I won! I won! This guy.
Adios, amigos.
Muchas gracias.
Get out of the car! Stop hitting the car! Get out of the car! Come on! You had luchadors.
Like, for real luchadors.
That is amazing.
Yeah.
They're luchadors.
It's not as amazing as you think.
I had a mariachi band.
We got here first.
That's great.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Yeah.
Where's race boy? I have not seen Tanner.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at that.
We did it! No, no, no! What What happened to you? Oh, my gosh.
He's covered in cake.
Bye! Feliz Navidad.
Did you just tell them Merry Christmas? I don't know.
How did the cake get all over you? I said watch this launch one time.
It was a tiny little launch.
Who got here first? I did.
Thank you very much.
In mi coche, which means "in my car" not Merry Christmas.
Celebracione.
Right here! Don't! Don't! As the first day of our college road trip came to an end, it was Volkswagen and Eagle-One, Cadillac-zero.
The next morning, we hit the road early.
So we've left the absolute chaos of Tijuana.
We're headed down the toll road to Ensenada.
This is a very famous road.
This is how every racer in the Baja 1000 gets to Ensenada, which is the start of the race.
The next stretch of our journey was a 72-mile run down the coast.
Then we cut inland to try to cross the peninsula before nightfall.
This feels like spring break.
You know, riding down a little highway right next to the ocean.
This is it.
Look to your left, fellas.
Even Jesus loves the Cadillac.
That is one huge Jesus.
Oh, boy.
Here comes the rain.
The road wound down the coast and through the mountains.
The Volkswagen's lack of performance reminded Rut of his college days.
I called my dad once.
Because as a marketing major, you had to take a certain number of sciences.
So I signed up for astronomy.
And it turns out, it was much more like physics in the sky than it was "hey, look at these stars.
" I called him and told him, "hey, I need to drop this or I'm going to lose my scholarship.
" And he said, "why don't you drop all your classes and move home?! 'Cause you clearly don't want to graduate ever.
" And did you? I did not.
I got a "D" in the class and lost my scholarship.
Oh I actually got kicked out of my dorm.
Really? What happened? I, uh, had a little bit too much Boone's farm one night.
And what happened with you and your screw top wine? Started a little pick up hockey game in the hallway of the dorm.
And ended up knocking off a fire sprinkler, putting a hole in the wall with the water pressure that came out, and put 2 1/2 feet of water in everybody's rooms.
That'll do it.
After Rut's 6-horsepower bus turned a 90-minute journey into a 3-hour marathon, we finally made it to Ensenada.
To get to San Felipe, we had to turn east and head over the Juarez mountains.
All this driving was starting to show what our college cars were really made of.
Uh oh.
Come on.
Come on! Let's go! Bus, magic bus.
Rut, that thing is so slow you've drifted out of radio contact.
Really? I'm going to have to downshift to third again.
This thing is in great shape.
And it's running like a top.
It's just really, really, really slow.
The lack of uphill speed wasn't the microbus's only issue.
Oh, this is scary.
Where'd the brakes go? Holy crap, I can't keep it in the lane.
Oh, big rig! Holy crap! Oh! This is so sketchy! Oh, I'm want to get back in America.
Happily, it turned out my volkswagen wasn't the only one struggling with the hills.
What is on? Do you smell it? Yeah.
Ahem.
There's a distinct smell of some sort of electrical burning.
Is that the insulation burning? Yeah.
From a short? I don't know.
You know what I think it could be, Adam.
What is that, pal? I think this car could be an enormous piece of (Bleep) I'll second that.
The Caddy had a blown fuse.
And without any spares, I came up with a plan.
Which tail light to do you like better? How about this trunk light? Yeah, lose it.
With a piece of wire, we could bypass the fuse altogether and make the Caddy work.
And most importantly, almost guarantee a fire.
We're going to hotwire it.
No, we're not.
It's going to blow up.
No.
It's not going to blow up.
It's going to melt down.
Ok, dude, I think that's it.
Do you do you want to do the honors? - I'm not starting it.
- I'll do it.
We're not blowing up my car.
Ok.
We all ready? Adam's Caddy was on the brink of explosion.
And Rut's bus was struggling over every hill.
So to put the last nail in the coffin and ensure my victory, I decided to lure them to an off-road trail guaranteed to wreck their cars.
There are a couple places here where the Baja 1000 track crosses the highway.
I think we should take one of those crossings.
It's the fastest way to get there.
Rut, I got a feeling we're taking a shortcut.
Ok.
Here it is.
We're going to turn left up here.
Vamanos! Oh, this is going to be fun.
Grr.
This is going to be fun.
Oh, now I can't see.
Tanner, so far I'm not too thrilled with this shortcut.
Oh, goodness! Here's some bumps.
Ok.
Ok.
Ah.
What kind of shortcut is this? I wouldn't do it.
My plan was working perfectly.
Either Adam and Rut would admit defeat or destroy their vehicles in the process.
Tanner, exactly how much time does this save us? This is going to save us 20, 25 minutes over the next four hours.
Wait a minute.
So it's going to save us 20 minutes? That's it? Can you put a value on 20 minutes of your life? But as we climbed higher and higher, somehow against all odds The microbus and Joe Pesci were still with me.
Oh, down to first.
Come on, baby.
Rut, how are you still keeping up? You know, it was just digging.
Just pulling itself up.
I do think I found the bad spots in some of the seat springs however.
After an hour of bone breaking misery, it couldn't get any worse.
Hey, there's somebody behind me.
Hey, I'm getting hit back here.
What? Get out of their way! There's somebody trying to get by.
What the hell is that? Whoa! Oh, there's another one! Son of a Yeah! That's how you do Holy crap! Nice shortcut.
Really nice shortcut.
Spring break '13, yeah! Spring break, '013.
With the sun setting fast, there was still no sign of civilization.
And to make things worse, race boy was getting confused.
Tanner, where the hell are we? Oh, this isn't right.
I got to be honest, Tanner.
This feels like we're lost.
You have no idea, do you? We're lost! Let's just see what's over this next hill.
Ow! (Bleep) Me.
Guess what? I'm done.
Where the (Bleep) Are we going? I think I think we should It's getting a little dark.
Let's just kind of survey, maybe, from the outside here.
Does any of this look familiar? Yeah.
I mean it's like hills and bushes and No.
Look, this trail was pretty That was the way from town that you would've gone where the track wentMaybe we just missed a turn back there.
Look, why don't we just backtrack a little bit.
We're going to come to either water where we can follow downhill.
You learned that in boy scouts.
Or a paved road.
And we'll just make our way to San Felipe.
You know the paved road we're going to hit is the one we left to take this shortcut.
That sounds good to me.
Let's go.
Come on.
Way to navigate Mexico, Cortez.
Thank you very much.
You know what? I'm feeling pretty confident, guys.
Confident what? That we're definitely lost? Yes, exactly.
Coming up, Adam gets a sugar rush at Mexico's most dangerous pinata party.
I want some candy! We were in the middle of spring break roundtrip down Mexico's Baja peninsula to see who had the best car in college.
Tanner's Talon and my Bus had each one won a challenge so far.
But now Tanner had taken us on a 10-hour detour into the desert.
After driving through the night, we finally made it to a muddy lakebed where our next challenge awaited.
Oh, nice.
It opens up out here.
Yeah! Whoo! Andale! Oh, we're going to die.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
There it is.
There's the bus.
Geez You trying to kill me? How awesome is that thing? This one I've been waiting for the whole time.
Just needed a little movement room.
That is Mexico.
That is fun.
This is spring break, fellas.
Mexican spring break style, fellas.
And what says "Mexico" more than car-mounted pinatas? Our next challenge would test our car's turning radius and handling by hanging pinatas on the rear end, bats on the front.
Last one to have an unbroken pinata would win.
This is what's going to happen.
Tanner's going to go after Rut first.
I just know it.
When he does that, that's when I'm going to swoop in and bust Tanner right in the pinata.
The key here is save the front of the car.
'Cause I've got an intercooler and plastic.
Rutledge has nothing in the front of his car.
His engine's in the back.
He's fine as long as he doesn't get rear ended too hard.
And Adam, I mean He could go head-on with a train in that car and be fine.
You ready, Rut? These two are about to see what 70 horsepower of fury looks like.
Ready.
You ready, Tanner? Yeah.
Watch this launch.
Tres, dos, uno.
Go! All right.
I'm going go and get behind Rut.
Sneak attack.
Whoa! Adam's coming.
Oh! Oh.
Oh! Oh! No! Come on, cupcake.
It's on.
No.
Whoa, crazy Ivan.
Oh, I feel like I am going to flip over.
Come on, Rut! Here's my shot.
Oh! Busted pinata.
I want some candy! Oh, no! I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm out.
Ha ha! That's one pinata down.
I'm coming for you, cupcake.
Oh, Adam wants a piece, huh? You want to play? Come and get it.
Oh, boy! Oh! Oh! Hit him again, Adam.
Oh! There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go! Oh! Oh, you did it! You killed my bus! You killed my bus.
What did you hit? Haha haha.
Yes! Yes! What are you doing? I just want the candy.
I just want the candy.
You beating up a defenseless ass.
That's a job well done.
Fell better? Yes, I do.
I can't believe you won.
Oh, yeah.
Look, you're the best driver here.
You got the most horsepower.
I knew you were going to attack Rut.
I just waited for my opportunity, and then I struck.
You didn't even use the stick, though.
You just crashed into the cars.
You, like, smashed my little sunshine.
And then you crashed into Rut.
And I won.
I used the stick.
I used the stick first.
The car was behind that.
I don't know how you did it, but you hit me so hard that you split the case.
I know.
There's candy all over the place.
Not the cupcake.
You split the case of my engine.
What? Yeah.
Well, what are you doing with a rear-engine bus out here in Mexico in the middle of a pinata race? This is your fault.
You were supposed to hit the pinata not the bus! I did hit the pinata.
You're the one dangling a pinata in front of your engine.
What did you expect? Well, guess what? Since you broke that, you're going to get the lucky prize of towing me out of here.
Can't.
No towage.
No tow rope.
Hook it to the bumper.
Oh, no.
It's a Cadillac.
That's not going to work.
Come on, let's go.
It's hot.
You don't you don't You're not serious.
Coming up, we finally reach San Felipe, despite Adam's Caddy continuing to have a few engine problems.
"Top Gear" had us on a spring break road trip in our old college cars to see which one was the best.
So far, each of our cars had won a challenge.
But Rut's VW hadn't survived our pinata party.
You killed my bus! We left him in the desert.
So now it was down to the Eagle vs.
the Caddy.
I'll be honest.
Out of the three of us, Rut has the best Spanish and probably the best chance of survival.
So in a way, it's a positive thing it happened to him.
Rutledge just needs to run into a local and he'll be golden.
Hands down, Mexican mechanics are the most resourceful mechanics on the planet.
I've seen them in the 1000 race use shoelaces, underwear, chewing gum, everything to fix half million dollar trucks and keep them running for 1,000 miles.
Removing 1.
5 tons of lime green dead weight from our convoy, really sped things up.
How far do we have to go? We got 15 miles.
Vamanos! Spring break! Hola, muchacho.
This was it.
After almost 300 miles, we were ready to party.
But San Felipe was not in a party mood.
It was only lunch time.
But it didn't look like it had seen a spring break since we were in college.
Uh, this is lame.
Our college cars had survived wrestlers, breakdowns, and Tanner's shortcut.
All for this? After several hours of relaxing, Adam became delusional.
Look how good that Caddy looks.
I had to park it sideways, so it didn't stick out in the street.
Looks like a little parts donor.
The talon, though dirty Like, with a little bit of dirt on it I mean, the flat black on the wheels.
The rain kind of cleaned off a little bit of the dust.
It looks I think it's pretty stately.
Hold on.
Is that what I think it is? He just made the volkswagen faster.
Yeah.
What? That's beautiful.
Here you go, buddy.
Rut, you made it a front engine.
Hard left.
Hard left.
There you go.
There's my buddy.
There's my buddy.
Hard left.
Ok.
Ok.
Yep.
There's good.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You going off-road? It's all right.
Hold on.
Got to set my parking brake here.
It's ok.
So, uh, funny story.
Go ahead.
I went to this junkyard.
And apparently my Spanish is not perfect.
So when I described horsepower and how I thought the motor was toast He said, "give me an ass.
" Apparently, I don't know how to say horse correctly.
And I got myself half of a bus and a burro.
That's great! That is perfect.
Well, let me ask you something.
How did it ride? It truly might be faster.
Easier to park, apparently.
Yeah, you can park it anywhere.
'Cause it's an animal.
It's not seen as a car now.
It's like an agricultural cart.
Well, it's naturally aspirated.
Look.
No thanks to you guys, I'm here.
Now what? I'm glad you asked.
"San Felipe is clearly not the party town it once was.
"So your final challenge is to make your cars into the ultimate spring break party starters.
" That's it? Well, that should be easy.
I have a donkey and half a Volkswagen.
I mean, you're already halfway there.
Oh, but if he does that That's organic.
That's terrible.
It's organic.
All right.
Let's go.
Overnight, we put our plans into place.
San Felipe wouldn't know what hit it.
The next morning, Tanner took us a couple miles out of town to reveal his idea for attracting the crowds.
What have you done? Not only am I having a party.
I'm starting a whole new business down here in Mexico.
We are going parasailing.
This is going to be a party for four.
Margarita mixer in the middle.
Four people partying around there.
Oh, you're going to put people in there? Yeah, four of them.
I'm going to test it out, obviously.
But we'll fill it with people, with partiers.
Is there anyone to give the people last rites on the way down? All right, so how is this going to work? Parachute-grade rope.
Ok? With a parachute.
About 300 feet, I got a truck up there.
Got Pablo at the wheel.
Basically, gonna give the signal, catch the air, we're flying.
Let's get out of here.
There's no safe place.
No.
I agree with you.
Tanner's plan to start a party had everything going for it except common sense and a basic understanding of physics.
Lift off in three, two, one.
Do it! - Oh! - In the air! Now it's going back down.
Hang on.
Give it a second.
Wait for it.
See? It's just readjusting, turning itself into the wind.
So did the hindenburg.
This is never going to work.
It's up! It's working! Of course it's working.
I can't believe that.
How is that possible? It's flying.
Tanner's plan was working far too well.
And it looked like he might actually be on to something.
He's going to bring it down now.
Watch.
Watch the skill.
Oh! Oh! Oh, what is happening? Look at that.
Touchdown, Pablo.
Oh, that's going to come down so hard.
Oh! Oh! Final touchdown.
We'd finally reached our spring break destination.
And our goal of finding out who had the ultimate college car had all come down to this.
After Rut's Volkswagen had been transformed into a donkeywagen, it was down to me and Tanner.
Whoever could revive San Felipe's party atmosphere would win.
It's up! It's working! Tanner may have made his Eagle fly That is good.
That is good stuff.
You are kidding me.
But he had forgotten that what goes up Oh! Oh! Oh, what is happening? Touchdown, Pablo.
Oh! Oh! Look at that.
Oh! Oh, yes! Yes! Wow! Yes! That's the end of the party.
The car is dragging on its roof.
I think it's ok.
Everyone's dead.
The party's over.
Como se dice "massive failure" en espanol? The eagle had landed.
Crashed landed and with no survivors.
Now, it was my turn to show these idiots how to get a party going.
And what better place to do it than at the beach? What is that? Did you just try driving into the sea of Cortez and you lost it? No.
That is a party barge.
Gentlemen, this is the way you start a party.
First of all, I'm topless.
Right away it's a party.
Hit the button.
Arming.
Who are you telling that to? You yelled it like we weren't standing right next to you.
I like doing that.
Ok.
All right, gentlemen, Hit the button.
Fire one.
Well, that's a dud.
Fire two! Oh Really pitiful.
I think we can go home now.
Ooh! A bottle rocket.
Nice work.
Way to go.
I have one more.
Ok? Uh-huh.
Ready? Yeah.
Well, thank you.
Holy crap! Oh! That was spectacular.
But now your boat is burning and sinking.
Wow.
Huh? Eh.
Eh.
Adam may have been putting a brave face on it, but leaving the burned out carcass of a car on a pristine beach is not the way to get the crowds back.
Well, two colossal failures.
Yeah.
And one fantastic success.
How do you consider yours a fantastic success? That, at least, got everyone's attention.
That scared people.
That wasn't a party atmosphere.
That was scaring people.
Now this This is a party atmosphere.
You put Christmas lights And a little hat.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Hey, burro.
Grab him.
Come on, buddy.
He's ready to go.
The truth was that of the three cars that left San Diego, only mine or half of mine was left.
Technically, my bus had won.
So we set our sights to heading home.
Estados unidos, por favor.
Shall we? Let's go.
Vamanos.
Vamanos.
Holy crap.
We're on our own now.
Now, look, every three or four miles we just rotate.
We'll be home before you know it.
This is a terrible party.
There's no beer.
There's no music.
Wow.
This is the fastest Volkswagen bus ever.
Do me a favor.
Don't drift the donkey.