Young Dracula (2006) s03e07 Episode Script
Bad to the Bones
Why has the Praedictum Impaver lit up like a Christmas tree? I mean, what's it doing? The pulsing light is a signal calling out to someone.
The question is who and why? - The clan leaders! - The book will lead them right to us! Visitors? I better get this place looking good.
We need more cobwebs.
Come on, get spinning.
Put away the welcome web, this is not good news.
Unless they think the signal means I've opened the book.
Except you haven't.
You've got every vampire in the world waiting to hear what's inside and you have not delivered.
I'm close, I just need more time.
There is no more time! They will want answers not excuses.
No answers and their strongest will punish us.
Looks like someone's going to get it in the neck.
You think this is funny? If Vlad doesn't open the book we will all be ash.
Do your job.
Teach him how to open the book.
Clock's ticking.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
I am ready.
Open and reveal my destiny.
I command you to open! Reveal my destiny! Reveal my destiny! Very powerful, very compelling and totally ineffective.
Ignore her.
You've got to dig deep into the blackest part of your soul.
What's the point? I can't open it.
Yes, you can.
You want to see your family turned to ash? You want to hear their screams as they pay for your failure? The book won't open because it sees the coward inside.
I am not a coward.
It can smell the fear on you.
The boy frightened of the monster in the cupboard.
Too scared to look.
- I'll show you who's frightened.
- Let the monster out! Do it! No! I can't.
I won't let go.
Then we all die.
I heard you and Erin talking.
I know the truth.
I know your secret.
You're a breather.
- WHISPERS: - 'I will help you.
Come to me.
' Did you hear that? - 'The answer lies within.
' - You must have heard it that time.
What do you mean he knows our secret? What did he say? He said "I heard you and Erin.
I know your secret, I know the truth.
" - He knows I'm a human.
I'm out of here! - It's dangerous out there! - I'll take my chances.
- I don't want you to become one of us.
Sometimes it's better to hide and fight another day.
- KNOCK ON DOOR - Mr Count? Oh, he's only had them for three weeks! The man's impossible.
Master.
Miss McCauley would like a word.
How about "massacre"? Or "annihilation" or "slaughter" or "bloodbath"? - Isn't blood bath two words? She says it's urgent? - Urgent! Some people don't know the meaning of the word.
- All this came in the post for you.
- You deal with it! When did dad become a bat collector? Let me see that.
This is a rare specimen.
- Oh.
"Smash glass".
- Wait! I am Ramanga.
Welcome.
We are honoured with your presence.
Domus mea, domus tua est.
What he said.
I found these in your office.
I take it you've not read them yet.
I need your input on the staffing levels.
- I've no idea what that is.
- It refers to the number of teachers we employ.
- Very good, carry on without me.
- It can't wait.
Time is critical.
I have to hire new staff and I need you to approve them.
Right, all right, all right.
I'm not staying down here in the cellar! It's only until I can work out a plan to get you safely away.
But it's creepy! And living with us isn't? - I'll be back soon, I promise.
- You better be.
Or I'll be wrapped up with the rest of the spider food.
- WHISPERS: - 'I have what you need.
' - You hear that? - Someone coming? 'Come to me.
' No, it's like a whispering voice.
'Come to me.
' - Are you feeling all right? - Stay put.
You're hiding in a school for breathers? We're being cautious.
The only thing breathers need learn is how to feed us.
We like to play with our food before we eat it.
- Hmm.
Where is the Chosen One? - I'll bring him before you.
It's turned out nice again.
Can I take your Don'ttouch.
Go and tell the Count that our honoured guest has arrived.
I really don't have time for this minutiae.
The devil's in the details, Mr Count.
- He's in a lot more than that.
- We've had a delivery! A special delivery! You have to sign for it! Can nobody do anything in this place without me?! If it needs a signature, I'm sure your scrawl will suffice.
Someone's here! You know! The Rarghthing.
Huh? Right, we've got to go.
Urgent business to attend.
I really need your approval on these candidates! We'll do this later! Vlad.
The clan leader's here.
Don't tell him you can't open the book.
Play for time.
What's the point? I'm never going to get it open.
You can if you get those stupid ideas out of your head.
What ideas? You want vampires and breathers to live together in peace.
- You want the bloodshed to end forever.
- You were spying on us? You and Erin are vampires! - You can't change that.
- Yeah.
We are vampires.
Vampires who want humans to be our friends, not food.
You want to stake your life on that? If that's what it takes.
You tell that to Ramanga and it'll be the last thing you do.
I'll be with you in a minute.
I've got something I need to do.
Don't keep him waiting.
- WHISPERS: - 'I'm in the mirror room.
' Vlad? 'Look for the mirror.
' 'That's right.
I'm over here.
' Argh! Eww! 'I'm down here, in the dark.
'That's right.
I'm in here.
'In here! Look for the mirror!' Vlad? Stay there.
No! Has the Praedictum Impaver been opened? - I am not at liberty to discuss - Has he opened the book?! - Some of the bones have opened - Yes, or no?! - It's a work in progress.
- No.
He can't open the book.
- Is this true? - Well, he's been working very hard.
- You were meant to train him.
- We have! Bertrand You've failed.
We demand to know why.
- I wouldn't say failed - Where is the Chosen One?! - Still he keeps me waiting?! - He said he'd just be a moment! - Miss McCauley's here to see you.
- Not now, Renfield, get rid of her! - I'm sure he'll be here soon.
- This is most disrespectful! She's at the door! She says it's urgent! Tell her I'm - Tell her I'm indisposed! - Indisposed.
You're not allowed in here.
These are Mr Count's private quarters.
Mr Count? A word.
Ah.
A breather.
Good, I am thirsty after my long journey.
You can't have this one, she's mine.
I'll be one moment.
Renfield, a drink for our guest.
I need your approval for these candidates so I can start hiring.
As you can see, I have a visitor so I must insist we do this later.
Then I'll wait here until you're finished.
All right, all right.
Let's quickly do it here.
Show me the candidates.
- The papers are in my office.
- Oh! - It has to be done today.
- Give me two minutes and I'll be right with you.
- Where's Vlad?! - He's been chucked into the mirror! What? Vlad got chucked into the mirror.
- What? - Oh, just go with Erin and find Vlad! The half fang? This is no time to get snobbish.
Go! I've got to deal with Miss McCauley.
Look after our guest while I'm gone.
This is your mess, I'm not helping you clean it up.
I'd be only too glad if he ashed you all.
For once in your life, will you toe the party line and play ball?! It's your neck on the block too! Like I said, they just chucked him in.
Erin, Erin! I'm in here! I'm a dog.
Those gargoyles won't let you near the mirror.
Erin! Erin! I'm in here! They guard it.
They must have thought you were a threat.
Maybe if we smash it, it will release him? No.
If you do that the whole family will turn to dust.
I'm in here! Hello! Let me out! There's no sign of him.
Wherever he is, we can't follow.
Don't go! Don't go! Don't go! - WHISPERS: - 'The answer lies within.
Come to me.
Come to me.
' 'Come to me.
The answer lies within.
' 'I will help you.
' - I approve.
- You have to take this seriously.
I need you to focus on the needs of the school for once.
- Nothing's more important than the future of the school.
- Quite right.
- I'm sorry.
I'll read them properly.
- Thank you.
Ta-da! SHE SIGHS This is more boring than watching blood dry.
- Argh! - I'll show you a real magic trick.
I can make my fangs disappear into your neck.
He's an acquired taste.
I'd advise you not to bite him.
You show mercy to breathers? You want to chew on that dirt bag? Be my guest.
What kind of vampires are you? I came to meet the Chosen One and what do I find? Cowards hiding in an attic.
Do I look frightened to you? I wonder how your clan will react when they hear you've been beaten by a girl? I like you.
You go for the jugular.
Finding a person's weak spot is my speciality.
Mmm.
I wonder what's yours.
Let me see if I can guess.
Ambition.
Hmm.
You reek of it.
But what is it you want so badly? To travel.
See the world.
Go to exotic places, meet interesting new people and thenbite them.
You should come to my country.
Lots of snakes you'd be right at home! Maybe I could join your clan? - What's wrong with this one? - You really want to know? Tell me everything.
Thank you for being so understanding.
- I think we chose two excellent teachers.
- Indeed.
The one with the short neck's a problem but I do enjoy a challenge.
HEAVY THUD THUD EVIL LAUGHTER It could be Vlad's true vampire side we've been waiting for.
- True enough to open the book? - Let's hope so, Bertrand.
- Our lives depend on it.
- I'm a dog! I thought I could blow him away with my Nutcracker Suite.
- That's disturbing on so many levels.
- Come on, think! We need a plan! I could pretend to be Vlad.
That is the worst idea I've heard in 400 years.
He'll spot it and tear you to pieces! - I don't want to be Vlad! - Have you got a better plan?! We could make a life-size puppet of Vlad? That is the worst idea I've heard in 600 years.
It might just work.
No.
Maybe.
Perfect.
Right.
Just say hello, let him pay his respects, then get rid of him.
I take it back.
This is a great plan.
- He's so lifelike.
- Pass me that shoe.
- Thank you very much.
I feel so much better.
- You're welcome.
If the Chosen One has disappeared, who opens the Praedictum Impaver? - We don't need to open it.
- Our destiny is written in that book.
Myths and legends have led us nowhere.
We can write our own destiny.
To once again rule the world.
- You make it sound so easy.
- It iswith the right leader.
And you think that's you? With Vlad gone, I am the legitimate heir to the throne.
What makes you think vampires will be ruled by a girl? I'm not a girl.
I'm a Dracula.
You think your father will step aside and let it happen? No, he'll put up a fight.
- You can beat him? - Together we can beat him.
I could beat both of you and take the throne for myself.
And risk the backlash? You're smarter than that.
Better to be the power behind the throne than a pile of ash upon it.
Hmm.
OK, I'll back your move.
But double-cross me and I will personally see to your very painful abdication.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Ah.
Sorry I was gone so long.
- Ingrid been looking after you all right? - Hmm.
She's been most illuminating.
Has she indeed.
Anything you'd like to discuss? Yes, there is one thing where's the Chosen One? The Chosen One will see you now.
Please, follow me.
It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it, Vlad? Ha-ha! Come through.
It's not much but The Praedictum Impaver! Stay where you are! Only I may open the book! Forgive me, I meant no disrespect.
The book has called me to you.
Vlad, what's happened to your voice? Don't say a word.
Why do you seek an audience with me? Tell us, Chosen One, have you opened the Praedictum Impaver? I have opened it, yes.
What does it say? Show me.
All will be revealed in time.
Silence! Now is the time! OK.
I really think we should be leaving now.
- The Chosen One needs his rest.
- Let the Chosen One speak! Kneel before me and I will reveal our destiny.
Speak, master.
So we may know the truth.
Stay away from me! You're special, Vlad.
You don't have one evil reflection You have a thousand.
Together we will be the most powerful vampire ever.
No.
No! Bow your heads to honour your leader.
We are your humble servants.
That's right! You are the servants and I am the master.
From now on, it's me who gives the orders around here, sonny and when I speak you will listen .
.
or face the fury of the Chosen One! Now I will now reveal the contents of the Predictable Pavlova.
What? ThePradicum Pavelola.
That's not what the book's called.
The Praidicom Impova? No.
The Praidium Impaver? The Praedium Impover! The Praedium Impover! The Predictable Impaver! Got it! You're not the Chosen One.
Oops.
I told you this wouldn't work.
Can we save the "I told you so" for later? Kill the impostors! Master, reveal to us our destiny.
Tell the others our time is coming.
EVIL LAUGH
The question is who and why? - The clan leaders! - The book will lead them right to us! Visitors? I better get this place looking good.
We need more cobwebs.
Come on, get spinning.
Put away the welcome web, this is not good news.
Unless they think the signal means I've opened the book.
Except you haven't.
You've got every vampire in the world waiting to hear what's inside and you have not delivered.
I'm close, I just need more time.
There is no more time! They will want answers not excuses.
No answers and their strongest will punish us.
Looks like someone's going to get it in the neck.
You think this is funny? If Vlad doesn't open the book we will all be ash.
Do your job.
Teach him how to open the book.
Clock's ticking.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
I am ready.
Open and reveal my destiny.
I command you to open! Reveal my destiny! Reveal my destiny! Very powerful, very compelling and totally ineffective.
Ignore her.
You've got to dig deep into the blackest part of your soul.
What's the point? I can't open it.
Yes, you can.
You want to see your family turned to ash? You want to hear their screams as they pay for your failure? The book won't open because it sees the coward inside.
I am not a coward.
It can smell the fear on you.
The boy frightened of the monster in the cupboard.
Too scared to look.
- I'll show you who's frightened.
- Let the monster out! Do it! No! I can't.
I won't let go.
Then we all die.
I heard you and Erin talking.
I know the truth.
I know your secret.
You're a breather.
- WHISPERS: - 'I will help you.
Come to me.
' Did you hear that? - 'The answer lies within.
' - You must have heard it that time.
What do you mean he knows our secret? What did he say? He said "I heard you and Erin.
I know your secret, I know the truth.
" - He knows I'm a human.
I'm out of here! - It's dangerous out there! - I'll take my chances.
- I don't want you to become one of us.
Sometimes it's better to hide and fight another day.
- KNOCK ON DOOR - Mr Count? Oh, he's only had them for three weeks! The man's impossible.
Master.
Miss McCauley would like a word.
How about "massacre"? Or "annihilation" or "slaughter" or "bloodbath"? - Isn't blood bath two words? She says it's urgent? - Urgent! Some people don't know the meaning of the word.
- All this came in the post for you.
- You deal with it! When did dad become a bat collector? Let me see that.
This is a rare specimen.
- Oh.
"Smash glass".
- Wait! I am Ramanga.
Welcome.
We are honoured with your presence.
Domus mea, domus tua est.
What he said.
I found these in your office.
I take it you've not read them yet.
I need your input on the staffing levels.
- I've no idea what that is.
- It refers to the number of teachers we employ.
- Very good, carry on without me.
- It can't wait.
Time is critical.
I have to hire new staff and I need you to approve them.
Right, all right, all right.
I'm not staying down here in the cellar! It's only until I can work out a plan to get you safely away.
But it's creepy! And living with us isn't? - I'll be back soon, I promise.
- You better be.
Or I'll be wrapped up with the rest of the spider food.
- WHISPERS: - 'I have what you need.
' - You hear that? - Someone coming? 'Come to me.
' No, it's like a whispering voice.
'Come to me.
' - Are you feeling all right? - Stay put.
You're hiding in a school for breathers? We're being cautious.
The only thing breathers need learn is how to feed us.
We like to play with our food before we eat it.
- Hmm.
Where is the Chosen One? - I'll bring him before you.
It's turned out nice again.
Can I take your Don'ttouch.
Go and tell the Count that our honoured guest has arrived.
I really don't have time for this minutiae.
The devil's in the details, Mr Count.
- He's in a lot more than that.
- We've had a delivery! A special delivery! You have to sign for it! Can nobody do anything in this place without me?! If it needs a signature, I'm sure your scrawl will suffice.
Someone's here! You know! The Rarghthing.
Huh? Right, we've got to go.
Urgent business to attend.
I really need your approval on these candidates! We'll do this later! Vlad.
The clan leader's here.
Don't tell him you can't open the book.
Play for time.
What's the point? I'm never going to get it open.
You can if you get those stupid ideas out of your head.
What ideas? You want vampires and breathers to live together in peace.
- You want the bloodshed to end forever.
- You were spying on us? You and Erin are vampires! - You can't change that.
- Yeah.
We are vampires.
Vampires who want humans to be our friends, not food.
You want to stake your life on that? If that's what it takes.
You tell that to Ramanga and it'll be the last thing you do.
I'll be with you in a minute.
I've got something I need to do.
Don't keep him waiting.
- WHISPERS: - 'I'm in the mirror room.
' Vlad? 'Look for the mirror.
' 'That's right.
I'm over here.
' Argh! Eww! 'I'm down here, in the dark.
'That's right.
I'm in here.
'In here! Look for the mirror!' Vlad? Stay there.
No! Has the Praedictum Impaver been opened? - I am not at liberty to discuss - Has he opened the book?! - Some of the bones have opened - Yes, or no?! - It's a work in progress.
- No.
He can't open the book.
- Is this true? - Well, he's been working very hard.
- You were meant to train him.
- We have! Bertrand You've failed.
We demand to know why.
- I wouldn't say failed - Where is the Chosen One?! - Still he keeps me waiting?! - He said he'd just be a moment! - Miss McCauley's here to see you.
- Not now, Renfield, get rid of her! - I'm sure he'll be here soon.
- This is most disrespectful! She's at the door! She says it's urgent! Tell her I'm - Tell her I'm indisposed! - Indisposed.
You're not allowed in here.
These are Mr Count's private quarters.
Mr Count? A word.
Ah.
A breather.
Good, I am thirsty after my long journey.
You can't have this one, she's mine.
I'll be one moment.
Renfield, a drink for our guest.
I need your approval for these candidates so I can start hiring.
As you can see, I have a visitor so I must insist we do this later.
Then I'll wait here until you're finished.
All right, all right.
Let's quickly do it here.
Show me the candidates.
- The papers are in my office.
- Oh! - It has to be done today.
- Give me two minutes and I'll be right with you.
- Where's Vlad?! - He's been chucked into the mirror! What? Vlad got chucked into the mirror.
- What? - Oh, just go with Erin and find Vlad! The half fang? This is no time to get snobbish.
Go! I've got to deal with Miss McCauley.
Look after our guest while I'm gone.
This is your mess, I'm not helping you clean it up.
I'd be only too glad if he ashed you all.
For once in your life, will you toe the party line and play ball?! It's your neck on the block too! Like I said, they just chucked him in.
Erin, Erin! I'm in here! I'm a dog.
Those gargoyles won't let you near the mirror.
Erin! Erin! I'm in here! They guard it.
They must have thought you were a threat.
Maybe if we smash it, it will release him? No.
If you do that the whole family will turn to dust.
I'm in here! Hello! Let me out! There's no sign of him.
Wherever he is, we can't follow.
Don't go! Don't go! Don't go! - WHISPERS: - 'The answer lies within.
Come to me.
Come to me.
' 'Come to me.
The answer lies within.
' 'I will help you.
' - I approve.
- You have to take this seriously.
I need you to focus on the needs of the school for once.
- Nothing's more important than the future of the school.
- Quite right.
- I'm sorry.
I'll read them properly.
- Thank you.
Ta-da! SHE SIGHS This is more boring than watching blood dry.
- Argh! - I'll show you a real magic trick.
I can make my fangs disappear into your neck.
He's an acquired taste.
I'd advise you not to bite him.
You show mercy to breathers? You want to chew on that dirt bag? Be my guest.
What kind of vampires are you? I came to meet the Chosen One and what do I find? Cowards hiding in an attic.
Do I look frightened to you? I wonder how your clan will react when they hear you've been beaten by a girl? I like you.
You go for the jugular.
Finding a person's weak spot is my speciality.
Mmm.
I wonder what's yours.
Let me see if I can guess.
Ambition.
Hmm.
You reek of it.
But what is it you want so badly? To travel.
See the world.
Go to exotic places, meet interesting new people and thenbite them.
You should come to my country.
Lots of snakes you'd be right at home! Maybe I could join your clan? - What's wrong with this one? - You really want to know? Tell me everything.
Thank you for being so understanding.
- I think we chose two excellent teachers.
- Indeed.
The one with the short neck's a problem but I do enjoy a challenge.
HEAVY THUD THUD EVIL LAUGHTER It could be Vlad's true vampire side we've been waiting for.
- True enough to open the book? - Let's hope so, Bertrand.
- Our lives depend on it.
- I'm a dog! I thought I could blow him away with my Nutcracker Suite.
- That's disturbing on so many levels.
- Come on, think! We need a plan! I could pretend to be Vlad.
That is the worst idea I've heard in 400 years.
He'll spot it and tear you to pieces! - I don't want to be Vlad! - Have you got a better plan?! We could make a life-size puppet of Vlad? That is the worst idea I've heard in 600 years.
It might just work.
No.
Maybe.
Perfect.
Right.
Just say hello, let him pay his respects, then get rid of him.
I take it back.
This is a great plan.
- He's so lifelike.
- Pass me that shoe.
- Thank you very much.
I feel so much better.
- You're welcome.
If the Chosen One has disappeared, who opens the Praedictum Impaver? - We don't need to open it.
- Our destiny is written in that book.
Myths and legends have led us nowhere.
We can write our own destiny.
To once again rule the world.
- You make it sound so easy.
- It iswith the right leader.
And you think that's you? With Vlad gone, I am the legitimate heir to the throne.
What makes you think vampires will be ruled by a girl? I'm not a girl.
I'm a Dracula.
You think your father will step aside and let it happen? No, he'll put up a fight.
- You can beat him? - Together we can beat him.
I could beat both of you and take the throne for myself.
And risk the backlash? You're smarter than that.
Better to be the power behind the throne than a pile of ash upon it.
Hmm.
OK, I'll back your move.
But double-cross me and I will personally see to your very painful abdication.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Ah.
Sorry I was gone so long.
- Ingrid been looking after you all right? - Hmm.
She's been most illuminating.
Has she indeed.
Anything you'd like to discuss? Yes, there is one thing where's the Chosen One? The Chosen One will see you now.
Please, follow me.
It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it, Vlad? Ha-ha! Come through.
It's not much but The Praedictum Impaver! Stay where you are! Only I may open the book! Forgive me, I meant no disrespect.
The book has called me to you.
Vlad, what's happened to your voice? Don't say a word.
Why do you seek an audience with me? Tell us, Chosen One, have you opened the Praedictum Impaver? I have opened it, yes.
What does it say? Show me.
All will be revealed in time.
Silence! Now is the time! OK.
I really think we should be leaving now.
- The Chosen One needs his rest.
- Let the Chosen One speak! Kneel before me and I will reveal our destiny.
Speak, master.
So we may know the truth.
Stay away from me! You're special, Vlad.
You don't have one evil reflection You have a thousand.
Together we will be the most powerful vampire ever.
No.
No! Bow your heads to honour your leader.
We are your humble servants.
That's right! You are the servants and I am the master.
From now on, it's me who gives the orders around here, sonny and when I speak you will listen .
.
or face the fury of the Chosen One! Now I will now reveal the contents of the Predictable Pavlova.
What? ThePradicum Pavelola.
That's not what the book's called.
The Praidicom Impova? No.
The Praidium Impaver? The Praedium Impover! The Praedium Impover! The Predictable Impaver! Got it! You're not the Chosen One.
Oops.
I told you this wouldn't work.
Can we save the "I told you so" for later? Kill the impostors! Master, reveal to us our destiny.
Tell the others our time is coming.
EVIL LAUGH