Amphibia (2019) s03e08 Episode Script

1
[theme song playing]
[frogs croaking]
[frogs croaking]
-Welcome to Hollywood.
-[Polly] Wow!
Impressive, right, HP?
Why, it's almost as if your world
actually respects actors.
Respects them? Ha!
Around here, people worship actors…
[voice echoes] as gods.
-[crowd cheering]
-[shutters clicking]
If only that were me.
I know my acting career
didn't really pan out,
but maybe I'd have a shot in this world.
Possibly.
But Mr. X is after us, and he's seen you,
so we need to keep a low profile.
-[both] He's gone.
-He's what?
Hollywood, here I come!
-[Hop Pop laughing]
-[grunts, sighs]
You know what?
I do not have the energy for this.
-[continues laughing]
-Hey!
[hip-hop music playing]
[grunts]
Ooh.
-Ah!
-[grunts]
Oh, I am so sorry.
Ah, don't worry about it.
Happens a lot at these old fogy auditions.
What? Auditions?
Are you all actors?
Guilty as charged.
Still waiting for my big break, though.
Humphrey Westwood. Nice to meet ya.
You an actor too?
Oh, it's only my singular passion.
I'm Hopediah Plantar.
Say, I thought I knew
all the senior male actors around here.
You from out of town?
Yep, way out of town.
What, like Sacramento, or--
Okay, are you Humphrey Westwood?
Me? No.
Why? Do we look alike?
[gasps] Hopediah, you should audition.
Go ahead. Take my spot in line.
Oh, no, no. I couldn't.
Nonsense.
This town can be harsh on newcomers.
So consider this a "Welcome to Hollywood"
from me to you.
Well, if you insist.
Whoa!
All right. I'll set the scene for ya.
You got this elbow cream, right?
You put it on. You feel like brand new.
You're so surprised, you say…
Ooh! Wow! Great!
Hmm, no. Not feeling it.
Such a shame too because everything else
about you is literally perfect.
Say what?
-[echoing]
-[wind gusts]
-[lens shatters]
-[all gasp]
That is the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.
Everyone, we've got a new catchphrase.
-Huh? Ooh.
-[cheering]
Yep, can't see a thing.
Hollywood? More like Pollywood!
Hmm? There's Hop Pop.
And it looks like
he didn't even cause any trouble.
Hop Pop?
Whoa, sorry.
You look just like someone I know.
All right, this guy got the part.
Everyone else can go home.
-What the--
-Wow!
-Way to go, HP.
-Whoa!
Are you kidding?
Hey! Congratulations, Hopediah.
Humphrey, wait.
I just realized, I took your spot.
Heck, I might've just stolen
your opportunity.
Ah, pish-posh.
It was one in a mil either way.
I'm just happy it went to a nice guy.
Plus, I've already waited
45 years for a break.
What's a few more?
Forty-five years?
I know the feeling, Humphrey.
[sighs]
I still don't think this is a good idea.
But as long as it's for something small
that no one sees,
maybe it'll be harmless.
[dog barks]
[crunching]
Do your elbows crack when you bend them?
[cracks]
[advertiser]
Try Cracka-Lackin' elbow cream.
Hop Pop!
-Ooh!
-Whoa!
[advertiser] But wait, there's more.
-Say what?
-Say what?
Whoa, Hop Pop!
You're on TV!
How did I get inside the picture box?
And why am I saying lines
from that play I did yesterday?
Bad news, guys. It's on every channel.
Hop Pop, that wasn't a play.
They were filming you for a commercial.
You lost me, Anne.
[Anne groans] This is not low profile.
Oh! Do we live with somebody famous?
Should we be charging rent?
Should we be charging rent?
[grunts] What if Mr. X sees one of these?
-Who?
-The secret agent who wants to catch us?
Anne, he's a busy federal employee.
I'm sure he doesn't have time for TV.
[croaks]
[croaks]
Just because I'm a federal employee
doesn't mean I can't enjoy
the odd episode of Judge Julie.
-[crunch]
-["Judge Julie theme" plays]
[advertiser] Dry? Crusty?
Now you don't have to be.
Say what?
[shutter clicks]
And they said I was a fool
to not pay for ad-free streaming.
[horn honking]
I still think this is overkill.
Sorry, but we need
to get the commercials pulled
before this gets out of contr-- Holy crud!
[Sprig and Polly] Whoa!
-[sighs]
-Awesome!
-Cool.
-Terrible.
I can't believe all it took
was getting trapped in another world
to get my big break.
But am I deserving?
Am I living a dream that should've gone
to Humphrey?
Am I-- On a T-shirt?
[chuckles]
[Polly, Sprig] Ooh!
Whoa! They have mugs too!
You have a catchphrase?
This would actually be pretty neat
if it weren't so--
-[phone rings and vibrates]
-Hello?
Hi. This is Mitch Harbor,
calling for Hopediah Plantar.
Wait, Mitch Harbor? The Mitch Harbor?
-Director of--
-Fumigator I, II and IV?
Yep. Now could I please speak to--
-[screams]
-Hopediah Plantar.
It's me. I'm Hopediah.
Not anyone else. Only me.
HP, I love your work!
I want you to audition for a role
in my latest film.
Say what?
[echoing]
-[all gasp]
-Did you hear that?
It sounded like
that guy in the commercial.
Oh, is it really him?
[crowd murmuring]
Meet you at 10:00 a.m.
at your office in the studio water tower?
Just show up and I get the part?
Ah!
Hop Pop, don't even think about-- [gasps]
I'm sorry, Anne.
This is too big to pass up.
No, Hop Pop! Get back here!
[bystander] Hey! Don't push, man!
[all grunt]
-[beeps]
-Jenny, he's headed for the studio lot.
Meet me with reinforcements.
We got him for real this time.
We've gotta get to Hop Pop
before Mr. X does. Come on.
[tires screech]
[beeps]
[Anne chuckles]
-[worker grunting]
-Wha-- Mm-hmm.
[gasps, grunts]
[grunts]
[tires screech]
[tires screech]
Oh, no! Hop Pop!
-[shouts] Who the heck are you people?
-No questions, earthman!
-[worker] Whoa!
-[engine revs]
-[Sprig] Oh, my frog!
-[Anne screams]
[roars, grunts]
[tires screech]
[engine revs]
All right. Cue the pyrotechnics.
Hey, this is actually pretty realistic.
[screaming]
Holy smokes!
[screams]
[grunting]
[tires screech]
Wait! Suspicion Island is not real?
-Doy!
-Don't be so gullible, dude.
[birds chirping]
[tires screech]
-[all scream]
-[ceramic shatters]
Primthistle Manor!
-Lord Frankerton.
-And Lady Franklin!
[Southern American accent]
What do y'all think you're doing?
This here's a closed set.
-Wait, your accent isn't real?
-Who's gullible now, Anne?
[sighs, screams]
[tires screech]
[screams]
[gasps, growls]
[screams]
[groaning]
This is it, Hopediah.
After today, you'll be
the biggest frog actor who ever lived!
Ooh! Oh, I'm so sorry!
I didn't see you there.
Humphrey?
Looks like you found out
my day job, Hopediah.
Where are you off to?
Oh, me? I, uh, have an audition up there.
With Mitch? Bravo, my friend! Bravo!
Golly, what a break.
I'm so happy for you.
Even if I never make it, it's enough
to know an old fart like me did.
Now get up there!
Mitch is waiting for you!
[sighs] No, Humphrey.
He is waitin' for you.
Huh? What are you talking about?
It's only because of your kindness
that I even had this chance.
And it's high time I return the favor.
All right, Mr. Plantar,
after hearing you read those pages,
I'm gonna have to say…
you got the dang part!
There he is! Get him!
-[glass shattering]
-[punches landing]
-Oh, no!
-They got Hop Pop!
You kids sure about that?
Wait. Then who did they catch?
[cackles]
Thought you could escape me, huh?
Ow! Let go of my nose!
Wait, it's not a false nose? But--
I don't believe this. You dare treat
Hollywood's newest star this way?
You'll be hearing from
my robust team of lawyers after this.
No. It can't be! Not again!
All right, stand down.
Mr. X was wrong. Again.
[growls]
[car doors slam, tires screech]
Jenny, I'm gonna need
some ice cream, girl.
A lot of ice cream.
I don't get it.
You abandoned the audition?
I didn't abandon it.
I just gave it to someone
who's waited as long as I have.
[whispering] Thank you.
I've already had
a taste of the spotlight, kids.
It's time for this old frog to stop
pining after what he doesn't have
and start seriously protecting
the things he does.
Bravo, Hop Pop. Bravo.
Besides, this whole experience
has taught me
that the real power is behind the camera.
[Anne] Wait. You don't mean--
[Hop Pop] That's right, Anne!
From now on, I wanna be a director.
[frogs croaking]
Question:
Why are the Plantars flooding our lawn?
Sorry, that's on me.
They've been really homesick lately,
and I thought a swamp might cheer 'em up.
They don't look very cheery.
[both sigh]
[groans]
They were for a bit,
but then they weren't.
So now I'm making them cookies,
the answer to all of life's problems.
Anne, you can't keep giving them things
just because you feel bad.
They need to learn
how to cope on their own.
Maybe you're right. I'll go talk to them.
Mmm! How did you get them so crunchy?
Oh, that's the cicadas! Thanks, Mom!
Do I smell cookies? [shouts]
[garden hose tap squeaks]
Guys, I know you're homesick,
but I don't think any of this is helping.
[sighs] Anne's right, kids.
This was nice, but let's clean this up
and get back to the village.
Sorry, the what now?
Why, our miniature re-creation
of Wartwood, of course!
May I have this dance, tiny Sylvia?
-Aw.
-[sobs]
Okay, this can't be healthy.
[phone ringing, vibrating]
Hey, Dr. Jan.
Tell me you've got good news.
Great news, actually. I've got a lead!
One of my colleagues knows
a string theory expert
who works in the area!
-Uh…
-In other words,
we found someone who might be
your ticket back to Amphibia.
Wow! Just wait till I tell the Plantars!
I wouldn't just yet.
There are a lot of loose cannons
in the scientific community,
and I'd like to vet this
"Dr. Frakes" before we meet her.
Okay, let me know when you're ready,
Dr. Jan.
-Was that Dr. Jan?
-[shouts]
-Sounded like she had news!
-A lot of news!
Sorry, guys. No good news to report.
-Aw.
-Oh, man.
[Hop Pop]
All right, kids, back to the tiny village.
Just kidding! Dr. Jan found someone who
might know how to get us back to Amphibia!
Holy cow!
Think they could get us home
by the weekend?
What are we waiting for?
Let's meet this wizard!
Well, we can't go right now. Dr. Jan says…
…that today is great!
I have her name. Let me look her up,
and we can head on over.
[Polly, Hop Pop] You're the best, Anne!
[Sprig] All right!
This is fine. It's a good idea.
They need a nugget. Right, fake Wally?
-[wind whistles]
-[metal squeaks]
Oh, who asked you?
According to the Internet,
our scientist works right here?
[all] Whoa.
[children chattering, giggling]
-[shouts]
-[beeping]
[screams]
-[scream echoes]
-[phone clatters]
And whoever can answer
the question gets a snack.
He got snacks!
[screaming]
Whoa. So this is where they keep
all the dark Earth magic.
I can't believe we'll be going home soon.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
We're only here to ask some questions.
Now, stay close.
The government's still on our tail.
[all] Hmm.
[sighs] I keep telling you kids,
we don't have extra snacks back here.
Oh, hello.
Are you here to see Dr. Frakes?
-Absolutely!
-We want to meet the doctor!
[Anne groans]
-I mean, maybe.
-[Sprig] No big deal.
-Meh.
-Is she available?
Only by appointment. Sorry.
Oh. Well, we tried.
[groans] Wait!
Actually we are reporters,
and we were just wondering
if you could answer some questions
about inter-dimensional travel?
-Aren't you a bit young to be a reporter?
-[grunts] Silence, Terri!
At last, the media has caught wind
of my amazing discovery!
What kind of discovery?
Oh, nothing big.
Just a portal to another dimension!
[all] Did you say portal?
Now come with me! Terri! Music!
[Terri sighs]
[dramatic music plays]
The great Dr. Frakes may currently
be stuck running the Brainasium
and looking after hordes
of snot-nosed brats,
but that doesn't mean
my research has stopped!
Oh, no! Behold, Frakes Ferrofluid!
Over here is an example
of a Frakes Fractal.
Look over here! My Frakes Field!
Wow! So many things named after you!
Well, science is the pursuit
of naming things after yourself.
Huh.
I thought it was the pursuit of knowledge.
-[music stops]
-Don't be stupid, Terri!
[beeps]
Voilà! The Frakes Portal Chamber!
-[Anne] Whoa.
-[Plantars gasping]
It all began a few months ago,
when the city was hit
with a wave of very strange energy.
-[electricity crackling]
-[pigeons coo]
[electricity crackling]
[whoosh]
[screaming]
Since then, we've been able
to repeat the anomaly several times.
But no matter how many times I do it,
no one believes me!
Everyone says that my images are faked.
Hard to get a good picture
with all that magnetic distortion.
[all gasp]
But here today, I will prove otherwise!
Now who's ready to see me
burst through space-time?
Doctor, this process is still
very unstable and dangerous.
Should we really involve civilians?
[mocking] "Unstable and dangerous."
Fine, fine! We'll let the press decide!
I think one of those pictures is Amphibia.
I'm almost somewhat certain about it!
I'm not so sure, guys.
The images look pretty fuzzy.
And besides,
we just came to ask questions.
Okay, but can we at least look through it?
Please, Anne?
We'd be able to see home again!
No! We have no idea what will happen!
It's too dangerous!
[Plantars crying]
[groans] Fine! Just a peek.
But then you're not allowed to be sad
for the rest of your lives. Got it?
[Plantars] Yeah!
[chuckles]
All right, Dr. Frakes,
let's see that portal.
That's what I'm talking about, baby!
[cackling]
[beeps]
[powering up]
It's…
It's…
not Amphibia.
[electricity crackling]
[all gasp]
-[groans]
-[gasps]
[both coughing]
Unfortunately,
I can only hold the portal open
for about five seconds
before it collapses and--
Uh, were you three
always giant talking frogs?
-[gasps]
-[chuckles]
-[gasps]
-Um, so… I can explain.
We're frog people from another dimension!
We just wanna go home!
I knew they weren't reporters.
Hmm.
-Ow.
-I see.
[sniffs]
[chuckles]
Terri, clear my schedule!
[shouts, grunts]
Frakes Field activate!
[Plantars scream]
[cackles]
I can see the headlines now:
"Frakes Frogs Change the World."
I'll be the most famous scientist
in history,
as soon as I dissect you
and catalog your organs.
Come back with my frog family!
-Don't try to stop me, Terri!
-I'm not!
Frakes may be an unparalleled genius,
but that doesn't mean
she can just kidnap people!
-We have to stop her!
-Oh.
Well, that's a nice turn. Let's do this!
[karate yell]
There! The stairs!
She's heading for the dissection lab!
[children sniffing]
Snacks!
Oh, no. My granola bar from lunch!
Run, Anne!
-[children clamoring]
-Go! I'll be fine!
Ooh, snacks!
[grunts]
Anne!
-Help!
-Pokey things!
[tools whirring]
[yells, grunts]
[Dr. Frakes] You can't stop me, Anne!
When I'm done, everyone will know my name!
You're crazy, Dr. Fink!
-It's Frakes!
-Whatever.
Not today.
[shouts]
-Dang it.
-[Terri] Anne!
Snacks…
-Here, take my key card!
-Don't you dare, Terri!
One email from me, and you'll never work
in any scientific field ever again!
Do you really want to risk
your entire career for these creatures?
[breathes heavily]
Yep. [grunts]
No!
-[whirring]
-[Plantars groaning]
[clanks]
Let's go!
Terri, Terri. Stop it, Terri!
[screams]
[panting]
[whirring]
[narrator] Behold, the baby penguin,
so noble, fluffy and precious.
-[Dr. Frakes roars]
-[children scream]
What do we do, Anne?
She's after us and madder than a hornet!
I have an idea.
Terri, take the Plantars and go.
Here's a physics lesson for you, Anne.
I'm bigger than you, and I have momentum.
You can't stop me!
I have a lesson for you too.
Cookies really are the answer
to all of life's problems.
[cackles] Oh.
Hey, kids! Snack time!
Uh…
[children] Cookies.
[screaming]
-What? No!
-[children clamoring]
This is all your fault, Terri!
You'll never work again, you hear me?
Never again!
[Dr. Frakes shouts]
-[Hop Pop] Good thinking!
-[Sprig] Nice job, Anne!
[Polly] Any cookies left?
Look, guys. I'm doing my best to get us
back to Amphibia, okay?
And I get how much you miss it,
but you gotta stop guilting me.
I can't resist!
-Sorry, Anne.
-We should have known better.
The Plantars always did have
powerful guiltin' skills.
Yeah, but you cost this poor lady her job
and nearly got dissected!
I think you all actually did me a favor.
Frakes was brilliant,
but also a huge jerk.
This whole thing reminded me
that science is for helping others,
not just helping yourself.
And I think the portal
we'll build together
will be more than enough
to get me a grant.
Wait, you mean…
-What?
-[Polly and Sprig gasp]
Yep! I'm gonna help you
get these goobers home.
[cheering]
[Anne] Thanks, Terri. You're good people.
[Sprig] Hey, Terri, can I drive your car?
Please?
[Terri] Aw, just look at that face.
Well, okay.
-[Anne, Polly, Hop Pop] Terri, no!
-[Terri screams]
[theme song playing]
[Anne laughs]
[Hop Pop] Whoo-hoo! Baby ♪
-[Sprig vocalizes]
-[Hop Pop] Whoa!
-[Polly screams]
-[Anne] Baby ♪
[Sprig vocalizes]
-[Anne vocalizes]
-Ba-ba-ba-baby ♪
[song ends]