Batman s03e08 Episode Script

Back off, creeps.
Batgirl Are you all right? Yes.
Thanks to you.
Barbara! Hey, Babs! Yo! Bookworm! You up there? - What is it, Dick? - All work and no play, you know? Come on, let's do a pizza run.
Love to, but I can't.
If I don't ace these midterms, Dad says he'll throw me in jail.
And with my dad, that's no idle threat.
Okay, catch you later.
Math.
Why did it have to be math? Maybe I should take a break.
Catwoman, I presume.
Well, well.
Look what the bat dragged in.
Give up.
I've caught you.
Caught me? At what? Returning to the scene of your crime.
Look Batgirl, is it? I'm just trying to find out who took the jade-cat statue.
It's an art treasure.
It belongs to the world.
Right.
Pull the other one.
Look.
Looks like the alarm cord was eaten through with acid like the locks on the skylight.
So? That's not my style.
No finesse.
See? Okay.
If you're innocent, come down to police headquarters with me and tell them your story.
- That's also not my style.
One way or another, you're coming with me.
Bats are just mice with wings, little girl.
Robin! Just came to investigate the robbery.
I didn't expect a convention.
- Come on! She's getting away.
- Robin, wait! She's not Here, kitty, kitty.
Bye-bye, birdie.
Hey! We'll talk again soon.
Well, you were a lot of help.
I tried to tell you she didn't steal the jade cat.
How do you know that? I just know, that's all.
Oh, well, thank you, Miss Psychic.
And you call yourself a crime-fighter.
If you'd listened instead of just barging in Just don't get in my way again, okay? Dork.
- That's a great class.
- You said it.
Let's go get a soda.
Got the note, I see.
If this is a trick, Catwoman No trick.
I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was with you last night.
You're smart, and you're fast.
I thought maybe you'd like to work together.
After all, against the two of us, whoever took the jade cat doesn't stand a chance.
Okay.
On one condition.
If you're lying to me and I find out, you'll give yourself up.
Deal.
So you won't be back in time to help me look for your old flame, Catwoman? Sorry, Dick.
You're on your own.
This WayneCorp merger is vital for the European common market.
Okay, sure.
After all, who needs you when I've got Batgirl to help me? Watch out for Selena.
She likes to play mind games.
I hope Batgirl isn't in over her head.
The Stacked Deck? - That's the sleaziest dive in Gotham City.
- Exactly.
The only place to find information on the jade-cat job.
You're not afraid, are you? No.
Of course not.
Let's go.
The mouse has guts.
Nice kitten! - Hey! - Here, kitty! - Oh, my! - Kitty, kitty! Hey, kitten, how about spending one of your nine lives with me? Crawl back in your litter box, creep.
Anyone else wanna get fresh? You stay.
I got nothing to say to you, lady.
Didn't anyone ever tell you it's impolite to walk out on a lady? This is from the jade-cat job.
Residue of the acid used on the locks.
That's nice.
Why tell me? They call you "The Chemist.
" You know every acid, explosive and poison by its first name.
Any idea where this was made? Basic corrosive compound.
Probably a local manufacturer, like Axis, Phoenix, or Hey! Was this part of your plan? It is now.
I think it's closing time.
Hey! This is unit seven, in pursuit of Catwoman and Batgirl.
Oh, Daddy, if you could see your little girl now.
- Hang on! - I am! - You could've gotten us killed.
- But I didn't.
All that, and we didn't even get the information we were looking for.
Sure we did.
You saw the way the chemist freaked when he recognized that acid.
I'm willing to bet only one guy in Gotham makes it.
An old friend of mine.
This is unit seven.
We lost Catwoman and Batgirl on the Bayshore Expressway.
What the heck is she up to? Hey, I recognize this place from crime reports.
It used to belong to Roland Daggett.
This is where he invented the Renuyu drug that turned Matt Hagen into Clayface.
You do know your police cases.
This is also where Daggett developed a virus that nearly killed me and my cat.
It's nice to be right.
Yes, isn't it? Selena Kyle, how pleasant to see you again.
The pleasure is all yours, Daggett.
- We'll be leaving now.
- On the contrary, my dear.
You and your lovely young friend here will be staying forever.
Why take the jade cat, Daggett? There were other, more valuable treasures.
Because it's exactly what you would have taken.
Also I need the money to start over.
My legal fees after my last encounter with Batman left me broke.
The money from this statuette will set me up quite nicely somewhere else while the cops look for a certain feline thief.
So, what are you going to do? Leave us hanging over one of these vats with acid burning through the rope? If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that you crime-fighting types are very resourceful.
So I'll just have my men shoot you and throw your bodies into the vats.
There's still enough acid residue in them to destroy the evidence.
Not bad.
Not bad yourself.
How'd you find us? Miss Kitty isn't the only one with access to a chemical lab.
Where's Catwoman? Going somewhere, Daggett? Get away from me! Nice catch.
Now you know how it feels to look the Grim Reaper in the eye, Daggett.
The same way I felt when you pumped me full of your virus.
No! If you let him fall, you're no better than he is.
Oh, grow up.
Catwoman, wait! Relax.
You've had a busy day.
You were going to keep that statue all along, weren't you? Of course! Haven't you learned yet that only the strong survive in this game? Okay, I admit it.
I was just playing with you at first.
But you really impressed me.
We make a good team.
Together we could pick this town clean.
Even Batman wouldn't be a match for us.
And the cops are a joke, especially that senile fool Gordon.
We had a deal, remember? You lost.
Give yourself up now.
Freeze! Okay.
You win.
And by the way, Batgirl's innocent.
She was acting under coercion.
- You should've said yes.
- Lf I had, I'd be a rat with wings.
I knew you had Catwoman on a leash all along.
You're a lousy liar.
But thanks for trying.
- Are you guys all right? - Yeah.
I said I'd let them take me, but I didn't say how far.
It's okay.
There'll be another time.