Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) s03e08 Episode Script

You're looking at the next 10-15 years in Arkham asylum, Hellgrammite.
I'm never going back to that roach motel, Batman.
Uhh! Are you just going to watch, or can I get a little help here, creeper? You got it, pal.
Batman, Batman he's our man.
If that really totally disgusting, freakishly deformed abomination can't beat him, no one can! Yay, Batman! Not what I had in mind.
Let's go.
Oh, I'd love to, but I've got group therapy in 15 minutes.
And the other psychotics just hate it when I'm late.
First, I'll turn you into my insect slave.
Then all of Gotham will follow.
You know the best way to deal with bugs, Batman? Stomp 'em.
Knock-knock.
Who's on first? Third base? To cross the road! Newman.
That's what she said.
Ha ha ha! Stop that! Uhh! Sure thing.
Uhh! Thanks, creeper.
Much as I hate to admit it, even the hopelessly insane can be useful in the fight against crime.
Aw, shucks, man.
Tweren't nothin'.
It's the creeper.
Grab him! Gotta go, flying rodent dude.
I'll see you around.
Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee! Not if I see you first.
Cease and desist, Catman.
Uhh! Uhh! It's time to give up your crooked path, Catman.
Once you've paid your debt to society, you can Huh? Ha ha! You're caught in a black hole! Uh-uh-uh.
I've got a wormhole card, which means I can warp through that hole All the way to the Andromeda galaxy.
Boo-yah! Cheater! That romance novel boring you yet, ice? 'Cause, you know, I prefer to read stories with a little more action in them.
Oh, there's plenty of that in here, believe me.
Booster You were scheduled to begin monitor duty 5 minutes ago.
Aw, come on, J'onn.
We're playing "Starship.
" I'm going.
I'm going.
You know, you ask me-- Nobody did.
You should toss that loser gold off the team.
Who needs him when you got a living legend like me around? Yeah, 'cause you're huge in the 25th century.
In fact, you're everybody's favorite green lantern.
No, wait.
That's Hal Jordan.
I'm about to make you famous.
Gentlemen, please.
We've got a problem.
Our time-hopping teammate rip hunter is here.
Batman's been what?! Erased from the space-time continuum.
And if we don't act quickly, we'll never get him back.
Go on.
I've learned that a mysterious group of assassins are traveling through history and offing the batmen of various time periods.
Bad men? Ah, ain't one bad enough? Ow! Thus creating a ripple effect through the time line.
With his ancestors gone, the events that created our Batman never happened.
Ay.
Time paradoxes give me a headache.
The key is to just nod and not think about them.
The longer we wait, the greater the chance that all memory of Batman will vanish from our minds, forever.
Then there's literally no time to lose.
We've got batmen to save! Uh, I'm from the future.
So, how come I didn't know about this? 'Cause you're just a time traveler, kid.
I'm the time master.
Oh, ho ho! No, he didn't! I'll stay here, searching all incoming data streams for evidence of Batman while rip transports the rest of you back into history.
I'll go with Tora, 'cause, you know, the kid needs someone to watch her back.
Make sure that's all you're watching.
Blue and gold together again.
Ok, ladies, keep your hands inside the bubble at all times.
Here we go.
Don't forget to use the homing device when you're done.
Look! Cave men! I wonder if we'll see any dinosaurs.
Where did you go to school? Dinosaurs and men didn't exist in the same time period.
But, hey, anything's possible, right? It certainly is.
Aah! Tora! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh.
Me Batman.
Yeah.
Um, me guy.
This ice.
We friends.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Guy and ice, come with Batman to secret hideout.
Well, let me guess.
Batcave? Cave? Heh heh heh! Cave no place for secret hideout.
This is bat tree.
Ah.
Sure.
Why not? You look like good, strong woman.
You be cave Batman's mate.
I, uh, I don't think so.
You see, we're here to warn you about-- Death to all Batmen! Uhh! Uhh! Aah! Aah! Uhh! Uhh! I bet hunter will want to have a look at this.
Batman not happy.
You wreck bat tree.
Hey, I saved your crummy life, didn't I? Oh, yeah, bring it on, Flintstone.
We really should be going now.
Toodles! Where are we? I bet he doesn't even know.
Time master, my butt.
- Out! - Hey! Ho ho.
You are so good with people, boost.
Uh-oh.
Uhh! You pirate dogs are trespassing in me waters.
Pirate? All you're missing is the parrot.
Batman's no pirate.
I'm a fighter for justice.
Became a sea devil to strike terror into the hearts of maggots like you.
Listen.
The reason we're here is to save you.
And what could you two bilge rats save me from? Death to all batmen! That.
I like the cut of your jib, maties.
I'd be honored if you two would become permanent members of me crew.
Heh.
Didn't even know I had a jib.
Much as I'd love to, captain, there's another Batman who needs our help.
Good lads, but a bit peculiar.
Ancient Rome-- reminds me of a dry Atlantis.
How are we going to find the Batman without attracting too much attention, Aquaman? Aquaman? It is the sea God himself! Lord Neptune! Heh.
He wishes.
Friends, romans, countrymen, I am Aquaman.
But please call me Arthur.
Delighted to meet you.
Aah! What is your problem, woman? People are going to notice we don't belong.
You two, stop! I know escaped slaves when I see them.
Chain them! Hunter said that Batman is somewhere nearby.
Let's just play along for now and keep our eyes open.
But I wanted to fight romans.
Look! Citizens, rise up! Freedom is yours! So says Batmanacus! Well, come on! I get to fight romans? Yes! I came, I saw, I conquered.
I'm afraid we're not quite done with the conquering part.
Death to all batmen! Aah! Uhh! Aah! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! That was outrageous! You're as heroic as the Batman of our time.
What? Never mind.
Gotta go.
You've got to admit, hunter, we did a heck of a job.
And I got to fight romans! I wouldn't congratulate yourselves just yet.
Batman hasn't reappeared.
- Batman? - Who is that? None of you remember Batman? Well, I know we were on a mission to save someone, but I'm not sure who.
Then it's only a matter of time till we forget as well.
But why? They saved the batmen of the past.
This fragment isn't from the past or the present.
It's from the far future, which means that's where the threat originates.
There must be a future Batman who's in danger.
But how can the future affect he present? Time isn't linear.
It's simultaneous.
Events in the future create the present as much as events in the past do.
Uhh.
Now I've really got a headache.
Not me.
Will the energy signature of the remains help locate their exact point of origin? - Already have.
- Then I suggest we move quickly, for Batman's sake.
Who? What is this place? You have made a terrible mistake in coming here.
And we're walking toward the loud, evil voice because We're incredibly heroic or incredibly dumb.
This affair was none of your concern, heroes.
Prepare to pay for your interference.
- Equinox.
- You know this guy? Yes.
But I'm not sure how.
Of course, you don't remember Batman, so your memories of me are confused.
Perhaps this will remind you.
Not precisely what your caped crusader looked like but similar enough, I think.
The justice league international, you have come to-- Aah! - That poor creature.
- What is this all about? I was once the keeper of the cosmic balance, a servant of both chaos and order.
Until I outgrew my masters and sought to remake the universe in my own image.
Our Batman stopped you.
Didn't he? Our last battle annihilated my body and shattered my consciousness into a dozen fragments that were hurled across time and space.
Each fragment embodies an aspect of Equinox prime's mind.
I am his hate-- The desire for revenge against the one who did this.
Once I returned to the earth of the future, I insinuated my consciousness into the computer network and put my plans into action.
I created my revenge squad, a group of Metadrones, metallic shells animated by my mind, that I sent back in time to kill all the batmen of history.
You managed to save the others.
But once he perishes, your Batman and all the batmen that ever were will still be erased forever.
And what makes you think we're gonna let you? Uhh! Uhh! No.
I cannot allow this.
I will not allow this! On every world, Batman, in every era, I have had enough of you.
You've run out of time, Batman.
That's where you're wrong, Equinox.
Time is on my side.
Aah! Uhh! The threat has been neutralized.
Huh.
All the awesomeness of our Batman, only in variety-pack form.
But what about our Batman? Huzzah! Batman's alive! I, and all the batmen throughout time, owe you a debt of gratitude.
Don't want to put a damper on this party, but Equinox said his consciousness was blasted into 12 fragments.
- And that means - We haven't heard the last of Equinox.