Beast Wars: Transformers (1996) s03e08 Episode Script

[dramatic music]
♪
- [roars]
- [growls]
- BEAST WARS!
♪
BEAST WARS!
[tires squeal]
- [hisses]
- [roars]
- BEAST WARS!
- [growling]
[crack]
- CHEETOR, MAXIMIZE.
[gasps] - [shouts]
[laughs]
- WOW, TOTALLY AMBUSHED!
OH, YEAH, I'M DOOMED NOW. OKAY, YOU GOT ME.
- [laughs]
- HEY. - CHEE-TOR.
- UNA!
EXCELLENT HAMMERLOCK!
BUT HERE'S A TIP.
WHEN YOU'RE BATTLING BOTS,
HACK AT THE HINGES.
[hitting]
[laughter]
CHAK, MY MAN! YOU READY FOR LESSONS?
- YEAH!
[all gasp]
- GIVE IT UP, WILL YOU, BLONDIE?
THESE KIDS ARE PRIMITIVE.
THEY'RE WAY OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE.
- HEY, THEY'RE SMART!
BESIDES, I DON'T REMEMBER INVITING YOU ALONG.
- HEY, I'VE GOT ORDERS TO WATCH YOUR BACK.
UGH, THESE ARACHNOIDS ARE CRAWLING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
OL' POP OP FIGURES PRUNE-FACE IS UP TO SOMETHING MAJOR.
- WHATEVER. JUST SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. STORY OF MY LIFE.
NOW TODAY'S LESSONS FOR THE ADVANCED ANTHROPOID ARE:
THE LEVER.
[grunts]
- LEV-ER.
- THE PULLEY. [grunts]
[screams]
[laughter]
- PUL-LEY.
- [gasping]
- YEAH, EDUCATIONAL STUFF.
ME, I'D RATHER WATCH THINGS EXPLODE.
- [chuckles]
- RIGHT THERE.
- [whimpers]
- [groans]
[screams]
[all scream]
- QUICKLY, GET THOSE SHIELDING PLATES ATTACHED!
- [moans]
- [shouts]
- [groans]
PREDACONS, RETREAT!
[straining]
THE BIPOLAR ENERGON SOURCE
AFFECTS ALL CYBERTRONIANS.
YES.
THE ARK IS PROTECTED BY TELETRAAN 1
BUT THE MAXIMALS ARE NOT.
OH, YES.
MY DISRUPTOR RAY WILL DESTROY THEM.
HOWEVER, I NEED A NON-CYBERTRONIAN
TO FINISH THE JOB.
THE EARLY HUMANS WOULD BE PERFEC
WERE THEY CAPABLE OF FOLLOWING INSTRUCTION.
- INTERESTING YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, MIGHTY MEGATRON,
FOR I MAY HAVE DISCOVERED
JUST THE ANTHROPOIDAL UPGRADE YOU REQUIRE.
- HEY.
- WHOO!
- OKAY, COOL.
NOW YOU'VE SHAPED YOUR STONE,
YOU ATTACH IT TO THE STICK WITH A VINE
AND YOU'VE GOT A USEFUL, NONVIOLENT TOOL.
- [gasps]
UH-HUH.
- [grunting]
- [giggles]
- [exclaims]
- MM.
- [imitates gun]
- HEY, THIS BOT TRIES FOR POSITIVE PROGRAMMING.
[screams]
- WELL, TIME TO CHANGE CHANNELS, FRISKY.
THESE PREDS ARE DEMANDING SOME ENTERTAINMENT.
- FOR THE ROYALTY!
- GET TO SAFETY, KIDS!
THIS CAT'S GOT BUTTS TO SCRATCH.
- [whimpers]
[gasps]
- [giggles]
WASPINATOR SEES HELPLESS TARGET.
OH, HAPPY DAY!
BEAST MODE.
- [screams]
- [screaming]
- UNA! NO!
[grunting]
- [laughs] OOH.
HUH?
[screams]
- OPTIMUS TO CHEETOR.
SENSORS DETECT A LOT OF FIREPOWER OUT THERE.
WHAT'S THE SITUATION?
- WASPINATOR TOOK UNA.
I HAVE TO GO AFTER THEM.
- FORGET IT, CHEETOR.
YOU'VE SUSTAINED TOO MUCH DAMAGE.
YOU JUST GET CHAK HOME SAFELY.
RATTRAP AND DEPTH CHARGE WILL HAVE TO RETRIEVE THE GIRL.
- BUT-- - TRUST ME ON THIS, CHEETOR.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY.
- [groans]
- HEY, DON'T GET YOUR SPOTS IN A KNOT, KID.
WE'LL BRING HER BACK IN ONE PIECE.
- KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.
- I'VE GOT PREDS TO CATCH.
- OH, NOT ALONE, YOU DON'T!
- GET OFF ME, MOUSE!
- EH, YOU GONNA TALK OR ARE YOU GONNA ROCK?
NOW GET GOING!
- [grunts]
UNA, UNA, UNA!
- SHE'LL BE OKAY, CHAK.
I HOPE.
- [screaming]
- WHEN YOU'RE BATTLING BOTS, HACK AT THE HINGES.
- HIN-GES.
- [moaning]
- HIN-GES.
- [groaning]
WASPINATOR TO MEGATRON.
WASPINATOR HAS FEMALE FLESHY BOT, BUT THERE IS PROBLEM.
- SHE'D BETTER NOT BE INJURED.
- NO!
SHE INJURING WASPINATOR.
- AH, SITUATION NORMAL THEN. YES.
WELL, MAKE SURE SHE ARRIVES SAFELY.
MEGATRON OUT.
- [moans]
WASPINATOR WANT TO RENEGOTIATE CONTRACT.
WASPINATOR DELIVER FLESHY BOT SAFE AND SOUND.
- ROYALTY! THE MAXIMALS ARE APPROACHING!
- EXCELLENT.
ACTIVATE THE DISRUPTOR RAY.
- WHAT? WITHOUT SHIELDING OR STABILIZER CIRCUITS?
THE WHOLE THING COULD BLOW!
- A LOW POWER TEST. SHORT RANGE.
AND QUICKLY.
- WHOA!
WAIT A CYCLE!
WHAT THE SLAGGING BINARY BUCKETS IS THAT?
- FIRE!
- [shouts]
- [groans]
[shouting]
- HMM? [laughs]
- NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?
[shouting]
- THE CIRCUIT'S OVERLOADING! GOING TO BLOW!
- SHUT IT DOWN! NOW!
- [strains]
- HEY, WHAT ARE YA DOING?
- ENERGON CIRCUITS FRIED!
NO POWER.
- OH, THEN, SWITCH TO GLIDE MODE OR SOMETHING!
- I DON'T HAVE A GLIDE MODE, MOUSE!
- YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING!
- I'M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS.
- OH, OKAY.
HOW ABOUT WE CRASH DOWN INTO THEM MOUNTAINS
AND DIE HORRIBLE, AGONIZING DEATHS?
PULL UP!
PULL UP!
[crash]
[grunts]
[laughs]
I AIN'T DEAD!
- THIS DAY'S JUST FULL OF DISAPPOINTMENTS.
- SO HOW YOU DOING THERE, CHARLIE TUNA?
THEM ENERGON CIRCUITS STILL SIZZLED?
- THEY'LL RECOVER.
JUST DIG ME OUT.
- AND LEAVE YOU EXPOSED TO PRED FLIERS?
NO WAY!
YOU JUST LIE THERE AND GET YOUR JUICE BACK.
- WHERE YOU GOING?
- HEY, THIS IS STILL A RESCUE MISSION, REMEMBER?
- MARVELOUS.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
- [struggling]
- I DETECT NO MAXIMAL ENERGY SIGNATURES.
THEY MAY HAVE BEEN DESTROYED!
- I'LL TAKE NO CHANCES.
YOU THERE.
YES.
FINISH INSTALLING THAT SHIELDING PLATE.
THERE, PUT IT ON THOSE BOLTS.
NO, NO, THERE.
YES, THERE!
OH, FOR THE LOV-- NO! RIGHT THERE!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
- [sighs] - YES, THERE!
NOW USE THE WRENCH TO FASTEN IT DOWN.
- W-W-WRENCH?
- NO, THE WRENCH, YOU IMBECILIC ANTHROPOID!
- WRENCH?
- YES, YES, THAT THING.
USE IT.
- [stammering, grunting]
- OH, WHATEVER.
- [sighs]
- YES, AH, YES!
NOW FOR THE FINAL STEP.
INSTALL THE STABILIZER CRYSTAL.
- OOH.
[exclaims]
- OH, CEASE THE SIMIAN SIMPLE-HEADEDNESS.
INSTALL THE CRYSTAL!
THERE, THERE. RIGHT THERE.
- MM.
AH.
- YES, YES!
IT IS DONE!
MY DISRUPTOR RAY IS COMPLETE.
TRIUMPH IS BEFORE ME!
- AND THE RAT IS BEHIND YA!
- WHAT?
[growls]
OH, NO.
- [chuckles]
HMM, TARANTULAS, IT SEEMS THE ANTHROPOID HAS SUDDENLY BECOME,
SHALL WE SAY, OBSOLETE. YES.
- [chuckles]
- [whimpers]
- [growls]
- HEY!
- [crying]
- [chuckles] WHAT?
- [straining]
- LOOK OUT, YOU FOOL!
- OH, NO!
[screams]
- [exclaiming]
- UNA!
- [hollering]
- [hollering]
[tires squeal]
- [shouting]
- I GOT YOU, KID!
- OH, BLAST! AFTER THEM!
- [laughs]
- OH! - WHA?
- AND YOU, GET THE COMPRESSION TOWER
BACK UPRIGHT!
ONCE THOSE OTHERS HAVE LOCATED OUR TARGETS,
IT WILL BE TIME FOR A FINAL TEST AT FULL POWER!
- OH, MAN! ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T MOVE?
- SHUT UP AND PUSH. [grunts]
TO THE WATER.
- [babbles]
- SHEESH!
IF ONLY WE HAD THE SIMPLEST PIECE OF STANDARD EQUIPMENT.
A HOVER-WRENCH, EVEN A GRAV-THRUSTER.
- [grunts] - HUH?
- LEV-ER! OOH!
- HEY!
- [grunts] QUARRY DETECTED, GRID JOONA.
[all grunting]
- ALL PREDACONS, ATTACK!
- WHOO-HOO-HOO!
- [shivers]
DEPTH CHARGE, BEAST MODE.
- [whoops]
- HOO-HOO! LET'S HAUL SOME KEEL.
- STILL CAN'T MOVE.
WELL, THEN JUST MAKE LIKE A BOAT AND FLOAT,
YOU BIG MACKEREL.
'CAUSE WE ARE OUTTA HERE!
YEAH-HOO!
- HURRY! THE RODENT AND DEPTH CHARGE HAVE BEEN SPOTTED.
ONCE WE DESTROY THEM, THIS CANNON'S NEXT TARGE
WILL BE THE MAXIMAL BASE ITSELF.
- OW. CAREFUL, YOU MORONIC MOUSE!
- HEY, IF YOU COULD RIDE A LITTLE STEADIER,
MAYBE I COULD STEER BETTER!
- YOU COULDN'T STEER A GARBAGE SCOW.
- YEAH, LIKE A FLOATING FLOUNDER'S ANY BETTER.
HUH?
[all screaming]
both: HUH?
[coughing]
- [gasps]
- OH.
LEV-ER!
- HUH? OH, YEAH, GOT YA, SISTER!
- OH, WASPINATOR CANNOT SEE!
- FOOL! YOUR PITIFUL PATCH-UPS ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!
[shouting]
- WHOA.
- TARGETS IMMOBILIZED.
PREPARING TO TERMINATE!
OH, NO.
[both shouting]
[laughter]
[all groaning]
- ALL PREDACONS, RETURN TO MY COORDINATES!
THE DISRUPTOR CANNON IS NOW OPERATIONAL.
AND, AS IT HAPPENS,
OUR TARGETS ARE RIGHT IN LINE
WITH THE MAXIMAL BASE.
[laughs]
WE SHALL DESTROY BOTH IN A SINGLE, GLORIOUS ONSLAUGH
OF ENERGON DEVASTATION.
- [chuckles]
- ALL POWER TO MAXIMUM.
PREPARE TO FIRE!
[alarm sounds] - UH-OH. BIG BOT!
- BATTLE STATIONS!
- OH, NO.
- YOU BETTER BAIL, SISTER.
'CAUSE THE RAY WON'T HURT YOU,
BUT OUR EXPLODING BODIES MIGHT.
- WHA?
- YEE-HAW! LUCKY GOING!
[laughter]
- [laughs]
FIRE!
- [laughs]
- WHA?
WHAT? NO, NO!
- UNA PRETTY.
both: A STABILIZER CRYSTAL!
- NO!
NO!
[all shouting]
[shouting]
[grunting]
[Rattrap and Una choking]
- YOU OKAY?
- YOU KNOW, THOSE PREDS ARE PROBABLY SLAGGED
AND HELPLESS BACK THERE.
WE GOTTA GO FINISH THEM OFF.
- IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, SCALES,
WE AIN'T EXACTLY IN FIGHTING TRIM OURSELVES.
I SAY WE GO HOME.
- WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
- SAY, UNA
CHEETOR EVER SHOW YOU MY RECIPE FOR FRIED FLOUNDER?
- [laughs]