Being Erica (2009) s03e08 Episode Script

Previously on "Being Erica": I had a really great time today.
Erica.
I just don't think of you that way.
Mom, you home? Oh my God.
And this was the last time that I saw my daughter.
Let go of me! Sarah! Forget it, dad! I'm never coming home.
Dr.
Tom: I mean, I didn't know if she was dead or alive And I still don't.
Now you waited so long So long To be my number one In a few weeks, I come back to 2010 Okay.
And while I'm here we sleep together.
We sleep together? Yeah.
Dr.
Tom: That's the story, Darryl.
That's the story that you keep telling yourself.
"You're awkward, and you can't talk to women.
" It's not a story, it's the truth.
I know it's hard.
It was hard for me to go back to school.
But this one over here, she gave me a push and look how it turned out.
Adam's right.
You've gotta be willing to take a chance and fail.
You know this, Darryl.
Okay.
I'll try.
Right now, before I lose my nerve.
And that concludes our session for today.
Thanks, everybody.
Man, I love Darryl.
That guy is so much tougher than he realizes.
It's good you pushed him.
Hey.
I learned from the best.
Well, I'll see ya next time.
Yeah.
See ya.
Life, they say, is a series of moments: big and small; joyous and tragic.
It is these moments that give our lives shape and meaning; that call us to examine the path we've taken and what the future holds.
Dr.
Arthur.
Six is too many, Tom, even for you.
Erica was my last one-on-one patient.
Now that she's in group, I have space.
You have the heaviest caseload of any doctor I work with and now you wanna take on more.
It's it's not wise.
Why not? There are more patients than doctors available to help them.
That's beautiful detail.
It's Balinese, right? Dr.
Tom: Right.
Dr.
Arthur, if your concern is that I won't be able to provide the same level of care to all my patients That's not the issue.
You know, the Balinese have a philosophy called "tri hita karana.
" It holds a life in balance as the key to happiness.
I know about Balinese philosophy; I've read many books on the subject.
Yes, books, I see that you have many books.
But, uh When's the last time you took a holiday, hmm? Had an adventure, met a woman? What is this about? It's about your life outside of work.
I don't need a life outside of work.
I don't want any life apart from the one I'm living.
Isn't that the definition of happiness? Perhaps.
You know, Tom, in my experience, sooner or later, life has a way of finding us, whether we want it to or not.
Nevertheless, I won't stand in your way.
Arrangements will be made for you to take on an additional patient.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
And I'll let you answer that.
Hello? Tom? Marjorie? Sarah's come home.
She's back, Tom.
it's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart feels like I'm seeing in the dark waking me up to my heart to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be Hey.
Where is she? Hi, dad.
Sarah? Yeah.
Oh my Oh my God.
Oh, Sarah.
Oh my God Why don't you just start at the beginning.
Sarah, we are not going to judge you or anything that you tell us.
Okay? Um, you remember Martin? Yeah.
Your boyfriend.
Last time that we saw you, uh, you were going on a trip out West with him.
Right? Uh, yeah.
So we got to Vancouver and then, um, we kept going.
We made it all the way to Santa Fe and wound up living out of his van.
Our plan was to find an artist colony.
But then one morning I woke up and Martin was gone.
He just left with everything.
Well, honey, why didn't you call us? Because I was Scared that you'd say you told me so.
And not long after Martin left, uh I met these guys And I started using heroin.
And are you still? Yeah.
But I wanna get clean; That's why I'm here.
Right.
Well, that's good then.
That's really good.
How did you live? You had no money, no job.
You were addicted to drugs.
I I figured it out.
What? You figured it out? I'm sorry, what does that mean? It means that I did what I needed to do to get money when I needed it.
Hey, Kai, it's me, Dave, calling Again.
I can hear you on the radio, but it'd be even better to talk to you for real.
Bye.
I think he forgot, cub-cake.
Ivan.
I've seen it before.
Remember Grismer? Yeah, of course I remember Grismer.
He works out, grows a really luscious pair of biceps, and suddenly he's all a-list and I'm chopped off his bear411 friend list.
That's what Kai's done to you, just with music and not with biceps and pecs, and oh, delts.
Okay, enough.
I get it.
And you're wrong.
Kai's just busy.
Kai's gonna be snorting cocaine off a lady of the night tomorrow instead of being here performing.
Face the music, sweets.
God.
A Saturday morning off feels like such a luxury.
Mmm! So where did Anthony take Max? Hey, Dave! Where we go every weekend - breakfast at Luna's, and a walk through Trinity Bellwoods.
That sounds fun.
- Brunch for two? - You know it.
- Right over here.
- Thanks.
It is.
But sometimes you just need a break.
Yeah.
It's part of our therapy to take time for ourselves.
Since when did they start serving brunch here? Oh, um, Ivan loves french toast.
Ivan loves french toast a little too much.
Uh well then, I'll try that.
You know what? Make that two.
- Thanks, Dave.
- Okay.
So? How's it going anyway, the the therapy? It's going.
Jude, you look miserable.
Is there anything that can I do? This.
Just have brunch with me and, uh, tell me about all your single girl juicy gossip.
You meet anyone lately? No.
No one.
I am taking a self-imposed break from anything man-related.
Like a man-cleanse.
Exactly.
I'm just I'm sick and tired of second-guessing men and trying to read their mixed signals.
So I am not looking.
I'm not letting anyone set me up.
I am being single and happy with my life.
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
You know what, Erica, you know, this might seem weird saying it, but, uh I'm so proud of you.
Oh, Jude.
No, I mean it.
It's just You know, things have changed so much and Yeah.
You're in such a good place and I'm uh Hey.
Look, don't worry.
It's gonna get better.
Hope so.
Hey, there.
Hey, Sam.
I've been looking for you.
I'm off tomorrow.
- Oh yeah? - Mm-hm.
So am I.
I know.
I checked.
I was wondering if you're not busy, maybe we could do something.
Is it gonna involve seeing your parents naked again? God, no.
Lenin! Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Uh, yeah! Yeah, I'd love to do something.
How's dinner? Dinner sounds good.
Okay, I'll call you.
We'll, uh We'll figure it out.
Great.
Male doctor: Excuse me.
Someone spilled a juice or something in the resident's lounge, you need to go clean it.
Slipped and almost broke my neck.
Okay, I'll get right to it, doctor.
You should really go do it now.
This can probably wait.
Hey.
He's working as fast as he can, so tone it down.
Dr.
Strange, I was just asking.
No, you were shooting orders and being rude.
It's fine, Sam.
No, it's not fine.
You're a resident, right? Who's your attending? Look, I'm sorry if I was harsh.
I've been up for 30 hours- It's okay.
You're right, this can wait.
I'll, uh I'll go clean up that mess right now, doctor.
Ugh! I had this fantasy that I would, um clean myself up, go back to school, come back this huge success.
It was really hard to face the reality; that that wasn't gonna happen.
Things weren't gonna work out that way.
But I just reached a point where I realized things weren't gonna get better and I needed to do something about it.
And coming home felt like the scariest thing I could do, so Well, you did the right thing, and we are gonna help you.
Thank you.
Sarah, you are gonna get through this and you are gonna turn your whole life around.
And it's gonna be hard, but your mother and I are gonna be supporting you through that entire process.
Think of it as a fresh start.
But, Sarah, you have to make a commitment to see this through to the end, no matter what.
Can you do that? Yes.
"Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future.
" Melanie Gustafson.
Kai, it's me.
I've left five messages.
The show is tomorrow night.
If you don't call me back, or show up here in the next How long do I have? Kai! Hallelujah! Yeah! What, you don't call, you don't write I'm sorry, man, I was slammed.
I've been doing wall-to-wall gigs.
I did Montreal last night, I did Ottawa the night before.
So what's this? What happened here? Oh, renovations.
Ivan.
Well hello, Mr.
Booker.
Well hello, Ivan.
You're looking good, man.
So what, you got anymore tats? Oh, wouldn't you like to knowWhere.
Hi.
I'm Jody, Kai's manager.
Uh, so how many people are you expecting at this, uh Open mic night? So we're still on for tomorrow night? For sure? Yes.
Yes, of course we are.
Great! See? Uh, so, Kai's headlining and that means we're gonna have a packed house.
Okay, I'm gonna be a dick because that's my job.
Head has one of the hottest singles right now and Kai's doing you a huge favour, so We're gonna need to go through a few things, okay? But I do have to give Julianne credit, because she's Erica.
Kai.
Uh, Judith, it's good to see you.
Long time no see.
Yeah.
I've been busy Busy becoming a rock star.
Come on, bro, we're talking business here.
Yeah, okay, well talk away; I'm catching up with my friend.
In the original timeline, I just blew Dave off.
to see me play and I never turned up.
Ouch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that guy used to lend me money for groceries; he used to let me borrow his car whenever I needed it.
That's how I repaid him.
So, I'm guessing you're gonna be playing here tomorrow night.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Whether Jody likes it or not.
It's weird to be back here.
Last time I saw you, you were sitting out there, I was playing "Alien Like You" and you were smiling.
Yeah.
I guess that was the last time that you saw me.
- Crazy.
- Yeah.
So how's Ethan? He's fine.
So tell me what songs you're gonna sing tomorrow night.
Erica.
Ethan and I, we broke up.
You did? When was that? It was four months ago.
The night that you left.
The night that you went back to the future.
Kai.
Come on, buddy.
If you're serious about doing this thing tomorrow night, there's a lot we gotta do, okay? Yeah.
Um You should probably go.
We'll catch up later.
Go.
What's wrong? Sarah What is it? Is she okay? She's gone.
She said she was going upstairs to take a nap, and I went to get groceries.
And when I came back she was gone.
She took everything: Money, my jewelry Everything.
Kai.
What're you doing here? Do you have any idea how hard it was to shake Jody? First thing I did when I got back to 2019 was fire his ass.
Good.
I never liked that guy.
Come in.
So, I guess if you're here, that means that therapy is going well? Yeah, it is.
I'mI'm learning a lot.
- Part of my.
- Do you wanna grab No, yeah Sorry.
Come in.
I was just Look, I was gonna say, um One of the things I've learned is that I need to take chances.
Emotional chances.
Okay.
So, um So, I'm just gonna say this: I think you're gorgeous and original and brave And I haven't stopped thinking about you since the day I left.
And I wanna be with you.
Say something.
I don't really know what to say.
It's Just seeing you again like this, it's It's really intense.
Yeah.
For me too.
Look, Erica, I'm not asking for a relationship.
I know I know that's impossible.
I just want What? I just want one night.
Oh.
Oh, Kai.
I just need to I just need to think about it.
Okay.
Kai? Where's Dr.
Tom? Dr.
Tom: Sorry, I was delayed.
But we can go ahead.
Let's begin.
The problem is, is that, a few weeks ago, Kai came back on a regret and told me that the next time he saw me, we would We would sleep together.
Kai told you about your future? My future, his past.
So, it's already happened for him.
Can he do that? Tell you about your future? Dr.
Tom? Oh, apparently, he can.
So please, continue.
It's just now I'm, you know, I'm really confused.
Can I even change this? I mean, can I avoid sleeping with him? 'Cause Kai said it was going to happen, which means it's already happened for him, which means You have to go through with it to avoid creating a paradox.
Darryl, this isn't star trek.
That's a "back to the future" reference actually.
You think it's like fate? Like you can't stop it from happening? Of course she can stop it.
The whole idea of fate is bullshit.
He's right; we prove that each and every time we go back and change our past.
- Yeah.
- True.
So the real question is, do you wanna be with him, Erica? Um I don't know.
Dr.
Tom: I don't think that's true.
I don't think you're being honest with what you feel.
If a rock star came to me and said what he said, the way he said it We wouldn't even be having this conversation.
Erica, if you wanna do it, do it.
What do you think, Dr.
Tom? What? To sleep with Kai or not sleep with Kai? Really? Is that why we all came together here today? To solve this important problem? Seriously? Dr.
Tom, I think Erica has the right to ask the question.
Oh, we all have the right to ask questions, Adam, even if they are utterly banal.
I don't think that that's exactly fair.
Erica, there are people in this world with real problems, and this is not a real problem.
Excuse me.
Erica What're you doing? No, what are you doing?! I want you to tell me how is it possible, okay, after two years, two years, that you cannot resolve something like this on your own? Please explain this to me.
Why are you yelling at me? Because I'm disappointed! That's why.
Because I expected more from you.
Look, I didn't call the session.
Dr.
Tom: Erica, if you don't possess the sufficient insight, I mean, if you really need this kind of hand-holding at this stage, then maybe I was wrong and maybe you're not ready to be in group.
Okay, I don't know what's going on, but this is not like you.
Are you not hearing me?! You need to leave.
Go.
Hey.
Hey.
You need a loonie? How come you're allowed to keep coming to my rescue, and the minute I step in to defend you, you give me the death stare? Defend me from what? It's 'cause you're a guy, right? I bruised your ego.
No.
No, this is because it wasn't called for.
That doctor didn't do anything wrong.
He was ordering you around.
He was being rude and treating you like a- like a what? A janitor? This job is a means to an end for me.
Same way as being an esl teacher in Japan was, or, or the year I spent bartending in Australia.
I work, I make money, and I move on.
Being a janitor doesn't define me.
I know.
You really need to let this go, Sam, and just enjoy the adventure.
I like adventures.
You wanna have one right now? Like now? Like Right now? Yeah.
Yeah, come on.
What're we doing? Have you ever been kissed in a supply closet? No.
Would you like to be? What can I get you? Dr.
Arthur: Uh, whatever you've got on tap, please.
Dr.
Tom: And another scotch.
Neat.
Coming up.
Dr.
Arthur: You wanted to talk to me? I can't save Sarah.
No.
She needs more help than I can give her.
She needs to find her own way.
Her own way.
Yeah.
Here you go.
And what if she fails? Then she fails.
Well, I can't accept that.
You don't have a choice.
No, you do though.
You have a choice: You could make her a patient, give her a doctor.
Give her the chance that I was given, that we all were given.
No, Tom, I can't.
That's not how this works and you know it.
Wow, you know What a goddamned life.
I failed at marriage, I failed at fatherhood You're an excellent doctor.
I'm screaming at my patients! I'm drinking away my problems in some dump here.
Is that what excellent doctors do? Hey, buddy.
Keep it down.
Don't tell me to keep it down.
Just go and get me another scotch.
Thanks.
Tell you what.
Why don't you get outta here? Both of you.
Eh.
Come on.
Dr.
Tom: What's happening to me? What does it mean when history repeats itself? It means that we've failed to learn from it.
Hello, Tom.
Where where am I? You're in my office.
Something happened I'm in your office I just, um I jumped from a building.
Who are you? I'm a doctor; a therapist, actually.
Dr.
Naadiah.
What, you're my ctor? I could be, if you'd like.
Nah, I jumped.
No, I remember.
I jumped and I remember falling through the air and then What, I survive? No.
This is what happens when you die? This is what happened to you.
I don't understand you.
Let's just say this is not your standard destination.
Well, then why am I here? Because you're being given an unusual opportunity, Tom.
And now you have a choice to make.
It's up to you to accept or not accept my help.
Uh uh And uh And what does "accepting" involve exactly? Commitment; to see things through to the end.
And if I, uh say yes and if I choose to commit, then Well, what happens then? Then we begin.
Dr.
Arthur: Look at that man in there.
Look at how far he's come; how much you've changed.
So why are you falling apart all over again? Because my daughter's back and she needs help and I can't give that to her.
No.
That is an old story.
There's more to it than that.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Watch.
Listen.
Dr.
Naadiah: So tell me, why did you decide to end your life? Because I don't have a life.
Why? Why do I have to answer this? This is what we do, Tom.
Because Because I'm useless, that's why.
Because I failed at, uh Well, everything.
I failed my wife, I failed my little girl, and I failed myself.
And that's why, okay? I don't want to watch this.
This is pointless, Dr.
Arthur.
I know all this; I lived it.
Tell me why you jumped off that building.
You just heard me tell Dr.
Naadiah.
I wanna hear it from you.
I was a failure.
It's deeper than that, Tom.
How can it be deeper than that? I couldn't save my daughter's life.
And so you deprived yourself of your own life, then, just as you are doing now.
No.
No, that's not the same.
No, you couldn't save her, Tom, so you've devoted every waking moment to saving others.
You're diligent and tireless and compulsive in your efforts; you do nothing else.
You send me back to 2010.
Don't you see, Tom? It has no end.
Saving others will not erase the guilt you feel.
At most, it's been a distraction, and since Sarah has returned, she's brought it all roaring back, hasn't she? You have no life of your own.
You hate yourself so much you're right back where you started again.
Look.
That's all.
That's all we need.
So tell me about regret number two.
"Killing myself.
" Tell me why you want to undo that.
Undo? You mean I don't have to die? Yes, Tom.
You've been given the chance to live.
You've been given the chance to live, so live.
Adam.
Hey.
Hi, come Uh, come in.
What are you doing here? I was worried about you.
I've never seen Dr.
Tom act like that.
He just He just lost it.
Yeah, well, you missed the grand finale.
'Cause he followed me in here right after and said that he was having second thoughts and that maybe I'm not ready for group after all.
He said that? Mm-hm.
You know, apparently, at this point in therapy, I should have sufficient insight to be able to figure it out on my own.
That's insane.
So what're you gonna do? I don't know, but The next time I see Dr.
Tom it's gonna be awkward.
No, I meant with Kai.
Oh, um I don't know, I just I haven't decided yet.
Well Well, for what it's worth, I don't think you should go through with it.
- Why not? - I dont know.
Kai sounds messed up.
I think you deserve someone a lot better.
Don't look at me like that.
- Like what? - Like that.
Like how you're looking at me.
I wasn't.
No, you were.
And you know what? Don't show up at my front doorstep and tell me not to sleep with Kai, all right? It is none of your business.
Erica, I was just making sure you were okay.
You know what? Kai, he may be screwed up, but at least he's honest.
And isn't that your big thing? You know, "being honest in front of a roomful of strangers, it's really hard, Erica.
" Okay.
I don't need this.
At least Kai is not a coward.
You are.
And you're really full of yourself.
Go to hell.
Dave superhero.
Super.
Hero.
Fooooossh! Why do I have to be in love with a wannabe Shakespeare comic book nerd? Human and yet more than human.
Hey.
You haven't seen Erica, have you? No, no, no, she, um She said this wasn't her "scene.
" I can't say I blame her.
In your glow, I am redu-ced to human - Woo! - Thank you.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Uh, everybody, up next, Kai Booker, lead singer of "Head.
" Hey.
Um I'm wanna start off with a song With a song I wrote for a strange girl.
There was a face in a place I know through a window said farewell we walk away we never stay either way we know that time will tell time will tell us where we went time will shift and shape and bend we know time and time again oh-oh-oh-oh well, I'm burning and I'm dancing sinking with the tide this moment will be stolen when our two worlds collide let's save all these souvenirs and still every frame whoa-oh-oh-oh well, I'm burning but I'm dancing sinking with the tide whoa-oh, this moment soon will be stolen when our two worlds collide Hello, Sarah.
Where's mom? At home.
Why are you here? Why am I here? Because I'm here because there are so many things that I want to say to you.
But I don't know if now is the right time.
Say whatever you want.
I deserve it all.
I love you, sweetheart.
And I have never, not for one day, stopped thinking about you.
And seeing what's happened to you, that breaks my heart.
I mean, I I wanna help you, but I'm afraid that I can't and that even if I did, that that wouldn't be enough.
Why are you being so nice to me after what I did? Because I'm letting go of the outcome.
Because I can't fix this for you, and I can't take responsibility for it.
I never asked you to.
I know that.
I know.
I want more than anything for you to put your life back together, Sarah.
I don't know if I can.
Time's up, sir.
I have to go.
Thank you.
I have to go.
Bye.
Bye.
Dr.
Tom: Erica.
I came to apologize.
I should never have said those things.
I know that doesn't make it better.
It makes it a little better.
You really hurt me.
I know.
I should have explained to you what was happening.
Actually, what I should've done is just cancelled the session.
Sarah came back yesterday.
Oh my God.
And it was a very difficult day.
But I shouldn't have taken that out on you, and again, I apologize.
And I hope that you can forgive me.
Are you okay? Yeah.
You know, if you need to take time, it's, it's fine.
I get it; You have a life.
I have a life.
Indeed.
Thank you, Erica, for understanding.
Dr.
Tom, you have been there for me, and if you need anything, I want to be there for you.
Okay, well, I'll see you in group.
Okay.